posted on 9-Jun-2002 10:31:59 PM by behriandreamer786
Title: Walk On
Author: Amber
Rating: PG-13
Category: Other (Has all the character and some couples)
Disclaimer: Don't own them................wish I did. Roswell would be a much better place.
Summary: Set after Departure. Different characters POV. Each section will focus on one person, but the first section is all the characters.

I'd lost the only girl I ever loved because I stopped believing in her. She knows how sorry I am and even understands to some degree. Somehow after everything, she still loves me. I don't deserve her. I don't deserve her love. I don't know why she's still here. It doesn't matter to me. All that matters is that she's back in my arms. I've got my life back. I can feel again. I can love again.

After I heard Max in there yelling at Tess and defending me.........I crumbled. I'd built a wall around myself. My emotions. It started to fall when he told me about Tess. More came down when he asked me if I'd slept with Kyle and then kissed me. What remained was destroyed after he told me that I was the only thing he'd done right in his life. Now it's hours later and no one's here to comfort me. My wall is gone and I can feel.....and it hurts. Alex is....god, I can't even say it. He's really gone. I always half expected him to come walking back into our lives at any moment. Tess.....killed him. And Max. He slept with her and now she's having his child. I wasn't his first. My first born won't also be his. I just wish everything could be normal. Thing is, I can't find where normal is.

My whole life I've been searching for answers. The one chance I get to find them, I threw it all away. For her. That scares me. What scares me more is that if I wouldn't have come out, we never would have known the truth about Tess, and we would have gone home and died. What scares me the most, is the fact that Max was irrational. First, he went against everything he believed in and slept with Tess. Then, after he knew that Liz didn't sleep with Kyle, and knew that she loved him. Even told her he loved her back, loved her more than Tess, he still would have left. She figured out all by herself about Alex, and it turns out that she was right all along. If Max would have listened to her, and helped her, we would have found out about Alex's death even sooner, and then Tess wouldn't be pregnant now, and everything would be okay. They need each other. He needs her to be a good leader, but I think he may have destroyed his chances with her. It doesn't matter, I have Maria. I don't envy Max Evans anymore.

I am still shocked that he would give up everything he's dreamed of, his family, for me. He told me that one day he was going to leave, and he almost did. When the door opened, I expected Max to come out because everyone knows he can't live without Liz. I've seen that firsthand. If it wasn't Max, I knew it would have been Isabel, because she didn't want to go. She was against it the whole time. I never would have dreamed that Michael would have came out. But, I'm glad he did. For once I have the perfect boyfriends, and Liz was left to stare in awe.

I hated the way we were after Tess left. Max and Liz. Michael and Maria. Kyle. Me. I can't believe she used Alex like that and then killed him. How could anyone want to harm Alex? He's still with me. He's in my dreams sometimes. I know that he doesn't want to be there, but I can't let go of him. Not yet. I don't know if I ever can. I love him, more than anyone could know. Can I ever love again?

She used me. I gave up my room, my life. Spilled my secrets to her and she used me to help cover up Alex's murder. I should be happy that she's gone, but I'm not. I'm...........sad. She took a part of me with her, and that part of me will always love her. She can keep that part. I don't want it. I want to forget. I'm numb now, but it will wear off. When it does, I'm scared of what I'll find. What I'll feel.

I want to kill that bastard. He broke her heart again. I don't know how much more she can take. If he's so honorable, why does he break her and then let her go and then bring her back? I see what she doesn't. I love her, but I can't keep picking up the pieces. I'm afraid to make her choose. Afraid she'll choose him. Afraid she'll choose me, but keep going back to him. Afraid I'll lose her. I know she doesn't remember now, but when we were little........I need to calm down before I do something irrational and I really kill him. I need to calm down, but I can't.

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 27-Jun-2002 9:56:20 AM ]
posted on 11-Jun-2002 11:50:33 AM by behriandreamer786
SarahWhitman originally wrote:
This is interesting...but uhm...I'm confused/lost. Who was the last person?

The last person was Sean. I plan on posting the new part within a few days. Thanks for being patient.

posted on 13-Jun-2002 10:29:34 AM by behriandreamer786
Part 2

I have to get her back. I have her back, but I want her BACK. I need her to understand why I......why I slept with Tess. Half of it was that Tess was there and I thought things between me and Liz were beyond repair. The other half was to get back at her for sleeping with Kyle. I wish I hadn't. I wish that with all my heart. "Liz?" I called from the bottom of her fire escape. I hear some movement and then her head popped over the balcony. "Hey," she said softly. My eyes lit up when I saw her. "Can I come up and talk?" "Sure," she finally answered. I hated the hesitation in her voice. I know she was expecting something bad and more pain. When I reached the top, I couldn't help myself. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her with everything I had in me. It had been so long since we could just be together like this because we could and we wanted to. Somewhere during that kiss the flashes started. Wait, was that me? It couldn't be. I don't have long hair. Why is Liz crying? What do you mean fall out of love with me? A wedding in Vegas? Why is he disappearing leaving Liz dancing by herself? I pulled away and I could tell by her eyes that she knew everything about Tess. Everything I had come here to tell her. I stared at her speechlessly, and she looked torn between forgiveness and anger about Tess. I regained my voice first. "Liz, I don't understand. Who was that, and why did he say those things to you?" She turned and looked at me, and I could tell she knew what I had seen. "It was you." My mouth dropped open and she pulled me down next to her on the bed. I watched as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning back towards me. "A version of you from 14 years in the future came back to me. He told me that the world had ended because Tess was not with the group when your enemies came to Earth. Tess left because you drove her away. I had to make you fall out of love with me. I tried everything, but in the end I had to stage that scene with Kyle. It doesn't matter now though. It was all in vain, because she left anyway. Now the world will end, and I've screwed up everyone's lives in the process." She started sobbing uncontrollably and I pulled her into my arms. "Liz, it's going to be okay," I said reassuringly stroking her hair. "No, it's not." "Liz, I'm stronger when I'm with you. Plus, we know that you have powers and are capable of using them. We'll work things out, I promise." "Max.....did you really mean that Tess was only second best and you thought about me the entire time?" The look in her eyes made my whole body melt. She looked so vulnerable, so innocent. Like her entire world rested on my answer. "Yes. I only went to her in desperation. She could never replace you. She wasn't you." I pulled her closer and brushed her tears away with my thumbs. "Liz, I'm not asking for forgiveness. I just want you." I cupped her face in my hands, and pulled her closer. I could feel her breath against my lips. Slowly I leaned in and finally, my lips touched hers. I was home. "Liz, I love you," I murmured against her lips. "I love you too, she mumbled. I pulled her back to me and kissed her with all my built up passion.
posted on 27-Jun-2002 9:55:28 AM by behriandreamer786
Title: Walk On

I rolled over and stared at him. God, he is so beautiful. I could just watch him sleeping forever. He had been so gentle and so concerned about me the whole time. I climbed out of bed and pulled on my robe. I grabbed my journal and went out to my balcony. I sat down in my lawn chair and began to write.

So much has changed. Tess is gone and Max knows everything about Future Max. He came by tonight and we....we made love. I love him, but I still........Don't get me wrong. I don't regret it, but I'm just afraid that he'll leave. I know that sounds weird considering that we're talking about Max, but still....

I put my pen down and gazed at the stars. The stars that had almost taken my love away. I don't notice the tears running down my face until I feel them fall into my hands. He must have sensed how upset I was, because he was there holding me in his arms while I sobbed. I finally got control of my emotions and looked up into his worried eyes. "Liz, you don't regret." I quieted him by placing my lips over his. "No, I could never regret anything that ever happened between me and you. I just realized that I lost Alex, and I almost lost you, and I almost drove everyone away." "Liz, you will never lose me. I've never stopped loving you and I can't live without you. You're my everything." We sat in silence for a while longer while I gathered the courage to asked my next question. "Max, what are you going to do about your child?" I asked worriedly. "I don't know, but I know that whatever I decide to do it will be with you by my side. I can't not be with you anymore. If I could go back to after you 'slept' with Kyle I would. I would have demanded to know the truth, followed my heart, stayed away form Tess. Even now, I don't know why I did what I did." "You can't live in the past, Max. You have to focus on your future. We can't change anything, so there's no point in dwelling on that. I've learned that the hard way," I said glancing downwards. "thank you." "For what?" "Saving my life again. Putting everyone's happiness before yours. For being you. For loving me." I smiled up at him and laid my head back down in his lap. Right here, right now, I know everything's going to be okay. I just hope it will stay that way.