posted on 24-Aug-2002 12:09:27 AM by Lillie
Title: Everything To Gain

Author: Lillie/Amber

Disclaimer: Roswell characters belong to Darth Katims and Co., not me. A Thousand Miles belongs to Vanessa Carlton. Escape belongs to Enrique Iglesias. Somewhere Out There belongs to Our Lady Peace. The title comes from the title of a novel by Barbara Taylor Bradford. Though my story has nothing to do with hers.

Category: AU, M/L. Yes, there are aliens. Read NOTE! *happy*

Note: Liz and Tess have changed roles somewhat. And it is NOT based on what happened on the show. No shooting at the Crashdown. Tess’s last name is Parker. Liz’s last name is Harding. Nasedo did die. And Liz went to live with Jim and Kyle. Not too sure about what happened on the show that happened in here. Grandma Claudia is Max and Isabel’s granny, and she’s not dead.

An: This story was originally going to be a one parter, but I was convinced otherwise by Randi (LittleBit). Thanks a bunch for letting me bounce my ideas off of you, Randi. *happy*


Chapter 1

This was supposed to be one of the happiest days in her life, she knew. But Liz wasn’t happy. Not at all. Graduation. She was all set to graduate. But Liz Harding was not happy. She knew what she had to do. And she was going to do it. It was the only way that things would be okay for everyone.

Liz smiled widely as she vaguely heard her friend, Jinny tell her what she had planned for tonight. She was going to miss Jinny when she left. Liz had always been so jealous of Jinny, who had the perfect life. Jinny with her sweet wonderful boyfriend who loved her more than anything else. Jinny had been one of Liz’s truest friends since she had come here fourteen months ago. Of course, Jinny didn’t know the truth about Liz or the others. It was their secret. Their secret that no one could know about.

Liz broke out of her reverie when she saw Maria wave at her from the other side of the room. She loved Maria like a sister, and it was going to hurt so much when she left. Liz was pretty sure that one day Maria would become her sister-in-law. Maria and Michael Guerin, Liz’s brother had been in love with each other since the ninth grade. Maria had been one of the first members of the ‘I Know An Alien’ group.

There were twelve of them in the group. First it had only been five, Max and Isabel Evans, Michael, and Diane and Phillip Evans. But it had only gotten bigger and bigger, expanding to Maria, Alex Whitman, Tess Parker, Kyle and Jim Valenti. Than Liz had arrived in town with Nasedo, their protector. Of course, she had never called him Nasedo— that had been the name that Max and the others had thought of— during each of the towns, she’d called him Dad, Father, Daddy, which ever one she felt like, even though he wasn’t her father. He wasn’t anything like a father figure to her. It had been so apparent to her over the years that he only thought of her as his ward, his queen that he had to take care of. In order to get her back to the king. Back to Max.

Liz sighed as she thought about him. Max Evans, Zan, her king, her husband, her lover. There were so many things that she could call him, but she didn’t know which applied to him. She knew that he wasn’t Zan anymore, he wasn’t her husband. Not on Earth. They were different people than before. Liz knew that she wasn't Anais, and she wasn’t married to Zan. But it still hurt. It hurt so much to see that Max wanted to be with Tess.

Tess Parker was everything that Liz wasn’t. Well, almost. The only thing that they had in common was that they both were short. Tess’ was only an inch taller than Liz herself. But Tess had curly blonde hair where Liz had straight dark hair. Tess had blue eyes where Liz had brown eyes. Liz could see what Max saw in Tess, but it was like a stab in the heart. And Liz tried to pretend that she was okay with it all, even though she wasn’t.

Even though at nights she would cry in her bed. Cry over the way that her life was. Cry over the pain of not being with Max Evans. Nasedo had promised her over the years, over and over, that one day when she meet her king, he would fall in love with her. He said that she would get everything that she wanted. That her life would be a fairy tale.

But it hadn’t been. Her life hadn’t been any where near a fairy tale. She had to deal with losing the only person that had been there in her life. And she had to move in with the Valenti’s. But she had grown to love them. Grown to love both Jim and Kyle. They were great people. Liz regretted that she had on occasion tried to use Kyle in order to get Max jealous. Though it had never worked. Max only had eyes for Tess. Never her.

Liz bit down on her tongue in an attempt to try to stop the tears from forming in her eyes. Liz knew that she was just feeling sorry for herself, but she was going to leave and get away. She was going to make a better life for herself than living here in Roswell. They were never going to be able to go back to Antar, and she didn’t want to be stuck here in this one horse town. She was going to go away. Go to the place that she had always wanted to visit, but never had. Nasedo had never taken her there. He had said that it was their safe house. The place that they would go to if it was totally necessary. Klamath Falls in Oregon. Liz knew that the others did not know about the cabin there, so that’s where she was going to go. She was going to make a wonderful life for herself. Away from everyone. Away from her brother, away from her friends, away from Max and Tess.

Liz could still remember the first time that she had seen Max. It had been fourteen months ago. Nasedo had told her that he had been keeping some surveillance on them or something. And Nasedo had showed her the pictures of them. He’d shown her pictures of Isabel, tall, blonde and beautiful. Pictures of Michael, rugged with an air of rebellion to him. And Max, shy and mysterious. Liz had looked at the photo and had fallen in love with him than. She knew that he was the man that she was going to spend the rest of her life with. But nothing had prepared her for when she had seen Max for the first time.

She had waited for the right opportunity to make herself known to Isabel Evans. He thought that she was the best one to approach first. That she would be the one to open her arms first. That she would be glad to see another girl. So Liz had waited until lunch time to go to the other girl. But Isabel came to her first.

“Hi. Your Liz, right? Liz Harding? I’m Isabel Evans. I was supposed to be your guide this morning, but I got delayed by my brother’s crappy Jeep. I’m sorry about that.” Isabel said, coming up next to Liz.

“Oh, that’s fine, Isabel. I had some fun finding the classes on my own. I’d go like half an hour late and tell them that I got lost. They all bought it.” Liz said, cracking a smile at the pretty girl. Liz saw that Isabel was more beautiful than the pictures had shown. Liz had always wanted to be like Isabel, tall and blonde. It always seemed like most of the girls in fairy tales were blondes.

“Why don’t you come sit with me and my friends. I’ll introduce you to all of the right people.” Isabel said, guiding Liz over to the table filled with blondes.

Liz suppressed the urge to groan. Blondes. Not that she hated them or anything. But wasn’t there any brunettes anywhere?

“Pam, Courtney, Laurie, Jinny this is Liz Harding, she’s new to West Roswell, so let’s be nice, okay.” Isabel said with a smile to her friends, as she introduced Liz.


“Are those Jimmy Choo shoes?” Pam asked, liking the dark haired girl instantly.

“Yes, they are.” Liz said, smiling at her words, as she looked around the courtyard, looking for Max. She knew that since Isabel was here, that he was bound to be around somewhere. Liz’s heart stopped beating when she found him. He was sitting at another table with a two dark haired guys and two blonde girls. Liz’s heart clenched when she recognized one of the dark haired boys as her brother. That was Michael. She missed so much of his life, but she wasn’t going to miss anymore. Liz was positive about that. She was finally with her family. She didn’t need Him anymore. She had her family.

Liz’s heart soared when she saw Max look over at her. He was so beautiful. So beautiful, handsome, gorgeous. He was everything. She knew that things would be alright, because she would have her husband back. The love of her life. Liz couldn’t wait until she could run her hands through his thick black hair. She couldn’t wait until he kissed her with so much passion, the kind of passion that they had back on Antar. She wanted to feel his arms wrapped around her body, his hands touching her body. She wanted him so bad that it hurt.

“I hope you don’t mind my asking, but who’s that dark haired guy over there? The one in the green shirt?” Liz finally said, unable to hold back any longer. She knew that it was only a matter of time before she would be sitting over there with Max. Sitting at his table, at his side, as his wife.

Isabel rolled her eyes at Liz’s question. “That just happens to be my brother, Max. But he’s totally not available. He’s got eyes for that curly haired blonde right next to him. Tess Parker. He’s got the total hots for her. You won’t get anywhere with him. His mind is focused on Tess.” she said, knowingly.

Liz took in a sharp breath at Isabel’s words. It was like a stab in the heart. Max was interested in Tess? The little blonde? Why was he interested in that girl? Didn’t he have any clue about what had happened back on Antar? Didn’t he know that he had been married back on Antar? Married to her? That he was her husband? No, no, no, no, no, no. It simply couldn’t be true. Max simply couldn’t be interested in that human girl. He just couldn’t.

Liz broke out of the memories as Ms. Jenner announced that it was time for them to walk out to the auditorium. The room filled with excited talk at their families in the audience, cheering on their children. Liz knew that there was going to be one person cheering her on. Jim Valenti. He had become her father in so many ways. She hated that when she would leave that she wouldn’t see him anymore. He had come to mean so much to her, but it was better this way. She knew that it was.


“Oh, my God, Liz. Can you believe it? We graduated! We did it!” Jinny Newley screeched happily as she hugged Liz fiercely, tears falling down her face.

Liz laughed at Jinny’s words as she hugged her friend back. She couldn’t believe it herself. High school was over. It was over and done with. She was so much closer to leaving town. In a few hours, she was going to get into her car and she was going to leave Roswell behind. “Oh, Jin.”

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed
And I'm home bound

“Aren’t you happy, Liz? We’re going to start college in a matter of months. Only three more months and than we’re going to be college students? Aren’t you so excited? I am!” Jinny continued screeching, noticing the look of sadness in Liz’s eyes. “You okay?”

Liz forced a smile on her face for her friend. Jinny’s last memory of her didn’t need to be one of sadness. Liz widened her smile as she answered her friend’s question. “I’m fine, just a little nervous. We’re going to go out in the real world. That’s really scary. But hey, let’s not think about that right now. Just think about having some fun, tonight, right?” she said brightly.

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd

Liz’s breath caught in her throat when she saw Max walking towards her, without Tess. The pain of those two had multiplied so much during the last month. Though Max and Tess had not been together when she had first come to town, Max’s somewhat obsession with Tess, had kept Max from wanting to be with her. It had been three months ago that Tess had broken up with Kyle, for real this time, she claimed. Max had been there, playing the friend role for Tess, and the two of them had gone to the prom together, which had shattered Liz’s already frail heart. Liz, in turn had gone with Kyle, hoping that it would make both Max and Tess jealous. But it hadn’t.

At least at the time Liz didn’t think that it had. But a month ago, things had changed. For the better Liz had thought. Little did she know, it wasn’t. Things only got worse for her. The pain had gotten unbearable. She loved Max so much, but she couldn’t stay while he was getting what he finally wanted. When he was finally getting Tess Parker.

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

“Hey, Jinny, Liz.” Max said softly, as he approached the two girls. He hadn’t wanted to interrupt them, but he had wanted to talk to Liz. She had seemed just too sad about something. And several times earlier before they had walked the stage, he could have sworn that he had seen some tears in her eyes.

“Hey, Max. Look, I’ll see you tonight, Lizzie. I’m going to go see where Jerry went off to. See you guys later.” Jinny said, waving at her friend before making her way across the room to find her wayward boyfriend.

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you

“So, exciting isn’t it? We’re officially out of high school. It’s sort of scary isn’t it? We’re going to be going off to college.” Max said, trying to make conversation with her. For some reason, a sense of foreboding was coming over him, and he was trying to make sure that nothing was going to happen. He and Liz had never been anything but friends, at least up until a month ago. Things had changed between them, and than Tess had decided that she wanted to be with him, so Max had jumped at the chance, hurting Liz at the same time. He hated that he had hurt her.

“Yes, it is. It’s very exciting.” Liz said, trying to sound excited about all of it, even though she wasn’t. Max was the one person in the world that she didn’t want knowing about her intentions. He would try to do the leader thing and make her stay, and she refused to. She knew that things would definitely change for everyone if she stayed around in town. That she was going to screw everything up. It hurt her so much that she wouldn’t have Max. But she did want him to be happy, she just didn’t want to have to see him be so happy without her.

It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me

“You’re going to go to the party tonight, aren’t you, Liz? The one at Laurie’s place out in the woods? It’s supposed to be a good party.” Max told her softly, hating the way that he sounded. There was just so much that he wanted to tell her, but he couldn’t. He was too much of a chicken to talk to her about what happened. Just like he had been too freaked out to talk to her about the past back on Antar.

“Umm, yeah. Well, I might not. I’m not feeling too good. I might just go home early.” Liz finally said, biting down on her lip. Max would never know where she went. No one would ever find her. Liz would make sure about that. Of course, she planned on calling them from time to time. It would be horrible of her if she didn’t. She would call Michael, as soon as she was settled. But not Max. She couldn’t call Max. Liz knew that if she talked to Max that he just might get it all out of her. That she might just confess to him. And she couldn’t let that happen. She had to be strong. For herself and for— shut up, Liz, she warned herself.

'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories

“What?! Are you okay? What kind of sick is it?” Max asked worriedly. They didn’t get sick, and if Liz was feeling sick than something had to be wrong. Max felt a coldness grip him at the thought of something being wrong with her. He didn’t want anything to be wrong with her. He wanted everything to be perfect for her, but he knew that it hadn’t been.

“Oh, just a little tired. Guess I didn’t get much sleep last night. You know, the way Kyle snores. He’s like a freaking bear.” Liz told him lightly, not wanting for him to get all worried. She knew that he was only worried about her because she was one of them, and not because she meant more to him. Sadly, no one would ever mean more to him than Tess, Liz knew that.

'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

“Yeah. Are you sure that you don’t want to come? I know that Maria’s not going to like that.” Max said, not wanting to think about Kyle Valenti, Tess’ former boyfriend. Part of him was thinking that Tess was only with him, because Kyle hadn’t been the best boyfriend to her. And he hoped that wasn’t true. Before they had broken up, Tess and Kyle had been together for nearly four years, ever since they were back in middle school. Max wasn’t even sure about his feelings for her, but Tess Parker had been his dream girl for years. Before he had even known Liz and now that he finally had Tess, Max didn’t know what to do with her.

“I really don’t think that I’ll go after all. I mean, I might change my mind. But I’m not too sure.” Liz said softly, trying to stay strong not change her mind. Or to even give into that nagging sensation that wanted her to tell Max the truth about what was going on. On why she had been feeling sick. He just couldn’t know about it.

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you

“Are you sure that you’re okay, Liz?” Max asked, frowning as he took in the way that she looked. True, she had a smile on her face, but there wasn’t a smile in her eyes or anything. And she looked way too pale for her own good. And he could tell that she had been losing some weight; weight that she didn’t need to lose. She was too tiny as it was.

“You’re such a worry wart. I’m fine, Max. Really. Don’t worry about me.” Liz said with a small laugh, trying to brush off his worrisome. She didn’t want to have him worried about her, than that meant that he wouldn’t leave her alone. And Liz knew that tonight was the perfect time for her to leave. Everyone would be busy off with each other. Michael would be with Maria, Alex with Isabel, Max with Tess, and Kyle would be off trying to get himself drunk. Poor Kyle. She felt so badly for him. He had been her confidante during the past few months. And she had been there for her friend when Tess dumped him to start seeing Max. On quite a number of occasions, Liz had to go pick him up from somewhere getting drunk. Kyle seemed to understand the pain that she was in. It was the same pain.

And I, I
Don't want to let you know
I, I
Drown in your memory
I, I
Don't want to let this go
I, I

“I can’t help but worry about you, Liz. I care for you. I really do. I only want the best for you.” Max said softly, thinking back to that night a month ago. What happened that night was something that he had never even expected. He had never expected to lose his virginity to Liz a month ago. He wasn’t ashamed that it happened, but it was something that he and Liz said that they wouldn’t talk about. Especially when Tess decided that she wanted to be with him. Part of him felt like a total bastard for doing that to Liz. They had slept together and than he had gotten with Tess. That wasn’t right of him.

Liz didn’t say anything at his words. He cared about her? He cared? He might care for her, but he didn’t love her. Did anyone actually love her? God, did she even know how to love someone? Liz had memories of Anais loving Zan back on Antar, but that was something different. Liz felt so. . . so jealous of Anais. Because she had actually had someone love her. While Liz knew that Max would never love her.

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed
And I'm home bound

“I really do, Liz. I know that you might think that I don’t. But I do.” Max told her softly, not knowing what else to tell her. What could sound right coming from him? Ever since that night they had spent together, he couldn’t think of the right thing to say to her. Still couldn’t. But he wanted her to know that he did care for her deeply. And he only wanted for Liz to be happy.

“Yeah. Look, there’s something that I have to go do. Bye, Max. I’ll see you around.” Liz said quietly, wanting to get the hell away from him. All she felt was so much pain. So much pain at his words. She loved him and she would never be with him. They would never be together. But that was okay. Liz knew that she would be okay, once she was away from Roswell.

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd

“I’ll see you at the party, or tomorrow morning. I promise, Liz.” Max said, not wanting for her to leave, but he couldn’t form the right words to make her stay. Good going, Max. Just act like nothing matters. Just act like all he wanted to do was to go to Tess, instead of talking to Liz. Now that he was actually with Tess, he could see that she wasn’t the person that he always thought that she was. And he realized that he put her up on a pedestal. Which wasn’t right of him. But than again, he hadn’t been doing much of anything right. He had screwed up his friendship with Liz for Tess, and now that was going nowhere. And leaving him utterly confused.

“Bye, Max.” Liz said softly, as she began walking away from him. Tears were forming in her eyes again. This was going to be the last time that she would ever see Max Evans. She would never see him again. Or her brother. Or Maria. Or Kyle. She would never see any of them again. But it was for the right reason. She knew that things would only get more and more confusing if she did stay.

And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder....

Max watched Liz walk away from him. His heart clenching as he watched her walk away. He wanted so much to run to her and take her in his arms. But he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. He was so confused over things. With Tess, with Liz. He needed some time to himself to see what exactly he wanted. He didn’t think that he wanted Tess, and he wasn’t sure if Liz was what he wanted. He was so lost.

As Liz threw the gown on the floor with the others that were piling up, she quickly made her retreat from the auditorium. She hated to think about how Jim would react to not finding her anywhere, or Kyle, or Michael. But she knew that she had to hurry up and get home. She had packed away most of her things and left them in the closet. But there were a few pictures and mementos that she wanted to take with her. And she wanted to leave the note for everyone. It was the only right thing for her to do.

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass us by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you...

Liz knew that her decision was the right thing to do. It just had to be. She knew that if she stayed a lot of people would be hurt by her extreme stupidity. For getting pregnant. Getting pregnant by Max that night that they had spent together. Tess would definitely have a cow if she ever found out. And Max would try do to the right thing in the end, but Liz knew that in the end he would just hate her. Hate her and their baby because he couldn’t be with the one person that he wanted in the world. Because he couldn’t be with Tess. And Liz couldn’t do that to him.

And Jim and Kyle? God, if she stayed, what the hell would she do? Live off of them, live in their house while she gave birth to Max’s illegitimate child? Jim and Kyle had done so much for her already. They had taken her into their home. Made her one of their family. And she didn’t need to cause anymore problems for them. They didn’t need her problems on them. They just didn’t.

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
If I could
Just hold you

And Liz knew that she was taking away Michael’s chance at being an uncle to his own nephew. But there was no other way. She knew that if Michael knew about the baby, that he would take it upon himself to tell Max. Michael was a loyal guy, which was one of the things that she appreciated about her brother. But she couldn’t let Max know. She couldn’t let Max hate her or their son.

All Liz wanted to do was to provide a wonderful home for their baby. For their son, Justin James. Liz would make sure that he had everything that she always wanted. She would give Justin all the love that she had never gotten from Nasedo. She would shower her son with love. And that’s what made what she was doing right. She wasn’t doing this for herself, but for Justin. It all was for Justin.

TBC. . . . . . . . .

[ edited 8 time(s), last at 6-Nov-2002 11:04:15 PM ]
posted on 24-Aug-2002 8:26:50 PM by Lillie
I'm so glad that people enjoyed this. I wasn't too sure if people would. I'll try to post the next chapter when I can. But I've got to work on my other stories first. Wolf Lake and Now And Forever need to be updated.

On a different note, I just finished seeing this totally wicked 1980's B movie, called Sleepaway Camp. It's all about the ending.

Okay, I'd better go to work on my stories. Thanks for all the feedback everyone. *happy* *happy*


posted on 25-Aug-2002 7:45:28 PM by Lillie
I'm gonna post the next chapter tonight. Thanks for all of the feedback everyone. I was pretty amazed by it all. *happy*


posted on 25-Aug-2002 9:55:31 PM by Lillie
Should be updating within the hour. Had to finish the next chapter of Fight Or Fall. BTW, you guys should go check that out. Don't forget that it's the sequel to Endings And Beginnings. *big*


posted on 25-Aug-2002 11:10:42 PM by Lillie
Dedicated to: talena (SIX TIMES) *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* , ⊕ngel, limegreenli, roswellluver, Shama (THREE TIMES) *happy* *happy* , ISLANDGIRL5, A Rose Is True Blue (THREE TIMES) *happy* *happy* , CrashdownGurlie, Strawberry88, mermaidgirl, mandyhanford (THREE TIMES) *happy* *happy* , b4echstarrynite (THREE TIMES) *happy* *happy* , woodwinds, Lady_without_a_clue, Lizzie_Parker17, Spicy trini1, sylvia37, tamira, LegalAlien, LizParkerEvans4evax, tabasco sauce, JDreamer, marteloise (TWICE) *happy* , AvengingAngelIQ, LittleBit, PhoenixFlamez, brianna, Alex Balex, angeld34 (TWICE) *happy* , Twilighteyes1974, carolina_moon, Amberlra, IceRose, frances, PSW2001, frenchkiss70, salonica, Anya (TWICE) *happy* , mpls muse, Zanthe, NATEVANS.

NOTE: You guys don’t have to feel the least bit sorry for Tess as she was on the show. Because we never really learnt about what had happened to her before coming to Roswell. So most of the things that I have happen in here are coming from my own ideas and thoughts. And I don’t think that Tess will have a large role in this story. Not too sure about that quite yet. But come on, guys. I am a total dreamer who happens to likes some angst. (Hmm. . . . does that say something about me? LOL.) So Tess will not be much of a problem. BTW, I hope that this chapter doesn't really suck.


Chapter 2

You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love.” Kyle sang as he made his way into the house. That party at Laurie’s house had been kick ass. It had been a long time since he so much fun. It was nearly four o’clock in the morning, and it looked like Liz wasn’t even back. At least her car wasn’t there. But he hadn’t seen her at the party, not that he had looked around very often. He had been way too preoccupied.

Kyle made his way through the living room and down the short hall to his father’s bedroom, knocking softly on the door. When he didn’t hear anything, Kyle slowly opened the door, hoping that he wouldn’t see anything weird if his father was there with Ms. DeLuca. “Dad! Are you there?” he asked.

Frowning, Kyle saw that there wasn’t anyone in the room. His father wasn’t home. Maybe his dad and Liz had gone out and done something. He remembered seeing his father at graduation with Ms. DeLuca; that had been just before he had taken off. He hadn’t seen Liz since the ceremony ended. He’d seen her talking Max. That loser.

Just the thought of that punk got Kyle angry. Ever since he could remember, Max had also pretended to be that sympathetic friend for Tess, and Kyle knew that Max had wanted his girlfriend and that had pissed him off. Tess usually had laughed it all off. Saying that he was wrong, that he was just jealous. Not that he had been or anything. He had so much more going for him than Max did. When Liz had come to town, spouting that she and Max were supposed to be together, Kyle had been relieved. He’d really thought that Max and Liz would get together and Max would leave his girlfriend alone.

But no that hadn’t happened. Max hadn’t been all that interested in the petite, brunette, which Kyle simply couldn’t understand. Though Tess was the only girl for him, he could appreciate a good looking girl and Liz was damn hot. Than that damn Tess had broken his heart, when she’d dumped him three months ago. That had damn near killed Kyle. If it hadn’t been for Liz, he would have gone utterly insane, Kyle thought to himself as he made his way to Liz’s room— his former room.

“Hey, Liz. Are you in there?” Kyle asked quietly, not wanting to barge on in if she was actually home. When he didn’t hear anything, he opened the door, quickly turning on the light. What the hell? Okay, so she wasn’t here either. Maybe she was with his dad. Or maybe she was with Max, he thought as he turned the light off and began to leave the room.

Wait! What the hell? Kyle quickly turned the light on and looked around the room. What happened to everything in here? Liz’s pictures? Liz’s pictures of the two of them? There was nothing on the dresser. Kyle opened the closet door and gasped when he saw that there wasn’t any clothes in there. What the? Kyle moved towards the dresser and opened the top drawer, than the second one, than the third one. All of them were empty. What the hell happened to Liz’s clothes?

Oh Buddha? Did Liz leave? She couldn’t have left him? No way would Liz have left him and his dad. She was a member of their family. She was his sister. Liz wouldn’t just leave him like that. No, there had to be some rational explanation for all of it. Kyle knew that had to be it. Liz wouldn’t have left. She just wouldn’t have.

Kyle spotted an envelope on the bed and ran towards it, tearing it open. As he read the letter, curses spewed from his mouth. NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! She left. She left! What the hell? Why the hell had she left? Clutching the letter in his hand, Kyle ran to the living room, frantically looking for the telephone. He knew that he had to call his father. That he was the one that would know what to do.

Once Kyle found the telephone, he dialed his father’s cell phone number, closing his eyes tightly at the thought of Liz leaving. She couldn’t leave. He loved her so much. She was like a sister to him. In the seven months that she had lived with him and his father, Kyle had grown to love her and think of her as his sister. They had both spent time talking about their pain concerning their former significant others. Liz had become like the sister he never had before.

“Dad! You’ve got to come home. Something’s happened. It’s Liz. She’s gone.” Kyle went on, before his father could get a single word out. All he wanted was to find Liz wherever she had went. Kyle was afraid that he would never see her again, and he didn’t know what he would do if that happened.


“What the hell do you mean that Liz is gone? Where the hell did she go to?” Michael Guerin roared. He didn’t understand how she could just be gone like this. She had been at graduation not more than a few hours ago and now she was gone. Liz had simply vanished.

“Look at the damn note, Michael. She left. She left on her own. And she didn’t say anything about why she left. Wasn’t anyone with her tonight?” Kyle asked angrily, shoving the note into Michael’s face, not caring that he might have the wraith of the taller alien on him. He felt so damn guilty about things. He hadn’t spent any time with Liz today. He should have, maybe if he had she might not have left.

Maria shook her head at his words. She hadn’t been with Liz tonight. She had been with Michael. Hell, the last time that she had seen Liz had been at graduation. She hadn’t spent much time with her friend because she had been preoccupied with things. She had been goofing off and having fun, while Liz had been on the other side of the room, staring off in space. Shit, she thought to herself. She hadn’t been there for her friend when it had been so obvious that Liz had needed her. How long had Liz been planning on leaving Roswell? “The last time I saw Liz was at graduation. She was lost in her own little world all night. I. . . “

”I talked to Liz after the ceremony. She was talking to Jinny. We talked for maybe five minutes. She said that she was going to go home and rest. That she wasn’t feeling very well. Have you noticed her not feeling very well, Kyle?” Max asked, trying to wrap his mind around what was going on. Liz was gone. She had just up and left. He hated it! He hated that Liz had left. And he wanted her back, he would do just about anything to get her back.

“What the hell did you do to her, Max? Were you the reason that she left? What the hell happened?” Michael exploded, his anger washing over him. He felt like a failure. He hadn’t known that Liz, his own sister, had been planning to leave town. He knew that there were a million things that he should have done for his sister, but he would get into all that later with himself. Right now, his gut was telling him that Liz had left because of Max. He knew that his sister was convinced that she had strong feelings for Max.

Max looked at Michael surprised by his friends words. But he knew that Michael only wanted to find out what had happened to Liz, but so did Max. He wanted to know what the hell had happened. “I didn’t do anything to her, Michael. We talked about things. Talked about graduation, talked about the party, and when she told me that she was going to go home, I got worried about her being sick. That’s what happened, Michael. Like I said, Kyle have you noticed Liz not feeling well?”

Kyle nodded his head. Liz had told him that it wasn’t anything big, and that he shouldn’t worry about her. And he had believed her. What if something really was wrong with Liz? “Yeah, she got sick a couple of days. Just threw up and all. You know, I thought that it had something to do with Dad’s cooking. He was trying out some new recipes, and they didn’t exactly agree with me, either. But in the last few days or so, she wasn’t getting much sleep. She would come into the living room and watch TV, while I tried to sleep. You know, I woke up a couple of mornings with her still watching TV.”

“Let me look at the note again.” Jim Valenti said, taking in a deep breath. When Liz had first came to stay with him, he had thought that it was only a temporary thing, but the girl had grown on him. He had grown to love Liz Harding as his own child. She was like the daughter that he had never had. He could remember her excitement about Christmas, a holiday that she had never celebrated. He had gone out and bought her a chair of her own for the dining room table, since it only held two, one for him and Kyle. The smile she’d had on her face had nearly shattered his heart. As Jim looked over the letter again, he felt pain stab at his heart. He couldn’t believe that she had left this way. It hurt. It hurt so much.

Dear Jim, Michael, Kyle, Isabel, Maria, Max, Tess, Alex,

Guess your wondering what this note is all about? And I guess that you have already seen that I’ve left. I’m sorry but I can’t stay in Roswell anymore. I just can’t! I need to get away from it all. I know that you guys might not understand why I’m doing this. But I will call you as soon as I can. As soon as I’m fine. To let you know that I am okay. I just want to thank all of you for giving me so many memories. In the fourteen months that I was in Roswell, you guys gave me so much. You taught me so much more than Nasedo ever did. Thank you for all of that.

Jim. Words can not express what you have done for me. Taking me into your home, treating me like your own child. Thank you. I will never forget it as long as I live. In the months that I stayed with you, you taught me what a father really is. In the seven months that I lived with you, you were more of a father to me than Nasedo had been in the ten years I was with him. I will never forget you.

Michael. I’m sorry for leaving this way. Leaving you, my brother. But I will be okay, don’t forget that I have Nasedo’s training and I will be okay. I’m sorry that you and I never got closer, but you never seemed to need me. You already had everything that you needed. I just want you to know that I do love you. You’re my brother, and I will miss you.

Kyle. What can I say to you? You’ve been so much to me. You’ve been one of my dearest friends and confidantes. I know that I would have been so utterly lost without you in my life. You gave me strength to go on so many times. So many times, and I was only happy enough to be able to return the favor to you. I hate leaving you. But don’t worry, one day, when you’re least expecting me, I’ll pop up. Or maybe I’ll even use my alien powers in order to come to you. Don’t worry, I won’t interrupt any BBB (you know what that means) ;) moments. Don’t forget me or I’ll be really pissed.

Isabel. I’m sorry that we never really got the chance to know each other better. I should have spent more time with you. Shooting the breeze, talking about clothes, doing just about anything together. Not getting closer to you will be one of the things that I will always regret. I’m sorry.

Maria. Ah, Hurricane DeLuca. I will miss you so much. You are a great wonderful person and a great friend to me, even though I was never the nicest girl on the block. Thanks for looking past the semi rough edges that I had. I will treasure every moment that I shared with you. BTW, can you make sure that Jinny’s okay? She doesn’t have a clue about me leaving, and I don’t want her to get all upset. Thanks Maria. I’ll get in touch with you as soon as I can. I want to hear all the juicy stuff about you and Michael.

Max. I’m sorry on my intrusion in your life and for always going on about how we were supposed to be together. It took me awhile to realize that we really are not meant to be together. Clearly we are not the people that we were on Antar. And so I wish you all the happiness in the world. Whether it be with Tess, whether it be anyone. I hope that you have a happy life.

Tess. Just know that if you break Max’s heart, I’ll break your face. J/K. I know that some day you are going to be the doctor that you have always wanted to be. If anyone can do it, it would be you. I wish all the luck in the world and happiness to you.

Alex. Knowing you— albeit, not all that well–- has been one of the greatest pleasures in my life. You have the best sense of humor and have made me laugh a thousand times, especially when we were supposed to be all serious. Keep that sense of humor and I hope that you achieve all of your dreams. You deserve it.

I’m going to miss all of you so much. You’ve all been my family, you were always the family that I hoped for one day, and I’m sorry that I’m leaving, but I need to go. You might not understand now, but you all will someday. At least I hope that you understand. I’ll be in touch.

Love, Liz

“Where was everyone? Max, where the hell were you?” Michael asked harshly, wanting to know what the hell had happened. He knew that his sister wouldn’t have just left like that. She wouldn’t have left without telling anyone. Without a good reason. Liz just simply wasn’t that way.

“I went to the desert. I needed some time to think to myself, not that it’s any of your damn business. What about you? Where the hell were you when she was running away?” Max replied, just as harshly. It wasn’t really of Michael’s business about where he had been. Where they had been or what they had done, because it didn’t change that Liz had left.

“Really? That’s a surprise. You weren’t out fucking Tess? You have been such a bastard to my sister. She’s cared for your dumb ass while all you wanted was Tess. You’ve always made Liz feel like she wasn’t good enough.” Michael said angrily, wanting to lash out, to make Max feel the hurt and anger that Liz must have felt.

Max’s mouth dropped open at Michael’s words. The two of them had never really discussed Liz before. At least not their feelings about her. Max felt a stab in his heart at Michael’s words. Because it was true. He had made Liz feel like she wasn’t good enough. And when Tess had finally decided that she wanted to be with him, he had just brushed Liz aside, like she wasn’t important to him. That had never been his intention. He had never meant to make Liz feel that way, but he had. He had made Liz feel like she wasn’t good enough.

“Tess wasn’t with Max. I was. She was with me most of the night, just in case you wanted to know, Michael. Though I do agree with everything else that you told, Evans.” Kyle informed them, crossing his arms. Over the months, he and Liz bonded over their tales of relationship woes.

“Really? Now isn’t that something.” Michael said, cocking an eyebrow at the unfazed jock and the uncomfortable blonde. So Max’s dream girl was going back to Kyle already. Michael didn’t feel the least bit sorry for him.

Max didn’t say anything at Kyle’s admission. He really didn’t care much. He had come to the conclusion that Tess Parker wasn’t the dream girl he’d always imagined. Yes, she was smart, pretty and fun. But she was just lacking something. There was just something missing from her. And yes, she’d been one of the popular kids in school and he’d always wanted to date her, and now that he was, he didn’t want her. Kyle could have her back, for all he cared.

Tess rolled her eyes at Michael’s words. She really didn’t see the need to have to explain to anyone about what her and Kyle had been doing. “Just because I was with Kyle, doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t have anything to do with where Liz went off to. It seems to me that Liz has been planning this for awhile. That she made sure that she’d get away when no one was looking.”

Kyle felt the blood roar in his ears at Tess’ words. Just because I was with Kyle, doesn’t mean anything. Doesn’t mean anything. Doesn’t mean anything. What the fuck was that all about? After last night he thought that they were getting back together, but it. . . . It seemed that Tess didn’t want to according to her words. Her fucking words. Was she planning on stringing both him and Max along? She was planning on doing that, he realized. She was planning on doing that. He had been in love with her for four years. And evidently, it hadn’t meant the same thing to her. Their relationship hadn’t meant the same thing. That hurt. Hurt so much.

“I think Tess has a good point. Liz did wait until she was sure that she could get away. But where did she go?” Isabel asked, speaking up for the first time. She and Liz had never really been close, but Isabel would never have guessed that Liz was planning on leaving. It just was a shock.

“Has she ever mentioned a place that she’s wanted to go to? A place to visit?” Jim asked, not wanting for Michael to start in on Max about something else.

“No, she’s never really said much. I always got the impression that Liz wanted to forget about her life with Nasedo.” Maria said softly, remembering how Liz would always change the subject.

“He wasn’t the warmest person to her. Just because he took care of her, doesn’t mean that he loved her. I know that she did tell me about a place. I don’t remember much about it because I was drunk at the time. It was something Falls. I’m sure that it had Falls in it.” Kyle said, regretting that he said a single word about Nasedo. That man had been a total bastard to Liz growing up. But Liz hadn’t wanted the others to know.

“Niagra Falls? Sioux Falls? Twin Falls?” Alex suggested softly. He didn’t know what he should think about all of this. When Liz had first came to town, he hadn’t really liked her. But she had grown on him, even though they hadn’t spent much time together.

“No, I don’t think that’s it. We’re going to find her, right? Because she’s a part of your four square, right? Or what, you don’t care anymore, because your enemies have been defeated?” Kyle asked bitterly, if they weren’t going to find her than he was going to do it himself. No matter how long it took him.

“She’s my fucking sister and we’re going to find her.” Michael roared. He knew that he had screwed up because he hadn’t paid attention to what was going on. He should have known that Liz was planning on leaving. But no, he hadn’t.

“Yeah. Like that ever mattered.” Kyle muttered, angry at Michael’s words. He hadn’t bothered spending any time with his own sister.

“What the hell did you say, Valenti?” Michael asked angrily, hating the fact that Kyle was pointing out his inadequacies where things concerned his own sister. He knew that he had screwed up where Liz was concerned. He should have spent more time with her, he knew that he should have talked to her. Just do anything with her. But he hadn’t. He hadn’t spent any time at all with his own sister.

Kyle met Michael eye to eye, wanting to get his anger off of his chest. His anger towards them all who had snubbed Liz. “You never gave a damn about Liz, and she’s your own sister. You never bothered to get to know her the way that I have. You never saw that fucking terrific person that Liz is.”

Michael’s anger overcame him at Kyle’s words and he knew that Kyle was right, though. He was right about it all. He had never given his sister any time. “Screw you, Valenti. Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” he asked as he grabbed Kyle’s shirt.

“I don’t give a shit who you are, Michael. I don’t care if you’re a fucking alien or a former commander. With the exception of Maria, Me and Dad, none of you ever gave Liz much time. None of you ever got to really know Liz. I know that you, Michael, didn’t even give Liz a Christmas present. It was the very first Christmas that she actually celebrated and her own brother didn’t get her anything. I heard her crying in her room about it. She wanted something from her own brother.” Kyle informed them all, wanting them all to know about how they had hurt Liz in the last fourteen months. How if all had been a stab in the heart for her.

Michael gave a small gasp at Kyle’s words as last Christmas came back to him. “You don’t know anything, Kyle.” he said, as he drew back his fist, wanting to take his anger out on Kyle.

Jim decided that it was time to step in. He quickly pulled Michael away from his son. “Damn it, you two. Fighting about things is not going to help us find Liz. We’ll find Liz. I swear, if it’s the last thing that I do, I will find Liz.” he vowed as he looked at the teens. Maria had her arm wrapped around Michael, who was looking stoic, while Maria’s eyes were filled with tears. Isabel looked distressed, while Alex looked like he was still in shock. Tess’s calm face stood out, while Kyle’s face was a mask of anger and resentment. And Max was one of despondency. Jim knew that he would find her. He would do just about anything to find her and bring her back to Roswell.

TBC. . . . . . . . . . . .

Sorry about the wait. Was watching The Dead Zone. Is it just me or is Anthony Michael Hall a bit cute??

posted on 27-Aug-2002 12:07:32 AM by Lillie
I just wanted to answer a few questions and comments from people. I didn't answer everyone's, sorry about that. Let me explain a little about Max. He’s really confused. He does have feelings for Liz. But he is also freaked somewhat if his feelings for her have more to do with their lives back on Antar, than the people that they are now. I will get into this later on in the story.


LOL, I love the show Dead Zone as well. But alas, I missed it tonight due to homework. But hey no worries they'll play it like 50 more times this week. Was it good??

It was interesting to say the least. Johnny and Dana went way further than I ever imagined. I’m starting to like Dana better than Sarah.


I cant believe max did that to her though! jsut dumped her in a second for tess!

Max and Liz weren’t together. They were somewhat friends, not close or anything.


So... Michael thinks he's mad now---Just wait until he finds out Max got Liz pregnant!!!!

Yeah, I’m gonna have a lot of fun writing that part.

Yes, Anthony Michael Hall is cute. I can't believe the difference between now and when he was younger.

I know exactly what you mean. I thought that he was kinda ugly in the older movies, like The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles. (Farmer Ted. LOL. I love that movie.) But he’s gotten so much cuter.


I had a feeling Liz and Max had "been together" and that she was pregnant!!! (have you thought about giving us a flashback of their night together??!! PLEASE!!!)

So glad Max has figured out Tess is not what he wants and that she and Kyle are getting back together!! Although I don't think she's good enough for him!!!

Oh, yeah. There will be a flashback of that night. Already have it in my head. Only I can’t figure out where it will be in the story. There’s going to be a lot of flashbacks in the story into Liz’s life through things. And that’s going to be one of them. And Kyle and Tess are NOT getting back together. Kyle’s rather pissed by her words.

posted on 27-Aug-2002 12:43:32 PM by Lillie
NOTE: Really really bad news guys. Something is wrong with my computer. Something about the hard drive. I shouldn’t even be on right now, but I am telling you what’s going on. We’re going to take the computer into the store most likely tomorrow night. I don’t know how long I’m going to be away from the computer, it could be a few days or maybe two weeks. I’m really not sure. I plan on working on my stories during this time. I’m so sorry about this, but there’s really nothing that I can do about this. I’ll update the stories that I can.


posted on 29-Aug-2002 2:47:08 PM by Lillie
Well, since it's going to be three weeks before I get my computer back. I'm going to update this story tonight. Thanks for all the feedback.

Amber *big*

posted on 29-Aug-2002 4:59:11 PM by Lillie
Disclaimer: Somewhere Out There belongs to Our Lady Peace.

Dedicated to: sylvia37, roswellluver, AvengingAngelIQ, mpls muse, IceRose, Shama (THREE TIMES) *happy* *happy* , talena (FOUR TIMES) *happy* *happy* *happy* , A Rose Is True Blue, mandyhanford (FOUR TIMES) *happy* *happy* *happy* , nayney, MissTessa, Susan709, woodwinds, Eccentric One, brianna (TWICE) *happy* , frances, frenchkiss70 (TWICE) *happy* , Anya (SIX TIMES) *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* , begonia9508, LittleBit (THREE TIMES) *happy* *happy* , Lady_without_a_clue, Lullaby (TWICE) *happy* , angeld34, Morning Dreamgirl, CrashdownGurlie, Twilighteyes1974, Alex Balex, BelevnDreamsToo (TWICE) *happy* , JaneLane, mermaidgirl (TWICE) *happy* , ISLANDGIRL5 (TWICE) *happy* , Chrissy, Alien614, Spicy trini1, Strawberry Shortcake, chinablueeyes.

chinablueeyes, There’s nothing I can do about the whole thing. All I can promise is that come Sept. 21, I better have my computer back, or I’m going to call up the company and bitch them out. I’m sure that I’ll have chapters completed on paper at least. I’ll type them once I get my computer back. Max does need to get his head out of his ass, but when he sees Liz again, he will have to work for her. That’s all I can say without giving away too much.

Chapter 3

You’re falling out of reach, defying gravity. I know you’re out there, somewhere out there. You’re falling back to me, the star that I can’t see. I know your out there, oh. You’re falling out of reach, defying gravity. . .” Liz sang along as she drove towards her home. The weather man said that it was supposed to snow for Christmas, but so far the only thing that they got was rain. Once she reached the red stoplight, she turned around and smiled widely. “How’s my big boy doing back there? You okay, Justin?”

At her words, Justin’s kicked his feet in his car seat, and Liz’s heart melted. She loved her little boy more than life itself. Every moment with him was just so precious. Justin had been her reason for going on over the last months. He had given her life meaning. Before getting pregnant, she had wondered where she was going to go with her life. Antar was destroyed, no way of ever going back home. And college had been such a foreign term to her. True, she had done all the things in order to go to college, had to keep up the illusion, but she had never really even considered going, not when she had always thought that they would do home to Antar.

Liz waved her fingers at Justin before turning back around and moved the car down the street when the light changed to green. She and Justin had such a fun day. They had gone shopping, and Liz had bought all sorts of new adorable baby clothes for him, since it was damn colder here in Oregon than in Roswell. And she bought him the most cute little cowboy boots. She just couldn’t resist buying them for him; they had reminded her so much of the ones that Kyle had back in Roswell. And than after their shopping excursion, they had gone to the animal shelter, and she’d bought three pets. She’d bought two kittens and a puppy.

Liz had never grown up with any pets, Nasedo had always told her no. More like yelled no at her. And she had always wanted to have a pet, but he’d never allowed for her to have one. And she didn’t want that for Justin. She wanted him to have the best childhood that he could have. But he wouldn’t have a father. The little nagging voice wouldn’t leave her alone. The voice that told her that she was taking something away from her son. That she was taking away his chance to have a father in his life. But Liz knew that her decision had been the right one.

She and Max were not meant to be together, like she had always thought. That truth came to her the night after she and Max had slept together. Max hadn’t said anything much about it, neither had she. But the look in his eyes had been enough for her. The look in his eyes had been one of shame and shock, among other things. And she had taken off, without saying much to him. And she’d spent the night in the park thinking about things. The conclusion that she had reached changed everything for her.

Liz sighed at her thoughts. She didn’t want to be thinking about all of this. She was happy where her life was at. She loved every single moment that she spent with her beautiful little boy. He was everything to her, and she was going to give him every single that she had never had. She was going to give him a mother’s love, something that she had never had in her life. And she had meet some wonderful people here in Oregon.

Francesca Randolph, the midwife that had delivered Justin was one of the most wonderful people that she had ever met. Francesca was in her early fifties, and had been in her line of work for almost thirty years. Francesca told her that she had delivered more than a thousand babies. That had been one of the reasons that she’d trusted the woman. Trusting people had never come very easily for Liz, considering the life that she’d grown up with, but Francesca had just made it all so easily for her.

“We’re almost home, Justin, sweetie.” Liz said with a smile as she drove down her street. She’d adored the house that Nasedo had bought so long ago. She had foggy memories of it. She thought that it was where he had brought her after she had left her pod. But she wasn’t certain. It was a nice big home, where she would make sure everything was homey for Justin. Growing up with Nasedo had been a cold place, she wanted the opposite for Justin.

“Oh shit! Justin, don’t ever say bad words.” Liz said, as she pulled into the driveway of her large frame house. Max’s freaking Jeep was in the driveway. Great. Just absolutely perfect. Max was going to find out about Justin, and there wasn’t a single thing that she could do about it. If she backed out of the driveway, than Max would probably just come after her. And it would only be a matter of time before she was found out again. When she got out of the car, she would go get Justin and it would be evident about who Justin was to her. She had always been told that Justin looked like her, except for his eyes and coloring, that was all Max’s.

And Liz knew that she wouldn’t be able to tell him no. She wouldn’t be able to lie to Max and say that Justin wasn’t his son. Ever since she had meet Max last year, she had never been able to not tell him the truth. Maybe it was her remembering the attentive husband from Antar, but she had almost always told him the truth. She’d started lying to him after that night they’d spent together. Well, maybe before that. She had always lied to him about her feelings. He hadn’t felt the same way that she had for him, and it had just seemed easier for her not to talk about how she felt about him. Not when he always made goo-goo eyes at Tess.

Liz took in a deep breath as she excited the car. She knew that she had no escape. None at all, it was time to face Max. And there wasn’t a thing that she could do about it. Liz slowly walked around the car to the backseat, knowing that Max would be damn confused about her behavior. But she didn’t care. She wasn’t about to leave her beautiful baby in the car. She wanted to get him inside the warmth of the house first. Liz bent her head and kissed Justin on the forehead as she unbuckled his car seat. Once she got it undone, she fixed the blanket around him to keep him warm and hauled the car seat out of the car, firmly shutting the door, not wanting of any of his new pets to manage to get out.

Taking in another deep breath, Liz began walking quickly to the front door, just waiting for Max to pop up and ask her a billion questions, ask her what the hell she had been thinking when she had taken off the way that she had. And than he would look down at the car seat and his mouth would fall open, and his ears might start turning red when he realized exactly who was in the car seat.

“Oh my god. Look at you, Liz. You look so amazing. Damn you, I missed you so much during the last few months. Why the hell did you just leave the way that you did? Do you have the slightest clue what you have put us all through? How we were so damn worried about you?” Maria screeched, as her friend came around the side of the car that she and Michael had been leaning on, wanting until they saw Liz. Michael’s idea to sort of surprise Liz. Let her think that Max had been the one to come.

Liz’s mouth dropped open and tears came to her eyes when she saw Maria. It had been so long since she’d seen her friend. Maria’s hair had grown longer and blonder if possible. But everything else was the same Maria that she had known. The pretty blue eyes that sparkled with mischief, which were currently sparkling with anger.

“What the hell is that?” Michael shouted as he caught sight of his sister carrying a car seat? A baby’s car seat? What the hell was his sister doing with a baby and a freaking car seat? His mind began racing with the possibilities. This child was it his sister's? Had Liz left because she’d been pregnant. If so, who the fuck had gotten his sister pregnant?

“This, Michael dear, is a baby. I’m pretty sure that you have seen one before. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to take Justin inside. In case you haven’t noticed it is quite cold out here.” Liz replied sarcastically, blinking away the tears at his words. What the hell had she expected from her brother? A hug? A ‘I’m happy to see your okay, Liz’? Well, whatever she had been expecting, she hadn’t gotten it. And she was sure that she wasn’t going to get it. Michael had never been the warmest person to her, and she doubted that her months away from Roswell had changed that.

“Justin? His name is Justin? My God, Liz. Was that the whole reason that you left Roswell because you were pregnant? I mean, wow. I feel like I’m in a soap opera. We sent the last few months searching for you. We went through Nasedo’s records trying to find any sort of clue that would help us find where you might have gone. Kyle said that he remembered you wanted to go to some place with Falls in it. That really didn’t help us all that much. You wouldn’t believe how many places in the US have Falls in them. I swear, Sioux Falls, Niagra Falls, Wichita Falls, Falls Church, Idaho Falls, Great Falls, Twin Falls. The list goes on.” Maria said, as she fell in step with Liz, casting a look at the baby. Oh, he had to be a cutie. She was positive about it. Though she couldn’t see much of him. He had a little hat covering his head, and the blanket was pulled up in order to keep him warm.

“Stop rambling, Maria. We’re going to take this talk inside, Liz. We have a lot to discuss.” Michael said, narrowing his eyes at the car seat that Liz was carrying. His sister had a child? His sister had probably left Roswell because she was pregnant? But who the hell was the father? Some prick that had just decided not to marry her after getting her pregnant? Or had it been Kyle? Kyle had said a few things over the last few months that had made Michael wonder if Liz and Kyle had been much more than friends. Was Kyle the father of Liz’s baby? His nephew?

Liz quickly unlocked the door, and let them into the house that she had been staying for the last six months. When she first came here back in June, she’d been so shocked to find out that it was actually somewhat homey. During her years with Nasedo, nothing had been homey. It had been decorated by someone, not him or her. Her rooms had always been a sterile white color. And he hadn’t allowed for her to put up any thing on the walls. Closing the door behind them, Liz quickly set down Justin's car seat and kissed him on the forehead, eliciting a smile from him. She looked up at Michael and Maria, who were watching her silently. “Look, I have things in the car. If you don’t mind, Michael would you help me get them. That way we can come back here and talk. Maria, can you watch Justin until I get back?”

“I. . . what if he starts crying?” Maria asked, afraid that the kid would start crying. She had never really bothered with any kids. And just because she thought that Liz’s was pretty cute that wouldn’t mean a damn thing if he started crying. And what if he spit on her?

“Take him out of the car seat. And talk to him. He loves it when I talk to him. Talk to him about anything. As long as you talk to him, he’ll be fine. He hates it when he thinks that he’s being ignored.” Liz said, as she gave him another kiss, and quickly made her way out of the house, not paying any attention to the helpless look that Maria sent Michael, who the shrug he replied back. Liz knew that she was going to be grilled by Michael for her pregnancy and all. And she was dreading that. But she knew that she couldn’t honestly tell him that Max was Justin’s father. Michael would think that it was his responsibility as Max’s second in command in telling him about Justin, and Liz really couldn’t let that happen. She didn’t want Max hating her for getting pregnant.

Fifteen minutes later, Michael and Liz had brought all the bags, the pets and the litter box into the house. They’d done it all without saying a single word to each other. Which hadn’t really surprised Liz. She knew that Michael was probably waiting to unload on her once they were all done. But she was going to give Michael a piece of her mind. She wasn’t going to let him be an ass to her.

“We’re done getting everything in, so now you have to talk to me, Liz. Who the hell got you pregnant? Who was it? Was it Kyle? Or was it just some random guy you got with in order to try to stick it to Max? This was the whole reason that you left Roswell, right? Cause you got pregnant. And what the hell were you thinking? Running off this way when your pregnant? You could have got us caught? How long was your pregnancy? Who delivered the baby? I mean, jeez, Liz didn’t you even bother to think about all of us, what you might cause with your running away?” Michael shouted, wanting to get it all off of his chest. He hated that his sister hadn’t confided in him that she was pregnant. That she hadn’t told him that he was going to be an uncle. And there were all of these other questions, someone might have gotten wind of a weird pregnancy and call the government.

Liz bit down on her tongue as she tried to calm down her temper. She wanted to yell at Michael, but she decided that she should keep her voice down. She knew that Justin would be able to pick up on her mood. “Don’t you dare talk to me that way, Michael. You have no right. I left Roswell because it wasn’t the place for me any longer. And who Justin’s father is, is none of your concern. He’s not going to have a single thing to do with my son’s life. And you wonder why I never said anything, because I knew that you would react this way. My pregnancy was relatively normal. Other than only being pregnant for five months, but the birth was perfectly normal. Justin is fine and healthy. There’s no indication that anything was out of the ordinary. So don’t you dare, try to make me feel badly about my leaving, because I’m not. I would have done it all over again, if I had the chance.” she said, calmly.

Maria knew that Michael was about to go on overload. Especially with Liz’s calm tone. That was one thing that he hated the most. He hated when people seemed rational, and he didn’t. “Look, Liz left Roswell, there’s nothing that can be done to change that. And she had a baby. She had Justin. But look at him, Michael. He’s so beautiful. Look at his dark hair, and his beautiful little eyes.” she told him, trying to make him calm down. Looking at Justin again, Maria couldn’t help but think that Max was the father. It was all about the eyes. They were brown, but they also looked a little goldeny. The same that Max’s were. But Liz would have said something if she and Max had done the nasty. Well, she might not, seeing how Max had always sort of wanted Tess. And than Max had gotten with her.

“Who’s the father, Liz? Why the hell are you trying to protect the son of a bitch? Huh? Were you afraid that Max wouldn’t see you as his pure queen any longer since you decided to go off with some other guy? Look, Liz. Just tell me his name. I won’t kill him or anything. That would leave the kid without a father. And no one deserves to grow up without a father. It was Kyle, wasn’t it? He said some things that made me wonder about just how close the two of you were. Did he know that you were pregnant when you ran off?” Michael demanded angrily, clenching his fists. Kyle Valenti had to be the father. He couldn’t think of anyone else who had been close to his sister. And his sister wasn’t a slut, he knew that. She wouldn’t have just slept with a virtual stranger. The kid deserved to have a father. Even if it was Kyle Valenti.

“No, Kyle is not Justin’s father. I’m not going to tell you a single thing about who fathered Justin. And you know what Michael, it’s better for Justin to grow up with no father rather than a father who didn’t want him. Do you know what that’s like, Michael? To grow up knowing that you were only an obligation; that there was no love involved at all. That no one loved you? You don’t know what that was like, but I do. I knew every single day of my life that Nasedo didn’t love me, I was his obligation. It was his duty to make sure that I was okay. And I don’t want that for Justin. He deserves a hell of a lot more than what I got. And I’m going to give that to him. Me! And no one else. I have made a home here in Oregon and I’m not going to go back to Roswell. It isn’t my home and never has been. It’s only been the place that you, Max and Isabel were. You three were supposed to be my family, but you didn’t want me. And now, it’s too late, Michael. I don’t want ya’ll, and neither will Justin. He doesn’t need any of you in his life. He’s going to have a normal one here in Oregon, with a mother who loves him!” Liz declared, feeling the tears come to her eyes.

Liz didn’t care that she had just told them some of what it had been like to grow up with Nasedo. They had never known about it. They had never known what it was like to always dream about finding her family, only for them not to want her. Or how hard she had tried to get them to like her, and how stupid she had felt when things she did back fired. They didn’t know anything, especially Michael. He was her brother and he hadn’t bothered to get to know her. He had never really cared about getting to know her.

Michael took in a harsh breath at her words. He hated that she had felt like that growing up with Nasedo, but he did understand what it was like being an obligation. It had been that way with Hank. Hank had always made him feel that way, just waiting for that monthly check that he would spend on beer or even the occasional trip to Vegas to go gamble it away. But they weren’t talking about him, they were talking about Liz and the kid, about Justin. Justin was his name. “Don’t make me have to call Max. He will get you to come back to Roswell, Liz. You know that we are all supposed to stay together. Anything could happen to us. Our enemies might be all gone, but still. What if you were in an accident, what if something happened to Justin? You wouldn’t be able to make him better because no medicine can cure him. He would be so far away from the healing stones, from Max who would heal him. Think about that, Liz.”

“Don’t you dare bring Max into this. You think that you can get him to play the king card in order to get me home. I don’t think so. He’s not a king anymore, is he? There is no more Antar, hence no more King. You can’t make me go back to Roswell. I’m not going to go back, you can’t make me. And you have some nerve into trying to emotional blackmail me with my son. This conversation is over Michael. I’m going to my room, and don’t you dare come anywhere near it.” Liz said fiercely, her eyes blazing with anger, as she grabbed Justin from his car seat and headed to her room. She didn’t want to think about Michael’s words right now. He wouldn’t call Max, would he?

Michael exhaled a breath, he hadn’t realized that he was even holding. He hated having argued with Liz that way, but she wasn’t seeing what he was talking about. She didn’t see things his way. She didn’t understand that she had to go home to Roswell. He hadn’t communicated right with her. He hadn’t told her that he wanted her to come back, that he had missed her, that he wanted to make it all up to her that he hadn’t been there for her. “I fucked up, didn’t I, Maria?”

“Well, that’s one word for it, Michael. You were a bastard to her. She didn’t need for some of your comments. She’s your sister, Michael.” Maria said softly, hating the way that they had argued. She knew that Liz had tried hard to keep a rein on her emotions. And Liz’s words about not wanting Michael to bring Max into all of it, she’d known it in that second that Max was Justin’s father. It made sense. Why Liz had left, why Liz didn’t want for Max to try to make Liz come back. Max Evans was the father of Liz’s baby. Maria was sure about it all. And she didn’t know what she should do. She couldn’t very well tell Michael. He’d flip out on her.

“Yeah, I was, wasn’t I? Hey, can you go check on Liz, please. It would mean a lot to me if you did. She’s always liked you better than me.” Michael said, with a small smile. He knew that was true, cause he’d always been sort of a jerk to his sister.

“Yeah. Sure. I’ll go check on her. I love you Michael.” Maria said softly, giving him a kiss on the cheek as she made her way to where she assumed Liz’s room was. Maybe she could talk Liz into coming back to Roswell. Roswell where all of her friends and family were instead of being alone in some strange city. It wasn’t right of Liz.

Michael waited until Maria left the room, before he took out his cell phone and dialed Max’s number. He’d been a total prick to Liz, his own sister, but there wasn’t anything that he could do about that now. “Maxwell, it’s me, Michael.”

“Michael? Did you see her? How is she? She’s okay right? You talked her into coming back to Roswell?” Max asked, crossing his fingers. He wanted Liz to come back, he wanted her to come back so much. He had missed her so much through the last few months. He hated having screwed up their friendship that they had been working on when they’d slept together, and he wanted to make it up to her. He wanted to be able to be friends with her.

“No dice, Maxwell. I fucked things up. I said the wrong things to her. But I found out the reason that Liz left Roswell. She was pregnant, Max. She has a baby. A boy. That’s the whole reason that she left Roswell. Cause she got pregnant and she didn’t want the father to know, at least I’m guessing on the second part. She won’t tell me who knocked her up. When I find the guy, I’m gonna kill him!” Michael declared, knowing that he was going to shock Max, but he didn’t care. Michael was willing to guess that Liz had totally abandoned the notion that she and Max were meant to be together, if she had slept with someone else, that was a sign of sorts.

Max couldn’t breath as Michael’s words reverberated through his head. Liz had been pregnant when she’d left Roswell. She had a baby. And she hadn’t said who the father was. She had refused to name the father. It had to be him, Max was sure. When he and Liz had slept together, she’d been a virgin, he was sure about that. They had slept together on April 30, he remembered the day. He was a father. He had a son. A son that he had no clue about. Liz had lied to his face that night and she’d ran away and she’d taken his son with her. Never giving him a chance to be there. To be there when his son had been born. She’d taken it all away from him.

“Maxwell! You listening to me? Some prick got my sister pregnant! I asked her if it was Kyle, and she said that it wasn’t. But she still refused to name the asshole. She’s protecting him. I don’t see why. He got her pregnant!” Michael growled angrily, wanting to wrap his hands around the guys neck.

“I. . . . was it a normal pregnancy or what, Michael? Who delivered him?” Max finally said, wanting to know all about it. All about his child. His son. Hell, he didn’t even know what his son’s name was. His child with Liz. Why hadn’t she told him anything about her being pregnant? She’d just left everything and went off on her own and had a baby. Their baby. She hadn’t planned on telling him, Max was sure of that. Liz wouldn’t have let him know a single thing about his child, and that hurt. It hurt like hell that she would have kept that from him. Kept his son away from him.

“Yeah, according to Liz it was a normal pregnancy. Except the time of pregnancy was five months. I’m not sure how old the kid is. I didn’t get a real good look of him. He’s got to be at least a month, maybe more. Liz said that she doesn’t want to come back to Roswell. That it’s not her home. She said that it would be better for the kid to grow up with no father than a father that didn’t want him. If it wasn’t Kyle that got her pregnant, than I have no idea who it could have been.” Michael said quietly, hating himself for talking to his sister the way that he had. He should have talked her better in a different manner. But he’d let his temper get in the way.

Max swallowed hard at Michael’s words. Liz really thought that he wouldn’t have wanted his own child. That he wouldn’t want his son. NO!!! He would never turn his back on his own child, even if he was so confused over his feelings for Liz. He cared for Liz immensely, and sometimes he even thought that he could be in love with her, but that was only remnants from Antar. The love that Zan had for his wife Anais, not what Max felt for Liz. “What’s his name? What’s the babies name?”

“Justin. His name is Justin. Look, Maxwell. Maria's trying to talk to Liz right now. Hopefully, she can talk her into coming back to Roswell, despite that asshole who got her pregnant. I’ll call you back later.” Michael said quietly, hanging up the phone before Max could protest. Michael couldn’t help but feel like a failure. That’s all that he had been doing with Liz ever since she came to Roswell. Screwing things up.

Max listened to the dial tone for a moment, before dropping the phone to the side of his bed. Justin. That was his son’s name. Justin Evans sounded great. Max knew that he was going to be the best father that he could be. He would give his son all of his love. He would show Liz that she was wrong, that he did want his son. He would have to talk to his father. His father would know what to do, since he was a lawyer. Max knew that he couldn’t push Liz too much, because Liz might run away, run with his son. And he couldn’t let that happen. Max knew that he could give Justin a good life, he had plenty of money thanks to his grandma Claudia. But he knew that he had his work cut out for him, if he was going to try to convince Liz to come back to Roswell.

TBC. . . . . . . . . . .

Now, the Evans know that their children are aliens. But this is it, guys. No updates for three weeks or so.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 29-Aug-2002 5:00:28 PM ]
posted on 30-Aug-2002 4:31:13 PM by Lillie
Just bumping. *happy* *happy*

posted on 10-Sep-2002 11:36:24 AM by Lillie
Thanks for all of the bumps guys. Ya'll are the best. When I get my computer back, I promise that your going to have an update. Maybe sooner, but don't go quoting me on that.

I just want to tell you guys, who I meet this weekend. System Of A Down and Phil, formerly of Pantera, now of some group called Down. (I don't really know who he was, when I meet him.) I was way awe struck when I meet SOAD, so I didn't get their autographs. I'm still angry at myself.

Thanks for all of the feedback and bumps. And someone said that I was going to have a lot of dedicating to do (Sorry, I forgot who said that, but I don't want to screw your name up.) But you leave feedback for me, than it's the least that I can do to dedicate to you, since you guys take the time out to let me know what you think. And I really enjoy reading everything that you guys say about my stories.


posted on 17-Sep-2002 10:59:37 AM by Lillie
wavey wavey wavey wavey wavey wavey

Hey everyone. Thanks for all of the bumps. It means alot. I have been working on this story. More than the others that I have. Hopefully on Thursday I can post the next chapter for you guys. Now, don't hold it against me if I don't. And if I don't post on Thursday, I'm sure that I can either post on Monday or Tuesday of next week; if I don't have my computer back.

And hey, guys. Go check out the challenge thread that I have on the fan fic discussion board. I'd really love it if you guys checked them out. Maybe someone might take one or two. *wink* Here's the thread guys: There's about 25 challenges you can choose from. viewthread?forum=AMB_AP641015105&id=20986


[ edited 2 time(s), last at 17-Sep-2002 11:26:25 AM ]
posted on 19-Sep-2002 11:27:22 AM by Lillie
Still no computer. I hoped to update but I need to leave for work in like fifteen minutes. They change my work schedule on me without telling me. Men!! I'm so so so so sorry guys. It's either going to be Monday or Tuesday for me; unless I get my computer back; but I doubt it. It's probably going to be here at the end of the month. I hate Best Buy now; there taking their precious time with fixing it.

I feel so badly leaving you guys in the lurch this way. I'll tell you what the next two chapters are about. In the next chapter, Maria and Liz talk, and you see the first time the two meet. They didn't like each other very much. *wink* And than the following chapter is Michael and Maria talking, and a little bit of Liz.

I'm really sorry guys. I know that you were hoping that I'd be able to post, and I wish I could. Don't hate me guys.

BTW, Anya, I'm still working on your challenge. *wink*


posted on 27-Sep-2002 9:09:47 PM by Lillie
I'm so sorry about the wait in the chapter. I tried to get it posted last week, but things happened and I couldn't. Sorry about that. I'm pretty sure that I'll be able to post tonight. After Law and Order: SVU is done. I definitely can't miss that premiere. *wink*


posted on 28-Sep-2002 12:13:19 AM by Lillie
Dedicated to:
mpls muse (TWICE) ,
chinablueeyes (EIGHT TIMES) ,
frenchkiss70 (TWELVE TIMES) ,
Anya (SEVENTY TIMES) , pangel2 pangel5 pcheerleader pangel5
the better twin,
brianna (THREE TIMES) ,
Eccentric One,
LittleBit (FIVE TIMES) ,
BelevnDreamsToo (THREE TIMES) ,
Strawbehrry Shortcake (TWICE) ,
talena (FIFTY FIVE TIMES) , pdevil pgreen pflowerhat1
CrashdownGurlie (TEN TIMES) ,
PhoenixFlamez (THREE TIMES) ,
mandyhanford (TWENTY SIX TIMES) ,
PSW2001 (TWICE) ,
Lullaby (TWICE) ,
A Rose Is True Blue (TWICE) ,
bliss (THREE TIMES) ,
Spicy trini1,
Gagnes Girl (TWICE) ,
dreamer4-life (TWICE) ,
mermaidgirl (FIVE TIMES) ,
StarCandy (TWICE) ,
cyberchic121 (THREE TIMES).

chinablueeyes, No, I don’t think that this story will have a sequel. I’m playing this one by ear, I don’t really have a definite idea in plan. It originally was going to be a one parter.

Chapter 4

“Liz, can I come in. Please?” Maria asked softly, as she knocked on Liz’s bedroom door. She wanted to talk to her friend, to tell her what had happened in the last six months. Tell her everything that she had missed happening in Roswell. And she wanted to talk to Liz about Max, because she knew that Max was Justin’s father. She could tell just by looking at the kid. And Maria thought that if Michael had actually looked at Justin that he would have seen it myself, but he’d been in such a tirade. And he’d said everything wrong to Liz. He hadn’t needed to talk to her the way that he had, but at least Liz had told him back.

When Maria didn’t get an answer, she knocked on the door again. Poor Liz. She felt just so badly for her. What everything must have been like. Growing up with a cold hearted man like Nasedo. Knowing that you were his duty, his obligation, that he held no love for you. And than when Liz had come to Roswell, she must have been expecting so much from her family, but in the end, she hadn’t gotten any of it. At least not from the people that she wanted it most from. Liz hadn’t gotten much from Max, Michael and Isabel. “Liz, please. Let me in. I want to talk to you. You’re my friend, and I’ve missed you so much. Please.”

Liz bit her lip as she held Justin against her chest. She knew that she should let Maria in, but she was just so angry and saddened by everything that Michael had said to her. She didn’t want for him to call Max. She didn’t want Max to know about Justin. She knew that he wouldn’t want their baby. He hadn’t wanted to have anything to do with her. Things were so much different from Antar. She remembered a husband who had been thrilled when she’d told him that she was pregnant. But that wasn’t Max. Max wasn’t her husband. And Liz had known that Max wouldn’t have been thrilled if she had told him that she was pregnant. “Yeah, come on in, Maria.”

Maria gave a sigh of relief as she twisted the door knob, and walked into Liz’s room. Maria couldn’t help but smile as she watched Liz hold Justin against her chest on the bed. The two kittens— an orange tabby and a skinny white one played on the floor, with the puppy, who looked like a lab was chewing on one of Liz’s shoes. “You’ve got yourself a mini zoo in here, Liz.”

“I know, I never had any pets growing up. I’d always wanted one, but Nasedo never let me have one. He gave me a dozen reasons, and still when I said I wanted one, he ordered me to shut up about a damn dog. I’m going to give Justin everything that I never had. Because he deserves to have everything. He deserves to gain everything.” Liz said as Justin began flailing his arms around, signaling that he was hungry. “Justin’s hungry, so. . . yeah, don’t look at my boobs or anything. I’m getting rather ashamed of them, they’ve gotten so big.”

“I’ve always wanted big boobs. But sadly, I wasn’t blessed with any. Though looking at you, I guess that someday— not anytime soon— when I have a kid, I’ll get some boobs.” Maria said with a smile, wanting to make Liz feel more comfortable. But she knew that she wasn’t because she wanted to talk about Max and Justin and Liz. “Lizzie, I know that you want to give Justin everything that you think he deserves. But you’re not giving him a father. Doesn’t he deserve to have both of his parents in his life? I’m not an idiot, I can see just by looking at Justin, who his father is. I know that Max is his father. I know I’m right, Liz. Max is Justin’s father.”

Liz didn’t say anything at her friends words. She held Justin against her chest as she breast-fed him. Why was everyone trying to make things so much harder for her? Liz knew that leaving Roswell with Justin had been the right thing to do. It had been the only way. The only way to let Max be happy with Tess, and for her to be happy with Justin. It hurt that she had left behind Maria, Jim, Kyle and even Michael. But she had been trying to do what was right for everyone else. Not to think about what was right for her.

“Your refusal to say anything tells me that I’m right. I am, aren’t I? Max is Justin’s father. I can tell because of his eyes. They’re just like Max’s. Liz, I’m sure that you thought that you were doing the best thing, but you aren’t. Your taking away Max’s right to be Justin’s father, and that’s not fair. It’s really not fair, Liz.” Maria said quietly. She knew that Max was a good guy, and that he would be a great father. Max wouldn’t be anything like the father that she had. Her father had been the ultimate jerk, but Maria knew that Max would do anything for his child.

“He’s my baby, Maria. I’m all that Justin needs. He doesn’t need anything else in his life other than me.” Liz said quietly, not meeting her friend’s eyes. She was sure that if she meet Maria’s eyes, that her friend would guess that Liz was so confused over her feelings if she was doing the right thing for her baby.

“I know that you will give Justin everything that he deserves. That you’ll give him everything that you never got from Nasedo. But you never had a father, and that’s exactly what Justin’s not going to have. You never grew up with your family, and your denying Justin the right to grow up surrounded by a family that loves him. Max, Isabel, the Evans, Michael, me, Jim, Kyle. We all love you Liz, and we want you to come back to Roswell. We’ve missed you so much. And I know that Max will love Justin. He won’t ever turn his back on his child. His son. I know that he won’t.” Maria said quietly, not wanting to disrupt Justin, who was still engrossed with eating.

Liz didn’t answer her friend when she saw that Justin was finished. Deftly, closing her shirt to cover herself, she lifted Justin to burp him. Patting his back, she thought about Maria’s words. All Liz wanted to do what was right. Right for Justin, she didn’t want her little boy to be in any pain. And herself, she knew that she didn’t want to be in any pain either. And she knew that having to see Max and Tess together was going to be so painful for her. And she didn’t want to have to see that. Maybe it was selfish of her, but she didn’t want Tess to be around her son. Liz didn’t like the idea that one day Tess could be her son’s stepmother. It wasn’t what she wanted. It wasn’t something that she could bear to happen.

Liz smiled to herself as Justin let out a belch. “What a good boy, you are Justin.” she said, starting a rocking motion for him. She looked over at Maria, not wanting her friend to think that she was ignoring her.

“I’m trying to do what’s best for Justin, and not think about myself. To just think what’s right for my little boy. I’m really trying, and I want Justin to be happy. And I think that eventually Max might come to resent Justin, because of me. I mean, did he ever imagine that he would have a child with me?” Liz told her quietly, trying to ignore the memories of Zan, holding their children in his arms. He had been a wonderful father to their children.

“So you’re admitting that Max is Justin’s father! Lizzie, Max isn’t with Tess anymore. He broke up with her. I’m really not sure why he did, but they aren’t together anymore. I love them both. I’ve known them forever, but they aren’t good together, they just aren’t. But you know what, you’re wrong about Max. He would never resent Justin, I’ve known him since I was eight years old. He would never do that, Liz. I know that you must be scared, angry and hurt about a lot of things. Max is human— at least half— but he does make mistakes. Liz, tell him. He deserves to know about his child, don’t you think?” Maria said softly, not wanting to talk to loudly, since Justin had fallen asleep.

Liz bit her lip at Maria’s words. Max wasn’t with Tess? She didn’t want to raise her hopes about anything at all. That didn’t mean anything. Not at all. Liz knew that she and Max were not meant to be together, and they never would be. It had been okay for him to have a one night stand with her, but being with her, was something completely different. And they hadn’t even honestly known each other. Max hadn’t known much about her. He hadn’t known what her favorite color was, what her favorite food was. True, they had been friends, but not the greatest of friends. Liz sadly shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, Maria. It really doesn’t.”

“Well, since there’s really nothing that I can do to change your mind about things, why don’t we talk about something else? So, you going to tell me how you and Max ended up sleeping together and getting pregnant? Come on, I so want to know about all of this.” Maria said, wiggling her eyebrows as she changed the subject on her friend. She was so curious about how that had happened. While Liz had always been interested in Max, he’d always rebuffed her, but they had became friends in some weirdish sort of way. Quite honestly, Maria had never really understood their relationship, and she probably never would.

Liz sighed at Maria’s words. She didn’t want to think about that night with Max. It had started okay, but than things had gotten heated and than afterwards, it had gotten bad. She just couldn’t go there, she didn’t want to think about what it had been like to make love to Max. What it had been like for him to be inside of her. “Maria, let’s not talk about this. I mean, you’re my friend and I love you. But I’m so not ready to talk about what happened that night with me and Max.”

“Well, we know what happened between you and Max. I just want to know how it had came together, pardon the pun. Alright, you don’t have to tell me or anything. You know, a year ago, if anyone had told me that you and I were going to be friends, I would have laughed in their faces. You remember the first time that we meant, I hated your guts. Both you and Michael had done enough to my beautiful Etta the Jetta.” Maria said with a sigh, as she changed the subject. She could tell that Liz really didn’t want to talk about what happened with Max, and though that made Maria only more curious, she wasn’t going to push her friend. When Liz was ready, hopefully she’d tell Maria what happened.

Liz couldn’t help but let out a laugh as she stood up from the bed and set Justin down in his custom made wood cradle that she had fallen in love with when she’d first seen it. Liz had been such a bitch the day that she had met Maria. She’d still been angry about Max liking Tess. And she’d taken some of her anger out on Maria.

“He’s got the hots for some other girl. Some blonde chick named Tess? What the hell kind of name is that? Tess? It’s like a poodle’s name!” Liz screeched as she talked to HIM on her cell phone.

“Elizabeth, why are you making this harder than it’s supposed to be? Just mind warp him and everything will be fine. Show him something from Antar. He’ll remember his sweet, loving wife.” HE told her, sounding bored.

“I can’t do that. I would be invading his privacy!” Liz protested, not liking the idea of that. It seemed just so pathetic. She couldn’t do that. No matter what He told her. Liz knew that she couldn’t do that. She wouldn’t do that.

“If you don’t like my ideas, than don’t tell me your damn problems.” HE said, slamming down the telephone.

Liz clenched the steering wheel as she threw the cell phone to the passenger seat. HE was just such a bastard. HE really wanted for Liz to mind warp Max. But Liz couldn’t do that. She hated having to mind warp anyone, but HE had made her do in on a number of occasions. But she couldn’t do that to Max. Max was her husband and she couldn’t very well mind warp him. “Damn it! It’s all that gerbil’s fault! She’s the problem. Tess fucking Parker!! Well, she’s not going to be a problem for long. She’s just a human. A fucking human. And Max is going to see the light soon enough.” Liz said, trying to comfort herself, but it wasn’t helping.

She just couldn’t believe it! Max was supposed to wait for her! But he hadn’t! It seemed that he never had. He hadn’t waited for her to come out of her pod and he hadn’t waited for her to come back into his life. What the hell did he think? That just because he was the King that he could make a freaking human his Queen? No way in hell was she going to allow for that to happen. Liz was the only Queen! It had been her birth right, and there was no way that she was going to let anything change that. Never!

Liz sighed angrily as she ran a hand through her hair. Than suddenly a flash of red was in front of her. Liz realized that it was the brake lights ahead at the same moment that her SUV rammed into the back of the Jetta.

As pain shot through her hand that had forcefully hit the steering wheel, she growled as her anger was mounting. First, with Max and the gerbil girl. And than HIM telling Liz to mind warp Max. And now a freaking car accident. It was exactly what she needed. A freaking accident that would draw attention to her and HIM. Liz ran her uninjured hand over the other, healing what she could. That had never been her strongest power, but it was enough to stop the damn pain.

Taking in a deep breath, Liz unbuckled her seat belt and exited her car, trying to keep a rein on her temper. She saw that the other driver, a girl her age with short blonde hair had gotten out. “Why the hell did you stop?”

“The light turned red.” Maria said as an explanation.

“Yeah, well. This wouldn’t have happened, if you had been paying attention to what was going on. What did it turn red at the last minute?! Look at my fucking car!” Liz said, her anger getting the best of her. She knew that HE would be angry at her for this. HE never wanted for any type of attention to be on them. HE had told her to always be careful when she was driving. HE never wanted her to get in any type of accident.

“Your car? Look at mine? Your freaking SUV did some damage to it! God, I need some cedar oil!” Maria screeched, as she waved her arms in the air.

Liz watched the girl with wide eyes, thinking that she had to be some sort of weird ass freak. What the hell was she talking about cedar oil? Liz watched as the girl took out a small vial and sniffed it. This girl was definitely a freak, Liz decided. And she had to get out of here. HE was going to be angry at her about this accident. “What the hell are you doing? Never mind. It doesn’t look like there was a lot of damage to your. . . car. Why don’t I just give you a check for the damage that way we won’t have to involve our insurances.” she suggested, wanting to get this over with.

“What the hell are you talking about? There’s no way that we can do that. What about the damn insurances? Are you into something illegal? Great, what the hell have I gotten myself into?” Maria said, pacing around.

“Oh shut the fuck up! I don’t see any point in exchanging insurance, it was just a small accident. No point in having our damn insurance going up.” Liz replied, wanting for the blonde to shut up. The girl looked so familiar to her. Than it hit Liz where she had seen her before. This girl had been sitting with Max’s table at lunch. Of course, Liz hadn’t paid attention to this girl. She’d been staring at Max and than sending hateful looks at Tess, the gerbil. “Look, I’m sorry for being a bitch. Really I am. Can we just talk about this like two adults instead of pacing around like a freak?”

“Oh shut the hell up! You know what, just forget it! I’ve got a boyfriend who can fix it!” Maria said, quickly getting back into her car, her anger seething about the bitchy brunette.

Liz sighed as she made her way back to her car. That was just nice. Just nice. She had been a complete bitch to one of Max’s friends. That was wonderful. Just wonderful. But she had given the girl the same treatment that she would have given someone else. It wasn’t her fault that this ditzy freak was a friend of Max’s.

“God, I thought that you were such a bitch, Liz. You know that you were. I went home and called Isabel and told her all about you. She said that she thought you were okay, though.” Maria said with a smile, as she remembered her first encounter with Liz. She hadn’t stopped seeing Liz as a bitchy person until when Nasedo had died. When Nasedo had died, Maria had seen that Liz had been devastated by it all. Even if he hadn’t been the warmest person to Liz, he had been the one that had been there for Liz through everything.

“I thought that you were an airhead. All that stuff about sniffing oils. And I honestly, hadn’t thought what Michael had seen in you. But I eventually saw the same thing that he did.” Liz admitted, not feeling shameful for a moment. There was no sense in denying the truth. That was how she had felt. But she had seen the same Maria that Michael had seen. And Liz adored Maria. And sometimes she’d even wished that she was like Maria, but she would never be.

“Moi an airhead? Never! We both had different pictures of the other. And we didn’t know who the other really was. I’m glad that I know you, Liz Harding. Your one of my best friends, and you know, one day probably my sister in law. I only wish that everyone else could see the great wonderful person that you are.” Maria said with a sigh, as she thought about Max and Isabel. They had always been so. . . scared of what Liz knew of Antar. Maybe they had been scared about the past. But that’s all that it was, the past. They weren’t going to ever go back to Antar.

“Hah! I think that Tess rather enjoys not liking me. Come on, she’s never liked me. Why didn’t she ever like me? Was it because of Max or Kyle? Come on, I know that she stringed Max along for a long time while she was with Kyle. He didn’t deserve any of that. I would never have done that to him.” Liz said, saying the last part softly. She would never have done that to Max. She had never wanted to see him hurt. But in the end, he had hurt her.

“Oh, you know, Tess has never really said if she liked you or not. I mean, I know that when you went to the prom with Kyle, she was really jealous. She was spitting fire. I mean, there she was with Max, and she wanted to be with Kyle. I know that she loves Kyle or loved him. I don’t know what the hell goes on in her head. I mean, I’ve known her since we were seven, but sometimes, she just confuses me. Let’s not talk about the confusing Ms. Parker. There are better things for us to talk about. So how did you end up sleeping with Max?” Maria asked with a twinkle in her eyes, knowing that her friend wasn’t going to answer her question.

“I’m not going to answer that Maria. Look, I’m gonna try to get a nap. Justin likes to wake up at the most ungodly hours. So I’m gonna kick you out. Bye, Maria.” Liz said with a smile, as she urged her friend to leave. Though she didn’t want to talk about what happened with Max, she wasn’t lying. She was sure that Justin would wake up about one in the morning for another feeding.

“Sure, babe. I’ll see you in the morning.” Maria said, giving her friend a mock salute as she left the room. Maria quietly closed the door behind her. She didn’t know what she was going to do. She couldn’t very well tell Michael that his best friend was the father of Liz’s baby. Michael would get very very angry if he found out. Which would happen. But would it be better coming out of her? No, she’d have to let Liz tell him. It was Liz’s secret to tell, not hers.

TBC. . . . . . . . I hope that everyone wasn't disappointed.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 29-Sep-2002 1:40:48 PM ]
posted on 13-Oct-2002 11:29:04 PM by Lillie

posted on 14-Oct-2002 12:04:12 AM by Lillie
Dedicated to: PSW2001,
mandyhanford (FIVE TIMES) *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* ,
frenchkiss70 (SEVEN TIMES) *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* ,
Anya (THIRTY THREE TIMES) , pangel5 pbath pangel7
A Rose Is True Blue,
Shama (FIVE TIMES) *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* ,
bliss (TWICE) *happy* ,
LittleBit (THREE TIMES) *happy* *happy* ,
chinablueeyes (THREE TIMES) *happy* *happy* ,
Angel eyes (TWICE) *happy* ,
mpls muse,
Strawbehrry Shortcake (TWICE) *happy* ,
PixieChic (TWICE) *happy* ,

Just a note to readers: Even though it might appear that Max doesn’t have much feelings for Liz, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t. Please don’t confuse the TV Max with the story Max, they are way different. Max is one confused person. Being confused can make people do things that hurt others. Sad, but true. Another thing, Max is confused and messed up about the fact about Zan (Like TV Isabel was weirded out about Vilandra.) And I have some ideas on how Max will make it up to Liz, but you guys are starting to make me worry about if it would be enough. If anyone’s got any ideas, feel free to tell me. Suggestions are always welcomed.


Chapter 5

“Michael, we have to talk.” Maria said quietly, as she entered the living room, where her boyfriend was currently pacing around the room. She knew that Michael was probably hoping that she had got Liz to name the father, or agree to come back to Roswell, but Maria knew that she would only disappoint him because she hadn’t. But she wanted to talk to him about something that had been bugging her.

“Did Liz tell you who the father is? Whose ass that I have to kick? Is she coming back to Roswell? She needs to see that she has to come home. That it’s the only right thing to do!” Michael stated, not allowing for Maria to get a word out. He knew that he had been right in sending Maria to go talk to Liz, she was so much better at talking about things that he was. He never had been good at discussing things.

“She doesn’t want to go back to Roswell, Michael. She doesn’t want to. She honestly doesn’t think that you’ll miss her. You know that you are her brother and you’ve never even bothered to have a relationship with her. Do you know what that has done to Liz?” Maria asked him quietly, unable to help the tears that came to her eyes.

Michael clenched his jaw at her words. He knew that he made some mistakes where Liz was concerned. A lot of mistakes. He knew that there were a hundred things that he could have done over the year that Liz had been in Roswell and he hadn’t. He hadn’t spent any time with Liz, his own sister. “I know that I haven’t done the things that I should have. But I. . . don’t know where to start or what I’m supposed to do.”

Maria forced herself not to move even though she wanted to take her boyfriend in her arms. She knew that she had to talk to him about his behavior. This was a subject that she had put off long enough, but she wasn’t going to anymore. “Well, Liz needs you in her life as her brother. Not as the head of security or whatever the hell you were back on Antar. She needs her brother in her life and it’s better late than never, right?”

Michael nodded his head. He knew that she was right. He wanted to be able to be the brother to his sister. But a part of him had always held back from her. Maybe because of his life with Hank; maybe that was why he had always thought that it was easier keeping Liz at a distance. Hell, he’d done the same thing to Max and Isabel for a few years when he was younger. It had been easier that way. He’d even done it to Maria before he realized that he couldn’t keep on doing that forever. Maria hadn’t let him shut her out.

“I want to be able to be her brother. But I guess also that there’s a part of me that’s afraid that she’ll realize that I’m not the person that she imagined I was. That I’m not the great brother that she always wanted. That I’m not Rath, and that I’m nothing like the memory of him either. I don’t want to disappoint her, and I’m sure that I will if she ever got to know me.” Michael told her quietly. He wanted to be everything for Liz, but he was afraid that he never would be.

“You know what, Michael? You will never know about how Liz really feels for you since you’ve never really spent time with her. You don’t know how she views you. Or if she’ll be disappointed, which I doubt. How could she be disappointed?” Maria said quietly, hoping that Michael would realize that she was right. She loved him and she wanted to wrap her arms around him, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t help but think of Liz, and that’s what made Maria continue with this talk with him. It was about time that it was all dealt with.

“I know, Maria. But I can’t help it. I’m afraid that she’ll realize that I’m nothing but a failure; that I’m no good as her brother. That she’d be better off without me in her life. Hank told me that all of the time; that I was a failure and I was with him because no one else wanted me.” Michael said, clenching his fists at the memory of Hank. That man would never be out of his life. Hank was forever etched into his mind. Hank had always told him that he was nothing but a failure. And it scared him that his own sister might think of him that way.

“You’re not a failure, Michael. I don’t care what that son of a bitch said to you. You’re not. He was wrong. Liz won’t think that you’re a failure. I know that she wants you in her life. She wants her brother. She needs her brother. She needs you. I want to know about what happened last Christmas. Did you get Liz a present or not?” Maria asked him. She loved him, but she was in no way, blind to his faults. Maria knew that he wasn’t the most attentive or eloquent person. But just the idea of Michael not getting his own sister anything just seemed so sad and wrong.

Michael swallowed hard at his girlfriend’s words. He knew that he’d fucked up where Liz was concerned. He actually made something for his sister, but in the end he had thought that it was crap. That it wasn’t good enough for his sister. Thinking about it all, made Michael shameful. He probably should have given it to her, or at least gotten her something else. Like a gift certificate or anything. Just to show her that he cared.

“Tell me what happened, Michael. Tell me why you didn’t get Liz anything for Christmas?” Maria questioned softly, interested in the whole thing. She had seen something on his face that made her wonder if he really had gotten her something or not. Michael had given her one of the best presents that she had ever received.

Michael sighed heavily as he sat down on the couch. He knew that his behavior hadn’t been the greatest, that he had let his insecurities get in the way of a lot. They had in his relationship with Maria, Max, and Isabel. And now they were affecting his relationship with Liz.

“You don’t think that a bumper is a good present?” Michael asked Isabel, who was looking at him like he was some deranged freak. Why the hell wouldn’t Maria like a bumper? After all the damage that he had done to her car, it seemed like a good idea to him.

Isabel narrowed her eyes at him in disbelief. He really thought that a bumper was a good present? “Oh, Michael. So much that you have to learn. I mean, really? A bumper? Doesn’t Maria deserve better than that?”

Michael sighed harshly, leaning his forehead against the bumper. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked for her help. She was such a Christmas Nazi; everything had to be her way. But what if she was right? He had called her over because he had wanted her opinion in Maria’s present. She was the person that knew Maria best. He wouldn’t call Tess, who he could barely stomach on some days or Liz, she and Maria weren’t all that close. Maybe a bumper wasn’t a good present for Maria. Isabel was right, she did deserve better than that. “What should I get her?” Michael grumbled.

“I don’t know. I’m not quite sure. But hell no, am I going to allow for one of my best friend’s to get a bumper for Christmas. Maria deserves so much more than that!” Isabel informed him, crossing her arms over her chest. Maybe a pair of earrings? Maybe a necklace? Something nicer than a bumper!!

“Alright, so the bumper’s out. Look since you’re the expert and all, why don’t you go out and buy something for Maria. Here’s a hundred dollars of my hard earned money that’s going to be blown off in an hour.” Michael told her as he laid the bumper against the wall, and pulled out his wallet. Handing her several bills, he wondered what she would think about the present he wanted to give Liz.

“I’ll see what I can get for her. But there’s only three more days until Christmas, Michael.” Isabel said, restraining herself from rolling her eyes. She wasn’t sure about what she would buy on this amount of money, but she’d find something good for her friend.

“Hey, can I ask you another question? What do you think about this? Would it make a good present?” Michael asked as he made his way to the hiding place in the book case. He drew out the frame that he made and showed it to her.

Isabel curled her lip at the picture frame Michael was showing her. It wasn’t like it was ugly or anything. But it was a damn picture frame! That was definitely not a present that you give out to anyone. Not even to your worst enemy. “It’s nice and all.”

“So it sucks, doesn’t it? Look, Isabel. Don’t lie to me or anything. It’s crap isn’t it? Look it doesn’t matter, it was only an idea.” Michael told her, pretending like he didn’t care. He knew that it was crap. Liz wouldn’t want it. Michael had the crazy idea of making a picture frame for her, with little symbols of stars, sun and the moon on it. But it was just crap.

“I don’t think that it’s the best present that one would get. I mean, a picture frame? What’s that about?!” Isabel told him, feeling that there was something that he wasn’t saying. But she didn’t feel the need to lie to him. There was no point in lying to Michael.

“Nothing. Thanks Isabel. I’m sure that you’re a busy person. Thanks for the help.” Michael told her sincerely. He was grateful for her help, but now he wanted her to go away.

“Yeah. I’ve got to get back to the Santa thing. You know, I wrangled my brother, your girlfriend and Liz to be elves. I know Liz only said yes so she could spend some time with Max. You interested in helping? I could make you a reindeer.” Isabel said, changing the subject.

“Hell no. I will not be a reindeer or anything Christmasy. See you later, Isabel.” Michael said, yanking open the door for her. He hadn’t missed that dig about Liz. Isabel wasn’t the warmest person to Liz.

“Sure. I’ll try to be back later on tonight with the present. Bye.” Isabel said with a wave before taking off.

Michael slammed the door behind Isabel and stalked back to where he’d left the picture frame. Isabel was right, it wasn’t a great idea. What the hell had he been thinking? A picture frame for his sister? A fucking picture frame? What the hell was he trying to say with that picture frame? Sorry that I never knew you for eleven years, hopes this makes up for all of that?

Damn it! Liz deserved more than a picture frame from him. He was nothing but a failure. He’d been failing his sister for such a long time. He hadn’t been there when she had left her pod, he had left his sister all alone. And he had run off into the desert and had left his sister behind. Liz deserved more than the half assed brother that he would be for her. Hell, Liz deserved more than Max, who wasn’t even interested in her.

“You’re nothing but a failure, Michael.” He told himself angrily, as he grabbed the picture frame and threw it against the room. The shattering of the glass made him feel better. But only for a moment. Liz deserved a lot more than a pathetic picture frame.

“That was your whole reason, Michael? Because Isabel didn’t think that it was a good present? I’m sorry but what the hell does she know? I’ve known Isabel since I was nine years old and she has different ideas about what to expect from someone. I think that Liz would have loved your present. I know she would have. She’d love to have anything from her brother.” Maria told him, after he had told her about Isabel’s remarks about the present he had made for Liz. Maria knew that she couldn’t blame Isabel for what she said. Michael had let his insecurities take over for him. She understood that.

“Yeah. I think that she would have. You don’t know how many times I wished that I could take that back. I wish that I made a different choice. That I had given it to Liz. She deserved--- still does--- she deserves so much more than I’ve ever given her. I don’t know how I’m going to be a brother to her. Or an uncle to her kid.” Michael confessed, as he looked down at his hand. He knew that he was a failure. That’s all that he had ever been.

“Well, you’ll learn how to be a brother and a uncle. Because you know what, you are right. Liz does deserve to have that. So do you. The two of you weren’t raised together. That’s a sad fact but there’s nothing that you can do that can change that. Just stop being so damn insecure about things and be there for her.” Maria told him. She could tell that her words were having an impact on him. She was glad about that.

“I’m trying, Maria. But I’ve failed Liz in so many ways. I know I have. I mean, my sister was kidnaped and beaten and that shouldn’t have happened to her. I should have been there to protect her. I should have protected her from that jerk who impregnated her. I should have done so much for her and I didn’t.” Michael said angrily at himself. But maybe this was going to be a new beginning for him and his sister. Even with this brother stuff being so new to him, he owed it to her to give it a try. He owed it to Liz and his nephew. And he wanted to.

“Michael, you can’t blame yourself for things that Liz went through. It wasn’t your fault that she was kidnaped by the Skins. Liz was just a means to an end. But she kicked ass, right? I remember thinking that she was like Xena Warrior Princess.” Maria said, cocking a smile at the thought. Liz was right. She could take care of herself. Liz was the reason that Nicholas was dead in the first place.

“I’m pathetic, aren’t I, Maria?” Michael said with a smile to his girlfriend. Maria had always been the one who understood him. How he felt, what he thought. She understood everything about him.

“No, your not, Michael. Your not pathetic at all. Liz wants you in her life. She needs you, Justin needs you. Just try to be there for her. She won’t tell you that she needs you, but I know that she does. I can see that she does. She’s not as strong as she likes to pretend. Okay, I’m all done. No more talk from me.” Maria said, feeling that there wasn’t any place else to go with all of this. She had said her piece, and from the looks of it, Michael was coming to his own realizations about things. It was exactly what she had wanted to accomplish. Well, now she would have to work on Max. But that was going to be harder.

“Thank you, Maria.” Michael said quietly.

“For what?” Maria wondered.

“For being such a good friend to Liz. I love you, Maria.” Michael told her softly. Maria was such a godsend to him. She deserved so much for having to put up with him.

“I love you, too, Michael. Come on, let’s go to sleep. You can start making things better between you and Liz tomorrow.” Maria said, as she grabbed his hand, leading him to the spare bedroom Liz had told her about. She knew that this was going to be a new beginning for Liz and Michael’s relationship, she only hoped that it would be the same for Liz and Max.


“I don’t know what to do, Justin. I really don’t. I mean, all I want to do is what is best for you. To give you everything that you deserve. Everything that I never had. I never had a mommy growing up, and I always wanted one. I was always so jealous of everyone who had one. And Nasedo--- he wasn’t the warmest father figure, Justin. You know, I actually do think that he didn’t like me very much. I hope that I’ll do a good job raising you, baby. I mean, I know that you are my only child here on Earth, but I was once a Mother back on Antar. Of course, lots of things are different from Antar. But that’s just something I’m trying to deal with because I can’t change anything that has happened.” Liz said softly, as she rocked Justin after his 3 a.m. feeding. It actually appeared that he was going to go back to sleep. Some nights he stayed up until the next morning. That had been her first rude awakening to parenthood. But she would never change a single thing about having Justin.

“Oh, do you want to know more about Antar, sweetie? You want to know about the other children? Well, there was Adair; he was such a beautiful little boy. Just like you, Justin. He looked exactly like his Daddy, but I have to say that you look more like me than Max. And than there was Zara. I have to say that both Adair and Zara were spoiled. Just like I’m going to spoil you. You’re my little boy, Justin.” Liz said quietly, placing a kiss on his forehead. He was so beautiful. And he was hers. Her little boy. She could never get past that. If she never went back to Roswell, it would be fine for her, because she would have Justin.

TBC. . . . . . . . . . .

posted on 4-Nov-2002 9:12:02 PM by Lillie
NOTE: I'll try to update as soon as I can, but I'm up to my eyebrows with homework. I have a paper that's due on Friday, which I'm barely starting. I think that I'll probably get around updating maybe Wedensday, or Thursday.


posted on 6-Nov-2002 9:36:31 PM by Lillie

posted on 6-Nov-2002 11:01:48 PM by Lillie
Dedicated to: Deejonaise (TWICE) *happy* , Shama, Eccentric One, roswellluver, woodwinds, JaneLane, BelevnDreamsToo, PSW2001, frenchkiss70 (ELEVEN TIMES) *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* , bliss (TWICE) *happy* , katmcken, Anya (TWENTY EIGHT TIMES) *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* , SciFiNut111, LizParkerEvans4evax, Alien614, Angel eyes (TWICE) *happy* , PuReAn9el58 (THREE TIMES) *happy* *happy* , marteloise, chinablueeyes (TWICE) *happy* , DreamingAngel, woodwinds, Strawbehrry Shortcake (FIVE TIMES) *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* , PixieChic (FOUR TIMES) *happy* *happy* *happy* , LittleBit (THREE TIMES) *happy* *happy* , mpls muse, brianna (SIX TIMES) *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* *happy* , mandyhanford, Blink1lit, Calinia.

Chapter 6

“Max was that Michael on the phone?” Isabel asked, bursting into her brother’s bedroom without knocking. She’d heard the phone ring and had come running. Isabel hoped that it was some good news about Liz. Isabel wanted to make it up to Liz. She had never been the best person to Liz.

“Mmm hmm. Yeah, actually it was.” Max said quietly, staring down at the phone. He had a child. A son with Liz. He was still slightly shocked over the news. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever imagined that he would have a child with Liz. Not that it was a horrible thing, but they were both so young, and there was just so much that he wasn’t sure about their relationship, and now there was a baby thrown into the mix.

“Are you okay, Max?” Isabel asked curiously, studying her brother, who just continued staring down at the telephone. What did he expect? For the phone to stand up and start dancing? What was it that Max had found out from Michael? Had something bad happened to Liz? Oh, Jeez. She hoped that nothing bad had happened, she had never wanted for anything bad to happen to Liz. Liz was one of them.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Uh, Michael found her in Oregon. Klamath Falls. Um, I’m not too sure how long she’s been in Oregon though. Michael didn’t tell me that. Guess he didn’t have the chance to ask Liz or anything.” Max told her, finally taking his eyes off of the phone. He knew that he had to go talk to his father; his father was a lawyer and knew exactly what he should do. What the right thing to do would be. Max knew that he had to do what was right for Liz and Justin, his son. He had done wrong by Liz, and he needed to make it up to her for everything that he’d done. And he needed to make sure that Justin wouldn’t be put in the middle of his relationship with Liz.

“Well, we all know that Michael isn’t the most eloquent speaker. So I’m sure that he pissed Liz off. Hell, he pisses me off half of the time. Is Liz coming back to Roswell? I— I know that I was a bitch to Liz on several occasions. Okay, that’s a lie. A lot of occasions. But I know now that I was wrong, Max. I want to make it up to her. I mean, she and I are the same. I mean, not exactly, but you know what I mean. You and Michael have always had a special relationship because he’s the only one like you; the same as you. Liz is the only person that’s like me, and I don’t know that much about her and I should have. We’re the same kind. You know, I think that’s what scared me so much when I first met her. That there was someone just like me.” Isabel confessed, feeling as if a great load had been taken off of her shoulders. She had freaked out when she found out that Liz was an alien.

Max bit down on his lip. He understood exactly what Isabel was talking about. He’d felt so confused when Liz had popped into town. That she’d known so mich of their other lives; of how the two of them had been connected to each other. It hadn’t been easy finding out that his past self had been married. “I understand what you mean, Isabel. I. . . sort of felt the same. Liz coming to town threw me into confusion. The feelings that I had for her, our past selves being married. I guess that made me act like such a jerk sometimes and I really shouldn’t have.”

“We shouldn’t have made her feel like she wasn’t wanted. I know that I should have made an effort to know her, be friends with her. But I was so angry with her when I found out who she was. I felt like she used me in order to get close to you, the King. And I wanted her to be my friend, not just use me in order to get to you.” Isabel went on. She’d thought about all of this ever since that night Liz had disappeared. Things Kyle said had made so much sense to her. In a way, Isabel knew that she was responsible for Liz leaving town the way that she had.

“You know, I always thought that Liz wanted for me to be like him. Like Zan and that’s not who I am. I think that’s what frightened me the most; made me not ready to get to know her. I didn’t want to be Zan, I didn’t want to be anything like him. All I wanted was to be me, but every time she looked at me, I wondered if she was trying to look for him.” Max said quietly. Once he’d found out about Zan, he didn’t want to be anything like the guy. He wasn’t. Zan and he would never be the same. When they had been brought down to Earth, it had been a new beginning for all of them, a new beginning at life. But it had come with the stigmata of Antar.

“What about Tess? I mean, did you think that Liz coming to town ruined your chances with Tess? Was that another reason why you never really got to know her?” Isabel asked curiously. She had always been curious about why Max had been interested in Tess. Isabel had thought that it might have been because Tess seemed like the normal, All American girl. Smart, pretty, cheerleader, dating a football player, the epitome of normal. At least those had been Isabel’s reasons that she’d become friends with Tess in the first place. When Isabel was little, she had hoped that some of Tess’s normalness would rub off on her.

“I’m not sure what I thought about Liz and Tess. I mean, I never thought that Tess would even go out with me. Ever since I was little, I thought that Tess was everything. I mean, the girl that I wanted, and when Liz came, it just changed things for me. She and Tess were— are different from each other in so many different ways. It was weird, that the feelings that I had for Liz just came out of nowhere. It freaked me out, especially when I found out about Zan and Anais. But it’s taken me awhile, but now I understand my feelings for Tess, what they were, what they meant. And. . . yeah, I can see that I’m getting a little confusing.” Max said, when he caught wind of the stare that Isabel was giving him. It had taken him awhile, but he finally figured it all out, what he wanted, what he needed, what he had to do. He’d made hundreds of mistakes, but he would make it up to Liz and Justin. He knew that he would.

“Yeah, you got a little too personal there, Max. Was there another reason why Liz left town? I know that we didn’t treat her the best way, that we screwed up with her, but from the sound of your voice, was there another reason? Did you have something to do with why she left?” Isabel asked, knowing that there was something in the tone of her brother’s voice that was telling her that she was right. She hadn’t given it much thought before, but now the wheels in her head were turning.

“Let’s just say that I didn’t make things easier for her. I was always afraid that she thought of me as Zan. Or she hoped that I had Zan inside of me, and she was hoping for him to come out. It scared me, Isabel. And that’s why I didn’t get closer to her, but it wasn’t until when Nicholas took her in January that I started getting friendly with Liz. She could have died, and I hated that she could have died and I didn’t know much about her. So that’s when I started trying to make things better. But when Tess wanted to get with me, I. . . it must have hurt Liz. I mean, I know that it must have hurt Liz.” Max admitted. He hated that it had taken Liz nearly dying to make him move forward in trying to right the wrongs that he had made. But in the end, he’d only made more wrongs.

“We fucked up, plain and simple. I imagine what it would have been like if I’d been in Liz’s shoes, and I don’t like it. I would have felt so alone; that I didn’t have any one. We were horrible to her.” Isabel said, nodding her head. She never wanted to be in Liz’s shoes, to have to go through some much. But it could have been her, so easily, it could have been her instead of Liz.

“Yeah. It seems like so long ago when she first came to town. I can still remember the first time that I saw her. It was in class.” Max whispered, remembering back to that day so long ago. A day in early spring where Liz Harding had come into his life.

“Class, this is Elizabeth Harding, she’s new to West Roswell, so let’s make her feel at home. Elizabeth, your going to need to catch up on what we’ve been doing. Max Evans, why don’t you help her out for awhile. I’m sure that Tess will be able to take care of herself. Raise your hand, Max, so Elizabeth can sit next to you.” Mrs. Lewis stated, urging Liz to sit near the back of the classroom.

Max looked over at Tess, who looked momentarily shocked, grabbing her stuff and moving to the lab table behind him. He couldn’t help but look at the new girl. There was something about her. She looked vaguely familiar but he was certain that he had never meet her before. He would have remembered meeting someone as beautiful as her.

“Sorry about taking your partner from you. I’m sure I’ll get caught up pretty quickly.” Elizabeth said softly, dropping her bag onto the floor, giving him a little smile.

Max looked into her dark chocolate eyes. He had never seen eyes that color before. They were like a rich dark chocolate. Max let his eyes drift down to her legs when Liz sat down next to him, her magenta skirt raising up on her brown legs. Max couldn’t help but wonder if she was that way all over. Shut up, he told himself. He was acting like a pervert, thinking about the new girl this way. He didn’t know her, and he was looking at her legs. She was completely different from Tess. She was brown where Tess was probably white. She was dark haired where as Tess was blonde. Her eyes were a dark mysterious color where Tess’ were a slate blue. Tess was exactly what he wanted, so why was he looking at the new girl? Why did a part of him feel like he knew her? It wasn’t like he knew her or anything, he’d never seen her before. “It’s okay.”

“Call me Liz. I hate being called Elizabeth. So. . . what are we doing?” Liz asked with a smile.

Stop it, Evans! Stop it, Evans. Just stop it! Tess Parker is your dream girl; she’s everything you’ve always wanted, stop looking at the new girl. . . . Liz. “We’re starting organic chemistry.” he told her, not wanting to risk another look at her. She was pretty, and he felt something weird for her. Something that he didn’t understand, it was like an instant attraction. But she wasn’t what he wanted. Ever since he was little, he had known that Tess was normalcy. She was. . . . Liz was singing. She was singing softly to herself. And it sounded like a Patsy Cline song.

“You want me to act like we’ve never kissed, want me to forget, pretend we’ve never met. And I’ve tried, and I’ve tried, but I haven’t yet. You walk by and I fall to pieces.” Liz sang softly, and she must have felt his eyes on her, because she turned to look at him with a small smile on her face. “Sorry, when I get nervous I tend to sing to myself.”

“Patsy Cline?” Max asked, cocking an eyebrow at her. Not that he considered that a bad thing or anything, but he’d never really known anyone as young as her that was interested in that sort of stuff. Patsy Cline was someone that his mother liked to listen to.

“One of the greatest artists of our time. The good always die young, don’t they?” Liz told him, with a sad smile on her face.

Max frowned at her words, and opened his mouth to say something, when Ms. Lewis’s words made him turn away. It was true, the good always died young. It was just the way that the world went. Of course it wasn’t fair, but than again a lot of things weren’t fair.

“Max. . . are you there?” Isabel asked, snapping her fingers in front of her brother’s face. What was up with him? Why was he acting like this? What had Michael said on the phone? Was there something wrong with Liz?

“Yeah, I. . . got to go talk to Dad about something. He’s in his study, right?” Max asked, jumping off of his bed. He knew that he had to get his ass in motion and do something. Talk to his father about Liz and Justin. It was amazing. He had a child. A son. He and Liz had a child. There was so much that he was going to have to do for them. He would have to try to repair his relationship with Liz, and forge one with his son. Their son.

“Yeah, Dad came home about an hour ago, and retreated into the study. Something about a major case that he’s working on. Evidently, he’s forgotten that Christmas is in a few days. You don’t know how glad I am that Liz is okay. I had so many scenarios in my head that I didn’t like, but I feel so much better knowing that she’s okay.” Isabel told him, following his lead and standing up.

“So am I.”Max said quietly, as he and Isabel began walking towards their father’s study. He knew that his father was bound to be disappointed in him. But it wasn’t anything that he could change, he had a child. For the rest of his life he was going to be Justin’s father. He was partially responsible for Justin being born. God, he couldn’t wait until he saw his son.

“I’m going to go see if Mom’s burning dinner.” Isabel said, heading for the kitchen, wondering what her brother wanted to talk to their father about. She guessed that it was about Liz, but what exactly did he need to tell Phillip?

Max knocked on his father’s door, waiting for his father to give him the okay to go in. Once his father told him to come in, Max bit down on his lip, preparing himself to tell his father. Geez, he didn’t even know what his son’s middle name was, or if Liz had even given Justin his last name. But when she came back, he would find out. He would out everything he could about Justin, and he would try to make up for everything that he had done to Liz. “Dad, I need to talk to you.”

“Sure, what’s wrong, Max?” Phillip said, nodding his head urging for his son to take a seat. Sometimes it appeared as though his son had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and it was obvious that today was one of those days.

Max closed the door behind him and sat down in one of the chairs in front of his father’s desk. “Um. . . . well, there’s something that’s happen. Michael called earlier, they found Liz. But she— wasn’t alone, Dad.”

Phillip watched his son’s expression carefully, not that Max seemed nervous and agitated. He’d always wondered about the depth of his son’s feelings for Liz Harding, but his son had never really confided in him about it all, and now it seemed like it was too ate for Max and Liz. “Oh, she ran off with somebody?”

Max’s lips twitched into a smile at his father’s words. “Yeah, in a way she did. What I mean, Dad is that— Liz had a baby. Se went off and had a baby.”

Phillip swallowed hard, his mind jumping to the possibility that Max was the father of Liz Harding’s baby. Why else would his son tell him? “And the father? Did she say anything about the father?”

“No, Liz didn’t say anything about the father. Michael assumed that it was Kyle, but she said no. But I know the truth, Dad. I’m the father. I’m 100% certain that I’m the father. I need to know what to do. I don’t have the slightest clue what I should do.” Max confessed, needing to know what the right thing to do was, needing to know how to get Liz back to Roswell. What he could do to make things up to Liz, what the right thing to do with Justin.

“Oh, Max. I— whoa. I really wasn’t expecting that. Are you really sure that it’s your baby? I mean, what the hell were you thinking? Having unprotected sex? I thought that I taught you better than that.” Phillip said, rubbing his temples. Well, nothing could be done about that now. Max and Liz had a child. Which meant that he had a grandchild, and he didn’t even know if it was a boy or a girl.

“I know, Dad. I don’t know what else to say, but I have a son. His name is Justin, and he’s with Liz in Oregon, and from what Michael said, I don’t think that Liz has any intention of coming back to town. I pretty much screwed things up, but I want to make it up to her and Justin. I wasn’t there when she was pregnant, and I missed his birth. I wasn’t there to see him be born. I don’t know what to do, Dad. I don’t know how I’m supposed to get her to come back to Roswell.” Max cried out, wanting to know what the right thing to do was. He was so lost and confused. All he wanted to do was make it up to Liz and Justin. He had screwed up with Liz, which was the reason why she had left in the first place.

“How do you feel about her, Max? I think that’s the most important question. I mean, do you think that she’ll want to keep you away from Justin? If you think that she’s going to keep you away from Justin, than you might have some problems. I mean, well, that actually might work to our advantage. If she’s not willing to come back to Roswell, I hate to say this but you can tell her that you’ll take her to court in order to see Justin. I mean, I know with your alien DNA and Liz’s that Justin must also have it. But it might get her to come back.” Phillip said thoughtfully. He could tell by Max’s expression that he didn’t want to do that, but it seemed like a good way to get Liz to come back to Roswell.

“Dad, I don’t know. . . . I mean, I don’t know if I can tell Liz that. That I’ll take her to court so she’ll come back. I mean, I don’t know. Hell, I don’t even know how I feel about her. I’m confused about how I feel about Liz. I don’t know if I’m in love with her or anything, I know that I do have feelings for her. Strong feelings, feelings so strong that they scared me, Dad. I tried to tell myself that they had to be my feelings that I had for her back on Antar, but now I’m really not sure. I want to make things up to her, I should have been. . . I don’t know, nicer to her. More friendly with her before she left. I want to be there for Justin. I don’t want to miss anymore of his life. I’ve missed the last few months.” Max tried to explain his confusing feelings. He was understanding himself more and more during these last few months while Liz had been gone. Every day he would realize something new about himself, about his feelings for Liz, but still everything didn’t make sense. He was still confused about some things.

“We’ll figure something out, Max. I promise. We’ll get Liz to come back to Roswell.”

TBC. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

posted on 11-Nov-2002 8:01:14 PM by Lillie
Thanks for all the bumps everyone, I really do appreciate it. But I have to tell you guys that this story isn't at the top of my stories list, in fact it's at the very bottom. I'm too busy with school crap, that I'm going to have to limit myself working on stories. Fight Or Fall is going to be one of the stories I'm going to work on exclusively. This trilogy has been going on for over a year, and I want to hurry up on get to the third story. So I'm going to devote my time to this story. It's a bit dark and angsty, and deals with very serious subjects. I'd really like it if you guys could check it out. If you don't, :shrugs:, oh well. Thanks again for the bumps and everything, it means a lot to me.