posted on 10-Jul-2002 5:28:13 PM by miss_Roswell
Title:Only Hope
Disclaimer: They're aren't mine
summary:This is a challenge by clueless here's the link if you would like to read it:

viewthread?forum=AMB_AP641015105&id=19652

A/N: Okay thank you to Meagzie for giving me the title I really suck at thinking up title's thank you to clueless for the challenge.

To Rumours n Revenge readers just this wont interfere with my writing for that well I hope it wont, I'm in such a wring mood lately so I shoudl be quick with parts, these will be shorter parts than 'RnR' parts are but quicker.

This part is really short but I'ld like to know what you think of it. Please post feedback.

________________________________________________
Part one
Max POV

I heard once that school is meant to be the happiest days of your life. What I can’t understand about that statement it that there can be a time when I am more unhappy than I am right now. But then I suppose most people’s dads don’t beat them up. No-one could ever understand what it is like to be me. No-one could ever understand that what I find worse about my father beating me, other than the feel of his fist meet my face of his foot meet my stomach is the fact that my father, the person who is suppose to love me so much doesn’t give a shit that I get hurt. Oh but we can’t forget about my mother. My wonderful mother, the person who gave birth to me, the person that breast fed me, the person that abandoned me and left me in the hands of Dad.

I’m Max Evans, a senior in high school in Roswell. I have no friends, I have no happiness. I wake up go to school some home get beat up by dad. It’s just a continuous circle of boredom, pain and hurt. Life didn’t used to be bad. I had a pretty sweet childhood. I had these great friends, a great mom, a great dad, a great life. But it turns out life wasn’t so great for mom so she ran off with some doctor called Ralph Long. It wasn’t soon after that, that Dad started going crazy. He lost his job so we have no money and the small amount of money that I earn goes to his drug addict. I’m just lucky that I can eat at work because my boss really likes the waitresses that he orders for everyone to show he’s nice to her. He also spends it on alcohol.

So that’s my life. A complete pile of rubbish. I have no reason for living I really don’t think anybody would notice if I killed myself. I never would kill myself, to kill myself I would have to loose all hope and that’s something I do have. I do believe I will get a scholarship to a collage I do believe I will fall in love. Some people would believe in my situation I have nothing but there is something I have. A small thing but it keeps me alive and that is hope. Only hope.


tbc....

Please tell me what you think.


[ edited 6 time(s), last at 5-Oct-2002 7:49:51 PM ]
posted on 12-Jul-2002 8:15:42 PM by miss_Roswell
Hello All. Thanky uo all for your lovely wondeful feedback personal thank yous after this AN. ANyway another VERY short part I think hope you like. *happy*

THANK YOU'S


Calinia:Thank you, I'm glad you like the start. It will be explained why Max doesn't want to leave his dad later on I was going to put it in part one but decided against it.

MariaG: Thank you for your reply, one of the conditions of this fic I think was thta it was a happy ending so I think the hope will turn in to reality.

clueless: I'm glad that you like it, I don't want to ruin your challenge and also thank you so much for the bumps.

jeremiah: Thank you for the feedback really glad that you liked the first part.

FIREBLUEGURL13: I'm really happy that you thought it was a good start, I hope it can be a good middle and end as well. Thank you for the feedback.

roswellluver: Thanks for leaving feedback it means a lot to me.

Meagzie:Thanks again for the title, I think it'll suit the story really well. Thanks also for the feedback.

marteloise:Thanks for the feedback I'm glad that you liked the start.

shorty828: thank you for your feedback it was really nice makes me feel a lot happier.

Spicy trini1: Thank you for the feedback I will contiune with this and I hope you like it.

tyranese: I'm glad that you're intrested in this and thank you so much for the feedback.

Lana: hey girly thanks for the feedback glad that you love it.

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Part two

Oh Goody, it's monday morning. I actually love school work, but I hate the place school. It's strange it's usually the other way round for normal people. I just hate the way I feel when I walk down the hall and no-one says anything people look past me to see if there friends are behind people.

it's even worse when I pass that group. That group who are all so happy, rich and popular. The group that would do anything for each other. The group I used to be in.

As I said earlier my childhood was great and not just because my parents where in love and loved me but because I had the greatest friends. Back then there was six of us then me, Alex Whitman, Isabelle Johnson, Maria DeLuka, Kyle Valenti, and Michael Guerin. We were the best fo friends. We knew everything about eahc other. We all lived on the same street. The same rich street of Roswell. We were all different. I don't know them anymore but back then Alex was the really outgoing one. I remember he also hated sports the complete oposite of Kyle who was a sports freak.

Kyle and I used to be so competetive at everything.

Then there was Michael he ws my guy best fried. He was always very quiet but we had a bond. We could comunicate without speaking, he had issues with his parents, we never spoke about it but I knew.

Then there's Maria, she was my girl best friend. She's sauid I was the only boy she liked because no other boys knew what a shower was we were in 5th grade and already very clean.

Next we have Isabel. I probably knew her the least. She was more for the big divide of boys and girls she was stuck up back then but I knew underneath her hard shell she was a nice person.

So those are the five. It used to be us six best freind for ever before I left. I stopped talking to them and Liz Parker took my place.

Liz parker is really popular with both boys and girls. girls can;t help but like her because she's so sweet and nice and blokes can't help but like her because she's gorgeous.

How much I wish I could be one with them. but I can't. For one I don't have the money. They're all really rich and I'm really poor. Also I'm a different person to who I was back then.

So as I walk into AP Biology I shut off any thoughts of dad, old friends or my life. Lessons are for working so I can get out of this hell hole. That's my dream to get a scholarship to Harvard and become a doctor. I once made the mistake of telling a teacher who proceded to tell dad. he sure beat thehell out of me that night, told me I'ld never amount to anything but know I'll prove him worng. I;m going places in this world and I can do it myself so I need NO distractions.

tbc......

hope you liked, it's kinda bad because in England it's 1/4 past 1 and I didn't get any sleep last night *shy* (I know that's meant to be shy but I think it looks like it's yawning) so I'm nackered. Hope you liked it though please leave feedback.*happy**happy**happy*
posted on 13-Jul-2002 6:42:42 AM by miss_Roswell
Question from me!!!

Okay people I need to ask you something. Would you prefer I worte long parts that came out not very often or shoprt parts which would come out everyday or every other day probably??????? Please tell me what you would prefer. *happy**happy**happy*
posted on 14-Jul-2002 2:08:52 PM by miss_Roswell
Hey me again aren't you lucky people ANOTHER PART.
Mmmmm I haven't made up my mind yet about part length. Any way here are the Thank you's as usual and also all your checks are in the post (joke)*big*

Thank you's


Lana: Awwwwww thank you for saying it's unique,yep I have got time to spare and here comes a new part. Hope you like it girlfriend. YAY someone who agrees that this *shy* looks like your yawning I mean no meaness to anyone who designed it but I'm stupid and think it looks like it's yawning.any thank you for your second reply and bump. Love ya girly

Alexandra86: I'm glad that you think it's good, and I am updating soon *happy*

Roswellian_chicka: Thank you so much, that's so nice of you to say that, I sure as hell hope you're going to love it, I will love it if you love it. I will keep it up and thank you again *happy*

clueless: Thank you so much for the feedback, seeing as you asked so politely here's the new part. ENJOY! Also thank you for the bump and for answering my question sort of Any way BIG THANKS!!! And thank you for your other bump.

roswellluver:Yep I will probably conentrate Max's need to leave Roswell and do well in school as this story progresses. Thank you for you feedback.

carolina_moon:Lol I'm sure he will be but it'll take a lot of hard work. Thank you for your feedback its really nice.

Calinia: One of the reasons max wants to become a doctor (one of the many reasons) is to prove his father wrong. thank you for answering my question I haven't made up my mind yet but thnak you for answering my questions and posting feedback.

Morning Dreamgirl:Thank you so much *happy* that's my face from reading that, I wont stop writng I am too stubborn to give up. I may have lond periods between parts but I'll carry on (even if I need a little push) I'm glad you think that it wont be able to become boring, I hope you are proved right.

JaneLane:thank you for your feedback and I will post more soon.

MariaG: The group don't actually think like that, that's only what max thinks they think. The group only really hang out with rich people because they're who they spend most their free time with because they all live toether. the money thing probably does have an issue because they think that a poor perosn would feel left out though. Thank you so much for your feedback and his dd id living with him in a trailer.I'm so glad that you think it's good. Thanks you for asking a question answering mine and putting your views down

shorty828:Thank you so much, hopefully things will get better for Max, what am I saying I know what happens to Max, but anyway thank you so much for your feedback, I'm so glad you like my fic.

Shama: Glad that you found it and love it. I have more for you *happy*


EVERYONE ENJOY!!!!

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PART THREE

I'm the only one in AP Biology when I arrive, I alwasy arrive early so I can get the frount seat. If I want to be a doctor I have to pay extra attention in the sciences and Maths. I ahve this really ditzy partner called Vicky Delani, but I can manage doing all the work.

About a minute after I had sat down everyone poured into the classroom. All talking with their friends, laughing together.

"Okay Class, Quiet down," Mrs. Hardy said as she entered the classroom. "Now I marked your partner work from the last lesson and I have to say I think that was the worst work I have ever received." The class laugh at her but all I can think of is she means I also went wrong, I need to do well in Biology.

"Now I think I can tell what the problem is, and that is I have asigned the partners ALL wrong," Oh this is good maybe I'll manage to get a new partner who possesses a brain! "So I have looked at everyone in the class and thought who will bring out the best in each other. SO here are the new partners. Will no-one move untill I have said something I have also arranged a seating plan."

A seating plan. That might be bad.

"So we have. Samson and Reason, Reddick and Troy, Evans," I listen up then, " and Parker."

Parker, as in Liz Parker. CRAP! That is not good, I mean sure she's very clever but she's part of the gang. The gang who I used to be friends with. Great she and tell them all about how I am and then they can laugh at me. Not that they would remember me.

"Now on the back bench on my right will max Evans and Liz Parker sit," She then starts telling us where we sit and great right at the back.

I pick up my stuff and then walk to the bench where we will now sit. Liz is already there and she's smiling. She really is so beautiful. It's strange that she dosn't have a boyfriend. She could chose anyone in the school.

"Hey Max," She says sweetly.

"Hi," I say quietly and then set my stuff out. I look over at Liz. Everything looks exactly like mine. All set out just right. Books in right order pens in line. Wow that's quite freaky.

"God I'm so glad she made us switch, I had the worst partner. Pam Troy, I think she slept with someone to get into AP Bio," Liz said and I can't help but give a small laugh. Wow I can't remember the last time I laughed.

"Yeah well you try having Vicky Deleni," I say quietly but Liz hears me and laughs.

"So class to see whether this time I have the right partners we will start with project that you will do with your new partner..." As I hear Mrs Hardy begin to talk again look away from the beautiful Liz Parker and focus all my attention on my Biology teacher.

Biology pased quickly, it's my favourite subject and it always does.

"So Max do you where do you want to meet up to do our project, I think it would be best if we did a bit everyday," Liz says smiling while she carefully packs away her things.

"Urrr doesn't really matter to me," I said knowing she'll probably choose her house and I'll have to go and see my old neighbourhood.

"how about the Crashdown?" She asked.

"The Crashdown, you go to the crashdown?" I ask suprised, I work oposite the crashdown and most my meals come from there not exactly where I expect a Liz Parker to spend her time in.

"Yes, I'm not a complete snob you know," Liz said, "the food there is great!"

"yeah I know okay I'll meet you there straight after school, it'll have to be only an hour, long though, I have to work at five," I told her.

"Okay Max, I'll see you there, Oh and do you want a ride there?" She asked smiling at me.

"Er I'll be fine thanks." Liz then nods her head, smiles at me again and then walks out without a care in thw world.

I step outside the classroom to see her going over to maria and hugging her. I quickly look away and then walk in the oposite direction of where they are. I don't need another painful reminder of how little I mean.

*

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I'm now walking to the Crashdown, I know that she probably got there ages ago in her expensive mercedes car.

I enter the Crashdown and she's sitting there in her expensive outfit looking a little out of place. I think it was then that I realised she's probably been in here about two times and the reason she chose here was so I wasn't uncomfortable. What a saint she is.

"Hey Max, how was the rest of your day?" she asked me cheerfully

"Fine."

"So d you want to order anything I just ordered something for me," she again smiled at me. I wonder if it starts to hurt after her a millionth smile?

"No I'm fine, I'll eat later," I say not wanting to tell her I don't have any money. "So shall we start?" I ask and she once again smiles.

I actually had a really good time doing this. She would crack jokes and I would laugh and I even managed a few jokes of my own. We talked while we worked, and not just about Biology for some strange reason we talked about music. I love music so much. Everytime I listen to it it makes me forget about my screwed up life and it gives me ... I'm not sure what it gives me I suppose hope is one thing it gives me. She told me about how it makes her feel free. I never really thought she could ever have any problems, I guess that was pretty stupid of me. ven though she didn't tell me I knew there was something upsetting her and bothering her. It actually felt good to know that we had something in common.

So once it reached five I said goodbye and actually felt sad at leaving her. I wanted to stay there and spend the whole night talking. Who am I kidding? She would never want to spend anytime with me than what ever is necessary. She probably wishes she could have Pam Troy back. I'm such an idiot.

tbc....

I'm really not happy with this part but I thought there firs steps of contact needed to be made. Anyway there you go. hope you liked it.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 14-Jul-2002 7:58:57 PM ]
posted on 20-Jul-2002 5:03:06 PM by miss_Roswell
Okay people I know I'm evil and should've had like another two parts out by now so Sorry!!!! I'll try and get another part out and Lana stop telling people that I'm doing stuff thats not important your making people relaise how lazy I am, you bitch. Seriously I LOVE YOU ALL each one of you you're all lovely people. So BIG BIG Thank you to all of you who are reading.
posted on 20-Jul-2002 8:56:02 PM by miss_Roswell
Hey Everyone I'm back and ready to post. hope you all enjoy

THANK YOUS!


Alexandra86: Thank you for your feedback, and sorry it wasn't such a quick update. Not that bad better than some of my other storie's updates.

Eccentric One: Thank you so much for you feedback, I love it when people actually mention stuff like you did. max definitely has serious problems and hopefully in the future Liz will help him out.

aZNroSweLl anglgrl: gald that you like it and thank you for your feedback.

roswellluver: Thank you for your feedback and I decided to go with tradition and have them as lab partners.

Lana: Thanks babe I'm glad that you liked that quote. You're so nice I swear I must be sending you money in my sleep for you to be so nice. I love you so much girlie Thank you for your bumps and everything means alot to me. *happy**happy**happy**happy*

cluless: Yay my serial bumper, I swear I wouldn't be able to ever find my stories if it wasn't for you. Thank you so much for ALL your bumps. what would I do without you??? I love them *happy**happy**happy* I'm glad that you liked that part.

shorty828: Thanky uo so much for your feedback! Glad thatn you like that part.

MariaG: I know it sounds stupid but I'm never really happy with a part until I read another part thats even worse and realise it wasn't THAT bad! I'm glad that you liked it I'm really glad that you found it funny abotu Vicky and Pam. I know that both of them were only mentioned once each in the show but you always ahve to use your pams and Vicky's if you need some ditz's.I'm not sure whether to make max friedns with his old friends before the BIg thing with his dad or not but we'll see. Thank you so much for you feedback.

Strawberry88: Thank you !!! I'm not sure whetehr I'll post any of Liz's point of view in my other fic I have all other peoples point of view and thoguht I might do something different maybe he I ever did a sequel (In a LONG time and big if!) I might do it in Liz POV. I'm glad you like Max's spirt in a situation like he's in it's all he's got.

M/L Lover1: I'm not sure if I'll make max and Liz better friends before I do that but I'll try and get that part soon. Thank you for your feedback so much.

Shama: Thank you for your feedback and wouldn't we all like to hug Max. I'll be sure to give him lots of hugs and make sure later in the story Liz does too.

Calinia:Lol, yep Max might have a few paranoid schizophrenia moments in this story but I can see what your saying that was a BIG one. his friends dont know what happend, what happened was he moved away and they tried to stay friends but he ignored them told them he only hung out with them because they lived near each other and he never liked them, they did try to stay friends but he refused. Thank you for your feedbakc and bump. *happy*

marteloise: Glad that you liked my parts, and thank you for your feedback.

rain finder: Thank you for your lovely feedback, hopefully max will get a little for confidence in himslef later on.

Morning Dreamgirl: Well a little later than before but your request is granted. *happy* thank you for your feedbakc and glad you love the story.

flohmac: Thank you for your feedbakc and glad that you found this story.

starbright:Glad that you love it and thanks for the feedback.

Roswelladdict: Glad that you love it, got to give all credit to Clueless for the plotline, she made it up.Max is very slef loathing at the moment but hopefull Liz will help him. Thank you for the feedback.

Roswellian_chicka: Glad that you found that quote funny. *happy* Also glad that you liked the new part. Thank you so much for you feedback.


Thank you all for your feedback again. I love you all*happy*

Part Four

Work was pretty uneventful as per usualy. All I could do was think about Liz's sweet smile (well it was implanted on brain since she never stopped smiling). We had a really good time shame she probably couldn't wait for me to leave.

After my shift I start to walk home towards the trailer Park. I walk slowly, I'm in no hurry to get home. I was so deep in thought that I didn't even notice the BMW convertible that pulled up next to me. I just carried on walking.

"Max!" I heard a voice call out to me and I turned aroud to see Liz sitting in her very expensive car.

"Liz, what you doing?" I asked.

"Well I'm about to ask you if you want a lift?" She said smiling again.

"Er that's okay, thanks anyway," I said and then was about to turn around and continue my walk home.

"No Max, don't be silly, I don't have anywhere to be I could easily give you a lift home, it's no trouble at all."

"Well I'm not going home," I lie, she can't take me home because if you does she'll see where I live and she can't see that. She'll regret ever standing in my presence.

"Where are you going?" Liz asked. Oh God now I have to make up some place.

"Well I'm going... er I'm going to the Library," I said nodding my head.

"Max, that's in the other direction," Liz said, wow she didn't smile this time.

"It is? Well that's why I'm not doing Geography, no good at it I should have been a woman," I said the last part quietly but she still heard me.

"Excuse me Mr. Evans but I'm brilliant at Geography and I'm a woman, and that was avery sexist remark you just said so I'm not sure I want to give you a lift anymore," liz said trying not to smile and she looked ahead in her ar not looking at me. I could see that she was fighting a smile.

"Oh I'm sorry Liz, will you ever be able to find a way to forgive me?" I asked

"Oh Max that was awful," Liz said laughing at my terrible pun.

"Yeah I know," I said smiling and then I sudenly realised. For the first time sincee 5th Grade and before my mother lfet me, I made a joke. okay a very bad one but still a joke.

"So are you going to get in or what?" Liz asked.

"Er... you know what I really feel like walking actually, no offence and I think I mgiht head home so I'll see you tomorrow in school," I said and then nodded my head and her and then turned back in the direction of home and started walking.

"Okay see ya max," Liz aclled out after me and I turned around and smiled at her. What's wrong with me, I'm making jokes, smiling. I haven't acted liek this with anyone for years. Why is Liz Parker so different??

*

When I arrived home Dad was already Unconscious. that's what a day of solid drinking does to you. I was extremly glad that she wasn't awake, I'm really too tired to have the crap beaten out of me. Also I still have a really bad bruise on my arm and he'll probably aim for there. I quickly go into my timy time room and flop down on my bed exhusted.

At seven thirty the next day I woke. It doesn't take me long to get ready, all I was thinking about was my strange dream

(dream)

Max was walking on a pathway that was going through a field of sunflowers. he then came across a picnic. there was champagne and strawberries and cream. He then felt arms wrap around him and someone kiss him on the neck.

Max turned around to see Liz Parker there in a soft dress that was loosly fitted but made her look like a goddess.

Max leaned dwona dn kissed her lightly on the lips. " You look absolutly stunning," Max said and ran his hand through her hair.

"Well you don't look to abd yourself," Liz said and then took Max's hand in hers and led him to the picnic blanket. "You like?"

Max started kissing Liz and mumbled, "Mmmm my favourite."

"Max if you don't stop that we wont get anything eaten," Liz said then inbetween Max's kisses.

"Okay, I love you so much you know that right?"

"Of course, because I feel the same way, you can always talk to me Max, I'll always be there for you," Liz said and then leant back over and kissed him on the tip of his nose.

"Why don't we have some of these strawberries?" Max asked. He then picked up one of the juicy red berries and brought it to Liz's lips.

"Mmmm tasty," Liz said and then she kissed him.

"Thank you so much Liz, for always being there for me, for making me feel loved, for making me realise I can be loved and love again."

"I Love you so much Max,"


And with that I had woken up. It had been one of the most vivid dreams I have ever experienced. I can still almost smell Liz's sweet fragrance. She's so beautiful and lovely, why woudl she ever want to be with anyone like me.

With that thought I set off for school. I walked quickly and was soon there. As usual I've arrived early so I can get everything ready and prepared for the first lesson. I have a test in History today. I hope I do wel in it. I need to keep my G.P.A as high as possible. I also have a meeting with the guidence counselor about what I want to be when I'm older. I already know what I want to be so that shoudln't take long.

"Max, hey!" I hear someone cll my name in a voice that sounds strangly like Liz's. Oh God I can't handle seeing her after that dream.

"Hey Max, didn't you hear me?" Liz said s she ran up to me.

"Oh sorry I must have been miles away," I said quietly staring at the floor.

"You always arrive this early?" Liz asked.

"Yes, you?"

"Always, I like to be prepared,” Liz said and I looked at her in shock. Why is that some of the stuff she says is so familiar because it’s what I think??? I guess I just have things in common with Liz but you know what they say, “opposites attract" so she’s probably in love with Sean DeLuka!

tbc.....

Hope you enjoyed!!


posted on 29-Jul-2002 9:39:05 PM by miss_Roswell
hey I'm so sorry please dont throw things at me. I'm in the middle of writing a new part fro rumours n revenge and then I'll write here thanks to everyone whos left feedabck I love you all. *happy**happy**happy*
posted on 7-Aug-2002 3:37:06 PM by miss_Roswell
Okay people I actually have an excuse to why a new part has not come out and that is because the internet has not been working, I know that should mean I should have writtern more and I have writtern some but not that much so I get the new part out really soon and clueless, babe god you are the sweetest person how many bumps can you leave!!!! I love you!!!*happy**happy**happy*
posted on 30-Aug-2002 1:50:11 PM by miss_Roswell
Hello everyone!!! I know you all want to kill me (especially clueless who I swear to you I love ALL your bumps SO MUCH!!!!) but I did have it all planned on the 13th I would come here and tell you I was going on holiday and leave you with a new part. But no I did not have time I didn't even have time to say goodbye *sniff sniff* but I'm back with a new part soon. But school starts on wednesday (please someone shoot me) so I'll be even more busy. SORRY!!! I LOVE all of you you are the nicest human beings that walk on the Earth so tahnk you all so muhc. and a new part is comeing soon.
posted on 14-Sep-2002 7:58:35 PM by miss_Roswell
*Jo comes out in camoflague so when people throw things at her they wont be able to see her. I'm so sorry. I haven't writtern any more to the part (and I'm sorry it's quite a crap boring part so far since I got back from holiday) I'll try tomorrow I was going to have to go up to my grandparents but we're not now so I'll try really hard and Lana it must have been your cheering that made us win. Yes people Oxford United won a football game today not that most of you know who oxford United are because your americans (hell most english people dont knwo who they are) but it's a miricle.

So I'll try hard to write more and get a part out and thanks CLueless and lana for sticking with me.
posted on 15-Sep-2002 1:06:37 PM by miss_Roswell
Hello people yes I'm alive and well and I have a new part. This part is longer than the others well I think it is. the ending is a little straneg and comes out of nowhere but I wanted to get that part done. Thank to all those who've stuck by me even thought it's been nealry three months since I posted part four. Sorry all. Hope you enjoy. the thank you's will be after this.

Okay this is (well hopefully I've never put a picture up so I don't really know if it'll work!) the FABULAS bannar the lovely roswellover made me so BIG THANK YOU roswellover!!! You're a huge star and also thank you to Talena who was going to make it but she didn't at the end of a very strange and confusing story.

1-1-5
Part Five.


“So why do you always arrive early?” Liz asks me as we sit down outside at a table. We arrived extra early today so we decided we should go sit down and talk.

“Same as you, I like to be prepared,” I said looking across and into Liz’s deep brown eyes.

“Yeah, but there’s a reason I like to be prepared what’s yours?” Liz asked.

“Shouldn’t you tell me what your reason is first?”

“Why should I?”

“Because you’re the one asking me,” I say and she smiles and nods as if it’s perfect logic.

“It’s because I want to do well,” She tells me and I shift a little on my seat to get comfortable.

“Why do you want to do so well? I mean you’re so bright and hasn’t your father already said he’s handing over his business to you?” I ask, I might have no friends but I still get to hear the gossip.

“Yep, he’s willing to hand it over to me even if I get 100 in my SAT’s!”

“Isn’t that good, you have something, why do you need to work so hard?”

“Because I don’t want something handed over to me on a plate. I don’t want to be dad’s heir; I don’t want to be a lawyer! I just want to be me.”

“Does being a lawyer and your father’s heir mean giving up your personality?”

“Not my personality but my spirit, yes.”

“If you lived your life by your spirit, what would you be?” I ask amazed at this. I always assumed given the chance anyone would just want to cut out the hard work and get straight to success.

“A molecular biologist,” Liz answered. She smiled and her eyes lit up as if she was talking about something she really loved, well she is.

“Really? That’s very different. Why?” I ask.

She then looks me straight in the eye and smiles, “You know Max I’ve never told anyone this. Not my parents, not my best friend, not the careers advisor. No-one.”

“Oh well if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine,” I said.

“But that’s the thing Max, I do. I feel as if I can talk to you,” Liz told me still staring at me in the eye.

“Then talk.”

“Well I really want to help discover cures. I mean who in the world doesn’t know someone who’s died from cancer? It’s the world’s biggest killer I think and wouldn’t it be so fantastic if there was a cure. So many mothers, aunts, cousins, sisters, wives, husbands and friends would be saved.” Liz said the last one ‘friends’ strangely. Her eyes left mine and she looked down.

“How old was your friend?” I ask.

“I’m sorry?” Liz asked looking back up at me in confusion.

“How old was your friend when she died of cancer?” I ask again. Liz looks like she’s about to ask me how I knew that but then she doesn’t.

“Ten.” I nod my head and then reach over and squeeze her hand.

“If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here,” I told her and she gave me a smile. This smile was different, it was genuine and she was thanking me. I smiled back at her, thanking her.

*****

Liz and I are now meeting up after school at the park. Not to study but to spend time together.

It’s strange how things can change so suddenly. I can’t remember the last time I smiled or even looked forward for school to be over. I’ve always treasured the hours I have at school, those eight or so hours mean less time at home. I hate weekends; I spend the whole time studying at the library. I don’t know what I would do if you ever had to pay to use the library.

I’ve always told myself these years don’t matter. In another two and a half months I will have left school and hopefully landed a place in a good university. I’ll then work hard and then go to a grad school and then get a job. Then I can try and make friends. Then I can have a life. Then I can be free

So why am I know feeling as though I’m dead inside. How can I ever be free if I’m dead. I guess I’ve always kinda thought that night my dad hit me first was the night my soul was punched out of me.

“Max, are you okay?” Liz asked me as she touched my shoulder and I looked up at her.

“Yes why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because the bell went a while ago and you’re sitting here all alone in an empty classroom,” She said. I looked around and she was right. Everyone had left for the end of the day and I was sitting here.

“Oh sorry I was a million miles away.”

“You sure you want to meet up, I mean if you’re thinking up of different ways of getting out of it, I’ll understand,” Liz said looking down at the floor.

“Of course not! I would never make up excuses, I just wouldn’t turn up,” I said and then Liz laughed and jokingly hit me.

“So will you turn up?” Liz asked me sitting down on a desk next to me.

“Yeah, looking forward to it,” I said truthfully

“Then why are you here?” Liz asked me.

“Well the lesson was so fascinating I was thinking all about it,” I joked standing up and I started to pack my bag.

“I don’t actually know if you’re joking or serious,” Liz said walking with me out of the classroom.

“What do you mean?” I asked dodging the crowds of people not caring if they flattened me.

“Well you always seem to be very enthralled in class.”

“Do I? I guess I’m trying to impress the teacher,” I said and Liz smiled.

“You take school work seriously don’t you?” Liz asked.

“Yeah I do, I work hard and get good grades.”

“Good Grades? Max you get the best grades in the year!” Liz exclaimed. I felt my cheeks grow hot. Why did one compliment from someone, who okay was the most beautiful person in the school, affect me so much? I knew I got some of the best grades in year it wasn’t as if it was the most surprising thing someone has ever said to me. But then again, when was the last time I got a compliment.

“Yeah well I think it’s important to get good grades,” I said knowing it was attention seeking and pointless to try and pretend I get the worst grades ever and I’ll never graduate at the end of the year.

“Yeah your dad must be pretty proud.” I almost burst out laughing at that because the only time my dad would ever become proud of me was if I gave him a bottle (and it would have to be a big one) of J.D.

“I don’t get on that well with my dad,” I said deciding to go for the whole ‘we don’t get on’ thing instead of ‘he’s a drunk junkie who beats me up’.

“Really I thought you did,” She said and then as soon as she said it her eyes widen and it was as if she had said something she knew she shouldn’t have.

“And how would you know that?” I asked not accusingly just quietly and in a pleasant voice.

“I saw you together in town once,” She said obviously lying because a. Dad and I are never together in town and b. She’s a terrible liar.

“Liz, you have to be the worst liar I’ve ever met!” I said and Liz put her head in her hands knowing she was going to have to tell me the truth.

“Okay Michael told me.” That wiped the smile right off my face.

“You talk about me with Michael?” I asked this time not quite as pleasantly.

“No I just remember one time it came up in conversation we weren’t talking about you and your dad we were talking about Michael and his dad.” As I said before Liz is a terrible liar so I knew she was telling the truth.

“Oh it doesn’t matter I was just a little confused.”

“So why don’t you and your dad get on?” She asked me.

“You like to ask your questions don’t you,” I said smiling at her.

“Just tell me if you don’t want to answer. I don’t mind.”

“It’s not that I don’t mind,” I lied. Well I didn’t really lie because I don’t mind if I can answer the question but if it gets a little too personal I do mind.

“So are you going to answer the question or are you going to ask me to move on to another question?” She asked looking a little scared. I looked at her and thought that if I asked her to move on to another question she might get offended and seeing as she’s the only on in the world who seems to be thinking about me or talking to me I think I deserve to give her a little information.

“Well my mom left when I was- wait you promise not to tell anyone this?” I asked realising how much I would hate it if my old friends found this out. Even thought I’m only going to tell Liz a little bit of my life I don’t want them to know anything. They’ll only feel sorry for me.

“I promise I won’t tell a soul.” I look Liz in the eye and for some reason I know I could tell her anything and she wouldn’t tell anyone. She’s definitely trustworthy.

“Okay well my mom left the year before you came. Before then me and dad were the best of friends. After that he just fell apart. Lost his job and become a full time wanker.”

“Oh.” Liz said as we approached her locker. I had forgotten to mention that we had already been to my locker before.

“Yeah, ‘oh’” I said. I then noticed a picture in her locker. It was of her, Alex, Isabelle, Maria, Kyle, and Michael. They were all smiling and all looked happy. It’s all right for some.

“I feel really bad now,” She said and I looked at her in surprise.

“Why?”

“Because I’m always complaining about my dad. I’m always going on about how he’s so annoying and everything but I know it’s just because he cares.”

“Lucky you,” I muttered.

“Don’t you think your dad cares about you?” God that girl has hearing better than superman!

“I don’t think that at all,” I said and then Liz nodded and closed her locker. “I know he doesn’t.”

“Max he’s your dad. I’m sure he does.” Liz said looking a bit horrified. We began walking towards the exit.

“You don’t know my dad,” I told her pushing the door open and letting her go past me.

“Yeah but he’s a father. It’s like a strange thing. All fathers must love their kids.” Liz said.

“Look Liz. I don’t like it but that is the fact.”

“So have you heard from your mom since she left?” Liz asked as we arrived at her car. She unlocked it and got in. She then leant over and unlocked the passenger seat door from the inside. “Get in.” I did as she told me.

“So are we driving to the park together?” I asked.

“What kind of stupid question is that Max? We’re both on our way to the park and your in my car. “What else are we going to do?” She asked.

“Well that would make sense but hey some people are just darn strange in this town who knows what you’re doing,” I said and Liz laughed.

“You’re right about people being strange in this town, but are you going to answer my question?” Liz asked me as she drove out of the school.

“What was the question again?” I said. I’m not quite sure why I asked that. I was perfectly aware of what the question was and I knew she hadn’t forgotten what it was either. Maybe it was to buy me more time in thinking how to answer but of course instead of thinking what the answer would be I was thinking why I asked her to repeat the question??? She wouldn’t think I’m so clever if she could hear my thoughts right now.

“Have you met, or seen anything of your mother since she left?”

“Nope,” I said not looking at her knowing she would have a sympathetic look on her face and I would hate to see that look.

“You poor thing did you get on with your mom?” She asked me stopping at a red light.

“Yes.”

“You obviously don’t like talking about her. Or your dad,” Liz said.

“I’ve never told anyone as much as I’ve told you,” I admitted

“Really?”

“Yep so why don’t you tell me why you don’t get on with your dad?”

“How do you know I don’t get on with my dad?” Liz asked me looking a bit confused.

“You mentioned it earlier.”

“Did I? Oh well it’s not like we have the worst relationship in them world but we aren’t the best of friends,”

“Why not?” I asked.

“He wants to run my life. He wants to tell me who to marry he wants to tell me what college to go to and he just doesn’t care what I want for MY life!” Liz exclaimed.

“Maybe he just wants the best for you,” I suggest.

“Or maybe he just wants to show off to his friends that even though he never had a son his daughter can be okay sometimes.”

“He wanted a son?” I asked as Liz parked the car near to the park.

“Yeah, he was devastated when I was born. My parents had trouble getting pregnant so he was convinced I would be a boy, but nope I was a girl.”

“Yeah but he must be pretty proud of you?” I said getting out of her car.

“No, he doesn’t care as long as I do what he says he’s fine. It’s not like we argue or anything like that, I think that’s what’s wrong with our relationship. He doesn’t care enough about me to wan to argue.2 I look at Liz and see she has tears in her eyes.

“Oh Liz,” I said and then I did something that shocked me. I did something that I hadn’t done since my mom was around, I hugged her. I wrapped my arms around her and embraced this amazing girl to try and make her feel better. I could feel the strong scent of her hair in my nostrils and the smoothness of it. I could feel her tears on my chest as she cried.

“Oh Max I feel so stupid now,” Liz said pulling away from our embrace and she sat down at a nearby picnic table.

“Why? For being human, and upset that you’re not close to your dad? It’s only natural Liz. You don’t need to be embarrassed,” I told her sitting next to her.

“Well I feel embarrassed. I mean we don’t know each other that well and I’m crying on you,” Liz said.

“Well I’m here for whenever you need a shoulder to cry on,” I told her sincerely.

“It’s weird Max, I’ve told you more in a few days than I’ve told say Maria in six years,” She said. I looked down when she mentioned Maria. I had almost forgotten her relationship with my old friends.

“Yeah well I’ve just been in the right place at the right time,” I told her not looking at her probably.

“You don’t want to talk about Maria or any of the others do you?” Liz asked. I was shocked. How can I tell her that it’s just too painful to talk about them because they represent a part of my life that was so wonderful it’s hard to think about now.

“No.” After I had looked up into Liz’s eyes I found it impossible to lie to her.

“Why?” She asked. She looked so innocent staring up at me with curiosity and concern in her eyes. She looked so perfect sitting there. And in that moment I forgot about her question. I forgot about my dad. I forgot about Maria and how she was Liz’s best friend. All I could think about was how I was sitting with this beautiful girl and we were talking like friends. It wasn’t until her saying my name that brought me back to earth making me realise that I hadn’t answered her question.

“Because they were part of my life when I was a different person and I’m not that guy anymore so I don’t want to talk about it,” I said semi lying. I mean there was some crazy truth to what I said but it wasn’t the proper reason.

“You don’t seem that different from what I’ve heard,” Liz muttered but I heard her very clearly.

“What have you heard?” I asked frowning.

“Well Maria once told me what you were like. Well your friendship. She told me how you always looked out for everyone and you were always a shoulder to cry on. And from what I know of you, you’re still that guy.” Liz said taking my hand and squeezing it.

“Look, I just feel a little uncomfortable with being friends with you and not with them so maybe we should keep our friendship a little low key?” I asked leaning forward.

“You don’t want people to know we’re friends?” Liz asked sounding hurt.

“It’s not that Liz it’s just I used to be best friend with your friends and it’s been a hell of a long time since I spoke to them and I think it would be uncomfortable if I started being more friendly with you in public,” I told her. I don’t think she’ll understand, hell I hardly understand what I’m talking about!

“Okay, but we can still carry on talking now, you Mr Evans are trying to avoid talking about the guys,” She said smiling and standing up so we could go for a walk around the park.

“Do you really want to talk about them?” I asked.

“Yep,” She said.

“Why?”

“Because it’s obviously a big thing to you and it will help if you talk,” Liz said in a know-it-all manner.

“Why do you think it’s a big thing?” I asked confused how she seemed to be able to read me like a book.

“Because you don’t want to talk about it so it must be important to you,” Liz said, “look Max if you don’t want to tell me say that but don’t say its not important because it is.”

“It’s just kinda strange I mean I was a complete git to them all. And I wanted to be. My aim was to have no friends. I wanted to be left alone and I certainly achieved it.”

“You’re not alone now, I mean you and me are walking and talking,” She said seeming a little flustered.

I looked at her long and heard and she stared right back at and for the first time in ages I didn’t feel alone. I knew I could tell Liz anything and she would understand. I felt alive.

“Yeah we are, but your friends with them all and it’ll be strange talking to you about them,” I told her truthfully. I felt like someone had a cast a truth spell over me I couldn’t lie to her.

“Well maybe I can understand more I mean I know them and Max you probably think I replaced you or something in the group, I didn’t. I juts made friends with Mari and kinda joined the group. No-one ever replaced you.”

“Well when my mom left I didn’t tell anyone. They found out by the gossip going around. I think it was Michael who first asked me about it and I said it was true and then he was about to try and talk to me about it when I told him to piss off and that’s when the whole ‘I don’t want any friends’ thing started. I just was so embarrassed and I wanted to be alone. I felt that everyone was laughing about me behind my back. They were all really nice especially Michael and Maria. They were my best friends probably. They kept telling me that they would be there for me and kept inviting me to their houses and I would always tell them to piss off and that I didn’t ever want to see them. After a about a year they finally stopped. It wasn’t until about 7th grade that they stopped even saying hi to me. Because every time I would say “Piss off.””

“Do you wish you were still friends?” Liz asked me.

“Erm… I don’t know. I mean they could be completely different and I don’t know whether I could have coped if we were all friends. I know that sounds strange but I need to be a loner. I need to be apart just so I can concentrate 100% on working. I don’t just mean on school work I’m actually the person that brings in the money in the family. Dad doesn’t work so I need to work all the hours I can in the UFO centre. I’m just lucky that my boss you probably know him Brody Davis is a millionaire and he doesn’t know what to do with all his money so he gives really really good wages.”

“You bring all the money in!” Liz exclaimed.

“Yeah, I do. That’s why I don’t have much.”

“It must have been hard I mean I heard all about how rich you were. Going from that to hardly anything,” Liz said sympathetically.

“Yeah well I’m used to it now. I had to grow up pretty quickly after mom left. I was in charge my dad couldn’t do anything at first I er… I understood and I felt sorry for him but then… then he went too far and I now hate him. He’s not really my dad he’s just an empty man who died when mom left.” I told her.

“What did he do that went too far?” Liz asked the question. The question that even though I knew I could trust her I couldn’t answer. How could I tell her that my dad started beating me when I was 13 and now five years later he still sometimes did it?

“Erm… he er…”

“It’s okay Max you don’t have to tell,” Liz said. Somehow she knew that I couldn’t talk about it. How did she know that I needed to talk about my old friends but I just couldn’t about my dad? She’s so amazing!

“Thanks.” I said and smiled at her. She smiled back and I knew that Liz Parker was something special.


*


Liz and I talked for hours and hours. I told her all about Michael, Maria, Kyle, Alex and the others. I told her how I had to work hard to get the scholarship to Stanford. I had been excepted if I got the right grades and I couldn’t wait. She told me she either wanted to go to Yale or Stanford to study Molecular Biology (She didn’t want to go to Harvard because her dad wanted her to go there and she didn’t want to be thought of as Jeffery Parker’s daughter) and she told me all about her mom and dad and how she wished she had a closer relationship with them. We talked about what music we liked about strange things that came up in the conversation. We just talked. It’s now about 1 o’clock. Liz left hours ago but I’ve just been going over our conversation over and over again. It seemed that lately the only think I could think about was Liz Parker. It was like she had planted her self in my brain and was refusing to leave. She’s just the most amazing, beautiful wonderful person I’ve ever met. Whenever I think about her I can’t help but smile.

I decided I should probably start to walk home seeing it was so late and a school night. I was lucky that I had done most of my homework at lunch and that the rest that I was given after lunch wasn’t due in for a bit.

It didn’t take long to get home. After walking everywhere I can now walk extremely fast.

As soon as I got home I knew my dad was drunk. I could smell the alcohol in the air and the disgusting cheap cigarette smell and also the place was a complete tip. I could hear the television on very loudly and I thought that the best thing to do was to walk as quietly as I could to my bedroom before he knew I was here because it would not be pretty.

I remember this one time when I got back really late and he had been drinking for hours he got so mad and told me he needed to teach me a lesson. He got his cigarette lighter out and drew a line down my back with it. It was so painful and when I started to cry he told me I was a pathetic boy and that I should learn not to be such a weak, pathetic son. I had to sleep on my front for ages and tried to never see my dad. I still have the scar on my back. It was a long time ago so it’s not that clear but a reminder for what a barstad my father is.

So as I creep to my bedroom I hear a drunken yell. “You little f**ker get here!”

I didn’t know what to do. Should I pretend I wasn’t here and go to my bedroom or go to him. I knew I had to go to him. He would just come and get me if he thought I was here and he would be even more pissed that he would have to move his ass and get me.

“Hey,” I said as I walked up to him. He was sitting in front of the television with a beer in his hand. He looked as disgusting as he usually did and smelt of smoke, beer and body odour.

“Where the f*** have you been?” He asked and he stood up. I took a step back as he took a step forward.

“Just out,” I told him. He looked so pissed.

“You’ve been to the cops haven’t you? You’ve complained about me haven’t you? You made up stories how I treat you unfairly HAVEN’T YOU!” He shouted. I don’t know where this paranoia comes from but he’s always been really scared I’ll call the police and get him arrested. I think he realises that I should do it and if he gets locked up he won’t be able to drink all the time.

“No. I haven’t told anyone you think I would still be here if I told people how you treat me!” I growled at him. He makes me so angry I could explode. He’s such a selfish prick he’s meant to be my dad for Gods sake! He’s meant to care about me, he’s meant to love me!

“You’re a liar. You’re a liar! You’re plotting against me! You need to be stopped!” My dad says looked scared himself. He’s actually flipped. He thinks I’m plotting against him? What the hell has he been watching?

“Oh piss off and sober up you’re going crazy!” I turned around to go to my bedroom until I felt a sharp pain in my side. I fell down and looked up to see my crazy father holding a bloody knife. I then felt the excruciating pain in my side to feel that it was wet. I lifted my hand and saw bloody. My father had stabbed me!

tbc....


hope you liked it.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 17-Sep-2002 3:14:37 PM ]
posted on 15-Sep-2002 1:52:30 PM by miss_Roswell
THANK YOU'S




NATEVANS: I'm glad that you loved that part and here's more to make you happy. And I do want to amke you happy. Tahnks for teh feedback I loved it.

aZNroSweLl anglgrl: thank for the feedback

clueless: hey girl omg thank you SO MUCH for every single bump you left all 77 OF THEM!!! I ept recounting just to make sure. Thanky ou girl SOOOOOOOOO MCUH!!!! You really helped me want to xcontinure I'm so sorry it took so long for the new part though.

Lana: I'm not going to pay you money girl but I'll pay you in hugs. Thank you SO MUCH for being there and always pressing me to write more. Glad you liked the dream and I hope you like this part. Thank you for all the bumps and especially thank you for cheering Oxford on they needed it and won!!!

shorty828: Thanks for the feedback and yes Max should realise that liz likes him but he's male and stupid and hurt. Hope you like this part.

roswellover: Thank you so much for the bannar. You're a star and if you want me to use it I'll try and put it up. Please reply to me and lety me know. It's so wonderful by the way. thank you also for your wonderful feedback.

Strawberry88: thnk you so much for your feedback. Gld you like it and sorry it took so long to write more.

MariaG: If you read the challenge you would know what I was talking about. The big thing with his dad happened at the very end of the last part. Hope you enjoyed it and thank you so much 4 ur feedback. Glad you liked the joke. and thank you for all the other bumps.

Shama: Thank you for the feedback and I'm so glad that you liked that part and the story hope that you like the new part.

Alexandra86: In this part Max does open up a lot to Liz and thank you so much for your feedback. Hope you enjoyed the new part.

Lindsey: thanky uo for the bump and hope you liek the next part.

roswelladdict: Thank you so mcuh for your feedback and we all know that Liz isn't attracted to Sean but silly max doens't know that. Hope you like the new part and carry on enjoying my fic. And thank you for all the other bumps.

Calina: Hey glad that I managed to clear it up for you. Sorry Max's self puiting was annoying you he's not very self piting in this part (once again we're talking about max's faults at least I'm not sticking up for him this time lol) Glad that you liked the dream yeah he does mention that he doens't have much money in this part and it's very embarrassing for him. Thank you so much for the feedback and I hope continue to read this and like it.

morning dreamgirl: glad you got here in the end (you had plenty of time to read it seeigns as it took me so long to get a new part out!) Awwwww thank you for saying that about my work. Yep Liz isn't intrested in Sean so Max is just being stupid but hey he's hurt! Liz knows the rumours but she doesn't know everything. He doens't thinkt hey wont like him he does expalin one reason why he didn't want to hang out with the others in the new part. Thanks for the feedback and thanks for the encouragement.

BehrFanatic007: you ahd a hell of a lot of seconds to wait for the new part so I'm really sorry. Thank you so much for the feedbxck it really means a lot to me.

marteloise: Thank you for the feedback and sorry I didn't come back soon.

ILYMEFOREVER: Thanks you for the bumps and hope you like the new part.

Spicy trini1: Glad that yopu found the story and I hope you like the new part.

wild_child_uk : thank you for the feedback adn I hope that you enjoy my new part.

Angel eyes: thank you so much for your feedback and I'm glad you found us. sorry I didn't hurry back.

goddessgurl5000: hey newbie. Glad your found my story and like it. I hope you liek the new part.



Thank you all again I cant believe 21 different people left me feedback. Thank you all and I hope you enjoy the new part. I'll try not be so long next time.




posted on 17-Sep-2002 3:18:39 PM by miss_Roswell
Hey just wnat to show off the lovely bannar that roswelllover made for me. THANK YOU!!!! And here it is.


1-1-5

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 17-Sep-2002 3:20:09 PM ]