posted on 4-May-2002 1:54:23 PM by Krazykitti
Title: Rediscovering You
Author: Krazykitti
Disclaimer: Me no own Roswell or any of the songs I use in this fic
Rating: PG-13 to R
Summary: Caleb Johnson has been watching over Isabel and very desperately wants her back. He will also reverse all the damage that has been done and reunite Max & Liz, Michael & Maria, and set Kyle up with someone special. (Also I don't really know how the Airforce works, but I'll just make it up as I go along I mean this is fiction)
Coupling: Mostly A/I, but is ALL CC
Spoilers: During and after the eppies "Crash" and before and during "Four Aliens & A Baby" with a few twists
Author's Note: This may be a little confusing at first, but everything will be cleared up throughout the fic. Also my fic Band Geeks and The Prophecy are on a slight hiatus right now because I'm having some major writer's block with Band Geeks and I'm having trouble wording the next part to The Prophecy.
Feedback Would Kindly Be Appreciated!!!!!!!
*Part 1* (Song: Hoobastank- To Be With You)

Make me feel again
Slide across my skin again
Let me uncover you
To rediscover you

Just watching her with him makes me sick. I wish I hadn't pushed her towards him. You're probably asking why the hell did I push her towards him in the first place? If I didn't she wouldn't have moved on and that's the key to my plan.

And I will open up
If you promise to give in
On this perfect night
Let the two of us be one

I've noticed over the past year that she has become closed off like she once was before and that she never really mourned my supposed "death". With the anniversary of my death coming up, I wouldn't doubt if she has a nervous breakdown along with all the alien shit that's about to go down in Roswell.

We will be again another time
No matter what all the others say
'Cause I would leave it oh so far behind
Just to be with you today

With her being so isolated from everyone because of her marriage, there's only one person who will really understand her breakdown, and that's me. I'm the only one that can help her and maybe Liz too, but Liz has gone through enough crap as it is. With the "change" and getting her powers and all.

Right now we're getting everything set-up. When I mean "we're" I mean the Airforce. Yes, I'm in the Airforce. When I mean "set-up" I mean the podium and shit for the speech about Griffin and all. That's really sad that his daughter thinks he's dead. I know exactly how he feels right now, but I can't let my emotions get in the way of my missions, especially since I'm going to be presenting a speech in about an hour or two.

I bet everyone in Roswell is going to be watching this hoping that it was a UFO. Which it was, but no one can know that...yet. I know for sure Isabel will be watching and her, Max, and Michael will be hoping it's something totally different. God, I miss her.

So make me feel again
Feel your every breath again
Nevermind everyone
There's only me and you

We will be again another time
No matter what all the others say
'Cause I would leave it oh so far behind
Just to be with you today

The main reason I'm doing this is for her. For Isabel. Especially since I know that that UFO that crashed along with Griffin was carrying Tess and 'Max's kid'. I don't count Tess as the mother of that child. Max will be happy to get him back after all this time. Even though he shouldn't have been so open about his search, I'm surprised he hasn't gotten himself killed yet. Even though he will soon if he doesn't tell his parents the truth. In my opinion, I think it's a lot easier to get away with stuff if your parents know. I better get back to work or I'm going to get my ass kicked by my commander, but before I do this I'm going to go check on Isabel.

I then go to a more isolated place and astral project to her apartment. I make sure she can't see me. She's organizing her apartment. Well there's a clue right there that she's worried. I just look her up and down noticing that she has also lost weight. My Izzy is wasting away and she doesn't look happy, but that will all change soon. The group all need each other and I will be the one to repair that rift that Tess has caused them.

We will be again another time
No matter what all the others say
'Cause I would leave it oh so far behind
Just to be with you today so,
We will be again another time
And I will do what I need to do
To leave the others all so far behind
Just so I can be, Just so I can be
With You ( 7x )

So what do you think?

[ edited 5 time(s), last at 6-Sep-2002 9:27:18 PM ]
posted on 5-May-2002 6:10:26 PM by Krazykitti
*Part 2* (Song: Hoobastank- Let You Know[You can tell I like the band Hoobastank, can’t ya? LoL] Also this part is both from ^Alex^ and Isabel’s POV (Basically Isabel’s random thoughts). The next part is from Michael’s POV.)

I just thought that I’d let you know
That although I’m far
I’m close to you within
And all the time spent by your side
Is taken deep in me
Held for me to keep
To look upon when I’m feeling like
Everything and one
Is hurting me for something or other
It takes me to a better place
Nowhere I’d rather go
Thought I’d let you know

Well I’m done cleaning, but this apartment looks so empty without the furniture. “Thank God Jesse is gone with my dad for the day."

I really want to be alone today. I feel like screaming. I have a lot on my mind and I’m hungry, but I have no appetite. “I’m cold, really cold.” It feels like there’s someone else in here with me, but it’s probably just my imagination. I haven’t seen Alex since the night I got engaged. Sometimes I wonder if he really was a figment of my imagination.

^I’m here Isabel. She looks so pale and thin. I wish I could just take her in my arms and hold her until all her insecurities and fears go away.^

Who you are
What you do
Makes me burn
To be in you (be in you)
Who you are
And what you do
I’m burning to be in you

I just thought that I’d let you know
Being near you is
A gift I only wish I could treasure
But for now I sit and wait
I’m still burning though
Thought I’d let you know

Who you are
What you do
Makes me burn
To be in you (be in you)
Who you are
And what you do
I’m burning to be in you

“Why can’t you be here Alex? I need you. I’m having a lot of trouble focusing lately and it feels like I’m suffocating.”

^Oh God. Now I really want to appear, but I can’t. She’s starting to cry. Damn it!!!! I’m so sorry Isabel! My eyes are starting to water just watching her cry out for me.^

“Where are you?! I know you can hear me, but why aren’t you appearing to me anymore?! I feel like I can’t go on anymore, but I know I have to stay strong, and it’s getting harder each and everyday to do so!!!! Why can’t you be here with me?! Why did that stupid, fucking mindwarping, hussy have to murder you?! I need you. If I ever see Tess again, I swear I’m going to kill her.”

It feels like I’m falling
I’m all on my own
Thought I’d let you know
It feels like I’m falling
I’m all on my own
Thought I’d let you know

^She’s on her knees crying. Phase 1 of her breakdown. She uses her powers to change her hair to what it use to be, long and blonde. I just want to run my hands through it. She’s so fragile. If someone triggers the wrong button with her in this next week, she’ll crack. She’s already loosing it. I better go before I end up doing something that I may regret.^

Who you are
What you do
Makes me burn
To be in you (be in you)
Who you are
What you do
I’m burning to be in you
Who you are
What you do
Makes me burn
To be in you (be in you)
Who you are
And what you do
I’m burning to be in you

posted on 21-Jul-2002 8:41:47 PM by Krazykitti

*Part 3*
Michael POV

God, what has happened? I can’t believe all that has went on this year and now this. First the whole robbery thing with Max and Liz, Me getting a 2nd job (what the hell was I thinking?), Isabel and her marriage to Jesse, Khivar, Maria breaking up with me.....I miss her. I realize that now. I know I’ve gone totally off subject, but I can’t help it. I want her back, but I don’t know if she wants me back.

I’m at that speech thing about the crash I saw last night. There’s this guy talking right now. He looks pretty young to be a commander. Anyway, what was I saying...oh yeah....Maria. I just wish that I could start things over, show her that I do care about her and don’t want to hold her back, but I do want her to have a normal life. There’s too much that has happened for us to get back together. I don’t know! What am I going to do?

I guess I was so caught up with my thoughts I didn’t realize that the thing has ended. The guy that was talking comes up to me. He is young. Now that I see him more closely.
“You okay?”, he asks me.
“Yeah, yeah. I guess I just spaced out.”
“Well I better get back to my place and Michael?”
“Try to be friend’s with her. Give her some time and she’ll come around. Don’t push her. Just be calm and rational. Maria is a sensitive person and doesn’t like being hurt or held back. Oh and her favorite kind of flowers are carnations.”, He walks off.
“Wait a minute?! How do you know my name?” I turn around and he’s gone. That was a little freaky. Also, how does he know Maria? He did give a lot of good information though. Maybe it’ll work.

I go to the flower shop and buy her a bouquet of white carnations with purple-dyed rims.
“I hope this works.” I write her a letter in my neatest handwriting and I’m now at the door to her house. I then put the letter in an envelope attached to the bouquet of flowers and ring her doorbell and run. I don’t think I can face her, if this doesn’t work.

Maria POV

“Maria! Answer the door!”
“Okay mom!” I get up and answer the door and see no one there. I look down and see a bouquet of... oh my gosh...are those carnations? I pick them up and see an envelope attached that says Maria.
“Who could this be from?” I go and sit down on the couch and open the envelope.
“Who are those from?”
“I don’t know. I found them outside the door with this (holds up envelope) attached.”
“Maybe it’s from Michael.”
“I seriously doubt that.”
“You never know Maria.”

Dear Sweet Maria,

How are you? I know that we haven’t been the best of friends and I’m sorry. I’m also sorry for throwing you out of the car and the way I reacted about not being king. I’m no king. I’m not perfect either. I know that in the past and present we haven’t had the best relationship and that I held you back. I miss you terribly! It’s torture without you being here. You weren’t only my girlfriend, but you were my best friend. With everyone being in their own little world lately, it’s been lonely.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately and I’m willing to try again. If you want to take me back that is. If you don’t, then can we at least be friends? I’m willing to change my ways ( not all of them of course) and be someone that you can talk to. I know that you have been lonely lately too and that’s why I’m willing to change myself for you. I will actually take interest in what you want to talk about and one of these days, if you’re willing to, I want to hear you sing and play your guitar. Please consider what I’m saying here because it’s a once in a lifetime deal. Please?

If you do consider this, meet me tonight at the quarry at midnight ( I know that it’s late, but it’s the only time I’m willing to). Don’t bring anything, but yourself.

If you don’t want to do this, then we can still be friends. Hopefully.

Love Always, Truly, and Faithfully,


“Oh my gosh. I can’t believe he actually did this. He also got me my favorite flowers.” I say as I’m bawling and smelling these beautiful carnations.
“Maria, you’ve changed him.” My mother says to me.
“I never realized it until now. I never realized how much he loved me.”
“If you do meet him tonight, I want you home by 2 A.M. sharp. If not, I’m calling the cops.”
“Okay mom.”

Walking outside past Maria’s house were 2 young men. One with spiky blonde hair and hazel eyes and the other with brown hair and green eyes.
“Hopefully, everything will go well for them.”
“Who’s next?”
“What about Max and Liz...and Isabel?”
“Max and Liz I think can handle themselves, but Isabel is going to be a challenge. I have to get her to admit something that she may not want to...yet.”
“What is that?”
“That she doesn’t love Jesse the way she thinks she does. That she’s still hanging on to me and that she needs me more than anything.”
“Basically breakdown.”
“Not really breakdown, more like...rediscover herself and what she truly wants and needs.”

posted on 23-Jul-2002 5:12:52 AM by Krazykitti
*Part 4* (Christina Aguilera- Reflections; Isabel POV; Next Day)

I’m so tired. I didn’t get too much sleep last night. I dreamt about Alex again. I haven’t heard from him in so long. I need to rest.
“Isabel? You okay?” Jesse asks me.
“Yeah. I’m fine. I just have a headache. I think I’m going to lay down.”
“Okay. You sure you’re okay?”
“Yes! I’m fine! Now stop asking!” Everyone has been asking me that lately and I’m sick of it. I can’t stand it anymore.
“Okay.” He says with a strange look on his face.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you, but I’m just tired.” And pissed, frustrated, and many other things I can’t even describe. I go back to the room, put the radio on, and lay down. I start hearing the music and I start to softly sing along.

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why

Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

Now I’m crying for about the 3rd or 4th time this week. That song reminds me of myself. I go into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. My mascara is running and I just look horrible. I change my hair back to the way it use to be. I wonder how many times I have changed my hair back and forth this week? I sit in the corner, with my knees huddled to my chest and just cry. Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Alex POV (Alex conversating with Zach)

“I have one problem about Kyle though.”
“What?” Zach says.
“Who? I mean who the hell am I suppose to put him with. I don’t know anybody.”
“Leave that to me. I know the perfect person.”
“Who?” I ask. Wondering who the hell he’s thinking of.
“My twin sister. Tara.” He says smiling.
“Why didn’t I think of that. She’s perfect for him. Wait a minute, where is she though?”
“She goes to Roswell Community College, you dumbass. She’s 18.”
“Okay and I’m not a dumbass.”
“Fuck you Zach. Now on with plan B. Getting Kyle and her together.”
“Like I said, leave it to me.”

posted on 27-Jul-2002 9:34:54 PM by Krazykitti

*Part 5*
Alex P.O.V.

“So how are you going to get them together? You better explain this fast because I have to get to the Airforce Base.”
“Okay, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to make 2 secret admirer notes. I’m going to put one in an envelope and put it in my sister’s mail box and I’m going to put one in Kyle’s locker at West Roswell. They are going to say a time and a place to meet. How’s that?”
“I think it’s one of the stupidest ideas I’ve ever heard Zach, but it might work. Also how are you going to get it into his locker?”
“My younger brother is a freshman at West Roswell. I can drop him off early and he can put the note in for me.”
“Okay. Well it’s your plan and I hope it works. I got to go. See ya.”
“Bye and don’t will!”

Zach P.O.V.

Meet me at the park at 8. I will be wearing a blue shirt and I have light brown hair. You’ll recognize me when you see me.

Your Secret Admirer

“If my sister finds out she’ll kill me. Hey Greg!”
“Do you know who Kyle Valenti is?”
“Yeah. He’s one of the most popular guys in school.”
“Do you know which locker is his?”
“Yeah it’s a few from mine.”
“Well little bro, can you put this in his locker?”
“None of your business. It’s for Tara. If you tell her, you die.”
“Okay...I will.”
“Thank you.” One down, one to go. It’s a good thing I can forge my sister’s handwriting perfectly.

Meet me at the park at 8. Don’t bring anything, but yourself. I’ll be sitting on the bench by the pond. I’ll be wearing my letterman jacket.

Your Admirer from Afar

“God, that sounds sappy...perfect.” Well now I need to put this in my sister’s mail box.

(Next Day at School)
Kyle P.O.V.

“Hey Kyle. Whatcha reading?” Maria asks me. Why is she so happy?
“Just this note I found in my locker.”
“Ooh, what is it?!” Maria says.
“Hey. What’s up?” Liz says.
“Kyle was about to tell me what that note is he has in his hands.”
“Ooh. I want to hear this.”
“It’s a note from my secret admirer.”
“You have a secret admirer?!” They say.
“I guess so. She said for me to meet her at the park tonight.”
“You must tell us after you get back. That is so romantic!” Maria says. Oozing with passion.
“What are you so happy about Maria?” Liz asks her. I was wondering the same thing.
“Michael and I are back together!”
“What?!” Liz and I say together.
“He wrote me the most romantic letter and got me my favorite flowers and everything. He asked me in the letter to meet him at the quarry at midnight and we talked like all night. I got home at 4. My mom was pissed, but I told her nothing happened that all we did was talk. Michael even vouched for me so I didn’t get into trouble! It’s one of the sweetest things he has ever done for me!” Maria says with cheerfulness. That’s when she sees Michael. “I got to go. See you guys later.”
“Bye.” We both say.
“That’s unbelievable.” I say. Guerin being sweet and romantic. Is the world ending by any chance?
“Wow. Good for Maria.” Liz says.
“And Guerin at that.”
“Well I hope things go well for you too Kyle. I got to go. Talk to ya later.”
“See ya.” I wonder who my secret admirer is?

(Tara’s Room)
Zach P.O.V.

“Hey Tara. What have you got there?”
“I have a secret admirer.” She says in her usual soft voice and starts to blush.
“You do? What does it say, sis?”
“That is none of your business, but since you’re my twin and one of my best friends I will tell you.”
She tells me what it says, even though I already know.
“I wonder who it is? I’ve never had a secret admirer before! What should I wear?” She says, her eyes lighting up.
“Wear that one blue shirt you love. You know the one that says Billabong across the top?”
“That would be perfect! Thanks for the advice, Zach!”
“That’s what brothers are for.” I say. I hope this all goes down well.

(That Night)

Tara P.O.V.

I’m walking through the park thinking about my secret admirer. I wonder who this mystery man is. From what he wrote he sounds romantic. God, I hope this isn’t some sick joke. No! It can’t be. I’m usually so rational, but I’m so....I don’t know how to put it. I see a guy sitting on a bench by the pond with flowers in his hand and he’s looking at his watch. It says Kyle on his letterman jacket. Oh my gosh is that him?

Kyle P.O.V.

Well it’s almost 8. I wonder if she’s the late type or the early type? I look down the sidewalk to see a girl coming up the walk with a blue shirt and she has light brown hair. That must be her. She comes up to me.
“Are you Kyle?” She asks me. She’s very soft spoken, but has a pretty voice.
“Yeah I’m Kyle.” I hand her the flowers. Also I don’t even know her name, but it says it on her necklace. “And you must be Tara?”
“Yes. Thank you for the flowers. You are a very good guesser.”
“Why do you say that?” I ask her as we start to walk around the park.
“Because red roses are my favorite. Also I’m a very predictable person as my brother says.”
“You have a brother?”
“Yeah I have 2. My twin and my little brother. He goes to West Roswell actually.”
“What grade?”
“He’s a freshman. You might know him. He played on the freshman football team. Greg Smith?”
“Yeah I do know him.”
“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
“No. It’s just me and my dad.” I really get a good look at her as we walk around town and the park and talk. She’s very pretty with light brown hair and these sparkling green eyes. She’s very soft spoken and gentle. She’s a little shorter than me and just seems like a free spirit. I really like her. She’s a little younger than me, but only by a few months and goes to the same community college as Isabel. She must be really smart, but doesn’t seem like the type to shove it in your face. I thought this night would be a bust, but it turned out to be a wonderful night. I walked her home and she kisses me on the cheek. “How about we go out again say...Friday night?”
“Sure. What time will you pick me up?” She says as she smiles sweetly.
“Around 7? We could go to the movies and then maybe go get something to eat after?”
“Okay. It’s a date. I will see you then.” She then goes inside and I start to walk home. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I thought I would be a bad date. I mean I haven’t dated in a while, but tonight was just extraordinary. I think I’m in love.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 27-Jul-2002 9:36:20 PM ]
posted on 6-Sep-2002 9:26:28 PM by Krazykitti
It's short, but it's better than nothing. Now! ON WITH THE FIC!

*Part 6* (At the Crashdown that same night)

Liz P.O.V.

Well Maria and I are cleaning the Crashdown and closing up. She hasn’t shut up about Michael since school this morning. That must have been some romantic note to have her so wound up.
“You know what?”
“What Maria?”
“Why are we always the ones stuck closing?”
“I don’t know. I’d have to ask my dad.” That’s when the bell on the door rings and Kyle comes in with this love sick look on his face.
“Hey Kyle! So how did it go? Is she pretty? Nice? Snotty?”
“Maria! Give Kyle a chance to sit at least before we interrogate him!” I say to her and we sit with Kyle. “Now tell us all about this secret admirer of yours and how your night went.”
“She’s the sweetest person I have ever met. She has these gorgeous, sparkling, green eyes with specks of brown in them and she has thin, but very soft light brown hair...”
“He sounds worse than when I was stuck with Max during the summer of hell!”
“Oh shut up Maria. Now what is her name and what did you guys do?” I ask excitedly.
“Her name is Tara. Isn’t that a pretty name? Anyway, we walked around the town basically and just talked and got to know each other. She’s sorta soft spoken and has 2 brothers. She also goes to the same community college as Isabel and is really smart. We’re going out again on Friday.”
“That’s so sweeeet!” Maria says with delight and hugs Kyle.
“So it’s sorta of a new beginning and feeling for you isn’t?” I ask him.
“Yeah it is. I mean it’s been a pretty fucked up past few years and this is one of the only times I’ve actually have had a life without the alien shit and having to worry about everything. It felt nice just to actually go out on a date with someone that you know that also cares about you and not having to have all the stress in your head confusing you and making wonder what is your purpose. Tara just made me feel like I was apart of something normal for once. I mean, It was really nice not to be alone, stuck at home listening to your dad’s problems for once.
“We’re happy for you Kyle and I hope that nothing happens to destroy that happiness.” I say as both Maria and I hug him.
“Yeah I hope so too. What the hell is up with all the hugging?” He asks with a look that started to make me laugh.
“Just us being us and you know that.” Maria says lightly hitting him.
“So, when do we get to meet this Tara?”