Title: Search For My Soul
Category: M/L, CC, FF
Summary: This is a challenge. The gang is searching for their souls. Everything up to Off The Menu in S2 happened but that’s it.
Rating: PG-13-NC-17


It’s June 9, 2005 and I’m Liz Parker. It’s been a really long time since I’ve had a journal. Well, to be honest it was another lifetime ago. It was when I was still Liz Parker, the smallest of small town girls. But she was killed four years ago. Now I’m Liz Parker, Hollywood starlett. How did this happen you ask? Well, about four years ago I, after the incident at the UFO center, I had to go on a date with Sean so he would keep his mouth shut about the incident. Big mistake. We went out and it was ok for a bit and a few laughs were had, but Sean stuck true to his juvie colors. As the night progressed something happened, I started feeling dizzy and sleepy. The next thing I know I woke up, lying naked on a bed in a hotel room. Sean was next to me snoring away with his arm across my body and smirking as if he accomplished a major goal. The bastard had raped me and he was so proud of himself. I had quickly dressed and left the hotel and went back home.

After I showered for an hour I sat in my room and contemplated my life and how it went so wrong so fast. I had lost the love of my life, wasn’t as close to my friends and feeling constantly alone. I felt the walls closing in on me. Feeling I had nothing left in Roswell and no future I gathered the things I felt were important to me or what I needed and left. I left a note for my parents and headed to California. I completed my senior year here and worked in a cafe. Funny thing was, that’s where I was discovered. This guy came up to me and asked if I wanted to be in a commercial. At first I thought it was a a pervert, but it turns out he was an agent. In a matter of months I was in over 300 commercials. Because of my commercials a producer took interest in me for his television show and in the blink of an eye I was in a sitcom. It lasted only one season but it was enough for me to launch my acting and modeling career. Through this all I had been in contact with my parents, while they were hurt the way I had left, they understood I needed my space and often visited me. But I never went back to Roswell or spoke to anyone from the gang. Not even Maria. I also never told anyone about Sean and what he had done to me.

Although I never went back to Roswell I was aware of what happened to everybody. I mean my house is a shrine to them. In my diverse musical collection I have Maria’s CD which just went platinum. The various pieces of art work decorating my house are a testament to Michael’s hard work and skill. There’s a particular abstract that I feel embodies Max and myself. It’s the first thing I see in the morning and the last when I go to sleep. My closet holds various Izzy Evans originals, I’ve even modeled some but have never seen Isabel. I have Alex’s computer programs. And of course within my video library are the two movies written and directed by Max, both with an alien theme. The romantic pairing did remind me of Max and myself, they were deeply inlove but obstacles kept them apart permanently. Well, more like the female character did by leaving him and disappearing. That part hit a little too close to home. So yes we all found our paths. But I’m alone in mine. I’ve been with other men, but I have slept with none. I could say it was because of what Sean did to me. Bit it wasn’t that. None of them have been like Max and none have touched my heart. Yeah Max Evans put a force on me and it’s still holding on. But since the “Liz” Max loved was murdered in a hotel room by Sean Deluca, we could never be. I always ask myself how I can live without my soul.

TBC??? Feedback please.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 22-May-2002 8:50:49 PM ]