posted on 27-May-2002 6:36:58 PM by Jiggers
Title: On the outside
CAT: - M/L ... Alternate Universe
Summary: Liz is 17 and moving to roswell to live with her Aunt Lily - whose twin daughters are Tess and Ava ... Michael is also her cousin ... Liz has a lot to hide and no self concept. WHo can open her up ... as if you didn't know
AN - Well I didn't send this to my beta ... just cause I'm itching to post it ...

______

Part One

I’d like to think that I’m not helpless. But after being told that I was for much of my childhood, well it’s hard to believe otherwise.

Just like trying to believe that I’m not good for nothing, or a waste of space.

I take a look around the bus station, searching for that familiar face, and then I hear her.

“Liz!” she yells in my direction.

I plaster on a fake smile pick up my bags and begin walking towards my Aunt Lily, its kind of hard looking at her and not crying.

See she’s my mother’s identical twin sister, and my mom, well she’s gone.

I set my bags down by her feet, “Hey Aunt Lil.”

She smiles at me and begins babbling, but I just tune her out and follow her to the car.

I retreat into my mind like I always do, I’m not really paying attention to her and I feel bad, but then again I really don’t.

My solace is in my own world.

Without warning the car stops in front of a restaurant. I look up, ‘The Crashdown’.

Did I mention that I got shipped off to Roswell, New Mexico to live with my Aunt and Uncle.

My mom used to tell me about her hometown, how the restaurant was family owned but after the crash of 47’ her mom decided to make it Alien themed.

We walk into the restaurant and all eyes turn on me.

A vaguely familiar blonde chic walks up to me with a perky smile.

“Hey Liz! We’ve been looking forward to your coming.” The blonde hugs me tightly and I’m trying to remember her name.

“Liz you remember your cousin Tess don’t you? Ava and Michael are around somewhere too.”

Then it clicks, the blonde twins and their older brother, the cousins. I had actually forgotten that I had family.

I know it sounds stupid, as will a lot of things that I say, but he made me forget.

“Sorry Liz it’s just been so long since I’ve seen you.” Tess looks into my eyes and I swear I see some sort of awareness in her eyes, like she knows. But she can’t know. No one can.
“It’s ok.” I squeak out.

“You have to meet all my friends, but first we’ll get you settled in. Your taking Michael’s old room, he moved out after he graduated but he’s still in town. Dating one of my best friend Maria.”

Tess continued to ramble on as I follow her up the stairs to my new home. I wonder how much Aunt Lily really knows about my father and me.

I wonder still if Tess knows, if they’ve told all her friends that I’ve been orphaned off at 17, I wonder.

She shows me into a room that’s obviously been cleaned up recently.

“Mom says that if you want to paint it we can, you can pick the color and all.”

She trails off as if she doesn’t know what to say.

“Liz. I don’t know what you’ve been through, and you don’t have to tell me. All anyone around here knows is that you’re our cousin and your living with us now. It’s up to you what you tell anyone. I hope you get along with my friends they are a great bunch but I understand if you don’t.”

I’m surprised by Tess, I remember her being the mean one of the twins and just as I’m wondering where Ava is, she come bounding up the stairs. Her hair is shorter than Tess’s with pink streaks, won’t be a problem telling them apart.

“Liz” she squeals. She comes over to me and gives me a tight hug, what’s with them? Way too perky for my taste.

They stand next to each other, both smiling huge perky smiles, and I resist the urge to groan.

“Sorry. I’m hyper today.”

“It’s fine.” I say back

“Have you introduced her to the gang yet?” Ava ask Tess.

“No, figured she could get settled in first.” Tess responds.

“Right so we’ll leave ya to it, just come down to the crash to meet the gang.”

I smile and nod.

And they leave FINALLY. I move all my bags into the room and close the door.

I go over to the window and look out, a balcony, well that’s pretty cool.

I begin to unpack my few belongings, putting stuff away.

I have this picture of my mom and me that I put next to my bed. I resist the urge to cry, it’s so hard without her.

Then I shake my head as if that would make the tears go away.

I notice the bathroom and go over to it, pulling my bag along with me.

I take out the razor and hold it close to my arm, my tears come again and I just can’t do it. I throw the razor in the sink and collapse on the floor.

I hear a knock on the door but I don’t have the strength to say anything.

“Lizziebear” I hear him. I want to scream for him to go away.

Before I know it he’s pulled me into his arms and is trying to calm me. Can’t he see I want to have a fucking breakdown.

“shhh…” he says soothingly.

I try to break free of his arms but he’s too strong, I look up into his eyes and see his genuine concern for me.

“Michael …” I choke out. He was always my favorite cousin, being 4 years older than me, he still never treated me like a kid.

I begin to calm down a bit and Michael takes me into the room and I sit on the bed.

I had actually seen Michael in the past couple of years He’d tried his hand at college at NYU and he stayed with us for a while. He became one of my favorite people.

He didn’t take my dad’s shit, and he saw right through mine, of course that was the downside, but I still loved him.

“You ok?” he asked carefully.

I nod and wipe the remaining tears away.

“I’m sorry… I just.”

He shakes his head at me.

“No need to explain Lizzie. No need.”

And he puts his arms around me again.

We sit there for close to a half an hour while I finish claming down.

“Did you have a good trip?” he asks with a half smile.

“Oh yeah, you know those grey hound busses are fabulous this time of year.” I roll my eyes sarcastically.

He laughs at my not so funny joke and I smile in spite of myself.

“Wanna come down and face the firing squad. Otherwise known as our bunch of friends.”

“You hang out with your sisters friends?”

“Eh yeah, they aren’t so bad. Sides Maria is my girlfriend.” He smiles and I can tell he cares about the chic.

We begin to walk down the stairs, and I notice that there aren’t many customers left, in fact the only ones in there seem to be a group of teenagers around my age.

“Liz!” I hear Ava squeal again, “you’ve finally come join us. Grab a seat.”

I look at Michael begging for help and he smiles at me.

Tess clears her throat and the whole table is quiet.

“Liz this is the gang. Max, Alex, Kyle, Sean, Maria, Isabel and Courtney.”

I wave at them and smile like the good little girl that I am.

I sit down and watch the group with sad eyes, they are all close, I feel like such an outsider.


[ edited 15time(s), last at 29-Sep-2002 10:29:41 PM ]
posted on 27-May-2002 7:50:12 PM by Jiggers
Kat - I can use all the feedback I can get ... I am your #1 fan afterall ... he he ... :D

Dancepixie - Yes I like Michael as a big brother type figure with Liz but his already being in Roswell was crucial to my plot so I settled for a cousin ... :D Had he been a brother he'd know too much about Liz's past soo that's the mystery everyone is dying to know ... I hope she doesn't hurt herself too but I never know where these things will go once I start writing ... I'm writing Liz a lot like myself ... or at least what goes through my head ... So yeah ... you never know ... thanks for the feedback :S
posted on 27-May-2002 8:12:57 PM by Jiggers
this is just for you Kat - from YOUr #1 fan teehee

_____________

Part 2

I’m still sitting here, watching the dynamics of this group.

Michael has his arms around a blonde girl, who I’m guessing is Maria.

What’s with the blondes, I swear, you’ve got Maria, Isabel – who I’ve figured out is the bombshell, and Courtney, all of them are blonde. And of course Tess and Ava – well Ava has the pink streaks but that’s beside the point.

The guys all seem nice enough, Kyle is the typical Jock type with a letter Jacket and all, but he doesn’t seem that bad.

Sean is a punk I can tell just from the way he’s sitting. I mean coming from New York you can pick them out of a lineup.

Alex is sweet, he keeps on cracking jokes, trying to make me feel comfortable. News Flash – NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.

I’m not comfortable in my own skin, let alone with a group of people I’ve never met.

Then there is Max, he looks like the silent brooding type, his eyes are deep and intense I bet a girl could get lost in them.

Whoa! Where the hell did that come from?

I shake the thoughts out of my head, which I have experience doing, the whole table is looking at me expectantly.

“Sorry, What?” I ask softly. Damn when did I start sounding so fucking vulnerable.

“Oh I just asked if you were excited about starting a new school?” The girl on Michael’s lap asked.

“Yeah I guess.”

Michael gives me a sympathetic look.

“Oh shit. Max take me home.” The blonde bombshell says coldly.

I didn’t notice her look at her watch but I guess she did.

I take that as my cue.

“I’m gonna finish unpacking. Later.” And I hightail it out of there.

I rush up the stairs and into ‘my room.’

I hadn’t realize how late it had gotten, but something about the fact that Max had looked at me and how he’d looked at me, it had freaked me out.

It was like he’d seen right through me.

Oh get a life Parker. A guy like that is not interested in seeing any part of you, not with the bombshell barking orders anyway.

I groan at my thoughts wishing they would go away.

I wish it would all go away. If I could even describe the despair that I feel when I’m alone, I think I’d make you cry.

But if I told you how alone I felt when I was around people it make you cry harder so I’m just gonna shut up and go to sleep.

*beep**beep**beep**beep**beep**beep**beep*

I groan and hit the alarm clock next to the bed.

*beep**beep**beep**beep**beep**beep**beep*

I sit up and throw the thing across the room.

Well at least I solved that problem, now for the next one.

I groggily make my way to the bathroom, so relieved that I don’t have to share. Luckily no nosy relatives came in asking about my hasty departure from fun time last night.

Of course that could be cause I pretended to be asleep when they knocked but that’s inconsequential.

After a nice warm shower I walk into my room. It doesn’t feel like my room yet. But I’m determined to make it mine.

I have a list of things to do. I need to go shopping for one, get a job, just so I can not do nothing all day once vacay gets here.

I’ve decided on nightfall blue for my room, just need to get Aunt Lily’s approval.

I go to my closet, which I was able to unpack last night after the dreaded twin check up.

It’s not that I don’t like my cousins, they are really nice, it’s just. Well they are too damn perky.

And though I’m quite, well now I’m quite, I have a sarcastic attitude, one that resulted in plenty of bruises after mom was gone.

But I’m not gonna think about that, cause … well I just can’t.

I pull on my black hip huggers and a deep blue tank top. My hair never cooperates so I just leave it down, with the whole mane of black hair falling down to my mid-back.

I grab my messenger bag and head to the kitchen.

“I hope she gets along at school ok.” I hear my Uncle Ed say.

I roll my eyes then walk in.

“Hey.” I say causally. Tess is sitting at the table with her dad, but they are alone.

She smiles at me, not quite as perky as the day before but still a little too sickening sweet for my taste.

“Want some breakfast?” Ed asks.

“Just an apple will be fine.” I say as I grab one off the counter.

I hear a horn honk and Tess gets up.

“That’s Max.”

I almost forget to breathe.

“Huh?” I ask.

“See Ava and I share a car, but she had to get to school early for some meeting or something, so Max is picking us up. It’s on his way.”

Tess grabs her juice swallows the rest of it and puts it in the sink.

She kisses her dad’s cheek, and motions for me to follow her out the side door.

“Have a nice day girls.” Ed calls to us.

“Thanks.” I call back.

Tess jumps in the back of Max’s Jeep, which looks like it shouldn’t even be allowed on the road by the way. Can you say Death on Wheels.

“It’s perfectly safe.” His warm voice soothes me.

Shit, stop that Parker.

I smile and get in behind the blonde bombshell, ok they are defiantly a couple.

Why does that bother me?

I get lost in my thoughts and barely notice when we make it to the school.

Max offers me his hand to get out of the car and I oblige.

It feels as though an electric current runs through me at his touch.

Snap out of it Parker. I think to myself.

Your damaged goods stop fooling yourself.


posted on 28-May-2002 1:51:54 PM by Jiggers
Kitcat26 You feel special cause you are special ... he he ... :D

roswellluver I hope Liz is comfy soon too ... I think it's gonna be a lot easier for her to be comfortable with each of them one on one ... cause you know how friends get when they are all together and she's not used to that.

Amberlra Liz has good reason to have the self-esteem problem, you'll find out slowly what hell her father really put her through.

dancepixie One thing you'll soon find out about Tess and Ava is that they mean well - but they are kinda wrapped up in themselves.

Transparent Clear Jenn - I love sarcastic Liz ... she's so much more real ... he he .. This next part I think is even better with her Sarcasm ...

I've started on part 4 ... but I'm a little stuck so hopefully it will be out tonight!

~Jigs

____________
Part Three

I’m in my first class at West Roswell High.

In actuality its 3rd period, but I had to go through so much shit when I got here.

Tess showed me to the office then went to meet up with Ava and the gang.

Listen to me I’m talking like I’m apart of that gang.

Michael’s girlfriend Maria is sitting next to me, she’s a trip.

She’s cracking on this girl at the front of the room, Pam something or other.

Apparently Pam’s West Roswell’s biggest slut, but whatever I don’t care.

I’m trying to remain elusive, cool, calm and collected.

Yeah, didn’t think you’d buy that.

What can I say I’m a barrel of laughs?

Maria is keeping me entertained, and she’s genuine, well she seems so, unlike some other people.

Sorry I forget you have no idea what I’m talking about.

It’s that chic Isabel. She’s a hardcore bitch from what I can tell.

She practically scoffed at Tess when she offered to show me the office.

I mean, I’ve never been here before, does she think I’m going to roam the halls in search of the office like a fucking damsel in distress.

She’s sitting in front of me as we speak. Every time I make any noise in response to Maria’s musings she turns around and glares at me like I’m not aloud to find Maria humorous.

I wonder how they can be friends with her, and that other girl Courtney, I can’t quite read her yet but she seems to be on the bitch squad with Isabel.

They of course, being my, oh so perfect cousins, and Maria.

And Max, he’s dating that Isa-monster.

I really shouldn’t be so mean, but people like her really burn me up.

Not that I’d ever say anything. Nope not lil’ ole mousy Liz Parker.

The bell rings thank god, the torture is over.

Maria hooks her arm with mine and Isabel sends me a death glare.

What the hell is her problem.

We go our separate ways.

“Don’t mind Isabel, she can be a bitch. I don’t know how Max lives with her.”

WHAT!!! They live together?

“Huh?”

She looks at me confused by my confusion. Confusing isn’t it?

“Max and Isabel are fraternal twins. I’m surprised Tess or Ava didn’t tell you.”

I can only laugh at myself. She’s his sister.

“Oh.” Is my simple response.

Maria laughs at me and for a minute I’m hurt, but I realize quickly she’s not being cruel.

“Our group is very interesting.”

“Yeah, you can say that again.” I reply without thinking.

She gives me a grin.

“Well Kyle is my step brother and he’s totally hot for Tess. However Tess has had a crush on Max for all of our High School Career.”

Interesting, I think. Why hasn’t Mrs. Perfect snagged the boy?

“Cause he doesn’t like her, he’s always seen her as a sister.”

Oh shit I said that out loud. My eyes grow wide.

“Don’t worry the doublement twins can get a little too perky. I mean I’m hyper and eccentric. I love those girls but well lets just say it’s good to have a level head around here.”

Her warm smile puts me at ease.

I’ve followed her through the lunch line and now my tray is filled with some mystery meat and something resembling mac n’ cheese.

“You get used to it.” A warm voice beside me says.

“Highly doubtful.” I smile at him.

“Come on I’ll show you to our table.”

Wow, he wants me to sit with them.

I follow Max to a table with Maria, Ava, Sean, Alex and Kyle sitting there.

A chorus of “Hey Max, Hey Liz.” Circles the table.

I give a nod and sit down in between Max and Maria.

I wonder where everyone else is.

“Who’s the new girl?” I hear an annoying voice from behind me.

I turn around and I’m face with none other than that Pam who-ever that Maria was cracking on all third period.

Ava speaks up with an irritated voice. I notice she and Sean are pretty cosy.

“Pam this is my cousin Liz Parker. Liz this is Pam Troy.”

I give the girl a fake smile and a wave.

“Max, You going to ditch the losers and come with me now?”

Is she for real. I see Maria roll her eyes. Everyone else at the table is trying not to laugh.

Max must be the hot bod at Roswell, not that I disagree, but who is she trying to kid?

“Uh …”

The poor guy.

“Sorry Pam, Max has offered to show me around. Maybe some other time.”

I can’t believe I just did that. I mean I said it no biggie, but I put my hand on his arm and I was flirting.

What the hell is wrong with me?

“You heard her Pam.” Maria scoffs at the girl.

“Yeah I promised.” Max says hiding a grin.

She just gives me a glare and storms away.

The whole table bursts out laughing.

I smile and laugh despite myself.

Then I remember my hand is still on his arm and I jerk it away quickly.

Max gives me a look like he’s a little hurt but it’s gone in an instant.

“Thanks. You’re now my new best friend.” He tells me while nudging my shoulder with his.

Great friend. Who am I kidding, what am I thinking. I’m just a stupid fool.

They all continue to laugh and I can’t help but feel like I’m on the outside, and I’m looking in.
posted on 28-May-2002 3:21:36 PM by Jiggers

roxygurl182 The perky doublement twins ... lol now everyone is gonna think of Tess and Ava as annoying ... lol ... what can I say ... I don't hate tess but my slight contempt for her shows through a little ... I like using Ava in fics tho she's too cool.

ha ha ... you must let me know if you succeed in your goal and how it went over in the conversation ... lol ... Why is Isabel such a bitch ... I dunno why is the sky blue? lol ... it will be revealed ... eventually ... since this is all from Liz's POV it's harder to develop the other characters exactly like I want to and usually do in other stories ... but I like doing LIZ POV so I'm SOL *happy*

on to part four

This is for Island Girl ... who requested some more Kyle in my fic ... here ya go sweety :d


______________________
Part four

“Hi and welcome to the crashdown, My name is Liz how can I help you.” I smile sweetly at the old couple and take their order.

Did I mention that when I got home from school I asked Uncle Ed if I could work in the Crashdown. Turns out Maria, Courtney and Ava all work here.

Tess works in some Congressman’s office. Isabel doesn’t work; imagine my surprise there.

Max and Alex both work at the UFO Museum across the street. Michael is a security guard at some Lab or something, Maria complained about his graveyard shifts.

I know you care, but after a couple of days in Roswell, I kinda feel like I’m fitting in a little.

I feel really comfortable with Maria, Alex and Max. Tess is ok most of the time, that is when she isn’t obviously all over Max. Ava is preoccupied with Sean, seems like they are the hot new couple. Which Michael doesn’t seem to like too much but he’s been really busy so I don’t get to see him much.

Now I’m off work and taking a walk. I found this great spot in the park, I’ve come here every night this week.

“Liz?” I turn around and see Kyle walking up to me.

I smile at him. “Hey.”

“You alright?” He asks carefully.

God does everyone have to treat me like broken glass?

“Yeah. Why? Do I not look alright?” I say sarcastically.

“No … I mean … yeah … You don’t make things easy do you?”

“Why should I?”

He laughs.

“Good point.”

“So Kyle. Can I help you with something?”

I really wonder what his deal is. I haven’t seen much of him lately.

I’ve been in Roswell a week. Aunt Lily and I are going to by the paint for my room tomorrow. Michael and Maria are both suppose to help paint.

“I was wondering if you’d do me a favor, and it’s gonna sound really weird.”

He gives me a helpless look and now I’m really intrigued.

“Well what it is?”

“Ok. Um I was wondering if you’d go out with me?”

What the fuck? I thought he was hot for Tess’s bod?

“Umm…”

“See the thing is, I think your cool and I’d like to get to know you better, plus Ava says that if I can show Tess what she’s missing then maybe …”

Oh, well doesn’t that give me a cofidence boost.

“So I can get to know you and make her jealous? I know it’s stupid, I’m sorry your offended. I’ll just go away.”

Wow is that vulnerability is see in super-jock’s eyes?

“I’m not offended.” I say, even though I am a little.

Something about is innocence makes me feel sorry for him.

“I’ll help you. Though I’m not sure Tess would believe that your interested in me.”

He gives me that look, quizzical.

“Why wouldn’t she?”

Cause I’m a monster can’t you see what’s in front of your eyes.

“I’m nothing Special.” I say with sorrow.

Dammit there goes my voice again.

“Yeah you are. You’re funny, very pretty, smart and fun to be around. If I wasn’t … if I didn’t have such strong feelings for Tess I would have asked you out for real.”

I look him in the eyes looking for a hint of insincerity but I’m surprised when I find none.

“Well, um …” I don’t know what to say.

“So tomorrow night?” He asks with a smile.

“Well Michael and Maria are suppose to help me paint my room, if your bored and want to help to.”

I trail off wondering why I’m inviting him.

“I had plans to play basketball with Max, but maybe I can convince him to come help me. Though I doubt it will be a big deal.”

My eyes involuntarily perk up at the mention of Max’s name.

Damn you Parker. You can’t feel that way; he’d never want you.

Kyle smiles at me knowingly and dammit I blush.

“Maybe this can be a win, win situation, but still tomorrow night, grand entrance in the crash, right in front of Tess whose working there and Max who will be there.”

I smile in spite of myself.

I tend to do that around these people.

Damn them for breaking down my shell. It’s Maria’s fault she’s the one who catches me off guard and makes me smile.

Gah!!

I don’t like being so out of control of my emotions.

And these people make me lose control.

Kyle and I talk for a little while and I find myself laughing a lot.

Maybe I’m not on the outside like I thought.

posted on 28-May-2002 7:32:08 PM by Jiggers
Kitcat26 I'm not sure how far I'm gonna take the Liz/Kyle thing ... but no worries, I'm a dreamer to the core and can't really write much else. *happy* I'm just sooo sweet ... well you deserve it hon ... lol ... your awsome and you sould be told it ... I'm glad you find Liz's thoughts real ... She's very reactive if you haven't noticed ... she's me basically cept my mom is alive and wonderful and my dad's not a jerk ... but everything else is pretty much me ... *sigh* ok .. enough personal info ... lol ...

marteloise Welcome to the fic, glad you like it, hope you enjoy the rest :D

Transparent Clear Not a tequila girl ... vodka is more my style but I know what you mean ... Liz just needs some good old fashion since, like maybe looking in the mirror ... *happy* She's gonna find a great bunch with these people, including Izzy (once she stops acting like a bitch) and Tess even ... lol ... Well my Tess is a good Tess wo just can't get past her school girl crush on Max. :D

Juliette Thank you!!!

I'm toying with the idea of either adding other people's POV mainly Max, or just doing a tag piece with the other characters POV's ... What do you guys think?

Lovies
Jig
posted on 28-May-2002 9:41:25 PM by Jiggers
Kitcat26 Aww your too kind ... he he ... Thanks for the advice. This has some angst, I'm kinda in an odd mood. *sigh* Oh well ... enjoy :D

Blink1lit *blush* Why thank you ... very glad you enjoy it ... I hope not to disappoint :D

Rapunzel wow ... is my face red, thank you ... that gives me the warm fuzzies :D

the better twin Why thanks ... he he ... Welcome to the fic

jeremiah Jealous Max is always fun ... he he ... thanks for reading ...

This is very angsty - but its what I needed to do for this part. If you have any problems with Self-Injury you might want to avoid this - Just a little warning ... it could trigger ...

on to the story ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 5


So I wake up this morning and run to the kitchen, of course no sign of Aunt Lil.

Just my luck, there is however a note on the fridge.

Liz, had an emergency, left the credit card and the car keys on the table. Sorry. Lil.

Great. It doesn’t really bother me that she can’t come, I guess I was just looking forward to spending time with my Aunt.

I shrug and try not to thing about it.

I decide to take my time and shower, just for the heck of it.

Ah, I’m not fooling anyone, I hope Kyle brings Max to paint.

I decide to wear my old painting jeans, that I’ve painted numerous things in, a mural at my old school. Yeah I’m quite the artist.

No kidding right.

So I pull on an old gray tank top that I don’t mind ruining, and pull my hair back.

I know this is the most interesting thing you’ve ever heard but your still here so … get over it.

I grab the keys to Lil’s car, obviously she and Ed had something to do, no sign of the double mint twins either, but I do know Tess is suppose to be filling in for Courtney tonight, how she got roped into that I have no idea since she doesn’t even technically work in the Crash, but whatever.

So I head down stairs and I see Max and Kyle sitting there and I can’t help but smile. Mmm Maybe they’ll come with me.

“Hey guys.” I approach they’re table.

“Hi, Liz we were about to see if you were up. Mrs. Harding came down just as we came in for breakfast and said she couldn’t take you today.”

I smile at Kyle.

“So since Kyle convinced me to help with the painting already we figured we’d stick around and see if you wanted company to Sherman Williams.”

I can’t help but think that maybe Kyle bribed Max here, but I look into his eyes and I just can’t doubt his sincerity.

“Works for me, I didn’t want to have to find the place anyway.”

Kyle and Max both get up from their seats and I follow them out to Max’s Jeep.

You remember the Death Trap.

I climb in the back automatically and Max gives me an odd look, but I shrug it off.

We drive in silence, well aside from the radio.

When we get there I go right to the blues, I’d had my heart set on nightfall but now I’m looking at a darker nightshade blue.

MMM …

“Tough decision there, Nightfall and Nightshade.”

His dark amber eyes are shining with humor.

“Yep.”

Kyle walks up behind us and looks over my shoulder, it’s obvious he’s flirting, and I wonder if he’s doing it for Max’s benefit or mine.

“So which?” I ask them holding up the two colors.

“Nightshade.” Max says automatically.

“Whatever.” Kyle grins.

“Nightshade it is.”

We grab two buckets of the blue, one of the primer, and one smaller bucket of white, the guys look at me strangely when I pick it up but I just shrug and smile.

These people make me smile too damn much.

But I guess I can’t really explain.

Eventually we get to painting.

About an hour and two coats of primer into it Michael and Maria show up to help.

About 4 hours later my room is entirely Nightshade blue.

We have to let it all dry and it’s about 3 in the afternoon so the five of us head down to the crash to eat.

That’s where my good day ended. You see that’s when I found out Max was going to be at the crashdown that night, just like Kyle said, only it was so he could see Tess.

Why does this bother me?

I have no clue.

Ok so that’s a lie, I’ve taken a liking to Max, hell the boy has me in his spell.

Especially after today, today when I felt his arms around me. See I got on a stepladder to paint some higher wall in my room, above the window, and I fell, well he caught me.

And I swear if I didn’t know any better I’d think he was going to kiss me.

But that’s where I’m wrong cause I’m just reading into it.

He’s a nice guy, I bet no one would blame me for my little crush, cept him, he’d prolly laugh if he thought I thought he’d go out with me.

That brings me back to the Crash, Kyle of course picked that time to announce to the world that we had a date that night, granted it’s not a real date but, well they don’t know that.

The Ice-bitch herself was in the crash then, and she took it upon herself to insult me. Damn her and people like her.

I was laughing at Kyle, he was messing with me about changing before we went out.

See me Kyle and Maria had gotten into a paint fight, we’d attacked Max and Michael as well, so all of us had paint everywhere.

And the Isamonster says something snide, god now I don’t even remember what the hell it was.

Something about my mother dressing me, that bitch had the nerve to bring up my mother!

I stopped dead in my tracks as did everyone else.

I wanted to cry but refused to let anyone see me.

So I quietly went up to my room, went straight to the bathroom found the razor and before I could even stop myself I’d sliced my arm.

God why am I so stupid?

I guess that whole feeling of being part of the gang, it was just that … a feeling.

I’m delusional.

And I fell so stupid for crying over her.

So I stripped off my clothes and got into the shower.

I held the razor to my wrist and just before I was able to cut I heard a knocking at my bathroom door.

Dammit, Dammit.

I just want to see my mom again!

“Liz!”

It’s Maria.

“Yeah?” I half cry, but it’s loud enough for her to hear.

“Are you ok?”

“Of course I’m just fucking peachy!”

I yell back.

I sigh and drop the razor.

Dammit!

She doesn’t know what to say. She’s the only one of them besides Michael that I’ve told about my mom dying, nothing really specific, but she knows.

Then I hear Michael and Max, God can’t they just go away.

Don’t they hear the water running, girl in shower.

“I’m taking a shower can I please have some peace?” I yell.

I’m angry and for once with these people I don’t give a damn if they know it.

“OK. I …” and I hear Maria trail off.

“Liz it’s Max, I’m about to go away now, but I just wanted to say sorry about Isabel.”

I hear the doors close and I sink down and let the tears go, the water hits my back until it runs cold.

I’m still on the outside.

posted on 10-Jun-2002 1:59:30 PM by Jiggers
Hey guys, sorry for the lull ... I've had a rough few weeks ...

Lillie Well I'm glad you like my stuff ... *happy* he he ... Isabel is a bitch, she always starts out as a bitch in most of my stories, not sure if she's going to remain one or not yet ... we shall see

Kitcat26 Breaks to read are great, and I'm sooo happy blu is back *happy*

Eccentric One Why is Max going to the Crashdown to see Tess? That is the haunting question isn't it ... no worries the part after this one ... which I hope to have up soon ... explains all that

dancepixie Glad you like ... I get in these spurts, I'll write like 3 parts then go two weeks with nothing ... my damn writers bloack is horrible

Rapunzel Aww now you have me regretting no shower m/l scene ... mmm ... I may be able to remedy that ... mmm ... you just gave me a great idea ... thanks ;) lol

SweetCherryKat Yes, liz has very little faith in anyone, especially herself ... but these roswll folk... they will change all that

alienchica nope no aliens ... right now, all I can say is that isabel is just a bitch ... he motives will be chipped away at in the next few parts ... please enjoy

Transparent Clear No Tess isn't using Max for anything ... he won't let her ... lol ...

Blink1lit glad you like it

viLya thanks for reading

FreeFall Her past is sordid ... and will take a long time for her to completely reveal ...

IceRose Thanks

Rapunzel, Lillie, Blink1lit Thanks for the bumps *happy*

Ok ... this part is a little short ... but in writing it, I've decided to write a Max POV ... other characters may come later, but I don't know yet ... Anyways I'm hoping to have the next part out today ... so just pray I get no more writers block ...
______
Part Six

I can’t believe how stupid I am.

I cut myself because of that isamonster … the ice-bitch from hell.

God why do I even let what anyone says affect me.

I got out of the shower and got dressed and called Kyle.

He was really sweet, saying I didn’t have to go through with the whole thing if I wasn’t up to it. And that he was sorry about Isabel, just like everyone else was sorry about her. Yeah I’m sorry she’s still breathing, shit, even if the girl is a bitch I don’t wish stuff like that on anyone.

I need to get out of this self-pitying fix and get on with life.

Life.

What a fucking crock. Life is like what?

A box of fucking chocolates?

BULLSHIT!

Life is like a fucking rollercoaster, you have ups and downs, nausea and pain, and your strapped in with no where to go, and when it’s over, your no smarter, better, or less screwed up than when you started.

Sometimes I wonder what the point is.

I mean seriously, why do I even bother with this existence.

I could see my mom again, be free of the pain.

I’m thinking all this as I walk down the stairs of the crashdown, well the back. I see Kyle through the windows.

He’s talking to Tess.

I like Kyle, well not LIKE, but he seems really sweet. It’s horrible Tess can’t see that he’s totally in love with her. He didn’t actually say he was, but anyone can see.

Tess turns her head as Max walks into the diner.

Why does my heart lurch at the smile he gives her?

Haven’t I talked myself out of the spell? Dammit!

I decide to face the music, and walk out of the employee room.

Max sees me first, and there is something totally unreadable about his expression.

Damnit, I can’t figure him out.

“Hey Liz.” His voice resonates through me like electricity, and my body feels like it’s humming.

Dammit!

Kyle turns around and smiles at me. He winks.

“Just the girl I was hoping to see.”

He walks over to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek. This is actually kind of fun. Tess looks like she’s confused.

I told him, she wouldn’t believe he’d be interested in me.

“You ready?” he asks.

“You guys?” Max starts, I swear I saw him gulp, “are going out.”

Tess looks as sick as I feel.

“Yeah, the lovely Liz agreed to accompany me out tonight. You look great by the way.” He turned to me and smiled.

At first I thought that he’d said that just to make Tess even more jealous.

But I look at him and I can tell he’s just being Kyle.

“Thanks.” I’m actually blushing, dammit.

We leave a stunned Tess and Max in our wake.

Kyle takes me out to eat, we enjoy great conversation. He’s a really nice guy.

I keep the Isa-monster out of my thoughts.

At this moment, I don’t feel so outside.

posted on 10-Jun-2002 2:53:13 PM by Jiggers
Let me know if this sucks ...

___________


Part seven

~Max POV~

The small room is cloudy and I can feel the steam rising up around us.

Us, that sounds so magical.

I can smell the jasmine and vanilla of her shampoo and body wash.

I pull open the shower door.

She not surprised by my presence, I wonder why.

I take in her beautiful body, the water cascading down her delicate curves, and I can’t help but run my hands through her chocolate hair.

She looks into my eyes and I can’t stop my lips from crushing down on hers.

I press my naked flesh to hers and she allows me access to her mouth.

She feels amazing, next to me.

Soon we are one, moaning, I tell her that I love her, and she doesn’t question.

And I know, that she loves me, even if she can’t say it.

I feel the ecstasy start to over take me.

And she’s screaming my name.

“Max! Max! Max!”

I groggily come out of my dream state.

And I groan at the thought that my Liz induced passionate dream was interrupted by Isabel. The one person in the world I don’t want to see at that moment.

“What the hell do you want Iz?

I look up at my sister annoyed as hell.

I’m still mad at her.

She’s being a huge bitch to Liz and I want to scream at her.

“Damn, don’t get an attitude with me Max. Kyle’s here.”

I groan and glare at her. I want to go back to sleep and dream of Liz.

I guess I should explain.

As soon as I saw her, I was lost, completely and utterly lost to her.

She’s so, God I don’t even know how to describe how she makes me feel.

She got rid of Pam for me, when she touched my arm, I felt like jumping for joy, just from physical contact. But she jerked away like I had burned her, and it hurt.

But even so, the week she’s been here, I’ve fallen for her. We’ve joked around, she’s sarcastic, and she cracks me up.

But today I have to play basketball with Kyle.

I shower and change quickly.

Kyle tells me we have a change of plans.

“Want to help Liz paint Michael’s old room today?”

“Sure.” I say quickly. Probably too quickly.

Kyle’s my best friend, outside of Michael, but since Michael is 3 years older than me, we aren’t as close as we used to be, Kyle knows me as well as Michael does. He knows that I’m gone for Liz.

Of course I don’t bother to ask why he knows she’s painting her room.

I just change into more suitable attire and we head to the crash for breakfest.

Mrs. Harding comes down and tells us she can’t take Liz. Kyle offers to show her where everything is.

So we wait, we are down there for at least an hour and a half, we’re seriously about to go up and knock, when Liz, beautiful in paint splattered jeans and a grey tank top, she emerges from the backroom.

So we offer our services, she happens to pick the exact color that my room is painted, blue is my favorite color, Nightshade.

It’s Kismet, god I’m a goner aren’t I?

It’s almost pathetic.

So we paint, at one point, Liz fell off a stepladder and I caught her. I swear I had to restraint myself from kissing her.

So we finish painting the room, I can tell Liz is going to do something else with the extra white paint we’ve bought but I don’t question.

So we hang out in the Crash for a while, eat lunch.

I tell them, I’m due back there in a few hours to meet Tess. I don’t have time to explain why cause Isabel comes in.

I’m not really paying attention to the conversation around me. I’m just watching jealously as Kyle flirts with Liz.

Then I hear Isabel comment about Liz’s clothing, something about her mother.

All I can see is red. Liz just stops, her face looks like it’s going to crumble. She runs up stairs and Maria follows her.

“Izzy, What the fuck is your problem?” Kyle asks.

“Yeah. I thought you’d gotten over your Ice-Princess Bitch routine back in 10th grade Izzy.” Michael is also mad. Liz is his cousin after all, and I can tell he knows more about the sadness behind her eyes than he’ll let on.

She looks at me for help. “Oh no, don’t look at me. You are totally out of line and I’m ashamed to call you my sister right now.”

She looks hurt but I don’t care.

I see Michael head towards upstairs, and I follow.

I hear the shower running and Liz yelling.

“I’m just fucking peachy”

Damn you Isabel.

I can’t help but remember my dream, and I shake the thoughts of Liz’s body wet with soap, and the water cascading down her back.

Stop it Max, she’s in there hurting.

So I tell her I’m about to go away, and that I’m sorry about Isabel.

I don’t know what else to say.

I go home, not speaking to my sister the entire way.

She looks like she wants to say something, but I ignore her.

I couldn’t care less how she feels right now.

Eventually I end up back at the crash. Meeting Tess for our econ project.

See that’s what I couldn’t tell Kyle, Liz, Maria and Michael before Isabel morphed into a she-devil. I saw a look on Liz’s face when I said I was meeting Tess, one I didn’t like.

She looked hurt.

Of course I’m imagining that because I’m basically in love with the girl after a week, but I can’t help it, she’s amazing …

So I’m sitting there talking to Tess when Liz comes out of the backroom.

She looks amazing.

Her hair is down, slightly curled on the ends, she’s wearing a pair of dark grey hip hugging pants and a red tank-top. She’s breath taking.

And then my heart breaks.

She’s going out with Kyle.

My best friend, I thought he’d figured out that I liked Liz, but I guess not.

I can’t even hear what’s going on around me, all I can do is watch her.

They leave.

And I actually want to cry, I know that sounds like I’m a pussy or something.

But my best friend is going out with the girl of my dreams. I can’t try to saw Liz’s attention cause I couldn’t do that to Kyle.

I see Tess’s face and wonder if she’s finally over her infatuation with me.

The look on her face is how I feel. She looks like she just lost the love of her life.

Wait, Kyle liked Tess, didn’t he?

Maybe he’d given up on her.

I just don’t know anymore.

Tess and I just stare at each other.

Econ is the last thing on both our minds.

posted on 10-Jun-2002 6:06:08 PM by Jiggers
you guys are gonna love me!!!


____

Part Eight
Liz POV

Roswell is a strange town. Seems that word has gotten around school, that Kyle Valenti and I are the hottest couple.

Bah!

Kyle and I are eating it up. We’ve been “dating” for two weeks now. It’s so weird, I’ve been in Roswell for 3 weeks, and I’m now the talk of the school.

It’s pretty funny actually.

Tess is acting like a zombie, I can’t tell if it’s cause of Kyle or Max or something else.

Life has been pretty simple.

Kyle and I are getting to be great friends.

Max acts very odd around Kyle now, especially when Kyle and I are together.

But when it’s just him, and me- we connect.

Max is like the best friend I never had.

He’s gentle and caring, and I think I’m in love with him.

But that doesn’t matter; I’m just his new best friend, like he said.

But being around him makes me happy, like nothing ever has before, so I’ll go on with my façade of dating Kyle, and just being Max’s friend, but even if I’m only his friend, I can deal with that.

As long as he’s in my life, I’ll be happy. God when the hell did I get so sappy?

I hate feeling like this, I mean it’s weak, it’s sad and pathetic.

“Liz?” I turn around on the sofa to see Tess standing there.

“Hey.” Yep she still looks like a zombie.

She sits down on the couch next to me and tucks her feet underneath her. She looks like a scared little girl.

“You ok Tess?” I ask her, looking in her eyes.

“No. I’m not. But I don’t know what to say, without sounding like a selfish bitch.”

I have no idea what she’s talking about.

“Tess, you’re not selfish, just tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I am selfish Liz. For the longest time, I’ve been obsessed with Max.”

Oh no. I’m not sure I want to hear this.

“And when you came into town, you two hit it off, and I was jealous. But then you started dating Kyle, and I don’t know, but it’s more than jealousy. I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

Whew, I thought she was going to go on a diatribe about how much she loved Max, and how much he loved her. I don’t think I could have handled that.

“Tess, are you trying to tell me you have feelings for Kyle?”

I see her eyes go downcast and she nods slowly.

I want to laugh out loud, and I can’t help it, but I do.

“What?” She asks, with a tear.

“Oh No, I’m not laughing at you, I mean I am, but, It’s just what took you so long?”

She looks at me like I’m crazy.

“What?” She asks.

“Ok, you have to promise not to get mad at me or Kyle, but this whole thing was a set up.”

“A set up?” She obviously wasn’t getting it.

“What I’m saying is that Kyle asked me to do him a favor, to go out with him, cause He’s totally in love with you, and he thought that maybe if you saw him taken away you might realize you had something good in him. It was something he got from Ava.”

Her eyes grew wide.

“Ava knew?”

“No, No. Your not mad are you? Kyle and I have become good friends, but the whole dating thing was just a show so you could realize that you liked him too.”

“But how did you know I liked him, I didn’t even know.”

“I think it’s the way you smile at him. It’s the most genuine than I’ve ever seen you. Not saying your fake, but you don’t have to try extra hard with him, your just yourself.”

She blushes and nods.

“So how do I tell him? I’m so relieved, I felt so bad, cause I thought you really liked him.”

“I do, but just as a friend. As for telling him. I have an idea …”

I filled her in on my plans.

I had a “date” with Kyle that night. Only I was going to send Tess in my place.

She left looking glamorous, and she hugged me.

I walked down through the Crashdown with her, and waved to her goodbye.

“What’s that all about?” I swear my entire body goes on fire just at the sound of his voice.

God, why can’t I just get over him?

“Ahh, just setting a few things straight.” I smiled.

He motioned for me to sit and I did.

“What do you mean?”

“Ahh another explanation … well see, this whole me an Kyle dating thing. It was a set up to get Tess and Kyle together.”

He looked, what was that? Relieved?

“Really? Why didn’t you tell me?”

I smiled.

“It had to look authentic.” I shrug.

“So what are you doing tonight?” he asks.

“Well my plans just changed. Why?” I look at him searchingly.

“Well I have nothing to do. So why not hang out with my friend?”

I smile at him.

“What did you have in mind?”

“I dunno.”

“Well, Lily and Ed are out of town, Tess is out with Kyle, Ava is out with Sean. We could watch some movies or something. Oh. I could make brownies, I need a chocolate fix.”

He smiles that dazzling smile and we head up stairs.

We watch a movie, then decide to make the brownies, then we watch again.

“God why are people so stupid?” I say at the stupid chick on the screen.

“What?” he asks.

“Well, after watching that movie. I dunno, it makes me sick. Stuff like that doesn’t happen in real life. Just cause you fall for someone doesn’t mean they fall back. And life isn’t perfect.”

He stares at me.

I can’t stand him staring like that so I grab a pillow off my bed and hit him with it.

Soon we are in a full fledged pillow fight.

Before I know what’s happening Max is lying on top of me in my bed, and I can’t help but try to catch my breath. He’s so close.

I feel like I’m in a movie, or rather that I’m outside, watching this scene unfold.

“Liz.” He says huskily.

He’s looking at me, looking through me.

And then his lips were on mine, and I was pulling him closer to me, and my heart was pounding.

I felt like I was on fire.

His hands are all over me, and mine are all over him.

We stop kissing and he looks at me.

“Liz?”

I can’t speak, I just pull his head down and crush my lips to his again.

I can’t get enough of him.

My bare hands connect with his back and I pull his shirt off, soon mine is gone too.

I know where this is going, and I can’t stop, I don’t even want to.

He looks me in the eyes again and I nod my head, telling him not to stop.

I reach down for his zipper and soon his pants join the rest of our clothes.

Soon my pants are no longer a barrier.

The only thing between us is my panties and his boxers.

“Are you sure?” He asks breaking our kiss.

I can only kiss him in response.

And then I feel the pain, but it’s glorious, it subsides and is replaced with the most amazing feeling in the world.

Being one with Max Evans.

My body explodes beneath him and I feel him fill me.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so content in my entire life.

But what just happened?

My body is exhausted and I allow him to leave the recesses of my body, even tho I feel lost without him in me.

His arms go around me and I hear him murmur.

“I love you.”

posted on 10-Jun-2002 6:51:18 PM by Jiggers
Part 9
Max POV

I wake up and don’t know where I am.

Then I feel her.

And I remember the previous night.

Liz and I had made love, in her bed.

She was still in my arms.

I was almost afraid that she would be gone.

But she wasn’t, she was here.

I look down at her sleeping form, she’s got her arms around my waist and I can’t help but smile.

The past few weeks, seeing her with Kyle, it hurt. But when she told me it was a set up, I wanted to kiss her right there.

But I didn’t.

But then, when we were pillow fighting.

It was like a scene from the movie we just watched.

But god, I wouldn’t change it for a thing.

She’s starting to wake up.

I look down into her eyes and stroke her hair.

She smiles at me.

“Max?” She asks quietly.

“Yea?”

“It wasn’t a dream.”

I smile.

“No. It was real.”

She suddenly realizes that she’s naked, in her bed with me, and she turns red.

“I meant what I said Liz.”

She looks at me quizzically.

“I love you. You’ve had me since you walked into the crashdown that first day.”

A tear escapes her eyes and I wonder if I said something wrong.

“No one, as ever said anything like that to me before. No one.”

My heart breaks at the sadness in her eyes.

“I do love you. I do.”

I look at her, wanting her to say that she loves me too, but something in her eyes tells me not to push her. It’s then that I notice the scars on her arms, legs, and stomach.

“Liz?” I question.

Her eyes leave mine and she starts to get up.

“No. Don’t run away please. Last night was perfect, for me it was. If you never want to see me again I’ll understand.”

My heart is breaking. I sound like such a pansy I know. But I just lost my virginity to her, and I know she was a virgin too. And I do love her. It may sound stupid, sudden, I don’t care.

I love Liz Parker. I’ve never felt anything like the way I feel when I’m with her, when I think about her. And last night.

“Don’t think that. I …” she begins.

“what?”

“I’m just screwed up Max. I’ve been a cutter for as long as I can remember. The scars are from the worst of my days. I … I’m unlovable. I don’t deserve your love.”

What? What the hell is she talking about? I get the cutting thing, well I don’t understand but she doesn’t deserve love? Someone did a real number on her.

“Liz. You deserve so much more than I could ever give you. But I can try. Just don’t run away from me.”

She looks away and I pull her into my arms. We are both still completely nude and I can’t help my bodies reaction to her closeness.

“Max, I …”

“What do you feel Liz?”

“I, I love you Max.”

He sighed and pulled her to him.

Soon he was lost in her once again, and life couldn’t get any better.

The most content he’d ever been in his entire life was the moment when Liz told him she loved him. He couldn’t imagine ever being happier.

And then she pulled him down on top of her and they became one again, and he knew, every moment with her would make him love her more, every single moment.

Hours later they were sleeping, well they were just holding each other.

The moment was perfect, he was stroking Liz’s hair carefully.

Then it was interrupted.

Liz’s bedroom door opens quickly and Tess and Ava come bounding in.

When they see Liz and Me they stop dead in their tracks.

I almost feel guilty, I know Tess had a thing for me, but I just never felt the same …

Luckily she didn’t seem upset.

Both of their burst out laughing.

Liz pulls the sheet to her chest.

“What?” she asks almost hurt.

I’ve still got my arms around her and I rub her stomach slowly.

“Sorry. We were just coming to see if you knew where Max was. Isabel called really freaked this morning. She’s worried about you Max. When you didn’t come home.”

Ava started giggling again.

Tess’s eyes were sparkling.

“Well I’m fine, obviously. Could you guys leave us alone?”

I say a little irritated, I’m still angry with Isabel, her attitude towards Liz hadn’t improved, and I’m fearing what the new development would spawn in his sister.

“Um, Izzy is on her way over, you two might want to get decent, she was ready to call out a search party.”

Tess laughs again and they close the door.

“What was so funny?” Liz asks her eyes tearing up.

“Baby, I don’t know or care.”

She cracks a half smile.

“Your sister hates me.”

“I don’t know what her problem with you is, but she’s going to have to get over it. You’re going to be a permanent fixture in my life.”

She smiles at me. I hear Isabel’s loud voice and I groan.

“We should get dressed.” She sighs.

“I know.” I reply. But I kiss her and pull her back towards me.

“I love you Liz Parker.”

I don’t think I can tell her enough.

She smiles.

“Ditto.”

I know it’s hard for her, she told me once and that’s all that matters.



posted on 11-Jun-2002 6:21:14 PM by Jiggers
JaneLane, cglenn, Thanks

FreeFall Yeah Liz is gonna be a doubter, but Max is too smart to let her go

roswellluver Ha ha ... yeah they would have gotten a show wouldn't they

LixMix5 I know they are moving fast ... but that's kinda what I wanted to happen *happy*

pandas2001 Yeah I'm not comepletly sure what izzy problem is *happy*

aZNroSweLl anglgrl, PrincessAurora, viLya Thank you!!!

Pixie No pyschical damage from reading this story ... no ... lol

Transparent Clear Me on another roll ... that would require knowing what I'm doing ;)

Rapunzel It's about passion baby!!!

Lindsey, roxygurl182, alienchica Thanks!!!

_________________________




Part 10
~Liz POV~

So I guess this is what being happy is like?

I’ve always wondered how it would feel.

When my mother died, I lost all hope of ever being happy again.

I figured there was no way, but Max has changed that.

I don’t even understand how it all happened.

One minute I was telling Max that I hated the stupid clichéd movie, and the next we were having sex.

No that’s not right, it wasn’t just sex, that was making love.

I didn’t ever realize there was a difference, and no I have no prior experience to base the difference on, but I know there is one.

So now we are in my living room, I actually feel like this place is home now. I’ve made my peace with all these people, even Courtney.

Even she said she didn’t know what Isabel’s problem was.

Ok so I take that back, I haven’t made my peace with Isabel.

I’m not sure I want to. I wish I could just hide behind Max like I am now.

I know it’s stupid, but Max has been my strength since I moved here.

And I don’t want to deal with her, my day has been perfect.

And I have a bad feeling about this conversation.

“Max! I’ve been so worried about you!”

Max rolls his eyes at her. He’s got a hold of my hand, but I’m not sure if Isabel has noticed this.

“Yeah well as you can see I’m fine.”

Oh no, he’s smarting off to her, she won’t like that.

“Well where were you?” She says curtly.

“It’s none of your business. Come on Liz. Lets go get some food.”

Oh yeah, she’s seeing red. You’d think Max was her boyfriend not her brother.

She’s noticing I’m here, and that Max has my hand.

I can only nod, and Isabel is shooting daggers at me.

Max leads me down to the crash and we grab some food.

We are sitting in a booth, both on the same side, very close to each other.

Isabel comes down.

“Max!”

“What?” he yells back.

I don’t like this.

“What’s going on?”

“I told you Izzy. It’s none of your business.”

“So your just gonna ignore me to eat with the charity case?”

She did not just say that. I can’t believe that Max is actually related to her.

Max gets up from the table and stares Isabel down.

“If you ever talk about Liz like that again, I swear I will never speak to you again!”

He’s angry. God I hate this. I’m ruining his life.

“Max it’s ok, I’ll just go.”

“Yeah Lizzie, Run along.” I want to slap Isabel but I don’t, I can’t get violent, the girl doesn’t want to see me violent.

In a lot of cases like this, I might want to cry, but I’ve gotten to the point where I just don’t care about Isabel and what the hell her problem is.

So I just sit there and stare at her.

“Isabel. I don’t know what the hell your problem with Liz is and I don’t care. I love her, and she’s not going anywhere. If you have a problem with that, you’ll just have to get over it.”

Max’s voice was calm, almost too calm.

He grabs my hand and pulls me out of the restaurant. We get in the jeep and he takes off.

I stay silent; I don’t know what to say.

I’m torn; I don’t want to ruin his relationship with his sister. But I’ve just found him; I don’t want to let him go either.

“Liz.” He takes my hand in his, but keeps his eyes on the road.

“I’m sorry. I can’t let her talk about you like that, she has no right.”

“Max, I don’t want to mess up your relationship with your sister. I …”

I trail off, not sure what else to say.

“No Liz, it’s not you. It’s her. She’s going to have to get over it, whatever it is. She has no basis to treat you that way, none. And I won’t let her.”

He pulls over near a cliff, it’s so beautiful.

We just sit there in silence and I can’t help but wonder if this is a dream.

I know it seems very sudden. I mean we’ve only known each other for 3 weeks, but I wish I could tell you how much he means to me.

I sound like such a sap, but now I wonder if being a sap is so bad?

Eventually Max takes me home, I of course have to answer to Ava, Tess and Michael, who gives Max the 3rd degree about not hurting me.

Blah, blah.

I kiss him goodbye and we make plans to see each other the next day, Sunday.

We have one more day to sort it all out, before we return to school, and the gossip ensues, I mean I go from dating Kyle to sleeping with Max in one weekend. I really can’t wait to see what Pam and her goons come up with. Not that the whole school will know the extent of mine and Max’s relationship, but still.

So I have to get the story from Tess about her date with Kyle, she won’t go into too much detail but I can tell they had a good night.

Of course I finally get to be by myself and Kyle calls thanking me. I fill him in on the Max situation and the shit with Isabel.

“I knew Max was crazy for you.”

I just laughed, I still can’t believe it.

In ways I want to doubt Max, I mean how could someone as amazing as him, want me?

But then I remember his eyes and I know he’s not lying.

He may want me, maybe that’s his flaw.

I don’t know, but I finally feel good.

Sunday we see each other. Lily and Ed aren’t coming back for another few days, so I convince Max to “sleep over at Kyle’s”

Ok so, I’m a horrible influence.

But I know it’s gonna be a hard day. And I just want him near me, I need him to hold me.

So of course we end up making love, not that I mind.

In ways I’m worried, because, well what if that’s the only reason why he’s with me.

“Max?” I ask carefully.

“Yea?” He sighs into my hair. His arms are around me and I feel so wonderful.

“This is going to sound bad. But are you with me cause I’ll sleep with you?”

The hurt in his eyes makes me flinch.

“Of course not! How could you think that?”

I can’t look him in the eye.

“I guess I just don’t have much faith in people.”

He lifts my chin and forces me to look at him.

“Have faith in me. Liz I know you’ve been through a lot, and you don’t have to tell me. Just know I’m here for you. I know it’s soon, I know we are moving fast. But I love you. People may think I’m crazy. I’m 18, but I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

He just said that didn’t he?

I didn’t just dream those words into existence.

I look in his eyes and can’t imagine life without him.

“I feel the same way. What did I do to deserve you?”

He looks at me and smiles.

“Your just you. No need for anything else.”

My heart melts.

posted on 12-Jun-2002 10:46:05 AM by Jiggers
just a little shameless bump
posted on 12-Jun-2002 5:31:10 PM by Jiggers

Pixie I know I get sappy when I get them together ... it's a writing flaw ... but ... I don't think you guys are complaining much

LittleBit I'm hoping to get the little bitches problem out in the open soon

Rapunzel duking it out with Izzy will happen ... in due time ... I promise ...

Lillie Yes that is the consences ... everyone hate isabel ... but I wrote it so you would ... lol

roswellluver She needs to do more than mellow out ... lol

JaneLane Great name ... lol ... here's more...

viLya yeah sickening sweet ... lol

boobear1514 here's more

LittleBit I'm back I'm back

alienchica perfect boyfriend ... he he... yep that he is ...


Part 11
~Max POV~

I hate that she doubts me.

I wonder who the hell made her doubt herself.

I know, I can tell by the looks of just our friends that they think we are moving too fast.

When I called Kyle and told him I was staying at his place, he had that tone.

Like, He was surprised, which I guess he is, everyone is.

Liz has barely opened up to anyone, and suddenly I’m staying with her. I guess that seems sudden.

I may be crazy, but I don’t care, I love her.

We are lying here, facing each other.

I run my hand down her side, she has a huge scar on her right side.

I can’t help but run my fingers over it.

She looks at me in the eyes.

“My mom died when I was 11, it was a car accident. It ruined my father. He started drinking, yelling, hitting.”

Her voice cracks, I can’t imagine anyone hurting her, how could they?

“I accidentally broke a picture frame, he freaked, started yelling at me, telling me how stupid I was, to clean it up. So I did, but I kept a piece of the glass. And I slashed my side. I bled for thirty minutes. But it gave me something I was craving. Release.”

She shudders and I pull her close.

“That’s how I started cutting, it was more of an on and off thing. I’ve tried to stop so many times. But then something happens that I can’t deal with, and I turn to that. I’ve never known how else to deal. I never had any friends.”

I want to say something, but I can’t I don’t know what to say.

“He kept getting worse, he didn’t hit me that much, but it was enough, enough to screw me up. He’d always tell me I was stupid, that I was worthless and hopeless and that no one could ever love me. Eventually I believed him.”

She’s crying, god I want to take this pain away from her.

“Last year, he decided he didn’t want me anymore. He told me everyday that he was going to give me up. But there was nothing, I’m not 18 for a few more months. At first I thought he was just trying to prove to me that he didn’t want me. Then he took me downtown, and he gave up all parental rights.”

Oh god, that fucking bastard.

“So I was sent to an orphanage. They contacted my aunt, She was appalled, she came up to New York and saw me. They went through a whole lot of shit for me to come here. But if it weren’t for Lily I don’t know where I’d be.”

“Remind me to thank her next time I see her.”

She looks at me with a question in her eyes.

“If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have you.”

When did I become such a romantic? I guess Liz is just inspiration.

I sound like a pansy ass sap, but oh freaking well.

We fall asleep, Liz in my arms.

Monday morning we wake up bright and early, waking up with Liz is so amazing.

She stirs next to me and I smile at her.

“I’m not sure me staying over was a good idea.” I say in a light tone.

Her brow furrows in question.

“I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to sleep without you in my arms again.”

She smiles and snuggles closer to me, and I kiss her, I want to show her in that kiss that I’m someone to believe in. That I’ll never leave her, never give her up.

We end up showering together, to conserve energy, yep that’s why.

We don’t let ourselves get too carried away, right, yeah I didn’t think it was that believable.

It’s actually quite interesting, we get dressed, and sit down and eat breakfast with Sean and Ava, seems as thought Sean stayed the night too.

It makes me laugh.

Liz asks where Tess is and Ava laughs.

“Well since Max wasn’t staying with Kyle, and his parents are out of town, and Maria wasn’t at home either, and our place was crowded, Tess kept him company.”

Liz smiles, Of course that meant Maria was with Michael.

“Max Do I need to go pick up Izzy?” Sean asks.

I had actually forgotten about my bitch of a sister. Some may think I’m being harsh, but I don’t.

“If you want, but she’s probably getting a ride with Courtney. I couldn’t care less.”

“Max…” Liz starts, but I silence her with a look.

Why is she of all people defending Izzy?

So we go to school.

Walking through the halls with Liz is liberating, letting the whole West Roswell Population know that she is mine; it’s claiming her openly.

She’s a little tense, and I know she’s worried about the rumors that will spread.

Cause in the eyes of the school she went from dating Kyle to Me in one weekend. No one else knows that she and Kyle were just trying to hook Kyle and Tess up, and no one knows that I’ve been in love with her since I first laid eyes on her.

Frankly it’s no one else’s business.

Oh shit. Pam alert.

I’m still holding Liz’s hand; we are standing by her locker.

“Why Lizzie, don’t you move quick.” I roll my eyes at Pam and pull Liz’s body closer to mine.

“Quickly Pam, the correct word is quickly.”

Ha! Liz just totally shut Pam up. I raise my eyebrow at her, and she just smiles back and pulls my head down for a kiss.

I don’t know why I never noticed that Liz in Kyle never kissed publicly, ever. Now I usually hate seeing couples’ kissing in the hall, so standing here and pulling Liz as close to me as she could be is like being a hypocrite, but I honestly could care less.

The thing about me now, is that when it comes to Liz, nothing else matters. It’s something that will probably get me into trouble at some point.

I hear someone clear his or her throat behind us and Maria is standing there with a huge grin.

The three of us start walking towards homeroom, that we share, and I pull Liz to the back of the class with me, Maria follows and we sit, she’s in front of me and Maria is beside her.

I can’t wait till 5th period, Liz is my lab partner, and I can touch her without anyone seeing, the need to touch her is overwhelming, so I have to put my hand on her shoulder, she turns around and smiles at me.

I’m the luckiest guy in Roswell.



posted on 13-Jun-2002 12:30:53 PM by Jiggers
AN- Well I'm leaving this afternoon for a friends wedding, I won't be back till sunday, so unless I get something out before I leave there may not be anything out till sunday or monday.

But if I get everything I need to get done before I leave I'm hoping to have a part out, but if not I am planning on writing during the 7 hour drive if my friend doesn't try talking to me the entire time ...

So hopefully I'll come back with a couple of new parts!!

Glad you all are liking the story, still working out Izzy's problem in my head, so that should be explained soon.

Anyways ...Have a great weekend!!

Rapunzel Hope not to disappoint!

behrstars as soon as I can

Pixie Its that sarcasm thing, I figured I wanted Liz to not even try a confrontation with Pam, at least not before she has Izzy's shit worked through ...

FreeFall thanks for liking the POV's I write Max kinda sappy, but I don;t think anyone is complaining ... lol ... I wasn't sure if they were working but you gave me the confidenc e... so thanks

viLya the lucky couple ... he he

roswellluver Yes he is isn't he? *sigh*

dancepixie puter problems suck ...mine died last semester, my poor roomate now has this site bookmarked on her computer ... lol ... Thanks for the FB tho ... glad your liking it!

Lillie Yes keep him company ... thats all !!! lol, yeah didn't think you'd buy that ...

TrueLoveConquersAll I can't tell you how much I love long feedback !!! Yes Izzy is the bitch in the story ... not sure for how much longer, a little while at least ... I;m still figuring out the root of ALL her nastiness in my head. Yeah it was a little fast, but oh well ... lol ... I get into the writing and it goes where it wants too. *sigh* He he ... yes I figured the statment was the holding hands, again *sigh*

RosBaby yep her dad's an asswhole in a half ...
Thanks for the feedback guys!!!

it keeps me going

~Gin aka - Jiggaz!
posted on 11-Jul-2002 10:13:10 AM by Jiggers
*hangs her head in shame*

WEll um ... see .. um ... OK honestly, I've lost track of the fic for a little while. BUt all is well it won't last for long.

I just got back from Roswell. It was soooo amazing guys. I met some peeps from www.blu5.com and we had a blast. I don't even have the words.

But that is the reason for my absence. I got inspired on the trip, but for a new story *ducks at the roswell memorabllia being thrown at her* ... I'm sorry Geez!

Lol ... Anyways I start work on friday again :( which is either good for my fics or terrible. Cause sometimes I get so bored I can write. But also I end up reading too. BUt hopefully getting back into the groove of things will help tons ... *happy*

Lovies all my fellow addicts :D
Gin
Aka - Jiggers
posted on 31-Jul-2002 10:43:25 AM by Jiggers
Ok ... I'm once again hanging my head in shame ... for not updating ...

I have to work on my other fics as well but this one was just screaming at me to write another part ... so I had to listen to my muse ... What's sad is I have another story idea ... ACK!!

But Alas I do have Chapter 13 for you all *happy*


So enjoy and please forgive me !!!

________

Chapter 13

Max POV

I drop Liz off at home and head to my house to pick up some more clothes. The Hardings are going to be out of town for the rest of the week, as are the Valenti’s so I have the perfect cover.

I’m “staying with Kyle” In actuality of course, Tess is staying with Kyle, Maria is staying with Michael, Sean is staying with Ava and I am staying with Liz.

Isabel is in my room when I get home.

I don’t even say anything to her. I just grab some stuff and throw it in a bag.

“Max …” She says.

I just stop, turn around and glare at her.

“What?” I say sharply.

She’s never made me angry with her before, and she doesn’t understand. She used to be the closest person to me, until we hit high school. She started caring about what others thought. That’s when she started to change.

She broke up with Alex, oh right, I forget she never tells anyone that she and Alex were together from 6th grade to 8th. He still loves her. I can tell.

But she hurt him. Only recently have they really become friends again.

She just stopped caring about others.

“I … I’m sorry.”

Wow, she’s actually sincere. Who are you and what have you done with my twin sister.

“Sorry for what Izzy? Scaring the girl I love to death because you reminded her of her father? Or how about threatening her and belittling her, or maybe your sorry that you continue to break Alex’s heart. Or sorry that you’ve become the biggest bitch I’ve ever known. Sorry that your heart has frozen in your chest? What exactly are you sorry for Isabel?”

I know I shouldn’t have blown up at her. But the pent up anger is just getting to me.

“Everything Max.” She says with tears.

I want to sympathize, but I remember holding Liz’s shaking body and I just can’t.

“Maria told me today that I was just using you all. I came straight home and cried for hours.” She says softly.

“Do you want me to feel sorry for you, cause I can’t.” I say seriously.

“No … I just … I realized she was right. I’ve always been so caught up in myself, and I hate that about me Max. I always have. But I don’t know how else to be. I don’t know what to do …” She starts crying.

I go over and put my arms around her, I’m still mad, but she’s my sister.

“I don’t deserve a second chance Max. I don’t I know that. But I’d be grateful to get one. I’m so sorry Max. I’m so sorry. She just came here, and I was already losing you and she just took you away.” She’s sobbing.

Its been years since I’ve seen Izzy this emotional.

“I’ll always be your brother Iz. No one can change that. We’re twins. I will always love you. But Liz … She’s …” I trail off unable to form the words.

“Everything I know. I’m so sorry.” She says again.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.” I say calmly. I’m still a little angry, but I don understand. Well I kind of understand.

“I know. Are you staying with her?” She asks.

“No I’m umm … staying with uh … Kyle.” I stammer.

“It’s ok, I won’t tell. Can I follow you there so I can apologize to Liz. Did I really scare her that bad?”

I look away, trying to block out how shaken up Liz was.

“Oh God. I’m so sorry.”

I finish getting my stuff ready and get in the jeep. Isabel gets in her car and follows me to the Crash.

We walk into the Café and Liz is sitting at the counter. She smiles at me and then her face drops when she sees Isabel.

I walk over and give her a quick Kiss on the crown of her head.

“Liz …” Isabel starts with a shaky voice.

I can tell Liz is surprised, she’s never seen Isabel like this. She’s still got tears in her eyes, no make up, red rimmed eyes and her hands are shaking.

“I need to talk to you.” She says quietly.

I can tell Liz is a little frightened, knowing that just hours before Isabel had threatened her, but she just nods slowly and Isabel follows her up to the apartment.

“I’ll be down here waiting ok Love.” I tell her.

She smiles and I squeeze her hand and they disappear into the apartment.

I can only pray that Isabel says what she needs to say the right way. And I kind of hope Liz doesn’t let her off as easy as I did.

I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

Kyle comes in and sits down next to me.

“Man you look nervous.” He says.

“Isabel is apologizing to Liz upstairs.” I say.

“Oh.” And that’s all he says. He understands. All we can do is just sit and wait.

Have I ever mentioned how impatient I am?


_Jiggaz

Feedback is food for the fanfic author's soul ... Hint HINT
posted on 31-Jul-2002 10:13:36 PM by Jiggers
eeek ... I didn't post part 12 ... ha ha ... sorry guys ...

~Liz POV~
Part 12

I swear I still think this is a dream, and soon I’m going to wake up and find that I’m still in that orphanage in New York, with no clue.

I’m in 3rd period with Maria and Isabel. Isabel is just glaring. I’m ready to slap her, but I don’t want to make things any worse.

I smile at the memory of Max walking me to class and giving me a sweet kiss before letting go of my hand. Isabel of course witnessed this and shot daggers at me with her eyes.

Soon the class is over and I can’t wait till I can get to the cafe and see Max again.

I’m such a lovesick schoolgirl.

But for once I don’t care.

Isabel is standing there, blocking the door.

And now I’m alone with her in the classroom. Oh god. I don’t like this.

“Liz.” She says curtly.

Oh god Oh god. I can’t breathe. Why the hell am I so scared?

Maybe that trapped feeling is getting to me. My dad used to lock me in my room. Block the door and start yelling at me. Occasionally he would throw things. I think I’m going to have a panic attack.

Why is she affecting me like this? That look in her eyes reminds me of my dad. Oh god. Oh god. I’m going to be sick.

I can just nod.

I don’t think she knows how much she’s scaring me right now.

“What do you want Isabel?”

She’s still glaring at me.

“Stay away from my brother.”

Ok Liz calm down, this is just Isabel, ice-bitch, she is not your father; she is not going to hurt you. Stand up for yourself.

“What?”

“I said stay away from my brother.”

What the hell is her deal?

“Why? Why would I do something like that?”

“Because you aren’t worth his attention, a little mousy girl is not what my brother needs. You’re nothing. You’re Vapor, Max could do so much better. Besides if you don’t I’ll …”

Oh god, oh god, she sounded exactly like my father, down to the tone.

“Or you’ll what Izzy?”

I turn and see Maria standing there. Thank god.

Isabel’s eyes go wide, she’s been found out.

“Go away Maria.”

Then she turns and glares at me again. Like it’s my fault she just got caught threatening me.

“Isabel, I don’t know what your problem is, but you better leave Liz alone.”

“Or what?”

“Or you’ll have, me, Michael, Max, Tess, Ava, Kyle, Alex, Sean and even Courtney to deal with.”

“but Maria you’re my best friend.” She says in a scared tone.

“No I’m not Isabel. You are your own best friend. You’ve always cared more about the fact that you’re popular than whom you are. And our tight knit group of friends just happens to be respected, and you use us. You use us all. If you don’t get your act together, you’ll lose the only friends you’ve ever had.”

Wow. Isabel looks shell-shocked. And she storms past Maria and out of the school.

I take the time to release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

I wish I could have been stronger, stood up to her. But everything about Isabel in that moment scared me. Hit a cord, struck a nerve.

And right there in front of Maria I started crying.

Maria walks over to me and puts her arms around me.

“She, she reminded me of my father. I almost had a panic attack waiting for her to throw something at me. And what she said, her tone. It was like she took bitch lessons from my dad.”

Maria tightens her arms around me. I hear someone at the door and I know without looking that it’s Max. Maria’s arms leave me only to be quickly replaced by Max’s.

Why am I so weak?

Max whispers words of love in my ear.

And before I know it I’m in the jeep headed for home.

Once we get there Max takes me up stairs and I collapse on the bed. He just lies down beside me and holds me while I cry.

“I love you.” I say before I find myself in a deep slumber.

I’ve only told one person that I love them, well two if you count Max. Him and my mom. After mom died, I decided no one else was worth the words. But he is. It’s hard for me to say. But I do love him. So much.

I don’t remember falling asleep.

But now I’m awake, just watching him. I’m so glad that Lily and Ed aren’t going to be back for another couple of days.

The thought of sleeping without his arms around me is just terrifying.

I feel him stir beside me and I smile.

He smiles back and brings my face up for a gentle kiss.

This is one of those moments when you just want to sigh, to let the world know your content.

“Are you ok?” He asks breaking the kiss.

“I hate being so weak.” I breathe.

“You aren’t weak. You’ve got problems. We all do. Your beautiful.”

I smile in spite of myself.

“Your crazy.” I tell him.

He pulls me on top of him and I can’t help but giggle.

Is this really me? Pessimistic Liz Parker, unable to love and be loved.

“Crazy about you.” What a line! Oh my gosh. He used a line.

But of course, I still smile and kiss him teasingly.

I love this man.

I don’t know what I did to please the gods, but let me know so I can keep on doing it. I’ve got this theory that one day if I’m miserable, things will get perfect, and if things are perfect something will happen to make me miserable.

So now things are perfect and I’m waiting for it all to crashdown around me, like the spaceship back in 47’.

Max and I decide to get up and go get some food. Though we decide to avoid the crashdown and go to Peppers Café.
posted on 1-Aug-2002 3:05:13 PM by Jiggers
I had a brain freeze ... I guess while I was away I didn't post part 12 ... but I posted it on another board so I confused myself and everyone else ... lol ... if I had the energy I'd go edit part 12 in before part 13 (and I will eventually) just not right now ...

I'm getting really particular about my writing, because I have to start working on editing and such cause I may end up with my poetry published soon, so I'm going to start Using my amazing Beta Mary Jean for all my fics instead of just Let me in

thanks
Jigga-gin
posted on 29-Sep-2002 10:24:50 PM by Jiggers
Part Fourteen

Isabel follows me up the stairs. I can’t quite catch my breath.

Max seemed like everything was ok, and I trust him.

She looks so broken; I never thought I’d see her looking at me with such, sadness.

I sit down on the couch and draw my knees up to my chest.

“Liz. I’m so sorry.” She looks at me.

“I just, I have no idea what’s wrong with me. I’ve felt so alone, Max and I used to be all each other had, even with the others, we were still close, a few years ago it started to change. I realize now that I started to change.

And then you come in, and I can tell my brother is head over hills for you. And finally I have someone to blame it on…”

She trails off and looks down at her hands.

“Are you expecting us to hug and for everything to suddenly be ok? Cause I’m sorry but I can’t do that.” I look at her straight in the eyes.

“I just thought …”

My confidence is growing here and I’m not ready to let her step all over me like my father used to.

“Isabel I spent years and years with a man who would throw things at me, hit me, hurt me in every way possible. This man who was suppose to love me unconditionally, and he’d come back and he’d cry and say he was sorry and tell me he was stressed and missed my mom, or that his boss was coming down on him, or that he’d gotten a freaking speeding ticket on the way home. And then he’d hug me and tell me he was so sorry and that he loved me. And the next night he’d come home and corner me in my room like you cornered me today and he’d tell me I was worthless and that I should have died instead of my mother. Then I’d let him hit me cause there was nothing else to do, and then I’d go to my bathroom and cut up my legs because it made everything else go away. I can never forgive my father for what he did to me.”

I have tears running down my eyes.

“Liz …” she starts

“No, I know you had no idea, no one has any idea, but the fact is you tried to dominate me, scare me and make me feel worthless for some stupid reason. You can’t do that to people. I let you scare me today, but I’m not letting you do to me what my dad was so good at. You have to fix yourself. I don’t trust you, nor do I particularly want to be around you right now. You can think I’m a bitch I don’t care but you have no idea who you are becoming if you keep this shit up.”

We were both silent for a while. She just stared at me, I could tell she was crying, but I felt relieved. I may have never been able to stand up to my dad, but I wasn’t going to let her do the same thing.

She finally looks up and wipes her eyes.

“I understand. I hope that I can some how make you trust me. But I want you to know that I really am sorry. And I’m glad Max found you.”

With that she got up and walked out of the apartment. I just stared at the floor.

A few minutes later I heard the door open. I didn’t look up, I didn’t have to, it was Max.

“She told me what you said.” He sat down next to me.

“I didn’t want to be harsh, but …”

he put a finger to my lips and murmured “shhh…”

I looked at him and he wiped the tears from my eyes, his lips slowly descended on mine and I felt so safe right there in his arms.

Ava and Kyle walked in on us.

I looked up at them, wanting to explain but not really want to.

“You alright?” Ava asked me.

I nod, Tess comes in just seconds later.

Kyle puts his arm around her and the three of them just look at us.

I’m thinking “what?”

____

MAX POV

I wish they wouldn’t stare like that, it’s making me nervous.

I try to tell them to go away with my eyes, but they just aren’t getting it.

Finally Kyle wises up, “Come on doublemint … lets give them some alone time.” I laugh at the nickname Liz had coined for the twins. Kyle gets a jab in the stomach from both sides, then they leave.

“Why were they staring at us?” Liz asks, now much calmer than she was before.

“Probably because I told them what I was going to ask you, and they assumed I already had.”

Oh shit I just said that didn’t I. She looks at me quizzically.

“What?”

I can’t help but smile, she is so beautiful.

I put my hand in my pocket and pull out the velvet box. Her eyes grow wide.

I open it and the simple silver ring with a small diamond peeks out from the blue velvet.

“It’s a promise ring. We’re not ready for marriage, I mean I could marry you tonight and be happy, but I want more for us. I just want everyone to know your mine.”

I can’t tell what she’s thinking.

“Liz …”

Then she looks at me eyes full of tears.

“Max, I love you so much. I never believed I could love anyone. But you, of course. I’m already yours.”

I smile and put the ring on her finger, I kiss it, imagining the other rings that I will place there. I can’t tell her, but I’ve already got the engagement ring to fit next to this one, and the band to accompany those two.

I know it’s soon, but I love her.