|posted on 14-Dec-2001 8:47:24 AM|
|Thank you for feedback....I was a little nervous with it being my first time. Thank you for your support.|
A couple hours earlier....
Maria, I know, I know...but I love him.
Liz honey, I know you love him and I know he loves you - or at least claims to.
What do you mean? Liz said teetering on the verge of tears. Because deep down inside Liz knew what Maria meant. If Max loved her the way she loved him - she wouldn't feel the way she does. That lump in her throat was back. And as she pushed the tears and swallowed hard, she turned to back to her best friend with glossy eyes, Maria...
I know. Sweetie, I know. As Maria embraced her in one of the hugs only a best friend could give, she cursed the day Max Evans came into her best friend's life. Granted they had the "soulmate thing" going on that she could only dream of her and Michael having...was it worth the pain that her friend was going through though? NOPE.
Suddenly the ring from the counter bell brought both girls out of the thoughts. Michael! UGH!!! She silently was told herself to not start a fight and mumbled to herself...Men, they never knew what to say, how to act or when just to - nevermind, it's just not worth getting all worked up over. She turned and smiled at Michael and blew him a kiss. Picked up the plate and and started to head over to table number 7.
Liz, you and me, after our shifts...ice cream, two spoons?
No thanks Ria, I think I just need sometime to sort a couple things out. Then she quickly said before a response came....but I will call you the minute I need you - have no fear with a sad smile. There Liz was once again...thinking of someone's feeling, not wanting for them to be hurt...then she thought to herself...what about me? When will I not be hurt.
God! Could this day drag on any longer? Max didn't call her last night. After finding out that Isabel heard from him yesterday, the pain just grew more and more. Here she was - a wreck - praying to god that everything was o.k., that he was safe. She even called him. But he never picked up. Did he find a way home...is he gone? Will she ever see him again?
So here she was a couple hours later, sitting on her lawn chair, looking up at the stars. She pulled her journal out and reread it. All the love, the pain, the dreams lay before her. In her own writing, her very own words. She felt every single one of them. She smiled and she cried. She just turned the page. And a picture fell out. A picture of her, Maria and Alex. Alex...oh god, she whispered all choked up . Everything that happened...the reason he wasn't there with her right now - laughing - was because of her. How could she have been so blind as not to see what the UGH!! witch, was doing to him. What kind of friend wouldn't see a friend, and not just any friend, one of her best friends, slowly dying before her.
As she started to pour her heart out on paper once again. But she had to stop...things were jumbled, the pain just ripped through her to the bone. What was she going to do.
As she wiped her eyes, she shut her journal. It's no use writing, if you are going to be able to read the blur that now seems to be on the page. Her tears were now coming down. As she got up, the slight warm wind blew her hair away her face...and a vision of Max appeared before her...holding white roses and with a look of guilt across his face.
Liz, I ah...
Max, No. All the pain that she thought she got rid of, the pain and doubt that she buried came to head. Why Max? Why wouldn't you at least let me know you were ok? Am I not important enough to you? I jump of bridges, get chased by FBI, lie to my parents whom I love, get arrested...and yet all I do for you...I constantly get let down. Why, please tell why is that Max?
Liz, I am sorry...I...
Sorry isn't going to cut this time. I thought we worked things out Max. I thought that we agreed we were a team. I thought...tears were pouring down her face now at a rapid pace.
He slowly started to come in front her, placing the roses on the ground, with a hushed voice he said, I am so sorry Liz. Please, please forgive. I am constantly letting everyone down, Isabel, Michael, my son, with a chocked voice, Alex...and...
But before he could say anything further, she held her hand up. Tell me Max...why is it that I always put you first, and with a quiet sob, and yet, you always are concerned about everyone else around you, but I am always last on the list. Why?
Tears were now coming down. Her shoulders were slumped forward and she began to shake as she started to cry again.
The pain that ripped through Max hit him with a blow that even the greatest boxer couldn't throw. Here is was once again, hurting the one he loved. As he went to say something, the light in Liz's room went on. He quickly moved into the shadows knowing that if he was caught there, Liz would be sent away and he would never have the chance to make it up to her...yet again.
Liz honey, it's getting late, her mom said. Why don't you come inside.
Liz, quickly wiped her face not wanting to let her mom know that she was crying...it's just another thing she would have to deal with.
As she turned to go inside, Max looked at her with all the love he could show in one look.
But before he could say another word, with a wisper...bye Max.