posted on 30-Jul-2002 11:42:41 PM
Title: Lovewhammy
Author: Annie
Summary: A short, three parter. Alex is fed up of Isabel ignoring his advances, so he takes things into his own hands. Takes place after Sexual Healing.
Category: PG… a little swearing. Mainly an Alex/Isabel story, but CC too.
Disclaimer: You know that I don’t own them. I only own a cat and a computer, so please don’t sue!

Part One:

"This was the last straw," Alex grumbled, looking down at the bag in his hand. They had just shared their first kiss a couple of days ago, but Isabel went right back into her pattern of ignoring him. To say that Alex was slightly miffed was an understand. Ergo… the bag.
Alex unzipped the small duffel, dumping its contents onto his bedroom floor. The herbs that he had taken from Maria’s room earlier stung his nose with their scent, but Alex ignored it. He randomly opened the bags of herbs and dumped them into a bowl.
"I hope that she will know how it feels," he muttered, reaching for a picture of Isabel. She had given it to him right after he first found out that she, Max, and Michael were aliens. Taking a second to look it over, he then dropped it into the bowl.
The last thing Alex did was grab a book of matches. Igniting one, he lit the concoction on fire. As it burned, Alex watched. "This little exercise is going to serve one of two purposes," he began to laugh to himself. "Either to banish my Isabel demons, or give Liz and Maria license to mock me for the rest of my natural life. I hope that they never find out."
With that, Alex snuffed out the remainder of the fire and turned out his light. "I am such a doof," he chuckled as him climbed into bed. A few minutes later, sleep finally overtook him.


There was a slight rustle next to him. "Isabel," Alex moaned, still lost in a really good dream.
Then, it moved again.
Now Alex was awake. "What the hell," he exclaimed, bolting up in his bed.
"A bit jumpy aren’t we honey," a sugary sweet voice cooed.
Alex hopped out of bed, quickly turning on the light. "Maria," he questioned, blinking a couple of times. "What are you doing here?"
Maria rolled over, pushing herself up on one of her elbows. "What does it look like," she smiled coyly. "I just needed a little cuddle."
Alex took a step away from the bed. "Maria, we don’t cuddle. We hug. Every now and then we link arms, but we have never cuddled."
Her smile got even bigger. "Maybe it’s time we started."
Alex’s eyes grew even wider. "I really don’t think that is such a good idea. First of all, I have never really pictured you in the cuddle sense. Second, what about Michael?"
Maria crawled towards the edge of the bed. "Michael is a nice boy, but I want a nice man."
A nervous chuckle forced it way out of Alex’s throat. "Yeah, but your forgetting that Michael is the nice kind of boy who has about 30 pounds on me. Not to mention all the alien powers."
"He doesn’t matter," Maria cooed. "Now why don’t you come over here," she said, patting the bed next to her.
Alex shuffled to the door. "I don’t think that is such a good idea," he told her, ripping the door and running to the bathroom at the end of the hall.


Light began to filter in from the tiny window in the bathroom. Alex groaned as it hit his eyes. He managed to sit up, but it felt like every bone in his body was on the verge of cracking. "I have now confirmed that bathtubs are not comfortable to sleep in," he muttered, moving his head from side to side. "I just hope that Maria is not still in my room."
Quietly unlock the bathroom door, Alex crept down the hall to his bedroom. Much in the style of a secret spy, Alex peeked around the door frame. To his relief, Maria was no where in sight.
"Thank God," he sighed. "I need to get dressed and get to the Crashdown as soon as possible. Liz has got to have an idea what is going on."
Forty-five minutes later, Alex was making his way into the Crashdown. Glancing around, Alex saw that Maria was nowhere in sight. However, he did see Liz sitting at a booth with Max.
Quickly, he walked over to them. "Hey Max, Liz."
Max gave a little wave. "Morning Alex. Looks like you had a rough night."
"You have no idea," Alex groaned. "Hey Liz, can I talk to you for a second?"
Liz flipped her hair a bit. "Sure Alex. Lets go to the backroom."
She got up from the table, linking her arm with his. She led them to the backroom of the restaurant, where Alex quickly sat down on the little sofa. Liz sat down next to him.
Alex turned to face her. "Is something up with Maria?"
Liz inched closer. "Not that I know of. Why?"
"She sort of… well she kinda… came on to me," Alex blurted out.
Liz laughed. "Your kidding. Maria came on to you."
Alex shook his head. "No I’m not. She came on to me last night."
"What an idiot," Liz blurted out. "She should have known better."
"Huh," Alex asked, a very confused look on his face.
Liz started to rub Alex shoulder. "I mean why would you want to make the same mistake twice. One blond turned you down, why would you attempt another." She moved right up next to him. "Maybe you need to try something a little darker."
Alex threw his head back. "This is UNBELIEVIBLE!"
"Why are you so jumpy honey," Liz cooed, then began to pepper little kisses along Alex’s jawline.
The second her lips made contact with his skin, Alex leapt from the sofa. "Okay. Now I am really freaked out."
Suddenly, Michael burst through the back door of the Crashdown. "You," he shouted, pointing at Alex.
"Hi Michael," Alex twitched.
Michael walked right up to him, reached back, and decked him. Alex landed on his backside, looking up at Michael with more than a shocked expression on his face. "What did you do to Maria," Michael yelled. "She called me at three o’clock this morning, crying about you."
Alex rubbed his jaw. "I didn’t do anything. I promise."
Liz crouched down next to him, resuming her little kisses. "Lizzie will make it better."
"What the hell is going on here," Max asked walking right into the middle of the scene.

[ edited 5 time(s), last at 22-Jan-2003 11:03:23 PM ]
posted on 9-Dec-2002 11:45:13 AM
WOW!!!! I can't believe everyone who has been bumping this and everything! WOW WOW WOW!!!! I finally got the next part finished. Sorry that it has taken me so damn long. I hope that you like it as much as you did the first part. One more part to follow!


Isabel entered the Crashdown, glancing around the restaurant for any danger. Slipping into a booth, she let out a deep sigh of relief that no one she knew was in sight, especially Alex. “It’s better this way,” she told herself. “I can’t be putting him in danger all the time.”

A waitress appeared, took Isabel’s order, and walked away, still leaving Isabel to her thoughts. “I should have never kissed him,” she scolded herself. “Now I can’t get him out of my mind. God, who knew?”

“Well, it’s never going to happen,” Isabel resolved. “I won’t let it. After all, he got dragged into this before he had the chance to really know what was going on. That wasn’t fair. I’m not going to let him stay in this mess because of me. I won’t see him get hurt because of me. Not in this lifetime.”

With her hand curled into a fist, Isabel brought it down on the table to emphasis her decision. Then, she heard in echo. Whirling her head around, Isabel stared at the swinging doors that led to the backroom. “What the hell,” she gasped as she saw Michael shove Alex against a wall through the little window.


“Hey man,” Alex managed to say before Michael took a swing. Ducking just in time, Alex moved under Michael’s arm. However, before he could get away, he collided with Max.

Alex took a couple more steps back. “I swear I didn’t do anything with them,” he told both guys.

“I saw you,” Max seethed, stalking closer to Alex. “Or are you going to say that my eyes were playing tricks on me. That I didn’t see you cuddling with Liz on the floor.”

“She cuddled,” Alex said in defense. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Except for being your adorable self, honey,” Liz added.

Alex turn for a moment to glare at her. “Not helping.”

“See,” Michael exclaimed. “He’s eyeing your girl, Max. I say we get him.”

Charging ahead, both Michael and Max suddenly felt heavy, like the gravity in the room was sucking them down. Falling on the floor, they turned around to see Isabel standing in the doorway, her hand raised. “Somebody better start explaining,” she ordered.

“Isabel,” Max called out. “Let us up.”

Isabel shook her head. “Not until I find out why you were trying to beat up Alex.”

“He’s trying to steal our girls,” Michael informed her, trying to lift his arm.

A snort of laughter escaped from Isabel. “That’s ridiculous. Why would he do that?”

“Cause we are destined to be,” Liz blurted out, stepping over Max on her way to Alex. “Thank you for taking care of this little problem for us, but if you don’t mind, Alex and I should be alone. We have a lot of things to do,” she cooed, curling her body into Alex’s.

This time it was Isabel who charged. She grabbed Liz by the wrist, forcing her away from Alex. “I think not,” she hollered. “I thought I would never say this, but go love up my brother, not my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend,” Liz shouted.

“Boyfriend,” Alex exclaimed.

“So,” Liz took a step back, starting to cry. “You’re two-timing me!”

Alex took a step forward. “Liz, think about what your saying. We’ve never one timed. We’re best friends, not love monkeys.”

Liz looked at him, a tear dripping from her eye. “Not yet,” she said, the twinkle of mischievousness reappearing in her eye. “Just give it time.”

“That’s it,” Max yelled, feeling the power holding him to the ground loosening. “You’re a dead man.”

“Ummm Alex,” Isabel muttered, looking from her brother to Alex, then to Michael. “We should go. NOW!”

Alex stood, confused for a moment. That is until he saw Michael start to push himself up off the ground. “I think you’re right,” he agreed, grabbing Isabel’s arm and dragging her out the backdoor.

After waiting a few moments to make sure they were gone, Liz started to laugh. “I think it’s working.”

“Yeah,” Michael grunted. “But getting sucked to the floor was never part of the plan.”

“At least she didn’t blast us,” Max commented.

Michael’s head shot up. “That was a possibility! Why the hell wasn’t I informed it was a possibility?”

“Calm down,” Liz told him. “Everything is working out like it’s suppose to. We just have to put the final phase of the plan into action, and those to should be a couple by dinnertime.”

“At least I don’t feel so bad about hitting him that hard,” Michael grumbled. “Especially after finding out that I risked getting blasted into next week just to mend his love life. There wasn’t even a chick fight.”

“Thank God,” Liz said, glancing over the red marks on her wrists. “Isabel’s really strong.”

Max laid his hand gently over her wrist, allowing the connection to open so he could heal her. “Not strong, just pissed off.”

Liz let out a little laugh and pulled a cell phone out of her apron pocket. “Either way, it wouldn’t have been pretty. I just have make sure that Maria is ready.”

“And why would they go hide her house,” Michael asked.

“He’s going to want to try a reversal ‘spell,’ or something,” Liz informed him. “To do that, he would need more of Maria’s herbs, and the herbs are at her house.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “There had to be an easier way than this.”


Isabel’s breath was coming out in pants. She and Alex had to have run nearly three blocks without stopping to look behind them. It was time she caught her breath and found out what was going on.

“Stop,” she exhaled. “I’m not taking another step till you tell me what this is all about.”

Alex tugged at her arm, trying to pull her forward with him, but Isabel’s feet were firmly planted. “Come on, Isabel,” Alex pleaded. “We are almost to Maria’s house.”

Isabel ripped her arm away, folding them in front of her chest. “Why are we going to Maria’s? Are you sure she hasn’t gone of the deep end with the others?”

Shaking his head, Alex looked down at the sidewalk. “Oh she just as loony toons as the others, but I think I know how to fix it.”

“How,” Isabel asked, sounding unconvinced.

“We have to cast a counterspell,” Alex told her.

posted on 20-Jan-2003 11:32:06 PM
Just bumping this so I can find it. Last part should be up in the next two days or so. I just have a few things to fix and here it will be.


posted on 22-Jan-2003 11:01:32 PM
Here it is... the last part. I hope you all liked it... that it gave you a good laugh! I really want to thank you for all the bumps and support with this. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Part Three:

Alex knocked gently on the back door to the Deluca house. There was no Jetta in the driveway, but he was not about to take any chances.

"So explain to me again why all of this is going on," Isabel asked.

Sucking in a deep breath, Alex slowly turned the door knob. "For the third time, I cast a lovespell," he explained in a low whisper.

Isabel rolled her eyes. "And I’m suppose to just believe that?"

Alex turned to face her. "Think about it. Why else would Maria and Liz suddenly develop a touchy/feely need for me?"

"Just great, Alex. Dabbling in witchcraft to get the girls to like you," Isabel scoffed. "Nice. You know, real mature."

Eyes scanning around the kitchen, Alex could feel a hint of anger rise in him. "I wouldn’t have had to do it if you hadn’t been such an ice princess."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean," Isabel demanded.

"One minute you like me, the next you just want to be friends." Alex told her, finding that he was yelling. "MAKE up you MIND!"

Isabel was taken back. "Is that why you cast the spell… to make me jealous by seeing you go out with other girls?"

Alex pushed his hand through his hair in frustration. "The spell wasn’t for other girls," he confessed. "It was for you."

Blinking once, then twice, Isabel’s eyes instantly became fixated on the floor. "I… I… don’t know to say."

"Let’s just find the stuff," Alex offered, moving away from her. "Get this over with."

She nodded her head in agreement. "Where is it," she asked softly.

"Maria’s room," Alex said as they started creeping down the hallway towards a bedroom door.

It was wide open. Alex took a peek inside, sighing in relief when he didn’t see anyone. "All’s clear," he called back to Isabel.

Suddenly, the closet door burst open. "That’s what you think, Honey," Maria cooed, instantly running over to him.

However, Alex’s instincts were quicker and he pulled the bedroom door closed in her face. "Hurry," he shouted to Isabel. "Lock her in."

Isabel reached around him, using her power to melt the lock. Both gave a sigh of relief, until they realize what they just did. "The herbs are in there," Isabel groaned in frustration. "How the hell are we going to get to them now?"

Alex threw up his hands. "Since when am I suppose to have all the answers?"

"Since you put the lovewhammy on everyone," Isabel retorted. "Now, please, just come up with an answer…" A loud knocking on the other side of the bedroom door. Maria was trying to get out. "Quick," Isabel finished.

Taking ahold of her hand, Alex dragged Isabel down the hall. "Yeah… I’m thinking quick would be good too."

More knocking and thumping echoed down the corridor as Maria continued in her attempts to get the door open. Alex and Isabel stood still for a moment, both trying to figure out the next course of action.

Without warning, a pair of warm hands wrapped themselves around Alex’s waist. He jump nearly out of his skin.

"Why so jumpy honey," Liz questioned in a low husky voice.

Isabel’s passiveness took over as she pulled and pried Liz’s arms from around Alex. "Back off Liz," she warned.

Liz swatted at Isabel’s hands. "He’s mine," she insisted. "The sooner you realize that, the better."

"That’s what you think," Isabel snapped, grabbing one of Alex’s arms and pulling him towards her.

"It’s what I know," Liz challenged, doing the same.

A few seconds later, Alex found himself in the middle of a tug of war between the two. In the background, he could hear Maria calling out. "Save me a piece… save me a piece."

Could this get any more disturbing, Alex wondered.

Almost as if fate was answering him, the front door practically went flying off it’s hinges as a very ticked off Max and Michael entered. The surprise intrusion shocked both Liz and Isabel to let go abruptly, causing the three of them to fall to the floor.

"Dead meat," Michael growled as he charged forward.

Alex crawled backwards, pushing himself against the wall. Closing his eyes, he braced himself for the punch. A second passed, then another and still no knuckles had made contact with his face.

Opening one eye to peer around, Alex found Michael hunched over. For a split second, he thought that maybe Isabel had done something to him. Creeping forward slightly, Alex realized how wrong he was.

Michael wasn’t hunching in pain. He was laughing. Hell, he was laughing so hard the no sound was coming out.

And he wasn’t the only one. Max was standing only a couple of feet away, Isabel wrapped around his ankle to keep him from moving. The only problem was that Max wasn't trying to go anywhere. He was simply trying to keep standing as the laughter racked his body. Liz was giggling too from her little corner of the hallway.

That’s when Alex notice that Maria’s mantra had also changed. "What’s going on out there," she shouted. "Did it work?"

"Did what work," Alex demanded as he pushing himself to his feet.

"You should have seen you’re face," Michael chuckled, gasping for air. "Priceless. Friggin priceless."

Isabel struggled to her feet. "Someone better explain now," she threatened, moving towards Alex.

Liz took a deep breath. "Why so jumpy… honey," she repeated, doubling over in laughter again. "You actually believed that little lovespell worked?"

"Of course it worked…" Alex trailed off. "What a second, how did you know I cast a lovespell?"

Max inhaled some much needed air. "Maria saw you take the herbs when you were over here last night and she had a good idea what you were going to do with them. She and Liz came up with this idea, and if you ask me it was perfect."

Isabel glared at her brother. "And what was the goal of this plan?"

Michael straightened up, settling for lean against the wall. "To get you two together," he explained, like it was common knowledge. "A twisted matchmaking scheme if you ask me, even if some of it was funny."

Alex started shaking his head. "Great. So you punched my face to improve my love life," he commented sarcastically. Turning to Isabel, he gestured to the mark along his jaw. "See… it’s a happy bruise."

"It will be if Isabel kisses it to make it better," Michael joked.

That was the last straw. Throwing her hands up in defeat, Isabel let out an exasperated sigh. "I can’t take anymore of this," she cried in frustration and stormed out the door.

Everyone left behind grew silent. Except for Alex. "Just perfect," he scolded his friends. Then, he took off after her.

Max, Liz, and Michael stood in shock for a second. They could hear Alex yell for Isabel.

"Ingrates," Michael muttered.

Liz shrugged for a moment. "We may have taken this a bit far," she sighed.

Moving towards the front room window, Max gazed out into the street. "And I think it worked," he told them.

Joining him by the window, the three of them watched as the scene unfolded before them.

That is, until they register the knocking in the background. "Hey," Maria shouted from behind her bedroom door. "Is anybody going to let me out?"


"Isabel," Alex hollowed as he chased her down the street.

"Just stay away from me Alex," Isabel warned. "I have a serious need to be alone right now."

Reaching out, he managed to catch her arm. Tugging gently, he willed her to stop moving. "We need to talk."

Isabel turned on her heal, knocking Alex’s arm away. "Talk… about what? This crazy scheme our friends concocted? We already know what that’s all about, and personally I don’t want to discuss it. It was disturbing enough."

"Why," Alex threw back.

"You’re kidding, right," Isabel asked, a look of complete shock and horror marring her features. "You actually liked Maria and Liz coming on to you?"

Alex winced a bit. "Okay, I can see the freakiness in that. But is it so unbelievable that another girl might actually like me?"

"That’s not what I meant at all," she said defensively.

"Then what did you mean," Alex questioned, watching her face intently.

Isabel’s eyes shifted from him, trying to find a focus on anything but his face. After a moment of looking completely lost, she dropped her head. "It doesn’t matter," she sighed. "Let’s just face the facts… I’m a bitch, and knowing me is going to do nothing but break your heart. You said it yourself, I’m ice princess. Capable of no emotion."

Alex shook his head in opposition. "That’s a misnomer," he remarked, slowly taking a step towards her. "Just because some stupid fool," Alex said, letting out a little cough, "like me, calls you that…he’s lying."

Her head shot up, and Alex could see the traces of tears trailing down her cheeks. "Think about it, Alex. Why else they had to concoct this little scheme," she cried, pointing back at the Deluca house. "They wanted me to feel jealous."

"Did it work," Alex asked, taking another step towards her.

Isabel took a tiny step backwards. "Whatever I want," she whispered, "feel… is to dangerous. You won’t be safe."

Alex moved again, closing the distance between them to only a few small inches. "My choice to make."

Watching as her mouth opened once more, Alex gently pressed his thumb against her warm lips. "My choice," he repeated, then replaced it with his lips.

He could feel the exact moment she gave up fight him. The trembles of her emotions slowed, and she opened up to him.

Slowly, she drew away from him, feeling his lips linger as they could. Alex opened his eyes, looking at the expression on her face. Even through the hint of tears remaining in her eyes, he could see happiness.

"I like this choice," she whispered, bring her mouth back to his.

posted on 25-Jan-2003 11:38:27 PM
LuvRug! That was tooooooo funny! HE HE HE!!!!! Thanks again everyone... espically sternbreaker, New Yorker, and Luvrug. I can't believe how much you three bumped this story!


posted on 26-Jan-2003 1:27:54 PM
Oh God.... I'm sorry... sorry... sorry. I spelled it wrong. I did mean you though. God, I'm evil thing. Forgive me! PLEASE!