posted on 23-Aug-2002 9:58:41 AM by DMatahari
Life Imitates Art... or Fanfiction

By: Matahari

Disclaimer: If I owned Roswell, season 2 would never have happened. This follows Roswell up to a point. Post-departure, but Alex is still alive.

Classification: M/L, maybe others. At least PG-13

Summary: Liz writes fanfiction for her favorite show. Unknowingly to the both of them, Max is one of her loyal readers. Max undergoes hypnosis and when he proceeds to act out one of his "fantasies" things start to happen.

Author's Note: I wrote this story for the other board and never got around to finishing it/posting it on this one. It basically has a mix of humor/foreplay/biology *happy* Hope you enjoy it! Since it's been so long the reposting is new to most of you, or at least been so long that most have forgotten it *happy*

Prologue- Liz's POV

There have been many immortal questions such as, "Which came first? The chicken or the egg?", "What is the meaning of life?" and the question that is going to be focused on in this story, "Does art imitate life or is it the other way around?". There are many specifics which need to be focused on.

There's the evidence of life experience, creativity, imagination, and the ability to communicate these things so that others can understand. There's the magic that just happens when you're up late at night and all of a sudden an idea strikes your brain like a piano lands on Wiley Coyote. However, when things start to get a little weird and reality is knowledge of the existence of extraterrestrials (all of whom are gifted with good looks), near-death experiences, alien clones, and a bunch of other wacky out-of-this-world type phenomena, you start to doubt whether this is an illusion. Whether this is your brain saying, "Hey! You there! You thought Ray Bradbury was good? My imagination can top him with a snap of your fingers and have you actually believe it!"

At least it has it's own sense of humor. I find it incredibly ironic that I can find a show fascinating enough to write fanfiction about when all the stuff that's going on here is fact. I suppose that I like the control that I can have with all the characters whereas in the here and now I actually am one. The thing is... I don't have a script, cue cards, the salary, or the ability to make my own happy ending. In my real life, I have a journal where I write down everything that happens. In my other life that exists only through the internet, I make lives happen through writing.

So here I am. Liz Parker. Due to my not having a life in exchange for saving the world, here I am in front of the computer again. My computer is my friend. Those happy keys that go clickety clack with every letter, number or punctuation mark that will give me carpal tunnel syndrome if I'm not careful, the screen that will probably cause me to start giving a weird glow when I reach the age of 70, and a temperamental mouse that once in awhile goes completely wacko. Some people say that it's got character. Those people are completely too polite for their own good. It's flawed. I deal with it. That's all I can do since I work as a waitress at my family owned restaurant, The Crashdown and I'm not exactly made of cash.

You should see the outfits we wear! There aren't any male waiters either. I think it's my dad's repressed adolecense showing through. What else would promote wearing a short teal dress with sliver lining, antennae headbands, and an apron in the shape of an alien head covering up your lower abdomen to the end of your (I repeat short) dress. It could be a marketing ploy come to think of it. What normal teenage guy wouldn't want to share in a dining experience with alien-themed food and live the fantasy of having female alien slaves? By george I think I've got it! Now that that theory's covered on to the next problem.

My problem's got a name. It's name is Max Evans. It didn't notice it was a problem until recently. You see, it was being very sneaky. It dressed up in this garb of romance and true love mush that made my head spin and made me think I was on cloud nine. It made me believe that I understood Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet on a whole new level. It made my heart beat like conga drums and made me feel that my legs were replaced with jello molds of themselves. Then all of a sudden shifted into this mutating monster that lost control and tried to take over the world! Haha... no that didn't really happen. Just joking with you. Trying to keep you all on your toes. Although I have to admit, it wasn't what I thought it was.

Oh wait... I'm calling Max Evans an it. Just to clear up confusion, Max Evans is not a dog (in the literal sense anyway). He is truly human... err... Well, umm... a mix of alien and human to be more precise. I can't get the exact ratio at the moment, but there are times when I dream about using a sub-atomic particle beam to test my other theory that maybe Max Evans can act like a starfish and regenerate. I have a lot of theories. This assumption is due to the fact that Max Evans act like completely two different people at times. He already has a duplicate, I think that's enough personalities until he can be diagnosed a schizophrenic. But, where are my manners? It wouldn't be good to mess up human/alien relations past the point they are now by blowing up their King. Not even in the name of science. Pity.

So, since I can't blow up Max Evans on a daily basis, all my angst, torture, and repression goes into my writing. So, I suppose the readers are lucky that Max Evans is alive because he is, in a way, my inspiration. By the way, I wish he wasn't. I wish I didn't care. Rats. Now I feel bad again. Time for some nookie for my dream couple. That'll make it a little bit better... for now. I'm thinking waterfalls. I'm thinking minimal clothing. Max with a speedo... Get out of my head Max Evans! Sigh. Oh well, I might as well indulge a little bit. My computer's not going anywhere... and maybe I'll get some inspiration...

[ edited 10time(s), last at 27-Oct-2002 6:38:30 PM ]
posted on 23-Aug-2002 10:02:34 AM by DMatahari
~Part 1~ Max's POV

As I look around the room I hear nothing from my house. Good. Let's have a man count. Isabel's with Alex on a date. Mom and dad are going to be at work. After I lock my door and close the blinds to my windows, I start the logging on to AOL. My modem goes at a snail's pace... not even that fast. It goes at the rate of a banana slug. Did you know those things just mate with the first other banana slug they meet because they only move so much? It's like "Whoa baby, you've found another one of your species! You're the man or woman...err... hermaphrodite!" This is what I get for spending so much time with Liz. My thoughts turn towards banana slugs. Liz... Well, after that little bit of wishful thinking back to the computer.

I've tried to convince my parents to get a cable modem or dsl, but my requests are falling on deaf ears. This could be the fact that they hardly ever use the computer. After it goes through supreme pain (that's the only thing that can explain that unearthly screeching sound the modem makes) I hear a cheery, "Welcome!". I'm wondering how much they pay that person. Back to my mission though. Did I explain that I had a mission? I've found myself addicted to fanfiction for this show. There's one particular author who's story I love. It's like we're kindred spirits. Kindred REPRESSED spirits. I quickly type in the address to the board and I scan through the titles. There it is! "Dreamy Fantasies", yes I know it's a cheesy title, but you should read what she writes. It's what I need since I don't have Liz. She's the only one I could ever love. So now I'm reverting to reading about it instead of actually doing. Oh wait! Look at the time... I've got to go!

I'm going to a therapist... I WISH I were going to a therapist. I've passed that phase. I just tell everyone else that's where I'm going. A therapist is normal. I'm not. I'm now on to a hypnotist. Why you ask? Because Liz Parker hates me and I hate myself. I've done horrible things to her, things I can never take back. Things such as losing my virginity to an evil alien seductress who almost caused Alex to die because of one mindwarp too many just so she could go home to sell us all out.

At least the baby wasn't real... right before she was beamed up into outerspace, I suppose she lost hold of the mindwarp and her stomach's swelling went down and I realized she had been lying all along. I could blame losing my virginity on another mindwarp too, but that would be lying to myself. Mindwarps are sort of like hypnotism... you can't force anyone to do what they totally wouldn't want to do. Alex would have tried to help us decode the book if we had just asked, and Amy didn't want to believe that aliens really existed. Kyle didn't want to believe that the girl he thought of as a sister was a fiend.

Now for my explanation. Why would I do that to Liz? My soulmate? The person I've loved since the moment our eyes connected? As much as I'm supposed to be a King of Antar, I'm also a teenage boy. I was ruled by hormones and by the anger and resentment that Liz had betrayed me. That bottled up with "I wouldn't die for you" from Liz even after I had saved her life was all I could take. I was hurt. My heart felt like a million tons. I know I should have seen that she was lying, but I couldn't see past her and Kyle together in bed. I was blinded by appearances. That's what was meant for me to see wasn't it? And Tess. She was there for me. So, naturally... I turned to her.

If I had just confronted Liz when I had sensed something was wrong, none of this would have happened... well, except Tess being evil. I guess nothing could have stopped that. I should have made her tell me. I should have made her listen. That's why I'm here today. Here is a lit office when a hanging plant in the right hand corner, a huge leather couch and a desk and chair set. The name on the desk reads, "Dr. Stephen Morales". Enter Dr. Steve. He seems nice enough. I don't know whether he's nice enough to trust my brain cells to, but there's really no other option. I need to fix this with Liz. I'm willing to try anything.

"Ok Max, are you still sure you want to do this?"

Positive"

"I'm going to start counting from 1 to 10 and you're going to relax more for me, ok?"

"Ok"

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10... Max, once you feel that you need to take action, you will follow through taking care of the appropriate moral consequences. Now that's about it. I'm going to count from 10 to 1 now and when I snap my fingers you'll awaken. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1"

Whoa... that was some weird dream... "So doctor, that's it?"

"You've got it. You can go home now"

"Thanks."

I ride back home in my jeep and follow the fanfiction reading ritual. Oh my...

"She slowly straddled his body and caressed their lower parts against each other. As the water flowed over her hair, it created little streams over his neck and his chest... all the way down to the red speedo that was his only covering. He then let out a small groan into her ear. She writhed against him, slowly leaving searing kisses from the top of his earlobe to the nape of his neck. Finally finding her place, she settled down there and started to grasp little bits of his skin through sucking on it..."

This was why she was his favorite author... Now, what he usually did was take a cold shower after reading something like that and wished that he could do that with Liz. Today, something different happened. What's that about wishing to actually do that with Liz? I can actually try it! Today was the day of new beginnings... now, where could he find a waterfall in the desert?
posted on 23-Aug-2002 10:03:52 AM by DMatahari
~Part 2~ Liz's POV

I'm fulfilling the stereotype of a teenager by going to the mall. So here I am, where the food consists of either fried stuff, sandwiches, ice cream, a whole bunch of other junk food or salads. It's not exactly the picture of health. But then again, my family owns the Crashdown... so I can't really say anything. Maria had convinced me to come with her because Michael had to work the whole day.

She can so easily guilt-trip me into anything it's not even funny. It's because she knows my secret. That whole other life of repressed sex fiend is connected by one single thread named Maria to goody-two-shoes, A student, Liz Parker. First we tried out that place where they have the massage chairs. Mmmm... wonderful what technology has done these days. With a simple touch of a remote control you're thinking, "What do we need men for?". I wish guys had remote controls... ooh the things I would make Max do... wait. Did I just say Max? I meant... searching for name of a hot, sexy actor/model... Jason Behr. Yeah.. that's who I meant. Max must have just crossed my mind because of the whole "What we need men for?" comment.

Maria's looking at me like I have an alien on my head. I guess I've been a little too lost in thought. It's all right though. I'm allowed to be quieter than most people because they think I'm studious. However, Maria knows better. She hasn't been my best friend for years for nothing. I tell her that I'm just really enjoying the massage and she lifts that eyebrow of hers and says, "Maybe you're enjoying it a little too much, Liz".

"I can stop anytime I want!" I reply jokingly

"I think you've had enough, miss." Maria says in a mock stern voice.

"Ok. Ok," I grumble. "Can't you let me have any fun?"

"Liz, just because you don't have Max anymore, does not mean that the next best thing is a vibrating leather chair."

"You'd think that wouldn't you?" I say, giving a smirk. Maria and I look each other straight in the eyes and burst out laughing. Maybe this was a good idea after all. Maybe I can figure out a way to make my fanfiction have a remote controlled male... my mind is so in the gutter.

Maria looks down to her waist. "Oh great. That's me. Hello? What happened? Huh? Umm.. ok sure." After Maria puts away her cell phone she says, "My mom needs some help at the store... apparently a whole bunch of tourists decided to ambush her at the same moment that she and Jim were going out on a date to that new restaurant that opened up, 'Chez Pierre'." Maria sticks her tongue out looking disgusted and amused at the same time. "I gotta run chica. You could stay around here and veg awhile and let's say we meet over at the fountain on the 1st floor at about 5ish?"

"Umm... sure. Come back. Soon!" I answered. I was trying to keep the desperation out of my voice. Great. 3 whole hours to myself. What was I supposed to do? Oh wait... there was always the old standby. People watching. People watching is a refined art. You have to notice WHO the people are with, WHAT they're wearing and doing, and HOW they got here. The how isn't necessarily as important or easy to find as the previous two. Wow, Pam Troy and Tommy were together sharing a milkshake. Oh wait... is it? It is! He just performed a successful arm-over-shoulder move. I'd say that was worth at least 4 stars out of five. This is where the rumor mill begins before it ends up as the finished product in school.

Ok, Bath and Body Works, Payless Shoes...50% off? No... the next pair of shoes when you buy one of equal or higher value. Well, why didn't you just say that in the first place!, men's clothing store... hey! Rewind. Was that just Max Evans there in the swimsuit section? Is that him taking out a speedo? Oh. My. Maybe I'm too far away. It's probably some other dark haired, finely chiseled hunk of man trying on the speedo. But I can't accept that simple excuse. The store is right next to the fountain so I'd be able to be on time to meet Maria. The scientist in me has to know for sure... and well, I've always wanted to pretend to be in Mission Impossible. As I crouch behind a bunch of angora sweaters I start to hum, "dum dum da da dum dum dadadada dum dum da da dum dum..."

"Excuse me, Miss?"

"Umm..." I look down embarrassed. It seems that I wasn't as stealth as I thought I was. "I was... I was just thinking about what my boyfriend's waist size would be and I know that it's about two of my feet... so I was measuring. It's supposed to be a birthday present.. and I've never shopped for something like this before..." I was babbling and all that stuff I said? I just pulled that out of my butt. However, in some miraculous way, the person believed me! I suppose a lot of girls must have been thrust into the same situation.

"Well, what exactly are you looking for?" he kindly asked.

"Speedos." when the word came out of my mouth I was so embarrassed. It was the first thought that came to mind. I made a mental note to kill Maria when she got back. I smiled weakly to the salesperson and while he lead me over to the swimsuit section, my eyes darted back and forth across the store. Thankfully, Max wasn't to be found. I guess he had went into the fitting rooms... which meant that at any moment he could come out. "Umm.. do you think I could, you know, try it on my feet?" The salesguy looked totally bewildered, but agreed.

Whoa baby. If you thought sneaking into the boy's bathroom in school was a rush, you have to try a men's fitting room. I turns out that Max was the only one there judging from the obvious slits in the doors. I could hear him muttering while I snuck into the fitting room next to his. Something about "a little too confining", "I'm not sure... right color for me"

Ok. I just have to have a peek. Since when did I become such a voyeurist? Since Max Evans slept with an evil alien attempted murderer with blond curly hair. Oh yeah, I think this should be a little bit of my compensation. I deserve it after having to deal with that, don't you think? At least that's my rationalization. Umm.. maybe I shouldn't have. Why did he have to choose red? Out of all the colors of the rainbow? The speedo left nothing to the imagination, especially since Max seemed to be in his own world all of the sudden and started to rub his bulge unconsciously. It was almost like he was having a wonderful daydream. I cringed, thinking that it could be Tess he was thinking about. Oh... is it getting a little hot in here? I was flushed. I slowly unbuttoned my sweater top and placed it around my waist. I told myself to look away, but I just couldn't. I was rooted to the spot. And I thought there was nothing left to the imagination. Clearly I was wrong. There was A LOT that Max Evans was hiding. That boy was way more than average... Deep breaths Liz.... control yourself.

"Oh... Liz.. more. I need you..."

What? What did he just say? Did he just say LIZ? Well, I didn't have to let the question hang in my mind for long because all of a sudden in a low guttural tone he moaned, "Yes Liz! Yes! Oh yes!"

I suddenly realized that Max was going to come out soon so I quickly took action. Running out and handing the speedos to the salesguy mumbling something about getting a tie, I went towards the other side of the fountain.

I saw Max with his hair slicked slightly and the red speedos bunched in his hand. He sort of tucked them into his pocket and handing the salesperson some money and started to walk swiftly away. At that particular moment, the fountain spray was turned off. I was desperate... I was hot... I fell into the fountain.

"Umm.. chica? Why are you bonding with the pennies?" Maria had also chosen this exact time to return and share in my humiliation.

"I was hot."

"There's air conditioning."

"Maybe something needs to be fixed." I replied and asked, "Umm... could you help me up now please?"
posted on 24-Aug-2002 5:23:15 PM by DMatahari
Author's Note

Thanks to Fallin Angels, SansuCry, Wench on a Leash, aZNroSweLl anglgrl, roswellluver, ps_dreamer, and RosWool! *happy*

I've read Sansu's, Christina's and Carolyn's work and I have to say they're terrific! You should all read them!

Fallin Angels- Thanks for remembering me!

Sansu- I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up with Eyes of Fear! First thing tomorrow I'm going to finish up from where I left off... *happy* and leave feedback!

Christina *happy* I'm glad you liked that part! I'm a people watcher too!

ps_dreamer Thanks for the compliment!

I decided to make little names for each part, and I've just started writing part 9. On the old board I had written up to part 7. This way I'll have a nice pace to keep on writing. I was going to hold out until Sunday, but you guys deserve the next part!

~Part 3- aka. The Abduction~ Max's POV

I can't believe what took over me back there. One minute I was trying on these umm... swimwear and then next, wham bam, here I am in a dressing room finding that I just gratified myself to physical completion. I mean, what if there were cameras! That's also the reason why I couldn't possibly use my powers to clean the... ok. I admit it! I was trying on speedos! Happy now? Good.

I also couldn't possibly hand over them stained (thanks to my sudden hormonal overload) to the salesperson so I sort of just handed him a bunch of money and said keep the change. I don't think I've been more embarrassed in my entire life! I was just thinking about Liz and a waterfall and my fulfilling all of her deepest desires... and I was imagining her hands... I just know she has wonderful hands. I think you get the picture. Hey wait a minute. There's something going on in the fountain. Is that... Liz?! What's she doing over there? I immediately feel myself getting hard again. Great.

"You don't ever get tired when Liz is around do you?" I mutter, looking down. Women are cursed with menstruation and guys are cursed with hard-ons that appear when you wish they didn't. While women only get theirs for once a month, guys suffer with this... well, the rate varies. Do you know how difficult it is to go to the bathroom in the morning when instead of the usual aiming mechanism it's just one straight rod? You can't do two things at once. So, if you have to go to the bathroom... you can't wait until you're finished with... err... pleasuring yourself. But why am I explaining this for? There's a drenched Liz Parker just within reach and she just happens to be wearing a white tank top.

"Don't worry, Maria, I've got her." I say as I lift up Liz next to my chest.

"What are you doing!?" Liz hissed into my ear.

"I'm helping you up, and if that just so happens to involve enjoying the pleasure of your body next to mine, so much the better." I lower my voice a little further and whisper tickling her ear, "The only reason why I'm not ravishing you at this moment is because of the number of people here." I enjoy the fact that she involuntarily shivers and with slightly darkened eyes she glares back at me.

"You wish, Max Evans. Maybe on your planet, being a King signifies you can take any woman you please, but not on Earth, not in this century, and certainly not me." she retorts venomously. Too venomously. I straighten up and proclaim to Maria, "I'll be taking Liz home."

"What!? Who came up with that decision?!" Liz is struggling now but thanks to daily pull-ups and a little alien power, she's no match for me.

I glance pleadingly at Maria and she shrugs amusedly. "Sorry chica, yours and Max's need for a talk has been long overdue. Believe me, it's for the best."

Liz sorts of gives this groan of defeat and in a strangled cry replies, "And you call yourself my best friend! You know, after this, I'm seriously going to consider bumping you down a notch and having make-up parties with Alex instead!" Quickly realizing that she won't be getting outside reinforcements, I see the wheels start to turn in her head. "Max Evans! Put me down right now or I will tell the whole world you're an alien!" she hisses in my ear. So passionate. So intense. I want her so badly...

"And I'd tell the whole world that you were my chosen mate so at least I'd have you with me," I reply calmly.

"It wouldn't be my choice," she grumbles, finally accepting her fate.

I've managed to get Liz into the Jeep without any lasting scars. There's bound to be a few nail marks where she was holding onto my neck while I was walking, but nothing major. However, the huge thing here is that Liz Parker was in my arms again! Let me just relish that fact for a moment. Sure, she's not coming willingly... but that will change. I'm positive.

Things aren't going as planned. I suppose it's wrong to think that Liz would be begging me to take her, but I at least expected her to blow up at me or something! Nothing is happening though. Once she had set herself up into the seat-belt, she had turned her head away from me and started looking out the window. It's not like she was looking for any particular things either... it was sort of a blank stare at a certain point about 6 inches away from her face. Not that I'm an egomaniac or anything, but I thought that I was a least more interesting than an invisible dot in space. I try to start up a conversation. "So, Liz... what happened between us?"

"Tess."

"Oh." Maybe this was a bad idea. I try again. "I've missed you." She sort of turns slightly and her eyes get this softer look to them. My heart lifts a little only to see the eyes grow cold once again.

"Good to know." She goes back to looking out her window when she realizes something. "Hey, this isn't the way to the Crashdown!"

"I know."

"Why aren't we going there? You do remember where I live don't you?"

"Too many witnesses." I reply. Maybe that was the wrong response. She's now staring at me trying to determine if I have serial killer/rapist tendencies.

"And what do you intend to do with me?"

"Play with the sprinklers?" I answer, complete with puppy dog eyes.
posted on 26-Aug-2002 10:07:35 AM by DMatahari
Author's Note
Feedback thanks goes to RosWool, Gabrielle, marteloise
JaneLane, SansuCry, roswellluver, MoonLily, aZNroSweLl anglgrl, TrueLoveConquersAll, ps_dreamer, NATEVANS, dreamerforever88
, and last, but not least, Wench on a Leash!

You're the best feedbackers an author could want!

Gabrielle, marteloise, JaneLane, MoonLily, NATEVANS, dreamerforever88: Welcome to the story! I hope you enjoy!

TrueLoveConquersAll: I'm glad you found it again *happy*

I think I will be trying to post every Monday Wish me luck!

~Part 4 aka. I HATE Hormones!~ Liz's POV

Oh no! It's coming... there it is! The look. The one with the puppy dog eyes! I didn't think he would sink so low! I should have known better after his most recent stunt. You know, while I was fulfilling the stereotype of teenager by going to the mall, he was fulfilling the stereotype of alien, by abducting me!

He should really have those eyes insured. They've probably won over many a Christmas present, birthday present, and gotten him out of thousands of childhood mistakes. I am getting the now refined and most expert puppy dog eyes that he has ever performed in the 18 years he's been alive and I feel my barricades slowly being penetrated. No Liz! You know this look! Be strong! This is the guy that lost his virginity to Tess, not you! This is the guy that embarrassed you by carrying you out of the mall in his arms in front of dozens of shoppers! This is the guy that... looked really hot in those speedos.

Ugh! These hormones... these chemical signals that pass through my synapses... Why are they here to torture me? I personally HATE hormones! If it wasn't for these things I would be able to concentrate and figure a way to get out of this. But no.... of course I can't when my mind keeps on drifting back to Max Evans in his finest glory. I just never figured that would be in a men's fitting room, but things happen in the weirdest places.

He made me feel like burning coals that were being covered over in lava when he was holding me. I didn't know half the things that Max had said, could even come out of his mouth! Words like ravish, and pleasure and body all together... I was a puddle in his arms, like a little crayon that had been left out too long in the sun that was still pretending to be as sharp as it was before.

I have to admit, I almost caved a little... when he said that he had missed me. His eyes looked so genuine, and he seemed so contrite. I have to keep on reminding myself though, why I can't let him in right now. Why I can't let myself love him even more than I already do. (even though I'd deny it if you told anyone) I need closure. I need to know why. I need to know that he really loves me first, before I give my heart away again. I need him.

Ok there my heart goes again putting in it's two cents. Joining forces with the hormones! At least my brain is still with me. I can always depend on my brain... at least most of the time. It's sort of like Italy was in World War II. It keeps on changing sides but in the end it's on mine. Let's see... where am I now? I'm in Max's jeep, where he is so kindly displaying his "I am man, hear me roar" thing. Which you know, was really meant to be "I am woman hear me roar" and explains why he's not doing so good of a job.

We stop. Finally. An idea pops into my head. I quickly unbuckle my seatbelt and say to Max, "You know, Max. I think you're right."

"You do?" Max seems a little suspicious because of my previous behavior.

"Yes, I do. Who wouldn't want a guy like you Max?" as I slowly lean towards him, using my most sultriest voice possible. Well, at least something very low and breathy. I make sure I'm really close to his ear and that my warm breath comes out in puffs next to that sensitive skin. I can see his eyes flutter a little, and his breathing become quicker. I also notice... umm... little Max coming up to say "hello" again.

"You're so handsome, and sweet...." I continue as I slowly start leaving feather-light kisses leading from his earlobe to his cheek finally stopping right next to his lips while raking my nails on his jeans near his inner thigh. He licks his bottom lip with his tongue. There is a moment where everything seems to stay still and he closes his eyes. It think about changing my mind for a minute, because I want this too... but I'm stubborn. "And gullible." I finish with a smirk while retracting my other hand from his jacket pocket with speedos and keys in tow.

"Wait until your family gets a load of this, Max!" I yell out to him when I'm finished unlocking the door after a small sprint. He's still dazed from the warmth... he shakes his head to gain his mind back again, but I quickly close and lock the door before I can see him jump out after me. I lean my back against the door, breathing heavily from the adrenaline rush, thankful that I'm not the only one whose hormones sometimes take over. I look around the house, expecting Max's parent's quizzical expressions or Isabel's perfectly waxed eyebrow arched in confusion. However, the house is uncannily empty and silent. This means one thing. Max can still catch me! If I were hiding from a normal guy, I would be in the clear. Unfortunately, in this case, as it has been said before, Max Evans is NOT a normal teenage guy. He doesn't need locksmith's tools to open a door. One little concentrated energy blast and you'd say, "Lock? What lock?"

I rush up the stairs and rush into the room farthest away from the door. I look for the best possible hiding place... ok. Closet? Too easy. Under-the-bed? He'd never expect me to go under there, right? I mean, only little kids hide under beds. I just hope there isn't as much junk under this bed as there is under mine. Thankfully, there's not. Just a few dust bunnies here and there, books, boxers... Wait a minute. There's a familiar smell to this room... this is... Max's room! Of all the places...

Well, I look down to the speedos still clenched in my hand. At least now you'll have company, I think. You both can bond over your experiences covering parts on Max where the sun don't shine. I suppose I should have been grossed out about taking the previously "used" speedos. I use the term "used" loosely. It's the scientist in me... what I'm really thinking is what a shame it is. Those things could have been future princes or princesses of an alien planet, but instead they've hit spandex. Don't you think of how pathetic I am that I'm feeling sorry for Max's gametes? I'm telling you, a love for Biology can really ruin a girl's social life.

I hear the door unlock with a resounding click. Max calls out, " I know you're in here somewhere! Just wait until I find you!" I slowly hear each door being opened one by one. First the two doors before Max's bedroom, and probably the closets. He steps into his own room and checks the closet too. He stands around looking frustrated and confused for a moment. I hear him mumble, "So help me Liz... you drive me crazy!" He was going out the door again to, I assume check in the kitchen and I almost let out a sigh of relief when he returned. I suppose he had decided that his previous outfit was too... hot and wanted to change. Why do I always get myself into these situations?

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 26-Aug-2002 10:14:52 AM ]
posted on 26-Aug-2002 12:55:43 PM by DMatahari
Not that this is related to fanfiction or anything, but I just got a dove from my boyfriend and I was wondering if anyone could offer some suggestions *happy*

Edited for addition of: So... let's say in the future of this fic, Liz has the option of leaving or staying (temporarily)which would you choose?

~Matahari

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 26-Aug-2002 12:57:26 PM ]
posted on 27-Aug-2002 10:44:18 AM by DMatahari
Does anyone have any suggestions as to what they want to happen? *happy*
~Matahari
posted on 2-Sep-2002 8:49:50 AM by DMatahari
Author's Note Thanks everyone for their feedback! *happy* I'm glad to have such lovely people as you *happy*

~Part 5 aka. 3...2...1... blast off!~

I quickly take off my shirt, jeans, sneakers, and socks until I have nothing but my boxers on. I could lie to you all and say that I'm changing because of the humidity of summer, the warmth from running all around the house and using my powers to open the lock, or from my embarrassment that Liz actually found out that I had speedos even though that has been a recent development. Actually, it's from the blazing heat of Liz's touch... her unique caress with those soft delicate lips, those fawn colored eyes that draw my soul into their depths and will me to drown in them, and the fact that, well, jeans aren't exactly the best things to wear when your playing in the water, despite Liz's previous example.

I'm starting to pull down my boxers when suddenly I hear a muffled sound. I pause, pulling them up again. To my surprise, I see Liz with her arms crossed over her eyes, saying "I give! I give! Just don't remove any more clothing!" I'm amused as well as a little disappointed... I mean, all of those pull ups were supposed to impress Liz! I'm not a leper, nor do I need to wear a paper bag over my head. Some girls would pay good money to see me in the nude right? Come on, all of you that would, admit it! But, if this is the torture I have to endure, well... at least it's torture by Liz.

"There you are, Liz." I calmly speak. "You can open your eyes now... no more of my body will be displayed without your prior consent."

"Oh... " she sounds sort of disappointed. "Great." Still not so enthusiastic. Maybe there's some hope after all for me.

"How about this? If you come and play with me today, I promise to be a good little boy and not tell your parents that you've been spying on me almost naked." I say watching for her reaction closely. I see amusement, shock, and panic.

"Umm.. well, how was I supposed to know that you were in the men's fitting room in that store trying on speedos? I was just looking for something for my dad and when I heard these noises, I couldn't help myself..."

"You WHAT?!?" Ok. Now it's my turn for the panic attack. "I meant now seeing me almost naked. Why were you in the men's fitting room? What exactly did you see?" The bright tomato red color of her cheeks is not a good sign. Liz... " I see her duck her head down in embarrassment. She's embarrassed? It's not like she just found out that someone she was trying to impress saw her pleasuring herself in a men's fitting room screaming out that particular person's name. How about me here? Remember? The guy in the boxers?

Ok. Here are my feelings at the moment. Yes, I am embarrassed. But you know what? Somehow imagining her seeing me in that way, knowing exactly how I feel about her, exactly what she does to me made me desire her so much in that moment. I, Max Evans am in heat and let's just see whether Liz Parker will be able to deny her status as my soulmate for much longer with what I have planned.

In my past life, I used my brain to win wars with other countries. In my present life, I'm going to use some different tactics to win this battle with Liz. I step closer to her and put both my hands on her shoulders facing her. "Liz, I promise I'll forgive you if you just come and play in the water with me ok? I think that's pretty fair right? It's not like I'm asking you to do the same thing in the women's fitting room even though that would be the exact retribution. Is it a deal?" Ok, I really really wanted to have it be the other way around with me watching Liz, her head thrown back, her face flushed, this look of total ecstasy, pleasure permeating her entire being... wait. I turn around again when she says, "Deal."

"If you don't mind, I'd like some time alone to get into something less prone to opening and showing the crown jewels... " I ask. My head turns slightly to see her eyeing my now prevalent erection and nervously lick her lips.

"Sure, Max... but what am I supposed to wear? It's not like I have my complete wardrobe here."

"Aren't you forgetting something? Me alien can also change molecular structure. No biggie. What's your favorite color?"

"Red... but why..."

"Mine too." I don't let her finish. With a simple hand wave over her body, she is now wearing a red bikini. Hey, did you really think between a one piece or two piece I'd chose anything else? Maybe I should have waited until I had changed out of my boxers.... I quickly shut the door and lean against it breathing heavily. If Liz only has to wear a bikini to make my whole body feel like it's on fire, I think we'll explode if we ever make love. But oh... what a way to go.

I step out into the hallway and Liz gives me an appraising glance, a dusty rose covering her cheeks. "Nice." I hear her say. She seems sort of uncomfortable. I don't know whether it's being together with me wearing so little clothing... or the fact that I'm wearing those speedos again. I cleaned them with my powers, but I didn't have to tell you that. You know, I'm really getting used to them... and the effect they have on Liz. She's so adorable. Do you know that? Well, she is. How does she maintain the ability to be cute and innocent yet sexy and seductive at the same time? I don't know if I'm ever going to find out, but I'll willing to try.

"Wait... just help me get this out of the closet." I say.

"Sure..." she responds lifting up her arms to hold the package steady. I see the top of her bikini lift a little over the bottom of her breasts leaving the curves to be viewed by yours truly. Have you ever heard of those guys that can carry these huge weights with their umm... you know (the thing that makes them different from girls)? I think this is how they work out. By staring at beautiful women and getting hard all the time. If I happen to try out and win a medal all the credit would go to Miss. Liz Parker.

"What is this thing anyway?"

"A slip-n-slide." I respond, with a huge grin on my face. "Isabel and I haven't used this thing in ages. I think the last time we did, we were twelve and we were pushing each other in the mud and our parents forbid us to use it ever since. I was hoping that they would still have it."

Liz nods slightly saying, "I see." I grab her hand and lead her out back. With her help I set up the slip-n-slide. I look at my watch for a moment and wait. "Ok... sprinkles will be on in 5... 4... 3... 2.. 1...blast off!" Did you noticed the repressed child that wanted to be an astronaut that came out in that statement? "You can have the honors." I say shyly.

"Thanks, Max." Liz smiles at me for the first time I've seen in awhile. An hour later, we're laughing and just having a fun time. I'm on the slip-n-slide and I'm going down it, while Liz runs up near me. I grab her foot and she slips.... landing on top of me. Funny that I didn't do that intentionally, don't you think? "Hi." she says breathlessly, placing her hands on my chest. Ugh... there it goes again.
posted on 9-Sep-2002 8:59:48 PM by DMatahari
Author's Note
Ahh!!! It's 9:20pm on Monday and I almost forgot to post! I'm such a bad girl! Bad! Anyway, I just started grad school this semester so things are a little bit busy but I'll try to keep up with my promise and get the parts out. Feedback never hurts either ;) Thanks for all the bumps!!!

~Part 6- For Now, I'm Happy Too- Liz's POV~

So many sensations running through my nerves, all those synapses spreading those neurotransmitters connecting each sensory neuron to a respective motor neuron. I feel my body responding automatically to the feel of Max's body's obvious response. My fingertips tingle as if they have been energized with electricity as they wander along the smooth silk of Max's bare chest. His heart beats getting faster, his breath quicker and I can sense mine doing the same. We've danced this dance before... or was it a dream... I'm forgetting now. All that surrounds me is his smell, his touch... the sound that is emitted from his luscious mouth from deep in his throat... Only he exists for me at this moment. And yet, I know I'm forgetting something... something important. This something important hurts though... I don't want to remember now. I want to forget. Let me just enjoy this moment... Let me live today and then tomorrow I can be a shell again. Let this fantasy be real for once... let me have my night of passion. I may never be able to have my wedding, or anything else.... but just one night. All I want... all I need is one night with him and it can all be over. I'll have my closure and then I can move on.
I've been on top of him for longer than necessary, but somebody has to make the
first move. He's staring at me in disbelief, almost as if I'm an illusion and if he speaks I will disappear into thin air. I reach my hand out towards his face, letting the fingertips glide along the contours of every line, etching it into my brain permanently. I close his eyelids and kiss them, reverently before touching him again, memorizing the curves of his lips, and the way his nose slants, the way his ears are a little too big for his face, yet making him utterly adorable...

So much bare skin touching bare skin... so close, yet so far from sharing all of us with each other. One single layer of clothing removed from him, and untying a few strings from me... and I could have him filling me. He would be able to fulfill my every desire... my every want and need or so I believe. And yet, there's the fact that he has done that before with... her. It won't be as special for him as it is for me... it won't mean as much. I wonder how many times they did it. I wonder if they made love. I wonder if it was just mindless alien sex. I wonder if I'll be good enough. So many questions running through my mind, all wanting to be answered, yet something even stronger calls to me and maybe if I follow the call I'll get some answers...

I let myself go, uninhibited from my moral conscience, Maria would be so surprised. I don't know if I'll regret this later. There is no room for any more regrets. No room for what-if's. "Max," I find myself asking breathlessly, "When are your parents going to be home?"

Panting he replies, "Next Monday. Trip. Business."

"Isabel?"

"Monday too. Camping. Alex. Stars."

"How lucky." I reply satisfactorily before starting to kiss him across the lines I've previously drawn along his face. So what's with the 180*? Are you asking yourself whether this is the same girl that was carried kicking and screaming to Max's jeep? Well, if you are, just remember this is also the same girl that stood by and watching Max Evans pleasure himself in a men's fitting room. My hormones are going "Woohoo! Go Girl!", my heart is undecided and my mind is totally against it. The hormones are the stronger this time though, since they are being fueled most positively by Max Evans' pheromones. Remember my theories? This is another one. I believe that Max Evans' is part alien his pheromones have a multiplied effect. This explains the dozens of high school girls that drool every time he walks by. Even I, most of all, can't resist.

He looks confused for a moment, but then starts taking some action. I think he's wondering whether this is a dream too, but decides to go with it. He holds my hands with his tightly, as if never wanting to let go and his mouth lightly trails along my cheeks going towards my mouth before I teasingly pull away. He lets out a frustrated growl (ooh baby) before lifting me up with him from the slip-n-slide. My brain lets out it's sensible two cents at the moment by making me say, "Don't you think we should clean up?" Still holding me with one heavily muscled arm, he waves his hand across the small area of yard. Everything is back to normal with the exception of a patch of blue flowers where the slip-n-slide had been. Umm... is it a bad thing when molecular rearrangement is a turn on?

Not looking back, he carries me into the house and up to his room all the while intermittently sucking on my neck, swirling his tongue on the same place and then blowing on it lightly. I'm getting little goosebumps on my arms and legs and I know he notices too. Well, he's got a little tell-tale sign as well... wait, did I say little? I meant BIG. My nipples are poking out through my bikini and I feel the wetness start to trickle down my core. It's burning for him. He quickly rushes upstairs to his bedroom, even though he also tries to be careful not to knock me on any walls because we all know what use is an unconscious Liz Parker? He swiftly lays me down on the bed covering me with kisses... still not proceeding towards my mouth after my denial previously. Is he afraid of what he's going to see? Is he afraid of what I'll see?

His frenzied movements slow when he reaches one of my ties to my bikini bottoms. He looks into my eyes, untying one and then the other but never removing them. He unties the top... and lets it fall. Each breast displaying prominently a nipple begging to be sucked, licked, and worshipped by his lovely tongue and mouth and who is he to refuse? His mouth engulfs one of my nipples and his tongue lovingly caresses it while the suction starts. I'm in agony... I unconsciously buck against him rubbing his heat against mine. The friction causes my bottoms to slowly reveal more and more of me before finally slipping and leaving me naked to his inspection.

He takes me all in with those eyes of his... those wonderful amber brown pools... and he kisses what has just been revealed to him. "You're so beautiful." he says. In the back of my mind I wonder if he said the same thing to her... but there are other things that are more pressing... literally. We haven't kissed yet... I wondering when it will happen. He stops abruptly and then asks me, "Are you hungry?"

"I would say for only you, but I wouldn't be the truth." I admit teasingly again.

"I'm sorry... I got so carried-- "

"It's not your fault... I want this too. Let's make some dinner... and then we'll continue ok?"

"Ok. But as long as I get to cook for you!" Max replies smiling... he's looking happier than he has been in awhile.

"Ok Max. I'd like that." I reply because, you know what? For now, I'm happy too.
posted on 16-Sep-2002 9:43:57 AM by DMatahari
shameless bump so that I can post later today *happy*
~Matahari
Thanks for the feedback so far!
posted on 16-Sep-2002 9:19:53 PM by DMatahari
~Part 7 aka. Eventually...~ Max's POV

Ok... I know what everyone's thinking. DINNER?! You want to have DINNER?! You have a naked Liz Parker in front of you and you ask her if she's hungry? What kind of moron are you?!? Come on, I know that's what you're thinking... However, there is always that saying, "You can't live on love alone." and Liz's tummy was making these little grumbly noises and do you really expect me to deny her anything? You want me to have her STARVE? Of course not, if she was starving then she wouldn't have enough energy for... certain things. Starving is definitely not an option.

Anyway, who said that the kitchen is not a romantic place? It all depends on your imagination. Think about words associated with eating food. One can be "lick", as in licking an ice cream cone. Another is "suck" as in sucking on a lollipop. You can also "nibble" on corn or "bite" into a big steak. You can "savor" the aroma of something cooking in the oven and have a "taste" of whatever you're mixing up on the stovetop. You can "knead" bread and "devour" your meal. Now think of all the other ways these words can be used... interesting huh?

But now for the decision... A) make Liz put her original clothes back on, B) let her put her bikini back on, C) let Liz go out naked, or D) just make something else for her to wear. Well, first we have to go through all the options scientifically, because this is what's probably going through Liz's brain too. For one, it's summer. It's Roswell, New Mexico. Therefore, it's hot. Liz doesn't seem to do well with heat, owing to her throwing herself into a fountain. Bye bye choice A. Woohoo! Ok back to that scientific reasoning.
Secondly, as much as it pains me, Liz might feel a little self-conscious about her being in the nude in all when I'm still clearly wearing speedos. Now, if I were naked... that would make us even, but we'll discuss my clothing plans later ok? So, a bit of uncertainty of choice C. Putting her bikini back on... it's wet. Then again, I'm an alien. No biggie there. I suppose I could choose choice D and make her wear something else, but I really do love the way that bikini looks on her. Besides... it's just enough to hide her lovely parts while only being a few ties away from having her skin exposed for my personal viewing pleasure... definitely B. B is good... not as good as C would have been, but acceptable. Now... let's see if Liz came to the same conclusion.

Liz seems to have calmed down a little. There is still a slight flush to her cheeks, but she's not breathing as quickly as a few minutes ago. She has covered herself slightly with my sheets and I'm thinking enviously at this moment, "Lucky sheets."

"I'll go and start on dinner while you can get dressed ok, love?" I say, before waving my hand over the bikini making it dry.

The love came out so naturally and I haven't even been thinking about it. I knew I loved her, but that I could openly say it with one simple word was amazing to me. She's a little shocked by this word too, like she doesn't believe that I could love her. Why would she think such a thing? She was the first person that I told our secret to. I risked not only mine, but Isabel's and Michael's lives by saving her life.... by healing her. How could she let herself think that anyone who has truly seen her, could never love her? To me, it's like who couldn't love her after seeing her like that?

And yet... I know I've made some terrible mistakes. Things that I'll regret for the rest of my life. Nobody can change that... I mean, you can't go back in time right? That's only for science fiction movies. Then again, most people think that aliens are only for science fiction movies. That's why I try not to discount anything. I realize that if everything only happened if the majority believed it, I wouldn't exist. Nobody believed that the people of earth would travel to the moon, and yet they've gone there as well as other planets... you know. I almost said we've. I'm half alien... I'm half human and I've never really felt that I was truly a part of one race or the other. Until Liz. That's why it hurt more than it should have when I saw Kyle with her. Liz made me feel for the first time that I belonged somewhere. I belonged to her... and when she showed me that I didn't I lost control.

But enough about the past right? The past has only brought trouble for me. Forget the past, it's over and done with. What use is a past if you don't have a future? Immediate demands are food. What to eat... in the fridge are a few eggs, milk, cheese, some leftovers from yesterday, some lettuce, tomatoes... not much of a variety. Well, at least there's some ice cream for dessert. Ok. There's some chicken from yesterday. I can cut a few strips off, mix with some lettuce, tomatoes, Caesar dressing and we've got an impromptu chicken Caesar salad. Look here, Max Evans intergalactic chef to the stars! Umm... right. Well, at least to Liz and that's all that matters.

"Hey Max..." Liz greets softly while walking down the stairs. She has created a little skirt-like covering using one of my white shirts. Again...lucky shirt. Why are all my possessions more lucky than I am lately? First my sheet and then my shirt. They're all turning on me. Well, who wouldn't? I would choose her over me anyday. Her modesty is so cute... and aggravating.

"Hey" I answer, wrapping my arms around her waist. Mmm... now I'm lucky too. Do I get to join the club? Right this way, m'lady. I lead her to a chair before pulling it out and pushing it back in when she sits. Thanks go to my mom for teaching me how to act like a gentleman. Well, and also for my dad by helping in the demonstration by getting smacked playfully if he didn't do the right thing. I give Liz a soft kiss on her hand and start to bring the salad over to the table. I didn't have time to set the table and make things all romantic, but I did happen to make the candles light up giving a soft glow to the room. I turned on the fan in the corner and started looking into the cabinets for something but I couldn't find it.

"Looking for this?" Liz asks me with a smirk taking up a bottle of Tabasco sauce from under her seat.

"How did you do that?"

"Well, it's not like you're the Flash or anything. When you went to turn on the fan I found it and hid it from you. I wondered how long it would take you to notice. You know, you really need to work on your observational skills. You'd think with that whole part of the brain that you're using that most humans don't it'd make you a little less dense." she says teasingly.

"You... can I have it please?" I ask.

"Uh uh." she answers shaking her cute little head.

"Hey! Why not? I said please..."

"Nope. Sorry. Not the right thing." shaking her head some more with the bottle in her waist.

"Arghh! I'll get that thing from you Liz Parker!" I lunge at her and Liz rushes under the table. I dive under the tablecloth and in her rush I notice that her "skirt", my shirt, lies forgotten on the carpet with half-naked Liz backed up against the farthest chair, holding the Tabasco sauce behind her back. I crawl slowly towards her reveling in our close proximity and her with no escape.

Dinner... we were supposed to be having dinner right? Oh well, we will... eventually.

posted on 19-Sep-2002 9:39:59 AM by DMatahari
Author's Note
Well, this is the last part that was posted on the old board. Updates will probably be less frequent unless I can somehow get more feedback and less writer's block *happy* Thanks for all the support!
~Matahari
posted on 24-Oct-2002 12:56:50 PM by DMatahari
Authors Note: You thought I had dissapeared huh? Well, no siree... *happy* However I do have to say that parts will be farther apart... graduate school is a killer. Anyway, hope you all enjoy and please post feedback! And now... on to the scheduled program.

~Part 8 aka. The hunt~ Liz's POV

You know tigers? How the stealthily glide across the scenery after their prey? This can accurately describe Max at the moment. Max=tiger. Liz=prey. Being the prey is never a good thing in the animal kingdom. How would you like being the one torn into bits? Unless you're really a masochist then I would imagine not very good at all. However, this hunt while it is scary, it invigorates me. I feel my senses heighten and my skin tingle. I see the way he is looking at me, with eyes as hypnotizing as that of the sweet melody of a snake charmer's flute to a cobra.

I see his muscles as they contract and release fluidly as he approaches me, cautiously as a cat carefully stalks a mouse before it pounces. At last he reaches me and with a low growl he commands, "Give it."

But the prey is not always as defenseless as it's hunter might suspect. It is only fair in the world that not one species should always triumph. Not one species should always lose. Nothing is absolutely certain. "No," I reply stoically. I push the Tabasco sauce further behind my back while Max inches closer and closer until I can feel the heat emanating off of his skin. My body can't help but to reciprocate some heat of it's own when his mouth is about a centimeter next to mine. I shake my head for a second... dazed. The next moment, my eyes sparkle as I smile sweetly, gratified by the confused and frustrated look on Max's face. "You want it Max? Hmm? Well, first you've got to earn it. How am I supposed to know whether you're going to use it correctly unless I can see for myself?"

"What do you mean Liz? How can I use it on my food unless you give it to me?"

Ahh... poor Max. He seems extremely puzzled by this. I laugh slightly. "Max, you'd think you of all people would have more of an open mind! I show you... " I state simply. Carefully, I unscrew the bottle of Tabasco sauce behind my back. I pour about a drop of Tabasco sauce in between my breasts and I wait. "Max? I think I've had accident... would you help me?" My voice surprises me. It's breathy and low... very sensual. From the looks of it, Max is surprised too. He stares at me for a moment and his eyes glaze over. He advances yet more, until his legs are next to my legs, and slowly I lower my head until.... "Ow!" Rats. Furniture should be outlawed. Especially furniture that you can bang your head on when you're having moment with Max Evans under a table. A brief flicker of recognition enters into his eyes and he asks concertedly, "Are you all right?"

I smile at him trying to reassure him as I tease, "Actually, not yet. You see, I was asking this kind gentleman to help me clean up, but as you can see... he hasn't followed through yet so I'm crushed." I follow that up with one of those doe-eyed looks complete with a pout. "I guess that I'm going to have to find some other guy to help me..." I continue looking towards the door.

"No!" he cries as he presses me towards the carpeted floor. Ooh I just love when he's possessive like that. He reverently kisses the valley in-between my breasts and laps up the remaining Tabasco sauce. It seems that our tiger has transformed into a kitten. I never knew evolution could occur so quickly. Must be the alien DNA. So while Max's head remains over my chest, I slowly move my free arm and roll the Tabasco sauce underneath the couch. I know you're all thinking how has Liz Parker managed to free her mind from the sensual haze that you are positive is being produced at the moment. It's simple really. Anticipation.

I know that the longer I keep Max hanging the better it will be. It's all part of the chase. What's something worth if you don't have to work for it? What would it feel like if everything you ever wanted was given to you on a silver platter? Sure, it'd be nice at first... but then it would just get boring. You wouldn't appreciate it as much. You wouldn't care about it enough. It would just be too... easy.

Funny how when I think about that word I think of Tess... Her again. I wish I could banish her from my thoughts... from my mind. Why does she haunt me so? Because it should have been me. I must have stiffened with the thought because Max is staring at my face with concern and the smile that I had? It's disappeared.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing," I mumble. I feel myself closing off again. It must be really nice that some people can forget what's going on in their lives. That they can forget who they really love and just give into temptation without another thought. I thought I could do it too. Give my body without giving up my soul. Ha! Max Evans has already spoiled that for me! He has my soul. I'm almost sure that it's contained in some little bottle and his soul likes to give it a shake every once and awhile. Maybe even let it out and stomp it into the dirt until it's nice and bruised. That is, of course, if souls could have physical bruising.

I can't help when one solitary tear manages to break through my defenses and glides smoothly down my cheek. I turn away. He doesn't need to see my pain. He doesn't deserve any emotion from me. It's my mind now that has control. My mind is telling me that if I ever had one day alone with Max Evans, no matter how perfect it may seem, would only hurt me more in the long run. What is a drop of water to a man dying of thirst? Not enough to quench his need, yet more than enough to make him grow mad. Just a taste to a thirst that will never be truly fulfilled. How could I believe that I would ever be able to move on after I gave myself to him? Even for one night. To punish myself like this would be crazy.

As I back away, moving the chair to the side, I grasp the shirt that lay forgotten on the floor. My head hangs low, with my hair shielding newly sprung tears coursing down my face like small rivers.

"Liz, speak to me," he begs. His eyes, those beautiful amber gems, gaze at me worriedly. He gets up and moves his hand towards my face, lifting up my head to meet his. He winces at the dampness, the pain apparent in his features and I quickly pull away.

I move my hand towards his cheek, stopping just before contact. It hangs there, as if suspended by an invisible thread. The fingers slowly close into a fist and I retract it. "I should go," I whisper, "I don't belong here, with you." I flee towards the door and glance back to see Max Evans, crumpled to the floor, in tears. My heart stops for a moment, pulling me to go towards him, to comfort him. My mind sends sensory impulses for my hand to open the front door, go outside and close it, until it too stops functioning. I collapse on the steps, sobbing.