|posted on 17-Aug-2002 11:19:53 PM by LiLEvEe|
Title: Fairy Dreams
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.
Summary: AU. ML. Max POV.
“What’s wrong, Max?” her sweet voice calls out to my soul, making my heart flutter with just the thought of her.
I turn to her to see her staring up at me with love in her eyes. A beauty with long silky hair, flowing dress, soft skin. How could she love me? How?
“Max?” her smile falters and her eyes narrow slightly, questioningly.
And I? I cannot lie to her. It would be like plucking at the delicate feathery wings of a sweet seraph, a mortal sin against the gods. So, I tell her the truth. I tell her what my heart is beckoning for me to do. But I cannot bring myself to do it. “I want to hold you.”
Her smile returns, brightening the world, as she steps gracefully forward. “Then why don’t you?”
I step back, shaking my head, staring down at the palms of my hands before clenching my fists. I look back up at her and still see the love in her eyes. I shake my head. “My hands are dirty, tainted. I don’t deserve you. I cannot.”
But she steps forward, her voice rooting me to the ground. She has me under her spell once again with the simple sight of her sweet smile. “Max, it’s alright.”
Her arms go around me and I cannot stop from my arms around her, pulling her to me, surrounding myself with the feel of her. “I’ve missed you.”
She pulls back, blessing me with another smile. “I’ve missed you too, Max.”
My hands grip tighter around her waist, my gaze lowers.
“What’s wrong?” the worry returns to her voice but I can only stare at her, gaze at her pretty face, and lose myself in her eyes.
My eyes squeeze shut, my lip quivers and I pull her savagely into my arms. “You’re so perfect, so gorgeous. It just isn’t possible for the heavens to allow me to have you. You shouldn’t have to be with someone as unworthy as me. I’ve wronged you, Liz.” And I hold her tighter. Waiting for her to push me away. Waiting for her to walk away from me and out of my life forever.
But she doesn’t. “I know, Max. I know.” She just lets me hold her, comforting me when I should be the last person she should want to comfort, the last person she should want holding her.
So I let the shameful tears come forth. “I’m sorry. I am so sorry.”
“Shh… it’s alright.” She pulls away from me, turning and staring out the horizon before turning back towards me. “The sun is rising. I need you to close your eyes, Max.”
And I do. I’d do anything she wanted. I can feel her hand on my cheek. “Just close your eyes and concentrate, Max. I need you to just try to remember. Just try…”
I shoot up from bed with a start, drenched in sweat, heart beating fast, breathing shallow. I had the dream again. It was her. I quickly reach onto the nightstand, grabbing paper and pencil and trying my best to think, to try to imagine her, her face, the place, anything. But I can’t. I can just barely recall her voice, calling out to me.
I stare at the empty page for another half hour or so before I finally give up, throwing the paper aside and burying myself in the covers of my bed, alone. I had the dream again. It was her. But I can never remember who she was.
[ edited 2 time(s), last at 2-Jan-2003 1:05:38 AM ]
|posted on 18-Aug-2002 3:35:45 PM by LiLEvEe|
So I haven’t really been around, but here’s the low down/update/excuses for my stories:
ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE: Hah! I don’t have any update for this story because I’m done with it. Hehehe!!! It feels awesome to actually have one completed. God, you have no idea how happy I am that I have one story done and in the bag. And Destinee ((Sherry)) made me a banner for it. And it is pretty awesome so check it out. I think I’m going to have to bother her again at a later date for banners for my other stories, maybe.
THE DENIAL GAME: I have nothing. I honestly do not have a thing for this story. Well, that’s a lie. I have how I want to start the next chapter but not sure of what it will be like. I know what I want, but I can’t put it down. Does that make any sense? I have other future scenes to this story written, but it’s hard to fill in the gaps and/or find bridges to connect them. It’s hard to get the characters transitioned from one situation to another without screwing up anywhere in between. But believe me, I do want to get another part out. It’s not that I don’t want it, it’s that I don’t know how. And I have so many people emailing me and new readers telling me that they want new parts, but it’s hard because I don’t know how to get another part out. I hate that I only get a new part out once a month too, but that has just been how long it’s been taking for the story to want to move forward. Ahh!!! It’s frustrating.
HARVEST MOON: I know I’ve really been neglecting this story with my focus being more on The Denial Game and Accept the Challenge since I started this story. But I am starting it again. I actually do have the next part of this story, chapter seven, halfway done. And I’ve had it for about a week now. But the problem is, is that the part is typed up on my sister’s laptop. And my sister loaned her laptop out to someone and now I can’t get that part from it. And I have tried to rewrite it. But I haven’t been able to reconstruct it. I don’t remember what I wrote. And since this story is so slow paced and layed back, I don’t think I will remember. And I would just finish up the second half of the chapter and wait for my sister to get her laptop back and then just connect the pieces and post it, but I can’t remember what happened or where I even left it off at. So I don’t know what to do. But I do want to get a part to this out even before I get a new part to The Denial Game out. And I want this storyline to move along, but I can’t. It’s very upsetting.
FAIRY DREAMS: My new story. I know some may be upset that I have started a new story, but I couldn’t help it. I was starting to try to reconstruct a chapter to Harvest Moon and this came out of it. And I have a pretty clear idea as to where I want this to go. And I know that I said that three stories is too much for me to handle, and it is, but I just feel more comfortable to have three stories there to lean on. So if I get blocked and can’t think up a part for The Denial Game or for Harvest Moon, I can always turn to this one. Just like when I had Accept the Challenge. But now Accept the Challenge is done and over with, I had to create another one. And I have to redo my signature thingy. I think I’m going to get rid of my ATC link and add Fairy Dreams on there. And I have to find a new line graphic because my dog went haywire. So. I have homework and school to deal with right now, but I am going to try to get part one out for this story. Because the prologue is very confusing and leaves people with nothing. But that’s how all of my stories seem to be, huh? And since I’m blocked on TDG and HM, I’ll probably work on this one when I have spare time. Which, doesn’t look like I will be having any this week. My week is packed.
THE LAYER #$⊕%: This is the Max POV to The Denial Game. I actually do have the Max companion to chapter fourteen written and part of chapter one and part of the prologue. But I will be waiting until I get two chapters away from completing TDG to release it. But I still plan on writing this story though. I think I have to. It will make TDG kind of incomplete if I don’t. But this is my plan for it: I will try my best to get through TDG the best I can. And I will complete The Denial Game up to two chapters away, meaning I will be leaving the story incomplete of the last two chapters. And then I will be starting The Layer #$⊕%. And I when I reach the last two chapters, I will post those two chapters simultaneously because I don’t want to give the ending away in the Denial Game because then you won’t be surprised in The Layer #$⊕%. And the reason why I have the #$⊕% is because I don’t want to give that word away because it will give some of the story away. Or at least I think it will. Anyway…
And that is it. That is my story rank of priorities, excluding Accept the Challenge, because that one is completed and done with. So my story priority is:
-The Denial Game
-The Layer #$⊕%
I hope that’s fine with everyone. I think people like The Denial Game the best anyway since that is the story that I receive the most feedback for per chapters. I’ve noticed that. On my table of contents for the story at the front of the story, the gaps between the story pages are increasing a great deal. Okay, that’s just something I’ve noticed. That’s all I have to say I think. Hmm…
Oh, this is the note I’m leaving on every story so you don’t have to go through and look at each and hopefully, you’ll catch one of them.
THANK YOU everyone for your patience and for reading and for sticking with me. I will try my best to update for you all. THANK YOU AGAIN. I really, really appreciate all of the support that you give me, even though I’ve been really lacking in the updates and things. THANK YOU!!!
Accept The Challenge
The Denial Game
|posted on 2-Sep-2002 3:07:33 PM by LiLEvEe|
“Max, dear, will you come inside for one second?” She was standing at the door, a smile on her face with the simple dress that she always wore on.
And me? Of course, I came running. What else would you do? She was the first woman I ever loved. And also the only woman at the time. After all, I was only ten. “Yes, mum?”
“Would you mind running into town and buying me a loaf of bread for dinner?” She leans down closer to me, digging into her pocket and holding out her small money sack.
My face lights up with the excitement of just thinking about it. “Really? All by myself?”
“If you think you’re big enough.” She gave me a wink.
I nod my head so hard, taking the money from her. “Oh, I am!”
“Okay then. Hurry back and be careful.” She ruffles my hair and kisses me on the cheek.
“I will, mama.” And I run off as fast I can before she can change her mind. It was the first time she had ever let me go off by myself, and I was thrilled. I remember running through the leaves, my fingers gripping tightly at the sack of coins.
I stopped once I reached the top of the hill, at the wide creek, at our thin makeshift bridge log that connected our small cottage to the other side of the woods and to the nearest town. I stopped and I looked back, waving to her. She waved back, giving me a bright smile, the one that just lit up her face and let the rest of the world see her happiness. The one she always saved just for me.
That was the last time I saw her smile. It was the last time I saw her at all. When I came back to our small cottage, over our thin makeshift bridge, a loaf of bread in my arms, she wasn’t there. Our home was ransacked, everything thrown about, table turned over, and plates broken on the ground. She was gone. And I was alone, at ten, left to fend for myself.
I never found out what happened to her, my mother. But that was eight years ago. And this was now. She wasn’t there anymore, but I lived on, in our small cabin in the middle of the woods, alone.
I went into town every now and then, but not often. I would never talk to the people. I would just get what I needed and left. I didn’t have much and I knew it had to last. But it wasn’t as though I was unhappy in my small cottage, alone. I busied myself, reading and drawing.
I was positive the townspeople saw me strange. I’ve heard the odd names they’ve donned me, the hermit boy or the forest elf. But I simply turned my head the other way, got what I need, and left. My place wasn’t among them, and I knew that. I was happy in my small cabin, alone.
So I dreaded having to venture over my thin makeshift bridge log into town. Having to remind myself that my place wasn’t among these people upon seeing all of the colorful stores and the sweet smelling bakery. I had to remind myself that my place was in my small cabin, alone, when I saw a group of girls, pointing and whispering among themselves.
And it reminded me more of why I dreaded going into town. Because my place wasn’t among the fine clothes and the sweet smelling foods. My place was in my small cottage, alone. And I just had to get what I needed and leave. I turned my head away from the snickers and the pointing and headed straight into the store I needed.
The door hit a small bell as I opened it and it jingled, sending out the shop clerk.
“May I help you?” She was an older woman, tight, pale skin, her gray hair slicked back in a bun, with her nose high in the air. These were the people I feared.
“Yes. I was looking for some cloth.” I walk up to her.
A forced fake smile appears on her face. “Well, sir. We’ve recently received a new shipment of fine silks.”
She pulls out a bundle for me to see and my hand runs over it, letting my fingers feel the smooth fabric before looking away from it and up at the shop keeper again.
“Actually, I was looking for something a bit… plainer.”
She looks at me and the scowl appears back on her face. “Oh. Well. The cheapest thing we have is this.” She pulls out a rough, brown bundle of cloth.
“This is fine. Six yards please.” I really shouldn’t be buying more cloth. It’s only been a few years since I made these last pair of pants, but I’ve been growing so much lately, my legs are far too long to fit into them anymore.
She measures out six yards but doesn’t even bother wrapping it up for me. “That’ll be seven gold coins.”
I look down at the moving sack in my hand, and pull it out for her hopefully. “I’m sorry, all I have is this.”
But her scowl grows even more and she looks just about ready to yell at me. “What am I to do with a duck?”
I pull the sack back to my side and try to plead again. “I could really use this cloth.”
“I can see that. Look, go to the butcher and see what you can get for this… thing. And don’t come back here unless you’ve got money.”
I nod my head and go out the door and down the street, ignoring the gossips along the way, and step up to the butcher’s window.
“Excuse me, how much can I get for this duck?”
He stops chopping away at whatever meat that it was that was on the counter and looks at me. He was a tubby man, with hair all over, blood smeared on his apron.
He wipes his hands somewhat and walks up to me, eyeing my duck. “What are you selling it for?”
And I hand the duck to him. “I need seven gold coins to pay the shop keeper.” I don’t ask for more, just enough that I need.
“Seven?” He’s turning the duck over in his hairy hands, as if to weighing the price.
“Yes, sir,” I nod my head slightly.
“I’ll give you six,” he eyes me, one eyebrow raised.
“But I need seven.”
He shakes his head. “Six is the most I’ll give you.” And he goes through his pocket and counts out six coins, handing them to me.
I thank him and take the money graciously, ignoring the fact that the duck was worth well over fifteen gold coins and that the butcher would just turn back around and sell it to someone for over twenty, I hold the money in my hand and walk back over towards the shop, the bell jingling as the door hit it as it opened.
The shopkeeper has the forced smile on her face again until she sees that it’s me, and then she scowls. “Have you got the money?”
“Yes, ma’am.” I nod my head and place the money on the counter.
She glances down and glances back up. “This is only six coins.”
“That’s all the butcher would give me.”
The scowl on her face grows more, crossing her arms over her chest. “Well, six coins won’t get you six yards of cloth.”
My legs have gotten a bit long, but maybe I can just stretch the cloth a bit and sew the scraps back in. “Will it buy me five and a half yards?”
“We don’t sell cloth by the half yard.”
And I sigh, because there’s nothing I can do. Five yards just won’t be enough. “Thank you, but I think I won’t buy it then. May I have my money, please?”
“Here.” She pushes the money back and I pick each coin up, counting them in my head.
“But this is only five coins.”
“I took one coin for wasting my time. Now, leave.” She points to the door, her lips pursed, her annoyance evident in the wrinkles on her tight skinned face.
But I nodded my head, bidding her a good day before heading out the door and out of the town with its colorful stores and sweet smelling foods, reminding myself that this was why I dreaded going into town. Because my place wasn’t among the finely clothed people with their high noses and pale skin. My place was in my small cottage, alone.
|posted on 23-Sep-2002 9:11:44 PM by LiLEvEe|
I am so terribly sorry. I know I really haven't been keeping up with my quota of new parts. And I'm terribly sorry. Good news is that I do have a computer in my possession now. It's a temporary computer that my uncle sent up for me to get by with until he can fix mine. IF he can fix mine. But the bad news is that my parts to The Denial Game and its companion Max POV is this on the broken computer. And my part to Harvest Moon is still on my sister's laptop, which she loaned out and has still not gotten back yet. I don't want to get another part out for Fairy Dreams until a while. I need the story to develop more in my head. And those are all of the stories that I have. I truly do want to get a new part out, and soon. But this week is homecoming week and also the last week of the six weeks. Which means that I am booked completely with things to do. And I have to go see Sweet Home Alabama on Friday. I have a car wash this saturday, but I'm hoping to be able to work on something afterwards and on Sunday. If I can't get out something for The Denial Game, I'm hoping to at least get something out for Fairy Dreams. So... thank you for putting up with me and thank you for being so patient.
|posted on 27-Oct-2002 8:31:04 PM by LiLEvEe|
Here’s what’s going on…
The Denial Game: I’ve started the next chapter for those of you who are interested. And I think if I work on it when I have free time, I’ll be done with it by maybe next week. So that is my goal of having it finished. Though, hopefully, I’ll have it done by then. And the only reason I’m working on it now and not waiting another month to work on it is because I’m taking up Fixius’s offer. Yes, that’s it. That is my excuse. So Fixius, get to working!!
Harvest Moon: I found the story. It is in the Conventional Couples section. I think I’m going to try to get it moved to the dreamer section since I like that section better. And it’s pretty much a ML story. Sadly, I have not finished the next chapter to it yet. I’ve been more focused on The Denial Game, which should make some of you happy.
Fairy Dreams: I will probably do to this story what I did to Harvest Moon when I was still writing Accept the Challenge. This story will be feeling neglected and alone until I finish one of the stories and it moves up in my ladder of importance.
The Layer #$&⊕: I still do not have my computer fixed. It is still miles and miles away at my uncle’s house. So I don’t have anything that I had typed for this story. If I cannot get my computer back, there will not be a Max POV because the parts that I had written for this story, I doubt I will ever be able to recreate. Sadly, my short term memory does not allow me to do such.
So there it is. I’m working on The Denial Game right now. So either a couple more pages of feedback or updates for Fixius’s COMPLEXITY or HOLLOW and I’ll be a happy camper.
|posted on 2-Jan-2003 12:21:55 AM by LiLEvEe|
I will be updating this soon. In fact, I'm working on the next chapter right now.