Title: Destroy and Rebuild.
Author: Donnie
Disclaimer: Roswell and its characters are not mine. Nor the songs used
Rating: R
Category: A very pissed of Liz
Summary: Set after Grad. I know what u are thinking. Another grad fic? But this one is not like the others. What if the group left Liz? A very pissed off Liz with a child and a mind for revenge.
Feedback: I am really not sure about this fic so I need all the Fb you have to offer.

NOTE: This first part is the only part that is entirely her journal. Also it would be great if u read the lyrics it sets the mood. But don’t worry I think this is the only part that I am using lyrics.

Staind: Excess Baggage

Well I know the words
But I can't really speak them
To you

Dear Journal,

I thought that life was a Fairy Tale’s dream. I was wrong. At the end of the grief paved rainbow there had to be a pot of gold happiness. If that is true I have not seen it yet. I carry the burden alone on the hot tar and broken glass that fills the yellow brick road I walk. Deserted. That is how I feel, that is the reality of the situation. One by one they marched out of my life. One by one my heart was left crying with the knives imbedded deep. None of them ever knew how deep there scars touched my core. They never will.

And I hide all the pain
That I've gained with my wisdom
From you

They were the cause of all my heartache, and the balm that soothed. Just like all good things. My balm ran out. The first to leave was Kyle. He found a way to live safely and left with a simple goodbye, and a peck on the cheek. Then followed Isabel. Maria followed in Isabel’s footsteps a couple months later. But she came back. Just to snatch one more person form the only family I had left. Michael left with her. Then Max left me in the middle of the night while I was dreaming that things would one day be better. They all live safely. I live in fear of being killed. Always moving. I have no friends. I have no life, and I have no time.

And I'm eaten alive
By what I hold inside
All the things that I live with
I can't easily hide
And I'm left here with nothing
Nothing to live for
But you

I have gone from name to name. Hair color to hair color. Running when I am one of the innocents. A victim of Circumstance. That is my real name. Victim. I can’t help but hate them. I live only to see the day they all crumble. Or if they crumble at all. They must all know that I have no one. They run in the same circles now. All famous. All married. I wonder if they ever think of the small petite girl they left to be eaten by the wolves. I live only to see their downfall. To see there lives be taken from them as mine has.

It’’s not easy to hide
All this damage inside
I'll carry you with me
Until I'm not alive

I grow stronger each day. My innocence slipped away long ago. My heart is minding. Becoming stronger its marble and ,limestone with bullet proof glass wrapped around twice. No one will hurt me again. No one will see me again. No one will know me again. Because im not me. They each took away a part of me. Leaving a small piece of nothingness. I evolved into something else. Someone else. The vengeance that wants to break lose festers like a war wound left open. I will carry it with me always.

When you look at my face
Does it seem just as ugly?
To you?

They would not know me know if I was standing right in front of them. Not only has my physical makeup changed. My mentality is something of the abnormal. I love it. I see red in every corner. Maybe it is a way of expressing my anger. My rage.

I can't seem to erase
All the scars I have lived with
From you

Pain they all caused me. Hate they made me fill. Revenge they made me desire. I am 19 and alone. Deserted. Betrayed. Some would see this as not quite the ideal situation. Me? I don’t give a damn. They have caused me pain. They showed me the ugly said of life. The ugly side of people. They showed me to the ugly side of myself

I'm so sick of this place
This taste in my mouth
Cause of you I can't figure
What I'm all about
And I'm left here with nothing
Nothing to live for
But you

The day they are left with nothing. Is the day I will smile. Rejoice. But until then I don’t have time. I have to look over my shoulder so that I get to see there misery. It will be a sweet site. My baby kicks at the thought of her father. I think I have flittered her my hatred for him. Well at least she will know the truth. Not be left thinking that her father loves me or her. That he would give his life for us. If that was the case he would be here.

It’’s not easy to hide
All this damage inside
I'll carry you with me
‘‘Till I'm not alive

I can’t hide anymore. Its time. For me to make my comeback. For them to suffer as I have. Its time for the world to meet the new Liz Parker. All of my enemies are dead. Killed. By me. There is no one to hide from. No more running to be done. And soem people need to be surprised.