posted on 7-Aug-2002 9:11:13 AM by Jiggers
Title: Circle Of Life
Rating: Pg13 at the momment
Cat: AU ... M/L
AN: This is only the beginning - It's got references to Magick and Wicca in it (which I'm just beginning to study so if there are inconsistancies yeah blame it on ignorance) ... if that offends you read no further. Please tell me if this is any good. I wrote it not with Roswell in mind originally but re-reading it I see so much I can do with Roswell in this ... sooo let me know please


I close my eyes and breath in the fresh air of the ocean before me.

“Liz!”

I hear my name being called and I ignore it, knowing that my moment of peace and serenity is soon to be broken.

She comes up beside me, sits down, not caring that I don’t want her here.

“Liz, please – just talk to me.”

I glance in her direction but stay silent.

“Liz you can’t not talk to me, remember in 10th grade when you got mad at me and threaten to never talk to me again, it lasted about 4 hours.”

She was trying to be light hearted, but I wasn’t amused.

I kept my eyes transfixed on the ocean, taking it all in, watching the waves rush forward into a battle against the sand then retreat with an awareness that I can’t fathom.

“Liz!”

She says it with unmasked tears this time, I want to look at her and tell her I forgive her, that it will be ok.

I continue to gaze at the sand. I can’t even look at her.

“Liz, I’m sorry ok, please at least look at me.”

I look over at her and my heartstrings tug at the look in her eyes, but she, she’d betrayed me. And it all hurt so badly.

“Lizzie” the male voice booms behind us and I can’t take it anymore.

“I can’t take this anymore.” I mumble and get up from my comfortable perch amidst the sand dunes.

“Lizzie” He says again, and I can’t look at him.

“No, don’t bother, you two can have each other.”

I get up and break out into a run down the beach. I run faster than I ever have before. I hear them calling out for me.

I keep running till the air in my lungs isn’t sufficient enough to keep me going and the lactic acid begins seeping into my muscles letting me know I’m going to be in pain tomorrow.

I collapse in the ground with tears threatening to spill over. My breathing is erratic and I’m trying to get my body, mind and heart under control. My efforts are failing miserably

I lay back on the sand and the cool moon shines down on me. It enraptures me and I breathe it in.

“Goddess,” I cry, “give me strength.”

I close my eyes and feel the wind swarm around me, my breathing slows and I put my mind at ease, silently chanting my prayer.

I feel the cleansing presence of salt in the air, and the need to be purified claims me.

I slowly get up and strip off my clothes, I trace the scar across my stomach with my finger then I take off running towards the ocean.

Diving into the cool water thrills me as I begin to swim out as far as possible. Minutes turn into hours and the salt begins to consume me. I make it to a sandbar and stand up basking in the moonlight.

I stretch slowly and look around; I can faintly see the shoreline.

Suddenly a chill creeps down my spine, and I hear her voice in my head “LIZ!”

I dive back into the water and swim as fast as I can. I reach the shore and grab my clothes, I take off running in the direction I came. I feel a trained eye on me but I ignore it. Tess is in trouble, and I can’t ignore that.

----

I’m sitting on the porch of my uncle’s old beach house, watching the waves, I feel the ocean signing to me and I want to take a swim. Her muffled breathing from the next room stops me, and once again, I’m sobered, by responsibility.

I feel the air around me change and out of the corner of my eye I see figure down on the beach.

My breath catches in my throat as I see her collapse on the ground. I start to get up to help her, when she gets up herself and strips off all her clothes.

I know I should look away, but she’s mesmerizing, like a siren luring me to betray. Her dark hair falls to the small of her back and I can almost see the chocolate of her eyes.

It’s crazy, but somehow I know her eyes are dark. And her body is perfection, I have to fight the urge to run out to the beach and claim her.

She’s graceful as she plunges into the ocean, seemingly not noticing my sudden interest.

I watch her swim out to a sandbar. She moves like a cat, and I can’t find the words to describe the emotions consuming me. Lust, hunger, protectiveness and some others that actually scared me.

I can’t make out her facial expressions from this distance, but her body suddenly goes rigid, and my brow creases instinctively. I want to take away what ever is causing her worry.

She hurriedly dives back into the water like she was made to do so, and I watch with a trained her movements. She grabs her clothes and carelessly begins to put them on as she runs out of my life as quickly as she came into it.

I let out the breath that I didn’t know I’d been holding.

I hear the crying coming from inside the house and my fixation on the girl slowly disappearing in the distance is broken.

I walk into the house, put my arms around her and stroke her hair soothingly.

My mind, heart, body, soul are still consumed with the dark beauty from the beach.

____

I run back to the beach house that we had rented out over the summer. I can feel them before I can see them.

“Liz!” I look at Maria and I know she sees the shadow of pain in my eyes, and I silently curse myself for the weakness.

“Where is Tess?” I ask her finally.

“I don’t know, she left right after you did. Why, what’s”

Suddenly I feel as if I’ve been punched in the stomach. I double over in pain and gasp. “Tess.”

I slow my breathing an concentrate on my sister. “Tess where are you?”

I feel her reaching out to me and Michael puts a hand on my shoulder. I shrug his hand off and I can almost feel the concerned look that he and Maria share.

I take off running again, knowing that tomorrow is going to be hell on my muscles but not caring because this is my sister.

I edge near the large sand dune and can feel Tess's fear where I stand.

“Goddess, protect your daughters with your strength, give me grace, give me truth. Keep us safe.”

I take a deep breath and walk up to the top of the dune. Looking down I have to restraint myself from leaping at the two men leering at my sister.

“Excuse me.” I say with mockery.

They look at me, and then back at Tess.

“Wow, A Party?” The tall blonde one says.

“Here to crash it.” I tell him sweetly.

He leers at me and his friend snarls, “Enjoy it you mean.”

Just then Maria and Michael come up behind me and I smile down at the two who’ve tied up my sister.

I feel the power crackle around us and silently I ask for protection again. I look down at Tess and will her bonds to be unwoven.

Within seconds she’s up and ready to fight with us.

The two men are confused, not that I blame them. Magick is hard to understand, people don’t want to believe that it’s real, that it flows through our veins.

I create an illusion with my mind, and the two men run off in terror.

Tess runs to me and we throw our arms around each other.

“Why didn’t you use your magick?”

Maria asks her.

I glare at Maria, she should know why.

Tess says nothing, and I give her a reassuring squeeze.

See Tess and I are fraternal twins, our spirits, souls and our magick are bound together. My magic is strong because she refuses to use hers, for reasons only she can explain.

Tess pulls back her light blonde hair, it’s not quite as long as mine – which comes down to the small of my back – into a pony tail.

“Are you ok?” Michael asks her.

I glare at him and she nods her head yes in response.

I push aside the tears threatening to well up as he takes Maria's hand. I turn around to look at them and he quickly drops her hand. I see the hurt in her eyes and the guilt in his.

I take Tess back to the beach house, we go up to her room.

She looks at me.

“What?” I ask curtly.

“What’s wrong?” She asks me with that concerned look.

“Nothing” I lie through my teeth.

She gives me that look, you know the one, its like the look my mother used to give me when I claimed innocence in the kitchen mess fiasco.

“Liz, just tell me. You know you can’t hide your grief from me.”

“Michael and Maria. They betrayed me.”

Tess looks at me knowingly.

“YOU KNEW?” I scream at her.

“Yes and No. I could feel their love for each other, but I didn’t know they had acted on it.”

I looked at her, mouth hung open, unable to speak.

“How could you not tell me?”

She looks away. “I figured you’d felt it too, but were just too stubborn to give up Michael."

“Stubborn?”

“Don’t try to lie to me and tell me you were in love with him!”

“I love him!” I shouted at her.

“But your not in love with him. Michael was convenient for you Liz, don’t try to deny that. I know you.”

Her voice was calm and soothing. I wanted to run again. Leave this place and become one with the wind, or the ocean. I didn’t care I just wanted out of there again.

“Just like you denying your power is convenient for you.”

She looks at me with wide eyes.

“Tess, It wasn’t your fault, you know that.”

I look down at my hands knowing I’d hurt her, and my heart hurt because of it.

Feeling her seething, I decided to leave before she told me to.

I walk slowly down the stairs, expecting to find Maria and Michael in a heated embrace.

Tess was right, though I wouldn’t admit it. I did love Michael, he was my best friend, but I wasn’t in love with him.

Maria looked up as I walk out on the porch she’s on the swing.

"Liz, I … I’m so sorry. I’ll never look at him again, talk to him. I just can’t loose you. You’re my best friend.”

“No.”

I see her head fall.

“You can’t betray love.”

“But Liz, you are my best friend.”

“And I always will be. These wounds are fresh, but they will heal. Tell Michael I love him.”

She looks at me sadly, knowing what I mean.

“I’m going for a walk.”

“But those guys, and you’ve worn yourself out.”

I smile at her.

“I’ll manage.”

She smiles back at me. I see Michael approaching us from the water.

He looks at me with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry Liz. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I …”

I place a finger over his lips to silence him.

“shhh …” I say through salty tears, “Its ok.”

I lightly kiss him on the cheek and continue my journey down the shoreline.

___

I was sitting on the beach.

She was asleep and would stay that way for a while.

My jeans were soaked but I didn’t care. I had my knees drawn up to my chest, and I felt so empty.

It had been so long since I’d felt anything that the emptiness was unnoticeable.

But now, after that siren slipped into my view, the façade of no emotion was shattered.

I hear soft footsteps padding down the shore and I look up.

My breath catches in my throat, the moonlight makes her glow, she’s at home on the sea bed, with the moon swimming around her.

She’s a Ethereal dream, I close my eyes, wondering if I’m having a vision. I open them again and now she’s noticed me.

I can feel her, she’s intrigued by me.

Our eyes lock together and I get lost in her chocolate depths.

I get up slowly and her eyes dance in amusement. I’m bewitched.

She’s the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen in my entire 21 years.

She takes a step towards me and I can’t move.

___

I was walking aimlessly down the beach when I felt him.

It was a presence much like the one I’d felt while swimming earlier.

I looked down the beach and saw him, eyes to the water, knees drawn up to his chest. He looked childlike. And I could literally feel the swell of emotions stirring around him.

He looked at me and I felt captured.

He moved to stand and I was amazed by his grace. He was tall, with dark hair just barely covering his amber eyes – were mesmerizing. His body was lean, near perfection – he was an Adonis.

But his eyes fixated on mine is what made me step forward.

I could see the beads of sweat falling from his brow and I smiled, knowing that I was affecting him as much as he was me. It was a cold night.

I continued to walk towards him he was within my reach.

He wasn’t much taller than me, but I felt scrutinized under his gaze, then his eyes changed and I felt worshipped.

‘Oh Goddess’ I thought to myself.

I had to touch him. I couldn’t think clearly with him so near.

I reached out and put my palm to his cheek, he leaned into my hand. An electrical current surged through my body when his lips moved to kiss my palm.

I looked searchingly into his eyes and I saw the conformation that he had felt it too.

_____

She was right there next to me and I cold smell the sweet jasmine of her perfume and the blissful smell of the ocean in her hair.

She reached out to cup my cheek and without thinking I leaned into her hand.

I never took my eyes off her and I slowly turned and kissed her palm.

My heart was beating so fast, I thought I was going to die, but it didn’t matter, cause at this moment I was happy.

I felt the current go through my body and I closed my eyes savoring in her touch.

She was standing so near I couldn’t think clearly.

“What’s your name” she said breathless.

I looked at her. “Max.”

Her eyes sprung up to mine and she smiled.

I waited for her answer.

“Liz. My name is Liz,” she said as if hearing my unspoken question.

Before I knew what I was doing I crushed her body to mine and pressed my lips against hers.

______

He looked at me and I had to know him.

“What’s your name” I asked breathless.

He looked back at me and said “Max.”

My breath caught in my throat for reasons I can’t explain, after hearing that I just knew somehow, that he was mine.

I knew he was waiting for me to tell him my name so I looked up at him.

“Liz. My name is Liz.” I said with a smile.

He smiled down at me and then his eyes turned dark with desire, I almost moaned from the look alone he was giving me.

Suddenly his body was pressed against mine and he was kissing me like I’d never been kissed before.

I snaked my arms around his neck and moaned. I ran my tongue across his lips asking for entrance into his mouth.

He gladly received me and our tongues danced. I could feel him penetrating my spirit.

His soul was dancing with mine. He was filled with untapped Magick and I could feel it.

His hands were running up and down my sides and I couldn’t get enough.


TBC????

[ edited 7 time(s), last at 29-Sep-2002 8:44:43 PM ]
posted on 7-Aug-2002 11:01:32 AM by Jiggers
This is a shameless bump cause I'm very very nervous about this story ...
posted on 7-Aug-2002 5:28:15 PM by Jiggers
MoonLily that's what I was wondering ... *happy* j/k

MaryJean You know I'm going to make you beta for this fic too *happy* I just had reworked this part at least 8 times so I figured it was as good as it was gonna get

salonica THANKYOU!!!

CEO Shaft We shall see where wicca takes me ... but I love reading about the Goddess and the spells ... just got my 2nd book into day "Spiral Dance" By Starhawk. It's so interesting. I'm so ansty waiting for the others to arrive.

majesty You always have to take time out to read, it's in the roswell fanfic rule book ... I swear!!!

mpls muse Really? I personally think this is one of the best pieces of fiction I have ever written, but I am my own worst critic ... soo ... yeah ...

Dia You are too good to me. Thank you. Michael and Maria had that going on for a reason. I mean where would Max be if Liz tried to fight for Michael?? lol ...

JDreamer Amazing??? :blush: Thank you

---

I'm really surprised I didn't have any comments on Tess being Liz's fraternal twin ... lol ...

I will hopefully have a part up within the week.

Thank you all soo much... this is my new baby next to Let Me IN. I'm going to be very particular about it.

Lovies

Gin - aka - Jiggaz
posted on 11-Aug-2002 10:29:23 AM by Jiggers
thanks for reading *happy*
posted on 11-Aug-2002 11:02:08 AM by Jiggers
This is no where near as long as the first part. But I wanted to get it out. I didn't send this to my beta. Cause I was basically begged to post the next part asap *happy* lol ... but next parts may take longer so I can send them to Mary Jean *happy*


Part two

I pull back from his warm embrace to catch my breath. But I can only stare into his beautiful amber eyes.

So many emotions are running through my soul, and his taste still electrifies my scenes.

We just continue to look at each other. His eyes, goddess, those eyes are melting my very essence.

Everything that had happened today is gone from my mind, only this beautiful stranger enraptures my thoughts.

___

She pulls back, for air. We stay very still. Watching each other.

I’m so lost in her chocolate depths. She’s the perfection I’ve been seeking. Not perfect in the eyes of the world persay, but perfect for me, to be with me.

I know it seems crazy, all I know about her is her name, but everything I am belongs to her now.

“MAAAXX” I hear a shrill cry come from the beach house. I tear my eyes away from this siren and look up to the porch.

___

I hear his name being called. Some odd emotion runs through my body, making me shiver.

His eyes leave mine and I follow his gaze to the porch of the beach house.

Oh Goddess NO!

There standing on the porch is a beautiful blonde, A beautiful very pregnant blonde.

“Maxxxx” She calls again.

Jealousy flows through me like fire scorching my skin, down to my bones I feel it.

I’ve just found him.

He looks back at me, and I try to hide the emotions from my eyes.

I can’t move. I want to run away but his eyes capture me in my place.

____

I can’t tell what she’s thinking.

She looks as if she’s going to bolt any second.

“Liz.” Her name rolls off my tongue like a perfect wave hitting the warm sand.

She turns and begins to walk away from me.

I want to scream at her not to go. That she’s misunderstood. But my name being utters stops me.

Responsibility once again reigns on my desires.

My siren runs away from me, with an elegance that I can’t even describe.

___

I couldn’t stay there any longer. I was intruding. We were swept up in the moment. And He just got lost.

His wife, or girlfriend, she needed him. She was pregnant.

Once I’m sure that I’m out of his line of sight I collapse into a sand dune, I can’t stop the tears from flowing.

“Tess” I cry out in my mind. I curl up into a ball, wishing my feelings away, wishing it didn’t hurt so bad.

What felt like hours later I felt my sisters arms around me.

“Tess.” I cried.

“You found him.” She says into my hair.

“What?” I ask with intrest, even through my tears.

“Your muirn beatha dans”

With her words I want to cry. My soul mate. The one person in this world I can ever find happiness with.

And he’s with someone else.

“How did you …”

“I felt it coming.” She responds softly.

Tess has this gift that even I don’t understand. She can feel when something’s going to happen. It’s like a clear picture in her head. Visions if you will. Both of us can feel emotions radiating off of people, and we are uniquely intoned to each other.

“There was a woman there, Tess, a pregnant woman, calling his name like he was her lifeline. But when he kissed me I didn’t feel like there was anyone else.”

I cry in her arms.

“I don’t even know him. How can this hurt this bad?” I ask her.

I feel her shake her head above me and tighten her grip on my arms.

____

“Isabel. Are you ok?” I ask her.

She waddles back into the house and lays down dramatically on her bed.

“Who was that woman?” She asks coldly.

“It doesn’t matter.” I lie to her.

“Are you ok?” I ask again.

“Yeah can you get me some water.”

I sigh, knowing she could have gotten the water herself. And my heart is calling out for my siren. My Liz.

____

Tess and I walk slowly back to our beach house.

Maria sees my tear filled eyes and rushes to my side.

“Are you ok?” She asks concerned.

I don’t have the energy to pretend that I’m still overly mad at her so I just nod my head no.

“What happened?” Michael comes up behind Maria, with tissue in his hands. He was always intoned to me as well.

I break down and cry again and Michael puts his strong arms around me. Comfort is all I feel. Nothing like when Max had his arms around me.

Why did I make Michael suffer for two years? I knew he wasn’t in love with me. Tess is right I’m just a stubborn selfish bitch.

“No sis, your not.” Tess remarks as is hearing my thoughts. Which she probably did?

I look in her eyes, looking for a shred of doubt, finding none I fall back into My best friends embrace.

“Michael take her to her room.” I hear Maria say.

Within seconds I’m scooped up in Michael’s arms and taken up stairs to my room.

He gently lays me on my bed and wipes the tears from my cheek.

“Lizzie, what ever it is. It will be ok.”

“Oh Goddess it won’t.” I cry.

He holds me longer until Maria and Tess shoo him out of the room.

“What happened?” Maria asks.

I can’t speak. I just lay my head in Tess’s lap as she strokes my hair soothingly.

“She met him. Her muirn beatha dans.” Tess says simply.

Maria squeezes my hand and I feel her comfort and understanding run through me.

Soon I drift off into a un-peaceful slumber. Tess is still stroking my hair softly.

posted on 29-Sep-2002 7:50:20 PM by Jiggers
I'm in the misdt of writing a new part *happy*
posted on 29-Sep-2002 8:43:46 PM by Jiggers
Part Three

I awake in my room. I’m alone. I see the incense burning on my nightstand. The moon is full and I slowly get up and take off my clothes.

I go to my closet and find my navy blue cloak and wrap the silky material around my body.

I gather my supplies and head out to the shore. Setting up my altar near the flowing waves. Placing everything I need on my stone altar.

I say a quick spell and the candles ignite. Carefully I draw the circle and step into it, and close it.

On my knees I sit in front of my altar, each candle is at one of the five points on the pentacle. Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Spirit.

“Diana, Goddess of the Moon, be my guide.”

I slow my breathing, and let the sage fill my nostrils.

I visualize a triple circle of purplish light around my body and chant. “I am protected by your might, O gracious Goddess, day and night.”

I continue to breathe allowing her protection and her power to flow through me.

Next I visualize a circle of light around me. It encompasses my entire being.

I pick up the black stone and cup it in my hands; slowly I raise it to my forehead. I think about everything that has happened in the past few days, I project all my negative emotions and anger into the stone.

I hurl the stone into the ocean with all my might while whispering, “With this stone, Anger be gone. Water bind it, No one find it.”

I close the circle and gather up my supplies.

Walking back towards the house I see Tess watching me from the porch.

“Are you ok?” She asks.

I nod and take her hand. We walk into the kitchen where Michael is cooking dinner.

I can hear Maria’s voice from below us; she’s singing her praise to her Goddess of choice, Athena.

I head back up stairs to redress then join the others in the kitchen. We eat and chat quietly. And I can tell my anger spell is working. I don’t know how I didn’t see the signs that they were in love.

The way he looks at her.

It makes me ache for … Max …

But I can’t think about him.

___

She’s talking to me but I cannot listen. My entire body is on fire.

“Isabel!” I scream at her.

She looks at me startled.

“Max, don’t scream at me.” She glares in my direction.

“Isabel just shut up please. I know your not feeling well, but there is nothing I can do about it. Your not in labor so no hospital, there is nothing I can do.” I sigh frustrated.

“God Max, What the hell is your problem.”

I shake my head at her.

“Nothing.”

“Who was that girl you were with on the beach.”

“her name is Liz.” I sigh once again wanting her to go away.

“Ok so who is she?”

“I don’t know, okay. If you hadn’t interrupted me I could have found out where she lived. But you always have to have your way!”

“Max, you know I can’t take care of myself.”

“Yes I know Isabel. You know I love you, but it’s not my fault your in this situation. You’re my sister and I’m here for you, but that woman Isabel I can’t explain it, but I can feel her in my soul now.”

I lower my head.

“Whatever Max.” And she gets up and waddles away.

I sit and breathe.

“My heart has found you once, let me find you again.” I whisper to myself.

I only hope that I find her.