posted on 27-Jun-2002 12:19:47 AM by Apathygirl666
Title: Time of Your Life

Author: Apathygirl666

Rating: pg13-r

Category: M/L, maybe a little A/I, M/M but probably not,

Summary: au, max takes the bullet shot for Liz in the crashdown but will he survive?

Disclaimer: I own nothing, if I did I would be cuddling with Max at this very second. Roswell belongs to Melinda Metz, Jason Katims, and Upn. Don’t sue I am in high school and have about $5 right now. Lol! Lyrics from Time of Your Life by Green Day

(lil note: some of my parts will have titles some won’t this one does)

Time of Your Life
Part 1- So I’ll Wait
(Journal entries in asterisks ***)

Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life


***September 16, 1999

Dear Journal,

You won’t believe where I am and what happened today, writing it out I can’t believe it! I, Liz Parker almost died, but then a hero rescued me. Max Evans saved my life, and it might just cost him his own. ***

Liz Parker walked around the crashdown, taking and filling out the orders and chatting with Maria as she did. Maria and Liz were best buds, they hung out all the times and Liz was feeling good. She had no worries, except school which was going pretty good.

Liz watched as two of the hottest guys in school walked over to her section, Max Evans, he was shy, yet he was always so sweet, and he was gorgeous, with his soulful brown eyes and matching hair he was male model material to Liz, Grade-A stud! Liz almost giggled out loud at the thought.

Then there was Michael Guerin, he was too something for Liz’s taste, he was cute but he was so closed off, and he actually intimidated her.

She was shaken out of her thoughts by a loud man’s voice and then her eyes were ripped away from the image of the man to the image of the bullet tracing its way out of the gun and towards her and just before it was going to hit her, she was shielded by a large powerful body.

She saw the body drop to the floor, and she was frozen in place for a split second before she realized it was Max and there was a bullet wound in his stomach and he was bleeding. Liz ran on autopilot, grabbing a dishtowel, placing it over the wound as Maria dialed 911, and then she processed what had happened, Max had saved her. And she cradled his semi conscious head in her lap and held the dishtowel over his wound and cried until the ambulance picked them both up and drove them to the hospital.

***When I was crying, Journal, I realized that without Max I wouldn’t have been there to even be crying. Max was the one dying, cradled in my arms, I could see the life draining out of him and I wished so hard at that moment for powers, like that Wicca girl on Buffy.

Until today Max was just a hot guy, but now he’s more than that, he’s a hero, my hero, and in the crashdown watching him die, I almost felt a part of my self die, too, the part that told me Max Evans was just some guy, because I realized he was so much more than that.***

Liz sat in the emergency room as Max’s family and his best friend rushed down the hall, she had called them when she got to the hospital. And now that they were here, Liz felt out of place, she had been the one Max had tried to protect, it was her fault she didn’t move, at least she thought that.

But then, Isabel Evans walked up to her and hugged her, she had tears in her eyes and Liz knew that this was no longer the Ice Queen she had seen at school the day before but the real girl.

*** I was touched when Isabel hugged me, journal, I had never seen her cry and it felt good to know under the Ice Queen act that she was a regular girl.

The rest of the day was a daze, people running in and out of his room, I managed to find out that the bullet was removed but that Max had fallen into a coma. And it’s midnight now, all of Max’s family and his friend Michael had left, not because they wanted to, no they had wanted to stay with him, but the doctors had said it was better if he had peace.

I didn’t get to see Max, today with everything that was going on from family to doctors, rushing in and out, I just sat in the waiting room with Maria. But the nurse went to help another patient so now I’m sitting, huddled in a chair in Max’s hospital room. I want so much to hug him, to touch him, to let him know physically that I appreciate what he did, and love him for it, but I can’t, I might hurt him more than I have today. I want so much to hear his voice, see his rare half smile, his bright eyes, I want so much to sit next to him in Biology, and pretend nothing happened. I want so much to turn back time.

So, Journal, because of me, Max Evans is on the line between life and death, because of me, this beautiful person could die and there’s nothing I can do about it, except wait. So that’s what I’ll do, I’m going to sit here all night and wait until the moment I can see his bright eyes and rare half smile and hear his voice. I’m going to sit here and wait, until I can tell him I’ve figured out that I love him. ***

Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life

send mefb good, bad whatever

[ edited 14time(s), last at 11-Sep-2002 7:21:46 PM ]
posted on 27-Jun-2002 5:17:55 PM by Apathygirl666
wow! you like me, you really like me!!

lolz umm I promised my other fics an update soon so its kinda over due I just woke up so I wont get to sleep till really late so im gonna write new parts for my other fics and then this one -in the mean time u can pass the time by checkin out my other fic if you haven't already and leave me fb!!!

1.Let Me Know That You Need Me -AU,M/L
viewthread?page=1&forum=dreamer-fanfiction&id=105493

2.Amy's Song - FF, M/L
viewthread?forum=dreamer-fanfiction&id=116292&sr1=amy%60s+song#post116292

3.American Beauty -Roswell Style - AU, M/L
viewthread?forum=dreamer-fanfiction&id=72550

and im gonna have more new fics up within the next two weeks-ill be replyin to fb and possibly postin a new part early tommorrow -most likely between 12 am and 5 am

p.s. also if u wanna read my fic that im emailin to users by email then bmail me w/ the title line I'm With You- post grad fic

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 27-Jun-2002 5:23:33 PM ]
posted on 28-Jun-2002 5:42:37 PM by Apathygirl666
Im writin a new part of Amy's Song and when im done im gonna start a new part of this kk thanks for all the fb
posted on 30-Jun-2002 11:45:55 PM by Apathygirl666
im in the process of writin the next part sorry for the delay but I've been really busy and my dad and brother are dragging me to a baseball game on coney island so ill be gone most of tommorrow and tommorrow tonight ugh! for a stupid baseball game! I hate sports! the part will be out within the next 3 hours if I get some peace and my friends dont call up for me to meet them for another late night movie :D bye for now

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 30-Jun-2002 11:46:28 PM ]
posted on 2-Jul-2002 4:55:05 AM by Apathygirl666
thanks to:
not_of_this_earth (3 times)
JaneLane
QueenBee05
marteloise
clueless(3 times)
SweetLilDreamer
Shama
ItsLikeChemical
roswellluver

Lana Lane-I'm so happy that I was able to touch you with that part-I wasn't even tryin to make it touching it just came out that way and yes there are no aliens

Dream Lover MerJ - I'm glad you like that she found out she loved him quick cuz I was worried about you guys thinkin it was too rushed

SarahWhitman - hey girl! hmm, what will everyone think...you'll have to wait and find out!!

and a big big big big big big thank you to
Morning Dreamgirl - OMG!! that was the most ego boostin fb ive ever gotten and yeah it helped me get the part out, you should bmail me I'm lazy I need the encouragement cuz im not gettin any on my other threads-thanks so much and ill try to get pt 3 out soon too

ok ill be back soon wit part 2 and my slightly rant like an

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 2-Jul-2002 5:00:12 AM ]
posted on 2-Jul-2002 4:58:21 AM by Apathygirl666
here ya go - send me fb!!!!

a/n-Ok, I know what your thinking, why didn’t I write/post the part earlier? What was I doing? Was I at a late night movie with my friends like I said I’d be last night? Was I getting pissed off at my older brother, impaling him on a large stick to see if he’d turn to dust and then getting banned from watchin buffy? Sadly I did neither, ok not so sadly for the banning buffy part, but whatever, I just couldn’t get motivated to write a part, I wrote one sentence and then stopped because this wasn’t how I wanted to follow up on my first part because I hate non romantic, non sweet parts, I hate borin parts and that’s what it would be, but I am gonna give you a part that does tell the reactions of whoever (not telling yet) saw Liz in Max’s hospital room. Then I had to get inspired to write this sweet part and trust me it’s hard to inspire me-see I actually wanna be a writer so I’m constantly taking in my head coming up with ideas and storylines and shit. Well I am in the mid of having a killer case of Insomnia, and this just popped, so I moved away from staring at the ceiling, which despite what others say is quite interesting if you stare long enough, I’m pretty sure I saw Max in there. And now that you all know I’m crazy and only sleep during the day, on with this part.

Time Of Your Life
Part 2- I’ll Believe
(Song is Time of Your Life by Green Day)
(Journal entries in asterisks ***)

Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life

***September 22, 1999

Dear Journal,

If someone had told me a week ago that right now the center of my world would be Max Evans, that I would sleep, eat, walk, talk and breathe him, I would have told them they were crazy. But now it’s the truth, I live for him, because of him. When I’m in the hospital, I feel like he’s alive, truly alive, not unconscious and standing there next to me. I feel like his warm, amber eyes are wandering over me, his cute nose taking in my scent, just as I take in his.

But sadly, it’s not real, because when I’m not at the hospital, in my fantasy land I’m at home, or working or at school and all I can think about is how he really looks. Weak, so weak, his skin a pale almost ghostly shade of pasty white, instead of the vibrant tanned bronze he usually is. Weak, so weak, with the tubes sticking out of every available space in his pale almost ghostly pasty white skin. Weak, so weak, under the bright fluorescent lights of the hospital room, and his musky, male, aftershave type-scent blocked by the smell of cleaning fluid permanently hanging in the air.

Looking at him hurts me, it’s like a sharp shooting pain in my soul, deep down inside, it moves through my whole body, because it’s my fault. The first night I visited Max here, was the day he got brought here, he looked better than he does now back then. That night I fell asleep writing by his bedside. The next morning I was shook awake at 6 am by Isabel Evans. She didn’t ask me any questions, just nodded and said ‘I know’. Then as I watched on, she took a thick book out of the black mini backpack she was carrying, then as if she wasn’t aware of anyone but her and Max, she sat in the chair right next to his bed, took his hand and started to read, I recognized the book, it was Of Mice and Men, I remember once in Biology he told me it was his favorite.

She sat there reading for at least a half hour with me standing near against the way, tears silently streaming down my face. Then at 7 she moved from the chair, folded down the page in the book and asked me if I wanted a ride home before school, I smiled at her, a small sad smile, nodded almost solemnly and I walked out with her to her jeep. And in the jeep, tears streamed down her face. I asked her what made her cry in the jeep and not in the hospital room and she said ‘Max would be watching, he would feel responsible’.
I think in that moment I saw the real Isabel Evans, not the Ice Queen, but the girl who was more like her brother than she would ever know.

Then I burst out crying myself, and she only looked me in the eyes and said ‘It’s not your fault’ and as if I had no control of my lips and found myself saying ‘But it is, if only Max hadn’t have jumped in front of me, if only I had moved…’ and she only asked ‘Did you shoot the gun?’ and when I shook my head no she said ‘Then it’s not your fault’.

Isabel wasn’t in school that day, and I could imagine her sitting by Max’s bed or waiting in the hall, or something. All I knew was she was close to him. So, everyday since Max has been shot I’ve fallen asleep in that same chair and been woken up by Isabel Evans, it’s like an unspoken agreement. Somehow the nurses don’t care, I chalk it up to tiredness because it is 6 in the morning. Isabel never breaks down unless we’re in the jeep.

During the day when I can’t be near him I think about him, the real him. The Max Evans I never truly knew but love so much. The next day after the first time Isabel drove me home she came to school, actually she picked me up and drove me.

There was an assembly, about how everyone was praying for Max. Isabel give a speech on behalf of their family and the principal spoke and there was some sort of grief councilor. I passed by Max’s locker, that day. It was filled with flowers and balloons and cards from people hoping he would come back.

This whole week has been hard for me, because I, like all good scientists know that the longer a person stays in a coma the harder it is to get out of it. But still everyday I sit in that chair and now, like Isabel I read and talk to Max, sometimes I write, like I’m doing now. Once in a while I lift his hand to my cheek, retreating into my Max fantasy land and I pretend he’s okay. I need the reassurance that one day he will wake up and when he does I’ll tell him how I feel, and he’ll feel the same way back. And when he wakes up, he’ll lay his hand on my cheek, only it won’t be limp and pale, no it’ll be bursting with vibrancy and radiance in its tanned bronze color and it’ll run over my face memorizing it, and then we’ll kiss, one of those movie kisses where everything is perfect. And even though right now that dream looks bleak I have to believe it’s possible. And once again I have to sit and wait, but while I wait I’ll believe, I’ll believe in me, I’ll believe in the doctors, I’ll believe in Isabel and Michael, but most of all I’ll believe in Max, who at the moment is the only person I truly believe in.***

Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life

You guys, I probably should have put the whole Liz/ Isabel conversation in real life type writing instead of journal but my train of thought was just rolling….so I let it go instead of stopping.

edited because I am a slightly crazed perfectionist

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 2-Jul-2002 5:01:58 AM ]
posted on 2-Jul-2002 4:03:45 PM by Apathygirl666
ok, I am gonna say it for this fic too, no fb, no fic, no me on this board!!!! ill vanish from here!! you'll never get to read my stories!!so send me fb!!!!
posted on 3-Jul-2002 7:44:35 AM by Apathygirl666
omg I just had this weird sign-like moment ok so im here sittin at my comp which is right next ot my tv and im watchin musac vids on mtv2 and iris just came on and thay hardly ever play dat song and then like a split second later the lil cd label/sticker thing I have for goo goo dolls on the top of my comp just fell off like right into my hands!! I think its the TPTBs way of showin me think I belong with Jon Reznick hehe!!*big*
posted on 4-Jul-2002 11:05:05 PM by Apathygirl666
you guys a lil question - im sittin down to write the next part but I cant decide what do do till you answer this: do you guys want a long story, with more parts, more romance and longing that won't be finished while im at camp but when I come back ill be refreshed and motivated to write(one of my courses is creative writing) or a shorter with less parts yet quicker in romance and wrapups to be finished before I go to camp on july 20th it matters to what happens in the next part answer soon so I can get the part out tonight
posted on 5-Jul-2002 12:43:00 AM by Apathygirl666
hmm..no responses oh well, I probably won't be postin tommorrow, so dont expect an update till sat and then after that its gonna be harder for me to post cuz I gotts pack and get ready.....
posted on 5-Jul-2002 4:36:04 PM by Apathygirl666
hmm interesting..well I wrote the next part last night but I wanna wait to see other ppls reactions kk ill post lata
posted on 5-Jul-2002 7:25:12 PM by Apathygirl666
guys I was gonna post lata but ive had trouble with my comp since my friend tried to put in a burner two days ago and I wanna post now so that I don't lose this part so ill be back in like two mins kk

thanks to

Shama

woodwinds - trust me theres more tear jerkin iz/liz friendship parts comin up

clueless- 4 times! - thanks so much, im glad you like this esp coz it was your challenge

JDreamer

roswellluver

Adrianna-thanks and yeah b/c of everyone's agreement im gonna make it long

Starlight - thanks

Morning Dreamgirl - thanks soo much yeah I got your bmail-check yours cuz I sent a reply and also I should tell you I like the attention- make sure you send lots of bumps while im at camp!!

Pixie agree with you completely

DreamingAngel thanks

edited cuz I stupidly sent it while not lookin lol and only wrote half at first ::hits head::



[ edited 3 time(s), last at 5-Jul-2002 7:32:04 PM ]
posted on 5-Jul-2002 7:30:46 PM by Apathygirl666
Part 3 – Never Truly Felt Before (Songs are Time of Your Life by Green Day and Closer by Better Than Erza)
(Journal entries in asterisks ***)

Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life

***September 29, 1999

Dear Journal,

I’m growing up, I’m changing and something inside me doesn’t want to change, that something is telling me to hold on to little Lizzie Parker, daughter of Jeff and Nancy, Best Friend of Maria and Alex. But the other part, the part that I feel most of all is telling me to grow, to let go of everything that’s holding me down.

I don’t want to pull away from Maria and Alex but they don’t understand anymore, they think Max is just some guy, some guy who’s sweet and nice and took a bullet for me, but it’s no big deal right? Wrong. Max is more, he’s a part of me now, I know that there’s so much I don’t know still and yeah I realize that but that just makes him more interesting.

Isabel understands, these past two weeks she’s been a really great friend, she gets it, yesterday we sat in her room for a sleepover and she told me goofy stories about Max. She told me about how he loved astronomy and how he dressed up like an alien just to cheer her up once. But there’s something about the way she spoke of him, I knew before all this that they were close but hearing Isabel talk about him, it made me realize just how protective he was off her. How much she loved having that protection and how much he cared about everyone around him.

There are two stories that stick out the most. I found out today that Isabel and Max were adopted, and that their real parents died in plane crash and there was no identification, so they got adopted. I never knew that, Isabel told me about how when they first found out they were adopted, that they both felt like they had no place. She recalled countless times when the two of them would sit in his bed or hers and cry, and how he always knew when she was feeling lonely.

I felt so sad for Isabel then, she looked so much like she had lost her best friend in the world, and she looked so lost and little. She shrugged it off, but I know she feel asleep crying, because she thought I was sleeping as she sobbed. The other story was from when they were 15, Isabel had been dumped by some guy, and Max sat outside her door as she cried, talking, letting his voice calm her.

When Isabel was sleeping I went into Max’s room, it was so…so…Max. It smelled like him, all musky and male. He had posters of astronomy and some bands. I felt like I was intruding on something uniquely Max, I could tell nothing had been touched while he was in the hospital because there was a t-shirt flung across his bed.

Yeah, Isabel understands but Maria and Alex don’t, they’re mad at me for blowing them off to hang with Isabel or sit with Max and write in my journal or read to him or even talk to him. I wonder if he can hear me, if he knows I’m there, I wonder if he feels me with him, like I feel him with me. I wonder if he’s dreaming, I mean, what do people in comas see? I wonder if his fantasy world includes me, I wonder if he’s happy but mostly of all I wonder if he can see us. I mean, science can’t answer this but where does your soul go when you’re in a coma, does it float around? Is it here? And while I’m wondering how Max is, Maria is at the mall or goofing off with Alex.

It’s not that I want to push myself away from Maria and Alex but they don’t seem to care. Right now I’m sitting in Max’s hospital room again, it’s almost 11:30. Mom and Dad are worried, they say they want to know what I’m doing, where I am, who I’m with when I go out at night, I say I’m following my heart, and that I need to see where it takes me, Mom just nods and Dad, he just stares at me, blinks and asks ‘Is it drugs?’. They want to know why I’m not talking to Maria and Alex much anymore, I tell them it’s because sometimes you can’t listen to your head, you have to listen to your heart, they just nod and look bewildered.

Isabel stopped eating lunch with her popular friends, she eats at a table near the back of the quad with me, and we worked on our English project together, instead of her working with her popular friends and me with Maria and Alex.

The assignment was to create mini biographical book about someone important to you. We chose Max, I wrote about how he saved my life, I talked to his parents, they said I’m welcome in their house anytime, I felt accepted. I wrote about Max and his astronomy. I wrote about how I feel about Max. We got an A+.

Maria and Alex wrote about Beth Orton, it seems trivial to me now. When I think of Max, this song flashes in my head and I imagine the two of us dancing to the lyrics, because now they show what I feel, what I feel for Max, what I feel about how much I’ve changed. And now I feel, I feel emotions like I’ve never felt them before and I realize that I never truly felt before this, that I was just living and not feeling. But I’m learning to feel, and I never thought this possible but Isabel Evans former Ice Queen of West Roswell High is helping me, and I hope in some way I’m helping Max. I hope I’m sending him an image, somehow of the two of us dancing, lyrics echoing behind us.

Even closer than this life
Closer than your faith
Closer than the things that you hold dearly
And in vain
Closer than this life
Falling through again
Giving more than anything
That you could hope to win

Of those very words filling us with emotion, and somehow I hope Maria and Alex don’t ever understand because I want this world, this feeling for Max to be something genuine, for Me in my I will always love you type way and for Isabel in her big brother by one minute type way.***

Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life

You guys I hope you like it , I was practically crying while writing it, and I put so much emotion in it so I hope you like it.



[ edited 1 time(s), last at 5-Jul-2002 7:36:53 PM ]
posted on 5-Jul-2002 9:19:08 PM by Apathygirl666
quote:
Morning Dreamgirl originally wrote:
Little bunnies dancing, the flowers, happy happy thoutghts...Got it?!


I may be channeling Anya right now but Bunnies scare me,
posted on 5-Jul-2002 10:17:34 PM by Apathygirl666
hey guys I might go horseback ridin with my best friend in the bronx so im gonna try to have a new part out tonight if I get inspired

and to tell everyone-I can't say when Max will wake up because I don't know I don't write out a plan for my fics I just write when I get inspired-and I write what I makes me feel. it isnt always happy but sometimes thats good, if anyone of you can say you don't like this fic cuz its sad then sorry but I assure you itll turn out happy-I mean I hate sad endins like everyone else does so...I don't really know....

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 5-Jul-2002 10:18:14 PM ]
posted on 5-Jul-2002 11:48:09 PM by Apathygirl666
hmmm...bump-age!
posted on 6-Jul-2002 2:23:57 AM by Apathygirl666
another bump-just cuz im bored
posted on 7-Jul-2002 2:57:47 AM by Apathygirl666
bump
posted on 8-Jul-2002 5:43:52 AM by Apathygirl666
bump-age!!
posted on 8-Jul-2002 10:07:32 AM by Apathygirl666
bumping again!
posted on 9-Jul-2002 2:08:52 PM by Apathygirl666
lol pixie!! I'll get right to that chief ::salutes then breaks down in giggles::

P.S. Grease really is THE word!! hehe I just watched Grease!
posted on 9-Jul-2002 3:34:10 PM by Apathygirl666
an:ok guys let em explain the lack of ficage latley -see iwnet horseback riding and it drained me so I slept and then woke up and only slept durin the day so now im gettin back on track -
so thanks to:

Morning Dreamgirl - I'm not trying specifically to make u cry but umm...sry I think, oh well u know u love me for it

Shama - weird about roswell makin you emotional, naw no such thing

clueless(4 times) - why thank u, im happy u like this

Pixie (2 times) - hehe yeah I wanted a fic where Isabel wasn't made out to be mean, because deep down I think she was pushed into being an ice queen on the show due to circumstance, hehe and yeah I know im evil but I love your story

Adrianna - hehe two heads! lol!

roswellluver - yeah emotions are gonna be runnin high for a while

marteloise - thanks

Calinia(2 times) - well I cant tell u about maxs feling just yet, but his intentions, reasons and feeling will be revealed in due time, and about the blame, I just didn't want Liz to be the enemy, or whatever, I wanted this fic to be about feeling, not anger, not rage but true emotions.

Qtygirl411 - thanks for puttin me on your list, yeah I searched for that song so long and I got really bored, tryin to escape my cousin on the 4th of july so I barracaded my self in my room and I decided to go to roswell mp3 site and I found it! I was so happy I played it like 40 times my parents have official banned me from playin it for the time bein

Bite me (2 times) - sry I got your hopes but no fear ill have a part out soon

roxygurl182 - as do we all

ok new part out soon
posted on 9-Jul-2002 3:34:55 PM by Apathygirl666
ok...here it is

Part 4 – Break the Silence (Song is Time of Your Life by Green Day)
(Journal entries in asterisks ***)

Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life

***October 1, 1999

Dear Journal,

Sometimes in times of tragedy, people find God or faith and in my own special way, I’ve found Max. I’m sitting in his room, his real room, its early morning and I’m writing and it feels natural, more natural than I’ve felt in a long time. More natural than I ever thought I’d feel.

Isabel invited me over for another sleepover last night, we’ve become closer, you know that you’re good friends with someone when you can sit in their room with them, with you doing your own thing and them doing theirs and be in comfortable silence. Maria and I were good friends but I never felt like that. Maria always had to say something to break the silence and looking back I don’t think we ever were completely comfortable in silence around each other.

Again when Isabel fell asleep I came into Max room. The smell of him is fading and it’s becoming a little less real but I love it. When I came in, for some reason I didn’t feel so out of place here, I didn’t feel like I was breaking the Max-ness of the room. I actually felt the need to experience it. I ran my finger along the creased spines of the books in his bookshelf, looking at the names, and authors, it was so ordinary, yet personal, I felt nostalgic, like I wouldn’t feel like this again, like I had to remember this moment, because I didn’t know if I’d ever have one like it again. Then as if I needed to capture the moment, make it complete, I climbed into his bed, cuddling into the blankets and for a brief moment I felt the fantasy world I’d created at the hospital surround me and it was like I was infolded in Max’s strong arms, and I cried, soaking his pillow with my salty tears, the same pillow I knew he had cried into all those years before, feeling as lost and lonely as I felt now.

I’m sitting by his window sill wondering if he ever sat here, if he ever had a nostalgic moment right here in this room, like I am now. Right now I can’t help but feel the need to see him, I can feel it something is going to happen and I’m going to be there when it does.***

Liz rushed out the window in Max’s room, ignoring the cold stinging on her bare shoulders, and the wind whipping her long tresses. She wore only a tank-top and pajama pants, and through the cold night her footsteps sounded, breaking the silence, the vibrations of her steps bouncing off the walls of the empty buildings through town.

Five minutes later, her feet stopped, and with something resembling excitement, she clutched the journal in her hands and ran towards Max’s hospital room. She slipped through the doors and looked at him, for one clear moment. The silence rang through her ears, and she stared at him. Her eyes beginning to droop, she sat in the chair to the right of his bed.

He set the journal on her lap and fell into a sweet slumber, until the silence of her dream was broken by the shrill beep coming from Max’s heart monitor by the side of his bed. It was constant, very much like the kind that announced the passing of a loved one, and during the moment, as the silence dissipated, Liz curled into a ball and let a sharp cry of “NOOOO!!!” reverberate through the air, sending the calm white atmosphere of the hospital room into darkness as Liz passed out from mental and emotional exhaustion.

Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life

posted on 9-Jul-2002 5:14:35 PM by Apathygirl666
bump
posted on 9-Jul-2002 5:50:16 PM by Apathygirl666
jennnny!!! the puppy dogs are attackin!!!!!!!! lolz im going cookoorooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! naw just something to fill the bump-age!!!
posted on 9-Jul-2002 6:56:49 PM by Apathygirl666
pixie ill try and post soon I promise but im really not in the mood to write so...
posted on 10-Jul-2002 7:03:53 AM by Apathygirl666
bump
posted on 10-Jul-2002 1:52:10 PM by Apathygirl666
BUMP
posted on 10-Jul-2002 4:38:07 PM by Apathygirl666
bump ill probably be postin lata
posted on 11-Jul-2002 2:57:50 PM by Apathygirl666
bump
posted on 11-Jul-2002 3:01:59 PM by Apathygirl666
clueless im writin the next part and its smile worthy im grinnin like an idiot writin it well amybe not like an idiot but u get it

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 11-Jul-2002 3:02:47 PM ]
posted on 11-Jul-2002 3:11:44 PM by Apathygirl666
thanks hey she stole MY song, hehe I love switchfoot! I saw them in concert 3 times already
posted on 11-Jul-2002 3:18:35 PM by Apathygirl666
I bet you like the song in this fic them hehe! lolz they're cool, my big bro used to love them, I like them but ive never seen them in concert
posted on 11-Jul-2002 3:23:44 PM by Apathygirl666
I saw blink once but it was one of those outdoor concert things with all those different bands so I was just walkin around checkin out different bands so I dont think I saw green day if they were there
posted on 11-Jul-2002 3:37:13 PM by Apathygirl666
thanks to:

Donnie roswell gurl - lolz NOOO!! lolz ok ill be back soon so dont worry

miss_Roswell-thanks but you'll have to wait to read the next part to see if max is dead or not

marteloise - hehe not tellin

clueless(8 times!) - Max may or may not be dead im not tellin!

woodwinds - well that's not gonna happen yet but the next part is pretty untorturous

Pixie - u post more of wallflower society and ill make the badness go byebye

roswellluver - thanks

mlaixz - thanks

Calinia - I cant tell u yet if max lives but youll find out and yeah I dont see alot ofiz/liz friendships so I figured why not write a fic with it
ok I just gotta spell check and then the part will be out
posted on 11-Jul-2002 3:39:27 PM by Apathygirl666
here it is:
Part 5 – In My Heart (Song is Time of Your Life by Green Day)
(Journal entries in asterisks ***)

Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life

***October 2, 1999

Dear Journal,

Today was by far the coolest day of my life so far. I was woken up by Isabel and Diane Evans and they told me that Max’s heart stopped, but he was okay because they were able to stabilize him.

Then the weirdness began. I was sobbing over Max and Isabel just said ‘Come on’, dragged me to her house, grabbed a box and pulled me into the jeep. We drove for about an hour and half in silence until Isabel stopped. She was so silent it was eerie, from what I’d saw in movies this meant one of three things, a. Max was really dead, b. She was going to kill me or c. She was about to tell me she was really a man.

But it was none of those things, fortunately. She told me to follow her and we walked until we reached this clearing in the woods we were in. She sat down and motioned for me to join her. She pulled off the lid to the large box she was carrying. Then she spoke.***

“Liz, I told you that me and Max were adopted right?”

“Yeah” Liz replied

“Well, after the plane crash we were given some of our parent’s belongings, whatever they had found in out old house that wasn’t sold off after we moved here, we kept. It was mostly sentimental things, some photos and stuff. Mom’s wedding dress for me to wear when I got married. And some little things of our birth parents, we were too young to get them when we were first adopted, we were only 5 or 6. So The Evans kept it for us. Then on our 13th birthday they gave it to us.” She paused “Max kept it all in his room, because I wanted it to be safe. This is everything” She finished pointing to her box. “One of the things in here was a wedding picture of our parents.” She continued pulling out a photo from an envelope.

Liz looked at the picture, the man looked like Max did, but older and the woman looked like Isabel except she had blue eyes instead of brown. “They’re so beautiful.” Liz said, and they were. They were standing in the middle of the forest, surrounded by their wedding party. The woman’s long blonde hair sparkled under the midday sun, and the man’s eyes were shining with joy and love. “Do you know their names?”

“Yeah, mom’s name was Juliana, and Dad’s was Alexander, but everyone called him Zan.” She said “Liz, when we got this photo, Max was obsessed with finding out where they had been married. We knew we were born here, we think in Albuquerque, but we’re not sure. Anyway Max always said he’d find the place they were married and get married there someday, to his soul mate. Max believed in that. He would never tell me who his soul mate was though.” She said standing up.

“This is where Juliana and Zan Antaria were married, they had two kids, Lonnie and Alexander Jr., that’s our real names, although it took us a while to track down that information. In there,” She said pointing to the box “Is everything we have about or from our parents.”

“Wow” was Liz’s only reply.

“Yeah, Well, Max as I told you always wanted to be married here, he wanted to give his bride the ring our mom wore,” She said pulling a ring box out of the box and opening it. “And wear the dress our mom wore,” She said looking at the picture. “The dress is in our attic, and he used to draw his dreamgirl. I found a picture of her a while ago.” She said pulling out a piece of drawing paper from the box. “Here it is” She said handing it to Liz.

Liz stared at it awhile, the girl was standing next to Max in a wedding dress, she had a bright smile on her face and she looked so joyful. She looked like Liz.

“Yeah, anyway let me continue, also in this box is our mom’s journal, she never finished it, so Max started writing in it. He didn’t know that I knew. But I did, Max wrote about his dreamgirl and what he thinks mom was like...” Isabel finished, as they packed up and walked to the car both deep in thought.

***Max Evans has a dreamgirl, and she looks just like me…if only I could tell him he was my dreamguy, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance.***


Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life

I altered the end to give it some of this fics trademark sadness leave fb pwease thanks so much!
posted on 11-Jul-2002 4:02:06 PM by Apathygirl666
hehe I never said they would get married, I never said max would wake up now did I
posted on 11-Jul-2002 4:32:53 PM by Apathygirl666
oops forgot to updat the title line
posted on 11-Jul-2002 4:52:32 PM by Apathygirl666
is anyone out there? remember no fb no fic
posted on 11-Jul-2002 5:15:25 PM by Apathygirl666
im serious
posted on 11-Jul-2002 5:58:19 PM by Apathygirl666
fine...just fine...no fic then...
posted on 12-Jul-2002 4:33:05 PM by Apathygirl666
bump and for those watiin for parts of my other fics theyll be out soon hopefully
posted on 15-Jul-2002 6:24:09 PM by Apathygirl666
thanks for the bumps-im postin the new part of abrs and then ill see about amy's song and this along with lmktynm
posted on 19-Jul-2002 2:56:09 PM by Apathygirl666
ill post one last pt before I leave tommorrow lata tonight
posted on 19-Jul-2002 8:29:48 PM by Apathygirl666
This is a note I’m posting on all of my fics: I’m leaving for three weeks tomorrow sand I’ll be back with new fic on August 9th, with new parts of all of my fics, meanwhile leave me tons of bump and you’ll get more fic when I get back and in the meanwhile read my other dreamer stories:

Amy’s Song
American Beauty-Roswell Style
Let Me Know That You Need Me
Time Of Your Life
Pushing Me Away


posted on 20-Jul-2002 8:08:37 AM by Apathygirl666
just checkin my threads so- BUMP!!
posted on 20-Jul-2002 8:10:03 AM by Apathygirl666
just checkin my threads so- BUMP!!
posted on 10-Aug-2002 3:39:14 PM by Apathygirl666
postin this on each of my fics:

hey guys, im back from camp and its so bittersweet, im happy to be home but I really miss the friends I made at camp,on the last night, after the art displays (I won two awards) and the drama show and the fashion shows and the floor awards (hehe-I got the floor award for always having a smile :D) there was the candle light and it was so sad, and yesterday morning my best friend from camp flew back to chicago at 9 am and I cried for about an hour, it was so sad, and everyone leaving, I swear it the worst part of camp, I loved camp sooo much, and I had soo much fun, anyway im gonna try to post later but right now its kinda hard to see the computer screen with the tears and all, it's just not the same anymore, I miss it all so much, I really miss my camp, and my friends, anyway im off to talk to some camp friends and then…I’ll be back….I guess…

posted on 18-Aug-2002 12:07:05 PM by Apathygirl666
going on a vaca - be back in a week!
posted on 11-Sep-2002 7:22:23 PM by Apathygirl666
September 11th, I remember