posted on 13-Jun-2002 12:38:57 AM
Title: The Friendship Façade
Author: KA (Kat)
Email: Chesire_Kat⊕hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13 (Just to be safe lol)
Disclaimer: Roswell belongs to WB, UPN, Jason Katims, Melinda Metz etc. And I belong to an active imagination and a computer *big*.
Summary: Alex Whitman has a secret that could ruin the friendship between him and his best friend. As she takes off to spend a year abroad he finally tells her those words he’s always meant to say. In Rome will Liz Parker have the time of her life or learn you don’t always have to leave home to find yourself?
Category: AU, True Blue

“Stay. Please,” the lanky eighteen year old begged his petite friend.

“I can’t. I have to go,” the brunette countered.

“Why?”

“I can’t do this anymore. I thought you understood.”

“I do but I don’t want you to go.”

“I have to go. This is my chance to get away from here. This is my chance to become something else,” she said dramatically.

“You’ll get another chance, we both know it.”

“I can’t turn this down Alex.”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because the risk that I’ll look back on this wonder ‘If?’ is too much for me. I can’t wonder. I have to go. I have to find out what will happen.”

“But it’s our senior year.”

“Yes it is.”

“Are you sure your not just running?”

“What would be running from?” she asked defensively.

“Come on Liz. You dated him for three years. You were getting ready to turn down the offer to spend your senior year in Rome but out of no where he breaks up with you.”

“So?”

“So, three days later I find you at our spot in the desert and you tell me you just signed and turned in the forms.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is if Max wouldn’t have broken up with you would you still be heading to Europe for our senior year?” her best friend asked.

“That’s not fair Alex.”

“You said it yourself four days ago, ‘Alex life isn’t fair sometimes, we both got dicked over but we have to move on.’ I think you’re running not moving on.”

“I’m just taking an opportunity. You just got back from Japan. You left after Isabel broke up with you.”

“I went for six weeks and I had been planning to go for months before we broke up.”

“So, I’m going for year.”

“I’m going to miss you,” Alex told her giving up on his argument knowing she wasn’t going to listen anymore.

“I’m going to miss you too Alex.”

“We always said we were going to spend senior year together. We’ve been planning this since we were in eighth grade. Spring break in California, the road trip to Boston after graduation to apartment hunt, your valedictorian speech.”

“I know Alex. I’m sorry but I have to do this. We’ll still take the road trip.”

“I still think it’s too soon Liz. I think you’re running.”

“Maybe I am. But why stay at this point?” she asked.

“I’m no longer a good enough reason?”

“Alex, you’ve been my best friend since preschool, of course you’re a good reason but…”

“I know, you can’t wonder if.”

“I’ll write, and who knows maybe you can come visit me.”

“I’d like that.”

“And we still have a few days before I go,” she continued.

“Well, we better make the most of these days Liz because you have no idea how much I’m going to miss you.”

Three Days Later; Albuquerque International Sunport


“Now boarding Flight 1039 with nonstop service to Atlanta and continuing service to Rome.”

“That’s you sweetie. Have a good time.” Mr. Parker said hugging his daughter.

“Okay, we can do this,” Liz said crying and looking at Alex.

“Have a good time Liz,” Alex said handing her an envelope.

“What’s this?”

“Just open it after you take off.”

“I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too,” he said hugging her close and kissing her on the cheek.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Then she turned and walked to the gate to board. “Liz wait. Don’t go. I love you.”

Turning around she found Max standing next to Alex.

“You can’t stop me,” she said.

“You can’t go,” Max said.

“It’s too late. I’m turning back now.”

“I love you,” he said again.

“Goodbye Max,” Liz said then boarded the plane.

“I’ll wait for you forever,” both boys said under their breath before walking out of the airport.

After taking off from Atlanta Liz pulled the envelope out of her backpack. Placing the headphones on her ears she hit play on her CD player and opened the envelope.

Hello, good morning, how you do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new

So this is the way that I say I need You
This is the way, this is the way that I'm

Learning to Breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello, good morning, how you been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never never thought that I would fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt his bad


Lizzie,
It’s three am in Tokyo and I’ve been having the time of my life here. There are 149 fellow computer nerds and the program is so much fun for us. I didn’t realize the opportunity I had earned until I got here and realized there are 150 applicants who are actually accepted and thousands of teens apply. This may possible be my greatest accomplishment yet. But I’m stalling.

There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you and I’ve put it off for several reasons. I’ve put this off for to long. Three days before our freshman year of high school I told you I needed to tell you something. Before I could you blurted out that Max had finally asked you out and you finally had a boyfriend. I told you what I needed to tell you was no big deal and two days later Isabel and I hooked up. Well, what I needed to tell you then was a big deal and it still is.

We’ve got this awesome friendship we’ve had since we were three. I cherish our friendship which is why what I’m getting ready to write is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to tell you. I know we’ve said there are no boundaries we can overstep anymore but I’m over stepping the only boundary left.

Elizabeth Parker, I am in love with you. I’m a coward for not telling you sooner. I’ve been in love with you since 8th grade. I remember the moment I realized I am in love with you. I knew things had been changing but I didn’t know what. Then when Sean asked you to the 8th grade dance and you said yes I was so jealous I wanted to hurt him. When you left for the dance holding hands with Kyle I knew I was in love.

I know I should have told you years ago but we’ve both been dating other people for so long. I know you’re still dating Max and I know Isabel and I just broke up but I can’t pretend anymore. You’re my best friend and you always have been; you don’t deserve for me to pretend with you. So, for years this is what I’ve been meaning to tell you. I’ve committed my big dark secret to paper. I love you.

Alex Charles Whitman


Liz then moved on to the second page of the letter.

Liz,
I wrote this when I was in Japan. So much has changed since then. It’s been awhile since you and Max broke up but I know you’re still getting over him. Three years is a long time, I understand, I’m still getting over Isabel too but as I said in the letter I can’t pretend anymore.

I’m not going to ask you to enter a relationship. At this point it would be too difficult. But I am going to ask you to think of the future. Have a kick ass year in Italy. I’ll miss you.

Always,
Alex


So this is the way that I say I need You
This is the way that I say I Love You
This is the way that I say I’m Yours
This is the way, This is the way that

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Yes I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies


“Oh god, I’ve just made the biggest mistake,” Liz said as a tear rolled down her cheek.


[ edited 7 time(s), last at 13-Sep-2002 12:24:56 AM ]
posted on 21-Jun-2002 11:38:56 PM
Liz and I have been best friends since we were four. Some boy was picking on her in the sandbox, after I defended her I was shunned from that day forward by all the guys, they even started calling me “cootieboy,” but the girls loved me. It was the start of what always has been a beautiful friendship. No friendship is free from sexual tension. Liz and I have had a minimal amount but there’s been pining, at least on my part there has.

We’ve always been in the same social circle and until puberty hit we were both kind of dorky, to be honest I still am. In eighth grade Liz started to become popular and for some reason I was able to come along for the ride. I assume because everyone knew we had always been best friends they let me tag along. In all my years spent in the “in-crowd” it never occurred to me what would happen if I was no longer a member, even without Liz because of dating Isabel I would be considered popular. But now I am no longer dating Isabel and Liz, as you know, left for Rome two days ago.

Isabel, my ex-goddess, the greatest mystery to most is what she ever saw in me. The second greatest, how we lasted three years. We have more in common then most people think. When I asked her out I knew I was taking a chance but it wasn’t as big of a chance as people thought it was. Most judge her by her appearance and attitude but don’t let her looks fool you, behind the blonde hair and the stylish clothing there is an intelligent and kind (although insecure and often misunderstood) women. To most people’s surprise she holds the fourth highest GPA in our class.

Neither of us ever imagined our pre high school summer romance would last. We often joked about how our summer fling turned into love, the word marriage had been mentioned between us on several occasions too. I always knew Isabel and I would never marry. Despite dating for years we both knew ultimately we were not meant to be together. So, when Isabel and I decided at the beginning of the summer to break things off it came as a surprise to everyone but us.

I would like to say I getting over her is easy but then someone would have to call my bluff. You do not date someone for that long and wake up suddenly over him or her. I’ve seen her once since and she donned the Ice-Princess attitude that she has toward anyone outside of her circle of friends. Again I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt a little, afterall in the six years I’ve known Isabel, until that moment, she had never graced me with her Ice-Princess persona.

This is what I’ve been reduced to, sitting in the cafeteria of West Roswell High moping and eating lunch by myself. Welcome to my senior year. I’m sure it will be exciting.

“Seat taken?” an unfamiliar voice asked.

I looked up to see who had interrupted my thoughts. Great, a new kid, he must be mistaking me for someone else. “You might ruin your reputation but go ahead, you’ve been warned.” I could help the grin that spread across my face at that moment.

“Michael,” he said as he took a seat.

“Alex,” I replied before going back to my thoughts.

On the bright side graduation is in May, eight months. If I concentrate on schoolwork and do well on my AP courses I just might be salutatorian. Depending on how weighted Liz’s classes in Italy are maybe I can pose some competition to her coveted valedictorian spot. A little friendly competition never hurt anyone. And if I get a job and work my ass off I just might have enough money to go see Liz at Christmas or Spring Break.

“You look like you just lost your best friend,” Michael said breaking through my thoughts.

“I did,” I replied before going back to calculating GPA’s in my head.

“Oh god, I’m sorry man.”

Sorry? What does he have to be sorry about? Oh! He’s taking my words to the extreme. “She’s spending the year in Italy, student exchange program.”

“Oh.”

It was that moment that I choose to look at Michael. My quick glance before hadn’t told me much except that I didn’t know him. He was built like a jock, as most of my old crowd was, with dark unruly hair and the look of mystery one to many females have described over the years. “Are you sure you weren’t looking for the jocks?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“No,” he said with a look of something I couldn’t read but I was guessing there was a story there.

Before I could say anything else a bubbly blonde appeared. “Omigod,” she said taking a seat, “I’ve been looking all over for you. You wouldn’t believe the people around here. They say small-town people are friendlier but god I’m starting to think Chicago was soo much nicer then the people in Roswell ever will be. And god, have you seen what they’re wearing? Are they all just a bunch of clones? It looks like there head cheerleader dictated and the rest followed. Take a look around too, everyone’s in there nice little category. There’s no social crossover. Mark my words this is going to be the worst year.”

I look back in forth between Michael and the bubbly blonde wondering what the hell just happened?

“Translation: She still pissed at Mom and Dad for moving us here and she had a run in with someone,” Michael translated. “Maria, Alex. Alex, Maria”

So she has a name.

Then from four tables over a loud fimular laugh erupted and Maria narrowed her eyes while muttering, “Bitch.”

I followed Maria’s line of vision to see her glaring at Isabel and for the first time since a week before Liz left I let out a huge laugh and smiled that had to have reached my eyes. And for the first since learning Liz isn’t going to be around this year I’m starting to think things might not be so bad after all.
posted on 7-Jul-2002 4:21:32 PM
Good news and bad news time again unfortunately the bad is more then the good. I've been recruited to help move my brother and his family home but it's going to take some time (packing etc.). So, I'm leaving tomorrow morning bright and early (6 am). On to the good news, I'll have (some) time to write why I'm gone. So, I'll see you in a month with updates *happy*.

Kat
posted on 3-Aug-2002 10:02:04 PM
So, I’m home now (I know finally) and I do have updates. I’ll get them posted as soon as possible (they need to be typed, and beta’d first.) I hope anyone sill reading any of my stories hasn’t lost interest by now. *big*

Kat

posted on 16-Aug-2002 10:00:40 PM
Just a quick note to let you guys know I haven’t forgotten about this and plan on continuing writing this fic.

Kat

posted on 3-Sep-2002 8:28:41 PM
Good new, bad news time again. The bad news is I still don’t an update. *Dodges flying objects* But the good news is, I found my inspiration for this again and I am working on an update to hopefully be posted before too long. Thanks for putting up with me and my uncooperative muse.

Kat

posted on 13-Sep-2002 12:23:39 AM
Author’s Note: Well, it’s not my best work but the ever promised update is finally here. Thanks, in advance, for waiting it out, I know it’s been too long since I last updated. And well, I’m going in a different direction noe. This story will all be from Alec’s POV then if anyone’s still interested the follow up story will be in Liz’s POV. I hope you enjoy this…

Part Three

I survived my senior year, somehow. We graduated yesterday, we being Maria, Michael, and I. Liz didn't come despite being salutatorian. Yes, salutatorian, someone beat her out of her coveted valedictorian spot. Something happened to my best friend over the semester, although I'm not sure if I can tell what. What I do know for sure is while Elizabeth Parker was once my best friend, she is now merely an acquaintance.

She arrived home from Italy five days ago, packed a few bags and left for somewhere two days later. I saw her once, and she didn’t even get to meet Michael and Maria.

“Heartbroken doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

“Not now Maria,” Michael warned.

Unfortunately she rarely listens to him. “So, where’s lovergirl now?”

“Elizabeth is in France for the summer, I’m not sure where Liz is.”

“Ohh, split personalities do tell.”

“Maria, butt out.”

I sighed and said the only thing I could, “Things just changed too much. To be honest I’m not sure what happened.”

Maria immediately hugged me and before long coaxed Michael into it, saying it was in the interest of staying unified.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In the solitude of my bedroom I can allow myself to think of what’s truly bothering me. This last year seems like it has been a series of continuous ups and downs. Isabel and I broke up but I finally told Liz I love her. Then Liz went to Rome, but I met Michael and Maria. Then Liz decided not to come home for Christmas but I went skiing with the Guerins. And finally Liz came home but she’s no longer the Liz I know and she’s gone again.

I kept my end of the deal up. I emailed her at least once a week and called whenever I could afford to. But she rarely responded and was never home, which I guess after all is a good thing. She left Roswell to see the world, to live a little. And now I suppose it my turn to move on and let go.

“Oh man, this is lame. You’re not supposed to chill in your bedroom with your depression as your only company the night after you graduate Mr. Valedictorian.” Michael greeted me as he and Maria walked into my room, without knocking.

“Nice pants,” Maria said looking at the PJ pants covered in rubber duckies.

“We have to do something Alex. This is our summer. Then we’re out of here.”

Maria grinned, “And finally heading to a real city.”

Maria never really adjusted to life in Roswell, but she’s made the best of it and we’ve made a lot of trips to Albuquerque and a few to Phoenix. Plus our grand Spring Break college tour: Arizona, California, and Washington.

I got that job I was thinking about. I’ve spent the last six months working at Roswell’s only computer shop. I plan to work there for the rest of the summer too. Then off to college, finally.

“Okay, we’re totally going somewhere,” Maria gave me her best ‘don’t even think about arguing’ look. It works too well.

“Fine, just let me get dressed.”

And that’s how I ended up here, our spot in the desert. And why I’m still here at one in the morning, your guess is as good as mine. But I would say it’s because I let Maria drive instead of following her in my car, like I usually do. But I suppose I should just enjoy it because in two months I’ll be in a foreign city, and I’ll have to find a new spot to claim as my own. Yet, I’ll probably still be thinking about Liz.