|posted on 21-Oct-2001 6:40:50 PM|
Genre: CC, Liz POV
I don’t want to be here.
Five days ago, I agreed to do something that I knew that would somehow kill me. Somehow, some way, this will kill me. Khivar didn’t give me a real choice. It was either ruin myself, or kill Max, Maria, Kyle, Isabel, and Michael.
I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t go to Max, or anyone else. I had a gun to my head, literally and figuratively. So I told him yes. Five days ago, but it could have been five years.
Five days ago, I agreed to let them pretend to kill me, and become Khivar’s Queen. Two days ago, they put “me” in the ground. Max and Kyle carried my coffin from the front, Michael, Sean, and two of my cousins.
Car accident. Died of internal bleeding before anyone could get to me. Damn those “car accidents.” Wouldn’t want Max to impregnate someone else now.
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.
I held Max and Tess’ child in my arms three days ago. That...hurt something inside. I don’t hate Max. I love Max, as always, and forever. I hate myself. I’ve devastated my best friends. I’m assuming. If...when, I get back I’d doubt they’d want anything to do with me.
Cause I am getting back home. Khivar didn’t know who he was taking when he abducted me. By taking me, he’s hurt my friends. And no one hurts my friends without consequences. I’m pissed.
And I’m fighting back.