posted on 25-Dec-2001 10:08:38 PM
The Liz-ard of OZ.
Lopaka Tanu
Category: Smallville/Roswell Crossover.
Coupling: Liz and Clark. Max and Liz only at the very begining.
Summary: When Max hurts Liz once again she says she has had enough.
Author's note: Help me people. I need more ideas to make this story intersting, and I need a Beta. So which of you happy pappy people want to try vitameatavegimen, Uh excuse me old lucy episode, who wants to be my Beta?

For DMartinez, you are one of the greatest stories ever told.

And now on to our feature presentation.
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Part 1 Some where over the rainbow.

Liz smiled as she waited for her date to show up. She and Max were going to go out for their one week aniversary. Her strained smile was because he was thirty minutes late. He promised this time. He told her it would be different. He would love her like no other time in the past. He had used that line the last time too. So here she sat watching the clock waiting for him to show.

Max never showed. Liz sat there the whole night in her dress and styled hair. When her father came down the next morning he saw the tracks left by tear streaked mascara. His heart broke as he noticed she had not left the spot at the counter from last night when he went up to bed. "That does it Max is neveer going to set foot in her life in any ever again. If I have to I will use brute force." He bent down and kissed Liz on the head. He was going to make sure Max never heard from his daughter again.

Liz had come to a similar decision in her sleep. She was tired of this life. She had had it with the aliens and their lack of humanity. Now she was going to make sure that they were no longer inher life. Figuring they could fend for themselves with out her having to nearly die in one fashion or another, she decided to leave. The last thing she thought was where to go.

Liz awoke with a start as the bells on the door jingled. She shot up but quickly regretted it rubbing her neck. She looked around to see who had wakin her before she could decide where to go. Max smiled at her and rubbed the back of his head. Liz forgot all about her plans and ran over to him hugging him close. This was what she wanted. Max pulled her arms from around his waiste and looked down upon her.

"Liz we got to talk. We can't continue this way. I have to find my son and you are not helping me. Dating is only taking up precious time. I found some thing important about my son last night. He contacted me about a possible location of a ship. If you get ready we can be there in the half a day. Oh and why on Earth are you dressed up?"

Liz looked at Max incredously. "What do you mean why am I dressed up? I was ready for our date last night where the hell were you?"

Max frowned at her. "I was out, thats all you need to know."

"Max we had a date and all you can say for breaking it was you were out? Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Listen you ooo, I have had almost enough of you. You will either go or you stay, make up your mind. Just remember that if you stay we are over." Max put his finger in herr chest.

"No you go off on your own. I am tired of your damn petty games Max. I amnot going to be your yoyo any more. So just chase after that little brat you spawned with that whore. I will never be here for you or those damned aliens again." Liz turned to go but Max grabbed her arm and forced her to face him.

"Listen you little Bitch."

"Get your damn hands off me. I will have your ass thrown out of her if you..." Liz never got a chance to finsh because Max hit her accross the face.

"Now you listen and you listen good." Max's voice was filled with barely contained rage. "You will get your worthless ass up and get dressed. You are going to come with me and that is final. You understand me?"

Liz grabbed her cheek and fell to the ground crying. "I will never go with you, Max."

Max was about to hit her again when Isabelle burst in through the door. "What is going on here? We need her to hurry up. I am not going to get caught for you." Isabelle took in the scene. "What the hell have you done now Liz?"

Liz looked at her in utter shock. "I did nothing that ass hole hit me."

"Oh get off it Liz, we all know what a slut you are. What did you do this time, the entire football team?"

"You filthy whore. Get the hell out of here." Liz screamed at Isabelle and Max. "Get out now. I will never be your stooge again. GET OUT!" The glasses on the counter shattered. "I SAID GET THE HELL OUT!" The doors shattered. Liz raised her hands. "I said GET OUT!" Max and Isabelle went flying past the broken paines.

When they had gotten up and taken off running Liz fell to her knees crying. The sound of the alarm blazing in the distance was drown out by the tears and the rushing in Liz's ears. Her sobs shook her body as she laid on the floor. Liz felt numb as she was touched by warm hands.

Some one picked her up and carried her to the booth the Aliens had used since the begining. His smell was of manly sweat and some colgne she could not identify. The thought of manly sweat caused her to laugh and cry at the same time. A gentle hand caressed the tears from her face with a napkin. She sniffled and rubbed her face in his shoulder. He was taller than Max and nicer smelling. Other than the fact he was being nice to her she knew nothing about him.

Liz was about to look up when he crushed her close. She smiled in to his chest and kissed his collar shirt. She smiled at his heart beat. It was beating almost twice as fast as hers. His breathing was shallow and he was becoming fast aroused. He was so warm and friendly Liz had completely forgot about Max and the others.

"Clark, where are you son."

"I am right here Dad." His youthful voice made her heart swell with happiness. She looked up at his face and this time he did not protest.

His blue eyes swallowed her in a sea as warm as the Caribean. She tasouled his black hair as sheepishly smiled at her. "Thank you, Clark is it?"

He bowed his head in embarrassment. "Yes, Clark, Clark Kent, and you are?"

Clark Kent, what a nice normal sounding name. "I am Liz Kent, uh I mean Liz Parker."

At the thought of her having his name Clark's heart stopped. He could handle this, he was a big boy. Get a grip Clark she made a mistake because she is still in shock over that explosion. "So do you know what happened here?" Smooth Clark, why don't you shine the light in her eyes, handcuff her, while blowing smoke in her face.

The question startled Liz back in to reality. 'What to tell him?' "A sonic explosion. I was practicing my singing and caused the glass to break. I guess only dogs would like my singing."

"Your voice is pretty, I would like to hear you sing one time, in a place with out glass." His responce made Liz feel easier about her lie.

"Clark, come on we have to get on the road soon."

"I'll be right there Dad." Clark looked at Liz. "Can I call you some time?"

Liz jotted down her number on a napkin. Clark took the napkin and started to get up. Not thinking he kissed Liz on the lips. The kiss stunned Liz so much she remained frozen well after he fled out the broken windows. When her mind returned she looked down at the glass.

"What the hell happened? Did I do that? Did Max and I brake up? Did he do what I think he did? Did I just give my phone number to a complete stranger?" Liz smiled ruefully. "Did I really enjoy a kiss from some one not Max? Yes, yes I did. Who are you Clark, Clark Kent?"

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[ edited 10time(s), last at 17-Mar-2002 11:49:03 AM ]
posted on 25-Dec-2001 11:09:25 PM
This Liz is based on the series. My psycho and slutty Liz's are getting a little pissed about what I have done but they were each given a max and a whip so they are a little preoccupied. Nice idea about the Kivar thing but Kivar has already been on the show. This starts basically a week after the christmas episode. So any more ideas would be appreciated. And about the kyle thing. Wait a moment. *Melts in seat* Okay Kyle, way cute, total hot bod. I think I see a lot of potential in adding Kyle to story. But CLARK AND LIZ FOREVER in my story. Kyle is a good go goffer. Go for this go for that. So here is a chance to give kyle a new goffer position.
posted on 29-Dec-2001 6:45:30 PM
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Part 2 Look at all the little people, Toto.


Liz sat in the same spot watching the area of the windows where Clark had disappeared out of. A voice was asking something she could not make out through her shock. Liz looked up at Kyle as he waved a hand in front of her. Tears welled up in her eyes as she finally focused on his face. When her body started to shake from sobs he grabbed her close.

"Liz are you okay what the hell happened here?" Kyle tried to sound soothing through the fear. His lungs felt like a large weight were pressed in to them when Liz pointed towards a glass on the table and it shattered.

With a wave of her hand pieces spelled out Max and Isabelle. Kyle could not believe his eyes. What Liz had done and wrote was impossible.

What had they done now?

He was getting tired of cleaning up their messes. Kyle kissed here forehead as he rocked her.
Liz sobbed for another minute then stopped to a sniffle. Her mouth finally began to work again. She felt calm again like when Clark was here. But she still did not feel safe like when he was here. "I finally told Max no. He reacted badly to say the least. He hit me then Isabitch came in and yelled at me like it was my fault. I got pissed that's when the glasses shattered, when I finally released all my fury they and the windows went out on to the side walk. I collapsed after they fled and when I started to cry someone came in. He picked me up and brought me here. He just left before you came in."

Kyle sat in silence thinking what she had rapidly told him. When it finally sank in that someone had helped her, the fear was upon him again. "Liz did this guy see you throw Max and Isabelle through the front windows?"

She stopped and thought about this. "I really don't know. I was too upset about Max and Isabelle. I never thought that they would have done this too me. Kyle how could I be so blind? I mean the signs were there. He is prime candidate for being an abuser. He abused me all these years and I was blind to it. Oh God I think I am going to be sick. How could I be so insecure? Please Kyle tell me I am not stupid. Please tell me you don't hate me."

"Shhhh Liz I don't hate you. You are not stupid. You were blinded by love. Any body could be blinded by them. I thought that they were different then the rest of the aliens. It just turns out that they were just as bad. I wonder if they have alien Jerry Springier." When Liz started to laugh he knew he got what he wanted. "I can just see it now. 'Today on our show we have Griednad who's pod mate is unaware she has a dirty little secret. You see Griednad likes to abduct humans and mate with them. Last month Griednad accidentally forgot to sterilize the human and impregnated him with her eggs. He has two months before he bares live young. Griednad is here to tell Yarbrol, that is her pod mate, that she is going to reproduce. Yarbrol is the only one she has reproduced with so he will be a little shocked. Bring out Yarbrol. Griednad do you have something you would like to say to Yarbrol?' 'Yes, a human is having my young.' 'What is your reaction to this Yarbrol?' 'Actually Jerry I am glad to hear it because an

Liz smiled through the tears of laughter. "Kyle I needed that thanks. Where is my dad, he should have been here by now?"

"He is talking to the police. Apparently he was informed that two suspicious people were running away after the windows were blown out of the front of his restaurant."

"Kyle you didn't? Oh you are so bad. I wonder how they are going to get out of this one? Oh poor Max, this is his second offense. You know he could end up in jail for a couple of weeks. I think they would like his royal ass there." Liz laughed while she cried. "I'm sorry Kyle it's just hurts so much. How am I going to go on? He was all I lived for."

Kyle smiled at her. "You know I am currently single." His wiggling eye brows caused Liz to laugh and playfully slap his shoulder. "You're right, you are not my type. I prefer them of the human persuasion." That earned him another harder slap. "Why don't you tell me more about this mystery meat."

"He was not meat, but he was built nicely. No way am I going out with you again. He had these blue eyes that I could swim in and black hair. He was the total dream guy for any good Irish girl.

"But you're not Irish."

"I know that but my mind does not care. I can still feel his arms holding me. I felt safe from the world. He felt like a super, guy. Sorry my mom and I watched one of her old movies last night." Liz turned bright red as Kyle eyed her suspiciously.

"Are you it was her movie and not yours? I know that you watch those things. You like those black haired rebels from those fifties movies. I bet if Michael had black hair you would have tried to jump him before we went out. Ouch that hurt." Kyle rubbed his red arm.

"Michael is sweet it's just that he has a little problem I call bitch. She totally does not deserve him. Oh God I just did it again. Please take away my DVD player." Liz bowed her head in mock shame. "Really Kyle what am I going to do now?"

He thought about it for a while then smiled. "Take a vacation. You need a brake from all of this trouble. I am sure your parents would be thrilled about your decision to drop old kingly pooh. I bet they would even pay for your trip."

"That sounds like a good idea. I was thinking about leaving before ass hole showed up. I just need to get away. Now that Max is gone I think that my parents will be all to glad to help me get away for a while. I just have one problem. Where to go?" Liz put her head in her hands.

"How about Smallville Kansas?"

Liz laughed at him. "Why there, it sounds familiar? Why would I go to a place called Smallville?"

Kyle looked at his hands. "Two reasons, there was a Meteor shower that nearly destroyed the town thirteen years ago. Second of all that is where your mysterious Clark Kent came from."

Liz stared at him slack jawed. "How did you, I mean I never told you, I, he is, Kyle why the hell are you smiling at your hands you had better not be doing what I think you are doing."

That sobered him up. "I am not that sick Parker. Besides I have a theory that you could do a better job of it for me. Wanna put it to a test?"

After slapping him again Liz smiled. "Seriously how did you know?"

Kyle held up a wallet in his hands. "Says so on his drivers license. From what it says here is not to much of a man. I bet I am bigger than he is."

"No, Kyle he is over six feet. Wait a minute you mean, oh God do you think of any thing else other than that?" Liz turned away in disgust getting up from the booth. She snatched the wallet and walked from the booth. "Oh, Kyle, I felt both of you and he is defiantly bigger." After her parting shot Liz ran through to the back screaming with a laughing Kyle on her heels.
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posted on 4-Jan-2002 7:36:11 AM
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Part 3 Follow the Yellow Brick Road.

Liz sat waiting for the reactions of her parents to her decision. At first they were too stunned to say any thing but now they just felt that it was best to think things through before they chose to respond. After a few huffs from Liz to signal her impatience they decided to speak.

"Are you and Max really over?" Jeff could barely contain the glee in his voice.

"Yes, that is why I want to leave Roswell. He is a jerk and a controlling freak. So what do you say, can I transfer to Aunt Norma Geanes in Kansas?" Liz gave her best I am daddy's special angel look.

"If Aunt Geanie says so then so be it. I hope you know what you are doing sweet heart. I just wish you would stay here with us a little longer." Jeff silently did summersaults in his head. "When do you want to leave, you know that school will start in two weeks there?"

"Perfect. Enough time for me to scout around and get my barings." Liz smiled at her dad and hugged him when he shook his head yes. "I promise you will not regret this."

Liz ran off to her room to pack while her mother stared at her father. "What do you think go tin to her?"

"Well from what she said it definetly was not Max." Reaching down to pick up a leather billfold in Liz seat. "Who's is this?" Jeff checked out the license inside and looked it over. "Well it looks like Aunt Geanie's produce boy was here."

"You mean that black haired boy she says gives her those fantasies."

"Nancy please, I do not wish to discuss my aunts sex life. just the thought of her and any one gives me the shudders. It was bad enough having to live on that farm when my mom was on one of her digs. I hope Liz likes horses, she will be spending a lot of time with them."

Liz was on the phone with her aunt for the rest of the morning making the arrangements. After that she wanted to set her plane tickets for the trip to smallville. The last thing she did before she went out to spend her last night in Roswell was to call and have flowers sent to the jail to the order of Max and Isabelle.

"Thats right I want them all green. The little waving alien included. Thats right, see you and the rest of your kind in hell. I want roses to have plenty of thorns. No I am not making a crank call. Here is my credit card number." After Liz made sure the bouquet was sent off she finished getting dressed. She had one alien to say good bye to personally.

Liz released the scream of pure bliss as it throbbed between her legs. Who knew riding this thing was so pleasureable. With her arms spread wide she felt like she was flying. Michael had taken her out to the desert for the last time. They would no longer be able to have their sessions. He had been blown away when she offered him this last time to get it on. He had taken the chance in a heart beat.

He had showed her how to master her abilities in a few short hours and she had shown him a world of trouble. She connected them with kiss, and he went for the entire rollorcoaster ride that was Liz. When he came back two hours later Liz was practicing her blaster.

"So that is what it is like to be you. Wow. You are beyond any thing that I have expierenced before. Do you mind if I show what it is like to be me?" He formed a connection with his hand son her face and she went out like light. She sat up with a sharp intake of breath.

"That was so oh I can not even discribe it. Please one more time?"

He smirked, "okay but you got to do the same thing."

Maria discovered them at Michael's veged out like they were stoned. "What in the hell is going on here? Liz do you care to explain why you and Michael are tripping. Liz!" Maria walked over and pushed her with the toe of her shoe.

Liz stared up at nothing with black eyes. When Maria shook her Liz only giggled. Maira waited thirty minutes before she tried to call any body. When she learned that Isabelle and Max were rotting in a cell, she nearly had a heart attack. "What the hell is going on? Has every body gone insane?"

"Nope, but you are leaving now before Liz wakes up. My little sis is not going to be disturbed by the likes of you any more." Maria turned to see Kyle standing in the door way.

"What the hell are you talking about? Liz is not your little sister."

"Uh yeah she is Maria. Well I am the only family she has got besides Michael. Now if you do not mind I would like to wait for them alone."
Maria turned on her ass and floored it out of there.

Kyle did not have to wait long. Michael and Liz awoke sibotaeniously. "That was way cool. We have got to try this again if you ever come to visit me. Hi Kyle, how long have you been here?"

Kyle smiled at Liz. "I was here long enough to check out your panties. Nice pink frilly things." He laughed as Liz glared at him. "What did you expect I am a guy."

"What if I grabbed a handful of you while you slept. Never mind you aint got enough for a handful." Liz laughed while Kyle glared at her. "What did you want Kyle?"

"I came to tell you some good news. Thanks to my dad's shitkickers I will be joining you in Smallville. He has been offered a couple gigs in Metropolis. They were looking for a good country western band and he just happened to show up with his possie and they won the contract. Oh joy I am the son of a career shitkicker." Kyle was plowed over by a over exuberant Liz. "Hold on there, I will need a place to stay while there. Do you think your Aunt will be willing to put us up until dad can get on his feet?"

"Of coarse Kyle. She is always willing to help some one who can shovel shit. She owns a horse ranch in the area of smallville. It just so happens that a certain knight in shiny armor lives down the Road." Liz gigled as Kyle gave her a gagging face.

"Hey you know I am still here." Michael grumbled from his place on the floor.

"Hey I just had a stupid thought, Michael come with us." Liz jumped on his lap. "Come on, I need my big strong body guard to protect me from that big strong barbarian farm boy who will want to take away my virgin status."

"Okay, if I can stay on the farm too. I will not shovel horse shit though."

Liz squeexed him tight. "I knew you could not say no. We are going to have the bestest time. Oh god listen to me I sound like a child. Michael say some thing."

"Can't breathe."

"Oh oh sorry. So it's agreed we all leave tomorrow. I can't wait until then. I just get this feeling like every thing will be all right once we get to Smallville." Liz hugged Michael again until he started to turn blue.

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posted on 4-Jan-2002 6:18:40 PM
They formed a connection that allowed each other to expirence what the other felt. They did this for fun and to test the others abilities. Before it was just a Test for Michael.
posted on 8-Jan-2002 3:45:04 AM
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Part 4 Kansas She Says is the Name of Her Star.


The flight was uneventful as they sat personal plane sent by Jim's new employer. Liz was a little unsure at first but when she heard that is was all paid for and that she would not need to waist her money on other expenses she agreed.

"So Jim you never said whot this mystery boss was." Liz smiled at Michael as she stuck another piece of her salami sandwhich in her mouth. She laughed as he ran to the bathroom with a hand over his mouth.

"You know it is not nice to tease people when they get motion sickness. His name is Lex Luthor. Turns out he is opening a new restaraunt and wants their band as the main attraction. Also I get the feeling he is doing it to piss off his father." Jim frowned at Kyle. "What, you didn't hear the screaming in the back ground. I did and I was all the way across the room."

"That is besides the point Kyle. How many times must I tell you to watch your mouth. When we land and are around Mr. Luthor you are to keep your mouth shut unless he asks you a question. If he does keep your language nice. I am not going through another strip search like at the other airport." Liz laughed as Jim turned bright red.

"Ah come on you know she was actually just after a chance to feel your bod." Liz laughed harder as Jim looked out the window redder than a beet. "I don't know what you are doing after we land but I am taking a Taxi out to my aunt's and getting a nap."

"Oh no your not, you are going to suffer the boring business diner with the rest of us." This comment earned Kyle a slap up side the head in three different directions, Michael had returned. "Hey what am I a peniatta? Liz keep your hands to your self. On second thought, beat me baby."

Liz rolled her eyes. "Dream on Kyle. I have hands only for one man. Just remember Jim, my room is on the first floor beyond the kitchen."

"Now just wait a damn minute here, I am not interested in you or any one of my son's friends... oh that was a joke." Jim pulled his hat over his eyes and layed back. "Never mind the old man ya'll just go on about your business."

The rest of the flight was filled with the laughter of the three teens.

"So this is Kansas, it's so open." Michael was the first one to step off the plane. "Damn, don't these people have any sort of heating?"

Liz was the next to come off the plane. "It's called winter Michael."

"I have heard of this phenomenon. It is usually filled with freezing temperatures and lots of snow." Kyle walked along trying not to laugh at the looks the others gave him. "See that Michael, that is called ice. It is very slippery if stepped on. Becaerful when crossing it."

"All right smart ass. Get going before I kick you out of my way." Kyle laughed as Jim walked carefully towards the exit ramp.

Michael and Liz made it down the stair with out incedent. When jim walked down,or wabbled down would be the correct term, he had little trouble. As for Kyle the first step was what they called a Lulu. He landed on his butt and slid the rest of trhe way down. The group barely made it to the Limo waiting for them as they could not stop laughing at Kyle.

Upon reaching the Limo a bald man steeped out and put out a hand to Jim. "Mr. Valenti, I am Lex Luthor."

"Just call me Jim. These are my son and his friends. We are staying with this one's aunt. This is Liz Parker, Michael Gueirne and Smart Ass, I mean my son, Kyle." Jim smacked Kyle upside the head as he caught the moching look he was giving Liz to make her laugh.

"Ouch, that hurt. What in hell did you do that for. Ouch stop. God you would think we were meeting the pope. Ouch all right all right." Kyle rubbed his sore head as they got in to the Limo. Kyle was forced to sit up front with the driver for lack of room.

All the way to the dinner that Lex said had the best food, the group talked about the new restaruant. It was to be a TexMex style and food. Lex though that Metropolis could use a little small town touch. Every time he looked at Liz he felt a strange pull towards her that she seemed totally oblivious to. He would smile and she would look away. The more she resisted the more he wanted.

With each glance Liz felt more and more uncomfortable around him. She got a weird vibe from him. Here she sounded like that air head Maria. But it was true, he was some thing not right. His total lack of hair was not what she called sexy. She thought that only made him more suspect. She had nothing against bald men in general, just bald men who had no business looking her way.

"So Liz what are you doing here? Aren't you a little young to be leaving home, yet?" Lex admired how her eyes seemed to lock on to him and burn right through him. In fact the cold killer look sent shivers down his spine. 'Yes must keep and eye on her.'

"Aactually Lex I am chasing a nice piece of Ass. Perhaps you know him, Clark Kent." Liz smiled at Lex's confused look.

"You are after that guy, why when you could go after some one more your age?" Lex felt more than a little ncomfortable under her gaze.

"Well it's as you see, I preffer more Mature men. Jim was the only mature bachelor in Roswell, so when he left I just could not let him go with out telling him that I am carring his love child. But he rejected me and said to find some one else. So I figured I was already on the flight why not go after that cute guy who my aunt told me about. You see if I can get him to sleep with me some time in the next week I can say the baby is his."

Liz couldn't keep it any more, the dumb founded looks on their faces was too much. "God you people are so gulable. I am here to get away from an obsesive boyfriend and his slut sister. That and the fact Clark saved my life."

"So you too." When the others turned on him in amazement he smirked. "I was flying down the road and swirved toavoid some polls. When I hit thje guard rail I could have sworn I hit some body. The next thing I know some body has pulled me out ot the water and giving me CPR. If Clark had not been there I would have died."

"You know it's a good thing he did save you, or else my dad would not have gotten this gig." Liz smacked Kyle put the window up and locked it.

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posted on 23-Jan-2002 6:25:50 PM
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Part 5 Now leave before some one drops a house on you.

Liz enjoyed the Dinner but the service sucked. She knew that she could do a better job if only people would ask her too. So she waited for the food to appear, again. She had sent it back because it was cold and tasted like cooked rat. Don't ask, lets just say that when Michael sets his mind on killing some thing it usually ends up dead, or deep-fried.

Lex watched as Liz bossed the incompetent waitress around like she owned the place. With each new order he felt his heart squeeze tighter. She was almost as much a dictator as he was. That is if she ran a fertilizer factory. When he smiled at her she glared.

"Ouch, you could give a guy frost bite." Lex smiled wider as she burned him with her death glare. "Trying to toast me babe."

"Get over your self Mr.Luthor." Liz was growing increasingly annoyed at him.

"Call me Lex. I hate it when people call me Mr.. Luthor. It reminds me of the demon I came from."

"I am sorry if you had a bad family Mr. Luthor, but if you don't quit ogling me I will knock your eyes out your ass hole." Liz smiled as best she could as her food came back with the rest of their group. "Did you guys enjoy the restroom. I mean you have been in their a half hour."

"It was only ten minutes Liz, and food we had on the plane did not settle well with us. Well Dad and me, Michael just had to go." Kyle smirked at her as a buttered role smacked him in the face, butter side face first.

"Strike three your out. Damn can't that little bitch get that shitty food here any faster? I am god damn starving." The guys stared at her in confusion.

"Liz are you feeling okay? That is the most cuss words I have ever heard you use in my life." Kyle paled as she looked at him with black eyes. "Uh Liz put these on remember your eye condition." He handed her his sunglasses.

"Why what is fu**ing wrong." Liz glared at him with out putting on the glasses. "Why are you looking at me that way? Answer me or die." The look on her face said she meant it.

"Please just put them on." Michael whispered in her ear. "I will explain later." He turned to look at the others. "Czechoslovakian PMS."

Kyle and Jim nodded while Lex just watched them puzzled.

"What has does being a ceck have to do with PMS that bad?" Lex Paled as Liz glared at him through the sun glasses.

"It is genetic. Just leave it at that, you bald ass hole." Liz growled as Lex hissed at her and made cat noises.

"All right you two. We need to hurry and get that food here before commits homicide." Jim gulped as Liz glared at him. He was saved as the waitress set Liz's food in front of her, cold.

"What in hell are you trying to do? I am not going to be poisoned by some bacteria because of your damn incompetence. Oh and what the hell is this, spit. SPIT, SPIT!" Liz stood up quietly and looked at the guys. "I am going out and take a breather. When I get back this food had better be gone and some thing good to replace it, minus the spit!"

Jim eyed the snobbish waitress. "I suggest you do as she says before I call some body about this. Now get out of my sight."

When she was gone Lex busted out laughing. "Oh my that was a good one. That is Lana Lang. She was Clark's dream girl until a few days ago. Since then she has been a little moody about losing the her not so secret admirer. She probably over heard Liz talking about our boy Kent."

"You mean she did all this on purpose? Oh god where is Liz?" Michael looked around the windows trying to see her when he heard what sounded like the kitchen explode. He and the others jumped to their feet screaming out her name as they ran to the Kitchen.

They fell back quietly as a highly pissed Liz was covering an outraged Lana in pasta sauce. With a clearing of her throat she spit a huge loogy in her face. "If you ever come near me again I will rip your ass off and feed it to you as Ground Round." Liz sighed and dusted her hands off. Walking out of the kitchen she smiled at the guys. "I am ready to go. Lets get a burger, some how I am not in the mood for spaghetti any more."

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Part 6 I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too.



The ride to Liz's aunt's farm was quiet for fear of making Liz mad. This only served to make her angry. When they reached the farm they tried to get away from her but much to their horror Liz had locked the doors. The back of the Limo rocked as screams of pain could be heard from in. Later according to Liz's aunt it looked like a scene from Jurassic park.

As Liz got out of the car only her and Jim were unscathed. The other three looked like they had been through a war. The reasoning behind leaving Jim in one piece was simple. Liz though she was a little PMS, still expected her elders. She stressed the elders part to Jim till he got her point.

Liz's aunt was more than happy to have them. She told them she was little short handed and would like the company. They were all told that she rose by Six am and every one was expected to be up at six am. Liz and Jim had not problems. Michael and Kyle however were still in a daze from the attack.

All Kyle would say was the horror, the horror. Michael would grunt his agreement. They were left in their room to stay that way while Jim had to stay in the room across from Liz's aunt. Liz had her own room that was like a penthouse.

The next day every one helped with the horses much to their disliking. After words they went out to enroll the three younger ones and get supplies. Liz had to get a whole new wardrobe, her clothes had mysteriously disappeared.

After spending three more hours than she intended in town, Liz's Aunt almost went ballistic when they got home. It took Jim and a whole lot of flirting to get her to calm down. After he figured he had done his job good he was dragged off by Liz's aunt to inspect her bed. Apparently he had done his job to well.

By this time they came back it was noon and Liz had lunch fixed. She eyed Jim suspiciously as he seemed to only be able to grunt. When Liz's aunt had come back down she was as high as a kite. The look of absolute terror as she came over and kissed Jim's forehead was what set the three younger ones off. For their part they got to work the rest of the afternoon cleaning the house. Liz got the Kitchen. That brings us to Three thirty five, delivery time from the Kent farm.

Liz was dancing in the kitchen to the Divinyls I touch Myself. As she swung her hips in tune with the music and the rubbing of the cloth she heard the sound of a crate dropping. She turned towards her prey and started to lipsinging with the song. With a smile she sashayed over to him. When she got as close as the box would let her she put her hands on his chest and pulled him down to finish the song in his face. She ended the song with a kiss.

The sound of clapping made Liz release him. Clark fell on his butt with a start as Michael, Kyle, Jim, and Liz's aunt Julia started to whistle and whoop. Liz turned away red faced finding the floor very interesting.

"Encore, encore, well I am sure little Clarky would enjoy one." Kyle whistled again. "What is it with you Clark? It took her three weeks to even get close enough for me to steal a kiss. You meet her and steal one. You walk in on her and she does a strip tease. Please tell me your secret."

"It's the Kent charm. His grand father had it to." Every one turned to Julia. "What, I am not ashamed of what I did back then," she winked at Jim. "Or now. You know I always preferred younger men. I guess that is something Liz picked up from me."

"So what next, Liz? Sex in a public place? I swear you would have got in on in here with the poor boy if we had not come in here. Hi I am Michael by the way."

"Actually you are road kill." Liz chased Michael out the door screaming. "Get your ass back here Mr. Guerine. I am going to teach you to interrupt me when I am doing some thing."

"Yeah but what about the guy you were doing? He seemed more than a little confused by the mating habits of a female Czeckloslavakian in heat." Michael dodged as Liz Jumped at him.

"I will show you in heat. I stick your ass in an oven, as soon as I pull it from the fire." A loud scream followed by several uncles was heard out side as the others just stood or in Clark's case sat in confusion.

"Uh hi I am Clark Kent, Julia's delivery boy." He put out his hand to shake as he stood up.

Kyle was the first one to take it. "Actually you are Liz's next conquest. May be you will get to climb all the way to the top of Mount Lizzie. I am Kyle, Liz's first conquest. Don't worry she can still wear white at her wedding and not get laughed at, if you catch my drift, ouch. That hurt dad."

"Well then learn when to keep your mouth shut. I thought Buddha taught that. Hi I am Jim Valenti, Kyle's Dad. So you rescued Liz."

Clark looked away already bright red. "No I just fond her sitting there crying and helped her to a booth. I made sure she was okay before I had to leave. So do you know what happened?"

"Gas explosion." Was the reply from Kyle and Jim in unison.

"I hope you don't mind, but what is going on here?" His confused look was met by laughs from the other three. When a pair of arms circled around his waist causing him to jump they laughed harder.

Liz gripped Clark as hard as she could. "My hero. So who are you, some super guy? Or your every day mild manner guy?"

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posted on 29-Jan-2002 9:26:40 PM
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Part 7 Lions, Tigers, and Behrs oh my!


"What is going on here?" The angry call made the occupants of the house very agitated. Well at least one of them. It took the rest minus Clark and Julia to hold Liz back from pound Lana in to the next dimension.

"What do you want Lana?" Clark seemed more than a little amused by Liz's reaction to the other girl.

Lana walked in to the Kitchen and smirked at Liz. "I was driving by and saw your truck here and decided to check if we were on for Friday night at the Beanery?" The wrapped a strand of her hair around her finger and flipped the rest behind her head.

"Lana, I uh, I..."

"Sorry Lana, but loser's weepers. You didn't want him so now he is mine. So be a good little loser and scamper away before I mmph miimm meirm" Liz was stopped by two hands covering her mouth.

"Lana I suggest you do as she says. I will see you at school tomorrow."

"Okay Clark, just don't be such a stranger. I am not shackled to Whitney you know."

A scream was shortly followed by cursing was what answered Lana. "I guess I don't have to worry about you going after Clark seems how you are stuck in the land of make believe. I mean, I have nothing against Lesbians, it's just get a life. Whitney Houston is not going to be your love slave no matter what you might think."

Lana burned holes through Liz with her eyes. "Whitney is the star quarterback at school I'll have you know."

"I see the delusions are firmly grounded in reality. Just a suggestion, get help, and fast." Liz was suddenly free as the three guys holding her fell over laughing. Liz chased Lana out the door with a pan she was cleaning earlier. Before she could reach her, strong arms enveloped Liz. "Let me go, I am don't want to kill her just severely hurt her. Hey, let me ooo hooo. Oh thats nice. Mmmmmmmm, real good." Liz dropped the pan as the strong arms tightened around her. The feel of breath tickling the hair on top of her head sent goose bumps through out her body.

The sudden heat pressing in her back and the deepening of the breathing caused her to forget about the retreating girl. In fact Liz was not doing much thinking at that moment. She started to rub against the large frame of her restrainer. When he moaned Liz started to stroke the arms holding her.

"Is she gone yet?"

The voice brought with it a sudden case of dizziness as Liz was swung around to face Kyle, still in the arms of her captor. Liz wondered why he had swung her around with him until she was poked in the back again. That feeling brought a bright red flush to her cheeks.

"Yes, I have driven the forces of Satan back from our world yet again. Amen brother Valenti Amen." Liz turned to face her assailant. "So is that a night stick or are you happy to see me?" Suddenly she was being poked again. "My, my sir, I do believe your happy."

"What is going on out here? Clark why are you holdin on to Liz like she is a shield?" Julia walked out on to the porch with a knowing smile.

"I think he is trying to hide..." Kyle never got to finish his words because an Unidentified Frying Object came sailing his way.

"Liz now look what you've done, my pan will never go back to being round." Julia picked up the battered object of her affection. Tut tuting Liz she walked back in to the kitchen.

Liz turned back around to face the grinning Clark. "So would you like to go to this Beanery with me Friday night?"

Clark rubbed the back of his head and looked away. "Sure, why not. Just leave the cooking supplies at home."

"Why I thought we could make do with some readi Whip?"

He looked at her with a baffled expression. "Why would you want to bring that. They have their own whip cream their?" When he was pulled over and whispered why in his ear, red again crossed his face. "I think if I keep spending time around you this might be my new color."

"Really, I was always fond of the purple parts my self."

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posted on 6-Feb-2002 3:01:41 PM
Dear Fallin' Angel: Is this soon enough for you?

Sorry so short but it was all I could think of for three days.

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Part 8 "Who was that naked blue man jumping in front of me?" - Zo'or "I believe that was Liam." - Da'an "Why was he doing it, and will he do it again?" - Zo'or. Scene from 'Who Was That Blue Man?' EFC fanfiction Archives.



Liz smiled as Clark squirmed under her gaze. This was going to be so much fun. She slowly slid her hands down his back and grabbed a hand full of his bottom.

Clark backed out of her embrace with sudden awareness. "Hey, moving a little fast aren't we?"

Liz advanced on him with her hands at the ready to cop-a-feel. "Oh come on Clark, don't be such a girl." Liz jumped on him and climbed like a monkey on a tree to sit on his shoulder in cat fight formation. "Now I think I will ride you all the way home. To the house my steed." To emphasize him she used her heels like spurs. Once at the front porch she did a quick Xena dismount that gave him more than a peek.

Liz smiled at him seductively and hid her face behind her fan. "My my sir I do believe you know how to give a lady a ride. Now come back in a week and I will give you one."

Clark walked back to the truck in a stiff manor which caused Liz to laugh. He was wondering what just happened, and who the hell that was?

Kyle watched from the screen door and shook his head, when Clark was gone he walked out to confront Liz. "Well Scarlet O'Whora, what do you have to say for your self now?"

Liz turned to him still behind the fan. "Sir I have not the foggiest idea what you are talking about."

"Very funny Liz, where did you get the fan?"

Liz turned the fan around and on the back in folded letters was the word PLAYBOY. "I figured that with all the airheads in here it might make a cool fan." She reached in her apron and pulled out two dozen more. "It's amazing what you can do with a tin trunk full of playboys. Martha Stewart eat your heart out." Liz smiled at his pale face. "Don't worry your pretty little head Kyle, in a few months you to can change things with your mind. Kyle, get up this is not funny."

Kyle awoke a few moments later to the heads of sixty models fanning him. "You are a dead girl Parker. Change them back now."

"Sorry, can't right now. You see I figure the punishment should fit the crime. They were spread eagle, so I spread them across fifty fans. You really should have seen the looks on those boys faces as I handed them out while we were walking around the school. I am certain to have a lot of 'FANS' when we go tomorrow."

Liz jumped out of the way when he lunged for her. "I am so going to enjoy ripping your alien head off Liz. That was not even funny. That cost me a months work at the garage. Forgive me Buddha but Liz must die."

The sounds of electrical surges and screams could be heard on the front porch. When Julia walked out she nearly fainted. "Child what the he... Oh my god you two are glowing."

That stopped the fighting. Liz looked down at the green lighting streaks that crossed her skin. Kyle looked at the red and squealed.

"This is all your fault Parker. I am not supposed to be an Alien yet. Damn you, damn you." Kyle sat down and sulked as the energy finally started to fade away.

Liz stood up and smirked. "I have been able to do this for over a year bucko. About time you should feel the touch."

The clearing of her throat earned Julia two confused horrified expressions. "Some body want to tell me what is going on here?"

Kyle and Liz pointed to the other and in unison shouted. "He/she started it."

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posted on 13-Feb-2002 4:17:09 AM
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Part 9 Well if you're not a witch what are you? I'm a girl... What's that?



Kyle could only Listen in horror while Liz relayed all the information about her transformation to her aunt. "This is not happening. I am not going to turn in to an alien. I am a normal boy. I have a happy life ahead of me. I am not going to grow antenna."

Michael patted his back and smiled down on him. "You just keep telling yourself that."

When Kyle looked up at Michael he squealed and passed out.

Liz slapped Michael on the arm. "That is not funny. Change them back." Liz waited while Michael turned her head band from a set of flesh colored antennae in to their silvery balls.

"Well sooorrrryyyy. I just thought it would be fun. I mean it's not like you are using them Lizzie Bopper."

"How many times have I told you not to call me that? Do you think I don;t know what it means. I am not a teeny bopper sasquatch."

Michael messed her hair and smirked. "Sure you are. Why else would you listen to pop music?"

"One Brittany song and I am labeled a teeny bopper, I don't think so. How would you like it if I called you a large pile of dog sh..."

"That will be enough children. Lets get back to the matter at hand. So you are telling me that this Kotex person healed you and now you are an alien." Julia looked dumb-founded as the group in her kitchen started to laugh at her. "What, what did I say?"

"I said his name was Maxie Pad. His real name is Max not Kotex." Liz was laughing she was crying. "I said I was now a hybrid not an alien. There is a big factor, I am still human."

"Cool. What now?" Julia was starting to get flustered.

"You did not just say that. Oh my god she did."

"So now you are a valley girl Liz. Would you just pick an annoying personality and get it over with." Michael was silenced by a suddenly set of burning eyes. Holding up his hands in submission he backed away.

"What ever, lets just go to bed. You all have school tomorrow and Jim and I have a big day planned. Now move it." Julia walked to the door and stopped in the arch. "Oh and seems how you put him out Michael you can revive him. If he does not wake up soon carry him to his bed." With a evil grin she left the room.

Michael grumbled as he tried to wake Kyle. After slapping Kyle's face red he picked him up by the arms and dragged him through the house. he reached the edge of Kyle's bed and decided a little Alien magic would work here. He was pleasantly surprised when Kyle did not explode. When in the bed he had to undress him, which he only agreed to after he was threatened with death by a still cramping Liz.

Kyle awoke to the sight of a six foot two blond and blue alien in his pants. He screamed as Michael pulled his pants off by the waist band. "Get away from me you gay alien freak." He curled up in to a ball and slid to the edge of the bed.

Michael started to rage at the ignorant human. With a seductive smirk he formed his plan. He crawled cat like over the bed purring to Kyle. "Oh come on human you know you want to try it with an alien. You know sex between human and hybrid is better between humans. Come to think about it you are a hybrid now, that's even better." When he reached Kyle's side he ran hand up Kyle's arm. "You are so sexy, Kyle, you make me sweat." He inched his face closer to Kyle's and came nose to nose with him. "Come on let me make you scream."

And Kyle did.

"Oh get over yourself Valenti. I wouldn't touch you if your life depended on it." Michael backed across the bed and on to the floor. There he retrieved the missing pants and threw them at Kyle. "Next time Liz tells me to help you get ready for bed or else, I will go for the or else. Good night you homophobic hermaphrodite."

"I am not gay!" Kyle called out as the light went out. "What is a herm afro rite?"

"A hermaphrodite you Neanderthal is a person with both male and female genitalia."

"I do not have those genitalia thingies, male or female."

Michael smirked. "That much is obvious."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You have no balls! Now shut the hell up or I will fry your ass with my death blaster."

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Next day at the bus stop Liz was getting excited about riding the bus for the first time, Kyle was pissed about the not having a car part, and Michael was suspiciously eyeing Kyle. Kyle turned and scowled at him. Michael made a kissing motion and Kyle went pale.

"Guys give it up I know you want each other." Liz stopped laughing as the two hybrids started to get the electrical storms in their skin. "Okay, jeesh can't you take a joke."

The bus arrived shortly after that. The driver chewed her gum loudly until Liz whispered some thing about a cow and it's cud. Shortly the hybrid trio found that walking was way over rated.

"I can't believe it, Late on our first day. All because Liz can't keep her mouth shut." Kyle glared at Liz who sunk behind her books.

"What I just made a scientific observation."

"Calling the driver a cow was not a scientific observation." Michael glared at her too.

"I made an innocent comparison of her to a cow and she blows the whole thing out of proportion." Liz sighed as they entered their first class. The whole turned to stare at them. "What haven't you ever seen a new student before?"

The class of wide eyed yokels as Kyle called them shook their heads no.

"Great we are in the twilight zone. If they offer me a little slug creature that is supposed to go in my ear I am killing them all." Kyle remarked quietly to Liz and Michael.

"Shut up we are the Aliens here or do I have to prove it to you again light bulb boy?"

Liz froze him with a look. She turned back to the class. "High I am Liz the TA and these are your new Peers."

Kyle and Michael smirked waved a hand and walked to a couple empty seats.

Liz looked around the room and took the TA's desk next to the teachers empty one. "Okay, now that the cricket chorus has had it's practice where is the teacher?" More silence. "Hello any one home?" Still nothing. "People of earth, I am the Liz, the most powerful weapon in the two universes. Okay so none of you watch Lexx."

"You know the Luther shit?" A sneer from a snaut.

"Yes I know the Luther shit. He is not that bad but I was talking about the TV show. You know the dead guy, the love slave and the Lexx the flying talking space bug. Never mind good culture is wasted on you." Liz sat disgustedly in her chair and waited for the Teacher to show up. After fifteen minutes Liz had had enough of the silence. She walked over to the black board and drug her nails down it. The resulting clamor made her sigh with relief. "So you are not statues. What in hell is going on here?"

"We were told to keep silent unless asked a question we felt comfortable answering. We just have not felt comfortable answering any of yours yet." A jock in a letterman's jacket stood up and smirked at her.

Liz read the name on his jacket. Her eyes narrowed in silent rage and recognition. "Ah the lesbian's girlfriend."

He started to come forward. "What the hell did you call me?"

"I really can't see what she sees in you. I mean you are kinda butch for a girl."

Whitney was stopped by almost two hundred pounds of alien wrestler. "Touch her and you die."

Whitney got in his face. "You threatenin me?"

"No just warning you, she is a psycho. She had a few run ins with your girl. Her first meeting left Lana resembling a victim of a exploding pasta sauce. Next she chased her with a frying pan and would have pounded her if not for Clark." When Whitney went bright red in anger he smirked. "I see you know our local hero," he pointed at Liz. "and her boyfriend. Just a little tip, the last guy who pissed her off is sitting in jail with more than a few bruises."

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posted on 19-Feb-2002 10:59:25 PM
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Part 10 If I only had a brain.....



"Oh so what are you gonna do about it? You going to hit me you little shrimp." Whitney pushed Kyle back in to the row of desks.

Kyle stood brushing himself off. "As a Buddhist it is my religion not to harm people unless provoked. You pose no serious threat so no I will not retaliate."

"Well that's just too bad midget boy. We are going to have to see what you do consider a serious threat." He pushed Kyle again and again. "Personally I say you are nothing but a chicken. Babock Berbock Berbertttt...." Whitney took a nose dive after the book slammed in to his face.

Kyle looked down and noticed the title, 'Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, Teachers Edition.' He bent down and picked up the book and groaned at it's weight. Walking to the front he smiled at Liz who was looking at her hands. "People are going to wonder how a thirty pound book flew across the room like a jet." He whispered to her when he got to her side.

"Actually it has happened before. The last time it took off was in 1975, a rather ignorant jock thought it best to try and test the limits of his fellow students. Needless to say Jonathan Kent learned his lesson and never did it again. Let us hope that Whitney never needs a repeat performance."

Kyle and Liz stood stunned in to place by a woman who appeared to be in her seventies.

"Hello there I am Mrs. Abernathy, the English teacher." She extended her hand and smiled.

Liz took the offered hand and returned the grin. "I am Liz your new Teaching Aid if you will have me."

"Well so far I like your style Liz. My hope is that it will not become an every day event." Mrs. Abernathy turned to Kyle. "Well young man please take your seat, I have a class to teach."

Kyle innocently stubbed his toe on the still sleeping Whitney. "oops sorry didn't see you there."

"Uh Mr. Turnough and Mr. Lasmont please take Whitney to the nurses office. Tell her that he had to face a few words that did not appeal to his nature. I am sure she remembers the last time." With a heavy sigh she took her seat and point Liz to hers. "All right class, you have all met Kyle Valenti and Liz Parker. Whom you have yet to meet is Michael Guerine. Please stand up and tell us a little about yourself."

Michael stood and smirked at the class from his corner. "Michael, former Roswellite. Not an alien, don't know any aliens, never seen an alien. Six two, eyes of indeterminate color, ten inches. If you can take it I can give it."

"Ah a smart ass."

"That too when you ask for it." Michael grinned at the girl who said it.

The bell rang and Mrs. Abernathy dismissed them through the fits of laughter. The class had no idea what she, Liz and Kyle were laughing at.

One of the jocks got angry at the lack of insight and decided to confront Michael. "What in hell is so funny?"

Michael looked him in the eyes and smirked. "I aint tellin if you can't figure it out."

"Fine be a prick, but what was this ten inches bullshit and if you can take it I can give it? What are you messed up or somethin?"

Michael stopped walking and looked the guy up and down. "The ten inches you definitely will never get. Though you were close with your first guess. As for the last, you aint my type."

The shocked jock stood there speechless as his girl made eyes at Michael. She gasped when he rolled his tongue at her. Shortly after she left the moron statue and tailed after Michael.

As Michael and Liz were about to head in to their next class he released a yelp as his but was pinched in fifteen different locations. He turned around and smirked as the large group of girls waved and went down the hall.

As they took their seats Liz and Michael looked at their lab partners. Liz perked up and Michael laid his head in his hands. She turned to him and nudged him.

"What was that all about, and why is there notes with numbers taped to your ass?"

"One innocent comment and you are branded for life." He whispered with out lifting his head.

"Hello Michael, so I hear you can give it. I can take it, wadda ya say?"

"Chloe leave him alone. You are the biggest flirt in the class. Guess I am lucky that you don't flit with me." Clark smiled at Liz dreamily.

Chloe scoffed at his behavior and statement. "Flirt, hell Clark I could strip naked and do the twist and you still think I was trying to gossip with you."

"Yeah sure Chloe. Listen I have to show the new girl some things in the lab. Why don't say what you just said to Michael. I am sure he would love to hear your gossip." Clark lead a laughing Liz towards a closed door in the back of the room.

Michael perked up and was at her side in an instant. "So is that a scientific experiment you are pulling on him?"

"Actually I am just proving how much he really pays attention. But I do have an experiment I would like to try. For purely scientific reasons of coarse."


"Of coarse. What kind of experiment would it be?"

"Well let's see. It is a comparison of sorts." She grinned seductively at him.

"What are the subjects of the comparison?" He gave her smirk number ten, the 'Don't you just want to eat me cause I want to you.'

"Well subject a would be you, and subject b," she looked down at his crotch, "would be a horse. Personally I think the horse would definitely lose."

"Well why don't we find out later. Why don't you give me your number and I will call you."

"Sorry but there is no room on your ass."

"Well there is always the other side of my message board."

"Oh I like how you think."

"I knew you would."

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Boom! Splash! Shatter!

"That was the uh, oh oh oh oh god, um oh yeah beaker set." Clark told Liz as another set of beakers went off the shaking table. "Oh god, that was next weeks lab experiment. So hot in here, oh hot. I never knew, wow. OH MY GGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!"

"Well that was nice, painful but nice."

"Oh, I am so sorry Liz. I forgot, this is your first time."

"Yeah, well it was yours too. So don't feel too bad. Give me a couple of days and we can try it again, only next time where protection."

"Holy shit I forgot. I am so sorry Liz."

"Don't be, I am in just ending my little monthly visitor." She wrapped her arms around his muscular chest. "Besides did you know this was good to help with the cramps?"

A sheepish Clark nods his head.

"Well that is nice to know. So how are we going to explain why we missed the rest of our classes before lunch and half of it?"

"What!?!"

"Yes, look at the time. Ow ow ow watch the hair. Not down there. Well looks like we are going to have to get dressed now."

"Why, lunch is only half way over?" Clark teases playfully.

"Because the principal would like to talk with both of you."

"SHIT!"

"CLARK!"

"LANA!"

"BITCH!"

"That is enough out all three of you. Ms. Parker and Mr. Kent watch your language and get dressed." The teacher left dragging a protesting Lana out the door.

Clark looked down at the thoroughly pissed Liz. "Well you can never say your first time was not memorable."

"Clark, honey, it's cold, and so are you."

"Well let's do some thing about that."

"Sorry, but that is not what I had in mind Clark."

"Right, okay so I will just go over there and get dressed." He lifted her off the table and pulled out of her.

"My god that thing was in me. I am surprised you couldn't tell what I was thinking."

"Was it oh oh baby, Clark you are the sex god?" He asked as he slid in to his pants.

Liz walked over and grabbed his little Kent and stuffed it in his pants and zipped really fast. Liz grinned at the broken zipper. "Well I guess you were hard."

"I think I really need to learn to wear briefs instead of boxers."

"Yeah the draft in here could make you sick. Here use your coat. Clark that is not what I meant. Though it does beat using a hanger."

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Oh come on you can't tell me you did not see that coming when he said he had to show Liz a few things. Puhsleez. This story is a work of PWP and angst. I will get around to the plot soon enough so get off your high horse girl. You know who I am talking about. Ass for the rest of you people you are just plain sick. Thank you, you are my kind of people. Luvs yas all.

Lopaka Tanu

posted on 3-Mar-2002 3:51:45 PM
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Part 11 Click your heels together three times and repeat after me, there's no place like home. There's no place like home, there's no place like home...



"Now Ms. Parker I realize that you are new here and probably are unaware of all of our rules but there are some things we just don't do. You are perfectly aware that this is one of them. Frankly I expected more from some one of your grade and skills..." A knock at the door caused the principal to lose track of what he was saying and have to answer it.

Clark turned to Liz. "Frankly I am impressed with some one of your grade and skill. Where did you learn to do that thing with your tongue?"

Liz just smiled and winked. Before she could reply further the principal came back finish dressing her down.

"Now as I was saying you came highly recommended for the TA position in Mrs. Turnough's class. If you keep this up I will not only have to take that position away from you but expel you from school. But seems how this was your first offence I believe I can let it slide." He sighed heavily then turned to Clark. "As for you Mr. Kent, I am shocked that you would even consider doing this. You were always such a quiet and polite boy. All I can say is that this had better not happen again or I will put you in the same position as Ms. Parker. I am not going to let either one of you off with out some form of punishment so I am assigning each of you a buddy or monitor.

"They will guide you and report on your behavior while in the school. Step out of line again and they will report it. Mr. Kent I am assigning Lana Lang as your monitor for the next month. Ms. Parker I am assigning our star athlete, Whitney Fordman. He is a model student a role model for our younger pupils. I expect you both to be on your best behavior for the rest of your stay here as students of this school. Oh and before you go, I have contacted your parents and placed this incident in your permanent records. You are dismissed."

Liz walked with Clark to their next class which was half over. Along the way she kept smiling for no apparent reason, that is unless you knew where Clark's hand was. They stopped her locker before they went on to class to get her books. Liz dropped a book and bent down to get it. Groaning at the site of Liz Clark turned and looked away.

Liz immediately knew what was wrong with him. Seductively she bent at the waist and hiked her skirt up. "Clark can you help me with some thing? I can't seem to remember, is it bent at the waist or bend at the knee when picking some thing up?"

Clark picked her up and placed her against the open locker, grinding in to her. "I think you are supposed to bend at the knee, but that's just my opinion."

"Excuse me but what are you two doing?" Lana barged up to them.

Liz smirked at her, reached a hand behind her in to the top of her locker grabbed her lunch sack and held it aloft to the girl. "I wanted to get my lunch. He offered to help me get it down while I offered to help him get it up."

Lana huffed at her. "Get up what exactly?"

Liz smirked at her. "If you can't figure that one out, you don't need to know. Come on Clark, we have to go to class." Easing down from her perch Liz rubbed suggestively against Clark. "Bye Lana, I'll be seeing your boyfriend later, but for now Clark and I have some extra curricular activities."

As they walked down the hall they heard Lana vent her anger on a bunch of helpless lockers. Just before they reached class a couple of jocks passed by. "Hey Clark, heard you got some T and A from the new TA. Congrats man."

Liz just burned them with her look and they walked off like scared animals. Inside the classroom was a different setting. The class went silent as the two late arrivals walked in. Regarding them with contempt Liz pulled Clark in to the back and sat at the same table as he did. All through the class they were given stares that ranged from amused to pure scorn, that came from Lana.

Liz sighed after class was over, one more and she would be home free. Looking at her class sheet she smacked her head against her palm repeatedly say the word stupid. Red faced she entered her last class and took a seat in the back of the room. All eyes were on here.

A short blond stood at the head of the class and welcomed every one to the new semester of Journalism and Media studies. In other words, the local gossip fence. She handed each of her fellow students a piece of paper discussing the rules and the how-to's of the school paper.

"All right seems how we are going to be working together here as a team to put out our paper we need a few stories. Any body got any?" Chloe looked around the room.

One of the primpets that were at Lana's table raised her hand. "I heard that our sports reporter and the new girl got some."

Chloe looked at Liz and Clark expectantly. Clark looked at his books finding their glossy shine not shiny enough. Liz was taking notes. As she looked around the room she would quickly write some thing on her pad. When she noted Lana and her girl friends she wrote a couple more notes then closed her book.

"Well Liz, do you have a story you would like to discuss?" Chloe knew she was twisting the knife but she liked seeing Clark squirm.

"Actually I do. You see there has been an increase in crime here lately. Smallville being the epicenter of this little spree has led me to believe there may be more than there seems. But what I find most interesting is the fact that most of the victims are annoying high school girls. Now I believe if my calculations are correct several more are due to die very soon." With her last statement she sent evil glares at most of the class. Their silence was all she needed to know her point got acrossed.

"Okay, well that was interesting, any body else got some thing they want to report on?" Chloe looked about the room in a frantic gaze. "Any one?"

Lana stood up with an evil smile. "I do, TA's, substitutes or Prostitutes?"

Liz stood with an equal smile. "Popular girls: How do they get that way, an in-depth piece on Locker Room talk."

Lana's glare was on death ray level eight. "Transfer students, trouble or trash?"

Liz laughed at her. "The writings on the stalls: The truth behind a popular girl's rise to fame."

Lana stormed out of the class unable to make a better comment. The class erupted in to laughter a Liz sat down and went back to work on her notes. The rest of the class was uneventful.

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After school Liz road with Clark in his delivery truck while Michael and Kyle road with their new friends. They stopped along the road twice due to extreme hormonal imbalances and had to deal with them. Liz was feeling much better afterwards and Clark looked a little pale so she ended up having to make the deliveries for him. The last stop before her Aunt's farm just happened to be Lex's house.

Liz pulled in to the drive watching for snow as she did. She parked and looked to Clark, he still was passed out so she decided to take in this last one for him. Upon entering the large house she was greeted by empty rooms. It appeared no one lived here, so she decided to take a look around.

For the most part it resembled a museum minus the velvet ropes and glass cases. Upon reaching the inner chambers she saw lights flashing under a door. Curiosity piqued at what kind of man lived here she cracked open the door.

"I told you, the names are Liz Parker, Michael Guerine, Kyle and Jim Valenti. Find out what connections they have with Clark Kent. Yes I know this goes beyond what I originally agreed upon. No, I want to know what they are doing here. Well what do you have on them? You are sending it to me now via E-mail, are you sure that is wise? Fine get cracking on it until you have more. I don't care what it costs, find out what they are hiding." With that he slammed the phone down.

With horror ran searching until she came across what she was searching for, the breaker box. With a controlled blast she sent enough energy to overload his entire house. "Get cracking on this Mr. Luthor." Leaving the house she made a mental note to keep a closer eye on Lex in the future.

When she tried to get the truck started it just whined and smoked. Looking around for watchers she touched the engine and it jumped in to life. After slamming the hood she climbed back in the truck and failed to notice the shocked look on the owner of the property as he watched from his second-story window.

"Well, well, what else are we hiding Ms. Parker?" A tall man with long shoulder length hair watched as Liz drove away. He turned away at the sound of his son's voice and scowled at him. "You really must learn to install a back up system Lex. Don't make me remind you again how important it is to have redundancies."

Lex growled a yes father at Lionel then left the room. He was going to get rid of him soon. "Yes Father, must never forget your lessons. Especially the one about getting rid of any one or thing that stands in your way."

Lionel smiled as he listened to his son. With solid black eyes he turned back to the window and watched the truck exit the drive. "Such a good boy, always makes me proud."

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You wanted plot so here it is. What do you think? Too much?

posted on 17-Mar-2002 11:50:04 AM
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part 12 Fly my pretties Fly, ah ha ha ha ha ha.



Liz sat in the truck resting her head on the steering wheel. She was dreading going in to the house and confronting her aunt. This was hell, the torture of waiting and the unexpected. She sighed as she felt Clark's hand on her back trying to sooth her. Liz started to laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"I don't even know any thing about you, and I jumped your bones in the middle of biology."

Clark smiled at her that made her want to take him then and there. "What did you wish to know?" He smiled when he noticed a look in her eyes.

Thirty minutes later they were stumbling to get inside the house. Upon entering the kitchen they were ambushed by the rest of their gang and party favors.

Liz looked like a deer caught in headlights. "What is going on?"

"Happy first time sweety. Today you are truly a woman." Julia smiled as Liz turned bright red. "Bring out the cake. I had it specially made after the principal called me with the good news."

Liz watched in terror as the cake shaped like a woman's lower body spread wide was brought out with a single candle in the center. She stared in utter horror as the 100 percent accurate right down to the candy hairs was sliced and served to her and Clark's friends. When she was handed the clitoris on a plate she fell over backwards passing out.

Julia looked down on her with a smug grin. "Ah my work is done, who wants seconds..."

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The next day at school.

Liz walked with Clark hiding her face from the crowd. "I can't believe she did that. I mean the cake was bad enough but when I came to she gave me a basket of condoms, spermicide, and certificates for birth control pills. She even set me up with a doctor for an IUD. I am so going to kill her."

Clark hung his head in shame. "I am sorry for running out on you after you passed out. But don't feel bad, my dad and I had the talk."

"Did either one of your parents higher a clown to make balloon animals from condoms or have a Sex ED instructor teach you fifteen ways to make your sex life creative and happy?" Liz bristled with anger as another student went by laughing. "What hell is your problem?"

The student backed away with his hands held high.

Clark watched in a slight bemused tone. "So what exactly did this instructor teach you?"

"I don't want to spoil the surprise." Liz purred at him.

Clark swallowed. "What surprise would that be?"

Liz looked at him with an evil glint in her eyes. "My aunt called your parents and tonight you are getting the full course yourself."

That was all it took, Clark hit the floor causing a minor quake which cracked the floor.

Liz grinned at him smugly. "Oh yeah, pay back is a bitch, baby."

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"So what exactly is it you can do for me?" Lionel folded his hands and watched the young man that was more than a little arrogant.

The young man smirked at him. "I can tell you all their dirty secrets. Give you all you want."

"How do you know what I wish to know?"

"That nosy lawyer got to close to my secret so I took care of him. He had some interesting files on you Mr. Luthor." He sat back in the chair and folded his hands. "You really should learn to keep certain things more private."

Lionel put a finger over his lips in quiet contemplation. "So what exactly do you wish in return for your services?"

The young man smiled and leaned forward. "The girl is mine. The others you can have. I don't care about them, the girl on the other hand is very... Unique."

Lionel smiled back at him and put out his hand to shake. "You have a deal Mr...."

"Antar, Max Antar."

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