posted on 25-Jun-2002 5:30:23 AM by Meagzie
Title: I Understand
Author: Well, duh, me! Meagzie!
E-mail: meagzie⊕hotmail.com
Rating: Hmmm... PG-13? PG? Something around there.
Disclaimer: You know the drill. I own nothing except for a few pennies that are going towards the "Help Meagzie Buy a Krispy Kreme" fund. *big*
Author's Notes: Well, this is just a one-parter. Can't tell you the coupling though, that'd ruin the fun. *happy* Didn't plan on writing this, but I was struck with the idea about an hour and a half ago so I wrote it down, even though I've got a final in about 5 hours. Yay for my stupidity. But, uh, just enjoy and let me know what you think. *happy* Grr! (I'm sorry to all who read this earlier, but I forgot to add...) This fic is based on the song I Understand by McMaster and James (a Canadian group, of course! *big*). All credit for the song goes to them.

******

He shut the back door, watching her through the small window as she clung to her cell phone.

Here I am alone again tonight
talking to myself... again
Lately I've been seeing less of you
What's a man to do


He sighed heavily and turned to lean against the door. It was like this whenever she found time to come home to him. She would kiss his lightly on his cheek and go off to check her e-mail or her cell phone messages or return a call from someone who had paged her. He would have cooked her a warm, delicious dinner that had taken all day to prepare and he knew she would love. It usually still sat by the end of the night, cold now, on the kitchen table, yearning for the attention of its consumers.

I understand that you've been busy
I understand there's not much time
You've always got the best intentions
every single time, oh yeah


It hadn’t always been like this. Before she had left him time after time for her faraway job, they had been happy. They would work their bones dead to be able to afford
what little they had, but still felt the overwhelming bliss of just being together. Just loving each other. Just wanting to be near each other and touch each other. Hell, there were some nights where he was sure they never slept a wink, too involved with each other, too involved with experiencing the ecstasy of their love making over and over again. Now it was rare if they even kissed each other once a week, never mind making love to each other.

As the hours of the night roll by
just like your alibis, I stop and think
It's not like I don't really know you well
Sometimes I think I know you better
than you know yourself


It had started out as just small gigs for her. She would sing at the club with Alex here, or join in at karaoke there. Soon it began to become more and more often, taking a part time job at a local coffee shop, performing every second night. He loved it. He would watch her every time she sang, letting her melodic voice overpower his senses and drive him to agonizing delight. Her full lips would form words and they would enter his ears like a treasure not experienced.

I understand that it's been crazy
and you can't be by my side
You've got the perfect explanation
every single time, baby, every single time
I understand... I understand, oh baby
You know I understand... I understand


Soon enough it got worse, her presence being needed every night at one club or another. His own schedule began to fill up with college classes and extra hours at the café to help pay for his schooling, but nevertheless, he waited for her presence in their bed every night. No matter what time he had slipped into bed or what time he had to awake in the morning, he wouldn’t rest until she was lying beside him. He needed her warmth. It kept him breathing, her luxurious scent already his required oxygen.

It was around then that she started to just not come home. He would wait late into the hours of the night, tossing and turning, frantically calling her on her cell phone every ten minutes, just waiting for one sign of her and her safety. It was the first night that was the worst, and he would never forget it. He had stayed at home long after his first class had started, pacing anxiously back and forth in the front room. Where was she? Why hadn’t she called? Was she safe? Yet it was just when he was about to pick up the phone and call the police that she decided to come strolling into their home. He stared at her in horror, whether at her carefree expression or his shock at finally seeing her after hours of restlessness spent worrying about her. Her breath smelled of alcohol, and her clothes stank of cigarettes, but she still ran to him and clung to him in a content embrace. Someone had spotted her, she had said. She was offered a recording contract. Her life was going to change finally.

And change it did, as well as his had. Her absence grew more and more often, leaving him with more bouts of insomnia. What was he to do? He had become accustomed to touching her at least once every night, but now she was going on numerous business trips. A recording session in New York, an autograph session in Chicago, a concert in Los Angeles. Soon her home became the bus that she traveled on, or the airplane she frequented, taking her to wherever he wasn’t.

If absence makes the heart grow
fonder, why do I grow
stronger in my resolve
Every day I notice I'm becoming someone
someone who understands
Oh baby, I understand


He turned away from the door, his mind muddled in his thoughts. This was her first trip home for eight months. He hadn’t seen her or touched her for eight, long, torturous months, only for her to give him a quick peck on the cheek and step outside to make a phone call to her manager. She had changed too. Her waist was much smaller than he remembered, and her cheeks were hollow like, casting an eerie glare, but when he looked into her eyes that’s when he saw it. The love and passion she exuded for her career, the pleasure that traveling on the road, singing every night gave her. It was the same love and passion she had once had for him, now obviously replaced.

I understand you really miss me
but you can't be by my side
You always got the best excuses
You're such a creative girl
You always seemed to keep me waiting, oh baby
and now I really understand
that I'm the one who should be changing
I will never ever wait again, wait again, wait again


He quickly made his way to the staircase, his mind made up. He took the steps two at time, bounding with a spontaneous energy. He had come to end of the rope, no longer settling for second or third place. He slammed the bedroom door open, ignoring the distant sound of her yelling at him to keep it down. Grabbing a tattered suitcase, he flung it open. He yanked open their dresser, only filled with his clothes and a few selected garments that she rarely wore. He began to pile his wardrobe hastily into the suitcase, quickening his pace at the thought of her trying to convince him otherwise. Too long had he waited for her and she had never shown. His blood may not prove it, but his heart was human, and it could not take one more crushing blow.

I understand... I understand... I understand
I used to think you really loved me
but now I know that you just don't care
You just don't care about me, baby


He paused a moment as his eyes swept over the picture that he kept on his bedside table. The picture stood there proudly, and caused a flutter in his heart. She was so beautiful, and even more dazzling in the embrace of his arms. A warmhearted smile graced her luscious lips, and her eyes were gazing upwards towards his. He had his head bent over and angled, staring back into her captivating eyes while his arms drew her close around her waist. A desire for her plagued him suddenly at the glance of the picture, his mind already reminiscing over their once perfect lifestyle. But his heart continued to win out, reminding him of the hurt and destruction her simple disregard had caused. He grabbed the photo anyways, throwing it into his suitcase.

He closed the suitcase, more slowly and cautiously this time. This was it. His heart was broken into pieces so minute that not even her silky skin could repair. He picked up the suitcase, and took one last fleeting look at the bedroom that had become such solitude for him. It was time to move on, and move out.

He sighed heavily and dragged the suitcase down the staircase with him. He paused again, letting the suitcase sit at the end of the stairs. He couldn’t just leave her without saying goodbye. He couldn’t let go of her heart without a warning. He couldn’t start feeling until he felt the loss of her.

He couldn’t treat her the same way she had treated him.

He took a deep breath and made his way to the back door, silently flinging it open. She noticed his action and gave him a puzzled look, still chatting endlessly on her phone. She told her caller to wait, and looked at him expectantly. He just stared at her for a moment.

This was it. He took his last few seconds memorizing her face, memorizing the crinkle her eyebrows made when she was annoyed. He imprinted the image of her full lips in his mind and the velvety strands of her hair that fell helplessly on her shoulders. He took the few steps to her, and grabbed her with a lover’s roughness. Pulling her head unexpectedly to his, he gave her a long, sizzling kiss.

Tugging away slightly, though keeping a close distance between her lips and his, he took one last gaze into her surprised eyes. Finally taking the long awaited step back, he took her hand into his and gave it one last kiss.

“Goodbye Maria.”

He turned from her then, quickly making his way through the house and grabbing his suitcase. Before she could reply, Michael had already walked out the front door and closed it forever.

So that when I leave you
I hope you understand



[ edited 1 time(s), last at 25-Jun-2002 9:54:25 AM ]
posted on 25-Jun-2002 10:09:03 AM by Meagzie
Just a small note before I'm off to my LAST final and summer vacation... *sigh* *big*

Okie dokie, Christian, I've got the link to RWMH. It's viewthread?forum=dreamer-fanfiction&id=125189 I had to start bookmarking my stories, they were getting too hard to find and the search hates me. *happy* Hehe, and I made you cry? Whoopsie... glad I got you anyways. *big* And who said I wasn't evil?

limegreenli, uh oh. Are you challenging me? Agh. I've got two fics on the way within the next week or so. I really shouldn't have even written this one, but alas, I did. Well, check out my fics "Runaway with My Heart", "Long Day", and "Loves You for You". If that doesn't fill you, you can come back and challenge me and I'll take you up on it. *big*

WISH ME LUCK ON MY EXAM!

posted on 26-Jun-2002 2:38:24 AM by Meagzie
I didn't even plan on writing this, Cath! "I Undertand" was on my mp3 playlist last night at like, 1:30am and I just started typing it out. LOL, I wouldn't stop until I was done though, and voila! Then again, I've been on about 4 hours of sleep all day, oh well. Nothing like sleeping in really late. *big* As for DOY and WIA... well... hehe, those are going to be posted until RWMH is finished, which I am currently working on. Got your e-mail. I'll write you back asap.

Thanks to EVERYONE who left me feedback. I love it. Teehee. I can't even believe I wrote. I had no intentions of writing it until last night. *shrug* Oh well. I aim to please. For any RWMH fans, I'll prolly update within the next two or three days. *big* Happy reading, everyone!