posted on 13-Jun-2002 8:37:19 PM by jasper711
Title: Bed of Roses
Author: Jasper711
Email: Jasper7132⊕
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with anything Roswell. Lyrics belong to Jonathan Davis. Song sung by Chester Bennington. No infringement intended.
Category: POV, AU, UC
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Two people have been hurt for the last time, finding love the least place they expected it.

[ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ]

[SYSTEM] 1/1


We walk into school, hand in hand.

I can feel myself shaking, afraid of what people will say when they see us together.

But he just squeezes my hand, giving me all of the reassurance that I need.

I should know by now that he will be my rock.

Just the same way I was his before we arrived here.


We walk past the other students, noting that the whispering has begun.

But we’re not going to trouble ourselves with what they will think of us.

All that matters is us.


I breath a sigh of relief, thinking how nice that sounds.


Nothing in between to tear us apart.

You fell away

The whispers begin to get louder, and I can’t help but look up.

I see him standing there, looking at me with a curious look.

He’s probably heard it by now and I’m surprised to say that I don’t care.

Looking into his eyes, is a completely different experience.

It doesn’t feel the way it used to.

Not anymore.

Not when someone else invokes those feelings inside me.

The bell rings and I feel him rub the small of my back lovingly.

I strain my neck to smile up at him, standing on my tiptoes to receive his kiss.

What more can I say?

The gasps echo all around me.

But I can’t hear it.

All I hear is my labored breathing mingling with his until the moment his lips touch mine.

The feelings evolved

I feel my knees shake, threatening to knock me from my standing position.

But he’s there to catch me.

Just like he’s always been.

I won't let it out

We part and he touches my cheek lovingly.

He whispers sweet nothings in my ear, and I realize that I’m falling deeper in love with my tall, dark, and handsome man.

We go our separate ways to class.

I can't replace

I sit in class and I feel a pair of eyes burning holes into the back of my head.

I look back at him and I see his pain, his confusion written over his incredibly soulful eyes.

I always said that he didn’t have to say a word for me to know what he’s thinking.

It still applies now, but it doesn’t have the same meaning it used to.

He was my first love.

Nothing will change that.

Not even my special someone can erase the past.

But first love doesn’t always mean true love.

Your screaming face

When class ends, he corners me.

He keeps asking, “Why?”

He thinks we’re doing this to hurt them.

But we’re not.

Feeling the sickness inside

We didn’t mean for this to happen.

You can’t choose who you fall in love with.

Why won't you die?

He shakes his head at me, saying that he still loved me.

That he would change for the better.

But that just isn’t possible.

I’m in love with someone else.

If only he could see that instead of driving that stake deeper into his heart.

I tell him.

Over and over again.

But how can you speak to someone who isn’t listening?

Your blood in mine

He tells me that we’re connected in a way that will be forever.

And I agree with him, unaware that it would give him a false sense of hope.

Will be fine

But I have to shoot him down.

I hate to sound so uncaring, but he just can’t take the hint.

He’s had plenty of time to mend the broken fences.

But he never did.

He persists, saying that he'll make it work this time.

That my love can't give me what he can.

Then your body will be mine

I’m beginning to think that his pleading doesn’t really have a whole lot to do with how much he loves me.

I think the idea of me being with someone else bothers him.

Almost like he doesn’t want me, but at the same time doesn’t want anyone else to have me.

So many words

There’s so much to say, so many words I’d like to use to hurt him.

But I’m not going to take that route.

I didn’t do this to purposefully hurt them.

That was never our intention.

But of course, he doesn’t see it that way.

And neither does she.

She’s here now, saying that I’m spiteful.

Can't describe my face

And that’s the last straw.

My carefully gauged anger barrels out of control.

This feeling's evolved

I didn’t want it to come to this.

I really didn’t.

But they aren’t giving me a choice.

So soon to great bounds

I tell them that this isn’t about them.

That the whole universe doesn’t revolve around their selfishness.

I can't relate

I stun them into silence.

to a happy state

But it isn’t healthy for anyone to live in a dream world.

Ignoring the facts to make yourself feel better doesn’t help anyone.

Finally gaining her composure back, she accuses me of intending to do this all along.

To hurt all of them.

Feeling the blood run inside

She laughs without mirth, saying that I’ll get what I deserve soon enough.

That in the end, my love will fall victim to my system of hurting everyone.

Why is everything so fucking hard for me?

I feel the tears prick the back of my eyes.

Everyone’s watching, listening to her diatribe.

They watch, waiting for the elusive Liz Parker crumble under the pressure.

Keep me down to watch you (?????)

But like a knight in shining armor, he’s at my side.

I feel his strength fill me, surrounding me.

I realize that she’s just trying to bring me down to her level.

To spout off malicious words.

But I’m not falling for it.

Must you tempt me and provoke the ministry?

She continues to goad us, but it isn’t working.

Not when we have each other.

Keep on trying, I'm not done so easily (I will not die)

She whispers in a threatening voice that she will make us pay.

She takes her brother’s hand, making it known that he will side with her till his dying day.

Surprisingly, it doesn't even bother us like we thought it would.

We were always second fiddle to their selfish way.

But that's not going to happen anymore.

Why is everything so fucking hard for me? (I will not die)

I hear the whispers.

I hear them calling me a bitch for hurting the innocent Max Evans.

I hear them say that I’m evil for digging salt in their wounds by dating Isabel’s ex.

Why is everything so fucking hard for me? (I will not die)

But all of my anger and frustration dissipates when he holds me.

He reminds me that this is all worth it because we’re together.

He takes my hand and leads me outside.

“I love you, Liz. That’s all that matters.”

I smile up at him, knowing that nothing anyone can say or do will ever keep me down as long as we're together.

“I love you too, Alex.”


[ edited 3 time(s), last at 14-Jun-2002 10:45:13 PM ]
posted on 14-Jun-2002 10:45:49 PM by jasper711
Title: Bed of Roses
Author: Jasper711
Email: Jasper7132⊕
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with anything Roswell. Song belongs to Incubus. No infringement intended.
Category: POV, AU, UC, Series
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Two people have been hurt for the last time, finding love the least place they expected it.



I strum my fingers against the cords of my base, softly humming to myself.

I probably have to goofiest grin on my face, but I don’t care.

Liz says it’s an endearing quality and that thought makes me blush.

Thinking about her sends tingles down my spine.

Who would’ve ever thought that Liz and I.....

It’s still a hard concept for people to grasp, but I don’t worry about it too much.

Liz makes me see the importance of life, and I realize that I’d much rather be in love with her than spend my time worrying about what people think.

She’s amazing like that.

She has the ability to love so much that I’m just completely floored by the idea that I’m the one she loves.

Bat your eyes girl, be otherworldly,

There’s a knock on my window.

I can see the outline of her body against the glass pane.

Before I even open the window, she’s clambering to get inside.

And before I can stop her, she’s kissing me.

count your blessings, seduce a stranger.

I recoil at her touch, feeling as though my lips have been burned.

I can’t believe that I used to dream about her doing that to me.

But I’m not going to buy it this time.

I’m not going to let my romantic notions about being in love get in the way of how I handle this situation.

What's so wrong with being happy?

I’m through being a human doormat.

I deserve better than that.

Kudos to those who see through sickness.

I deserve better than what she gave me.

I don’t have to settle for anything less when it comes to my feelings.

Not anymore.

When she woke in the morning

She sits back surprised.

I’m sure she thought that she would just come waltzing back here and I would bow down on my knees, in thanks for allowing me to take her back.

she knew that her life had passed her by.

I’m pretty sure she didn’t expect me to rebuff her.


But I’m a new man.

Liz brought out that side of me and I’ll be forever indebted to her for loving me enough to make me see that I’m so much more special than the way I’m being treated.

And she called out a warning,

Her eyes stare right through me, and I wonder if she’s actually capable of showing any real emotion anymore.

She hasn’t done it with me for so long that I have to wonder if she even has the ability to feel.

"Don't ever let life pass you by."

She threatens to tell Liz about my indiscretion.

About how I kissed her when she got here.

I’m astonished that she would say something like that to me.

To the one person who believed she actually had a soul.

Just because she’s unhappy with her life, she can’t just drag me down with her every and any time she feels like it.

I won’t let her.

I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal.

I tell her to stop playing her games.

That trying to hurt me isn’t going to accomplish anything in regards to the situation.

Because even if she tells Liz a lie, Liz will know the truth.

She’s far too strong for anyone to beat her with a lie, regardless of what anyone thinks.

When will we learn? When will we change?

Isabel tells me to stop pretending that I don’t want her.

To stop leading Liz on.

And I just have to sit back and see her in a new light.

I can’t even believe half of the things that are coming out of her mouth.

I don’t understand how I was so blind to all of this before.

Just in time to see it all fall down.

But I have to set her straight.

I’m sick of everyone thinking that my relationship with Liz is just a ploy to hurt the Evans siblings.

The two of them were the last thing on our minds when we fell in love.

Those left standing... will make millions...

I tell her the truth.

I tell her that after everything, Liz and I will stand together in the end.

That our relationship isn’t based on hiding and lying.

The two of us loving each other and we don’t need permission from anyone.

Especially not her, or Max.

She steps backwards, finally walking away.

writing books on the way it should have been.

I’m sure she still thinks that I am going out of my way to hurt her and her brother.

But I don’t think I care anymore.

I’ve spent too much time catering to her needs.

I’ve spent way too much time trying to make my emotions stand still while I take care of her.

I’m glad that I’ve learned from my experience.

I only hope that she does the same.

It doesn’t have to be today, or even tomorrow.

I’d just like her to realize that she can’t continue to treat people the way she does.

Things don’t work that way.

And I’m pretty sure that she’s going to realize soon enough that I stuck around longer than anyone else would have.

When she woke in the morning

But even if she doesn’t, I don’t think I’m going to worry about.

She’s not my concern anymore.

Just like I haven’t been hers for a long time even before we broke up.

she knew that her life had passed her by.

I call Liz to tell her the truth.

And she called out a warning,

And I can’t say that I’m surprised to hear her reaction.

She tells me that Isabel’s just hurt.

Just the same way Max is.

The two of them allowed Max and Isabel believe that they could treat them like they were rag dolls, being thrown around at their whims, not caring how tattered they became.

Liz tells me that whatever anger anyone feels towards us will pass.

And even if it doesn’t, there’s no reason to concern ourselves.

The two of us are together.

This relationship isn’t between the whole human race.

Or even the alien race.

"Don't ever let life pass you by."

I smile against the phone.

She speaks such wisdom.

Floating in this cosmic jacuzzi

For someone who’s gone through as much crap as I have, if not more so, she still manages to love.

we are like frogs oblivious to the water starting to boil.

We are not going to seek anyone’s forgiveness.

Because we’ve done nothing wrong.

No one flinches, we all float face down.

We will prosper through this difficult time.

And we’ll be stronger because of it.


[ edited 1 time(s), last at 14-Jun-2002 10:47:46 PM ]