posted on 22-Oct-2001 12:10:10 AM
Where Will I Be Tomorrow?

Author: Nikki (dancepixie)

Category: Alternate Universe, all CC’s: M/L, M/M, A/I, K/T

Disclaimer: Well, I wish I owned it…or well Brendan at least…well I did but I lost him in a gambling bet…one mistake I’ll never make again! Whoops, wasn’t supposed to tell anyone that…oh well! So now I own nothing…sigh…stupid college…can’t afford anything now…

Summary: What if time were circular for the pod squad? Nothing from the show! The eight are reincarnated again and again and always find each other…Is there a reason they live again and again? Tess is the only one who remembers each subsequent lifetime, and she can never tell the others. This lifetime Tess doesn’t know any of her friends, it is a lonely lifestyle until she hits the road and comes upon them in an interesting place…



* * *

Do you believe in a life after death?

I’m back, again. How many times is this now, I don’t know anymore. I kind of lost count a while ago. I wonder where everyone is. When will I meet them again? What will bring us all together this time? Cause we always meet. Our souls are forever intertwined. Wherever one of us shows up, the others soon follow. But they never remember. Only I do. Why exactly, I’m not so sure. Some would call it a blessing, others a curse. I’m not really sure yet what I believe. Sometimes it is both.

I’m the one who remembers our lives and can’t share the memories with my best friends. I’m the one who remembers the happy times, and the sad. All of the heartache, and the love. I remember watching Max die last time. He was the first. He was my brother in that life. It hurt so much. The rest of us soon followed, and I was the last. It’s not always that way. Sometimes I’ve been first. I never get to know what happened to the rest of them when I die first, it’s a curiosity that will never be satiated. But that’s okay, I don’t really want to think about that right now.

I just want to find them. It’s funny. I feel so old, and yet I’m in the body of a seven year old child. It’s an awkward feeling that I’ve come to deal with. I never really come to terms with my memories until I’m six or seven, once I was ten. It’s an odd sensation, realizing that you’ve lived before. That your brother was your best friend in another life. Or that your best friend was once a sister, or even your mother. I’ve learned to take it all in stride. I know the importance of every minute I get with those who are important to me. I try not to take things for granted. Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from being a saint, but I do have an enhanced appreciation for all things living.

None of them are my family in this life, and I don’t remember them from this lifetime, so it must be waiting ahead in my future. The only question is when.

So I’ve got a question for you. Do you believe in life after death?

* * *

Loneliness. I don’t like to be alone. It can be scary. Sometimes I begin to wonder if I will ever find the others. And then there is always the question, if I don’t find them in this life, will there be a next? I don’t know the answer to that one. It has never happened yet, but it’s a scary thought. Scary as hell when you are all alone.

I am now fifteen years old and there is still no sign of the others. God I miss them! It has been way too long. Right now all I really need is Kyle’s arms holding me tight and never letting me go. Where is he?

In case you are wondering, the year is 1945. The war is finally over. I just thank god that I wasn’t living in Europe in this lifetime. In the last I was in France, that would have been really bad this life. Luckily I’m safely at home in America. Like I was saying, the war is finally over. I hope all of my friends are okay wherever they may be. I hope none of them were hurt or killed in the war before we could all meet. But they hopefully are around my age…or a little older. Max would be the oldest because he died first in the past. I died exactly one year later, and I was the last of us. So no one should be over sixteen. None of them should have been in the war then. Thank goodness for that.

But where are they?

* * *

I graduated high school today. Yes, Teresa Lynn Harding is a high school graduate. Still no sign of my friends…but lately I’ve had this feeling. It is drawing me away from this city. I’m not sure where it is pulling me, but its not here. I think it is the others. I hope that I’ll find them by following this feeling, and if I don’t…well its not like I’m leaving anything important behind. They are all that truly matters in the grand scheme of things.

So I’m on the road. I get where I can how I can. I’ve taken odd jobs at roadside café’s and such. Waitressing for a day or two, cooking here and there, cleaning up hotel rooms for a little while, whatever will get me money. I never stay anywhere too long…I just have this feeling that they are out there, that they are looking for me too, even if they don’t know it.

Right now I’m on my way to Roswell, New Mexico. I’m so tired of Texas, and Roswell is on my way west. I figure I’ll stay there a couple days, see what happens, then I’ll probably be moving on again.

You know its funny…women have the right to vote, yet they are still looked down upon in society. Women make up half of the population, more than half after a large war like the one we’ve just experienced…but that is something else I’m not even going to go into. But men still hold all the power. Why is that? I don’t know, but I don’t like it. Something needs to change. Women are just as capable as men…we need to stand up for ourselves. Well in case you are wondering why I started this little rant…its simple. I’m a woman…I’m traveling alone…get the picture? I have no purpose, no one waiting for me, no specific destination…it makes people wonder. I just start making up stories to tell them…but still, I can tell that the people think it’s horrible that I’m so young and vulnerable and traveling all by my lonesome self across the country. Whatever people…you know nothing about me…about what I have been through…all the things I’ve seen and dealt with. Yes I’ve killed, and yes I’ve been killed…but I would never say that to anyone. They would think I was crazy. Maybe I am.

There is a road sign. It says welcome to Roswell. I made it…I wonder what is here? Will I find anything, or will I be back on the road in a few days? Either way I need a job, I have no more money, the last was spent on this bus ticket. I wonder what kind of a waitressing job I could get here…I’m sure I’ll find something. After all, everyone’s gotta eat!

* * *


[ edited 1 time(s), last at 23-Oct-2001 12:04:32 AM ]
posted on 23-Oct-2001 12:01:42 AM
Where Will I Be Tomorrow

Wow! Thanks for all the great feedback and encouragement, you guys are great! I'm happy to hear that you all like this, cause I definitely like writing it. It had been sitting on my computer all summer, and I finally got it out and was looking at it a few days ago and got some inspiration so I thought why not post it, because then you guys would give me motivation to keep on writing it! So let me know, just pester me some more if you think I'm falling behind in posting and I'll try harder, promise!*wink*

On with part 2!!!


* * *

It’s been a week and I’m still in Roswell. I think I’ll be staying here for a while. Do you want to know why? I found someone! It’s Liz. She owns the café that I’m waitressing at. I’ve gotten close to her in my short time here. When I first came I had nowhere to stay, and when I asked for a job she must have realized that I was a drifter. She asked if I needed a place to stay and offered me a room in her apartment over the Dune, as the café is called. She used to live here with her parents, but they died this past year. The weird thing is she doesn’t seem very sad about it. Maybe she also feels what I feel, no real connection to anyone but the group. That would explain it.


I walked slowly down main street looking at all the different shops. This town was just like hundreds of others I had been through…nothing too special. As I passed a café, I noticed the help wanted sign in the window. Perfect.

Inside the place was the perfect image of a desert town. Imagine my not so surprised look when I realize the place is called the Dune…as in sand dune…funny…I think.

Anyways, I was kind of standing around near the register when I feel something…this pull inside me. I know someone must be close…its that feeling I get. I look up and imagine my surprise when I see Liz. I smiled so brightly at her…she must have thought I was strange. But to me, it meant the world. It meant that I wasn’t alone anymore. After seventeen years…I finally found someone!

“Can I help you?” she asked me in her sweet voice. Yep, she’s still pretty soft spoken, I’m not surprised, especially since she grew up in this small town. Besides, you can’t change who you are in your soul.

“Hi, I was walking down the street and I noticed your help wanted sign. I’ve been a waitress before in lots of small diners and restaurants like this.” I really want this job. One, its with Liz. Two, I think I’ll be staying here for a while.

Well, she gave me the job, and as I sat at the counter in the café, she realized I was a drifter. She offered me a place to stay.

“I own this place since my parents died last year. Me and my sister live alone in the apartment upstairs. There is plenty of room if you need a place to stay or something.” How could I refuse? Easy, I couldn’t. I finally wasn’t alone. And neither was Liz, but actually, she had never been alone, she’s had Maria this whole time. They are twin sisters. How lucky for them. But they don’t even understand what it is like to be alone like I have been. They never will, because they never remember. Why does everything have to be so difficult for me?


So Liz, Maria and I are living together and I’m so happy that I finally found someone. I’m not lonely anymore. Being alone is the worst, and I have been for the last seventeen years, but now, now I’m good. I guess my instincts were right in bringing me here. Now all that is missing is Isabel and the guys. I miss Kyle. At night he is all I dream about. For the last seventeen years all I’ve wanted is his arms around me, and hopefully I won’t have to wait seventeen more.

Maria has long blond hair that curls just at the ends. I’m jealous of it. My hair is all poofy and frizzy from all the curls. But Maria’s is nice. She’s tall too, at least 5’8”, I’m not really sure exactly. Liz and I are both short at 5’4”. They are both pretty much the way that I remember them. Maria is more talkative I think than last time and way more outgoing. But that is just her. I’ve missed them so much.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if they remembered me too, but I might as well not waste my time thinking about it since it’ll never happen. I’m the only one that remembers. It’s always been that way and I suppose it always will. I just wish sometimes that it were different. Sometimes it’s hard being the only one.

Enough of me complaining, I’m sure you’re tired of it already. Anyways, you’re probably wondering if we’ll ever meet the others…the others…I miss them…

* * *