SHE CRIES YOUR NAME

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Authors: Petal (aka MrsJBehr) and Melissa (aka AngelKisses70)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own the show Roswell nor its characters. This is just my depiction of how I think the storyline should move.
Summary: Takes place after Departure. My twist on what should have happened. It contains some spoilers from Departure with some things changed.
Author’s Note: This is dedicated to a very distinguished writer and friend – AngelKisses70. Thank you so much Mel for the help on this story. I hope it will be as well received as your Trilogies.

Chapter One

"They say that history has a way of repeating itself as time goes on, but I keep questioning it all as I kneel here before his headstone. The engraved letters in the polished black marble don't help make any of this real to me. He's gone. There's no way to get him back. No way to turn back the hands of Father Time. I reach out and touch the earth that supposedly hold his remains, but only the four of us know that there is no body. Tess has taken even that away from us.
"She killed him before our eyes in the Granolith chamber before taking off. The image of his fallen body overlaid by hues of purple and blue, his face distorted in pain, and then the lifeless stare of his eyes, as he fell to his knees, will remain forever etched in my memory. Max Evans--Antar's king and my soul mate--is dead. And once again, I am left alone."

*****************

Liz wiped away the stray tear that ran down her cheek. She’d promised herself so many times over the last three weeks not to cry. But every time she came here, to a place she felt oddly close to him, all of the emotions that she tried to hide would spill forth. Sometimes, she’d lose complete control and end up sobbing against the soil of the empty grave. But today...today is different. The doctor’s words ring in her mind: "You’re pregnant."
In wondering amazement, Liz placed her hand against her still flat stomach. A child—Max’s child--was growing there within her, giving her a quiet strength. She thought about how a part of him would be hers forever because of their son. Somehow, she knew, deep down, that the baby was a boy, and, that he'd have Max’s beautiful brown, soulful eyes, his inner strength and his huge heart. The thought made her smile a bit, for the first time in so long, and her mind went back to that night:

"Do you love her?" she'd asked, holding her breath in anticipation of his answer.
"Not like I love you," he replied before taking her lips with his own.
In that brief moment, nothing else mattered. Liz closed her eyes, hoping that he would see all of the secrets she had been hiding from him.
But it ended too soon, just like their entire relationship. She felt her heart shatter. "I guess this is goodbye," she whispered, trying to hold back the tears as she got out of the jeep.
Entering the Crashdown, passing the booth he’d often sit in, she could feel her bottled emotions threatening to overcome her. Her heart racing, she ran, and didn't stop until she reached the safety of her room. The same thought kept repeating itself in her head, "It was over. After all they’d been through, it was over."

Moments later, she felt it--his presence. Looking towards her open window, she found him standing there, looking back at her, and for a moment, she thought it was a dream. "Max," she whispered.
He moved quickly, and before she realized it, he placed his lips on hers, letting her know immediately that he was real.
She felt torn. Part of her screamed that he shouldn’t be here, that he'd just broken her heart into a million pieces. But, a part of her, the part that could forgive him anything, wanted and needed this. Tess, the baby, Future Max, Alex, everything they'd said and done to each other over the past two months...it was all forgotten. She needed to be close to him now, to feel and reach for that connection they always had, to find some sort of understanding, and through that kiss she knew he needed it too.

Cut beneath the surface screen
Of what we say and what we seem
Is a truth to be seen?

She keeps cryin out your name
But her scream sounds the same
How fickle fate can be...

She cries your name
Three times again
She cries your name
How long can this love remain?

He kissed her - deeper, harder and with so much emotion that she could almost feel herself dying within his arms. He moved his lips down over her jaw line to the soft pulse at her neck, sucking softly on it as if to say she was still alive.
She pulled him down with her to her soft, waiting bed. As he moved, she felt the passion between them rise and the tingle of their connection coming to life again.
He kissed her, and their tongues dueled to explore each other as deep as possible. She wrapped her arms around his neck, spanning her fingers in the thickness of his soft dark hair. She felt his hands attempting to caress every part of her body through her clothes. It wasn’t enough.
She felt him unbutton the front of her sweater. Logic screamed for her to stop him, but a deeper voice within whispered, "No, this is right."
Her body instinctively arched up to meet him, as she felt his warm mouth capture her right breast. She groaned in semi-satisfaction, her heart speeding up as the warmth elicited by Max’s touch, spread to her soul.
She reached up, fumbling to open his shirt. He moved back to help, removing it in one flawless move, then coming back immediately to continue his exploration.
So wrapped up in the depth of this feeling within her, she didn’t know when or how they both ended up naked, laying next to each other. She stared into his eyes, gliding her hands over his chest, trying to commit every touch, every muscle to memory.


As he positioned himself over her, she saw a tear roll down his cheek. Slowly, he entered her until he reached her barrier. He stopped and looked down at her. She saw the hesitation in his eyes, felt it coming off of him. She reached up and brushed the tear away.
She wanted this. She knew that she wouldn’t be his first, but right now she would settle for him being hers. She loved him. She always would, so she took the leap.

"Liz!" she heard him cry, as her momentary pain traveled across their connection. He gazed down at her, amazement and love shining in his eyes. She reached up and stroked his cheek as he rubbed his face into her palm. After a few moments, she moved, starting them slowly on a rhythm that would take them both to newer heights.
When their connection flooded open, she felt everything from him: his amazement that she'd let him in so completely, his excitement to be making love to her, the only person in the world he had ever loved, and his promise that he would never forget or stop loving her, that she was his first in his heart and always would be.
She felt him nearing his release, but holding back because he wanted her to be there with him. Keening softly, she tumbled over the edge with him, shuddering around him as he filled her with his seed and his love, unable to discern where she began and he ended.
As they rode out the storm, Liz saw everything in the flashes that filled her mind: his pain when he’d walked in on her and Kyle, when he’d argued with Isabel about college, and when she’d yelled that it was his fault that Alex was dead. She felt his feelings of abandonment, betrayal and most of all, his utter aloneness. In that moment, she understood it all and, looking into his eyes, she knew he understood hers.
"I love you," he whispered. "I’ll always love you. Only you."
"I know," she replied softly. "I love you too."

She'd wanted to stay in his arms forever, safe from the outside world. She'd wanted him to forget about everything else, but all too soon, she'd felt him move, getting up to leave.
"Don’t go," she'd whispered, pleading.
He'd stopped and turned to stroke her face and kiss her lips again. "God, I wish I could," he'd cried, "I wish I could turn back time and change everything except this night." He pulled away to look in her eyes. "But, my son. I have to go for him, and only him."

She'd held back the tears at the pain in his voice, and whispered, "I know." Then, she'd watched him get dressed and leave through her window, knowing that it would be the last time she’d see him.
Staring at the headstone, a deep fear blossomed within her. She’d almost forgotten that the Skins and the rest of the aliens were still on Earth. If any of them found out about their son, his life would be over before it even began.
"No!" she whispered softly, staring at the headstone and hoping somehow Max's soul would hear her. "I will keep him a secret from everyone for as long as I can. I love you, my darling. I’ll be strong for you, and I’ll keep him safe, always."

*****************

The figure lurking in the shadows behind the trees frowned. Something was different about this woman Zan had spent so much time with. Did she know somehow that Zan was alive? He wasn't sure, but he knew that whatever secret she was keeping, it would change everything. He needed to know what it was and report it as soon as he could.



Chapter two

Max awoke in a daze, looking out at stars that seemed to be flying by. He felt a familiar presence next to him, and suddenly, he remembered everything. Liz, Maria and Kyle had scrambled into the cave screaming that they'd been betrayed, and that Tess had killed Alex.
"God, I trusted her! I believed her over Liz, and I slept with her!" he thought, dread forming a hard knot in his stomach. "And now, she's going to be the mother of my son...."
"Max? Max, are you awake?"
He remained silent, hoping that she would realize that talking to her was the last thing he wanted to do. But, Tess wasn’t like that. She couldn’t feel or read him the way Liz had always been able to do. So, when she reached out to touch him, he jerked away.
"How could you?" he demanded, choking on the words. "How could you kill Alex and lie about it?"
He saw her recoil slightly.
"I had to Max," Tess said softly. "We needed to find out what the book said, and Nasedo died before he could show me how to read it. Alex was the only one who could do it."
"Why?"
"Because, he wouldn’t be missed," she stated, pausing briefly. "And I needed to be around you...to help you remember who you are."
He stared at her with disgust as she continued.
"Alex’s mind couldn’t take the continuous hold the warp elicited. He broke free. He was going to tell you what I'd done. I couldn’t let that happen; not when you were finally opening up to me."
"So you killed him!" he accused angrily.
"What does it matter now?" she screamed in exasperation. "We’re almost home."
"It matters Tess! Life matters! Alex’s, yours, mine--"
"Liz’s..." she hissed, interrupting. "That’s what this is all about, isn’t it Max? I gave you everything. I devoted both of my lifetimes to you. I’m pregnant with your son. But all you can think about is that bitch you claim to love!"
"Don’t you ever call her that again!" he snapped. "Liz means more to me than you ever will!" He saw the momentary look of shock and hurt that flashed in her eyes, before it changed to one of contentment.
"Fine," she said. "Too bad you’ll never see her again, and all that she can do is think about her loss."
"What’s that supposed to mean?" he asked, moving closer to her in the confining space of the granolith.
Tess smiled cattily, meeting his gaze boldly.
"You mind warped them," he said slowly, answering his own question.
"Yes"
"What did you make them see?" he asked, his voice rising slightly.
"Me killing you," she said, triumphantly. "They think you’re dead Max. They all think you’re dead. Their once strong and fearless King of Antar "
Her words shot through him, reverberating off the walls of the odd ship. He slumped against a wall, as the reality of his situation sunk in, filling him with pain. Sliding down the wall, only one thought passed through his mind as he rested his head in his hands, defeated. "Tess has me exactly where she wants me--alone to fight it all."

*****************

From her lawn chair, Liz stared up at the carpet of stars in the night sky. It was one in the morning, but she couldn’t sleep. Her dreams kept being haunted by nightmares of that fateful day at the pod chamber. The only place she’d been able to sleep peacefully was here on her balcony where she knew Max's soul watched over her.
Closing her eyes, she tried one more time to be drawn into sleep.

She felt herself falling into the void. At first, she could hardly make out where she was, only that there were voices all around her.
"Hello?" she called, only to hear her own voice echo a response. "Hello!" she cried again. Again, it echoed. "Where am I?"
Silence.
"Where am I?"
Silence.
Then, out of nowhere a voice said softly, "I had to...."
"Why?" another distorted voice demanded.
"Who’s there?" she yelled, trying to reach the owners of the voices.
"We needed to know."
"Why?"
"Please! Tell me whose there!" She reached out her hands in the dark, fumbling to move forward.
"It doesn’t matter now!"
"It matters… Life matters!"
The voices seemed to be in the midst of an argument, but she couldn’t recognize either one. "What is this?" she wondered. "Why am I here?"
"Why?" one of the voices demanded again.
"Because."
"Why?"
"Because…because…because."
Everything around her began to spin. She scrambled to lean back against the wall and close her eyes. As the echoes faded, she opened her eyes to find herself in stasis within a cloud of stars.
"Why?"
"Because"
"Because what?" she asked.
As if to answer her, one of the voices replied, "Because! You’re dead…dead…dead."

"No!" Liz screamed, sitting upright as the sound of her alarm clock came blaring through her open bedroom window. Feeling the warmth of the morning sun against her skin, she realized she was home.
"It was all a dream," she whispered repeatedly to herself.
Slowly, her breathing returned to normal, and her hands went instinctively to her stomach. "Momma’s okay, sweetie," she said softly, standing up to go and get ready for school. "It was just a dream."
But somewhere, deep inside, she felt a stirring that it might be much more.

*****************

"Mmmm," Maria murmured, breaking away from Michael’s kiss. She snuggled closer into his embrace, the only place where she felt safe lately. Resting her head against his shoulder, she thought back to the day when he’d made the choice to stay with her. It should have been one of the happiest days of her life.
Closing her eyes, she saw herself, once again, standing in the granolith chamber, watching helplessly as Liz screamed out their discovery, only to have the unthinkable happen. Tess killed Max with one blow, the memory of his stunned gaze as he fell, forever etched in everyone's mind. Isabel, Michael, Kyle, Liz, even herself - none of them had had the time to react.
Gliding a hand across Michael's chest, she knew that he felt guilty. That he blamed himself, for stepping away, just moments before it happened, to stay behind, for leaving them alone in Tess’ hands, and in the end, for not saving Max. She kissed his neck softly, trying to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault, only to feel him tighten his arms around her. She looked up and followed his gaze.
Her heart sank when she saw Liz, pale and alone, sit down at the table--the one the six of them had previously claimed--across the quad and begin to mechanically eat her lunch. "First Alex, then Max," she thought. "Life has been so cruel to her, and Liz has taken it all without complaint."
She looked back at Michael. "I’m worried about Liz," she said.
"I know," he replied, concern evident in his voice. "Isabel’s the same way."
"It’s not normal to keep everything inside like that. Liz isn’t dealing. She hasn’t even cried since this happened, and I know she’s hurting. Every time I try to talk to her, she puts on this false persona, saying that she's "okay," but all I have to do is say Max’s name, and she shuts down. I don’t understand why she won't talk to me. I’m her best friend!"
"Shhh!" he soothed, kissing the top of her head to calm her down. "Isabel has her Ice Princess persona on again."
"It's not healthy, Michael. They need to open up."
"Maybe we should get them to talk to each other."
She sat up at his statement and hugged him. "I knew I loved you for a reason Spaceboy!" she exclaimed, and then paused. "But, how do we get them to meet?"
"I have an idea," he said, and began whispering in her ear.


Author's note
Thank you so much for all of the great feedback on the old board. Chapter 3 is being reviewed, and I'm working on Chapter 4 now. Please keep reading, and leaving feedback.*big*
*bounce*