Title: I AM
Summary: I'm corny you could say when it comes to writing a summary so I think I'll keep my short cute mouth shut. plz read to find out Story line.
Rating: R for course launguage.
Authors note: hope ya like.
disclaimer: I own nothing.*big*

mostly Liz's POV

When I look in the mirror I see me. lost. confused. wishing I could just die most of the time. but there is a difference between wishing you were dead and actually trying to make it happen. I would never kill myself. why you ask. There are to many people I have yet to met, to many people to make feel uncomfortable to many people to put down. that's my knew found philosophy on life. My goals are to make Isaslut and her prissy little ho's lives living hells along with Michael Guerin and Max Evan's of course. I got an A+++ in English my teacher says I write like I've lived before and it scares her. Spiders and anything with more than two legs scare her, so it doesn't take much. I sighed and turned my attention back to my novel Prozac nation just as some blonde in a mini skirt sits next to me and attempts to start up a conversation. Obviously she doesn't know who I am.
"Watchcha reading" she asks. I keep my eyes locked on my book and refuse to answer. Hopefully she takes the hint and leaves me the fuck alone "Prozac nation don't believe I have ever read that book..... I'm Maria Deluca by the way. I'm new here".
"No shit" I hiss looking at her from the corner of my eye.
"What's you name?" She asks curiously.
"Why do you want to know my name" I snap viscously at her.
"Cause I got no friends. And correct me if I'm wrong but you seem to have one less than that. I just though that maybe..." Before she can finish her emmy award winning speech the blonde gerbil known as Tess appears with a sick and twisted smile on her face. Gerbil. Cheerleader. Slut. Mmmm need I say more.
"Awww... Parker...... Are you trying to seduce new students again?" She whines in that high pitched voice that makes you just wanna turn around and punch her "I'm Tess Harding! Welcome to West Roswell high".
"Thanks" Maria cringes shaking the blondes hand. It's a wonder she can get around all that jewelry.
"Hey" Tess says looking at me observantly as she curls one of her golden ringlets in her fingers. I'm calling her observant "don't you just love how Parker accessories black into her outfit".
"Shut up gutter slut" I growl trying my best to look threatening. Tess simply brushes me off and looks away.
"Now don't go and set a bad example for your people..." Tess smiles. Maria is looking at me in confusion.
"What people?" She asks.
"I hope your not a violent lesbian like your new found friend here" Tess says pointing to me. Tess. What kind of name is Tess? It sounds like it's been chewed up and spat out because it's fattening and unhealthy for the human body. But then again Tess is hailed as goddess in this school. Her and Isaslut. But look at the similarities. Both are blonde. Dogs. Plastic.
"Um no I'm not..." She hesitates. I'm uncomfortable. And to think I thought for a fraction of a second that she was different. She's just like the rest of them. A lamb to the slaughter. Their all lambs.
"Awww that's to bad" Tess's pouts getting up off her seat beside her. Mary or Marie or whatever. "Looks like you'll just have to keep on looking for Miss right, Parker!".
"Fuck off Bottle job" I snap grabbing my things and pushing past her towards the school. Poeple are lame. People are overrated. I don't even get high school.
"Parker" I look around and it's the blondness herself. No thank you new girl I think as I try to stomp off towards science so maybe I can have piece and quite. People suck "hey Parker".
"What the hell do you want?" I snap looking her dead in the eyes.
"I just wanted...." She stops herself and looks at me with sympathetically "I didn't know you were a Leisbian... To tell you the truth I've never meet one before. Been out long? I think it's very impressive that you ......."she is babbling. Me being me observes that she is either nervous or uncomfortable. Right now I'm neither. Just annoyed.
"Stop" I order "why the hell do you want to talk to me?".
"Why not?" She asks.
"No" I say sternly "don't give me that answer with a question bull shit because I have a short attention span... Most people who know me. They just walk away. Why can't you just walk away" she looks up at me blankly.
"I don't know" Maria answers truthfully "I don't take an interest in people who aren't interesting" okay that's a pretty fucked up answer "and if you feel uncomfortable about me talking to you about your lesbian ways you just tell me....".
"I'm not a lesbian" I say immediately.
"Be one..." She smiles "feel free... Please".
"You know, you were right about me. I don't have any friends and I like it that way. Being a lesbian is just my sense of security" I say for the first time in my life. God I hate this bitch.
"Security against what?" She asks curiously just as the bell goes signalling us to go to class. I look at her and sigh.
"people like you" I walk away from her. It's the truth. I don't need anyone. Don't need anything. I just need me. Miss Elizabeth fucked in the head Parker. Liz felt her body collide with someone else she was about to mumble a sorry when she saw exactly who she bumped into. Max playa Evans. What a jerk.
"Man..." I said pushing back off him "get a fucking eye dog" I spat before walking off.
"Maybe if you didn't paint your fucking eyes shut..." Max growled walking off down the hall towards 4th period English.

I walked into the bar I call home and ran up stairs to my shitty ass room slamming the door shut behind me and locking it. That way no drunk would walk in and try to get their jollies off or piss on my wall like they usually did. Pricks.
"That you" A grumble voice yelled from the living room.
"Yeah" I yelled back dumping my books and shit in the closet before plopping down on my bed and turning my metallica music up loud to drown out his requests. There should be a law against parents having kids. Like they have to take some kinda test where if your drunk, horny, or severely fucked in the head than you fail. My father is all the above but hey he gets me. I gothic supposed lesbian rejected by school society. Yippee.
"Turn that shit down" He orders from the other side of the door. I turn it up just annoy him "I said Turn that shit down" he orders trying to break in my room. He does this at least once a day. He either has a hangover from the night before or like me he has a low tolerance for shit taking. Maybe that's where I get all my charming characteristics. The lights go out. The music shuts off. I'm left in the dark. With my thoughts.
"I turned the fucking power off you stupid slut" he yells "now get your ass out here before a break down that door and beat you to death" I reluctantly got up and made my way to the kitchen. Jeff my FATHER served up some green shit called green pea soup. The reason I emphasised father is because he may be biologically my father (god knows why a responsible sensible women like mother would sleep with an asshole like him) he is more like a stranger to me. I stared down at the Chef 's special of the day. Gross I thought as I spat in it and pushed it back.
"I'm not hungry".
"Fine" he snaps grabbing the plate and throwing it in the sink. The plates smashes "what are you anorexic or something. You need more meat on you".
"Whatever" I grumbled.
"What did you just say" Jeff growled getting up out of his seat "Don't you talk back to me".
"I didn't fucking say anything" I protested before a fist meet with my face and caused me to go flying onto the floor.
"Don't talk back to me" he snapped walking over to a draw and retrieving some letters he had stored away "Browns. MIT. Harvard" he screams throwing each letter at me "Do you really think I'd let you get away from me".
"Those are mine" I cry trying to get up to retrieve them. Jeff hits me in the stomach and grabs the letters.
"There mine" he snapped. Throwing them into a small bin with a little alcohol and setting them alight "You're mine".
"Fuck you" I cried getting up and running to my room to grabbed my coat before running out towards the door. Jeff comes out of no where and grabs me from behind throwing me in a wall and onto the ground.
"Where the hell are you going?" He snaps grabbing my wrist tightly "Your not going anywhere". I used him to pull myself up and threw my knee into his groin before making my great escape out the door and into the bar. And then out the door not stopping for anything until I reached the graveyard. My place of solitude. I stopped and leaned against a tomb stone to catch my breath. Before my eyes drifted towards a white angelic marble Tombstone.
"Why did you leave me here?" I cried "why?" I curled up towards the tombstone and cried.
"Well of course Will today everything about..." The voice stopped when his eyes look down at Liz's curled up figure "hello" I looked at the shadow that had suddenly cast it's self upon me and groaned inwardly.
"Go away" I order.
"It's not safe for you in a cemetery.." He says reaching for him. I wiggle away from his reach.
"Fuck off" he shrugs and mumbles something before walking off with the petite red head. I hug the tombstone again and cry until I fall asleep.
NANCY PARKER
LOVING WIFE, MOTHER AND FRIEND
SHE WILL ALWAYS LIVE ON IN OUR HEARTS

I woke up this morning in the graveyard and I thought I was dead. More like wish I was dead. I got up and walked the streets back to my house, I get treated like shit, beaten up every second day but at least I have my own four walls and a roof. I walked in to the local cafe called the crash down. Fucking weird place man. Aliens. Spaceships. Another tourist trap. Like this town needs anymore. I sat down in a booth and waited for some blonde preppy waitress to take my order when none other than Michael Guerin and Max Playa Evan's show up and give me a weird look.
"What?" I snap.
"Your in our booth" Max says looking away from me.
"I'm so sorry" I say sarcastically "I didn't see you name on it... Oh unless your names are Dick smack and little bitch. Than please have this booth" I say sliding out and onto my feet.
"Why don't you crawl back under whatever rock you came from Parker" Max snapped sliding into the booth.
"Oh that's so harsh Max" I answered sarcastically again "I'll go somewhere and cry about how you broke my heart you fucking loser" I walked off towards a booth near the window and took a seat. I could go on about the things that Max Evan's does that makes him such a jerk, but I won't because it would take eternity to finish. Cocky son of a bitch. And Michael. He's one of Max's bitches. He's always quite. He's one of those I don't bite unless provoked types. Wanker.
"Hi Welcome to the crash down cafe" A blonde preppy girl said with fake enthusiasm "I'm Anya I will be your waitress" I groaned inwardly.
"Two black coffees" I order. I'm in the caffeine mood. Caffine + me = spaz. I do crazy shit like walk to the super market shoplift bags of tictacs. Or I go and sit in the park and bitch about people who walk by. Or I draw. I'm such the rebel.
"Would you like anything to eat with that?" My stomach answers for me. I'm fucking starving.
"Yeah I'll have..." I say skimming over the menu "men in black pie" I look over at Max and think again ".. To go" she nods and walks off to the kitchen while I wait with a sick feeling in my stomach. She calls me over to the counter and get up reluctantly digging around in my pockets for change suddenly bumping into someone. I look up and push past him towards the counter.
"Walk much" I snap as I pushed past him.
"You ran into my beast" he snaps. I slam into the counter and glare at Anya.
"That comes to six dollars and forty five cents" I throw a ten dollar bill at her and run out wit my food "have a nice day" she calls after me.

The bell rings and I get up and walk to my next class. Bio with Mr Heisman. I hate that class. I love science I just hate the class, we play tutor to the remedial science class who pretty much ignore you and joke with their friends. And once the experiment is done they take half the credit., losers. But that's not the part I hate the most. Max playa Evan's is in my class. Smart ass jerk off. I walk in and take my usually seat. Middle back row.
She's waiting for me.
"Hey Parker" Maria smiled brightly. I nod and sit next to her as Alex walks in. Nobody ever talks to him. Or he never talks to any body. He has a piercing in his lower lip and his hair is spiky. He's pretty tall and lanky, and he is in a killer band that play all the time at Ufonics. He's on bass and sings a little.
"You should talk to him" Maria whispered in my ear. Fuck off.
"No way" I answer politely. Suddenly she pushed me pretty much into his fucking lap. I'm probably look as red as a tomato. Note to self kill Mary chick.
"Sorry" I say feeling like an idiot "You guys got any gigs tonight?".
"Nah, were thinking about calling it quits" Alex said.
"Serious" Alex nodded and looked towards the front of the class blankly "why?".
"We just been in a really bad place right now" Alex said sadly "Cherry our lead singer is going solo... And I'm getting sick and tired of all these groupies kissing my ass".
"That's because your a great bass player Alex" I said leaning into him so nobody else could hear "when you guys performed at 'Crash' a few months ago you totally bought the house down" Alex looked at her with surprise.
"You follow our gigs" I nodded and Alex smiled "I wouldn't have thought you would".
"A lot of people think I don't do a lot of things" I sighed "And is it really that hard to get a new lead singer" Alex shrugged.
"Before tomorrow nights gig" I cringed. That situation is a lot harder than I thought The teacher entered and I sat back in my seat ready for today's lesson, did I mention I'm a total science geek. It wasn't until I looked over at Maria that I realised she was smiling at me like an idiot. I rolled my eyes and stared at the front of the class.
"Okay class this semester we will be focusing on the practical work of biology" the teacher said "Due to poor funding we will have to put you into groups of two per lab table" Maria squealed hugging my arm. I immediately yanked away. While Alex looked at me with hope also. What is it I talk to people and I have some weird effect on them.
"Excuse me sir" Alex said putting his hand up.
"Yes Mr Whitman" Alex cringed.
"Will we be choosing our own groups" the teacher shook his head.
"I will be choosing your groups for you" the class moaned and booed. All for the exception of Liz "so here goes. Maria Deluca and Alex Whitman, Sara Winter and Bobby Clark, Fiona Rascal and Matthew Lilliard, Katrina Cobbs and Riley Finn, Max Evans and Liz Parker...." Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no. Fuck no.
"Hey Parker" Max says walking up to me with his bag in hand, as he slide's into the vacant seat next to me. Maria had left to sit with Alex who had began a discussion about the band.
"Fuck" I hiss.
"What?" He asks eyeing me weirdly.
"I wasn't talking to you" I snap turning my back to him angrily.
"Whatever Parker, just because I'm sitting next to you doesn't mean you can try anything" me try anything, if he even breathes wrong I'm going to rip his sac of like a paper towel "get it".
"Like I'd would try anything" I answer "you fucked up asshole".
"Fuck" Max burst out getting the attention of the whole class. Including the teacher. Putting him and me in the hot seat. Fuck you Max Evan's.
"Is there something wrong Mr Evan's" he asks in his posh tone of voice.
"Yes there is a big problem" he says getting up and away from me, I wouldn't have it any other way "I mean I can handling sitting next to a girl who spits occasionally, bad BO or ugly looking fashion sense but this freak..... There is no way on earth I wanna sit next to her".
"And you think I wanna sit next to you" I snap getting up out of my seat, interrupting the teacher before he can talk "Mr I think I'm all that then some".
"STOP IT" the teacher screamed over us. I am so angry "you two out of my class room immediately and to the office" I glared at Max who glared right back at me. I grabbed my bag and received a sympathetically look from Alex and Maria who were now sitting at the back of the class. I rolled my eyes and walked out into the hall way with Max right beside me.
"Freak" he muttered in my direction.
"Man whore" I muttered back.
"Paint by numbers" he would muttered back.
"Fuck head" I mumbled back. This continued all the way down the hall.

I glare at Max who glares right back at me from the other side of the committee room I look away, what exactly are we meeting about. Due to our little disruption in Biology we have to join the Prom planing committee and make a positive impact. I bags chips and dips. Max is still staring at me, I can tell because every time someone stares at me I get this prickle sick feeling on the back of my neck. I look up and he looks away. He better not think he has a chance with me or my dead body, a girl like me can really bring down his popularity ratios. Or would I improve it, I don't allow guys to reach any kind of base with me. I mean I kissed my second cousin once and let him feel me up, but I remember that I was that of the tender age of 9 and I had no idea what the hell I was doing. If I had that would have been followed by a quick kick to the groin and a punch in the face. From then on I became the shit people scrapped off their boot, I've earned the privilege. Meeting over I get up and walk out the crowds parting, I guess nobody likes me. Max disappears down another hall while I disappear into the Gym for some privacy while I eat my lunch.
I would usually go to the tree and sit, but my new best friend Alex and Maria wait for me now. I still don't know why. I opened the door and continued towards a chair in the corner when none other than the preppy cheerleaders themselves caught my attention. Fuck that. I turned to walk out when miss thang and her side kick stopped me.
"Well, well, well if isn't freak girl" Buffy hissed, with a mischievous grin on her face "Come to try out for cheer leading".
"Hell no" I say moving to get out the door only to have blondness block my exit "fuck off barbie".
"Eat me Goth bitch" I clenched my fist ready to smash her when Isabelle rounded the corner and glared at us.
"What's going on here?" She asked in a controlled tone, is there a stick shoved up her ass or what.
"Nothing" Cordelia answered "we were just asking Parker here if she wanted to try out for cheer leading".
"But she denied" Buffy answered "knew she was a chicken" I glared at her.
"You don't got shit on me blonde slut" I snap at her.
"Oh yeah" Buffy smiled "then show me Lizzie" I slapped her.
"Don't ever call me that" I walk out. I don't need to prove myself to those ho's and their Satanic cheer leading squad, stupid bitches.

"It can't be that bad" Maria giggles as she looks at me. I stare at her with an cocked eye brow "okay maybe it can. Hey did you hear" she says with excitement "Alex has agreed to let me sing his band tonight".
"Congrats" I answer "where is Alex?".
"He wanted to drop one of his subjects" Maria answered before it dawned on her "Are we having a conversation?".
"No" I answer "yes" I answer with a weird look on my face "maybe".
"See I told you we'd be best friends" she giggles wrapping her arms around me as though to hug me, I stop her.
"What does being friends mean?" I asked "if it involves hugging, hanging out and all of the above then count me out".
"Stop being a dork butt" Maria growls "your problem is that you keep yourself closed off to everyone Liz".
"So what" I snap at her "I like things they way they are Mary. Simple".
"Simple for you maybe" she answers "you just go around acting like a negator instead of positor".
"Right now I'm a what-a-tor" I answered "your talking jibberish".
"Be happy once and a while" she smiles "maybe even wear some colours other than black".
"There are colours other than black" I gasped in fake shock "I never knew".
"I have an Idea" she says turning to me "come to UFOnics tonight".
"I don't think so" I answer.
"Why not" Maria whines like a puppy.
"I have things to do" she looks at me and backs off.
"hanging out in a cemetery isn't what I'd call things to do" she says sharply, I look at her in shock "Alex saw you running one day and followed you to the cemetery... Look I'm really sorry about your mom".
"Fuck off" I walk off down the hall towards the library. I feel so dirty. I walk into the library and me being as dumb as I am bump into someone and cause the books he was holding to go everywhere.
"Sorry" I mumble picking up one of the books on vampires "cool books... Were these just imported or something because I've scaled every inch of the library. It's almost like it's a PG movie something".
"No these are my own private collection" the guy I knocked over answered in a British accent "My name is Rupert Giles, I'm the new librarian".
"great" I answer walking deeper into the library where I find people who don't even look young enough to go to this school "and so goes the library nerds" I say loud enough for them to hear me "I just wanna renew a book".
"Oh goodie" he says jumping over the counter "may I see you library card" I dig around in my back pocket and give it to him. Some how he's surprised "Liz Parker".
"Parker" I answer "call me Liz again and I'll beat you to a bloody pulp" I say with a smile. He's shaking "kidding".
"Oh of course" he says slyly before dumping a book into my arms with 'VAMPYRE' written on it.
"what is this?" I ask.
"It's a vampire book" Some blonde girl says behind me "I'm Buffy".
"I'm leaving" I say dumping the book on the table and reaching for Prozac nations "you know you people should really get out more".
"You should speak" a tall guy with black hair spoke up.
"And what is that meant to mean" I asked, Buffy was now glaring at him.
"He didn't mean anything...".
"I'd like him to answer for himself" I persisted until it dawned on me that I had seen him before "your the guy from the cemetery" I said in a whisper.
"Your that girl we found" he said looking me up and down "oh yeah I never forget an attitude problem".
"What girl?" The red head stepped forward from the stacks with a another blonde beside her.
"That girl by the tomb stone" he answered "the one that told us to fuck off".
"Keep the language down guys" Buffy ordered "Dawn's in the room".
"I'm not a kid okay..." A little brunette by the computer protested.
"Whatever short stuff" I say looking around the room for anymore familiar faces. My eyes flicker to yet another blonde "your the new waitress at the crash down".
"And your that girl" Anya said getting up "I hope you liked your meal".
"Ahn" Xander said looking at her.
"What?" She said returning to whatever she was reading.
"Are you guys like... All new in town or something?" I asked.
"Were kinda here on holiday" Buffy answered.
"Your in Roswell on a Holiday" I laughed "no offence but If I were taking a holiday I would be in the Bahamas or at least somewhere near the sea" Anya mumbled an agree "so what you heard of the little green men and decide to come down like all the other alien freaks that captivate this town".
"Where actually looking for someone" Buffy spoke up "someone we've think we have found".
"Well don't let me disturb your man hunt" I said turning on my heels and walking out.
"Wait" Buffy called "I really don't know how to explain this....".
"Explain what lady?" I asked "explain that your doing something illegal in here or something, because really I don't see anything you need to explain to me".
"You have a destiny" Buffy called after me.
"Yeah whatever" I call back sarcastically "and I'm George Bush".

I spent most of my day avoiding the library. Avoiding Max Evan's and avoid the satanic cheer leading squad. So in short I skipped school and walked down the street towards the crashdown. Then I realized that's were that weird library nerds go so I cut through an alley and came across 'donut kings' the greatest tasting donuts in the world. I'd like to test that theory. I walked through the door and ordered myself a few icing covered donuts before sitting at a chair in the shop window.
"Hey there" I look up to a blue eyed blonde staring at me like I'm his whole fucking universe not today buddy "this seat empty".
"Yes" I answered sweetly "and this one will be two if you sit down".
"Feisty" he smirks sitting down "I like that in a..." I don't hesitate to get up and walk towards the back booth were no sun shines. I sit down in the cigarette chairs and wait for my donuts. I look up just as the cook tells me to come over to him with his index finger. I see my donuts and I get up to grab them.
"Hey" he smiles handing in me my donuts "you know what?" I roll my eyes and stare at him.
"What?" I asked.
"I made you come over here with one thing" I smirked leaning closer to me "imagine what I could do with two".
"Argh" I grunted before walking out of there with my donuts. Donut kings the horniest mother fuckers in the world I put the donuts in the bin and walk. There is no telling what they did to my donuts. It wasn't until a little while later that I came in contact with another dickhead of the male species. Not that I'm saying all males are, Alex is completely cool.
"Oh my god" he said reaching for his heart "I must be dead because I see an angel in front of me".
"What is this asshole day" I said walking off towards the bar. Note to self never skip school again.

I haven't seen my dad since yesterday night, he just disappeared. I've taken it on myself to take care of the bar even though it is illegal and quit school. So far I've failed. Bu hey it's been a few hours. The bar seems a lot happier without him might I add, accept for most of them who try to beat on me to give me there money. In the end I had to fire them all. Wankers. It was until I received a letter in the mail that I realized what my father was useful for, he was useful for paying the bills, paying the rent for this dump he calls a bar and keeping me at college and bitchy. Sniff sniff... I kinda in some weird way miss my dad. Okay I'm, over it now.
"Throw a party" Maria says in a high pitched voice "invite everyone have funky music... And maybe a live band" wink wink, nudge nudge from Maria.
"Sure pixie" I smile knowing she hates that nickname "and while I'm at it I'll stick brushes to my feet and skate while cleaning the floor just like pippy longstockings" I smile.
"Why not" she whines.
"First off this place is a dump, secondly social status on the latter of high school politic is non-existent" I look towards a very disgusted Alex "third of I'm a rocker... Not a funky chicken....".
"And" Alex interrupted "you've got a leak in your bathroom".
"Great" I sighed slamming my head on the bar "can my day get any worse".
"Hello" three pairs of eye plus mine swing and look towards the door as a tall girl with long wavy hair walks in "I'm looking for Jeff Parker".
"Sorry we can't help you there?" I answered.
"I heard he owns this place" she says taking off her glasses "it's not a bronze but I think I can adjust".
"I'm sorry to inform you but that prick known as Jeff Parker is currently missing" I answered with fake happiness "but hey I'm Liz Parker his stupid ass gothic bitch supposedly lesbian daughter. And you are".
"Cordelia Chase" she miles brightly "your sister" thank you god, apparently my life can get worse.
I was angry when I met you
I think I'm angry still
We can try to talk it over
If you say you'll help me out
Don't worry baby (don't worry baby)
No need to fight
Don't worry baby (don't worry baby)
We'll be all right
Chorus:
This is the noise that keeps me awake
My head explodes and my body aches
Push it, make the beats go harder
Push it, make the beats go harder
I'm sorry that I hurt you
Please don't ask me why
I want to see you happy
I want to see you shine
Don't worry baby (don't worry baby)
Don't be uptight
Don't worry baby (don't worry baby)
We'll stay up all night
Chorus
C'mon push it, you can do it
C'mon prove it, nothing to it
C'mon use it, let's get through it
C'mon push it, you can do it
Don't worry baby (don't worry baby)
Don't be uptight
Don't worry baby (don't worry baby)
We'll stay up all night
Chorus (3x)
Don't worry baby
We'll be alright
Don't worry baby
We'll be alright
Push it
Push it
Push it
Push it
Push it

I woke up in a clean house today with Alex and Maria gone...... and saw her again, the girl that says she is my sister. She sat down and explained that we were actually given by our birth mother. My adoptive parents being the Parkers, Jeff had under gone a lot of analysis before the gave me up. Apprently one of the social workers working on mine and Cordelia case thought he was a bit violent, who would have thought. While I lived in this shit hole my sister was bought up in a small town called Sunnydale with rich parents and etc. Figured she was on the cheer leading squad. Oh god my sister is on the cheer leading squad. She says she works in LA know, she is dating her boss and he is a vampire. Say what you say. Yes apparently vampires and demons are real. Infact she is part demon. Why am I not surprised.
"So enough about me" she says with a big grin "tell me about yourself little sister" I cringe.
"Where do I start?" She sits down at the bar.
"Start her ever" she says enthusiastically.
"Okay my adoptive mother died a few years ago and Jeff has been hitting me ever since, sometimes throws me out on the street to sleep in the gutters or whatever he feels like" Cordelia inhaled quickly as tears welled in her eyes, I showed just some of my scars "I've left school to run the bar. Jeff disappeared a few days ago and the employees were demanding money. I did the only thing I could and fired them all. My school life wasn't all that good any way I had to wannabe friends and the rest of the school though I was a lesbian. That's most of it".
"I'm sorry" she says hugging me "I'm sorry I wasn't here".
"Why would you want to be here" I say angrily. She pulls back.
"Because your my sister" she says still crying "and I've missed you so much Liz".
"Parker" I snapped pushing her off me " get that through your thick head".
"Don't push me away Liz please" she pleads "I wanna take care of you".
"Where were you when I need" I cried as unexpected tears slipped down my cheeks "where were you when he started hitting me. When I almost got raped in my own home.. When everything began to change huh. Where the hell were you" I paused "I'll tell you where you were out in Sunnydale living a life of luxury with no distractions no cares".
"I didn't know" she screamed at me "I didn't remember".
"See" I cried wiping away my tears "I don't need your help so you can go back to where ever you came from...".
"No.. I love you" Suddenly Cordelia grabbed me and even though I refused the hold got tighter until I felt peace sweep through my body. Understanding opened my eyes. And when the feeling left I cried like a baby. I'm fucking pathetic. Here I am. Crying. Who would have thought.
"Don't worry Liz.." She says smoothing my hair "I'm gonna take care of everything".

2 weeks later

Cordelia took me to LA exactly two weeks ago for a much needed vacation and I meet her boyfriend Angel his employees Gunn, Wesley and Fred. Not to mention the creepy people from the library. After that things got a little clearer. Apparently I'm a slayer and in ever generation a slayer is born, that means when I slayer dies another is reborn or whatever. How lame is that not to mention where they stuffed up. I mean this fluffy chick died for like a few minutes and was bought back by the wonders of CPR. Calling the next slayer and the next after she died and when the next died I was called. So lets recap viewers. My sister half demon I'm the slayer her boyfriends a vampire. What kinda fucked up world do we live in.
I'm trying and killing every dead things that walks, I even stopped an apocalypse. Occupational hazard. I sighed as I watched the Roswell sign go past in a breeze. Cordelia wants me to finish senior years in Roswell and get my life of being a future microbiologist back on track, her motto is just because I'm a slayer doesn't mean I can't have a life. Don't be so sure Buffy says others have tried and failed. That double meat palace thing seems to be going good, except for the smell. Stores begin to pass us by as I turn to look towards my sister, she had just got her hair cut into a cute bob. Lets just say Angel approved.
"I don't see why I couldn't just finish senior year in LA" I whined.
"It's already been decided" she says without looking at me.
"Yeah I know but all my friends where back in LA" I say crossing my arms "and what happens when I get in trouble of a demon kind, Angel won't be there to help me".
"Liz you have been fully trained" Cordelia says "you won't muck up if anything you are twice Buffy's strength".
"So" I moaned as we pulled into a parking spot.
"Here we are" I looked up and saw the bar accept it looked different. I froze "Liz?".
"I'm not going in there" I says planting myself in the passenger chair.
"Liz I know..".
"You don't know jack shit" I scream at her "now get me the hell out of here" she gets in the car and drives off in silence.

I had the dream again. It's always the same. He is there and he some how manages to drag me back to that place and tell me I'm his forever and that I will never be free of him. I cried all last night, so quiet that my sister didn't hear me. She doesn't. The only person who knew I was crying was either Lorne or Angel, and even though they said they understand they really don't. No one ever will.
"Hi there" I look up at a ditzy blonde "I'm Isabelle Evan's of the sunshine committee" I shake her hand reluctantly I remember her but obviously due to my million dollar make over as Fred calls it she doesn't remember me.
"Hi" I smile getting up "I'm Elizabeth...".
"Chase" she smiles "I read your file, come on I'll show you to your class room" before I can tell her I don't need any help she walks off as though I'm hot on her heels. Which I am just to keep up with her "If you need a text book for any of your classes just get one from the library".
"Thanks" I replied looking towards the old library room. Apprently things had change "and the library would be where?".
"That's the old library it was burnt down a few days ago and most of the books were damage. Isn't it funny how they some how managed to save all the text books in time" she says rolling her eyes "so your from LA right?".
"Yeah" I answer.
"Oh I would love to live in LA. That close to that many shoes" I laugh nervously and continue to follow her down the empty halls of West Roswell high "Well, you'll be okay here. If you hang with me and mine, you'll be accepted in no time. Of course, we do have to test your coolness factor. You're from LA, so you can skip the written, but let's see. Vamp nail polish?".
"Um, Over" I answer hesitantly.
"So over" she says flicking her hair over her shoulders "Jason Bher".
"He needs to call me" Liz smiled brightly Isabelle wasn't such a bad person after all, once you get past all that... Hard to explain exterior.
"Frappaccinos?" Iabelle cooed.
"Trendy, but tasty" I answered licking my lips subconsciously.
"John Tesh?".
"The devil" I answered in a sinister voice.
"That was pretty much a gimme, but hey you passed" she smiled at me happily.
"Goody" I answered sarcastically not that she noticed. She came to a sudden stop and pointed me towards my first class of the day.
"This is your room" she miles "If you need any help just ask my brother he is this class as well" Max Playa Evan's oh goody "your next class is right down the hall if you need my help...".
"Actually that won't be necessary" she looks at me in confusion "what the secretary failed to say was I already know my way around... I took a tour you could say".
"Oh" she nodded "then I'll see you at lunch in the quad".
"You bet ya" I smiled as she skipped off down the hall. I looked at my class and sighed, there should be a rule against AP biology in the morning. I knocked on the door and waited for an answers. Before to long a squeegee face appears and looks at me observantly before pulling me into class.
"You must be Elizabeth Chase" he said not taking his eyes of me "tell me if you prefer Elizbeth of Liz?".
"Liz" I choked out as I looked over the class who seemed to be giving me their full and utter attention.
"Welcome to AP biology Miss Chase" he smiled looking for an empty seat "Can you please make our way to the seat beside Mr Evan's" I gulped and scanned the class just a hand flew up in the air. I looked over into a pair of amber eyes that seemed empty yet full of knowledge. I walked down the hall and took a seat beside him.
"Hi there" he said staring at me like the world depended on it.
"Hey" I answered focusing on the front of the class.

Max POV

If it's possible I have the prettiest girl in the world sitting next to me. I knew god owed me a favor he thought taking a look at the angel beside him. She had long brown hair and the prettiest brown doe eyes he had ever seen not to mention a killer figure. He knew better to take advantage of new girls but something about her seemed oddly familiar. He looked to the front but his mind kept racing about where he had seen her before. But before he could ask her the bell had went and she had zipped out the door almost as if she didn't want to be in the same breathing space as him because she was afraid she might catch something. Like a disease. Max pouted and grabbed his stuff to go to his next class.

Liz POV

School's school I guess, accept this time there not looking at me because I'm freaky there looking at me because I'm... An Isabelle clone. Like I'd ever want to be something like her. Three guys tried to grope me today not to mention all the horny fuckers who tried their pick up lines on me to get me to go with them to the eraser room. Ahh the infamous eraser room, or the love shack as people call it. I call it sick perverted way people choose to get off in secrecy even though there being watched constantly by the school. I stop in my tracks and hear the slight strumming of a guitar coming from the music room, I walk in care free to find a band on stage. But not only any band Alex's band the Whits with Maria as lead singer. I sit down in the darkness and just listen. They are amazing.
Uh-huh,
Life's like this
Uh-huh, uh-huh
That's the way it is
'Cause life's like this
Uh-huh, uh-huh
That's the way it is
Chill out,
What you yellin' for?
Lay back, it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
You will see
I like you the way you are
When we're, driving in my car
And you're talking to me
One on one
But you become
Somebody else
'Round everyone else
Watchin' your back
Like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool
You look like a fool
To me
Tell me
Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this, you
And you fall and you crawl
And you break and you take
What you get and you turn it into
Honesty Promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
No, no, no
You come over unannounced
Dressed up like you're something else
Where you are and
Where you sat, you see
You're making me
Laugh out
When you strike a pose
Take off all your preppy clothes
You know
You're not fooling anyone
When you become
Somebody else
'Round everyone else
Watchin' your back
Like you can't relax
Tryin' to be cool
You look like a fool
To me
Tell me
Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this, you
And you fall and you crawl
And you break and you take
What you get and you turn it into
Honesty Promise me
I'm never gonna find you fake it
No, no, no...
Chill out,
What you yellin' for?
Lay back, it's all been done before
And if you could let it be
You will see
Somebody else
'Round everyone else
You're watchin' your back
Like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool
You look like a fool
To me, to me
Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this, you
And you fall and you crawl
And you break and you take
What you get and you turn it into
Honesty Promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
No, no
Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this, you
And you fall and you crawl
And you break and you take
What you get and you turn it into
Honesty Promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
I get up to applaud when I see no other than Isabelle Evan's walk on stage and shove her tongue down Alex's throat while the drummer who now I see is Michael Guerin walks over and wraps his arms around Maria. Seems things have changed while I was away I think backing out slowly. What felt like to me was the most unforgettable two weeks amongst the sun and sand appeared to be years since I'd left. Or they made it look like that. The people who cared about me are with the people who helped make my life hell. Yippee. Liz Chase 0 points West Roswell crowd 1. The games set. Before I leave I spot Max and Tess sitting in the back seats curled up in each others arms. Charming developments I think before walking out of there speechless. Maybe I still am just a Goth using her sexuality as front to ward of everyone. Maybe Liz Parker never changed. I feel sick at the ball of my stomach. Suddenly my asses starts beeping I pick my cell phone from my back pocket and read my new message from Cordelia.
/I got you a job after school at 5 working at the crash down. Good luck/ oh great. Life can get worse. Why do I feel as though this is all familiar to me.

"What's on your mind Max?" Tess asked resting her head on Max's shoulder comfortable. She didn't care about Max, well she cared but just on a friendly basis... She had already given her heart away to someone else. Kyle Valenti who was currently away at some football thing.
"You seen the new girl?" Max asked.
"No" Tess answered looking up at him "but I suspect you have" Max grinned like an idiot.
"She's in my AP biology class" he admitted. Tess hit him in the arm.
"You like her don't you" Max couldn't deny or confirm, he simply nodded "I can't really say anything myself but Isabelle says she is really nice".
"Isabelle met her?" Max asked.
"Yeah idiot" Tess smirked "sunshine committee".
"Oh yeah" Max said scratching his head "I forgot".
"I heard she's from LA" Tess answered looking cautiously over Max who seemed to be on another planet, another planet with the new girl she suspected "you really like her don't you".
"Why do you ask?" He asked curiously.
"Because your staring into space Maxwell Evan's" she answered "you know you can't do anything about it...... I mean because of what we are".
"I know" Max answered drawing circles on Tess's back "It's just, she seems familiar to me. Like I've meet her before".
"You mean on Antar?" Tess asked.
"No... I don't know" Max answered "her eyes... There so familiar" Tess bit her lip.
"Maybe we should look into her" Tess advised.
"Look into who?" Isabelle asked as she Alex, Michael and Maria joined in on the conversation. Tess whipped her head up and looked at them.
"Liz Chase" Tess replied "Max says she looks familiar to him".
"So" Isabelle said sitting down in Alex's lap "just because Max thinks she is familiar doesn't mean she is anything that she's probably not".
"But what if she is" Max said looking at his sister "what if she's a threat to us and we can't do anything about it because we found out to late".
"I'm with Max" Michael spoke up tightening his arms around Maria.
"Thanks Michael" Max replied gratefully "is?".
"Whatever" she said nuzzling Alex's neck affectionately just as the bell went.
"See you guys later" Max said before taking off.

If there is one thing about being a slayer you know when your being watched, like if I were spider man my spider sense would be going ape shit. I take a quick glance around the room like Angel had taught me to find Alex staring at me, like he had for the last half hour or so. They think I'm a threat. A threat to what is I want to know. The bell goes and it's home time I walk out of class with someone hot on my tail. Maria. I duck into the girl bathroom with her on my tail so predictable. I stop and she comes in and literally crashes into me.,
"Sorry" she mumbles before moving forward towards the sinks. I block her path "excuse me".
"Why are you following me Maria?" I ask.
"I don't know...".
"Alex has been watching me all last period, you guys have been following me all day. Why?" I ask "why do I threaten you?".
"I don't know...".
"Cut the crap" I scream slamming my fist through a mirror neither cutting or bruise the flesh of my skin. Maria stands speechless and shaking in her boots "tell your little friends to back up and stay away from me got it" she nods and walk out. What I just did was a bad idea. I run out of the school and jump in my sisters car, turning the music up immediately to drown out the outside world. Some how I'm tuned into this song. It's me almost.
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling
I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling
Cordelia turns the music down after the song ends and some preppy teen booby things come on, by this time I notice Cordelia doesn't look like herself. I look in the back-seat and find her packed bags, she's leaving.
"Your leaving?" I ask looking out the window.
"Only for a little while" she answers not taking her eyes of the road "I just had premonition".
"Oh" I laugh "of course you did".
"Liz you know what we do is dangerous" she says trying to reason with me "I have to get up there and warn them".
"You can do that over the phone" I snap "you just don't wanna be here, well guess what neither do I".
"Don't Liz not now" Cordelia growled "I'll only be a few weeks".
"Says you" I answer. She opens her mouth to protest "when are you leaving?" I ask cutting her off.
"Tonight" she answers.
"Fine" I say turning the music back up and staring out the window. Drowning out the world. Drowning myself in the music.

Cordelia left yesterday and I feel like shit, just thought you ought to know.

Maria and Alex sat and stared at Liz intently studying her ever move, wishing they knew the truth. Alex turn and sighed wonder were she had been and what had caused her to change so much in two weeks. Not only was she not as mean as she once was she was cleaner, sexier (don't tell Isabelle) and happier. Where had she been all this time? The same questions raced through Maria's mind when Max walked up to them.
"You won't believe what I found out" he says looking down at a file marked confidential "Elizabeth chase didn't exist until 1 and a half weeks ago".
"Really" Maria said snatching up the file "says she was born in a town called Sunnydale? Is that true?".
"I don't know" Max said looking over at Liz "but she is definitely not who she says she is" Max walked off. Maria grabbed Alex.
"Sunny dale" she screeched.
"What?" Alex asked worriedly.
"Liz's parents graduated from Sunnydale high Alex I saw the year book in the bar" she gulped "there has to be more to this than there seems".
"Your right but until we find out exactly what is going on" he pauses "we keep what we know between us" Maria nodded "I'm going to check a few things out okay".
"Okay get back to me as soon as you find out something" Maria called behind him. Maria looked up at Liz and saw her walk off into the music room, curiously Maria followed quietly slipping into the room and watch Liz at the piano. Her fingers brushing the keys gently before her angelic voice sliced through the ear boundlessly. Maria in awe.
Realize that I've lost control
Impulses keep flashing
Through my head
I'm on the outside
Take up all my life inside
Why would I let them
Make up my mind
And be mislead
Go ahead
Make up your mind
I have had enough of
Who they want
Leave me alone
This pain inside
I can't understand
This hate in life that
Will not go away
(Go away)
Go ahead
Make up your mind
I have had enough of
Who they want
Leave me alone
Realide that I've lost control
Impulses keep flashing
Through my head
I'm on the outside
Liz stopped abruptly and collapsed on the piano. Maria disappeared out the door sad for her.

"A slayer life is never easy" damn straight I think to myself as I listen to Buffy on my cell phone while walking through the cemetery. She is doing the same thing in Sunnydale as we speak, the watchers think it's a distraction but hey cute guys are a distraction. Cute vampire guys is what we always get "take Dawn right I just found out she has been shop lifting behind my back".
"No way" I gasp "what kinda stuff".
"Little things mostly" she answers "accept she shop lifted a leather jacket for my birthday... And she blames me. Hello dead girl walking".
"What was it like?" I asked curiously "being dead?".
"Nice. I mean the dying part hurt like hell but I was happy.. At peace" Buffy answered sadly "but they needed me. You now" I look ahead and see none other than Max, Michael, Isabelle and Tess talking with some guy. I duck behind a tomb and listen in on the is conversation "what's happening?".
"Looks like someone's having a meeting.. In a cemetery of all places" I say watching them intently "great way to be conspicuous".
"Gotta go" Buffy says "demons and stuff talk ya later".
"Bye" the line went dead and sat quietly listen in on there conversation which had just ended. I peaked over the tomb and watched as Max put his hand on a stone causing it to glow. Looks like there not just human I smirk trying to get a better look at what they are looking at. Stone stones with a weird symbol on it. Maybe little green men do exist. I step forward to adjust my position when a twig snaps under my foot alerting them of my presence. The guy snatches the stones.
"You led someone here" he snapped "I must hide to the orbs... You take care of whatever it is" he runs leaving the four alone with me. I guess there is no time like the present to pop out. I appear startling them.
"Liz?" Max gasped the others looking at me in fear.
"Max" I say studying them "what? You come here to dig bodies up too?".
"No.. What are you doing here?" Max asked.
"Who cares what she is doing here?" Michael snapped stepping towards me "who the hell do you work for? Khivar?".
"I work for myself little bitch" I answer "what are the orbs? And what exactly are you guys?" They went quiet "we can do this the hard way or the easy way..." Michael lunged at me with his hand raised in mid air a green ball of light emitting from it and towards me. I manage to bend back and miss it casually flipping my legs over into a fight stand "nice powers".
"Who are you?" Michael grunted again.
"I'm me" I answer. He raise's his hand again but this time I use my agility to run circles around him and grab him in a powerful head lock "now you have a choice Max I can easy snap his neck or you can tell what fuck you are doing here? And what the orbs are?".
"What are you doing here?" Tess asked.
"This is not that kind of game Tessy-pooh" I answer "yes or no Max. Yes you tell me or No you have one less friend".
"Liz stop it" I look towards Alex and Maria. Maria hysterical because I got her man in a head lock "you don't want to do this. It's not you".
"And I suppose you know who I am" I snapped at her.
"I know who you are" I softened and throw Michael into Max knocking them over. Isabelle raising her hand to defeat me only to have Alex block her way.
"Alex what are you doing?" Isabelle snaps.
"She's not who you think she is" Alex says turning to me "who are you Liz? Or do you prefer Parker?".
"Parker" Tess snapped sizing me up "I wouldn't have guessed".
"Whatever blonde shit" I screamed at her "now what the hell is going on".
"It's hard to explain..." Maria sighed helping Michael up she opened her mouth to continue.
"No it's not" Alex intercepted "aliens exist, Isabelle, Max, Michael and Tess are aliens".
"Wow" I say leaning against a tomb "that is more fucked up than my life".
"I bet" Tess snorted glaring at Liz.
"Shut up bottle job" I snap "Since when did you and Max Evan's become one person people".
"Go fuck yourself Parker" Tess snapped.
"Oh you'd like that wouldn't you" I growled.
"Enough" Isabelle ordered "where have you been Liz?".
"I have been in Los Angeles with my sister Cordelia and her 200 year old boyfriend" they look at me oddly "here's the thing vampires, demons and all that other shit walks the earth. I fight them. I have super human strength. My sister is part demon and yadda yadda yadda".
"You expect us to believe that crap?" Michael said rubbing his chest.
"Why do you want me to whup your ass again?" I say getting up "because all you have to say is yes".
"Stop it" Max ordered the both of them "where's your father?".
"My adoptive father" I corrected "and I don't know where he is and frankly I don't give a damn. Is that enough I really have a job to do".
"You really think your a warrior don't you" Tess laughed "your just delusion".
"Come on Tess" Alex said looking up at her "A few days ago I would have been convinced that aliens didn't exist and now look. Four aliens are my best friends...".
"3" Maria mumbled aloud glaring at Tess.
"And I'm up to my ass saving and trying to help you guys escape FBI agents" Alex paused "why can't vampires exist".
"How did he find out?" I asked curiously "from what I see you guys I really secretive why tell Alex?".
"We didn't exactly choose to tell him" Max spoke up "there was an accident....".
"Alex was shot in a robbery a few days ago" Isabelle interrupted "Max saved his life and he told Maria thus putting us here".
"Well I have to say tonight has been a very intense night" I say turning my back to them "well good never seeing you again".
"Wait" Tess called after Liz "you have to promise that you won't tell anyone about us".
"I'm not going to make promises" I reply "you know something about me I know something about you. Lets just kept it that way" I walk.. And I keep walking. From what I think there gunna keep being them and bugging me. Unable to leave me alone. I told Cordelia I was leaving and would be in LA in a few weeks maybe longer. I'm taking the scenic tour. I pass the bar and sigh deeply before speeding off out of town.

Jeff walks out of the bar with a sinister smile on his face, his blood stained teeth shining in the pale moon light. He light himself a cigarette and stared after her. Tracking her scent "your mine" he whispered to no one "your mine" he jumped in his blacked out car and followed her.

THE END

thanks for reading*wink*

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 12-Oct-2002 4:13:19 PM ]