posted on 16-Oct-2001 12:06:35 PM
Title*~ BACK to YOU
Author*~ jayne
Rating*~ Pg13 to Nc17
Caterory*~*M&L* + M/M K/I.
Post Departure but this time Liz leaves Roswell only to come back home to them when she'd told that Max needs her help.....
Disclaimer*~ I still don't own anything...worse luck!!
Note~* This is the first story I thought of after seeing Departure but I was angry at JB & CO at that time so it went on a very high shelf. Not angry anymore.

~PART 1~

She almost fell over again, quickly having to steady herself while careful not to drop what she was holding so tightly in her hands as she did so, pulling it then back to the safety of her chest once more. She'd been standing on tip toe again to enable her to see higher up the street that she'd been frantically searching up and down for the past 3/4's of an hour.
"He's not coming!"
She'd said it over and over in her head but somehow it had formed into words and now 4 pairs of eyes looked anxiously round first at each other then landing back on her.

"Of course he's IS Max after all, right?"
Maria said smile widening, head nodding as she looked round at the others for support. She then took afew baby steps forward, stopping beside Michael to whisper something to him.

"If he doesn't he'll wish he'd never been hatched...." Michael gave her a sidewards glance, she held it for awhile before looking away.
"..either that or that he had of gone with that Alientrailertrashslut after all, 'cus I'll bust his alien ass if he doesn't do something for her for a change." She was still being careful that Liz wouldn't hear her kicking off behind her. Her tummy now doing flip-flops at the realization at just how close it was to her best friend leaving Roswell. The research job in Florida was a gift from the gods, she so deserved something of herself after everything. Trying to help Max find his son, which she'd done willingly.. no questions, was ever- so softly killing her inside. They'd tried moving on, going on a date even but things had gone too far them to getback on ANY kind of track. So she took the job and today she was leaving. The cab was only acouple of minutes away, unless it was late. Please be late.

"He'll BE here now would you shut up about it already!" He snapped back at her, he too not handling Liz's inpending departure that well, not that any would have noticed, being 'Mr. Stonewall unmotional type guy' except her that is, she knew exactly what was going on with him. Maria looked back at him, reaching back to take his hand lightly into hers. He looked up at her, as she smiled at him with both her lips and eyes.

"Easy Spaceboy, I'll miss her much." Her smile now fading as she caught sight of Liz beginning to pace again. Michael squeezed her hand alittle to get her eyes back.

"Come here." She didn't have to be told twice, nuzzling in hard to his chest as he encircled her.
"I'm sorry." He whispered into her hair as he lay a gentle kiss on her head. She closed her eyes, squeezing him harder, as she felt the tears begin to well in her eyes then quitely fall.

"Damnitt! (sniff)" She said hitting at his back. "Cry why don't ya (sob) make Liz feel a whole lot better (sob, sniff sob)." She wiped her face on his shirt, then burying it again to hide them as more came.
"What sort of best friend am I..god?" He hit his back harder still.

"Hey!" He pulled her face away from him with his hands either side of it so he could look at her.
"... person under shirt and do you wouldn't be acting this way if you wasn't the best friend that she'll ever have."
She stopped crying almost instantly as he stroked one from her cheek.

"Since when did you become a 'Dr. Ruth wannabe' Guerin?" She joked, slowly returning back to normal. He looked up the street,exhaling hard, then back to her.

"" He now held her gaze. Speechless she finally found sound, about to say something, anything then he beat her to it.
"Not one word still wanna hug?" She pulled him so tight, tighter still.
"Hey, hey Space cookie..ribs down here you know!"

Kyle sat on the bench beside them, leaning forward, not noticing that Isabel now sat beside him. He'd seen her all morning already but they had hardly spoken, every time he went to she would either talk first about everything but or walk away. Hecould only take so much and wait for so long. He felt his time was nearly up when he heard her speak. He snapped his head towards her fast, she was smiling at him, he then sat right back away from her, tensing up. What now? was his only thought, her smile faded alittle when she saw his reaction to her.
"Hey." She finally said, her voice sounding alittle strained. She coughed it away. He smiled, blink and you'd miss it, then continued to look and play with his hands.

"Hey..How.. are.. you?" Him sounding just as uncomfortable as he looked. Her smile was now gone. She too was now looking at his hands.

"Fine.You?" This was starting to get painful.

"Fine." He stole a sidewards glance at her, not ever expecting that she would meet it. He caught breath as his eyes widened to hers. She wasn't look away, as his heart threatened to pump right out of his chest. She saw his cheeks go alittle crimson as she felt hers go too. She was now finding to harder and harder to breath but now was not the time to back down. She inhaled hard, clenching her fists into balls as she finally spoke again.

"Look I know things have been alittle...uncomfortable lately..." He stopped her mid-sentence.

"Try near-on impossible Is." He tone now as hard as his face, shifting awkwardly on the bench. She breathed out hard as it hit her...she was too late? Another man now lost to her! She shook alittle as she turned herself away from him, knowing there was nothing that she could do here anymore. She felt herself start to tense up, god she was going to cry. She leant right away from him so he wouldn't see. Not here, not now she screamed over and over in her head as she went to get up and away. She stopped, that was the problem, she was always running away from people. She sat alittle further upright, still not daring to look at him. If she was going to run again she was going to do it right this time, she couldn't leave it like this. She swallowed back her tears for the time being to finally speak.

"..I..I'" He turned his head to look upon her, as she shook hers. "...I know its..." She stopped herself, hitting her thigh hard.
"No..thats wrong..I've..been hard Kyle but everythings been so muddled lately what with Max and now Liz leaving..." She stopped to look back at her as she was still frantically looking for her brother. She felt herself loose her first tear.

"This will break him..break them both." Her voice low. As Kyle sat forward,leaning into her alittle.

"Then why do it? If its the wrong thing then why put themselves through all that pain." His tone was now heartfelt as their eyes met, and held. Her eyes searched his relentlessly as her tears flowed harder.

"..because..its..the..right thing to do I guess." She had to look away now, if not to wipe her invaders away on the back of her hand. She felt him move in closer but this time she didn't move, she couldn't move.

"Is it the right thing to do of us Is? Should we just give up on us like they obviously have?" he reached for her hand, she didn't smack it away like before. She wimpered alittle, hoping Liz wouldn't hear but she was still dealing with too much stuff or her own. Then she looked at him again.

"I don't know..all I do know is that I can't lose anyone else..I can't.." She let her head drop as she couldn't hold onto them all. "..please..don' be too late and too stupid to have lost you too...please?"
He took hold of her shaking hand and squeezed.

"I'm not going anyway and we'll get over what ever it is thats stopping us from being happy." He said while wiping at her cheeks, breaking into a smile.
"Kay?" She nodded alittle as her smile followed, about to say something when Liz's yelp stopped her.

"God, he's here..the cab's here..oh.god..Max..I..can't..I
can't do this..I..can't.." Her eyes were wide as the tears poured out of her, tears that she too had been trying to hide. She stepped away from the kerp and her bags, still holding her precious gift to her chest. She was shaking so hard now that she thought she'd collapse.

"YES YOU CAN.." Maria now had a firm hold of her shoulders, staring her down. "..YOU MUST..." She pulled at her alittle as she spoke. Liz's eyes were wider still.
"You have to do this liz, not just for you but for all of us, your the only one strong enough to get out of here and make ago of your life. You need to do this Liz, you know I'm right." She did nothing, her doe eyes so big now as they continued to flow with tears.

"But's a mistake. What if me and Max can work it out and I'm just giving up..." She looked down the road again as she cried even harder this time. Still no Max but the cab had now parked up, and he was out loading in her bags. She was finding it hard to breathe, as Maria forced her to look back at her by holding her face with her hands.

"What does your heart tell you Liz, its been right up and till now..what does it say to you now?"
Liz inhaled hard, frowning harder as she pulled herself away from her friend. She stopped herself crying, letting herself break into a faint smile as they all stood before her. She said nothing but they knew what the answer was. She began to walk towards the cab, stopping to give them all one fine hug. She held into Michael alittle longer as she stood on tip toe to say something to him alone.

"Take care of my heart for me Michael, keep him safe for me?" She squeezed him harder. "Promise?"

"With my life?"
was all he said as she kissed in lightly on the cheek again. She went to leave him when he wouldn't let her, wanting to hold into her for alittle while longer but he then let her go to a waiting best friend, whos arms were already open to her as she let her head fall into them.

"Now remember what I said ring when you get to the airport, ring before you get on the plane, ring when you get off the plane, ring when your leaving the airport , ring then you get to your place..." She had not taken breath yet but she still kept reeling it off.
" the door to anybody funny wait don't open the door, no wait...don't go out at all..."

"maria..." Liz could still her rambling on. She pushed her away. "MARIA!" That worked, she stopped.



"Everyday?" Her eyes were like a puppy dogs. Liz smiled, she wasn't going to cry either so she tried changing the mood as she heard the cabbie tut behind her.

"Damn right everyday, hundreds of miles away I may be but I still gotta have my daily fix of Mariaisums right?" Her
smile only getting bigger. Maria smiled too.

"You know it girly... Now as I said before don't talk to strangers, don't bring them home, make sure you eat well
which reminds me..." Liz rolled her eyes skyward as she saw Maria reach down to get a big brown paper bag and hand it to her. "....lunch." Liz almost fell under its weight. Maria shrugged her shoulders.
"...and snacks and tea as well because I know you will forget to eat when you get there..." Then her eyes opened wide.
"What time are you getting to your place? Will anybody be there to meet you? Do you know these people that your rooming with? If is dark take your alarm everywhere better still a baseball bat...Have you got a baseball bat?.." She was back to flapping. Liz had had enough so her tone was now stern.

"I have...had my mother for these lectures. I'll be fine." She looked dead into her eyes. "And you will be too right..'cus you know I can't do this if I know your..."
Maria could see that she was about to break again. She grabbed at her shoulders hard.

"I'll be fine, now would you go already?" She gave her her biggest smile as Liz handed her something.

"Would you give this to Max for me please." and she gave Maria her journal, which she finally took. Liz tilted her head to her, knowing just what she was thinking.
"Don't hate him Maria, its not his fault. It just wasn't meant to be I know that now. It's for the best." Her face breaking into a smile but she wasn't fooling Maria, the utter saddest held in her eyes told her otherwise. Maria touched at her face, willing herself not to cry.

"I don't hate him Chica, only what he's done to you..." She looked up the road, scowling hard. "...and I can't believe he's not there...he's gonna be in soooo much trouble when..." Liz's look cut her off dead. Maria rolled her eyes as she held up the journal smiling alittle
"I'll make sure he gets this.." Michael cut her off.

"Why? when she can give it to him herself!" They both looked at him as he pointed back behind them. Liz knew he was running towards her even before he called out her name.
She suddenly felt so hot, reaching out to Maria, eyes wide knowing that he'd made it, he was there and he was running towards her from across the street.

"Maria?" her eyes panicing as she found that she was unable to breathe properly. Maria pressed the journal back into her hand then cupped her cheeks. "" She stammered, now hearing his footsteps almost there.

"Follow your heart. Don't let him get to you ..And don't cry." She stepped away. "I'll be here if need me, kay!" Liz pulled on her arm.

"..but what if its screaming at me to stay?" He was slowing down now, that or run right into her.

"Then listen to his." She saw Max before Liz did, she didn't say a word to him, only to glare and turn away. He was now right beside Liz but she still hadn't dared looked at him.

He said breathlessly. She swallowed so hard as she slowly began to raise her head up to him, her world beginning to spin when she found his eyes. Now she really couldn't breathe as she instintively stepped in closer to him, feeling the heat from his body hit hers hard. He felt hers too, it was making him dizzy.

"I..wasn''" He was finding it hard to talk, he'd run so hard and so fast, or was it just because he was with her? He shifted from one foot to the other.
"'t..already..gone..." He was shaking just as hard as she as her eyes were drawing him in more. He saw the cab and the impatient slob that was staring them down. He looked back at her.
"I'm sorry Liz ...for being late."

"Its okay, your here now.." She now had a big grin on her face, moving in closer still. Her smile always did things to him so much so this time that he had to look away from it, stepping back. Her grin now leaving her face.

"...I nearly didn't come Liz.." His voice like awhisper.

"Ohhhhh" She stepped back too. He looked back at her, eyes low. He had to do this now. He was now looking about him wildly. She tried catching his eyes but he wouldn't let her.

"God, I had this big speech planned but...." He sounded angry with himself as he handed her something from his coat. " I wrote it down, Liz. That's why I'm"
He pushed it further towards her, hand shaky. "..take it please Liz."
She looked first at the letter then at back at him then at letter again as she reached for it. As she went to pull away he stroked a finger over the top of her hand, both feeling the electricity sparking between them, stronger enough to both gasp. He pulled away as they both said nothing.
"I know I have no right to ask you anything after..." He broke off, shifting his eyes from her to the ground, hands now deep in his pockets.
"..can you not open it till you get on the plane.."

"Max.?" She stopped when she found his eyes again.

"..please." He begged. She could never resist him before why should now be any diffrrent, she nodded. He breathed out.
"Thank you Liz."
She then remembered the journal as she handed it towards him. He gave her look of confusion. She gave in something that ressembled a smile.

"I want you to have it Max." He shook his head in disbelief, as she moved it closer to him. "Take it."

"No Liz I can't except this, its yours...its you..I..." He was at a loss. She took his hand and put it in it, holding onto him alittle longer than needed.

"I know but its about you too. There's some things in there you should know about...please Max, for me?" He smiled just long enough for her to see, as he encircled it tightly in his arms against his chest. Their eyes held each others so intently as Max then went to say something, the moment broken as the cabbie then snorted.

"You's coming lady or you'll miss your flight." They both looked up quickly at him as they then went back to each other. She was the first to break the silence.

"So." She was avoiding looking at him.

"So...I guess this is it then?" He mumbled gently.

"Guess so." She turned to go. "Bye Max."
She was leaving, he couldn't breathe. He qucikly took a step forward.

"No..wait.." He reached out to stop her by she'd stepped away from him.
She looked at him then. He could see that she now had tears in her eyes, trying to talk mouth moving but nothing coming out. His heart just stopped as he now looked upon her, not knowing when he would again. He didn't know it but a single tear was running down his cheek also. He shouldn't be about to say this but his body wouldn't let him not.

"I just wanted to say that I'll been when you get...." His voice broken, he was broken, it all to much for her now as she walked slowly upto him only stopping when her arms where around his neck. He closed his eyes to it trying so hard to hold his arms away from her, exhaling hard as he gave in and held onto her so tightly. She clawed at his back as she shook with her tears. He gently stroked at her hair, then doing something he wasn't supposed to do, gently kissing it, just enough so he could feel it and she couldn't. Then she said the words that almost killed him.

"I love you Max."
She said them ever so quietly but they pounded so hard against his ears. He relaxed himself on her alittle upon hearing those words again. It had been so long he felt his world tilt. He had a choice. His heart was almost choking him as he then spoke.

He felt her tense right up then pull slowly away from him at his words. She was trying so hard not to lose it upon realizing that she'd lost him.
'Follow his' and there was her answer, she would have stayed if he had have said those three little words. But he hadn't and he wasn't.

"Are you ready to leave or what missy?"
She slowly turned to him and nodded. She was now. Then saying all that could be said.

"Bye Max."
And this time she really was turning to go. She was stopped suddenly by him placing a gentle kiss on her lips it made her legs waver as he'd run around her, blocking her path. His hands were either side of her face as she returned it gently back to him. Only seconds past but it seemed like a lifetimes worth till he lifted off and away from her, seeing her eyes were closed.Thank god he thought. Then she died little when she felt him he pulling right away from her. She opened her eyes then. She saw nothing in his beautiful eyes to tell her why he'd done that then he spoke.

"Bye Liz."
He whispered as he side stepped her so her could get into the cab. She was crying hard now not able to understand. But his face was unchanging to her.


"Goodbye Liz."
He said alittle firmer as he walked behind her.
"Don't look back..please." He whispered as he walked past her ear, only loud enough for her to hear. She wanted to turn around to that but she felt so sick, she had to sit down. She lowered her head, reaching for her mouth to hid her cries as she finally got into the cab. As it drove off she had to turn round wishing then she hadn't to what she saw. They were all still there, waving her off all but one. He wasn't there. Max was gone.


She woke with a startle, as her head banged off the window. It took awhile to adjust to where see was, then feeling the letter still held tightly in her hands. She'd only recieved yesturday but it was so worn it looked like she'd had it of ages. She flattened it out on her thigh in order to read it again...

Liz, Come Home. Max needs you. Please. Michael.

She wasn't sure if it was the content or who sent it scared her the most but she dropped everything and was on the next plane that took her anywhere near home. She sat upright, straining her neck to see as she realized where she was. Her heart was in her throat, she was home, Roswell now looked back at her like an old friend. It was. She was only afew blocks away from home, breath swallow heart racing. Her head was now spinning, what was she to expect it, had been almost a year. She suddenly sat right back in her seat as if to hide inside it. How would they all take her now? Was it too late for them all? Was it a mistake? She then took hold for herself, max had written the letter - his the asshole, it was all his fault why it had been so hard between them all. Her anger came back. She exhaled hard when she then felt her fingers run over the pendant that Max had given her, that she'd worn everyday around her neck since her departure. She smiled alittle as she held to harder, instantly regretting calling him that. No matter what had happened, or would from now on, it never was, nor would ever be a mistake. The cab then pulled up and stopped outside of 'the crashdown'. She then looked up knowing that her only mistakes were not to have let anybody know that she was coming and that she'd let Josh came with her.


Should I go on?

[ edited 23time(s), last at 27-Oct-2001 9:38:20 AM ]
posted on 16-Oct-2001 6:12:38 PM
Hey guys,

As always Feedback first:

Rainqueen- It's an emotional rollercoaster to say the least, but in a human way, not in an 'alienscomingtotakeovertheearthkindaway'. As for Michael's letter and on. BTW What do you think about 'without you'?x

Angelbaby6977- It was pretty bad to write but as you asked, I did say it would be happy...and it will be! You can trust me girly.x

Strawbehrry Shortcake- Don't feel too bad, they always find a way back to each other don't they? Josh will be explained next, while letter later. BTW Thanx for updating your quote, which I love.x

AvengingAngelIQ- You crack me up! If only Josh were a poodle and your mango's are safe..for now. How can you even say that, NC-17 is always reserved for my babies you know that...period. Unless the story says otherwise.x

Alien614- Do you seriously think there's room for anyone else in Liz's heart other than Max? You make me smile saying that your a dedicated fan of mine. Thanx.x

Narly 21- You were spot on about Max on both counts and I'll be updating 'Without You' tomorrow.x

Thanx again 2 U, your all *angel*'s.

~Part 2~

"so this is it then?.." Josh said leaning out of the same window as she, so close now, too close. She pushed herself up harder against the window.
"..This is were my baby was born." He lay a hand on hers and gently squeezed, which was when he got 'don't touch me eyes' that he'd grown to love since their time together as just friends. She tensed up, she was doing that alot lately.

" know the rules." Her tone was alittle pleading, alittle scolding as she gently yanked it out from under his. He was now holding both up high, grinning from ear- to- ear.

"Okay, okay..but can you blame me for trying. Besides I thought we could use this trip away for us to get to know each other again. I thought we agreed?" He'd now moved away, looking alittle pissed as she reached for the doorhandle, then stopping to answer his question.

"You agreed, I wasn't even there." Her behrly-there smile now gone, eyes without their little sparkle. "You know exactly why I'm here Josh, your just here 'cus you practically invited yourself while showing up on my doorstep in the middle of the night..again, also uninvited so don't pull any of that crap on me about us getting back together.I don't need this right now." She was now rubbing hard at her forehead, breathing now out of control. "'Cus you and I both know that just isn't gonna happen." She began to shake, lowering her head down so her hair would now be covering her face: But not because him even though he'd always had the power to piss her off at a switch of a button, because she was coming face-to-face with a past that she'd tried so hard to forget...almost perminately 6 months ago that night when Josh found her and saved her life. The rememberence of it just making her want to puke right now. He saw how she was, instantly regretting that he'd dared to push again. His voice was low.

"I'm sorry Liz.." He reached out to her, only stopping when she'd shaken her head for him to stop.
" only that it breaks my heart to see you so sad and know that I can't do anything about it." He shifted awkwardly in his seat, her still not looking at him as he continued on.
"When I found out you were coming here I had to come too, you can't go through this on your own and besides I wanted to finally put faces to names for the people and the life that you don't talk about, that has hurt you so very badly, that's all Liz." He swallowed hard to enable him to go on.
"Was that wrong of me, to what to help you confront your demons...comfront Max.." She looked up at him then, eyes wide and shiny. She shook her head, blink and you'd miss it, as she felt the first tear. She quickly wiped it away with her back of her hand before he could, still unable to talk.
"...I'm here for you Liz, for as long as you need me to be kay?" He then broke into alittle smile, trying to change the subject quickly.
"But that wasn't the only reason for me coming out here too." She felt alittle better now as she sat up more.


"No, I just had to see this cooky little town, to see if the stories are true." She frowned as he went on. " you know, see if it had an alien on every street corner?" Liz shuddered, changing back to 'Secret Keeper Liz' as she opened the door. he went to follow her out and she turned to block his entrance out.

"Thanx but no thanx. I am glad and all, that your here but I've got to face this alone." She brushed his cheek then, turning them crimson. "Understand?" Her eyes pleading to his. He could only nod, as she then shut the door, exhaling hard. She'd made it over to the door but she got that familiar feeling again as she then went to slowly open the door of that she'd once called home, which was now so strange to her. Her legs began to whobble under her as her head began tilting. She steaded herself on the handle repeatedly saying over and over in her head 'you can do this. you can do this', Knowing then that she couldn't. Only to feel the pendant hit her on the chest as she saw Max's face flash before her eyes, which were now open. She could do this, Max somehow needed her and he alone was the reason that she made it through that door.

It rang open as always, this time it made her want to yank it off the frame so it wouldn't draw attention to her. So she had time to plan what she would do, how she would handle it. But it had and the place was empty.
"Shit." She whispered, looking around wildly, trying to see where she could hide. There was no where, they'd changed the place round.
"Shit." She then saw the bathroom, still in the same place. She ran to as she heard voices at the hatch. She was almost there, looking wide eyed at the hatchway and not where she was going as she felt space where the door was as it was opened from the inside. She ran straight into the person that came out, hitting her hard in the chest, sending them both backwards.
"Hey watch it!"
Liz reckonized that voice, knowing instantly who it was. She was right as her eyes met with Maria's. Liz shyed away, suddenly feeling so sick as her once best friend looked upon her now with nothing like friendly eyes. Both took steps back, still unable to speak. Liz just wanted to run, this was a very, very bad idea, her eyes darting towards the door then back, Maria's still in the same place still staring her down. They would have spent all day like that if Michael hadn't have spoken.

"Liz!" She turned to see him almost beside her. She stepped back from him as he came closer, unsure of what to expect next, unable to handle anything more than a simple hello. She got more than that, much more as she felt him pull her into a hug, squeezing her tight once there.
"You came." Tighter still as she held onto him just as tightly, opening her eyes to see Maria still staring her down. She then found her voice.

"How could I not after your letter." Her voice low and alittle shaky. He pulled her away by putting his hands either side of her face, so he could see her face.

"Sorry it didn't explain much, but with you now without a phone and me not good at that sort of thing I wasn't sure if it would even reach you before you rang again." He was relentlessly searching her eyes.
"How are you...everything okay?" She could only nod, as she felt him stroke at her hair as a gentle smile broke on his concern filled face.
"Its good to see you know ..after..." His smile gone as his voice trailed off. Liz's eyes were wide as she let her head shake from side to side to him. He could feel her tense right up. He could only smile again as she quickly spoke again.

"Where's Max? What's wrong with him?.." She'd now grabbed hold of his arms, pulling at them with every word. " your letter you said he....."

"Okay, okay time out people..." They both snapped round at where she now stood as she barked at them.
"..This is sweet and all but would somebody mind telling me just what the frigging hell is going on here. What letter?.. What 'after'?.. How did you know she hadn't got a phone anymore?...." She started to pace, hands to her head as they watched her go up and then down. They could see how mad she was getting.
"...Why would she be phoning you Micheal?.." Then stopping she turned to look at them both, eyes wide.
"You knew where she was." She moved in, only looking at him now. "YOU KNEW WHERE SHE WAS ALL THIS TIME AND YOU NEVER TOLD US...." She was now poking him hard in the chest, pushing him backwards.
"How could you do something like that Michael, not say when all that other shit was going on, you're done some pretty bad..."
Liz stopped her mid-sentence, now standing beside her.

"I told him not to..its my fault not his..."

"SHUT UP.." She spat out at her as she now looked upon her.
"DON'T even get me started on you girl." Liz jumped as Maria was now hounding her.
"You can't just come back here like nothings happened, you don't get to do that Liz....." She was finding it hard to breathe, all of it now hitting home hard.

"Maria." He stepped towards her.

"NO!" She stepped away, looking to anybody that she was about to cry. He went to lean towards her when she looked up at Liz, who was standing alone, shaking, eyes wide and shinning over. She couldn't help but let a faint smile break at the sight of her.
"Liz..." Her voice behrly audiable as she slowly opened up her arms to her. Liz hesitated for like a millisecond, as she said her name too almost reaching her when Josh came in.

"Liz, everything okay?" All three now looking at him, one of them taking a minute to take in how much he reminded her of somebody else. Tall, dark, kinda fit looking, big eyes which were only on her, filled with concern for only Liz. It wasn't but if she didn't know any better he looked like Max. Liz pulled away from reaching out in Maria instantly, to them start to walk to him.

"Yes, I'm fine but I thought you were staying in the car?"
Her voice uneasy as she was now beside him. He smiled.

"I was , but they meter was running and I know you're worth it and all but I've only got so much cash on me." He was now laughing as her face broke too.

"Ohhhhh..sorry about that." She smile alittle wider. Then he lightly touched her arm, as she then moved away from under it. He looked over her shoulder to the audience that they had, looking back to her.

"Could wait outside.."

"That'll be good for starters." They both looked towards Michael now, as he frowned hard at her. "I can't believe you brought HIM too, Liz, when you know this isn't gonna help Max." He was staring Josh down still, as he moved away from Maria.

"No Hello Josh, how are you?" His voice hard as he felt Liz move away from him.

"Yeah right did I miss something here, are we friends now?" His tone harder.

"No..I make it a rule not to associate with guttertrash or losers, which you are neither..being above you and all." Maria's head was spinning as she reached for her oil that was inside of her apron.
"Shit!" She muttered as she saw it was empty. This was not good as she stole a glance to where Liz was standing. But she wasn't looking back, eyes wide to what was unfolding in front of her as Michael was now walking towards Josh hands now by his sides, slightly fisting. Liz knew something like that was coming so she now stood between them, but they still kept on coming.

"Hey, this is not the time for a pissing contest. Get over it.." She was going to go on when the door rang open, nearly off its hindges to reveal a very flushed, out of breath Kyle.

"LIZ?" Was his first word out as he saw her, a smile forming in amoungst confusion, quickly snapping himself round to look at Michael, there was no time to catch up let alone question. He was still trying to catch his breath, losing all the while. Michael was away from them, already towards the door.

"What's wrong with Max Kyle?" Michael knew instantly, that was the only crisis that they were dealing with right now.

"He's freaking... out again..... its really bad this time Michael.....He's never been like this...." He was bending over himself to see if that helped, it didn't. Michael put a hand on his back.

"Where is he?"

"He's at the quarry....Isabel's with him....but he's not...not even letting her near him.....we gotta go NOW!"
The boys were at the door, Maria watching Liz as she then followed. Michael stopped to look back.

She was already running as he spoke, Josh was slowly walking behind her when Michael stretched out his arm to him.
"YOU! STAY!" Josh kept coming then having to stop as Michael blocked his path.
"Didn't you hear me, are you deaf as well as stupid?"
He leaned in. "I'll say it just one..more..time..slowly so you'll get it...s t a y h e r e or..." Josh cut him off.

"Or what? Your gonna hurt me? Ohhhh I'm really scared" He laughed in his face. "I'm coming. End of story now MOVE before you live to regret it"
The others stopped, looking nervously at Michael, who was now smirking. Liz went to say something but he held his hand up to her, she stopped. Michael leaned into Josh so he could hear him better, he was only going to say this once.

"You know nothing about that your messing with here, boy. Now STAY AWAY, your not welcome here before you DON'T live to regret it. End of fact!"
And with that they were all gone, Liz not speaking or looking once at Josh the whole time.


You like?
Should I?
FB Please!

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 17-Oct-2001 5:45:06 AM ]
posted on 17-Oct-2001 5:42:35 AM
Hey you,

Thanx so much for all the FB so far *big*, loving it *bounce*.

Kristina- Hi Babe, wondered when you'd get here!!! So I know what you think (phew I wasn't sure if you'd like seeing as though its for u). Anyways I know I said it was to be a happy story and it will be *big*(you already know it from your posting..that,s EXACTLY how its gonna go girly).It looks alittle grim now *sad* but trust me *angel*, the healing starts part 3 *bounce*. As for Josh you always need someone to hate right? *happy*
As for Max needing her, what you said will come right now he just NEEDS her fullstop! BTW now was last night's eppy...go on make me soooo jealous.x

Belevndreamstoo- Hi ya, *bounce*, missed you *sad*, glad your here *big*. You were right about Max and the corner thing but you'll hear more on that later. You were also spot on about why he didn't say it too. But why? Wait & see *tongue*. You liked the journal bit then, that and the letter coming real soon *happy*.you'll find out about Liz and Josh soon. As for Max going green..eventually? Read it and weep, he won't how what's hit him. Why he needs her to start with coming in part 3 *bounce*. How was last night's...give me alittle sugar please!!!!Yes this is 4 u too.x

Angelbaby6977- *big* you liked it. They are only friends but does he know that? As for what he saved her from, it's coming babe. *bounce*x

Jull_ana- Hi *big* sorry you're lost though *sad*. Quick run though. She was away almost a yr. The letter from Max is coming, and you'll see why he needs her in part 3.
The crashdown has changed but she doesn't know why yet. As for Maria, Liz dropped everything to go, not thinking about phoning but she hasn't spoken to anyone but Michael in that year. Why and how on the way. Hope that explained things alittle more. If not let me know kay! *big* you like.

Luvroswell26- Firstly..I TOTALLY L O V E your picture *bounce**sigh* I've been staring at it for ages. Thanx for reading and leaving it..its soooo dreamy, you're an *angel*. Anyways I'm *big* that your hooked already.
It will be explained real soon about Liz & Josh, and I don't like him either no matter what he says. More on that later. As for Maxiebaby, its in part 3.

Thanx again for reading and leaving, hopefully see you after you read pt2,3,4,5,6, get the picture?
Bye for now.

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 17-Oct-2001 6:47:07 AM ]
posted on 17-Oct-2001 6:43:18 AM
For J
Hey babe...I ment ' what you thought about the eppy on tv last night'...sorry!!!!*sad*.
'cus I can't see it till next year, remember. was it????
posted on 17-Oct-2001 7:25:58 PM
Hey you,
Thanx for all your FB, B I G *big*.

AvengingAngelIQ- *big*to have reeled!!! As for choice of fruit *bounce*!!x

J- Thanx soooo much 4 the rundown, your an *angel* as well as a lifesaver. Your rambles make me *big*. As 4 'BTU' I hope it does you.x

Angelbaby6977- Mickey and Josh? It's coming, so's Part 3 as you asked. Hope you like *big*.x

Crazy 4 Max- *sad*to confuse, *big* to excite!!!Hubbie's been looking after Sam so I'm on a major roll here *happy*. What happened to Liz?...on the way. Gotta get over the present, to get to the past, to enjoy the future *bounce*.x

Rainqueen- Mind those keys, break the machine than what will you do? Josh is the guy that your just gonna love to hate here *happy*. Michael did know all along, but theres a reason for it *tongue*. Begin to understand in part 3.

Alien614- *big* your view on Josh. Michael has been such an *angel* to Liz this past yr, pity Maria and the others won't see it that way *sad*.

Jull_ana- I know what you mean *big* this boards sooo addictive *bounce*, like one big family!!! Don't get too *sad*about S3, *big*or*sad* I won't get to see till next year. Major *sad*. But this, my other fic and reading others get me though just fine *bounce*.*big* your not confused anymore.

K- Downloaded, seen, *bounce*. Thanx, your no.1 *angel*. But did you like part 2? didn't say *sad*. Anyway on a roll before I have to go. See you soon babe *big**bounce**big*.x

Strawbehrry Shortcake- *bounce* your intrigued. As 4 Max and Liz bits in posting yes and Y E S!!x

Elemenopy- Hi *bounce* I'm now in your faves. Big *big*...see!!

Very *big* & *bounce* you like. The pain and separation will be short & sweet then the fun R E A L L Y begins*big*. Part 3 next *bounce*.
Bye for now *happy*

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 17-Oct-2001 7:34:00 PM ]
posted on 17-Oct-2001 10:28:06 PM
~Part 3~

"W H A T?" He snapped as he caught her glaring at him again, as she drove.

"So just WHEN were you gonna tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"Well.... let me see, where to start hmmmm either at 'you knew where she was all the time' you heartless bastard or my personal favorite 'who the hell is this Josh guy' who I don't trust as far as I could spit already.when they had gotten married or had kids?When Michael? and why the hell were you about to kick off at him like you knew him or sumin'....." Her eyes now were wide.
"You've been to see Liz haven't you....jesus you sonofabitch, that's how came you know him, right?!"
He wasn't looking at her now, sure sign she was right.
He snapped his head round to face her.

" I said.. tell you what exactly?"

"Ohhhh your in sooooo much shit with me already Guerin, you would not believe just how much I wanna bust your ass wide open right now, so DON'T even go there!"
She exhaled hard, shaking ever-so slightly. He wasn't still answering, he knew she hated to be ignored, which wound her up even more.
"H E L L O.. how could you not tell us where Liz was...after everything that has happened...after everything we've been through...and Max..god Michael how could you let him go through all that shit about his son connecting with him, needing his help because his mother was hurting him, telling him the way home...then..."
He was looking at her then, eyes wide.

"Shut up Maria."
He barked both asking her and pleading her at the same time. Too late.

"What about Max?.. what about going home?...WHAT?" Liz making herself known for the first time from the backseat, head now in between their seats. Her voice sounding in total panic, eyes worse looking back and forth between them both.
Maria only had eyes for him, totally ignoring the road and bend ahead till Kyle gently reminded her.

"Bend coming, in car right now Maria, time to be looking ahead....about now would be good."
He was amazed that the car stayed upright.

"SHIT." She then looked straight back at Michael.
"She doesn't know does she Michael?...god this is bad...this is really bad. How could you get her here and not tell her?" Maria shook her head, hitting the steering wheel alittle harder this time.
"God you've done some pretty dumbass things in the past but this takes..."

"What about Max?" She was almost begging, clawing at the seats.
Michael turned to her then, seeing how tightly she now held onto the pentant, knuckles now white eyes shining over fast. Swallowing down hard he then spoke.

"Look Liz...Max hasn't been..."

"OHHHH SHIT!" Both Maria and Kyle uttering at the same time.
"Explaination not needed here Michael, me thinks she'll beable to see for herself just now Max has been!"

"What you tripping on now girl....OH SHIT!"
Michael was already opening the door to get to him, with the car still moving. Liz heard the bolts hit even before she turned her head and saw them hit. She caught her next breath before it left her at what her eyes where now giving her. The car emptied as soon as it stopped yet she was still in it, not moving. Her body wouldn't let her function properly, only giving her breath when her lungs were fit to burst. It was then that she heard him cry out and then her legs were also carrying her so fast over to where there all the choas was radiating from, from where the bolts of green shot out and across the gap, hitting the far walls. Only to stop short behind the wall of bodies that were Michael, Maria and Kyle, her body giving up on her again. She then heard Isabel's voice from front of them, sounding so tired and scared.

"Max listen to me...this isn't helping, Can't you see that?" Isabel was still trying to get a hold of him, only to fail as he smacked her hand away. She was at a loss, the last hour finally taking its toll on her, as Max cried out some unearthly sound again then sending out another bolt. Her was now shaking so hard, reaching out for him again.
"Max please...would you just stop...please!"
Her head as now in her hands as Kyle finally drew her into her arms. She was now crying hard, hitting fists on his back. He only squeezed her tighter. She then opened her eyes, pulling back to what she saw. With Kyle having moved there was a space that Liz now filled. Isabel had to doubled take, pulling right away, mouth and eyes stuck wide open. The two species held each others gaze, in a stand off position as Isabel finally moved towards her.

"What's SHE doing here?" Her eyes behring down hard on Liz as she got even closer.
"She doesn't belong here, she doesn't wanna be here..she's made that perfectly clear." She was now towering above Liz's smaller frame, eyes of fire.
"and she's no longer welcome here....." She was interupted by Max's wail behind her that told them otherwise.


Liz's wide, tear filled eyes were now peering over Isabel's shoulder, unconciously standing on tip-toe to see more.
She could now see the back of his head and down to his broad (now voilently shaking shoulders), her heart soared, feeling alive for the first time in a long time. She had to see more. Michael then spoke.

"You were saying?" Was all that needed to be said.

Liz took one last glance at Isabel as she then slowly side stepped her, able to see the whole of the back of Max for the first time. She felt dizzy, unable to breathe as her legs whobbled beneath her, still taking baby steps, so near yet still too far. Her heart was now threatening to explode right out of her chest, finding it near on impossible to breathe now. Her world was beginning to tilt not knowing what to do next, still taking baby steps one after the other after the other. That being the only thing she knew to do-the only thing she wanted to do. Be near him! She would then jump to a holt when he would move suddenly or when he shot out the next cry or bolt, only to have her body continue to make her take baby steps. Closer and closer, till she could almost reach out and touch him. She so wanted to say something, desperately needing to say anything at that point. But nothing was coming as she reached out a shaky hand to touch at his shoulder, almost finding home before he fell hard to the ground while calling out to her again. She now stood over him, helpless to his needs as he began to rock back and forth on the dirt, his legs now tucked up tight under his chin. His arms now wrapped tightly around them, head nestled into them. She was shaking so hard, feeling that she would blackout at any moment. She saw his shoulders shake harder as she heard him begin to cry, her tears now joining his. Her hand reached out again, as she bent over slightly, for his head. She hesitated for only a second before she leant in further, her hand now lightly resting on his crown. He seemed to stop moving instantly.


He spoke so quietly that only she could hear then leaning into her hand slightly, not looking up. That's when her legs gave way and she fell to her knees beside him, breaking the contact. Max moved on his forearms, beginning to rock again.


He moaned. Her mouth was so dry that she had to try to speak again.

"max." She swallowed down hard.

She stammmered as she was slowly reaching out for his arm, closing her eyes to it when flesh finally touched flesh. It was then that he slowly lifted up his head, as eyes finally coming to rest upon her. What he saw almost knocked the life out of him, she was there! Eyes now wide he pulled up completely, and away from her on his hands and ass, his eye contact with her never breaking. She snapped open her eyes to the sudden space that he'd now left beside her, their eyes meeting for the first time in reality for almost a year: They'd both dreamt of them constantly throughout that time apart. He stopping moving away as he tilted his head slightly to look at her, still shaking uncontrollably yet still not daring to speak. She was the same but she'd now started to move slowly towards him, he shook his head alittle. She then stopped just inches from his leg, sitting back on her heels, their eye contact never breaking once. He was relentlessly searching her eyes, as hers followed his move for move. He slowly got to his knees also, both still shaking unable to breathe at the closeness that they now shared. A single tear now rolled down his cheek as he finally found the word and breath to speak.

He ever-so slowly let his hand move away from him and towards her. She did the same as she could only find one word to say.


They instantly stopped shaking as he found her, crawling up and encircling her hard round the waist. She clawed at his back as he pulled her tighter still, he was squeezing the life out of her as the tears fell. But that was the thing, at that moment they felt more alive than they'd ever been, that they were breathing again...finding that air to breath in each others arms. All their pain suddenly now gone. They were home!
After what seemed like an eternity, they pulled apart, shaking and crying for different reasons as Max put his hands either side of her face, then letting them fist her hair into bunches. She exhaled hard as her face then broke into a smile, eyes shining bright. Her was reaching up to his face as she finally found words.


She was stopped by him, now smiling too, both now looking like they had done in the beginning - like nothing had happened between them in the last 4 years. The look saying it all. He was now feverishly touching her, he couldn't not touch her, at her cheeks and mouth as if to stop her from talking. His amber eyes burning so bright as he began leaning in as if to kiss her, closing his eyes to her then. He WAS going to kiss her, they could now feel each others breath on their skin and the heat from their bodies as she also laid her hands down either side of his face. Her moist mouth slightly apart ready to willingly give and recieve his, they had to do this -nothing else mattered but this. Closer, closer still, lips caressingly close, to then brush against each other... almost there when... suddenly pain tore through their bodies flinging them into the blinding flashes as the visions, their lives, then ripped through them both....

Hope you like? *big* Should I go on? *bounce*.

4 K- Bumping nicely Thanx babe!*bounce*

[ edited 4 time(s), last at 20-Oct-2001 3:55:48 AM ]
posted on 20-Oct-2001 8:11:50 AM
Hey You,

As always FB 1st.
Part 4 next..........

Angelbaby6977- Flashes explained what's been happening in the past year alittle better and it all kicks off part 4. Happy U like*big*.x

Strawbehrry Shortcake- Visions will be both good and bad but their all there 4 a reason. As 4 that 'trailertrashbi**h''ll just how 2 wait and see.x

Jull_ana- How's the school work coming on?...who needs that when there's Rossie 2 be had. I'm very *big* that I make U smile, even though you say that you'll kill me if I don't go on! No fear of that happening then Phewwww!!
I have a REAL problem with S2 *sad**sad* but S3 (eyes hurting bigtime from those tiny clip screens) is starting 2 get me alittle more *bounce*.x

Omby- The heck I will babe *big*. This will be a very emotional fic so hang on. As 4 the Liz & Josh connection....its in the 1st flash of Part 4. As will news of my *angel* Max.x

Luvroswell26- *sad*2 stop there but I'm on my way with afew more answers. Basically Liz is Max's balance (more on that later). As 4 Mickey G and this space BIGTIME *bounce*. Liz hasn't spoken 2 anyone in Roswell except 4 Michael so they're all rightly pissed off....until they find out why!!! *big* you like enough to still post me my fave. pic....EVER!!!*bounce*. Your an *angel*!!!x

AvengingAngelIQ- What no Watermelons Babe??? *bounce*you're along 4 the ride.x

Scifinut111- Hi and Soooo many questions...I LOVE IT!!*big*.Liz and Josh will be explained alittle further in part4(good pick up on the phone by the way *happy*). The flashes, both physically and emotionally draining are there 2 help them heal, why and how?...Wait and see!!x

Crazy 4 Max- It will get more soon. More flashes. Yummies start ,M&L, soon! Hurrying back babe!!x

J- They should have loads more smiley's Babe. Why U shocked ? Hope U like where this is is your's after all *big**big*. Bye 4 now sweetie *bounce*.

K- Hi Honey, loved your rambling sooooo much *big**big*. This is soooooo your story 'cus your idea's were spot on (give and take alittle). That is just too spooky!!!
Hope U like part 4. See U later!!!
BTW *bounce* 4 next part of yours 'cus I just know it's gonna rock like mad!x

YOUR ALL *angel* 's 4 READING & LEAVING!!!
Makes me *big* bigtime!!
Part 4 hopefully today, depending on Sam.
Bye 4 now.
posted on 20-Oct-2001 9:04:47 PM
Part 4

*Visions then take hold *

"Liz please get down from there...this isn't funny anymore Babe."
His voice shaky as he lurched out for her again as she whobbled from where she now balanced high at the waters edge. She giggled harder as she out stretched her arms, in order to steady herself only to fall down on the ledge again when the vodka bottle that was clutched firmly in one hand unbalanced her. She giggled again as she shook her head.

"I keep telling you...we may study together and this maybe of first...." She stopped spluttering to frown.
"..what ever the hell this is but I'm not your Babe."
She now sat down, heavily, legs dangling free as she took another long swig from the now nearly empty bottle.
"And your right ..this whole thing is far from funny, it's tragic." She spat out as she gritted her teeth at the taste, it no longer burning her throat, she'd drunk that much. She closed her eyes as the cold night air hit her bang on the face, blowing her air into different directions as she world began spinning again.

"Okay Liz whatever you say...." Now taking baby steps towards her.
"but isn't this alittle extreme, if you didn't want to go out with me you could have just said, jumping off a bridge is a fine way to end a date."
He thought he was helping, his hands up high as he took another step towards her. She flinched from him, pushing herself up again way too fast. She felt herself waver and shake as the alcolhol and night air were relentlessly taking its toll on her already broken body. She felt herself rock forward then back then forward again each time flinging herself more off balance, unable to steady herself as she fell down into the ledge, harder this time. He broke into a ran in order to get to her.

Her arm out stretched to him, palm begging him not to come any closer. She shook her throbbing head from side to side as the tears, that had threatened to all night, finally spilled over. He stopped, now only afew feet away from where she now rocked back and forth, knees tightly pulled up under her chin, amazed that she hadn't fallen off yet, the need to get her down from there the only thought he had.Still hadn't lost his chance that she'd fall as she whobbled again, almost too far this time.

He cried out, moving towards her, arms before him. She tilted her head of slowly to one side as she then smiled.He looked so much like Max, she'd never noticed till then.

"Don't look so worried Max, I'm fine don't worry about me." Her eyes and lips then breaking into a smile, with a look that he'd never seen before. As if she thought he was someone else, somewhere else.

"I'm Josh Liz, who's Max?" His voice hard, angry at the way that she now looked at him while thinking he was someone else, he unclenched his hands as she then came back to reality

"Of course your not Max you would never break my heart, tearing it from me as you told me that it was all a lie that I meant nothing to you from the beginning..." She was now beginning to tremble as it felt no longer cold, her words becoming all the more strangled but leaning forward to continue.
"then to throw it away, only to stamp it into nothing over and over again..." She said in a voice that didn't sound like hers, still crying, not looking at him.
"...then proving just how little I'd meant to him by writing it all down in a letter..." She laughed out loud.
"A letter for christ sake, after everything I'd given him, given up for him."
She was finding it so hard to breathe as her world began to tilt into black. She shook it off before it could take a hold of her. Josh shook his head to her, not understanding anything, daring to then speak.

"This MAX, is he from home, from Roswell, from the life that you don't speak of that haunts you so?" He saw her eyes peer out from above her arms, what little sparkle they had now well and truly gone. She said and did nothing.
"Tell me Liz, you can talk to me..." He took afew more ohh soo careful baby steps forward, his eyes filled with concern. She swallowed down hard, he looked so much like Max, she noticed that for the first time. It made her chuckle at now stupid this whole thing was.
"..I want to help you. Talk to me." His words now a heart felt plea as he came closer still. She shook her head as she sat blot up right. Her sudden movement made him jump to a halt.

"But that's just it your talking to a dead person?" He frowned as she found the strength to stand.

"I should be dead right now." She smiled at his confusion.
"Today's september 19th right?" He could only nod as she looked down into the murky icy depths of the river below her.
"This is my anniversary Josh, three years ago today I died." She tore herself away from the waves and back to him.
"So I thought I'd celebrate." She flung her arms open, laughing out loud again. " By raising a glass to Max Evans for saving my life that day, wanting to thank him ohh soo much for making this second chance such a crock of shit that I choke on it every day. Waking up wishing that I hadn't, dreaming about a life that I can never have with every single waking moment..." She was now striding up and down the ledge, hands on her head, rubbing furiously at it.

"Liz, I don't understand?"

"Your not supposed, no-one is because it was never meant to be, I was never meant to be, these last 3 years nothing but a lie." She stopped sharply to look back on him.
"So I thought I'd drink to my wonderful life...." She looked down at the waves again, as she then smiled.
"But its down there, I guess I shouldn't waste it." She was peering over the edge, her eyes getting lost in the ripples that now seemed like home to her. She leant alittle more forward as she reached for the pendant that had been gently knocking against her neck all night. All the time. She'd miss that feeling around her neck, that feeling of Max always with her. But he wasn't there, he hadn't been there for along time, now he would never be there. She could no longer see below her, see anything as her sight was blurred by her tears once more. She took another step forward, not many left now. Josh was calling out to her, but she could hear him as all she could hear and see was Max's voice, telling her words of love, seeing his face while they were in the van that time. Her favorite memory of them...of him, the only one that she wanted to take with her. She didn't hear him rush towards, reaching for her as she then heard the voice rip through her..

Next flash hit.....

Max felt it too, only the words were different. He'd been in his room, reading her last journal entry over and over again. Wiping away the tears, shaking out of control as this time he was going to make the call, booking the flight that would take him home. Take him to her. Take him to Liz. He never made the call as he heard his son cry out to him pleading with him to make them stop, that it hurt so bad. They were hurting him so much as his mother watched, her hurting him the most. Begging his father to come for him, trying to tell him how to but then he was gone....Max hitting the floor as his son was torn away from him.

Then the next.....

She'd heard the little boy's voice, call out to her, pleading for her to go to his father. He needed her so much, he'd been in so much pain without her. He needed her to be with him to beable to save him. She was his balance, she.....then the voice was gone, Max's son was gone. She felt Josh grab her hard as she almost fell over the edge as she then pulled herself away from the waters edge, fully awake now, not going to do this tonight. She was not going to do that again period! Then the visions were blurred, muddled as there was her pain and raised voices, as if she and Josh were now fighting. She then fell over and into the icy darkness below, after Josh had pushed her over the edge that is, into the water below....

*Flashes end*


Maria shouted out to him as he hit the ground hard with the force of the shield's pulse as it threw him back and away.
"SHIT somebody do something!"

She was frantic as the haze that had gulfed Max and Liz glowed all the more. Their eyes were tightly shut as they clung into each other, not moving. Isabel then rushed forward as they flung themselves apart, the glowing shield now gone. Their eyes opened almost at once that the loss of contact with each other, breathing so painful that both thought they were dying. The need for each other now painful. Max srambled to his feet, finding the energy from somewhere to scoop her upto meet him, able to form some sort of exsistance first as the pain instantly stopped, followed by everything else inside of them calming down in an instant.


He eyes relentlessly searching hers, hers matching his every move as he clawed at her arms. She put a finger to his lips as if to stop him from saying anymore.

"Hold me Max...please?"
She knew she had no right to ask but it felt like it was most natural thing to say, the only thing to say. She was suddenly scared but she need not have been as
he was way ahead of her, already there, pulling her in tighter still. She'd asked him to hold her, even after he'd been so cruel to her before.His head was spunning so fast but not in pain like before but because she was there. Then he dared to do something that he'd only dreamed about this past year, when he was able to sleep that was as he gently lay a kiss on the crown of her head. She didn't pull away only squeezing him harder. It didn't break till Isabel spoke.

"What was that Max?" She said breathlessly, voice now full of confusion.

"We can still have flashes?...after everything that has happened between us."
She sounded so amazed by this but she was also strangely affaid. She got even more so when he was still only looking at Liz, pulling her away from him as he placed his hands either side of her face and into her hair.

"Are you okay?" She nodded as he smiled. Then she came back with a bump as she remembered what she saw, what they both saw. Eyes wider when she remembered Josh but he was on longer important now, if indeed he ever was.

"Max...I didn't want you to know any of that...I.."
She stammered, letting her head fall, unable to look at him now he knew. Still she let her hands gently travel up and down his arms, affaid he'd disappear if the contact broke, as they let the warm from each other get in and spread through their bodies, but her eyes were now tightly shut.

"Look at me Liz"
His heartfelt plea making her do exactly what he asked her to as ohh so slowly,now starting to whimper alittle as her eyes met his. She saw him shake his head lightly, his eyes and face smiling all the more as she began to feel the tears forming.

"Shhhh Liz.Your came back. That's all that matters now"
His thumbs now rubbing across her cheeks as her eyes, now open, drew him in all the more. He pulled her into him, resting his face beside hers, closing his eyes as he felt her breath hit his cheek. She went to speak, needing to tell him...warn him but he stopped her again.

"We need to talk.But not here."
He whispered, his breath doing things to her also. She could only nod as Isabel spoken again.

"There there all better now." All eyes snapped onto her as she began to kick off.

"Not now Isabel."
Was Max's reply, as he still only looked at Liz. He turned, taking Liz's hand in his and squeezing once there as they began to walk away from them.

"Are you even listening to me Max?"
She stormed after them, the others following behind. She reached out to pull him back, never getting there as he moved away and down fast, catching Liz in his strong already there arms before she hit the ground....


Should I go on??
Let me know what you think! *happy*

[ edited 14time(s), last at 22-Oct-2001 12:53:56 PM ]
posted on 22-Oct-2001 10:07:45 AM

Your all*angel*'s 4 FB. Here's mine back at ya!!!

Alien614- What things that Max said? Your confusing me now Babe. Tell me what else and I'll explain *big*x

Honeybee-Why so confused sweetie? Let me know and I'll hepl U out. Loved the Icon by the way *bounce*x

Abbs007- Hi. *big*you've found it and loved it. And they will get LOADS more time together he*wink*he*wink*he!

AvengingangelIQ- Wouldn't expect anything less from you girly girl!! And Michael wants to blast Josh into a billion pieces, not block him. Hopefully he'll get the opportunity soon *bounce**bounce**bounce*x

Scifinut111- It was *sad* to write but its all there 4 a reason. Josh 'thinks' he's a boyfriend. Issie doesn't know about what's been happening to Liz. Liz told Michael not to say. And Liz is Max's only hope to he is for her. More on that later *bounce*.

Jull_ana- WOW yourself babe!!! In answer to your question she was pushed in by Josh (shock smiley here!!!) and then he saved her hmmmmm. But she doesn't remember that, she doesn't remember alot of things (but Max is there now to help her remember hehehe).
BTW you crack me up about the homeworkx

Jeannie- Your FB made me *big*soooooo much. And I made you cry again *sad*. Sorry sweetie. The letter is coming so are lots of other yummies besides *bounce*.
*big* that you loved the whole connection between Max, Liz and babe...kind like a family hmmmmmm more on that later. And of course all they have to do it look into each others eyes and it all to be okay again. This is MAX & LIZ. It may take awhile but trust me kay!!!!x

Kristina- Babe totally love your rambles but am I missing something here???Max hasn't gone home, he can't find the way home. I read back over it and I can't see that in it. U know I love yeah right but what are you tripping on & can I have some too hehehe!! Basically he's guilty about his son and liz, how hes handled everything and he can't handle it anymore. Then liz comes back with tons of bagguage and a tw*t like Josh. They obvoiusly have made a mistake by being apart but why continue it for a year and why did she could back after everything hmmmmm surely something more has happened than just aletter right? Hell yeah!!!Hope U like where your story is going nextx

Thanx 4 reading & leaving. Part 5 on the way!!
Bye 4 now *bounce**bounce**bounce*

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 22-Oct-2001 1:05:37 PM ]
posted on 23-Oct-2001 3:20:20 AM
Hey 2 all readers & leavers out there,

Angelbaby6977- A hard year...U can say that again. Liz has also had major problems. Having 2 cope with the content of Max's letter (which U were right about BTW) and her own life ( and U were so right about Josh too) but the bottom line is, now they should start to realize that it's better together than apart, right and not just 4 our star crossed lovers ( last part hopefully someday *sigh**happy*).x

Omby- Why confused Babe? *shy*(meant 2 be shock, concern smiley) Liz has indeed fainted and Isabel needs a good slapping you think? All will hopefully become alittle clearer in next part 'cus it's on the way *big*.x

Strawbehrry Shortcake- You'll find out why the end of part 5 *happy*. As for the drowning part, she changed her mind after hearing Max's son( you like the twist then, more on that later) but fell in anyway hmmmmm or was she pushed? OMG *shy*(shockface).
Josh is gonna be so hateworthy its not true *bounce*.
Liked your idea about Issie, but there's method in her madness.x

Scifinut111- Loved all your rambles very much..made me
*big* bigtime. Some of the Michael & Josh stuff will be in part 5. Why they know each other and why he so wants to blast him into a billion pieces. There is more to Liz coming home (after the year that they 've all had) then just the note from Mickey G hmmmmm.As 4 their reaction to her, they've heard nothing in almost a year so their alittle pissed right now. With Maria she's as ditzy as ever and she can't be as angry at her best mate as she'd like *bounce*(meant 2 be pissed off smiley).The letter was brutal *sad*but there's a reason for everything right? Hope this clears up afew things *happy*
and that I get lots more after next part *big*x

Rainqueen- Loved your idea about Isabel Babe *big* but can U read minds or something 'cus if U can than I'm in trouble!!! It always gives me that warm & fuzzy feeling that, no happen what's happened between them, all M&L have to do is be with each other again and U just know its gonna be okay *big**big*so why should it by any different here? Hope you'll stay 4 the journey *bounce*x

Kristina- Of course U are Babe*big**big**big**big**big*
looking forward 2 lots more after next part!!!!

Hope U all like the next part too. Bye 4 now.
posted on 23-Oct-2001 8:23:55 AM
Part 5


Maria's mouth the first to move as she and Michael burst into through the emergency room doors first then stopping to hold them wide open as Max rushed in with Liz curled high up in his arms, head tucked in low to his chest with her limbs lifelessly dangling down around them. Kyle was close behind as Isabel just wandered in last, seemingly unmoved by all the choas that was unfolding around them.
A nurse buzzed for another doctor as more were already milling around them.

"What's her name?"
One asked Max again but he said nothing, not even noticing that he was being spoken to, as the doctor reached out for her. Max snapped his eyes up as he pulled them away, holding onto her harder, his eyes wide and raw from crying.

"We NEED to check her what's her name?" He asked again, the urgentency in his voice at her situation there for all to hear.
Still nothing. He now was starting to pull alittle on Liz for Max to let her go, stopping when he saw the look he was now getting from Max, knowing he was going to lose this one.

"liz..Elizabeth Parker...s.s...she's gonna be okay right?" Maria was now spluttering beside them, Max looking back at her, more and more like he needed to be admitted as well.

"I don't know till you tell me what happened here?" He now was pushing Max to where they needed to go.
"This way....put her down over here." He motioned to the bed closest. Max gently lowered her onto it, cupping at her neck last, as he rested her head down on the pillow;his eyes never leaving hers, his hands still on her.
A nurse pushing him away with her back as she squeezed in between them both. Her friends had all fanned out close around them, Isabel stood back still as
Liz was now being surrounded by noisy equippment and bodies as Max was pushed further back away from her. He was trembling harder now there was space between them, she'd been held tightly in his arms since catching her as she fainted at the quarry, contact never breaking even while scooping her up or the whole car journey (the ride now available at Disney thanx to Maria's driving abilities...not)to the hospital as she sat on his lap. He'd been couldn't help her, being unable to connect with her while she was unconcious. He was taking shaky baby- steps towards her, eyes widening as his head moved from side to side everytime his view of her was blocked by another body walking past, breath shallow heart beating whenever she came back into view. His head throbbed as he heard their muddled account of what happened to her, easy enough. She was fine one minute, collapsing the next, now looking to anyone that she was dead. But the bleeping of the machines told them otherwise. He vaguely heard someone say to contact her family and thatthey couldn't all be in there. He was almost home, taking more steps towards the bed as he felt somebody push hard on his chest, backing him away. He snapped out of it in order to fight the strangers off, his hands pushing theirs away as he now reached out for Liz from beside them, finally speaking.

He was pushing harder, able to take them all on and not break into a sweat.

"Leave me alone....liz....get off me...LIZ..."

His fight back in full swing, his heartfelt plea broken as he reached out further to her. This easily turning very nasty, very quickly if Michael hadn't have butted in to help his friend.

"LEAVE HIM....kyle." Both men now beside Max, pulling him away from the others that were surrounding him.
"Easy Maxwell..." He had a hold of one arm, kyle the other as they steered him towards the door, Max still pulling hard as he peered back over his shoulder at her. Michael grip tighehed.
"You can't help her like this.They can." Max's body calmed, knowing he was right as they crashed through, Max's neck still straining round to look back, vision now blocked as the doors swung closed.


"So tell me again Michael, explain it better so I can understand because right now I'm having a hard time dealing without wanting to break your face."
Maria spat out as she now began to pace up and down in front of where he was now sitting, arms high above her head. He leant back up, sitting back hard in his seat again as he watched her walk then seeing the look on Kyle and Isabel's face who also wanted to understand.

"Look I'll speak slower so you can all understand kay...." Now cut off by Isabel's harsh tone.

"Don't get smart Michael or I'll bust your face and it will hard if I do it." She was staring him down from where she across from him, next to Max who hadn't looked up or spoken since he'd been plonked down there by Michael and Kyle. He was leaning forward on his thighs, eyes only on what his fingers where still rubbing against which was clasped tightly in his hands. Liz's pendant. It had snapped off in his hand as he caught her from falling, it had been there ever since. He was flipping it over and over round and round in his shaky hands as another tear splashed to the ground, still unable to properly take in what it meant. She'd been wearing what he'd given her so long ago around her neck, that fact alone making his tummy do flip-flops but what was affecting him the most was that she'd even want to after everything that had happened between them....after his letter. His eyes closing tight, wanting to puke at the rememberance of it, nearly suceeding if there had had been anything in there to do it with. He shook all the more as he remembered every word as if he'd written it that day instead of almost a year ago. Two people died that day, it writer and his heart who later opened and read it.


How do you begin, where do you find the words to tell someone that everything that she thought was true had been a lie from the beginning. That what she was feeling was heartfelt and true enough but not for me, I'd only be lying again if I said it was, and I can't lie to you anymore Liz. I wish I could say that I'd loved you at some point in all of this but I can't think of a time that it came even remotely close to that.the truth is my heart always belonged to Ava, and when tess cameit was plain to see. We belonged together...we still do and this is why I'm trying so hard to get home.To get back to our beautiful son, a sign of our undying love for each other there for all to see,but so I can hold her in my arms once more. GodI miss her so much, I miss how she felt under my skin, the smell of her halr, her smile, the way she
looked at me, how she made me feel after each time we made love but I have my dreams for that now and she's in them every night over and over. I curse the day that I let her go, which I blame you for Liz parker. You were able to get close to the humanside of me, close enough to waken it and make me forget of awhile what was
important to me. Tess,only ever Tess and my true side, the alien in me. Making me feel sorry for Alex's death, blaming her when she was only ever protecting us. Giving up and doing everything for Michael, Isabel and me, what have you ever had to give up, nothing. You humans makes me sick for making me feel like you, I would rather die than be anything like you. Everything was fine till you came into my life and I chose stupidly enough to save you that day, following the human in me that day, regretting it ever since. I wish I'd been stronger that day and not gotten up from that chair, in
doing so changing my life into something that was never meant to be. I should have let you die that day and then none of this would have ever happened, your to blame for it all. Alex's death ,why we're all spending every waking moment trying to find a way home and why I don't have my wife and baby with me now. I'm dying without them, can't you see that? You say you want to help me, you've shown me that you want to help me. Having to lie to you, let you kiss me, having you touch me,play at being human, a small price to pay? You would think so but it made me so sick that by the end I couldn't even stand to look at you, be anywhere near you. I'm not coming to see you off Liz, even if it is the happiest day of my life because I don't trust my human side anymore when I'm around you. You don't get to see me like that again Liz, ever, I'd die first. So you'll get this care of Isabel,who was right about you all along. So goodbye Liz Parker enjoy the life I gave you, the life that you were never meant to have. May it bring you all that you deserve.

She had hold of his face, trying to hold it still as he cried out again.


He pushed Isabel away from him as he threw himself off of the chair, hitting the wall dead ahead as flipped himself over to lean up against it, eyes big shiny from crying breathing like he was fit to burst. Isabel went to go to him but he held out his hand for her to stay put, shaking his head as he began to slide down it. When he came to rest he bunched up his legs so his chin was now on his kness as he let his head fall onto his crossed forearms. They knew he was crying by the way his shoulders were moving up and down. Maria's hand was already at her mouth, eyes welling up as Isabel kicked off again.

"I knew this would happen...god.."
Her hands in her hair as she now looked away form her brother towards everyone elses shocked faces.

"She should have stayed away." She bit out.
"I wish she had."

"Shut up Isabel." Michael spat out just as hard as he got up, looking around them as other body weaved in and out of where they were.
"We don't need this right now..."

"WHY, because precious 'little miss goody-too-shoes' decided it would be a good time to come back and mess
with my little brother again. But hey she can't face upto
anybody right now so she does to take alittle break for awhile..."

He was in her face, he was doing that lot lately and she didn't like it. She kicked off again.

Maria and Kyle looked nervously about them as the glares ans stares started, both trying to smile them away. Failing totally as neither fely even remotely like smiling at this particular time.

"Stop talking about something you know nothing about."
he went to turn, knowing he was close to blowing himself when she pulled him back by his arm. he looked between her hand on him and her eyes afew times before she finally let go.

"But you do don't you Michael."
Her voice calmer but still wanting answers all the same.
He looked at her then back at the others, landing lastly on Max who still hadn't looked up yet. He inhaled hard.

"Look Max its the only one who's been having problems kay?" he now walked away from Isabel only to find Maria blocking his path.

"No it's not KAY Michael, you owe us an explaination..."
She stared at him harder, voice almost a whisper.
" owe me an explaination Michael. Do know how hard it's been for me not being able to speak to my best freind in the whole world because you don't know where she is...."
She was now looking down at her feet, shifting off and on each one in turn.
"Getting only afew hastly phonecalls in the first few days then nothing but the odd one or two whenever she felt
like phoning. Saying not to come and see her when I
asked if I could. Hearing the crap excuses that she gave
back not to...."
Her voice trailed off.He knew she was starting to cry by the sound of her voice, he reached of her but she smacked his hand away. She looked up, he was right.


"No Michael you saw me, you held me then I cried for her to just phone me again because I missed her so much and when she didn't wondering what it was I'd done wrong."
She was crying harder now, her emotions on and off like a lightswitch this past year finally realizing how much she needed Liz around, wishing she had have made her not go that day then none of this would have happened.
She couldn't see Michael coming towards her until she felt his arms embracing her. She fought him off.

"NO MICHAEL I WANNA KNOW....TELL ME!!!" Her face full of tears and rage.
A Nurse came upto them, finally having enough of this.

"May I remind you that this IS a hospital and there are sick people heard who don't need to hear this so either keep it down or leave."
Nothing from any of them, she looked at them harder.
"Understand or I'll call security."
She didn't know just how brave she was being by just going upto him at that point, half of them were angry aliens after all and don't even start on hurricane Maria, who just turned away from her. Kyle was the only one left as he then spoke.

"Sorry I'll make sure that they do kay?"
He finished with it will a smile. The nurse, must have seen something in that that she liked because her face softened just alittle.
She was a small, well-rounded, red faced, thick rimmed glassed elderly woman that would put the fear of god into god, Kyle swallowed down hard as he shook alittle for her response.

"See that you do." And she gave them all one last look before she walked off, Kyle swearing that he'd seen her smile. Michael finally spoke then it was only them again.

"Liz is no longer at the research centre..." He mumbled out, Maria wiping at her tear stained cheeks went to open her mouth.
"Do you want to hear this or not Babe?" She mouth shut as she nodded.

"She hasn't been for along time."

"How do you know?" Isabel was ohh soo much calmer also, even stepping in closer to him.

"Because I went to see her, after she called me at the crashdown one day."
He looked straight at Maria, knowing already how shocked her face would be.

"She called you..when...why...?" She was lost.

"Afew months after she left. She checked in every so often to see how Max was. She didn't stay on the phone long and it always sounded like it was like she had to ask not like she wanted to."
His voice behrly a whisper as he slowly walked away from them, turning back to continue on.
"I could hear that something was up right from the very first one but she near said anything was wrong till....."
He looking at his feet now, hands deep in his pockets.
"...this particular day she didn't ask about Max, which I thought was strange she just said could we meet somewhere?"

"YOU WENT TO FLORIDA?" Maria's voice full of utter shock.

"No...." He heard her exhale hard.
"...not on that occassion I didn't." His eyes stealing a look as he spoke.

All spat out in unison as he looked back at all their open mouths. Herubbed at his temples as he spoke again.

"She said she was coming out this way so...."

Maria thought she would blackout there and then, so needing the oil that she knew she didn't have.

"No, but close enough."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Isabel looked at Max who sat bunched uo in exactly the same position as before.
"Why didn't you tell saw how he got after she left Mixchael. You've done some pretty heartless and stupid things in your time but this..." She could n't find the words.

"She asked me not to what was I supposed to do?"

"Lie, that's what your good at isn't it Michael!!"
Maria spat out at him as she paced up and down harder and longer. He spun round to her, anger in his eyes.

Finally he was kicking off.

"Ohhh yeah. So hard for you. I bet you loved every minute of it, watching us all suffer and worry when you knew all along what was going on." Maria was in his face, not caring anymore.
"Hope you enjoyed your little game, Michael you sick sonofabitch I just hope it was worth it. That you two enjoyed your little game..."

"SHUT UP MARIA YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS!" He turned away from her as she yanked him back round to face her.

"then I ask you again...TELL ME 'cus right now I can't see what possible reason is good enough for what you both did to all of us. God she was my best friend and she....."
He grabbed hold of the shoulders hard and shook her to stop.His next sentence stoped her, it killed her if the truth be known.


He just let her go as he heard Max's ohh so low voice from beside him.

He couldn't finish, his body wouldn't let him say the word. Michael saw how wide his eyes were, relentlessly searching his. He'd only cried 4 times in his whole life that night in the rain when he went to see Maria after hank; when they thought they were leaving;when Liz told him and now seeing his best friend beg him with only his eyes to tell him it wasn't true. Michael could only nod, so wanting to say more but what more could be said. Max was taking steps back, shaking his head.

He was shaking so hard now, whobbly legs threatening to give way. By the look on Michael's face he knew it was true.

His arms were tightly round himself as Isabel went to him, arms reaching out to him, now knowing why. Wishing it was what she'd thought, hating herself and crying all the more. He walked further back as his tears spilled over and down so fast.

He cried out as a wail from the other room was heard, even louder than his.


He was through the doors the double doors at the first utter of the word 'no', instantly knowing who it was, eyes resting on Liz's as he saw her fighting with the nurse's to get up and to him


I say just one thing, it may not look like it now but this is a happy little tale, everythings happening for a reason so don't panic kay!
Trust me!!
Let me know what you think.
Back real soonXXXX

BTW POSTED LATER...note below.
(basically I can't leave it like that.Spent the afternoon thinking about it so Part 6 later tonight kay !!!)

Lots of space...WHY? Ohhhh Well......


these are for the ending...when it gets here *big*!!!

[ edited 5 time(s), last at 23-Oct-2001 1:40:59 PM ]
posted on 23-Oct-2001 1:32:33 PM
Feeling very *sad*
Can't leave it like that.
Posting part 6 tonight *big*
If the boards up of course!*⊕!!
See U soon xxx
posted on 24-Oct-2001 10:22:42 AM

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 25-Oct-2001 9:23:08 AM ]
posted on 24-Oct-2001 12:37:14 PM

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 24-Oct-2001 2:20:46 PM ]
posted on 24-Oct-2001 12:46:25 PM
opps crisis over!!!

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 25-Oct-2001 11:35:16 AM ]
posted on 24-Oct-2001 2:19:02 PM
Hey You,

Can't talk, not a *happy* bunny right now.
I'm closing this thread *sad*.
Thanx to all you *angel*'s for reading & leaving.
Back soon *big*.
Bye for now *bounce*.
posted on 24-Oct-2001 4:49:23 PM
Hey You,

Very bad day today, don't ask, and what with the board going nuts on me ignore any posting from me today.
Sorry about any confusion.
Part 6 on the way*bounce**bounce**bounce*
posted on 26-Oct-2001 12:50:01 PM
Only me checking something out, this board is driving me nuts right now!!!!*bounce*(me pulling my hair out about now!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
posted on 26-Oct-2001 11:07:03 PM

Just a quickie to say thanx to you all for your FB on this thread *bounce*
I had some major problems as the board went down and totally screwed all my fics *sad**sad**sad*
Things got alittle ditzy for a minute but I'M BACK!!!!*big*
I've got alot to catch up on so a new thread, starting with page 6 is now on the board *wink*
Wanting to get part 7 out there asap so I'd just like to thank.....


All *angel*'s for reading & leaving to this thread.
You made me *big* B I G T I M E !!!!!!
Sorry I haven't been able to reply to your FB individually but sooooo much has kicked off in the last few days, hope you understand.
Hope to see you all for more of the same after Part 7 coming back at ya very soon.
Bye for now