|posted on 20-Jun-2002 6:52:38 PM by Kitcat26|
Title: Troubles (1/1)
Author: Cath AKA Kitcat26
Summary: Takes place in Ireland, during a particularly bad about of the Troubles, an ongoing silent war between the Protestants and the Catholics. Needless to say, that a relationship intertwining the two faiths would be considered forbidden (Think Romeo and Juliet), but Max (Catholic) and Liz (Protestant) go against the world to try it out. However something happens to Liz that makes them reconsider their choices, and well, read on.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything pertaining to Roswell, never have, never will. The lyrics are from Coldplay’s song “Trouble.”
Ratings/Pairings: No more than R. AU with M/L
Authors Note: I am in NO way prejudice against any of the mentioned faiths. I am simply writing a story that may or may not be at all how things are in reality (some things I know, other things I don’t and will try my best). Please don’t take offense to my views on this type of situation. It is merely a work of fiction. I got this idea while flipping through old magazines and I found an article about love trying to prevail against religious prejudice and of course M/L came to mind (it was a Feb. issue of Seventeen, 2000).
Oh no, I see
A spider web is tangled up with me
And I lost my head
And thought of all the stupid things I'd said
Oh no, what's this?
A spider web and I'm caught in the middle
So I turned to run
And thought of all the stupid things I'd done
And I never meant to cause you trouble
And I never, never meant to do your wrong
Ah, well if I ever caused you trouble
Oh no I never meant to do you harm
Oh no, I see
A spider web and it's me in the middle
So I twist and turn
But here am I in my little bubble
Singing and I never meant to cause you trouble
And I never meant to do you wrong
Ah, well if I ever caused you trouble
Oh no I never meant to do you harm
They spun a web for me
They spun a web for me
They spun a web for me
Trouble - Coldplay
Max hesitated outside the left hospital wing.
He hated hospitals. The first, and last time he was in one was when he came to bid his sick grandfather goodbye. Needless to say that hospitals didn’t hold a fond place in his memory.
They smelled horrid. That metallic, disinfectant smell, it was awful. He supposed the stench was one to ward off sickness and such -
But to him …
It smelled like death.
Way to be morbid, Max chastised himself. And yet he couldn’t help it. He had last been inside one of these only to loose a loved one. And now he was scared that the same thing was going to happen all over again.
She’s not going to die, Max tried to convince himself.
Albeit that it was no thanks to him.
Hot, fresh guilt washed over Max like a tidal wave.
It was all entirely his fault. He had kept on pushing the matter, trying so hard to convince Liz to give their love a chance. She tried to tell him that something like this would happen. That the world wasn’t ready for their relationship. But he had refused to allow himself to believe that.
And now look where she was.
Sweet, kind, good, beautiful Liz, she was knocking at death’s black door.
And all because of him. All because he was selfish. He had wanted Liz all to himself, not willing to share her with her parents, or God, or the community, or anyone.
“Excuse me, sir, can I help you?”
Max started out of his reverie and looked up to see an irritated red-haired nurse glaring up at him. He shrank back from her penetrating stare. It was almost as if she could read his thoughts, as if she knew exactly why he was here, as if she knew that he was Catholic and didn’t belong.
Finally, Max shook his head. “No thanks…I’m just…gathering my thoughts.”
The nurse softened somewhat and nodded before sweeping off into the other direction, the click clack of her heels following her gait. A faint echo of a paging for Dr. O’Connell resonated throughout the empty hall.
Max shifted his gaze down the hall, towards Room 112. HER room. He averted his head upon seeing Jeffery and Nancy Parker, both white faced and stricken, shuffle out the door slowly, making their way around the corner, to where Max assumed there was a cafeteria of sorts.
He took in a large, wavering breath. It was now or never. For he knew with a concrete certainty that the Parkers would not let him anywhere near their daughter. They had thought that they had already taken measures to prevent this sort of thing from happening. They had thought that by banning Liz from seeing him, by forbidding their relationship, that she was safe. However, they had been unaware of the fact that by forbidding Liz from seeing him, it had in turn only further fueled Liz’s determination, and she and Max had taken to sneaking off to see each other in small towns - where they had hoped that no one would recognize them or the different religions that blatantly yet discreetly marked them wherever they went.
Too bad that someone HAD recognized Max and Liz’s relationship for what it was. Completely and unforgivably illicit. Any kind of relationship in Ireland between Catholic and a Protestant was silently, but strictly prohibited. And that unknown someone today had taken violent measures to prove his hatred for such a thing.
Burning fury swarmed like a wave in Max’s stomach. The bubbly acid rose up to his throat and his jaw worked furiously at the thought of that ignorant, BASTARD who had gotten away with what he had done to Liz. Precious, wonderful Liz…
Tears now formed in his amber eyes. Liz used to tell him that his eyes were amazing, SOULFUL.
But now, Max was sure that they were dead. For with the knowledge of what he was about to do, with what he knew he HAD to do -
He was lifeless inside. His soul was going to die. And it would remain that way until the day when his body would join it.
Liz’s dark eyes fluttered open slightly as she became once more aware of her surroundings.
It had been like this for hours, ever since the surgery. Dozing in and out of consciousness. But in all actuality, she preferred her dreamlike state.
Max was there. He was always there in her dreams. And up until today, he had always been there in the present as well.
In a way, she couldn’t blame him for his absence when she needed him the most. She cringed thinking of the bitter and irate diatribes that her parents threw out, lashing out at the one concrete thing that they could blame - Max. For it wasn’t as if they could blame the actual person responsible for this. The culprit truly responsible had bolted after taking careful aim and puncturing her abdomen with a bullet, leaving behind no trace or residue other than the blood slowing seeping out of her wound.
Liz didn’t understand how someone could hate with such a fiery passion. To hate so much like that must be draining, consuming, OBSESSIVE, burning. Eating at insides like acid. She also didn’t understand why it was so wrong for her and Max to be together. She wasn’t her past. And no matter how people tried to convince her otherwise, how could something so pure, so beautiful, be the cause of so much loathing and pain?
What was wrong with the world? There was only one God after all. What where people trying to accomplish by the bloodshed?
Liz’s head snapped to the door as it crept slowly open, and her breath was stolen from her chest.
“Max,” she breathed. He was here. He shouldn’t be, her father would skin him alive, chomp off his head, and eat it for breakfast, but he was here. Tears of love and gratitude welled up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. “Oh my God,” she whispered, struggling to rise from the blasted hospital bed.
Immediately, Max was at her side, drawing her up into a sweet embrace. “Don’t,” he said softly. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself. At least not anymore than you already are.”
Liz swallowed at his guilt-ridden statement. She had a feeling that Max would find someway to put himself at fault. Mr. Responsibility. It was one of the many things that she loved about him, but now, it was just frustrating her.
She threw her arms around him, pulling him close, needing him like the air she could not presently breath, needing him more than the fluids that were attached to her arm. “It hurts worse when I’m not with you,” she told him through tears.
She heard his shaky intake of breath and they reluctantly broke apart. She searched his face, wondering what he was thinking. Usually it was easy to tell, but now -
Now it was as if he was trying to block her out. Instantly, she was apprehensive.
“Max…” She started to say.
“I probably shouldn’t stay long. Your parents would have me beaten on the spot,” Max interrupted. “But I had to see you.” His face softened slightly, and he tenderly pushed an errant brown lock of hair behind Liz’s ear. She shivered at his touch, drinking in the feelings he never failed to stir beneath her breast.
“…and I have to tell you something.” Max forced out before swallowing hard. “To say goodbye.”
Liz’s eyes snapped open, and she jerked away from him. “What!?” She cried, shaking her head. “NO! Max…”
Max placed a gentle touch upon her lips, smiling sadly as he traced the outline of her features, his thumb brushing lightly over her lips, his caress like that of a feather. Without thinking, Liz laid a tender, protracted kiss upon his fingertips.
For a few blissful moments, they stayed as such. Two lovers attempting to prolong time, to stay, forever in this perfect, heartrending moment, shared between only by the both of them.
Unwillingly, Max slowly drew back his hand, reaching out to capture her own small one with his shaking, larger one. Liz glanced down at their entwined hands, gripping Max’s tighter, as if to show him that it would take a lot to make her let go.
“Liz,” Max tried to start, discovering that in all his fretful worrying, he had no idea what to say. Or how to say it. “Liz, I…”
“Don’t Max. Please don’t. We’ll find a way to make this work. Please, don’t throw all of this away.” Her wide eyes bore into his, pleading, begging him to reconsider what she knew was coming.
For a moment Max faltered, her lovely face getting to him, not for the first, nor last time, her pain filled eyes calling him home. However, the awful memory of watching in horror as Liz had slumped to the ground, auburn blood seeping out of her wound, and the faint whisper of her love…
He shook his head vehemently. “NO. We tried that Liz. We did. We went against the world, hiding when we knew it wasn’t safe, but in the end, that wasn’t enough. Look at you! In the hospital, almost DEAD because I couldn’t leave you alone!”
Liz’s heart skipped a beat in pain at his words, and in pleasure at his obvious helplessness when it came to resisting her. She opened her mouth to protest anxiously, but he plunged ahead.
“But I’m not going to make the same mistake this time. Not when your life is on the line. Not when your entire FUTURE is at stake because of me. I refuse to put you in danger like that. It’s time for me to accept the fact that its not safe, its not right…and its not meant to be.” Max’s usually strong voice broke at the last sentence, and he bowed his head as his demeanor threatened to succumb to the blinding tears and agony that was ripping out his soul.
Liz’s nose had been burning in her effort to withhold the tears that were building, but at the realization of his last statement, the dam broke and wetness streaked her face. She shook her head, unable to speak, silently objecting to his words.
Max looked at her sadly and brushed away some of the tears. Not that it helped, as his gestured just caused more to cascade down, like that of a waterfall, crushing down on her heart and refusing to halt.
There was a heavy silence, broken only by the sound of Liz’s occasional sniffling. Max swallowed hard against the lump of pain in his throat, the lump that held all of his pain, anger, and frustration. If he could just get the lump to recede, then he could go on.
Choking slightly, Max lifted the hand that wasn’t entwined with Liz’s and traced her features once more. Starting at her lips, over and around the fullness of them, reveling in their soft texture, remembering how they felt against his own. Then moving down to her chin, gracing it with the flat of his fingertips, running up to the side of her face to meet her eyebrows. From there his touch moved slowly, tracing the arch of her brow, swooping down her nose and coming back to her lips.
And his eyes, his eyes followed every move, every direction, scrutinizing every aspect of her face, almost memorizing it.
It was then that Liz realized that he was memorizing her face for the last time, saying goodbye, from his body to hers.
It was all too much. From his words, to his agonizingly tender touch. It was all too much…
And she couldn’t stop the wail that rose within her to abscond out of her throat. And she also couldn’t prevent herself from grabbing the back of his neck fiercely, pulling him towards her into a blazing fervent kiss.
This kiss was different than any of the others that they had shared. This one was urgent, as if they knew they couldn’t wait another second, desperate for more, but poignantly knowing that they couldn’t have anything further.
Max broke off the kiss first, breathing heavily. He closed his eyes and scrunched up his face, resting his forehead upon hers. “Liz,” he uttered in a tortured voice. “Liz…”
He opened his eyes and stared guiltily at the pained and horrified expression he found etched on her features. He was causing her MORE pain.
He should have never persuaded her in the first place. Ever since that day when he first saw her working in her father’s restaurant, he had been relentless. Going there everyday for a soda, bombarding her with questions and invitations for dates…
He should have let it go when she had first warned him that it would never work. When she had told them that their two religions had been at a silent war for centuries and that the fighting was not going to stop just because two of children had crossed the line and fallen in love…
And yet, he couldn’t regret it. No matter the guilt, no matter the sadness, the pain.
He was still extremely grateful and glad that he had known and loved Liz.
But now, because of that love, he had to let her go, for her sake.
Liz took his face into her hands and forced him to look at her. She shook her head more violently now, desperately trying to get through to him. “No. Max…? Don’t.” Her voice ached with a supplication.
He grasped her two hands that held his head, and slowly, slid them off. “Liz…I have to.” He stood up gradually, not wanting to go. He brought one of her hands up to his lips and kissed it compassionately, replying all his love, all his adoration, all his compunction into one simple gesture.
“But you mean everything to me! I don’t care about anything else but you!”
Max sucked in his breath, his heart leaping at the sound of those passionate words. He rejoiced, for it was exactly how he felt. He gazed into her defiant eyes, radiating all the adoration he felt for her into that stare.
“Good bye Liz.” He said, not bothering to hide his tears anyone. “I love you. Always remember that, for it will never change.”
Liz gasped. He was actually going to go through with it. He was leaving her. Feeling redundant, she shook her head hard. “NO! Max!” She struggled to free herself from the cords, and tubes that had saved her life, feeling resentment about how they were now serving as restraints.
“I love you.” Max found that he could not take it anymore. If she touched him now, it was all over. He would cave and melt into her arms. And he could not let that happen. Not when her life was at stake. With his last declaration, he reached for the door -
Only to come face to face with Nancy and Jeff. He gulped, but met their gaze steadily, not bothering to wipe his tear-streaked face. “Sorry,” He said, meaning so much more than apologizing for running into them. “Sorry,” he choked out again.
With that he pushed past them, not looking where he was going, his tears blinding his view, and his ears straining at the sound of Liz crying out his name.
“MAX!” Liz shouted, fighting her mother, who at the sight of Liz rising from the hospital bed, went to restrain her and hook her back up to the machines and tubes. “NO!” She protested loudly. “Get out of the way! Let me go after him!”
Nancy smoothed back Liz’s sweaty hair, knowing instantly what the boy had done, and her heart swelling in gratitude and relief, but also with sadness for her daughter’s distress. “Liz,” she whispered lovingly into her ear. “Sweetie, you have to let him go.”
At that, Liz sunk back into the pillow, sobbing uncontrollably. “No…” She gave one last whispered protest.
“What happened!?” Jeff yelled, completely irate. “What was he doing here!? I KNEW I should have gotten a restraining order! Nancy! I’ll make a call right now -”
Nancy gave him a sharp look. “No Jeff. Its all right now.” She kept smoothing back her daughters hair and face, though both had no further need of it.
“Why? What happened? Lizzie? Did he hurt you again?”
Liz shook her head despondently. “No. He’s gone. He’s gone.” More tears slid silently down her face.
Sensing that she wanted to be alone, Nancy laid a kiss on her daughter’s hairline, and motioned Jeff out of the room (“What happened? What is she talking about?”) to explain it to him.
Liz grabbed her pillow and curled around it in a fetal position. So that was it. It was over.
Or was it?
Liz couldn’t help the determination that rose within her, raging to battle against the numbing despair. She could wait. Somehow, someway, she and Max find a way. And they WOULD end up together.
For if love wasn’t enough, what was?
Kind of sad, huh. It leaves room for speculation, and that’s where my challenge comes into play. I can’t wait for it to be written! Ill post a link over here to advertise it when it is. Hope you liked this though. Ive been dying to write a one part story, since forever.
[ edited 8 time(s), last at 23-Jan-2003 7:01:49 PM ]
|posted on 21-Jun-2002 10:43:05 PM by Kitcat26|
|Pixie~ Hehe, spatula. That’s funny…but I say go after the guy who had the gun…grrr…Thanks for the FB!|
tabasco sauce~ Hey Andy! Hehe, happy dance. I’m so glad you liked this, and that it gave you the proper inspiration… And yea, thats what I was going for with this, to parallel that fact of their differences on the show to in this particular AU. And yes, Jeff is more scared because he KNOWS what his people would do to Liz and Maxs relationship, because he lived there growing up til he moved to America. So he personally doesnt hold grudge against Max for his religion but hes just scared for his daughterhe KNEW something like this would happenand he had to lash out at someone. And write away Andy, write away!! Teehee
Rapunzel Aww, thankie Kari! I’m glad I made you think. That was part of the part of writing this…
Lille~ Aww, I didn’t mean to make you cry! But its nice to know that this stirred some sentimentality within you. And I always thought this would be a perfect plot for ML. And interesting thought about the IRA…I had thought about putting something like that in here, but no idea what to do with it. And heh, yes, this is a one parter. **throws up arms to shield herself** but wait!! Theres a reason. See, I have had this idea forever, but I have no time to write it, so I posted the idea as a challenge. But I had the ending of the fic all planned out so I finished typing it up, added a bit, and turned it into a one parter fic, which I have wanted to do for a while now. But Tabasco sauce (andy) is taking up the challenge, and it will be a FULL fic, more than one part, based on my challenge, and this fic. So rest easy Amber!! And thank you for the bumps. They were very much appreciated, thank you.
NATEEVANS~ Thanks! But sorry to disappoint, it was just a one parter fic.
Wench On A Leash~ Aww, thanks Christina! I love to receive fb from you…And hush up you about the not worthy stuff… Your comments always make me smile. And blush And I know!! Wouldnt that be a perfect ML song?? I listen to the album nonstop. esp. Troubles. It makes me want to take up piano again….
RealSpaceCadet~ Aww, I didn’t mean to make you cry!! **hands over a tissue** but thanks for giving it a try anyway!!
TeddyBehrJKT~ Aww, thanks niki! **blushes** You’re terrific with my ego, that’s for sure! Thanks for the comments and compliments niki! **muah** And yes, yaya, someone recognized the Destiny reference…that’s were I got inspiration for this…Aww, don’t cry!! Hugs and more…
Special thanks to Lillie for all the bumps…hmm, I must say, you sure know how to hit a girls guilt complex! I shall consider adding a tag part…perhaps a happy ending…perhaps not…I shall see…Thank you all for giving this go! I’m so proud, I finally did a one part fic. Go me! Now
all that’s left on my goal list is to FINISH a fic…yes, off to work on that now…
Oh, and heh, shameless, shameless…perhaps any of you would like to check out my other fics???
“Sometimes Ignorance Rings True” or “Steps Of Faith”
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 21-Jun-2002 10:55:38 PM ]