SACRIFICES

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING FROM ROSWELL. I ONLY OWN MY IMAGINATION.
SUMMARY: VERY DREAMER!!! LIZ TELLS HOW SHE HIT ROCK BOTTOM THEN GOES OFF TO PRESENT DAY FOR HER.
FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED, GOOD OR BAD, JUST BE NICE THIS IS MY FIRST FIC.



PART ONE


OH WHERE TO BEGIN? I COULD START WITH WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE AND YOU DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO PROTECT HIM OR HER, OR I COULD START WITH THE WONDERFUL SAPPY PART, WHERE EVERYTHING WAS WONDERFUL. CORNY? YA I KNOW. WELL, I THINK I’LL JUST START WITH MY NAME AND SEE WHERE MY MOUTH TAKES ME FROM THERE. HERE IT GOES………
MY NAME IS LIZ PARKER AND NOW I LIVE IN WHAT YOU COULD ONLY DESCRIBE AS A SHACK. IT WASN’T ALWAYS LIKE THAT THOUGH. I USED TO LIVE WITH MY MOM & DAD ABOVE A CHEESY ALIEN THEMED CAFÉ THAT THEY OWN. I’M THEIR ONLY DAUGHTER. IF YOU ASK NOW IF THEY HAD ONE I’M NOT SURE WHAT THEIR ANSWER WOULD BE, WELL, AT LEAST THE ANSWER OF MY DAD AND HIS NEW WIFE. NOTICE HOW I DIDN’T CALL HER MY MOM OR STEPMOM.
NOW DON’T GET ME WRONG. I WASN’T SOME REBELLIOUS TEENAGER WHO DIDN’T WANT TO FOLLOW HER PARENTS RULES. ACTUALLY I WAS A STRAIGHT A STUDENT HEADED FOR HARVARD. AT LEAST UNTIL I WAS KICKED OUT OF MY HOME AND FORCED TO QUIT SCHOOL. I’LL GET TO THAT ONE LATER. UP UNTIL ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF AGO I WAS YOUR NORMAL GOODIE GOODIE TEENAGE GIRL HANGING OUT WITH HER FRIENDS, AND MAKING PLANS FOR THE FUTURE, BUT AS MOST THINGS, IT DIDN’T LAST.
LAST SEPTEMBER I WAS WORKING AT THE CRASHDOWN (MY PARENTS CAFÉ), AND EVERYTHING WAS NORMAL. MARIA (MY BEST FRIEND) WAS WORKING, BUT MOSTLY TALKING MY EAR OFF, AND KIDS FROM SCHOOL WERE IN BOOTHS, TALKING AND EATING AWAY, WHILE I SERVED THE MASSES WHO COULDN’T COOK FOR THEMSELVES. OH WELL, AT LEAST I HAD MY FRIEND MARIA TO TALK TO. OH, DID I MENTION THE EYE CANDY IN THE CORNER? MAX EVANS…I THOUGHT HE’D NEVER GO FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME, EVEN THOUGH MARIA SWORE UP AND DOWN THAT HE’S ALWAYS STARING AT ME HAD HAS A HUGE CRUSH ON ME.
ANYWAYS, LIKE I SAID EVERYTHING WAS NORMAL UNTIL I HEAR YELLING. NORMALLY I WOULD HAVE JUST IGNORED IT, FIGURING IT TO BE A MORON CUSTOMER COMPLAINING THAT THEY GOT FRIES INSTREAD OF A SATURN RINGS. YOU KNOW SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THAT, BUT THE TINY LITTLE HAIRS ON THE BACK OF MY NECK WERE STANDING UP. I HAD NO CLUE WHAT WAS GOING ON, BUT THEN I HEARD IT. THE CRACK WAS SO LOUD IT COULD ONLY BE ONE THING. THE NEXT THING THAT I KNOW I’M LYING ON MY BACK AND I’M IN PAIN, GOD I’M IN PAIN. AND IN THOSE FEW MOMENTS INBETWEEN HEARING THE SHOT AND HITTING THE FLOOR I REGISTER HEARING MARIA SCREAMING AT ME AND THEN I SEE THESE EYES THAT ARE WIDE AND LOOKING STRAIGHT AT ME, STRAIGHT INTO MY SOUL. WHEN I REALIZE WHO THEY BELONGED TO I FORGOT ABOUT WHY I FELT THIS PAIN IN MY STOMACH AND I JUST WANT TO MAKE THAT LOOK GO AWAY, TO MAKE EVERY THING BETTER, CAUSE THEY BELONGED TO NONE OTHER THAN MAX EVANS. AND IN THAT SPLIT SECOND WHAT I SAW IS ANGER, SORROW, LONLINESS, PAIN, AND NEED, BUT ABOVE ALL ELSE I SEE LOVE. I’M THINKING, “NOW I KNOW I’VE BEEN SHOT!” AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW HE’S BY MY SIDE AND HE’S THE ONE MAKING EVERYTHING BETTER. I WAS DYING, BUT THE AMAZING THING IS HE HEALED ME. I HAD NO CLUE HOW AND I REALLY DIDN’T CARE TOO MUCH, BUT HE DID. HE BEGGED ME NOT TO TELL ANYONE WHAT HAPPENED, AND TO SAY THAT I SPILLED KETCHUP ON MYSELF. I COULD SEE THE HELPLESSNESS AND FEAR IN HIS EYES SO I AGREED. BUT AGAIN I ALSO SEEN THAT BEAUTIFUL THING AGAIN…LOVE, PURE LOVE.
THE NEXT DAY I CORNERED AND QUESTIONED HIM, AND AS IT TURNS OUT THIS BEAUTIFUL PERSON INFRONT OF ME WAS AN ALIEN. WHAT WAS REALLY WEIRD WAS THAT I DIDN’T FREAK OUT LIKE I THOUGHT I WOULD. OF COURSE I DIDN’T SHRUG MY SHOULDERS AND SAY OKAY, AND GO ON WITH MY DAY, BUT I DIDN’T RUN SCREAMING MY HEAD OFF EITHER, SO I THINK THAT I HANDLED IT PRETTY WELL. SO I JUST HAD TO ASK HIM, "SO WHEN YOU HEALED ME YOU RISKED EVERYTHING GETTING OUT DIDN'T YOU? WHY?" AND WITHOUT HESITATION HIS ANSWER WAS, "IT WAS YOU." I WAS BLOWN AWAY.
AS TIME WORE ON MY TWO BEST FRIENDS ALEX & MARIA WAS LET IN ON THE SECRET. MARIA AND MICHAEL WOULDN’T ADMIT IT AT FIRST, BUT THEY HAD IT BAD FOR EACHOTHER. OH, DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT? SORRY. WELL, ISABEL (MAX’S SISTER) AND MICHAEL (HIS BEST FRIEND) ARE ALIENS TOO, SILLY ME. WHILE TELLING THIS STORY YOU’LL LEARN REALLY FAST THAT I JUMP AROUND A LOT WHEN I TELL A STORY. I GUESS IT COMES FROM TRYING TO THINK OF COVER STORIES ON THE SPOT AND BEING CHASED BY EVIL ALIENS, THAT SCRAMBLE YOUR BRAIN A LITTLE BIT.
MAX AND I WERE DATING FOR SOME TIME AND EVERYTHING WAS GREAT. YA IT TOOK A LITTLE BIT, BUT WE FINALLY REALIZED THAT WE WERE MEANT FOR EACHOTHER. WE WERE NORMAL TEENS IN LOVE. THAT IS UNTIL “SHE” CAME. SHE BEING “THE BITCH” WHO SCREWED UP OUR LIVES FOREVER. I KNOW, I KNOW I CAN SEE YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES RIGHT NOW. TYPICALL GUYS STRAYS AND GOES FOR OTHER GIRL, BUT THAT’S NOT WAS THIS IS ABOUT. SHE WASN’T JUST SOME NORMAL GIRL FLAUNTING HER SHIT TO TRY AND STEAL MY MAN, SHE WAS AN ALIEN USING HER POWERS, POWERS HE HAD NO CONTROL OVER. AND TRY AS I MIGHT I COULDN’T HELP THE OVERWHELMING FEELINGS OF JEALOUSY. I KNOW THAT HE COULDN’T CONTROL WHAT HE SAW OR FELT WHEN HE WAS WITH HER, BUT THAT UGLY GREEN EYED MONSTER OF JEALOUSY STILL REARED ITS UGLY HEAD.
HER NAME WAS TESS AND I CAN BARELY SAY IT WITHOUT STOMACHACID COMING UP MY THROAT. I MEAN TESS!!! WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT? I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WITH HER, BUT I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE HALF OF IT. THAT’S WHEN EVERYTHING WAS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. ALL OF OUR LIVES WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN, AND IT WASN’T FOR THE BETTER EITHER. LITTLE BY LITTLE THINGS GOT WORSE. WHEN TESS CAME TO TOWN WE WERE VERY SUPICIOUS OF HER, BUT WE DIDN’T THINK HER TO BE AN ALIEN. WELL, TURNS OUT SHE WAS. SHE HAD THE POWER TO MAKE YOU SEE THINGS IN YOUR MIND THAT WEREN'T REALLY THERE. SHE WOULD MAKE MAX HAVE VISIONS OF THEM TOGETHER, AND WHEN I MEAN TOGETHER I DON'T MEAN JUST TALKING. SHE EVEN HAD MAX KISS HER INFRONT OF THE CRASHDOWN ONE NIGHT WHERE SHE KNEW I'D SEE. MAX WAS DESPERATLY TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT HAPPENED AND AFTER SOME MAJOR TALKING ON HIS PART AND AFTER ASKING ME TO HAVE "FAITH" IN HIM AND IN US I FINALLY BELIEVED THAT IT WASN'T HIS FAULT. WE QUICKLY GOT TO THE BOTTOM OF IT AND EXPOSED HER AND HER GUARDIAN NESADO FOR WHO THEY WERE AND AFTER THAT IT WAS NO STOPPING HER FROM HER MISSION, MISSION MAX. SHE WAS CONSTATLY GETTING BETWEEN MAX AND I SAYING THAT THEY BELONGED TOGETHER, THAT SHE WAS HIS “DESTINY”. GOD I HATE THAT WORD NOW! I HATED HER!!! AT LEAST MAX COULDN’T STAND HER EITHER.
WHEN MAX HEALED ME EVERYTHING CHANGED FOR HIM. MICHAEL AND ISABEL WERE ALWAYS ON HIS CASE ABOUT ME SAYING THAT HE COULDN’T GET TOO CLOSE, BUT OF COURSE IT WAS WAY TOO LATE. MAX AND I WERE IN LOVE. BUT THAT WAS THE EASY STUFF. DEALING WITH MICHAEL'S WARNINGS AND ISABEL'S NAIL BITTING WAS NOTHING COMPAIRED TO THE DANGER THAT SAVING ME CAME WITH. THEY WERE CONSTATLY THREATONED WITH BEING EXPOSED FOR WHAT THEY WERE. EVEYONE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT. FROM THE CREAPY COUPLE WHO SAW EVERYTHING TO SHERIFF VALENTI. DODGING POLICE, FBI AGENTS, AND JUST PLAIN NOSY PEOPLE IS NOT FUN, BELIEVE ME I KNOW.
WHILE TRYING TO SAVE ME FROM AN ALIEN (NESADO) POSING TO BE MAX, MAX WAS CAPTURED BY THE FBI SPECIAL UNIT. THAT WAS ONE OF THE SCARIEST THINGS IN MY LIFE. GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT MAX WENT THROUGH, I SAW SOME THINGS IN A FLASH, BUT HE NEVER REALLY TALKED ABOUT IT. ANYWAY, I EVENTUALLY HAD TO ENLIST THE SHERIFF’S HELP WITH GETTING MAX OUT ALTHOUGH HE DIDN’T KNOW THE ENTIRE STORY. I TOLD HIM THAT MAX WAS IN REAL TROUBLE AND THAT I REALLY NEEDED HIS HELP. GOING TO THE SHERIFF WAS A HARD THING TO DO BECAUSE HE HAD BEEN ONE OF THE PEOPLE WE KEPT HIDING FROM AND LYING TO, TO KEEP OUR SECRET SAFE. WELL, NESADO AND MICHAEL WENT TO GO AND GET MAX AND AS THEY GOT HIM OUT AND MET US WE WERE BEING CHASED BY THE FBI. WE SPLIT INTO GROUPS AND WHEN MAX AND I DIDN'T SHOW MICHAEL AND VALENTI CAME BACK LOOKING FOR US. THAT’S WHEN THE SHERIFF FOUND OUT ABOUT THE ALIENS BECAUSE MICHAEL HAD TO USE HIS POWERS TO SAVE US. TO SAY THE SHERIFF WAS SHOCKED WAS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. I THINK HE ABOUT WET HIMSELF. WHAT I WOULD GIVE FOR A PICTURE OF THAT! WHAT, WOULDN'T YOU? OH YA, THE STORY. ANYWAY HE SAID THAT HE HAD ALWAYS SUSPECTED MAX, BUT THAT WAS IT.
WHEN WE HAD TO SPLIT UP TO ESCAPE MAX AND I WENT TOGETHER (OF COURSE). WE ENDED UP IN AN OLD ABANDONED TRUCK FOR THE NIGHT; I CAN REMEMBER IT LIKE IT HAPPENED YESTERDAY. IT’S WHERE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER MAX PROFESSED HIS LOVE FOR ME. I CONFIDED IN HIM THAT NIGHT AND I’M SO GLAD THAT I DID. I TOLD HIM THAT, “I JUST WISH I COULD HAVE STOPPED YOU FROM SAVING MY LIFE THAT DAY”. MAX SAID, “DON’T SAY THAT”. THEN I TRIED MY REASONING…”MAX, THE DAY YOU SAVED MY LIFE…YOUR LIFE JUST ENDED.” BUT MAX BEING THE GREAT WONDERFUL GUY THAT HE IS SAID, “NO, THAT’S THE DAY MY LIFE BEGAN…LIZ, WHEN I WAS IN THAT ROOM…WHEN THEY DID WHAT THEY DID TO ME, YOU WERE THE ONE THAT KEPT ME ALIVE. THE THOUGHT OF YOU, THE WAY YOUR EYES LOOK INTO MINE, YOUR SMILE, THE TOUCH OF YOUR SKIN, YOUR LIPS. KNOWING YOU HAS MADE ME HUMAN.WHETHER I DIE TOMORROW OR FIFTY YEARS FROM NOW, MY DESTINY IS THE SAME. IT’S YOU. I WANT TO BE WITH YOU LIZ. I LOVE YOU.” SO I SAID THE ONLY THING THAT I COULD, “I LOVE YOU.” ISN’T HE GREAT?! IF I HADDN’T ALREADY FALLEN HEAD OVER HEALS IN LOVE WITH HIM, I WOULD HAVE AT THAT MOMENT. HOW COULD SUCH A BEAUTIFUL CREATURE LOVE SOMEONE LIKE ME? I THOUGHT THAT NOTHING COULD BRING ME DOWN FROM THAT, BUT GUESS WHAT? I WAS SOOOO WRONG.
THE NEXT MORNING WE MEET EVERYONE (INCLUDING TESS) AT THE CAVE. THERE WE SAW A MESSAGE FROM MAX & ISABAL’S MOTHER. IF YOU WANT TO IMAGINE IT JUST THINK OF THE SUPERMAN MOVIE WERE SUPERMAN GETS THE MESSAGE FROM HIS FATHER, ONLY WE HAD STONES IN A REGULAR CAVE INSTEAD OF CRYSTALS IN A COOL CAVE OF SOLITUDE. ANYWAYS, IN THE MESSAGE HIS MOTHER REVEALS THAT ON THEIR HOME PLANET MAX WAS KING (WHICH I CAN TOTALLY SEE), ISABEL WAS A PRINCESS AND ENGAGED TO MAX’S SECOND IN COMMAND, MICHEAL. BUT THE REAL HARD ONE TO SWALLOW WAS WHEN SHE SAID THE SHE ALSO SENT MAX’S YOUNG BRIDE. SHE NEVER SAID TESS’ NAME, BUT SHE DIDN’T HAVE TO. THE SMUG LOOK ON TESS’ FACE AND THE ABSOLUTE LOOK HORROR ON MAX’S TOLD ME ALL I NEEDED TO KNOW.
MAX TRIED TO REASSURE ME THAT EVERYTHING THAT HE SAID BEFORE WAS STILL TRUE, BUT I COULDN’T STAND IN THE WAY OF HIS “DESTINY”. NORMALLY I WOULD HAVE KNOCKED THE BITCH’S HEAD OFF AND THEN KICKED HER ASS SOME MORE, BUT MAX HAD A DESTINY TO FULFILL AND A WHOLE OTHER PLANET TO THINK ABOUT. HOW COULD I EVER COMPARE TO THAT? SO I WALKED AWAY. I THINK THAT’S ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS I EVER HAD TO DO. ESPECIALLY WHEN I COULD HEAR MAX PLEADING FOR ME TO COME BACK. I’D LIKE TO TELL YOU THAT I WAS SO STRONG THAT I DIDN’T EVEN CRY, BUT THAT WOULD BE A FLAT OUT LIE. AFTER YOU READ MY STORY YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE ME ANYWAYS.
SO THERE I WAS RUNNING DOWN THE SIDE OF THE CLIFF BAWLING MY EYES OUT. I WAS CRYING SO HARD THAT I COULD BARELY MAKE OUT WHERE I WAS GOING. HELL, I COULD BARELY BREATHE. I WAS SURPRISED THAT I DIDN’T GET LOST. ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS RUN BACK TO MAX’S STRONG ARMS, APOLOGIZE FOR BEING SO STUPID, AND NEVER LEAVE AGAIN. BUT NOOOOOOO, I HAD TO LOVE HIM ENOUGH TO LET HIM GO. SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO BE COMPLETELY SELFISH AND LOCK ME AND MAX UP FOREVER SO NO ONE COULD EVER SEPARATE US AGAIN! TO BAD THAT CAN’T HAPPEN.
MAX WAS SO INTENT ON GETTING ME BACK THAT I JUST HAD TO LEAVE. I COULDN’T TAKE HIM CONSTATLY BEING SO WONDERFUL…SO… MAX, AND NOT HAVE MY RESOLVE CRUMBLE AND GO BACK TO HIS WAITING ARMS. SO I PACKED MY THINGS AND WENT TO MY AUNTS IN FLORDIA. GOD I WAS SO MISERABLE!!!
DURING MY STAY WITH MY AUNT, I WOULD CALL MARIA. I ALWAYS TOLD HER NOT TO TELL MAX ANYTHING ABOUT ME AND WHAT WAS GOING ON. SHE SAID THAT SHE WOULDN’T AND SHE STAYED TRUE TO HER WORD, EVEN WITH MAX BUGGING HER DAILY ABOUT ME. HE WASN’T MUCH BETTER WHEN I GOT BACK EITHER. HE WAS CONSTANTLY THERE TRYING TO WIN ME BACK. WHEN I LEFT I SAID THAT I WAS LEAVING SO MAX COULD SPEND TIME WITH TESS AND FOLLOW HIS DESTINY, BUT HE DIDN’T. A HUGE PART OF ME WAS REALLY RELIEVED. HE STILL LOVED ME. AFTER A FEW WEEKS OR SO I WAS READY TO CRACK. EVERY TIME I THOUGHT OF HIM A HUGE CHEESY GRIN WOULD APPEAR ON MY FACE AND I KNEW THAT HE LOVED ME AND VISE VERSA AND THAT WE COULD WORK EVERYTHING OUT.
ONE NIGHT MARIA TOOK ALEX AND I TO HONDO TO SEE MADAME VIVIAN, A PSYCHIC THAT HER MOTHER SWORE BY. WHEN IT WAS MY TURN I WAS EXPECTING HER TO JUST TELL ME WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR SO I HUMORED HER. BUT THE THING IS AS I WAS WATCHING HER I WASN'T SO SURE THAT SHE WAS FAKING IT. SHE TOLD ME THAT HE WAS DIFFERENT, AND THAT HE WAS AN IMPORTANT BOY A LEADER. AS SHE SAID THIS I TOLD HER THAT HE HAD THIS WHOLE OTHER DESTINY, ONE THAT DIDN'T INCLUDE ME. AND WHAT SHE TOLD ME GAVE ME HOPE. "NO, HE CHOOSES LOVE, HE CHOOSES YOU." "YOU WILL NOT BE LEFT WANTING".
SO THERE I AM TWIRLING AROUND IN MY ROOM WITH THIS OLD WHITE LACE MATERIAL PRETENDING IT WAS A VEIL, "I LIZ PARKER TAKE MAX EVANS TO BE MY..." AND MY WORLD WAS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN YET AGAIN. IN MY MIROR I CAN SEE A BLUISH/WHITE LIGHT AND THEN HIS REFLECTION. AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS MAX AND A HUGE GRIN SPREADS OVER MY FACE AND I’M GIDDY, AND THE NEXT MOMENT I SEE THE LONG HAIR, BLACK LEATHER, AND SOMETHING ELSE THAT I CAN’T REALLY PLACE, AND I REALIZE THAT IT’S NOT MAX. AS I REALIZE THIS, MY GRIN FADES AND MY GIDDINESS TURNS TO FEAR. THERE I AM SCREAMING IN MY MIND AT WHAT I CAN ONLY ASSUME TO BE AN ALIEN OF SOMEKIND, MAYBE A SHAPESHIFTER, CAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE MAX ONLY OLDER. EVERYTHING THAT IS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD IS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH. AT FIRST I THINK THAT HE PANICKED FOR A MOMENT, BUT THIS LITTLE SMIRK IS ON HIS FACE, AND I CAN’T HELP BUT THINK THAT IT’S SO FREAKING SEXY.
HE TRIES TO EXPLAIN TO ME THAT HE IS MAX, JUST NOT MY MAX. HE SAID THAT HE WAS FROM THE FUTURE, AND OF COURSE I DON’T BELIEVE HIM. WOULD YOU? I DIDN’T THINK SO. I MEAN THINKING BACK ON IT, IT REALLY WASN’T THAT FAR-FETCHED. I MEAN I’VE ALREADY LEARNED THAT ALIENS EXIST AND THEY HAVE ALL KIND OF POWERS, ONE OF WHICH BEING ABLE TO TAKE ON ANY FORM. SO I DON’T REALLY KNOW WHY I WAS SO SHOCKED. I ACCUSE HIM OF EVERYTHING, BECAUSE I AM PRETTY SCARED. I MEAN IF HE’S A SHAPESHIFTER DID HE DO SOMETHING TO MAX? HE’S ALIVE RIGHT.? I MEAN I’D KNOW IF SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH HIM RIGHT? GOD I HOPE I’M RIGHT. I THINK HE KNOWS WHAT ALL I’M THINKING, SO HE DECIDES TO PROVE IT TO ME.
HE TELLS ME THAT IN APPROXIMATELY 10 SECONDS MY MAX WILL COME TO MY BALCONY WITH A MARIACHI BAND IN AN ATTEMPT TO WIN ME BACK. I COUNTER WITH “MAX WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING SO CHEESY” WE WAIT AND NOTHING HAPPENS. I GIVE HIM AN IMPATIENT LOOK “WELL???” AND HE SAYS “I SAID APPROXIMATELY”. BUT THE NEXT THING I KNOW MY MAX IS AT MY BALCONY SERANADING ME WITH THIS GOOFY GRIN ON HIS FACE AND A MARIACHI BAND BEHIND HIM SINGING AWAY. ALL THE WHILE “FUTURE MAX” IS NARARATING EVERYTHING THAT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN FROM THE SHADOWS.
I JUST WISH THAT HE’D GO AWAY AND LET ME ENJOY THE SHOW THAT MAX IS PUTTING ON FOR ME SO THAT I CAN MEMORIZE EVERYTHING HE DOES, BUT HE FELT AS IF HE HAD TO TELL ME EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS BEFORE IT REALLY DOES SO I’LL BELIEVE HIM. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY IT WAS SMART, BUT WHO REALLY THINKS OF BEING SMART WHEN YOU HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL, MOST AMAZING GUY (DON’T FORGET INCREDIBLY SEXY) BELOW SINGING LIKE A FOOL JUST TO GET YOUR ATTENTION? I MEAN HOW MANY GUYS DO YOU KNOW WOULD HUMILIATE THEMSELVES JUST TO DO THAT? THEN HE TELLS ME THAT MY DAD IS COMING. AND THEN APPEARS MY DAD TELLING MAX THAT IT’S A SCHOOL NIGHT. SO THERE GOES MAX, SMILING EVEN BIGGER THAN BEFORE, NEVER TAKING HIS EYES OFF OF ME.
AFTER I COME OFF OF MY LITTLE MAX HIGH THE FOG CLEARS FROM MY HEAD AND THE WHOLE SUBJECT OF “FUTURE MAX” COMES TO MIND AND OUT COME THE QUESTIONS. I’M SURE YOU CAN GUESS WHAT MOST OF THEM ARE. YOU KNOW LIKE “WHO ARE YOU REALLY”, “WHY ARE YOU HERE?” AND “HOW DID YOU GET HERE”. AND AFTER HE TELLS ME THE ANSWERS TO MY QUESTIONS I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LITERALLY GET SICK.
I’M GUESSING YOU WANT TO KNOW DON’T YOU? WELL, I’M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU ALL OF THE DETAILS, BUT I’LL GIVE YOU THE BASICS,BECAUSE AFTER I GET THROUGH THIS WE STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO. RIGHT NOW I’M JUST TRYING TO PAINT YOU A PICTURE OF HOW THIS ALL GOT STARTED, LET ALONE THE REST OF THE STORY.
BASICALLY HE TELLS ME THAT IN HIS TIMELINE WE MADE UP THE NIGHT OF THE GOMEZ CONCERT (WHICH I HADN’T HEARD ABOUT YET) AND WERE UNSEPERABLE SINCE, BECAUSE WE “CEMENTED” OUR RELATIONSHIP. CALL ME STUPID, BUT I DIDN’T GET WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT AT FIRST. SO AFTER HE BASICALLY SPELLED IT OUT FOR ME I WAS DENYING EVERYTHING. DID I MENTION THAT MY FACE WAS PROBABLY BEET RED? I WAS THINKING THAT I WAS SO NOT READY TO BE TAKING THAT STEP WITH HIM, THAT I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE PROTECTION. THAT’S WHEN A SHEEPISH LOOK CAME OVER HIS FACE AND HE TOLD ME THAT HE HAD ONE IN HIS BACK POCKET. SO LETS JUST SAY THAT I WAS REALLY SHOCKED!
AFTER I GOT OVER THAT ONE HE CONTINUED WITH SAYING THAT 14 YEARS FROM NOW A WAR BREAKS OUT AND EVERYONE DIES AND IT WAS ALL BECASUSE OF OUR REALTIONSHIP. BECAUSE OF OUR LOVE TESS GOT PISSED OFF AND LEFT ROSWELL, AND WHEN IT CAME TIME TO FIGHT WE LOST BECAUSE THE FOUR OF THEM MAKE A COMPLETE UNIT AND WITHOUT TESS THEY FAILED. HE TOLD ME THAT HE CAME BACK IN TIME TO MAKE HIS YOUNGER SELF FALL OUT OF LOVE WITH ME, AND THAT HE NEEDED MY HELP WITH THAT, YET AGAIN ANOTHER SHOCKER.
BY NOW TEARS WERE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE. THE LOVE OF MY LIFE’S FUTURE SELF WAS ASKING ME TO DESTROY EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED AND GIVE IT TO SOMEONE THAT I COULD HONESLTY SAY I HATED. I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER HOW MANY TIMES WHILE HE WAS THERE THAT I ASKED HIM TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE , THAT I COULDN’T DO IT. BUT EVERY TIME HE SAID THAT I WAS THE ONLY ONE HE COULD TRUST AND THAT I COULD DO IT. I JUST WANTED TO DIE!
SO AFTER I REALIZED THAT THE WHOLE WORLD DEPENDED ON MY ACTIONS I DECIDED THAT I COULDN’T BE SELFISH, I KNEW WHAT I HAD TO DO. I ALSO REALIZED THAT I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE SACRIFICING EITHER. EVERYTIME I LOOKED INTO HIS EYES I COULD SEE THE PAIN AND THE ENDLESS BATTLE GOING ON BEHIND THE AMAZING EYES OF HIS. AND I KNEW THAT IF HE COULD ASK ME TO DO THIS THAT I COULD BE JUST AS STRONG AND I WOULD DO IT FOR HIM BECAUSE HE ASKED ME TO. I’D DO ANYTHING FOR HIM, HE’S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND ALWAYS WILL BE.
DAYS PASSED AND NO SUCH LUCK. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT ANYONE COULD HAVE THOSE KIND OF FEELINGS FOR BORING, PLAIN OLD LIZ PARKER. I KEPT TRYING TO PUSH HIM AWAY AND TOWARDS TESS, BUT IT JUST WASN’T WORKING. MAX EVEN CAUGHT ME SPYING ON HIM AND TESS. THAT JUST MADE HIM LOVE ME EVEN MORE. I EVEN TRIED MY "I MAY LOVE YOU, BUT I DON'T WANT TO DIE FOR YOU" SPEECH, BUT THAT DIDN'T WORK EITHER.
I PRETTY MUCH GAVE UP AND TRIED TO CONVINCE F.MAX TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE OR JUST FIND ANOTHER WAY, BUT HE COULDN’T. I WAS IN TEARS, I JUST COULDN’T DO IT ANYMORE. I COULDN’T STAND THERE AND TELL MAX THAT I WOULDN’T DIE FOR HIM RIGHT TO HIS FACE. I COULDN’T EVEN THINK IT WITHOUT BURSTING TO TEARS. IT’S JUST TOO HARD. ONE LOOK IN HIS EYES AND I’M A GONNER.
AFTER HELPING MARIA WITH A “MICHAEL CRISIS” I HAD AN IDEA, MY LAST HOPE, BECAUSE WE WERE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. ONE I PRETTY MUCH NEW WOULD WORK. F. MAX TOLD ME THAT MY MAX WOULD COME TO MY WINDOW THE NIGHT OF THE GOMEZ CONCERT AND THAT’S WHEN WE WOULD HAVE CEMENTED OUR RELATIONSHIP, SO I HAD TO ACT FAST. I CALLED UP KYLE AND ASKED FOR HIS HELP. (KYLE WAS ALSO A MEMBER OF THE “I KNOW AN ALIEN CLUB” AS ALEX SO WONDERFULLY NAMED IT.) HE THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY AT FIRST, BUT IN THE END HE AGREED TO HELP. I NEVER TOLD HIM WHY I WAS DOING IT, HE JUST FIGURED THAT I WAS REALLY MAD AT MAX. I WAS JUST HOPING THAT MAX DIDN’T TRY TO KILL KYLE AFTERWARDS.
THE BIG NIGHT CAME AND I TOLD F.MAX TO STAY IN MY BATHROOM UNTIL I SAID SO AND TO NOT COME OUT NO MATTER WHAT HE HEARD. WHILE HEARING F. MAX TELL ME THAT HE DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD WORK AND THAT HE WOULD NEVER BE JEALOUS OF KYLE I KNEW I WAS RIGHT, IT HAD TO. I HAD KYLE STRIP DOWN TO HIS BOXERS AND GET IN MY BED AND I KEPT MY UNDERWARE AND STRAPLESS BRA ON AND CLIMBED IN AFTER HIM. I GUESS I DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO YOU WHAT I WANTED MAX TO THINK. EVEN THOUGH I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING I STILL FEEL DIRTY JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.
JUST AS F.MAX SAID MY MAX CAME TO MY WINDOW WITH TICKETS (THAT WE WOULD HAVE NEVER USED) TO THE GOMEZ CONCERT AND WAS GOING TO KNOCK ON THE WINDOW WHEN HE SAW US. EVEN TO THIS DAY I CAN’T GET THE LOOK ON HIS FACE OUT OF MY HEAD. I SEE IT EVERY WAKING MOMENT OF MY LIFE AND IT HAUNTS ME IN MY SLEEP. IT’S JUST ONE OF THE MANY NIGHTMARES I HAVE EACH NIGHT, WHEN I ACTUALLY GET SOME SLEEP. THAT’S PRETTY RARE THESE DAYS, SLEEP…I MISS IT.
THE LOOK ON HIS FACE TORE AT MY SOUL. I WANTED TO JUMP OUT OF THE BED AND INTO HIS ARMS AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. GOD I WANTED TO SO BAD. IN MY HEAD I COULD SEE MYSELF DOING JUST THAT, TELLING HIM ALL ABOUT HIS FUTURE SELF, AND I COULD SEE US COMING UP WITH A BETTER PLAN THAN WHAT I HAD. BUT I COULDN’T DO THAT. AS MUCH AS I WANTED TO I COULDN’T SACRIFICE THE LIVES OF NOT JUST ONE PLANET, BUT TWO. NOT TO MENTION THE LIVES OF THOSE WHO I HOLD MOST DEAR. I JUST COULDN’T DO IT.
LATER ON I WAS CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY AND WHAT FUTURE MAX SAID MADE IT EVEN WORSE. "I'VE FOUGHT A THOUSAND BATTLES...BUT WATCHING YOU DO THAT WAS THE HARDEST THING I'VE EVER HAD TO DO." STILL THE ONLY THING GOING THROUGH MY HEAD WAS, "THE LOOK ON HIS FACE...ON YOU FACE." AND OUT OF NOWHERE HE SAYS, "MAYBE IT'S FOR THE BEST. FOR YOU TOO." "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" "I SAW YOU WITH KYLE. HE'S TURNING OUT TO BE A...A GREAT GUY. MAYBE IT WOULD BE BETTER FOR YOU TO BE WITH A HUMAN." AT THAT POINT I COULDN'T EVEN BELIEVE WHAT HE JUST SAID, SO I SPOKE FROM THE HEART. "DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TO ME...AND YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING TO BE? YOU'RE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. EVERYONE ELSE IS GONNA BE SECOND BEST. THERE'LL NEVER BE ANOTHER YOU.
SO THERE IT IS MAX THINKS THAT I SLEPT WITH KYLE. HE DIDN’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING, HE JUST UP AND LEFT. THAT NIGHT I NOT ONLY LOST MY MAX, BUT SINCE I WAS SUCH A SUCCESS, HIS FUTURE SELF VANISHED RIGHT BEFORE ME. WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEDDING DANCE THAT I'D NEVER GET TO HAVE AND HE JUST DISAPPEARED. I HAD NEVER FELT SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE THAT NIGHT, THE NIGHT I THOUGHT I LOST EVERYTHING. BUT GUESS WHAT? I WAS WRONG ABOUT THAT TOO. I SEEMED TO BE DOING THAT A LOT LATELY.
LATER ON HE WOULD COME UP TO ME AND ASK ME IF WHAT HE SAW WAS TRUE. I COULD SEE THE PLEADING IN HIS EYES. THEY WERE BEGGING ME TO TELL HIM THAT IT WAS ALL A LIE, BUT I COULDN’T. THERE WERE TIMES THAT I ALMOST DID, BUT I DIDN’T. HE EVENTUALLY QUIT ASKING ME, WHICH WAS SO RELIEVING AND SO SAD AT THE SAME TIME. SO THERE YOU GO, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, YEA ME. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? NO GOOD DEED GOES UNREWARDED, SO LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I GOT AND HOW IT DESTROYED WHAT LITTLE BIT OF LIFE I HAD LEFT IN MY SOUL.
END OF FIRST PART…

SOON AFTER WE HAD TO GO HUNT DOWN THE "BAD ALIENS', SO I HAD TO BE NEAR MAX ALL OF THE TIME. THAT RIGHT THERE ABOUT KILLED ME. TO SEE THAT LOOK ON HIS FACE AND KNOW THAT I PUT THAT THERE. I DON’T THINK THAT MAX HAD TOLD ANYONE YET, AND FOR THAT I WAS THANKFUL. IT GAVE ME A LITTLE CHANCE TO THINK ABOUT THINGS WITHOUT THE DIRTY LOOKS AND ALL OF THE HURTFUL QUESTIONS. ALTHOUGH EVERYONE KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WITH MAX AND ME. IT WAS JUST TOO OBVIOUS.
AS TIME PASSED EVERYONE STARTED TO KNOW SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME. I COULD TELL THAT MY PARENTS WERE REALLY WORRIED. MY MOTHER EVEN CAUGHT ME CRYING IN MY ROOM LATE AT NIGHT. SHE ASKED WHAT WAS WRONG, BUT KNEW I DIDN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, SO SHE HELPED ME THE ONLY WAY SHE KNEW HOW. SHE SAT ON MY BED AND HAD ME LAY MY HEAD IN HER LAP. SHE EVER SO LIGHTLY RAN HER FINGERS THROUGH MY HAIR AND SANG TO ME TRYING TO SOOTH MY FEARS AND WORRYS AWAY. SHE HAD DONE THIS FOR ME FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER. YOU MAY THINK THAT I WAS TOO OLD FOR THIS, BUT I’LL NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH HER CALMING PRESENCE MADE ME FEEL BETTER. EVEN IF IT WAS JUST FOR A FEW MINUTES. THAT WAS ONE OF THE LAST TIMES THAT I SPENT WITH HER ALONE AND I’LL NEVER FORGET IT.
A COUPLE WEEKS HAD PASSED AND I NOTICED THAT I WAS GETTING SICK ALL OF THE TIME. I HAD NO CLUE AS TO WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME. BY NOW MAX WOULDN’T LOOK AT ME LET ALONE TALK TO ME. AND WHEN HE DID THE WORDS THAT CAME FROM HIS MOUTH WERE HARSH, AND I AVOIDED THEM AT ALL COSTS. IT SEEMED THAT EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG DID. I WAS SICK EVERYDAY AND WAS ALWAYS FEARING THAT I WOULD PASS OUT LIKE I FELT I WOULD. MIGRAINES WERE A DAILY EVENT. AND ALL DAY I WOULD FIGHT DOWN THE NAUESA THAT TREATENED TO EMPTY WHAT LITTLE FOOD I KEPT IN MY STOMACH. I FELT HORRIBLE! SINCE I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME I DIDN’T TELL ANYONE, BUT THEY NOTICED ANYWAY. LITTLE BY LITTLE I SEPERATED MYSELF FROM EVERYONE INCLUDING MARIA AND ALEX. I JUST COULDN’T BEAR TO FACE ANYONE YET. EVEN THOUGH I KNEW THAT I DIDN’T REALLY DO IT, I STILL FELT GUILTY.
BY THE THIRD WEEK SINCE F. MAX CAME IT GOT REALLY BAD. ONE MORNING AT SCHOOL I HAD RUN TO THE BATHROOM TO SPILL MY GUTS TO THE PORCELIN GOD AND WAITED FOR A WHILE BEFORE I CAME OUT. BEFORE I EVEN GOT OUT OF THE STALL I HEARD A GROUP OF GIRLS COME IN, INCLUDING ISABEL, AND STARTED TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY HEARD THAT I HAD SLEPT WITH KYLE AND THAT NOW I WAS PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK. I NEVER THOUGHT THAT MAX WOULD TELL PEOPLE WHAT HE THOUGHT I DID, AND BY THE GASP I HEARD FROM ISABEL I KNEW THAT SHE HADN’T EVEN KNOWN. I HOPE THAT SHE DOESN’T BELIEVE IT, BECAUSE IF SHE DOES SHE’LL TELL MAX.
WHEN I GOT HOME THAT DAY I HEADED UP TO MY ROOM. WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR I SAW MY PARENTS WAITING FOR ME ON MY BED. SINCE I HAD NO CLUE AS TO WHAT WAS GOING ON I JUST WAITED FOR THEM TO BEGIN. THE LOOK ON MY MOTHER’S FACE WAS HARD TO READ, BUT I COULD TELL THAT SHE WAS STRESSED AND CONFLICTED. MY FATHER’S FACE HOWEVER WAS EASY TO READ, HE WAS PISSED! BEFORE I WAS EVEN SITTING DOWN WHERE THEY OBVIOUSLY DESIGNATED AS MY SEAT, MY FATHER STARTED YELLING.
“LIZ!” “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF, TO US?” MY FATHER ASKED. AGAIN I HAD NO CLUE. “ SO HOW FAR ALONG ARE YOU? DO YOU EVEN KNOW? ARE YOU WITH THE FATHER, OR HAVE YOU BEEN SLEEPING AROUND WITH SO MANY GUYS THAT YOU DON’T KNOW IT IS?” BY NOW MY MOTHER IS HOLDING BACK AN INFURIATED FATHER AND GIVING ME A LOOK SAYING FOR ME TO MAKE IT ALL BETTER. BY NOW MY FATHER IS BEYOND YELLING, HE’S SCREAMING AT ME. HE HADDN’T EVEN GIVEN ME A CHANCE TO DEFEND MYSELF. AND BEFORE EITHER OF US KNEW IT MY FATHER HAD KICKED ME OUT OF THE HOUSE. AS SOON AND MY FATHER SAID IT MY MOTHER STARTED TO PROTEST. I NEVER THOUGHT HER EYES COULD GET SO LARGE. SHE KEPT BEGGING OVER AND OVER FOR HIM TO CALM DOWN AND TO LET ME EXPLAIN. “JEFF PLEASE, PLEASE CALM DOWN, LET HER EXPLAIN!” THE AGONY IN HER VOICE WASN’T HARD TO MISS, BUT MY FATHER WOULDN’T HEAR A WORD OF IT.
WHILE MY MOTHER WAS BEGGING MY FATHER I SNAPPED. “FINE! IF YOU WANT TO BE THAT WAY THEN I’LL LEAVE” I SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. I START TO PACK SOME OF MY THINGS WHILE TRYING TO IGNORE MY MOTHER’S SOBBS. WHEN TRYING TO GATHER A FEW OF MY THINGS MY FATHER SO LOVING POINTS OUT THAT THOSE WEREN’T MY THINGS SINCE I DIDN’T PAY FOR THEM AND THAT I COULD ONLY TAKE THE THINGS THAT I ACTUALLY PAID FOR. HOW SWEET…..NOT!!! AFTER I WAS DONE I LOOKED AT MY MOTHER ONE LAST TIME, GAVE HER A HUG AND KISS, AND LEFT. AS SOON AS I WAS OUT OF THERE I LET THE TEARS GO. I COULDN’T HELP IT, BUT I WASN’T GOING TO LET MY FATHER SEE THAT.
I HAD MY BAGS IN MY ARMS AND I WAS TRYING TO THINK OF THE RIGHT THING TO DO AND I DECIDED GO TO MARIA’S HOUSE SHE’D KNOW WHAT TO DO. ABOUT TEN MINUTES LATER I FOUND MYSELF ON HER PORCH, AND WHILE I’M KNOCKING I’M THINKING THAT I CAN’T WAIT TO BE IN HER ARMS, BECAUSE MARIA WOULD UNDERSTAND AND MAKE IT ALL BETTER. (WELL, MOSTLY ALL BETTER) WHEN SHE OPENED THE DOOR I DROPPED MY BAGS AND THREW MYSELF IN HER ARMS SOBBING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL. THEN THE WORST THING HAPPENED. SHE SHOOK ME OFF OF HER LIKE I WAS DISEASED OR I HAD BURNED HER OR SOMETHING AND GAVE ME A LOOK I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SEE FROM HER. BY NOW THE TEARS WERE COMING EVEN HARDER AND FASTER. I MANAGED TO CHOKE OUT “WHAT’S WRONG?” SHE LOOKED AT ME WITH DISGUST AND REPLIED, “ WHAT DO YOU THINK IS WRONG? YOU CRY TO ME ALL SUMMER ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU LOVE MAX AND WANT TO BE WITH HIM, BUT YOU CAN’T BECAUSE HE HAS A DESTINY, AND THEN YOU BETRAY HIM LIKE THAT AND YOU ASK ME ‘WHAT’S WRONG’? YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF LIZ! NOT ONLY DO YOU SLEEP WITH ANOTHER GUY TO WHERE HE COULD SEE YOU, BUT YOU’RE STUPID ENOUGH TO GET PREGNANT TOO! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!” “WHAT?” “YOU HEARD ME LIZ, SO DON’T EVEN TRY TO ACT LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! WHAT?!? YOU DON’T THINK THAT I HAVE EYES? I’VE SEEN YOU THESE PAST FEW WEEKS AND I’VE HEARD THE RUMORS AND I’VE SEEN HOW DEVISTATED MAX HAS BEEN. IT DOESN’T TAKE A GENIOUS TO FIGURE IT OUT!” “BUT MARIA PLEASE!” “DON’T YOU BUT MARIA ME MISSY! YOU KNOW I WAS REALLY WORRIED ABOUT YOU AT FIRST BECAUSE I REALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE SICK, SILLY ME!” “MARIA PLEASE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND…” “OH, I UNDERSTAND ALRIGHT. YOU WERE UPSET ABOUT THE WHOLE DESTINY THING AND YOU GAVE UP. YOU KNOW EVEN THOUGH I DON’T APPROVE OF JUST SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE TO GET RID OF YOUR PROBLEMS DOESN’T EXCUSE YOU FROM BEING CARELESS ENOUGH TO BE SOMEWHERE WHERE MAX CONSTANTLY GOES, I MEAN YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST CLOSED YOUR CURTIANS. AND OF ALL THE STUPID THINGS TO DO YOU WEREN’T EVEN SMART ENOUGH TO USE PROTECTION!” “MARIA! CALM DOWN AND LET ME EXPLAIN!” “NO I WON’T CALM DOWN, AND I WON’T LET YOU EXPLAIN. YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN’T TALK TO SOMEONE LIKE YOU RIGHT NOW AND YOU’RE NOT WELCOME IN MY HOUSE, PLEASE LEAVE!” AND WITH THAT SHE SLAMMED THE DOOR IN MY FACE AND TURNED THE PORCH LIGHT OUT. SO THERE WENT ANOTHER FRIEND IN MY LIFE, AND ANOTHER PIECE OF MY SOUL WAS RIPPED FROM WHAT LITTLE I HAD LEFT.
STILL SOBBING I PICK UP WHAT FEW THINGS MY DAD CONSIDERED MINE AND HEADED FOR THE NEXT PLACE ON MY SMALL LIST OF PLACES TO GO, I HEADED TO ALEX’S. ONCE THERE I PRETTY MUCH RECEIVED THE SAME TREATMENT. ALTHOUGH THERE WASN’T SO MUCH DRAMA AND IT WAS A MUCH QUIETER VERSION. I NEVER THOUGHT I N A MILLION YEARS THAT I WOULD SEE THE ANGER AND DISAPPOINTMENT IN MY FRIENDS EYES. I MEAN MARIA AND ALEX WERE LIKE MY BROTHER AND SISTER, THEY WERE MY FAMILY, THEY WERE THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE “I KNOW AN ALIEN CLUB.”
SO I HEADED TO KYLE’S HOUSE. THAT WASN’T SUCH A GREAT IDEA EITHER. HE WAS MAD AT ME FOR PUTTING HIM IN THE PREDICAMENT THAT HE WAS IN, HIS SLIGHT FEAR OF MAX, HIS REPUTATION AT SCHOOL, AND HIS FATHER. BUT EVEN THOUGH HE WAS MAD AT ME HE STILL REMAINED A LOYAL FRIEND. BEFORE HE EVEN TURNED ME DOWN FOR A PLACE TO STAY HE MADE SURE THAT I LOOKED IN HIM IN THE EYES AND TOLD ME THAT HE LOVED ME LIKE A SISTER. AND THAT HE PROMISED THAT HE JUST NEEDED A LITTLE SPACE BEFORE HE COULD ACTUALLY SPEND TIME WITH ME. HE GAVE ME WHAT MONEY THAT HE HAD STASHED AWAY FOR A RAINY DAY AND GAVE SOME OF HIS OLD SWEATSHIRTS TO KEEP ME WARM AND A FEW OTHER THINGS AND SENT ME ON MY WAY.
YOU’RE PROBABLY ASKING WHY I DIDN’T JUST TELL KYLE WHAT WAS GOING ON AREN’T YOU? WELL, WHEN HE WAS FIRST GOING TO TURN ME AWAY I WAS GOING TO LET HIM HAVE IT AND SPILL MY GUTS, BUT WHEN HE MADE ME LOOK HIM IN THE EYE AND TOLD ME THAT HE LOVED ME, I JUST COULDN’T DO IT. I DIDN’T WANT TO PULL HIM IN ANY DEEPER THAN HE ALREADY WAS. I MEAN HE DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ALIENS IN THE FIRST PLACE, SO I TOLD MY SELF THAT HE DIDN’T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. I MEAN IF I TOLD HIM IT WOULDN’T FIX ANYTHING, IT WOULD JUST MAKE HIM WORRY ABOUT ME MORE. SO I TOLD HIM THANK YOU, GAVE HIM A SMALL HUG, AND HEADED TOWARD THE EDGE OF TOWN.
SO NOW I HAVE NO FRIENDS LITTLE MONEY AND NO WHERE TO GO. YEA ME! ABOUT A YEAR OR SO BEFORE THE SHOOTING MARIA AND I HAD VOLUNTEERED AT A SHELTER FOR THE SUMMER. I COULD ONLY HOPE THAT THEY WOULD ACCEPT ME UNTIL I CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT. AFTER FOUR HOURS OF WALKING I FINALLY FOUND THE PLACE I WAS LOOKING FOR ONLY TO DISCOVER THAT IT WAS HALF TORN DOWN. MY DAY JUST KEPT GETTING BETTER AND BETTER. I RUMMAGED AROUND AND FOUND SOME OLD MATTRESSES AND BLANKETS AND STUFF. AFTER LOOKING AROUND FOR MORE THINGS THAT I COULD USE FOR THE NIGHT I ENDED UP FINDING A STURDY PART OF THE BUILDING THAT WASN’T TORN DOWN. AFTER INSPECTING IT FOR A WHILE TO MAKE SURE THAT IT WASN’T GOING TO ALL FALL DOWN ON MY HEAD, I SET UP SOME OF THE FEW THINGS THAT I HAD AND SETTLED IN FOR THE NIGHT. SLEEP DIDN’T COME TOO EASY, BUT AFTER LITERALLY CRYING FOR MOST OF THE DAY I FINALLY FELL INTO A FITFULL SLEEP.
THE NEXT MORNING I SAT AND TRIED TO DIGEST ALL THAT HAD HAPPENED TO ME IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS. I WENT FROM ONE EXTREME TO ANOTHER. NEVER IN MY WILDEST DREAMS WOULD I HAVE THOUGHT THAT MY OWN FATHER WOULD THINK THAT I WAS SLEEPING AROUND AND KICK ME OUT WITHOUT LETTING ME EXPLAIN. AND WHAT IF I HAD BEEN PREGNANT? I WOULD BE OUT HERE ALL ALONE AND TRYING TO GO THROUGH ALL THE STAGES OF PREGNANCY IN AN OLD BROKEN DOWN BUILDING. I REALLY CAN’T EVEN CALL IT THAT, ITS JUST A PIECE OF THE OLD BUILDING, THAT LUCKILY FOR ME KEPT STANDING. SO THIS IS ME, “PREGNANT”, OUTCASTED, ALONE, AND HEARTBROKEN IN MY WONDERFUL HOME…A SHACK. I THINK THAT IT WAS A GOOD REWARD SO FAR, DON’T YOU? YA, THIS IS ALWAYS WHAT I WANTED TO BE WHEN I GREW UP, A BAG LADY.
FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS I KEPT TRYING TO GO TO SCHOOL AND AVOID EVERYONE THAT I KNEW WHILE THERE. I COULD FEEL THE STARES OF ALL OF MY PEERS AND TEACHERS. NO DOUBT EVERYONE HAS HEARD THE HORRIBLE RUMORS. I EVEN HEARD PAM TROY TELLING ANOTHER GROUP OF GIRLS ALL OF THESE THINGS THAT I COULD TELL THAT SHE WAS MAKING IT ALL UP OFF THE TOP OF HER HEAD. BUT THOSE GIRLS WERE ALL HANGING ON EVERY WORD THAT SHE SAID.
I KEPT HURRYING DOWN THE HALL TRYING SO HARD TO KEEP ANYONE FROM SEEING THE TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE THAT I WASN’T EVEN PAYING ATTENTION WHERE I WAS GOING TILL I COLLIDED WITH SOMEONE. I LOOKED UP AND IT JUST HAD TO BE MAX. JUST ONE LOOK IN HIS EYES MADE MY HEART CLENCH AT THE SORROW AND ANGUISH I SAW THERE. THE BOTH OF US LOOKED LIKE DEER CATGHT IN HEADLIGHTS TILL MAX FINALLY BROKE THE SILENCE. “WHY LIZ? GOD LIZ PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHY! I KNOW THAT YOU LOVED ME, I FELT IT! I SAW ME THROUGH YOUR EYES AND ALL I FELT WAS LOVE. GOD I DON’T WANT TO BELIEVE WHAT I SAW AND WHAT I’VE HEARD, BUT HOW CAN I NOT? JUST PLEASE TELL ME IT’S NOT TRUE.” “MAX”. MY THROAT WAS SO DRY AND THICK WITH EMOTION THAT IT WAS ALL I COULD SAY. AND BEFORE I COULD TRY TO SAY ANYTHING AGAIN MAX BOLTED DOWN THE HALL WITH TEARS STREAMING DOWN HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE.
THIS HAD BEEN THE FIRST TIME THAT I HAD EVEN SEEN MAX SINCE THE RUMORS STARTED. I WAS EITHER AVOIDING HIM, OR HE WAS AVOIDING ME, WELL COME TO THINK OF IT, EVERYONE WAS AVOIDING ME. IT WAS LIKE YOU COULD DIE IF YOU CAME WITHIN TEN FEET OF ME OR SOMETHING. EVEN PEOPLE WHOM NORMALLY WOLDN’T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED IN THE SCHOOL OR TO MY FORMER FRIENDS AND ME. AS IF SOMETHING WAS MAKING EVERYINE ACT AS IF I HAD DONE SOMETHING DIRECTLY TO THEM. BUT I HAD NO TIME TO THINK OF THAT I JUST HAD TO GET OUT OF THERE.
I WAS ON MY WAY OUT OF THE SCHOOL WHEN I HEARD MY NAME ON THE INTERCOM. A FEW MINUTES LATER I WAS SITTING INFRONT OF MY PRINCIPLE WAITING FOR HER TO SPEAK. I COULD TELL BY THE LOOK ON HER FACE THAT I WASN’T GOING TO LIKE WHAT SHE WAS ABOUT TO SAY. SHE LOOKED SADDENED AND CONFLICTED. AT LEAST THAT LOOK WAS BETTER THAN WHAT I HAD BEEN RECEIVING. “LIZ” SHE SAID. “WE NEED TO TALK SWEETIE. I’VE TRIED TO POSTPONE THIS FOR AS LONG AS I COULD BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE AND CARE ABOUT YOU, BUT THIS IS OUT OF MY HANDS NOW.” I REALLY HAD NO CLUE AS TO WHAT SHE WAS GETTING AT. I KNEW THAT IN THE PAST FEW MONTHS MY GRADES HAD SLIPPED A LITTLE, BUT IT WAS NOTHING TO CALL ME TO HER OFFICE OR ANYTHING. THEN THE UNEXPECTED HAPPENED. “LIZ, WE GOT A CALL AWHILE BACK FROM YOUR FATHER HE TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED AT HOME.” ABOUT NOW I HAVE A BLANK LOOK ON MY FACE AND TEARS ARE THREATENING TO OVERCOME ME, BUT I WOULDN’T LET THEM, YET. “I WISH I HAD BETTER NEWS, AND BELIEVE ME I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT AWAY AROUND THIS SINCE I HEARD THE NEWS.” “MRS. BEHR, PLEASE, JUST SAY IT.” “THAT’S THE THING LIZ, I DON’T KNOW HOW. I GUESS I’LL JUST BLURT IT OUT. LIZ, SINCE YOU NO LONGER LIVE AT HOME AND ARE UNDER EIGHTEEN THE BOARD OF EDUCATION WILL NO LONGER ALLOW YOU TO GO TO WEST ROSWELL HIGH.” AND THAT’S ALL IT TOOK TO LET THE TEARS TO START FLOWING. “LIZ PLEASE BELIEVE ME I’VE BEEN FIGHTING THEM ON THIS SINCE I FOUND OUT. BUT I CAN’T CHANGE THE LAWS OF NEW MEXICO. PLEASE BELIEVE ME, SWEETIE YOU’RE MY MOST FAVORITE STUDENT. YOU’RE BRIGHT, BEAUTIFUL AND ONE OF THE KINDEST PEOPLE I KNOW. AS FOR THE RUMORS…I JUST…I JUST…I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT…” “DON’T WORRY MRS. BEHR, THEY AREN’T TRUE. IT’S JUST BEEN ONE HUGE MISSUNDERSTANDING.” “OH LIZ, THANK GOD, I KNEW IT COULDN’T BE TRUE!” THEN SHE ENVELOPED ME IN A HUGE HUG. AT FIRST I FOUGHT HER ON IT NOT WANTING TO GIVE INTO THE COMFORT THAT SHE WAS PROVIDING, BUT SHE JUST HELD ME TIGHTER. I EVENTUALLY GAVE IN, AND AS I DID WE BOTH BROKE DOWN INTO SOBS.
AFTER WHAT WAS PROBABLY TWENTY MINUTES OF HUGGING AND HER GIVING ME WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT WE FINALLY PULLED APART. SHE GAVE ME A DUFFLE BAG FULL OF BOOKS AND ASSIGNMENTS FOR THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR BECAUSE SHE KNEW THE GEEK IN ME WOULD WANT TO CONTINUE LEARNING EVEN THOUGH I WASN’T IN SCHOOL. SHE EVEN GAVE ME SOME OF THE SCHOOLS EQUIPMENT. ALTHOUGH IF ANYONE ASKS HER SHE HAS NO CLUE WHERE IT WENT. DAMN KIDS STEAL EVERYTHING! J AFTER THE SCHOOL SUPPLIES CAME OTHER THINGS. APPARENTLY MY WONDERFUL MOTHER BROUGHT THEM FROM MY ROOM AND GAVE THEM TO HER TO GIVE TO ME. DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVED MY MOTHER? MRS. BEHR EXPLAINED THAT MY MOTHER WANTED TO BE HERE IN PERSON, BUT SHE DIDN’T WANT TO MAKE MY FATHER SUSPICIOUS, SO SHE DROPPED THEM OFF INSTEAD. AND GAVE HER THE NUMBER OF MY MOTHERS NEW CELL PHONE AND TOLD ME TO CALL HER LATER. THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE TIME SHE WAS CRYING AND TELLING ME HOW MUCH SHE AND MY MOTHER LOVED ME.
AFTER SHE GAVE ME ALL THE THINGS THAT SHE HAD FOR ME SHE OFFERED TO TAKE ALL OF THESE THINGS TO MARIA’S HOUSE, AND THE TEARS STARTED ANEW. “SO LIZ, DO YOU WANT ME TO LOAD THESE IN MY CAR AND TAKE YOU TO MARIA’S HOUSE. I’M NOT SURE HOW BIG HER CAR IS AND I HAVE A TRUCK, AND…” I INTERRUPTED HER, “MRS. BEHR! I’M NOT STAYING AT MARIA’S” I MUTTERED EYES DOWNCAST. “BUT YOU TWO ARE UNSEPERABLE!” “WELL, I GUESS WE FOUND SOMETHING TO SEPARATE US THEN. SHE BELIEVES THE RUMORS, AND SHE WOULDN’T GIVE ME A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF. SHE TOLD ME THAT I WASN’T WELCOME IN HER HOME.” “ALEX?” SHE ASKED. “THE SAME” I TOLD HER, I COULDN’T EVEN LOOK HER IN THE EYES. “I’M SORRY TO HEAR THAT. DO YOU WANT TO STAY WITH ME?” AS SHE SAID THAT I REALLY WANTED TO TAKE HER UP ON THAT OFFER, BUT I COULDN’T. I COULDN’T RISK BRINGING HER INTO THE MESS THAT WAS MY LIFE, SO I LIED, SOMETHING I’VE COME USED TO DOING. “THANKS, BUT I HAVE SOMEWHERE TO GO. IN FACT I DON’T THINK I CAN TAKE ALL OF THIS SCHOOL STUFF FROM YOU. I MEAN I KNOW MY MOTHER ASKED YOU TO…” BUT BEFORE I COULD SAY ANYMORE SHE INTERUPTED ME WHILE GIVING ME A SHEEPISH LOOK. “ACTUALLY, I HAD ALL OF THIS STUFF READY BEFORE YOUR MOTHER CAME. I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE MY FAVORITE.” I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT. I ALWAYS KNEW THAT I LIKED HER AND THAT SHE WAS A REALLY NICE PERSON, BUT I DIDN’T EXPECT THIS. “THERE ARE SOME GROCERYS IN THIS BAG AND TOLIETRIES AND SOME MONEY IN CASE YOU NEED IT. AND THIS BAG IS THE SAME THING ONLY IT’S FROM YOUR MOTHER. THIS IS MY NUMBER IN CASE YOU NEED ANYTHING AT ALL. YOU CAN CALL AT ANY TIME OF THE DAY WEITHER YOU NEED SOMETHING, CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT STAYING WITH ME, OR IF YOU JUST NEED TO TALK.” I WAS SPEECHLESS. I TRIED TO ARGUE WITH HER, BUT IT WAS NO USE. “MRS. BEHR, I CAN’T…” “IT’S SARAH, AND YES YOU CAN! JUST PROMISE YOU’LL BE CAREFULL, CALL ME IF YOU NEED TO, I KNOW HOW STUBBORN YOU CAN BE. AND PROMISE TO TRY AND WORK THINGS OUT WITH YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS SO YOU CAN COME BACK AND BRIGHTEN THESE HALLS WITH THAT SMILE OF YOURS THAT I MISS SEEING SO MUCH.” AFTER THAT I GAVE UP, “I PROMISE.” WE EXCHANGED LONG HUGS AGAIN AND I TOLD HER THAT I HAD SOMEONE TO HELP ME WITH MY THINGS AND I LEFT.
AS I LEFT I KNEW HE WAS THERE, I COULD FEEL HIM AND I KNEW HE WAS WATCHING ME. I KNEW HE WAS STRUGLING WITH WHAT TO DO, SO I DID IT FOR HIM. I GRABBED EVERYTHING WITH ALL OF MY STRENGTH AND HURRIDLEY STARTED THE LONG THAT WAS TO TAKE ME HOME, THE ABANDONED SHELTER. YUP, SHACK SWEET SHACK.
THAT NIGHT I DECIDED TO LOOK THROUGH THE BAG THAT MY MOTHER HAD SENT ME. SHE HAD PACKED AN AUTOMATIC INFLATIBLE AIR MATTRESS AND SOME BLANKETS, SOME MORE OF MY CLOTHES, SOME OF MY PERSONAL THINGS, SOME FOOD, AND SOME MONEY. IN WITH MY THINGS WAS A LETTER, I STILL HAVE IT TODAY.

LIZ,
MY DARLING DAUGHTER, I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I KNOW THAT THINGS ARE CRAZY RIGHT NOW, BUT IT’LL GET BETTER. YOUR FATHER IS VERY ANGRY RIGHT NOW, BUT I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT HE LOVES YOU VERY MUCH AS DO I. JUST GIVE SOME TIME TO COOL DOWN AND THEN WE CAN SIT DOWN LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE AND TALK. LIZ, I’M NOT SURE WHAT TO THINK ABOUT THE THINGS THAT I HEARD. I KNOW YOU, BUT I ALSO KNOW WHAT I’VE SEEN IN YOU LATELY. I’VE SEEN THE BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES FROM WHERE YOU DON’T SLEEP, I’VE HEARD YOU GET SICK IN THE MORNINGS, THE CRYING, THE FATIGUE, THE LACK OF ATTENTION, I’VE EVEN SEEN YOUR DIZZY SPELLS. AND SOME OF THESE ARE SIGNS OF PREGNANCY. NOW I DON’T KNOW IF YOU ARE, BUT I’M NOT GOING TO TRY AND JUDGE YOU. YOU’RE A SMART BEAUTIFUL GIRL, AND EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES. I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT. THERE’S NOTHING THAT COULD CHANGE THAT. I GAVE MY NEW CELL NUMBER TO MRS. BEHR BUT JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN’T GET IT IT’S 908-1980. PLEASE CALL ME WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE IF ANYTHING JUST TO LET ME KNOW THAT YOU’RE SAFE. I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART, AND I HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON.



LOVE ALWAYS,

MOM

AS I READ THE LETTER TEARS WERE SPLASHING ON THE PAPER AND SMEARING THE LETTERS, BUT I COULD STILL SEE THE BEAUTIFUL HANDWRITING THAT WAS MY MOTHERS. NOW I CARRY THAT LETTER WITH ME, AND I WILL CHERISH IT ALWAYS.
THE NEXT MORNING I COULDN’T WAIT TILL THE AFTERNOON SO I WENT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING TO THE NEAREST PAYPHONE TO CALL MY MOTHER. ON THE SECOND RING AN OUT OF BREATH VOICE CAME OVER THE LINE AND I COULDN’T STOP THE SMILE THAT SPEAD ACROSS MY FACE IF I TRIED. “MOM?” “OH LIZ SWEETIE! HOW ARE YOU, ARE YOU OKAY, DO YOU NEED ANYTHING, ARE YOU WARM ENOUGH, ARE YOU HUNGRY………?” “MOM, MOM, I’M OKAY JUST CALM DOWN. YES I’M FINE, AND THE BOX THAT YOU SENT ME HELPED ME A LOT THANK YOU!” AS I’M TALKING I CAN HEAR HER TEARS AND I CAN JUST IMAGINE HER SMALL FRAME RACKED WITH SOBS. “MOM, CALM DOWN, IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY.” NOW A MIXTURE OF LAUGHTER AND CRYING COMES THROUGH. “AREN’T I SUPPOSED TO DO THE COMFORTING? OH LIZZY I JUST MISS YOU SO MUCH! DO YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD MEET ME TODAY? YOU DON’T HAVE TO IF YOU DON’T WANT TO, BUT I’D REALLY LIKE TO SEE YOU.” “ I THINK THAT WOULD BE GREAT MOM. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO MEET? IT’S NOT LIKE WE COULD GO TO THE CRASHDOWN OR ANYTHING.” I REMEMBER MY HEART DROPPING AS I SAID THAT JUST KNOWING THAT I WASN’T WELCOME THERE ANYMORE BY MY FATHER WAS HARD TO THINK ABOUT. “WELL, WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO? WE COULD GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT TO. WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO SENIOR CHOW’S?” INSTANTLY I THOUGHT OF MAX AT THE NAME OF SENIOR CHOW’S. “NO. OOOHHHH I KNOW! COULD WE GO TO THAT VIETNAMESE RESTURANT IN HONDO YOU AND I USED TO GO TO?” “SURE HONEY, WE HAVEN’T BEEN THERE IN AGES.”
MY MOTHER WANTED TO PICK ME UP AND SEE WHERE I WAS STAYING, BUT I REFUSED. I DIDN’T WANT HER TO FEEL BAD SO WE FINALLY COMPRIMISED. I WOULD WALK TO THE SCHOOL GROUNDS AFTER SCHOOL WAS OUT AND SHE WOULD MEET ME AND WE COULD GO FROM THERE. I COULDN’T BELIEVE HOW NERVOUS I WAS WHEN I WAS JUST SEEING MY MOTHER, BUT IT HAD BEEN A GOOD MONTH OR SO SINCE I SEEN HER LAST.
SEEING HOW I HAD A WHILE BEFORE I WAS TO MEET MY MOM I FIGURED THAT I NEEDED TO FIND A JOB. I COULDN'T GO ON EXPECTING MY MOM TO GO AROUND SNEEKING AROUND MY DAD, AND I CERTIANLY COULDN'T KEEP LIVING IN MY OH SO LOVELY HOME. HERE I THOUGHT MICHEAL'S PLACE WAS A RANK AND NASTY.
NEVER WOULD I HAVE THOUGHT THAT FINDING A JOB WOULD BE SO HARD. NO WONDER WHY SOME HOMELESS PEOPLE CAN'T GET JOBS. EVERYWHERE I WENT PEOPLE KEPT TURNING ME DOWN. THEY EITHER PEGGED ME FOR A RUNAWAY AND DIDN'T WANT THE TROUBLE OR DIDN'T WANT TO HIRE SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T HAVE A REAL PLACE TO STAY. AFTER A WHILE I LEARNED TO DO SOMETHING I HAD BECOME VERY FAMILIAR WITH, LIE. AFTER GOING TO ALL OF THE PLACES I COULD FIND THAT WERE ACTUALLY HIRING, WE ARE TALKING ABOUT ROSWELL, NEW MEXICO THERE AREN'T THAT MANY PLACES, I HEADED BACK "HOME" AND DECIDED TO WASH UP TO SEE MY MOM.
I HAD BEEN WALKING FOR SOME TIME WHEN I STARTED GETTING REALLY NERVOUS. DIFFERENT SENERIOS WERE PLAYING IN MY MIND ON WHAT SHE'D SAY. ALL I KNEW WAS THAT THE FIRST THING THAT I WANTED TO TELL HER, BESIDES THAT I LOVE HER AND MISS HER, WOULD BE THAT I WASN'T PREGNANT AND THAT I WAS STILL A VIRGIN. NORMALLY THAT WOULDN'T BE SOMETHING THAT I'D JUST TELL HER, BUT I THINK THAT RIGHT NOW IT'S SOMETHING THAT SHE NEEDS TO KNOW. I DON'T HAVE MUCH FARTHER TO GO NOW WHEN I'M BROUGHT OUT OF MY THOUGHTS BY THE BRIGHT RED AND BLUE LIGHTS AND THE PIERCING SOUND OF POLICE SIRENS. AS SOON AS MY EYES CONNECT WITH THE REASON FOR ALL THE COMMOTION A BLOOD CURTILING SCREAM ESCAPES MY ALREADY TREMBLING LIPS.

END PART TWO
AHEAD OF ME WAS MY MOTHER'S CAR AND INSIDE WAS HER MANGALED BODY. ALTHOUGH THE TEMPERATURE OUTSIDE WAS A BLISTERING 95 DEGREES + I HAD NEVER FELT SO COLD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I DON'T THINK THAT ANYTHING COULD HAVE EVER PREPARED ME FOR THAT MOMENT. I START RUNNING TOWARD HER CAR SCREAMING "NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" WHEN A STRONG PAIR OF ARMS HELD ME BACK. I LOOK UP LONG ENOUGH TO REALIZE THAT IT'S VALENTI HOLDING ON TO ME AND I START STRUGGLING ANYWAY. "SHE NEEDS ME, I HAVE TO GO TO HER!" "LIZ, THE AMBULANCE IS ON IT'S WAY. YOU NEED TO LET THEM HELP HER....." BUT THAT'S ALL I REMEMBER AS MY KNEES WENT WEAK AND MY WORLD TURNED BLACK.
THE NEXT THING THAT I KNEW I WOKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL CONFUSED AND ALONE. THEN IT ALL CAME CRASHING BACK TO ME. "MOM!" I UNHOOKED THE WIRES FROM MY BODY AND RAN DOWN THE HALL. IN MY RUSH TO FIND MY MOTHER I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE THAT I WAS IN A HOSPITAL GOWN. IT WAS A GOOD THING THAT IT WAS REALLY BIG BECAUSE THEN EVERYONE WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SEE MY ASS HANGING OUT. EVEN THOUGH THAT WASN'T WHAT I WAS CARING ABOUT, AND I KNOW THAT IT WAS A BIG GOWN, I'M SURE QUITE A FEW PEOPLE GOT AN EYE FULL.
AFTER FINALLY FINDING THE NURSES STATION AND EXPLAINING TO THEM THAT I WAS FINE I FINALLY FOUND MY MOTHER. WHILE WALKING TO MY MOTHER'S ROOM I PAUSED AND LOOKED AT THE HEART MONATORS AND ONE BY ONE THE WERE GOING FLAT. WHEN I WALKED IN SHE WAS UNCONCIOUS AND MY FATHER WAS ALREADY BY HER SIDE AND HOLDING HER HAND. I THOUGHT THAT WITH EVERYTHING THAT HAD HAPPENED THAT HE WOULD WELCOME ME IN, BUT AS USUAL I WAS WRONG. INSTEAD OF A TEARFUL WELCOME HIS HEAD SNAPPED UP AND PIERCED ME WITH AN ICY GLARE I'VE NEVER SEEN MY FATHER USE. THAT LOOK MADE MY HEART BREAK EVEN MORE. THANKFULLY BEFORE HE COULD EVEN SAY ANYTHING TO ME VALIENTI TOOK ME BY THE ARM AND LED ME TO THE HALL.
GIVING ME A GOOD LOOK OVER HE IMEDIATELY TOOK OFF HIS JACKET AND WRAPED ME IN IT. IT WAS THEN I REALIZED WHAT I WAS WEARING. I GAVE HIM A GREATFUL SMILE AS A BLUSH CREEPED ONTO MY CHEEKS. VALIENTI NOTICED MY EMBARASSMENT AND QUICKLY GOT TO THE POINT. "LIZ, I'M NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU. YOU'RE MOTHER IS IN CRITICAL CONDITION AND IS CURRENTLY IN A COMA." AT THE TIME THE ONLY THING THAT I COULD THINK OF WAS THAT MY MOTHER WAS HURT. MY MOTHER WAS HURT BECAUSE SHE WAS COMING TO SEE ME, AND THAT IT WAS ALL MY FAULT. AS MY BRAIN STARTED TO FUNCTION AGAIN I ASKED A QUESTION I HAD BEEN WONDERING SINCE I HAD FIRST LAID EYES ON HER. "WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE...LIKE SOMEONE SLASHED HER THROAT?" THE WORDS WERE SO THICK I COULD BARELY GET THEM OUT. "LIZ, SHE LOST CONTROL OF HER CAR CAUSING HER TO SLIDE OF THE ROAD AND MAKE HER CAR FLIP A FEW TIMES BEFORE LANDING. THAT MARK ON HER NECK IS FROM WHERE SHE WAS KNOCKED OUT LEANING FORWARD AND THE SEAT BELT LOCKED AND CUT OFF THE OXYGEN TO HER BRAIN." AS SOON AS HE FINISHED TELLING ME THIS MY NASUEA RETURNS AND I SPRINT TO THE BATHROOM. AFTER I PURGED EVERYTHING THAT WAS IN MY STOMACH I TIRED TO GO THROUGH EVERYTHING THAT VALIENTI TOLD ME. THE SEAT BELT CUT OFF HER OXYGEN AND SHE WAS IN A COMA, IT DIDN'T SOUND TOO GOOD. FROM WHAT I KNEW IF THE OXYGEN WAS BLOCKED FOR TOO LONG SHE'D EITHER NEVER WAKE UP OR BE A VEGETABLE FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE. I WASN'T WILLING TO LET EITHER ON HAPPEN.
AS I WALKED BACK INTO THE HALL I SEEN A FEW DOCTOR'S AND NURSES FLY PAST ME AND RIGHT INTO MY MOTHER'S ROOM. TIME WENT IN SLOW MOTION AS I CAME ACROSS HER ROOM AND WATCH AS THE DOCTOR'S FERVENTLY PERFORMED CPR AND CHEST COMPRESSIONS TRYING TO START HER FAILING HEART. I STOOD AND WATCHED IN HORROR AS THEY USED PADDLES ON HER BODY LIKE THEY WERE JUMPNG A CAR. AFTER WHAT SEEMED LIKE AN ETERNITY THEY STABALIZED HER. BY NOW I'M GRASPING AT STRAWS ON WHAT TO DO. THEN SUDDENLY I FOUND MY ANSWER, "MAX". ON MY WAY TO THE PHONE I RAN INTO VALIENTI AND TOLD HIM WHAT I WAS GOING TO DO. "MAX! HE'S ANSWER! I KNOW HE HATES ME, BUT HE CAN'T LET SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPPEN!" BY NOW I'M RAMBLING AND DESPERATE. "LIZ...I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS...I...I ALREADY TRIED THAT AND I COULDN'T GET AHOLD OF HIM." "I HAVE TO AT LEAST TRY...." BUT THAT'S ALL I GOT OUT AS THE DOCTORS RUSHED PAST YET ONCE AGAIN.
AS I RAN TO CATCH UP I STOPPED RIGHT IN THE DOORWAY AS THEY AGAIN DID CPR AND CHEST COMPRESSIONS. TIME WAS FLYING BY AS THE DOCTORS WERE TRYING OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO RESTART HER HEART. I STOOD IN HORROR AS HER LIFELESS BODY WAS FLAILING IN THE AIR AS THEY USED THE ELECTRIC PADDLES ONCE AGAIN. AND THEN IT HAPPENED. THE HEART MONITORS WENT FLAT AND GAVE OFF THE SOUND OFF DEATH AS I HEARD ONE DOCTOR SAY, "TIME OF DEATH...13:30 HOURS." THE COLDNESS THAT I HAD FELT EARILER WAS BACK AND IT WAS STRONGER THAN EVER. "MOM!!!" I SCREAMED AS I RAN PAST EVERYONE AND INTO THE LIFELESS ARMS OF MY MOTHER. I STARTED TO GIVE MOUTH TO MOUTH AND DO THE COMPRESSIONS IMMEDIATELY AND WAS SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY. AS SOON AS THE DOCTORS SEEN THIS THEY TRIED TO REMOVE ME FROM THE ROOM. "NO! LEAVE ME! LEAVE ME!!! SHE CAN'T DIE, I NEED HER THERE'S STILL SO MUCH WE HAVE TO DO TOGETHER!" "I'M SORRY MISS. PARKER, BUT SHE'S GONE." RIGHT BEFORE THEY WENT ON WITH THEIR SPEECH THAT I'M SURE THEY GAVE SO MANY MY FATHER COMES BARRELING AT ME. "YOU LITTLE BITCH! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! DON'T YOU THINK THAT I KNOW WHAT YOU DID? WHAT YOU MADE YOUR MOTHER DO? YOU'RE THE REASON THAT SHE WAS DRIVING THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. BECASUE OF YOU SHE WAS DRIVING AND BECAUSE OF YOU SHE'S DEAD!" FOR THE SECOND TIME THAT DAY MY KNEES BUCKLED, BUT THIS TIME THE DARK VOID THAT I WAS SO DESPERATELY HOPING FOR...THAT I CRAVED DIDN'T COME FOR ME. INSTEAD IT LEFT ME THERE TO LAY IN MY MISERY AND MY GUILT. I FELT VALIENTI PICK ME UP AND CRADLE ME IN HIS ARMS, BUT THEY WEREN'T WHAT I NEEDED. AS MUCH AS HE TRIED HIS ARMS COULDN'T PRODUCE THE COMFORT THAT I WAS DYING TO HAVE, AND AT THAT MOMENT I REALIZED, OF ALL THE THINGS THAT MY FATHER HAS ACCUSED ME OF IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS, THIS IS THE ONLY ONE THAT WAS TRUE. MY MOTHER WAS DEAD, AND IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.
WELL, DON'T YOU WISH YOU WERE ME??? LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT MORE, AND THEN YOU CAN REALLY BE JEALOUS. TIME PASSED AND THINGS GOT WORSE. ALMOST EVERYONE WAS STILL MAD AT ME AND TESS WAS CLOSER THAN EVER TO MAX. IT SEEMED LIKE THE WORSE THINGS GOT FOR ME THE MORE MAX & TESS HUNG OUT TOGETHER. AT LEAST MARIA AND THE OTHERS SEEMED TO NOT LIKE HER STILL, BUT I NEVER KNEW SINCE I WAS NEVER INCLUDED. EVEN ALEX LEFT FOR SWEDEN ON A FOREIGN EXCHANGE PROGRAM WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE. I GUESS YOU CAN SAY THAT I EXPECTED THAT AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAD HAPPENED, BUT WHAT I DIDN'T EXPECT WAS WHAT MY FATHER DID.
AT NIGHT WHEN I WAS REALLY MISSING MY MOM I WOULD SNEAK BACK INTO MY OLD ROOM TO FEEL THE COMFORT OF WHEN SHE WAS THERE. THERE WERE TIMES THAT I WOULD CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP HOLDING HER PICTURE AND CLINGING ONTO THE NECKLACE THAT SHE HAD GIVEN ME. ONE OF THE TIMES THAT I HAD STAYED OVER I WOKE UP EARLY TO SNEAK AROUND AND GET SOMETHING OF HERS WHEN I WAS STOPPED BY LAUGHTER, BUT IT WASN'T MY FATHER'S LAUGH THAT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD, IT WAS THE SOUND OF A WOMANS THAT FILLED ME WITH ANGER AND BROUGHT FRESH TEARS TO MY EYES. AS I PEAKED AROUND THE CORNER I SAW IT. SITTING AT THE KITCHEN TABLE WAS MY FATHER AND ANOTHER WOMAN IN THEIR ROBES LAUGHING OVER THEIR MORNING COFFEE. THERE WAS NO MISTAKE ON WHAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS. HIS HAND WAS HIGH ON HER THIGH WHILE SHE WAS CARESSING HIS FACE THE WAY LOVERS DO. THEY WEREN'T JUST TALKING AND LAUGHING LIKE FRIENDS. THE WAY THAT THEY LOOKED AT EACHOTHER WAS THE WAY MY MOM & DAD WERE TOGETHER, THE WAY THAT MAX USED TO LOOK AT ME. AFTER TAKING A FEW DEEP BREATHS I CALMED MYSELF ENOUGH TO SNEAK INTO MY FATHER'S ROOM TO GRAB SOME OF MY MOM'S THINGS AND RUN OUT OF THE HOUSE. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. MY MOM DIED NOT EVEN A FEW MONTHS AGO AND HE'S ALREADY SLEEPING WITH SOME WOMAN! HE OBVIOUSLY HAS GOTTEN OVER THAT REAL FAST AND HAS MOVED ON.
RUNNING THROUGH THE STREETS OF ROSWELL I SAW HIM WITH THE ISABEL AND TESS. I DESPERATELY TRIED TO STOP MY TEARS FROM FALLING AND WIPE THEM AWAY, BUT IT WAS TOO LATE MAX SAW ALL OF IT. ISABEL LOOKED SORRY FOR A SECOND AND THEN TURNED INTO HER USUAL ICE QUEEN, WHICH I WASN'T TOO SHOCKED ABOUT. BUT MAX HAD A LOOK OF CONCERN ON HIS FACE, AS SOON AS IT APPEARED TESS NOTICED I WAS THERE AND GRABBED MAX'S HAND LACING THEIR FINGERS AND LED THEM AWAY. I KNOW THAT MAX HATED ME, BUT THE LOOK OF CONCERN TURNED TO NOTHING BUT A BLANK STARE AND HE JUST WENT AWAY. THIS IS MAX WERE TALKING ABOUT, MAX IS THE KIND OF GUY WHO NO MATTER IF HE'S MAD AT YOU OR JUST DOESN'T LIKE YOU HE'D ALWAYS HELP YOU OUT IF HE COULD. THAT'S JUST THE WAY HE IS, BUT APPARENTLY THAT DIDN'T APPLY TO ME ANYMORE. RIGHT AS I WAS ABOUT TO TURN THE OPPOSITE WAY DOWN THE STREET TESS TURNED AROUND AND GAVE ME A SMUG LOOK WHILE MOUTHING THE WORD "MINE". YOU HAVE NO CLUE AS TO HOW BADLY I JUST WANTED TO MARCH UP THERE AND SLAP THE LOOK OFF HER FACE, ALIEN POWERS OR NO ALIEN POWERS. HAVE I MENTIONED TO YOU HOW MUCH I HATE HER? WELL, IF I HAVEN'T LET ME TELL YA. I DO!!! AND I DON'T HATE ANYONE. HATE IS A VERY STRONG WORD JUST LIKE LOVE. AND I'M THE KIND OF PERSON WHO DOESN'T SAY THOSE THINGS UNLESS I REALLY MEAN THEM. I ALSO DON'T THINK THAT YOU SHOULD HATE ANYONE, BUT I THINK THAT TESS IS THE EXCEPTION. COME ON, REALLY, DON'T YOU? THAT BLEACH BLONDE, FAKE BOOBED, LIFE DESTROYING BITCH! WHEW, I FEEL A LITTLE BETTER.

END OF PART THREE