|posted on 1-Feb-2002 9:34:45 PM|
|Title: I love you Alex|
Author: Fluffie AKA Kay
Summry: just a short Isabel POV post 'To have and to hold' Takes place probably some time after xmas but it doesn't really matter.
Author's note: I've never written anything this short and I've never written anything that wasn't M/L so this is knida new for me. The idea for this story hit me hard and I had to write it down. I may write more POV's centered around this fic, it all depends if my insperation sticks around. Please plesae lots of feedback it helps
Isabel sat in one of her classes not really paying attention. Ever since she had learned to scan book in to her brain she found herself getting more and more bored during lectures. It didn’t matter if she paid attention anyway. She knew all the answers on tests and when ever she did listen, she'd answer the professor's question before he'd barely finished them. Isabel started playing with her wedding rings., twisting them around her finger and wondering for the millionth time if she had done the right thing by marrying Jesse.
Her thought was disrupted by rustling paper and people getting pens out of bags. Isabel quickly recovered from her thought and started taking notes like everyone else around her. Soon after that class ended and Isabel headed home in the small car her parents had given her when she got married. She drove past her old high school and thought about all the time she spent in the quad with her friends especially Alex. It seemed that her thoughts seemed to be drifting towards Alex more and more lately. She couldn't count how many times in the past few weeks she had found her self thinking about him. She could be food shopping and pass something on shelf and remember how much he liked that food or something funny he'd said about or how much he hated it. She found herself avoiding music stores at all costs because everything in them screamed Alex, she couldn't even listen to half of her own CD's because they reminded her of songs Alex had sung. She was shopping with Maria the days before and she found a shirt that looked like it would look good on Alex. She was half way to the register with it before she remembered he was gone.
Before she knew it she was at home. She didn't remember the ride over at all, it wasn't even blurry it just wasn't there. She put her books on the kitchen table and went to her bedroom and started looking for something but she had no idea what, that was until she found it. She pulled a photo album from the bottom of a box she vowed not to look in. It was her box of Alex thing. A photo album, the CD's of his band he had burned for her, one of his tee shirts that Maria had given her when she cleaned out his room and the Beth Orton tickets they never got to use.
She started flipping thought the album, laughing at a picture of Alex with his head between his forearms and his hand clasped at the back of his neck. On the next page was one of him and Maria playing at the radio stations valentines day concert 2 years before. She regretted not going to that concert so much now. That was one of the biggest things she regretted in her life, never seeing Alex playing in front of an audience outside of his group of friends. The next two pages were of them dancing. The first one was in Vegas and the second was at prom. Alex was the best dancer she had ever met. He never steeped on her toes. She asked him if he had taken lessons. He smiled and said no, he guessed it just came with being a musician. When you play music you get a feel for it and it makes dancing easy as long as you listen to it.
Isabel took one of the CD's from the box and put it in the stereo, and lifted his shirt to her nose. It still smelled like him, but barely. Alex's voice flooded the room along with Isabel's tears. Hearing him again made reality hit her like a sledge hammer to the back of her head. She was still head over heels in love with Alex but she was married to Jesse, a man who didn’t know her secret, and Alex was dead.
The tears kept falling down Isabel's face till her eyes were red and puffy and she had long tear streaks running down her face. She didn't notice the phone ringing, or that it had been 2 hours since she came home. She didn't even notice someone knocking on her front door.
"Isabel?" Her brother called out as he opened the door with his powers. He had dropped by to see why she hadn't answered her cell phone or house line. "Isabel?" He asked again but still he got no reply. He heard music coming from her bedroom but it was faint and he didn’t know what song it was. When he opened the door he found Isabel sitting cross legged with a photo album on her lap. The same way she had been sitting for 2 hours.
"Max?" She said as she looked up. Realization washed over Max's face. He knew it was Alex's song on the stereo and he knew exactly who was in the pictures she was looking at.
"Max, what have I done?" She asked sounding like a child. "What have I done Max? I married Jesse but I still love Alex. What have I done?" She asked again as a new wave of tears fell down her face.
"It's ok Iz. It’s ok." He said trying to soothe her. He slipped his arm around her shoulder and tried to make her stop crying. Max wasn't surprised at Isabel's revelation. He had seen it coming for months. She never let herself mourn Alex. She cried up until his funeral and then she just stopped. She threw herself into anything and everything, anything that meant she didn't have to think about never seeing Alex again.
"It's not ok Max. It'll will never be ok. I miss him so much it hurts. Why did I marry Jesse? I don't love him. I don't love him." Isabel asked between sobs.
"I don't know Iz."
"I betrayed Alex. He died because of us and I'm betraying him. What kind of person am I?" She asked again but before Max could say a word, she started speaking again. "I'm Vilandra. That who I am, I'm becoming the person I was before!" She cried and ran out the door. Max was up and chasing her as soon as he came to his sense after hearing his sister's reply but before he could catch her, she was tearing out of the drive way and speeding down the road.
Max was left standing in the door to her apartment praying to every God he could think of that she wouldn't do anything drastic.
Isabel was nearly blinded by the tears running down her face. The thoughts of betraying Alex and that she had helped cause his death made Isabel reckless. She never saw the truck she hit.
Isabel stood on the side of the road watching the panic all around her car which had been nearly flattened but the truck. She was glad no one, other then herself had been hurt and she hoped they didn't run any tests on her body that would put Max or Michael in danger. She hadn't meant to die that day. She really hadn't. All she wanted to do was make everything right even though she had no idea how to do that. Fate stepped in and gave her a hand.
"Isabel?" She heard a voice over her shoulder and she looked around to seen the beautiful thing she could have hoped for. Alex was there, waiting for her.
"Alex." She sighed. "I missed you so much." She said softly.
"I missed you too. It's gonna be ok now. We can be together."
"Is everything going to be ok with Max and Michael?" She asked now realizing that maybe her brothers would die because she wasn't there to fight with them.
"They are going to miss you so much but they'll be ok. Everything will be ok." He said with a reassuring smile. Isabel threw herself in to Alex's arm and held him close.
"I'm sorry I betrayed you." She said in to his neck, not wanted to let of him.
"It's ok, it doesn't matter anymore."
"I love you Alex." She said.
"I love you too Isabel. Forever."