|posted on 1-Nov-2001 3:16:02 PM by Fluffie|
|Author: Kay (destinysky⊕hotmail.com)|
Authors note: This is a 'what if future Max never came' fic. I hated season 2 and season 3 isn't showing much promise either so I'm re writing everything. The basis of this story is what would have happened if Future Max never come and ruined everything. I've had this idea for a while but I've had a nasty case of writers block for about a year, so please leave some feedback. A few words of encouragement go a long way.
It's October 30th 2000, I'm Liz Parker and I can't seem to remember why I'm supposed to stay was from Max Evans. I went to a psychic today with Maria and Alex. She told me the one think I never thought I'd hear, and I wanted to believe her. She told me that Max and I will be together. I've tried to stay strong and let him fulfil his destiny for 5 long months, but I can't remember why. To make my resolve crumble even further, Max came to my window tonight and sang to me in Spanish, and gave me white (originally red) roses. I was standing in front of mirror pretending to say my wedding vows, something I haven't done since I was about 11, and I heard him singing. I fell in love with him all over again. Not that it takes much, all he has to do is smile at me and I remember why I love him and the whole world melts away. I wonder how many people have ever loved somebody that much? It’s the kind of love you believe stands for everything that right in the world. How can something so right be wrong?
I can tell you why, destiny. How can such a simple word destroy my entire existence? It's not fair. Max and I had to work to be together. We fought it for months, and when we finally admit we love each other, some other girl comes in and shatters everything by telling me she had him first. I want to hate him for it, but I can't. I want to hate her for it, and I'm trying really hard not too, but I know it's not her fault either. During the summer, and up until an hour again, I hated myself for falling in love with an alien. I hated my self cause there was no other person to blame for it. The part of my brain that doesn't think and is there only to make me feel bad, told me it was my fault, I should have run and never looked back the second I found out Max Evans was an alien, but my heart told my different. It told me I have no choice who I love. I love Max because he is so kind, and his incredible heart. His need to take care of everyone around him and protect them. There are so many reasons I love him and most of them I can't even begin to put in to words. It's impossible to describe someone's soul. Max's soul is the reason I love him.
It's getting harder and harder for that little part of my brain that tells me I shouldn't love Max to keep my heart from convincing the rest of me I should. Actually I think it lost the battle tonight. I can't deny it anymore. It makes me hurt every time I do. I was never any good at it anyway. The whole summer my aunt kept telling me to call my boyfriend and forgive him for what ever I did. I told her over and over again I didn't have a boyfriend but she never believed it. She told me that the only thing that’s makes a person look as sad as I did was losing the one person they loved most about in the world. Tears flowed down my face when she said that because it was truer then any other thing I had ever been told. She didn't bring it up after that.
I now have the chance to have him back but I refuse to do and I can't remember why. I want to be with Max, and it's obvious he wants to be with me, but something is holding me back. Maybe it's my fear of getting hurt again.
Liz put closed her journal and crawled out of the chilly October air and in to the warm comfort of her room. She walked over to her desk and put the leather book safely in the bottom drawer instead of its place behind a brick, before sitting down and staring and the vase of white roses that now stood there as a constant reminder that someone loved her. She wondered if Max got red roses on purpose so he could change them in front of her eye so she'd know he remembered they were her favourite. And she wanted to know how long it took Max to learned the words of the sang for her and who taught them to him. She wondered if that’s lady was right about her and Max's sex life. She wondered how long she would be able to avoid Max or if she even wanted too. Four months ago it seemed like the right thing to do, but not any more. Maria told her how much Max missed her over the summer and how he would grill Maria for every detail whenever she called or sent a letter. Liz remembered how her heart skipped a beat the first time she saw him when she got back from Florida. She had to stop herself from running up to him and telling him how she missed him and how sorry she was she left him, but that little part of her brain stopped her. It planted her feet on the ground and made her eyes look away. Then it made her say thing she didn't want too.
She hated that little part of her brain. She hated it for making her walk down that hill and she hated it for making her take a vacation to the other side of the country. She hated it for not letting her go to Max every time she wanted too. She hated how it had control over her life and wouldn't let her follow her which she knew was always right. When she looked at those roses again, all the hatred she felt toward that part of her brain dissipated and all she felt was the love in her heart. She smiled and thought 'it may have controlled me then, but my heart has control now.' She went to bed and dreamed about Max.
When she woke up the next morning she raced to get ready for school. She wanted to see Max. something told her that today would be the day everything changed. She showered and dried her hair in record time. She got dressed carefully picking out her clothes and was out the door almost 20 minutes early. She hoped Max was at school early too. She sat outside the school, pretending to read her textbook waiting to hear the sound of the jeep drive up. When she heard it her heart started beating faster and keeping her eyes away from the jeep, she slowly stood up, and resisted the urge to jump up and sprint for the car. When she finally looked at the jeep, that part of her brain she thought had died last night made a comeback. Sitting in the front seat next to Max was Tess, talking animatedly and obviously trying to get the attention of the other 3 aliens in the car. Tears welled up in Liz's eyes and she couldn't figure out why. She knew Max sometimes drove Tess too school. She drove any of his friends to school if they needed a ride, but for some reason, Liz cried. She wanted to be the one in the front seat talking to Max. She wanted his attention and his time and his thoughts. Liz let out a sob and went running for the school, dropping her text book along the way.
She ran past the cheerleader in the quad, who were finishing their earl morning practice and past the group of teacher in the main hall. She ran straight to the bathroom, locked her self in the stall closest to the door and sat on the floor. Soon the halls filled with students and her sobs stopped. She could hear them laughing and walking past the doors. Still she sat there and wished she was in her room or in Max's arms, the only 2 places she truly felt at home. A squeal from out side the bathroom grabbed her attention. Seconds later a pair of boots Liz recognized as her own walked past her. The person wearing mumbled about clumsy coffee drinkers and Liz knew the voice too. It belonged to Maria. Liz silently debated if she should let Maria know she was there. It didn't matter, she back pack made the choice for here when I fell from its place atop the toilet.
"Hello?" Maria said Liz opened the door and peaked her head out, unable to form words at that moment. "Liz? Liz, babe, why are you hiding in the bathroom?" Maria asked with concern in her voice. Liz didn't answer, she just pulled her knees up and started crying again. At least she thought she was crying, she felt tears but no sound came out. Maria still had no idea why her best friend was crying, but she guessed it had to do with the serious dark haired mystery man from an exotic place that was the only thing other then her Grandmothers death that made Liz cry since she was a child.
Maria just hugged Liz and waited for her to stop crying. The bell rang and still they sat there. The tardy bell rang and they still sat there. 10 minutes after Maria found her, Liz stopped crying.
"Can you tell me why you are crying now?" Maria asked.
"Max" Liz answered, her voice cracking from crying.
"I know that, anyone who knows you could have figured that out, but why are you crying over Max?" Maria asked again trying to get detail.
"Max came to my window last night and sang to me. I finally gave in to everything I feel towards him and came to school early so I could talk to him, but when he got here, Tess with him. I know I shouldn't have cried, I mean he gives rides to everyone, Michael and Isabel were even in the backseat, but I couldn't help it." Liz said, trying to make sense.
"Everyone deserves a -for-stupid-reason cry every once and a while. I have on a weekly basis." Maria replied trying to make her friend feel better. Liz laughed.
"We should go to class before we get calls home" Liz said. She felt a little better and wanted to go to class.
"Good idea. I don't want to get a hour long lecture tonight. How about we have a ice cream fest tonight and you can tell me all about Max's serenade." Maria said. Liz giggled and replied.
"Sure, my place. You bring the fudge."
"It's a date" The two left the bathroom with a smile and split ways. Maria ran to her class and tried to think of an excuse, while Liz walked at a normal pace to biology. She stopped dead in her tracks when she remembered she was in that class with Max. 'Oh great' She thought, 'this is going to be fun.' She took a deep breath and walked in to her class.
"How nice of you to join us Miss Parker." The teacher said.
"Sorry, it won't happen again." Liz replied as she took out her books. When she looked up, she was met by the stare of a pair of hazel eyes she knew all to well. For a second she was lost and couldn't remember where she was. A load 'ahem' from the front of her room snapped Liz out of it and she finished the task of getting her notebook and pencil case of her book bag. 'This is going to be one long class.' Liz thought.
After an hour of avoiding looking at Max, Liz started to pack up her stuff. When she lifted her book she found a piece of paper underneath with her name written on it with handwriting she knew all to well. It was from Max. She shoved the not in her pocket, threw the rest of her stuff in her bag and got out of the classroom as quick as possible. She rounded a corner and went unto an empty classroom. Cautiously she opened the note.
I have to talk to you. Please meet me under the bleachers during lunch. It's important.
A thousand thoughts ran though her mind. She folded the note, out in back in her pocket and left the classroom. One thing was for sure, she wouldn't be thinking about anything except Max until lunch.
[ edited 4 time(s), last at 5-Nov-2001 6:23:05 PM ]
|posted on 2-Nov-2001 3:14:42 PM by Fluffie|
|Thanks for the feedback! Please keep it coming! This part maybe be a little angsty, but don't worry! I'll fix it! This is very dreamer friendly story! I promise.|
Tick, tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Liz watched the second hand on her watch move around and around in her watch. She never really paid attention to the hand before, It was always just there, that little hand that moves around telling you how close you are to the next minute. 'Liz, you're losing it. Pay attention' She told herself. All day, she had been getting distracted by the smallest things. Normally she would be taking notes and listening attentively to the teacher but today, none of it interested her. She glanced back at her watch. She had less then 20 minutes until lunch and she was getting more and more nervous. Why did he want to talk to her? Why now? Why not after school? Why not surprise her somewhere? Does he know how much of her day has been spent thinking about him? Liz's mind started wandering again and butterflies formed in her stomach.
The bell rang and everyone around Liz started to pack up their books, but she hardly noticed. It wasn't until someone tripped over her bag, did she realize class was over. The butterflies turned in to bats. She now had a family of bats living in her stomach, there was no way simple butterflies could make her feel as sick to her stomach as she felt now. She went through the motions of getting her belongings together, and walking through the halls towards her lockers. She pretended to be perfectly normal as she turned the dial on her lock, and was perfectly casual when she emptied her books in to her locker and retrieved her lunch. Any on looker would have seen nothing out of the ordinary, but things weren't ordinary. Liz was more nervous then she had ever been in her life. Then she thought about the vase of white roses that were sitting on her desk at home and the bats quieted down. Something about those roses calmed her. She began telling herself that what ever Max wanted to talk to her about had to be something good and she smiled. Her heart believed her, most of her believed it, but that little skeptical part of her brain that told her she shouldn't love Max refused to budge. And them the bats came back, but the smile on her face never left. It was going to be a battle of wills between following her heart and doing what her brain told her was right.
She walked past the masses to students and teachers towards the field. She tried to pay attention to the people around her so she wouldn't walk in to anyone, but it was getting harder and harder the closer she got to the bleachers, somewhere in the back of her mind, she hoped she wouldn't trip or run in to someone. When the bleachers came into view, the back of her mind shut up. A few steps later, she spotted Max. She concentrated on keeping her steps even and steady as she walked towards him. She was torn between running to him and launching herself in his arms or bolting in the opposite direction. Once Max saw here there was no turning back. He stayed right where he was standing, and waited for her to come to him.
"I was afraid you wouldn't come" He said to her with nothing in his voice giving away what he meant by it. Liz knew that if she looked in his eyes she would know, but that was out of the question. If she did that, all hope of getting away from him would be lost. She knew that was her brain talking, not her heart.
"You asked me to come." She replied. Neither of them said anything and after a few awkward moments Liz broke the silence. "What did you want to talk to me about Max?" He reached in to his pocket and pulled out two tickets.
"These. I got ticket to the Gomez concert and I wanted you to come with me." He said with obvious nervousness in his voice.
"I…" was all Liz got out before she shut her mouth again. The battle between her head and her heart started again. Her heart told her to say yes, but her head told her to say no. Her eyes wandered away from he small area behind the bleachers towards the crowds to people in the quad and focused on a blonde head. Tess's blonde head, and it was walking towards Liz and Max. Liz's heart cracked just a little bit and her head took the chance to get its' way.
"I can't Max. I.." She tried to think of a reason, but couldn't. "I just can't. I gotta go." She said quickly and walked away before Tess got there leaving a stunned and heart broken Max still holding on to the tickets.
Liz prayed she wouldn't cry. She had cried enough tears that day, she didn't want to cry any more. She blinked away tear after tear before it became useless and one rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away before anyone had a chance to see it but anyone who looked her in the eye would have known she had cried, but it suddenly didn't matter.
Liz sat down on a bench in a secluded part of the quad, and tried to figure out why she said no. She wanted to say yes more then anything else in the world, but she didn't. She replayed the whole encounter in her mind over and over. When she remembered the look on Max's face, her heart broke all over again. She had seen that look before, and she hated it. It was the look he had when she said goodbye in the cave. She never wanted to see it again because it killed her to know she was the one who put it there. Love was a stupid thing sometimes. It can make you feel amazing, but it can make you feel worse then anything else in the world. Action and Reaction, Everything you do has equal reaction. Liz inwardly laughed. Only she would compare love to something she learned in science class.
She pulled out her lunch and a book to read during the lunch hour. She didn't really want to be around people right then, and reading seemed like a good way to escape. The hour went by quickly and by then time she had to go to class, Liz felt better. Still sad and a little angry at herself for telling Max no, but she felt she could make it through the rest of the day without crying or spacing out again.
The rest of her classes went by without a hitch. She hurried to get home after school. She had no idea why she wanted to get home so badly. She would have blamed it on all the crying she had done that day, but that wasn't it and she knew it. She hadn't even come close to crying the whole afternoon. Liz didn't even stop by Maria's locker after school to make sure she remembered their ice cream fest that night. Something was calling her home.
Liz got to her apartment quickly, and as soon as she got her foot in the door, her dad was there asking for her to fill in for one of the other waitresses who called in sick. She didn't really want to, but she had no other choice. She changed in to her uniform, and started the 4 hour shift. I was to late for lunch and too early for dinner so it was almost empty. The only customers there were a man that worked in a store across the street who came over for a coffee on his break and small group of students, in a corner grabbing something to eat before there went to study at the public library. Liz used this chance to start on her homework while she sat at the counter. Every once and a while she would get up to refill the man's coffee, or get the students another drink, but other then that, nothing happened. The man left, and another came in for the same reason the last one did. The students left, leaving a huge mess behind them. As Liz was cleaning up after them, the bell above the door rang, and in walked Michael, Isabel, Tess and Max. 'Oh how fun' Liz thought. She finished wiping down the table and went to get their drink order.
"Hey guys, what can I get you to drink?" Liz asked with a fake smile.
"Cherry coke please" Isabel said without a hint of her ice princess attitude.
"Same" Michael replied in his typical manner
"Cherry coke with lime" Tess said barely noticing Liz, she was to bust trying to get Max to talk to her. Liz ignored her and waited for Max's order, not that she need to know, It never changed.
"Max?" Liz asked
"Cherry coke please." He said quietly. Liz barely heard, it but she didn't need to. She only waited for him to tell her his order so she could hear his voice.
"Ok, I'll be right back" Liz said and went to the kitchen to get their drinks. She tired to ignore the way Max was looking at her, but it wasn't working. She could feel his eyes boring holes in the back of her head. She briefly wondered if he would always do that do her. She brought their drinks back and still tried to ignore Max's eyes, she'd never make it though the order if he didn't stop, yet at the same time, she loved it. She loved how he could make her melt from the inside with just a look. 'that’s what being in love is, stupid' her heart told her.
"Ready to order?" Liz asked as she set the drinks down.
"Will Smith burger with Saturn ring" Tess said
"Will smith, no onions and fries please" Isabel said
"The usual" Michael said.
"Sigorney Weaver with fries please" Max said, still staring at Liz.
"Ok, anything else?" Liz asked, already knowing the answer. Their order never changed, with the possible exception of getting onion rings instead of fries every once and a while.
"No thanks Liz," Isabel said, answering on behalf of the entire table. After that, Liz went to put in their order, and give the guy with the coffee his bill. Since there was nothing else to do, Liz returned her attention back to her homework, still feeling Max's eyes on her. She tried to concentrate but it didn't work, and eventually she gave up all together on studying. She sat there and stared at her books until the order was done. When it finally was she jumped up a little to quickly to get the plate to bring them to the table.
"There ya go, you want anything?" Liz asked before she left the table. Michael shook his head and Liz took that to mean the while table didn't want anything. She assumed right. They ate their food, talking quietly. More accurately, Tess and Isabel were talking, Michael cared only about his food and Max stared at Liz while occasionally taking bite of his food. He waited so long to eat it, that is got cold and he had to heat it up. He did it so casually, that if you didn't know just what he was doing, you never would have known. Max's unwavering stare made Liz feel uncomfortable, but there was nothing she was willing to do. She knew if she talked to Max, she would have said something she didn't want to say, even if she didn't know what that was.
Eventually, they all finished their food. The Liz bought the bill, and Isabel was he only one to said good bye. By the time they left, the dinner crowd was starting to roll in and Liz had no time to think about anything, even Max. She was happy for the distraction.
The next three hours were a blur for Liz. Nothing more then a mix of cheese burgers, coca colas and a few annoying customers, she didn't even realize her shift was over until Maria came and told her so. Maria stopped Liz while she was on her way to take another order and told her to change because she wanted ice cream. Liz laughed and did as her friend told her.
|posted on 5-Nov-2001 6:22:06 PM by Fluffie|
|Sorry it took so long for a new part, but I had no time to write all wekend. Real life sucks :( Anyway, Enjoy!|
"So, Liz, wanna tell me what's up with you and Max" Maria said before taking a bite of the chocolate ice cream sitting in her lap.
"You get right to the point don't you? No, so how's school going? What hours are you working next week? Did you see this really amazing top I bought last week?" Liz said hoping to distract Maria.
"You always do perfect in school. In all the years I've known you, you've never gotten less then an A. If I wanted to know what hours you are working next week I'd go ask your Dad, and the top can wait. Now tell me, what's up with you and Max. I wanna know all the details about last night" Maria said.
"I pretty much told you everything. Roses, singing Max, my window. That’s about it."
"That’s it? He didn't stay after?"
"No, my Dad heard him so right after he finished the song he went home. That’s why I went to school early." Liz explained.
"So what happened that made you change your mind about him. I mean you spent the summer on the other side of the country just to avoid him. It had to be something huge that changed" Maria said.
"I guess finally realized I was being incredibly stupid by pushing Max away and If he went to all that trouble, he must loved me too but when I saw Tess in the car, for some reason it got to me and I couldn't stop crying. I knew he was just giving her a ride to school ,but I guess it reminded me that he'll never actually be mine. Tess will always have a hold on him and it’s a hold I can't possibly compete with" Liz said, as she tried to hide her sadness.
"You realize how silly that is right? Tess has no hold on Max! He despises her. He blames her for you leaving. You know how Max and I got closer over the summer right?" Maria asked. Liz just nodded.
"You know what he talked about the entire summer? How much he missed you and loved you and how he was worried he had messed up any chance with you. Basically, he talked about you. All summer, 'Liz, Liz, Liz'. By the end of July I was ready to choke him if he asked on more time if I had heard from you. It was truly pathetic. Any way, the whole summer, while Max was pining over you, Tess was being her annoying, clingy self, attaching her self to Max, and using any excuse to go any where with him. She all but followed him to the bathroom. Max ignored her the whole time. When she'd try to hold his hand, He'd, not so discreetly, remove it. He'd tell her he was busy every time she wanted to do something with him even thought everyone knew he was just sitting at home or at Michael's or the Crashdown missing you.
"Max had the whole summer to be with Tess if that as what he wanted. He didn't want her though, he wanted you. He held on to the hope that you would come back and realize that you loved him just as much as he loved you. It was what kept him going. What every hold Tess had on Max, it died the same time they did when they were on their home planet. If anyone has a hold on Max, it's you. I know that, you know, he knows that." Maria said trying to give Liz the push she needed to realizing Tess had no control over Max..
"I know. I know you're right, but part of me refuses to listen." Liz said, trying not to let tears fall again.
"Which part? You head? Don't listen to your head. It rationalizes too much. You'll never get any where listening to your head. If you heart is telling you to stay away, then stay cause your hart knows what best for you. Remember what gramma Claudia used to tell you?" Maria asked gently.
"Follow your heart."
"Exactly. Cause your heart will always lead you down the right path." Maria said as she gave Liz a hug. "Now, about that top." Maria said. Liz laughed.
An hour later Maria went home, and Liz went upstairs to her room. After saying good night to her parents, she retreated to her room. She set down her book bag desk to her chair and pulled out her notebook. Her eye's kept wandering off her work and towards the roses that were only a foot or two away from where she sat. When her eyes wandered to the flowers, her mind wandered to the person who gave them to her and she couldn't help but smile. For the second time in 24 hours Liz made the decision to be with Max. After hearing how much Max missed her and all the chances he had to be with Tess, Liz made up her mind and promised her self she would go though with it.
Liz waited in her first period class for Max to come. The first bell rang and students piled in to the class room but no Max. the tardy bell rang but still no Max. She glanced at the door every few seconds for the first 20 minutes of class before realizing Max wasn't coming. Immediately she wondered why and was worried something was wrong. The second the bell rang for her to leave she was out of the class and looking for Isabel or Michael or even Tess to find out what was wrong.
Liz found Isabel at her locker getting books for her next class and Liz felt some relief. If Isabel was there it couldn't be too serious. Could it?
"Isabel?" Liz asked
"Oh, hi Liz. Did you want something? I'm going to be late for Class and if I'm late one more time I'll get detention." Isabel said.
"I just wanted to know why Max wasn't in class. Did her sleep in or something?" Liz asked hoping it was something as simple as that.
"No, we got here 10 minutes before class started like we always do. Maybe he just didn't feel like going to class. Liz, I really gotta go now."
"Oh, sorry Isabel, thanks" Liz said with a confused look on her face.
Isabel felt horrible. Liz was one of the few people she thought of as a true friend and now she was lying to her. Isabel knew exactly why Max didn't go to class but she didn't tell Liz. Max didn't go cause Liz was there. He told her what happened the day before and how much it hurt him that Liz turned him down. Max told her that he was giving up on Liz. I thought that after everything he had done she would have taken him back but since she hadn't, he figured she really didn't want to be with him. She tired to tell him not to give up on her but he said that if she didn't want to be with him, he'd respect that and let her get on with her life.
Isabel didn't believe Liz didn't love Max anymore. You just don't fall out of that kind of love no matter what happens. Isabel made it her mission in life to get her brother and the love of his life back together. She made a turn towards the library, not caring about that detention anymore.
Max sat in the library pretending to study but it was useless. He just didn't care anymore. He had lost Liz. She was all that mattered to him and without her he saw no point in caring about anything anymore. All summer he went through the motion of being normal, and after she came back, he concentrated on getting her back, but after what had happened the day before, he gave up.
"Max" Isabel said in a quiet voice.
"Iz? What are you doing here? You have class." He said surprised to se his sister there.
"So do you?" She countered as she sat down next t him
"Yeah, well…. Why are you here?" He asked she he couldn't think of anything better to do.
"I just wanted to ask you a favor.' She said.
"Sure, what do you want?" He said expecting it was something like giving her a ride somewhere or loaning her some money to buy lunch.
"Don't give up on Liz." She said bluntly.
"Too late." He said
"Please. Just don't give up on her yet. She's still confused about the whole destiny thing. I know she still loves you."
"How do you know?" He asked not willing to open that door again.
"I just do. Just ask her to that concert one more time. I'm sure she'll say yes this time, but do it alone. Make sure there is no one else around." She said before standing up and grabbing her bag.
"Ok, fine but she's going to say no." He said with sadness in his voice.
"Don't let her. You need this?" She asked as she pointed to a sheet of paper with s few scribble on it.
"No. Why?" He asked Isabel just tore it in half, waved her hand over it turning it in to a tardy slip.
"I didn't want detention." She said as she left.
|posted on 18-Jul-2002 8:04:32 PM by Fluffie|
|Wow, im surprised anyone even remembers this fic. I had completely forgotten about it LOL|
Right now I'm working full time where I have no internet acess and Im am only on the computer for alimited amount of time a day. I'll re-read the fic this weekend and if I actually remembner where I was going with this whole thing, I write a new part. How does that sound?
|posted on 19-Jul-2002 1:35:19 PM by Fluffie|
|someones demanding today now aren't they?|
|posted on 19-Jul-2002 1:56:53 PM by Fluffie|
I know you're demanding Liz, no need to prove it. We all know......
|posted on 19-Jul-2002 3:20:38 PM by Fluffie|
|I'm aware of how demanding I am. I learned it from you....|