posted on 16-Dec-2002 10:10:54 AM
Dedications: all over to everyone who read my stuff , specially err dare I mention mpls muse, ccrswl and Anya well they have read every single piece of crap I've written almost every piece I've written and given me wonderful reviews (hint*)
Summary: basically they all CC are suspiciously regarded as 'problem children' after a test given by even more suspiciously ........ two new councilors...Vanessa Whittakker and Pierce!

Pop quiz sucks!
Now class ! settle down miss Glowe ranted hitting a huge stack of papers on the table the sound was startling enough to quieten the whole class she seemlessly surveyed and enjoyed her little victory on each solemn face in her english class, you could drop a pin in the class and hear it clatter like jangling.

"Now since I finally have your.... ATTENTION!" Michael and Maria looked caught as 33 pair of eyes glared at them well 34 including the teacher who'd pointedly snapped at them as they indulged in childish antics such as hair tugging and paper ball throwing while low and high volumes of bantering could be heard from them.

the teacher settled for a more pleasant smile and sat on the edge of the table as Michael Guerin and Maria De Luca shrugged and sat as silent as the rest of the class pleased with her success Ms. Glowe pulled a sheet from the top of the stack she'd dumped behind her already and held it in front of her as if she'd won the bloomberg lottery, if there was ever such a thing...

"Quiz time"she cheered happily apparently that had been more like the magic word becase the groans comming in collectively from each directions coudl not be notably distinguished

"Aa!" the teacher warned getting up and the class looked on fearlessly , and as if someone finally thrust live wires into them

"we don't want another stupid quiz!"

"we just had our our exams come on!" other comments were suppressed before confession as the teacher raised a ahdn signalling peace in the class most importantly quiet.

"It's not english related you know, something to do with personality structure..."

she gave a long pause before continuing seeing almost everyone looked curious enough

"the school's new councilor Mr. Pierce ........ requested the test in an interesting attempt to discover...disturbed minds, you will have 45 minutes to wite down your answers after I hand them out". the class sighed but not unhappily at least they didn't have pages and pages of essays to write as soon as the first paper was given out random shuffling for pens could be heard from every direction , Maria stuck the purple wad of chewing gum in her mouth on the under side of her desk as she fumbled for a pen and turned around trying to see Liz

"Michael!, get your out of control hair out of the way!" he sheepishly touched his hair and muttered "it's nice hair" before ducking down.

"hey Lizzie, got an extra pen?"

"I have one one" Max interrupted by swinging a spare pen at Maria she almost didn't catch it and said thanks to Max even though he and Liz continued to google at each other imploringly Maria sighed and turned away just in time to see Alex looking at her and waving a hi she waved back almost striking Michael with the pen

"Will you watch it you're gonna take some one's eye out all ready!"

the teacher stopped infront of them and gave them an indignant glare

"Sit seperately both of you... not a word!"

Maria: But...

Ms. Glowe: Shhh!!

Micahel: but All she did was..

Ms. Glowe: SHHHHH!!!

Michael,Maria: but we werent even...

Ms. Glowe: SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Michael and Maria open thier mouths to say something

Ms. Glowe: (To Maria) TEST-TAKE-GO-CORNER-SIT-SHUT UP!! (Maria obeys, Michael is still looking back at Maria)MR. Guerin GET TO WORK BEFORE I DRAG YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND BY THAT RIDICULUS HAIR OF YOURS TO THE OFFICE!!

Isabelle hit a fist on her table it startled the teacher to turning around and focussing her attention at her ....

"Miss Evans would you like to add something to it?"

*yes you're such a complete jerk she thought* she smiled her trade mark cold smile and muttered

"How can someone else add anything to what you say you you never shut up"

Max was looking sharply at her maybe a little dissapprovingly but Isabel continued to glare at the teacher hatefully anyone who insulted Michael was her insulting her and she wasn' going to take it from some idiot ape looking woman who's spanish accent sounded like something she learned from taco bell!.

"What was that Miss Evans, I didn't quite catch it" she spoke strenly knowing exactly what Isabel had said "I'm sorry I don't quite understand what you're attempting to catch"

The teachers turned different shades of red with each word and Alex raised a hand more than a mile in the air quickly

"Mr. Whitman" what's the matter with you now?" Alexcringed at ehr tone but gave a goofy grin asking
"Is this for extra credit?"

the teachers eyes suddenly lit up

"Oh yes, and I can just see it now Mr, Guerin, De Luca and Isabelle Evans would be scoring the highest"

her eyes battled with Isabels for a while before Isabel puffed a strand of silky blond hair out of her face Alex had a small smile on his face as Isabel glared back at the fuming she devil the rest of the class snickered as she slammed sheets of papers down on there desks.Until everyone was busy scribbling on there papers.

15 questions...sigh*

1. What is your choice of a movie?

Max: Notting hill?
Michael: Rocky and Bulwinkle? uh...no pun intended
Kyle: Sweet November?
Alex: Blade?
Isabelle: Miss Congeniality?
Tess: What lies beneath?
Maria: you've got mail?
Liz: space odessy 2000?

2. What is your lifes ambition?

Michael: staying alive?

3. How close are you to your parents?

Alex: only see them on weekends

4. What do you do when your parents tell you not to do something?

Kyle: go and do it

5. what do you think about most of the time?.....

45 minutes later


Now listen up when you get your tests back .....she paused to see whether anyone dared to think against it....the students with the marks above 20 will have to go and give Mr. Pierce an hour long visit to get evaluated so incase your getting below 20 doesn't mean your a bad student it means your just normal and healthy....got it?!

Class: Yes Ma'am!!

Miss Glowe: good ... now skedaddle! the entire class jumped up and ran out
tbc



posted on 17-Dec-2002 10:49:25 AM
"I can't believe this ! how could I get a 93 on this?!!" Isabelle was pacing outside the councilors office before a gathering of her brother and her friends her face was flushed and she rambled very unIsabelle like on about how embarrasing it was to be declared the most disturbed person next to Michael and Max who had goten 97 and 98 she fumed on and on about how ridiculous the whole thing was including those who suggested it, Max, Michael, Maria , Liz, and Isabelle were the only people to be pulled out of class for the moment to be evaluated by the councilor ironically they were the only ones so far to have scored the highest in thier class and Isabelle was worried about what people in class would think. Max was thiking abut rather what kind of councilor were they going to see because if it were someon like Topolski then he would......hey...he didn't know what he'd do but it would definitely not come within the mere limits of niceness, His parents would be glad though they already made him talk to one without any progress. Miss Glowe passed by them snottily sticking her nose up in the air she stopped infront of the group,
"Well now I see we can get to the bottom of your problems Miss Evans" Isabelle shot her a glare and kept silent "Now be advised that girls councilor will me Mr. Pierce and Boys councilor would be Mrs. Whittaker, understood?"
The group shuffled a little and shifted on thier feet.while Isabelle had a look of surprise in her face "Shouldn't it be Mr.Pierce for the boys and Mrs. Whittaker for the girls?" The teacher cocked an eyebrow as it were to stupidest thing she'd heard
"No it is not"
"Oh good thankyou MISS" the teacher drew a thin smile not wanting ot create a scene in front of the others , turned on her heels and left..
Isabelle sat down with an indignant air about her restlessly tapping her foot on the tiles they were all a little uncomfortable about the announcement made by Ms. Glowe and apparently sat thinking quietly what different scenarious could emerge.......
"I'm not going" Micahel announced, Maria got up
"What Michael you can't just NOT go, what are you saying?"
"Of course I CAN NOT GO Maria it doesn't take a genious to figure it out"
Maria crossed her arms and made a face
"Just what I said I'm not going I'll leave before they could call me" Maria made as if to grab Micahel but before they she could....
"Umm Excuse me which one of you is Michael Guerin?" the group looked up to see a stiking woman well dressed with blonde hair and blue eyes she was holding up a file
Michael: Shit!
Maria smothered a smile "Oh I'll miss you" she struck a dramatic pose and there were choruses of laughter that followed Michael as he scowled digging his hands into his pockets and following the blonde woman door the corridoor.
"Well that went well" Alex said his cheeks turning slightly red the girls looked at him as if he'd grown another head
"What?" He asked embarassed the girls all except Isabelle kept a straight face for a half minute before giggling
"What what is it?!" he still hadn't understood Max got up and whispered in his ear "they know you're going to be next" Alex looked confused and Isabelle was fuming "She's Married even!"
"oh" Alex said slowly "But I don't think she's cute" he said it a little too loudly Isabelle was looking at him hatefully..... the girls gave another blast of giggle before they stopped short seeing a man comming in thier direction , a tall good looking man, with shiny black hair and blue eyes , Isabelle still had her head in hands cursing.....
"Hit there, Can I know who Isabelle Evans is?" Isabelle looked up to see the man standing next to her, her eyes went round for a moment but she composed herself and stood up but he already seemed to know who she was and gave her a thrilling smile , Liz and Maria sighed
"Hi" his voice had that kind of coaxing tune and Isabelle happend to like that and she's stopped cursing the test.
"How much did you get over there in your test" he asked casually as if it were no big deal
Isabelle hid the test paper behind her smiling shyly "93"
"Well" he said heartily "Doesn't sound too stressful to me at all"
Isabelle blushed profusely and it was Alex's turn to scowl...
"Come along Miss Evans" he lead on and Isabelle looked saying a soft "I'll be seeing you later"
"I happen to be as tall as him!"Alex said pointing in the direction Isabelle left with mr. Pierce Liz and Maria looked dazed but one look from Max and they looked back to normal.
Alex sat down pouting "Ahhh man!"

******

Michael shifted in his chair even though it was comforable he didn't feel like sitting comfortably at all in it.....Mrs. Wittaker looked up at him sensing his discomfort

Vanessa: is this the first time your seeing a councilor? (she didn't give him time to say anything and carried on) because looks to me like you should see one as often as you can, not to mention your record of..."
Michael: Let's just get this over with ? I don't wanna be late for work(crosed his arms sinkign into the squishy chair)
Vanessa: you're right lets get to the point.....I'm going to give you a choice to as to whether you'd like to tell me about your self or would simple questioning be necessary?
Michael: what if I don't wanna do either?
Vaness: then choose option 3
Michael: which is?
Vanessa: write an essay about...
Michael: I'll talk!
Vanessa: good choice
******
Isabelle is lokoing up once in awhile at him and glancing down trying to find a comfortable sitting position he studies her curiously for a few minutes as waiting for her to change into something unnatural

Pierce: Isabelle we can get started today you know?
Isabelle: (looking confused) what?
Pierce: say something
Isabelle: don't you have to ask me something first?
Pierce: why?
Isabelle: I thought that...never mind...what do you want me to say
Pierce: anything...anyhting you feel like talking about?
Isabelle: I don't, I can't think of anything..of....
Pierce: Isabelle.....
Isabelle: uh yes?
Pierce: Calm down look at you you're so transparent
Isabelle: what(she looked down at herself)
Pierce: oh no no Isabelle not that kind of transparent I just meant yuo look like I'm about to eat you up
Isabelle: it's just...I haven't ever....
Pierce: been to a shrink
Isabelle: yeah ..thats it
Pierce: that's ok Isabelle but I hope you didn't take my comment on your test mark as a compliment because a person your age isn't or shouldn't be so stressed...so let me know what bothers you? and we'll try to help you.
Isabelel: (isabelle didn't look very uncomfortable now just serious) do I have to tell you my personal thoughts..
Pierce: (waves a hand at ehr) it doesn't have to be personal anything you know you want to knwo or you feel smoeone hasn't ben treating you right , worried about losing your boy friend accidently dropped an axe on your teacher anything at all Isabelle besides no one else is going to know them there safe with me.Why would someone like you have secrets anyway....
Isabelle: uh secrets?..did I say secrets? silly me.
******
Vanessa: so tell me what you like Michael it may give me some perspective on you
Michael: Me? I like everything I don't hate anything why would I hate something?
Vanessa:specifically? any cravings?, needs etc
Michael: ok...I like Maria,Tobasco sauce,Maria,whipped cream Apple pie,Maria,chilli cheese burger, Maria, fries,Maria, make out sessions, Maria,Earaser room, Maria, Pokemon,Maria.........................
*******
Alex: what kind of a screen saver is 3d pipes only the biggest moron would think up such ridicuslousness and perversity I mean 3d pipes that dissapear!?!! only the biggest idiot in the face would put such a thing on thier computer and watch it!!!only the biggest fool residing in madness would like such a manic creation!
Wittaker: I find it quite convinient
Alex: can we talk about krispy cremes now?
*******
Maria: it's too hot in here , and I forgot Lip gloss today......are you an experienced shrink?
Pierce: we arent here to talk about me.
******


you're right they will need there own shrinks too
posted on 18-Dec-2002 1:15:30 PM
"I can't believe this ! how could I get a 93 on this?!!" Isabelle was pacing outside the councilors office before a gathering of her brother and her friends her face was flushed and she rambled very unIsabelle like on about how embarrasing it was to be declared the most disturbed person next to Michael and Max who had goten 97 and 98 she fumed on and on about how ridiculous the whole thing was including those who suggested it, Max, Michael, Maria , Liz, and Isabelle were the only people to be pulled out of class for the moment to be evaluated by the councilor ironically they were the only ones so far to have scored the highest in thier class and Isabelle was worried about what people in class would think. Max was thiking abut rather what kind of councilor were they going to see because if it were someon like Topolski then he would......hey...he didn't know what he'd do but it would definitely not come within the mere limits of niceness, His parents would be glad though they already made him talk to one without any progress. Miss Glowe passed by them snottily sticking her nose up in the air she stopped infront of the group,
"Well now I see we can get to the bottom of your problems Miss Evans" Isabelle shot her a glare and kept silent "Now be advised that girls councilor will me Mr. Pierce and Boys councilor would be Mrs. Whittaker, understood?"
The group shuffled a little and shifted on thier feet.while Isabelle had a look of surprise in her face "Shouldn't it be Mr.Pierce for the boys and Mrs. Whittaker for the girls?" The teacher cocked an eyebrow as it were to stupidest thing she'd heard
"No it is not"
"Oh good thankyou MISS" the teacher drew a thin smile not wanting ot create a scene in front of the others , turned on her heels and left..
Isabelle sat down with an indignant air about her restlessly tapping her foot on the tiles they were all a little uncomfortable about the announcement made by Ms. Glowe and apparently sat thinking quietly what different scenarious could emerge.......
"I'm not going" Micahel announced, Maria got up
"What Michael you can't just NOT go, what are you saying?"
"Of course I CAN NOT GO Maria it doesn't take a genious to figure it out"
Maria crossed her arms and made a face
"Just what I said I'm not going I'll leave before they could call me" Maria made as if to grab Micahel but before they she could....
"Umm Excuse me which one of you is Michael Guerin?" the group looked up to see a stiking woman well dressed with blonde hair and blue eyes she was holding up a file
Michael: Shit!
Maria smothered a smile "Oh I'll miss you" she struck a dramatic pose and there were choruses of laughter that followed Michael as he scowled digging his hands into his pockets and following the blonde woman door the corridoor.
"Well that went well" Alex said his cheeks turning slightly red the girls looked at him as if he'd grown another head
"What?" He asked embarassed the girls all except Isabelle kept a straight face for a half minute before giggling
"What what is it?!" he still hadn't understood Max got up and whispered in his ear "they know you're going to be next" Alex looked confused and Isabelle was fuming "She's Married even!"
"oh" Alex said slowly "But I don't think she's cute" he said it a little too loudly Isabelle was looking at him hatefully..... the girls gave another blast of giggle before they stopped short seeing a man comming in thier direction , a tall good looking man, with shiny black hair and blue eyes , Isabelle still had her head in hands cursing.....
"Hit there, Can I know who Isabelle Evans is?" Isabelle looked up to see the man standing next to her, her eyes went round for a moment but she composed herself and stood up but he already seemed to know who she was and gave her a thrilling smile , Liz and Maria sighed
"Hi" his voice had that kind of coaxing tune and Isabelle happend to like that and she's stopped cursing the test.
"How much did you get over there in your test" he asked casually as if it were no big deal
Isabelle hid the test paper behind her smiling shyly "93"
"Well" he said heartily "Doesn't sound too stressful to me at all"
Isabelle blushed profusely and it was Alex's turn to scowl...
"Come along Miss Evans" he lead on and Isabelle looked saying a soft "I'll be seeing you later"
"I happen to be as tall as him!"Alex said pointing in the direction Isabelle left with mr. Pierce Liz and Maria looked dazed but one look from Max and they looked back to normal.
Alex sat down pouting "Ahhh man!"

******

Michael shifted in his chair even though it was comforable he didn't feel like sitting comfortably at all in it.....Mrs. Wittaker looked up at him sensing his discomfort

Vanessa: is this the first time your seeing a councilor? (she didn't give him time to say anything and carried on) because looks to me like you should see one as often as you can, not to mention your record of..."
Michael: Let's just get this over with ? I don't wanna be late for work(crosed his arms sinkign into the squishy chair)
Vanessa: you're right lets get to the point.....I'm going to give you a choice to as to whether you'd like to tell me about your self or would simple questioning be necessary?
Michael: what if I don't wanna do either?
Vaness: then choose option 3
Michael: which is?
Vanessa: write an essay about...
Michael: I'll talk!
Vanessa: good choice
******
Isabelle is lokoing up once in awhile at him and glancing down trying to find a comfortable sitting position he studies her curiously for a few minutes as waiting for her to change into something unnatural

Pierce: Isabelle we can get started today you know?
Isabelle: (looking confused) what?
Pierce: say something
Isabelle: don't you have to ask me something first?
Pierce: why?
Isabelle: I thought that...never mind...what do you want me to say
Pierce: anything...anyhting you feel like talking about?
Isabelle: I don't, I can't think of anything..of....
Pierce: Isabelle.....
Isabelle: uh yes?
Pierce: Calm down look at you you're so transparent
Isabelle: what(she looked down at herself)
Pierce: oh no no Isabelle not that kind of transparent I just meant yuo look like I'm about to eat you up
Isabelle: it's just...I haven't ever....
Pierce: been to a shrink
Isabelle: yeah ..thats it
Pierce: that's ok Isabelle but I hope you didn't take my comment on your test mark as a compliment because a person your age isn't or shouldn't be so stressed...so let me know what bothers you? and we'll try to help you.
Isabelel: (isabelle didn't look very uncomfortable now just serious) do I have to tell you my personal thoughts..
Pierce: (waves a hand at ehr) it doesn't have to be personal anything you know you want to knwo or you feel smoeone hasn't ben treating you right , worried about losing your boy friend accidently dropped an axe on your teacher anything at all Isabelle besides no one else is going to know them there safe with me.Why would someone like you have secrets anyway....
Isabelle: uh secrets?..did I say secrets? silly me.
******
Vanessa: so tell me what you like Michael it may give me some perspective on you
Michael: Me? I like everything I don't hate anything why would I hate something?
Vanessa:specifically? any cravings?, needs etc
Michael: ok...I like Maria,Tobasco sauce,Maria,whipped cream Apple pie,Maria,chilli cheese burger, Maria, fries,Maria, make out sessions, Maria,Earaser room, Maria, Pokemon,Maria.........................
*******
Alex: what kind of a screen saver is 3d pipes only the biggest moron would think up such ridicuslousness and perversity I mean 3d pipes that dissapear!?!! only the biggest idiot in the face would put such a thing on thier computer and watch it!!!only the biggest fool residing in madness would like such a manic creation!
Wittaker: I find it quite convinient
Alex: can we talk about krispy cremes now?
*******
Maria: it's too hot in here , and I forgot Lip gloss today......are you an experienced shrink?
Pierce: we arent here to talk about me.
******
Max: I really can't think of any thing significant
Whittaker: Max your too tense relax...here drink this water
Max: takes a sip.....takes another sip...then takes a whole gulp
Whittaker: (smiles)
Max: this is good water....
Whittaker: yeah...it's got Vodka in it.
Max: (Chokes in mid sip)
*****
Max:I'll tell you something *hiccup(giggle) shhhhh
Whittaker: like what?(getting closer)
Max: they say *hiccup that by singing ones true colors come out
Whittaker: (Excited) really?!..well Max why don't you sing for me?
Max: uhhhh*hiccup ok *hiccup (giggle)
*****
Michael: And then her mother goes like you can't do that here! and I tell her she's my girl friend I should grab whatever I like!
Whittaker: (Head down on the table)
Michael: and then there was one time when I took my pants off infront of her and she goes like what the F-..........
*****
Max: IIIIIIIIII WONT GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT SLEEP!!!!! UNTIL *hiccup YOURE RESTING HERE WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*hiccup
Whittaker: Max I think thats..enough
Max: DON'T FEAR THE REAPER BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DON'TTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!! FEAR THE REAPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whittaker: lets settle down now...
Max: DOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????LIKE I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whittaker: sigh
Max: (giggle) *hiccup
*****
Kyle: I hate Max Evans
Whittaker: why is that kyle, does he provoke you in any way?
Kyle: provoke me shit nothing ! he's got these come-smother-me-eyelashes that are oh so girlie!! I mean sheah rite you'd expect such a guy to bag to hot numbers in one season!
Whittaker: (stares at him)
Kyle: (moment passes by he looks around) WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I wanna be hot too!!!!!!!!!
Whittaker: son I think you need a time out
Kyle: that what mom used to say before she (bottom lip quivers) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want my mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


posted on 19-Dec-2002 5:18:02 PM
Pierce: Liz ...you should tell me something
Liz: no
Pierce: (sigh)Liz we have gone over this 45 times now lets talk
Liz: no
Pierce: would you talk if I gave you candy?
Liz: no
Pierce: talk now!!!!!!!
Liz: no....I could keep this up all day
Pierce:(steamed now) fine then you're not going anywhere.....
Liz: yes I am
Pierce: no yor not now shut up and talk!....uh...I meant just talk don't shush....COME ON!!!
Liz: I'll talk if you promise to take me out
Pierce: uhhhh I can do that
Liz: good now lets discuss my schooling in a very orderly manner you are to write down whatever I say listen to it more than 45 times and then evaluate me and I swear if I'm not pronounced normal I'll......do something....drastic
Pierce: now Liz I...
Liz: desperate
Pierce: lets not go into...
Liz: el desperado!
Pierce: would you just ...
Liz: SHHHHH
Pierce: but I wasn't ...(pulling on his tie)
Liz:you like Shhhheep
Pierce: what I don't...!!(tearing his hair out)
Liz: Lets get on with the shhhhhhow
Pierce: GAH! shut up or I'll.....
Liz: your too tense here I'll fix you up ...(goes to him and sits in his lap offers him water) here drink this water
Pierce( takes a big gulp) this is good water
Liz: (smiling) I know (she winks at the camera a bottle of vodka in the wicker basket)
*****
Whittaker: (crying on her desk)
Max: LIVIN DI VA LOCA!!!!!!!!!!!
Whittaker: (crying harder)
Max: THE ALGEBRA IS A DEVIL OF A SIDE FOR ME! FOR MEEEEE! FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Whittaker: (hitting her head on thew table and crying)
Max: FIGARRRROOOOOOO..FIGAROOOOOOO...FIGARO FIGARO FIGARO FIGARO..FIGAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Whittaker: (what the hell)---she takes a swig of vodka now
Max: Hiccup giggle!
Whittaker,Max: History is a mistry!!!, Algebra has taken of my head, polictis and physics I've done nothing miss, biology is sick theres only one subject I hit!!! 1st in loveology and failed the rest of them!!!!I've only learnt to make relashionshipe!!!!!! loveology L-O-V-E-OLOGY!!!!!!!!loveology L-O-V-E-OLOGY!!!!!!!!


thx for liking it all ...although this is just a way there sessions could be so hold on laer it'll get serious there imagining this right now it's a scenario from every persons perspective...so lets wait and find out
posted on 22-Dec-2002 9:26:48 PM
Kyle: if I could name ten things weird about Max Evans what would they be?
Whittaker(nodding)
Kyle: nothing much but anyway........I hate his oh I'm so good and can toss so many girls around attitude, his oh I'm so innocent gesture, his oh I'm a love god look(batting his eyelashes) and his you better keep away from me stance, and his I'm from the wierd crowd extraordinaire look, his puppy dog pleading look, his I have eyes for only you look, his fricking (sing song voice)I have bunch of morals and you can't touch me..........

Whittaker: sooooo you're in love with this Maria De Luca?
Michael: (chomping on a bag of potato chips) no I'm not, I just think about her all the time, (stuffs chips in his mouth) I just watch her all the time(more chips) I just fantasize about us all the time(eating really really noisily) I just keep thinking how silly she is and how cute she looks when she cries watching those stuuuuupid midinight movies not that I watch them you know, I just think about how kooky she looks wearing that mask she wears everynight to bed...and then there's her huge lips not that I think there too huge or anyhting but except that just that there really HUGE.!!!..
Whittaker interupting) so you watch her at night?
Micahel: uhhhhhhhhh sure all the time....(a beat) why did I say that out loud
Whittaker: (smiling widely)
Michael: stuffs the empty bag of chips in his mouth
Whittaker: Michaelllllllllllllllllllll
Michae: shaking his head with the bag of chips still in his mouth
Whittaker: I wanna know a secret
Michael: (spitting the bag out jumping up on the couch)NEVER!
Whittaker: what will it take to get you to talk?
Michael:errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr uhhhhhhhhh nothing but a bag of jelly beans but since we both know you don't have them bhwahahahahaha...
Whittaker: actually I do keep those in handy
Michael(huge eyes) NOOOOOOOOOOO !!! I'll only tell you about everyhting I know that I don't want you to know about but I'll never be your bitch for a delicious bag of chocolate cherry coated jelly beans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'd rather be Maria's whore!!!!
Whittaker: what?
Michael: uh I don't know.......
******
Pierce: Miss parker I suggest we start taking some direction here
Liz: Are you thinking what I'm thinking
Pierce: What are you thinking?
Liz: what?
Pierce: what!
Liz: what what?
Pierce: what are you thinking
Liz: I don't know do you know?
Pierce: no I don't
Liz: don't what?
Pierce: know
Liz: know what?
Pierce: what you are thinking
Liz: say what am I thinking?
Pierce: thats what I want to know from you
Liz: you what?
Pierce: you!!
Liz: you??
Pierce: YOu!!!! you flat chested bright headed short legged moron !!
Liz: me?
Pierce: yes me!!...uh I mean you
Liz: what about me?
Pierce: what the hell are you thinking:?!!!
Liz: (a pause) hey I think I know what I want to talk about ..do you know what I'm thinking
Pierce: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

******
Pierce:So You're in Love with Michael Guerin?
Maria: no not really I mean not that his weird hair catches my attention or anyhitng not that he keeps me from getting into trouble or anyhitng not that he relally made feel good about my self and gave me sleepless nights filled with lust or anyhting
Pierce: (squirming uncomfortably in his chair)
Maria: and not that I get jealous when I see him talking to Isabelle granted that she has those breasts the size of IDAHO!! and perfect body and all that , why should I besides I don't even like himm to follow me around I don't even think of him as the only living person I'm ever going to be with the rest of my life, not that I CAN'T spend the rest of my life with him I CAN...but I wont because I don't love him ...no sir!!...no weird attractions pulling us together and making us jump on each other no purpose ful fights...not that he give me too much attention any way
Pierce: ummm
Maria: say you don't think I'm falling in love with the retard or anything do you?