posted on 4-Nov-2001 12:57:21 PM by applebehr
Hi... this is my first M/L fanfic... although I've written other fanfics before for different shows. I love Roswell... fell in love with Jason the moment I saw him! I can't really say if I like this season so far or not... I mean, Max and Liz are together and that's a plus, but the circumstances that brought them to this point aren't so appealing. I'm still hoping for some miracle and Max is redeemed in my eyes for sleeping with... well you know. Ok, this is going to be a short fic... only because I don't know if I have the time to actually write a long one... but depending on how I end this... I might leave it open for a sequel.

Title : Standing Still
Rating : PG-13 to (not sure yet)
Category : Max and Liz, of course!
Disclaimer : Not my characters, don't own them so don't sue me!
Summary : Takes place after Max comes back from Hollywood... so after this week's ep... some spoilers, so be warned. Sadly, everything that happened in season two, did happen in this fic. Also this is really how I would have things happen if I were writing Max and Liz, given what we have to deal with on the show.

Enjoy!

Standing Still

Cuttin' through the darkest night
In my two headlights
Trying to keep it clear,
But I'm losing it here to the twilight
There's a dead end to my left,
There's a burning bush to my right
You aren't in sight, you aren't in sight

Liz Parker made her way down the hall to her locker... could this day get any longer. She passes by the eraser room and suddenly, abruptly she's pulled in by a strong hand. She spins around and her brown eyes meet with deep amber ones. She watches as his eyes drop down and suggestively pass over her, smiling approvingly. She was wearing faded blue denim jeans, cut low on her hips and a plain black, fitted tank top, cut just about her navel, showing off her toned stomach. She watches as he absently licks his full, soft lips and then drags his eyes back up to hers. Her eyes fall away and take in his black t-shirt, which was left untucked and his black pants that hung just right on his lean hips. They had yet to say something to each other, but Liz was still shocked, stunned to see Max. He was supposed to be in Hollywood, wasn't supposed to be back for another week, but here he was. Her mouth a gap as she stares at him, clutching her books to her chest and he smirks. He leans towards her and her eyes move to his lips and she nearly stops breathing. His lips near hers and her eyes begin to close, until she hears the door lock behind her and she turns her head just in time to see Max's hand stop glowing. She turns her head back, their lips nearly touching... he was so close... so unbelievably close.

"Don't want a teacher walking in like last time." He whispers and she looks up into his eyes. "Max, what are you doing here?" She asks, softly and he smiles. "What? You didn't miss me?" He asks, seductively and rolls her eyes. "You know I did... did you miss me?" She counters and his smile grows. "You'll never know how much." He answers in a soft, heady voice. "Oh yeah... how much?" She asks, flirtatiously and his eyes drop to her mouth. "So much." He whispers and then cups her face in his hands, pulling her mouth to his. His lips move over hers, caressing and teasing, over and over again until she gives in and opens her mouth for him. His tongue sweeps past her lips into her mouth, seductively seeking out hers. She throws her arms around his neck, grabbing onto his shirt as he moves one hand into her hair and the other around her waist, pulling her up against him. He pulls his mouth away from hers, breathing hard and his heart pounding fiercely against his chest and again he moves to kiss her. "I love you." He murmurs as he takes her mouth in his again, this time deepening the kiss immediately, plunging, probing his tongue in and out of her sweet mouth, attempting to get deeper. She tears her mouth away from his and he looks at her as she tries to catch her breath and he grins. "God... I can't get enough of you." He whispers, hoarsely and she smiles, still breathing and feeling slightly light headed. She leans her forehead against his and he clenches his fist in her hair, holding her to him, then he looks back up into her eyes. "But to answer your first question, why I'm back... I found the ship." He says and she looks at him, silently. She pulls away a little. "You did?" She asks and he nods. She steps out of his arms, her face serious. "Does it work?" She asks and he nods again and she smiles, genuinely. "That means you can go find your son... you can save your son, Max." Liz says and he looks closely at her. "I know." He says and she doesn't understand why he seemed so less then excited. "This is what you've been waiting for." Liz says and he smiles, sadly. "I know... but I had to see you, first." He says and she looks into his eyes and then down. "Why?" She asks and his brow furrows in confusion. "What do you mean, why?" He asks and she looks up. "Why did you have to see me?" She asks and he looks at her closely. "Because I love you... because I wanted to see you one last time before I left... because I thought you'd want to see me too..." He says and she looks away. "...to say goodbye?" She asks and he looks down, nodding. "Yeah." He says, quietly. There is a silence and finally Max looks up at Liz. "Do you want me to stay?" He asks and she shifts her eyes back to him, quickly. "No." She says, a little too quick. "No?" He asks and she shakes her head. "No. No, Max... I don't want you to stay." She says and she sees a flicker of pain in his eyes. "I want you to get on that ship and go save your son... because it's what you need to do." She says and he looks at her, intensely. "What if I wanted to stay? What if the real reason I didn't get on that ship was because I wanted you to ask me to stay?" He asks and she shakes her head. "No... I won't do it. I won't ask you to stay. I can't ask you to stay, Max." She says and he steps away from her, turning his back.

Do you want me, like I want you?
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?
Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
Was that you passing me by?

TBC...

So... I will post more if you guys want... let me know what you think if you're interested or not.

applebehr

Am I a good girl with a naughty side, or am I a naughty girl with the face of an angel?

*angel*
posted on 4-Nov-2001 9:17:06 PM by applebehr
Ok... you guys asked so you shall recieve... hope you enjoy! There'll probably be one more part after this and it will probably be NC-17. So if you perfer it not to be let me know and I'll make it PG-13.


Part two

Liz stares at his back, not saying a word and that's how they remain for a long time until Max finally turns around, his eyes filled with unshed tears. "I thought I was going to make your dreams come true, Liz... how can I do that on another planet?" He asks and she looks at him. "You can't." She says and he nods. "You're giving up." He says and she smiles. "No... I'm not giving up, Max... I'm letting go." She says and he moves closer. "What's the difference?" He asks and she looks up at him. "Giving up is... admitting defeat, feeling like you don't have a choice. Letting go is wanting more for yourself... for the person you love. I'm doing what's best." She says and he shakes his head. "This is not for the best, Liz. How could it be for the best when we fought so hard to get to this place?" He asks and she smiles up at him. "Because you have somebody else who needs you more than I do." She says and he closes his eyes. "I'm not talking about my son! I'm talking about us... you and me!" He says, getting frustrated. Liz sighs and looks at him. "It will never be just you and me, Max!" Liz says, sharply and he freezes. She takes a deep breath and brushes past him. "You should've just gotten on that ship, Max." She says, harshly and he spins around. "Why are you pushing me to get on the ship so much?!" He shouts and she turns around, angry. "Because! Because if you don't get on that ship then you're gonna regret it... and you're gonna resent me for it! And it might be selfish but I don't want you resenting me for the rest of your life!" She says and he just stares at her. "Resentment is something you don't want to live with, Max. It tears you up inside until there isn't anything left in you." She says with tears in her eyes and he knows. "You resent me." He says and she stares at him. "You resent me for sleeping with Tess... for giving up on us... for bringing us to this place." He says, his own eyes tearing up. "You're damn right, I do!" She shouts with tears in her eyes and he remains silent. "Because it means I'll never be with you... you'll never be mine and I'll never be yours!" She says and he shakes his head. "Then why have you been helping me? Why are you with me?" He asks and she looks at him as the tears finally fall. "Because then I'd resent myself for taking away my last chance to have some semblance of happiness." She says, quietly and he looks down. "It's like I said, I know what it's like to be with you and to be apart from you... and I rather be with you... for however short a time that may be. But now you have to go... and I won't let you stay... not for me and not for my sake." She says and he looks up, tears streaming down his face.

Mothers on the stoop, boys in souped-up coupes
On this hot summer night
Between fight and flight is the blind man's sight
And the choice that's right
I roll the window down,
Feel like I'm gonna drown in this strange town
Feel broken down, I feel broken down

In one swift step he was standing directly in front of her, gazing down into her brown, soulful eyes. He wanted to say so much to her... but the words wouldn't come out, only a huge lump in his throat as he tried to force back tears. Liz stares up into his eyes, studying the way they looked just then, attempting to memorize them, wanting to never forget the way they looked into hers... so intense, so breathtaking, so soul consuming... so utterly beautiful. She opens her mouth to say something when he swiftly, sweeps down, capturing her lips in his. His lips cling to hers desperately, passionately and then firecely devouring her mouth completely. Mouths opened and tongues explored, jutting in, out and around, low moans and soft sighs over and over and that's when it happened... a flash. Their first flash since what had seemed like forever. It didn't last long, a few seconds maybe, but it had been clear, definite... powerful nonetheless.

Flash

An older version of Max sitting in front of Liz, outside on her roof. Tears glistening in her eyes as she spoke to him... "Don't you realize what you are to me... and you're always gonna be? You're the love of my life. Everyone else is gonna be second best. There'll never be another you."

Flash

And just like that it was over. Max pulls away, his breathing off as he stares at Liz in awe. She looks up at him, trying to catch her own breath. "Don't YOU realize what you are to me?" Max says, fiercely and Liz looks up at him confused. "What are you talking about?" Liz asks and he smiles. "I had a flash." He says, softly and Liz looks up at him. "A flash?" She asks, just as surprised. He nods and then looks down, realizing she hadn't gotten one in return. "You didn't see anything?" He asks and she shakes her head. "No... what did you see?" She asks and he looks up. "You and... and future Max. I think you guys were on your roof. You were telling him about me... you said, 'Don't you realize what you are to me?' And you were crying." Max tries to explain the flash and Liz looks down. "It was after you saw... Kyle and I... in bed together." She says tentatively. Max nods. She looks up at him, sadly. "I thought- I thought I lost you for good... that everything between us was over." Liz pauses. "You- I mean, the future version of you... was telling me that maybe I was better off with a human. But how could that be?" Liz says with a half smile. "You're everything to me... I'm never gonna love anyone the way that I love you... human or alien." She tells him and he smiles, tearfully. "I'd do anything for you... and that's why you have to go... you have to do this." She tells him and he looks away. "What if I can't... what if I need you by my side?" He asks and she shakes her head. "Max, you can do this... I know you can." She tells him and he turns back to her. "What if I want you to come with me?" He asks and she freezes. That was one thing she hadn't counted on. She wasn't even sure if that was possible... physically. "What if I need you to come with me, Liz?" He asks and she looks up into his pleading, amber eyes. "I- I can't, Max." She says, sadly and his heart drops. He knew it was irrational to ask her to come... they couldn't be certain that she would be able to survive on Antar. He knew it was unfair to ask her... and yet he had to... he had to know if she would go with him... and now he knew. He knew and it hurt... but he understood.

Do you need me, like I need you?
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?
Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
Was that you passing me by?

Max cups her face in his hands, his thumb stroking the soft skin of her cheeks that were wet from the tears. "Liz... I owe you so much... more than just my life... I don't know how to- to thank you for that." He says and she shakes her head. "You don't have to thank me... not for loving you." She says and he smiles. "It was the best thing that ever happend to me... meeting you, loving you... having you love me back. That was one thing I thought was never possible... to be loved by you." He says and she looks down. "I never knew what love really was until you loved me." She says, honestly and he tilts her chin up, so that she was forced to look at him. "I'll always love you, Liz Parker." He says, sincerely and a tear slips down her cheek. "I'll always love you, Max Evans." She counters and he wipes her tears away. "And I'll promise you something... I will come back for you." He says and she looks away from him, not saying anything. He looks on confused by her reaction. "What?" He asks and she takes a breath. "I just wish you wouldn't make promises you can't keep." She says. "I will be back, Liz... I love you and I will be back!" He says, determined to make her believe him. She turns to look at him. "Max, you don't know that... you don't know what's happening on Antar or what kind of danger your son is in... you don't know how long you'll be gone." She says and he nods. "I know... but... one day..." He starts and Liz pulls away from him. "One day... one day you might be able to return... but maybe you won't want to." She says and he shakes his head. "I will... I will because I'll know you'll be here..." He says. "...waiting for you?" Liz asks. "That's what you're asking... you're asking me to wait." She says and he freezes, realizing she was right. "I know it's selfish... and I know I shouldn't ask you to... but the thought of you with somebody else." He says and she looks down, sadly. "I don't want you to give up your dreams, you've already sacrificed so much for me. I want you to live out your dreams... to do all the things you've only dreamed of doing since you were a little girl. Of graduating... of going to Harvard... of becoming the head of the micro biology department..." He says and she looks up with tears in her eyes. "How about being a wife... or a mother... I want those things too, Max." She says and he nods. "I know... and I want them for you too." He says, his voice hoarse with emotion. "I guess... I just wish they could be with me." He says and she shakes her head. "But they can't, Max. I'll never have those things with you... I won't be your wife or the mother of your children... and I've accepted that... I have to." She says and he knows she's right. "I guess I have to let go too." He says, softly and she nods. "I don't know how, Liz. I've never been able to... I could push you away and always keep you at arm's length... but I've never been able to fully let go. I don't think I want to." He says and she looks at him seriously, tears glistening. "You have to... for your son." She says and she watches as tears fall from his eyes.

Sweet sorrow is the call tomorrow
Sweet sorrow is the call tomorrow

They stare at each other, both silently crying. Max watches as Liz wipes away her tears and then tries to smile bravely for him. She opens her mouth, but before she can say anything he stops her, placing a gentle finger to her lips. "Don't... don't say it." He says, softly. "Not yet." He whispers and she looks up at him. "Isabelle's getting married tomorrow." He says and Liz nods. "I know." She says. "It's weird... I didn't even know she was dating Jesse until recently... and now she's marrying him." He says and Liz smiles. "Yeah... it's pretty incredible." She says and he nods and their is a slight pause in the conversation. "Will you go with me?" He asks and she looks up at him, not sure what to say. "I'm supposed to be Jesse's best man... and I told Isabelle I'd go." He says. "She doesn't know about me leaving and... this way I get to be there on the most important day of her life... before I leave." He goes on and Liz nods, understanding. "So... will you go with me, Liz?" He asks and she hesitantly, nods. "Yes... I'll go with you." She says and he smiles. "I know we're probably making it harder on ourselves... but I just don't want to say goodbye yet." He says and she looks at him. "One more day." She agrees with him and he nods. "One more day." He confirms.

One more day... to be with her... to hold her... to touch her... to kiss her... one more day to love Liz Parker the way she deserved to be loved... the way she had loved him all along.

Do you love me, like I love you?
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?
Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
Was that you passing me by?

TBC...

Thanks to those who replied and read the story... I do appreciate it... this being my first M/L fic and all. If you can let me know what you think... thanks.

applebehr
posted on 6-Nov-2001 6:40:07 PM by applebehr
Thanks so much for the replies... I said one more part... but I haven't finished the whole part and since it's long I broke it into two... so there should be one more part after this one, which I hope to have done soon.

Part Three

The wedding was beautiful, outside at Summer Haven Park by the water and the sun shining down... beautiful and magical, just how Isabelle had wanted it with her friends and her family... small and intimate. Liz and Maria were Isabelle's bride's maids and Max, Jesse's best man... and Isabelle looked beautiful in her white wedding gown and veil. It was all so beautiful. The sun was setting, now and Liz sits at one of the white linen covered round tables, by herself and watches as couples dance. Her eyes focus on Isabelle and Jesse as they move slowly to the music, holding each other oh so tight... looking oh so happy and Liz can't help but smile, tearfully. Happy that Isabelle found someone... someone to love and to love her back... someone to laugh with and dream with... and grow old with. And sad that she herself would probably never have that... not when her heart seemed so consumed with Max, someone she was never destined to be with. She looks at Maria and Michael and smiles again... they were so good together... perfect for each other... and Maria deserved to be happy and to have a chance at a lifetime of it... and she believed Maria would have her day too. She sighs and then gets up from her seat... weddings always made her cry... as she is about to leave to the ladies room she hears four words that stop her in her tracks.

Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be all right
And I shall believe

Liz spins around to see Max standing there, looking so very handsome in his black suit, white shirt and ivory silk tie and all she can do is stare at him, unable to move. He walks over to her and reaches out his hand and in unspoken words she accepts as they they walk out to where all the other couples were dancing. He slides one hand around to her lower back and the other clutches her hand to his chest as they begin to move. Liz rests her head against his shoulder as her free hand runs over the fabric of his suit, absently. She closes her eyes when he finally speaks.

"Have I told how beautiful you look?" He whispers to her and she can only smile, but he can't see. She had on a deep red, slip dress... simple but elegant. It skimmed over her lithe curves and stopped just below her knee with a slit up the right side, giving her ample room to move. The neckline cut straight across, very respectably and two thin straps held up the dress. Her hair was half down and half up in this intricate bun thing with the blunt ends falling down loosely... Maria had done it and said it looked beautiful. And finally the dress was topped off with three inch, strappy sandals... making her legs look even longer.

I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe

Max trails his hand up her back and then lowers his head, placing a kiss on her bare shoulder. "What are you thinking about?" He whispers and Liz sighs. "What it must feel like... to know you have all the time in the world together... or what it must feel like to look at the person you love and know that they'll still be here when you wake up the next morning." She says, softly and he closes his eyes as he holds her a little tighter. "I just- I really want this day to happen for me too, Max." She says and he nods and he looks ahead of him... his eyes distant and tortured. "And it will... one day... I really believe you will have this day, Liz." He pauses. "And maybe it will be with me... and maybe it won't... but you'll have this day... and we'll have this... right now." He says, his voice low and filled with emotion. She turns her head so that her face was now buried in the crook of his neck. She takes in his scent... that mixture of the soap he used this morning and the cologne he had put on... and that scent that was just him... that scent that could calm her nerves in an instant. He can feel her warm breath on his neck and the feel of her soft skin against his. He can smell her shampoo and her perfume... vanilla... she always smelled like vanilla, but sweeter somehow. He knew there were things he'd never forget no matter where he went or how long he was gone... like the way she smelled or the way her hair felt passing through his fingers... silky and soft... or the way her body felt... fit against his, like it was meant to be all along... like she was made for him. He turns his head and his chin brushes ever so softly against her temple. She lifts her head up and looks up at him as his deep amber eyes drink in the sight in front of him, unable to stop himself from drowning in her mere presence. He lowers his head and his lips brush against hers in a tender kiss and that familiar connection is sparked.

Flash

The same older version of Max, this time in a dark office talking to Liz... "Oh, we had a great wedding. You called Maria, Michael, Isabelle, and Alex, and had them meet us halfway. We spent the whole night singing and dancing in some dive outside Phoenix, and at the end of the night, 'I Shall Believe' came on the radio"... And Liz smiles... "I love that song"... He nods... "I know. Everyone else was exhausted, but not us. Oh, we danced... just the two of us. And ever since then, it's been our song."... Liz looks at him tearfully.

Flash

This time the flash had lasted longer... he could actually feel himself there, unlike before when it had been too quick but to see and hear the conversation. Max stares down at Liz and she knows he saw something... had another flash... yet she hadn't seen anything from him. "What did you see?" She asks and he leans his forehead against hers while one hand rests on the side of her face and the other remained around her waist, ensuring she wouldn't leave him. "You... you and me- the future me. He was telling you about our wedding... how we danced all night... you, me, Maria, Michael, Isabelle... and..." He stops and she looks into his eyes. "Alex." Liz says, barely a whisper and he nods. "I want that back, Liz." He says and she looks up at him. "I want my wedding day with you... with all of our friends there... with Alex. I want it so much... I want the life we could've had... should've had... not this one." He says, broken down and she shakes her head. "Max..." Is all she can say before her own tears start falling. He wipes them away and pulls back, looking at her, determined. "Let's get out of here." He whispers and she shakes her head. "We can't just leave." She says and he looks down at her. "If I have to go... if I have to leave you... then I want to spend my last hours on earth just with you." He says and she looks down, unsure of what to do. "Liz... if we can't have a lifetime together... then please let us have this... just us." He says, softly and she looks up at him, nodding. "Ok." She says, quietly and he takes her hand in his, firmly and without even a goodbye to the others, he leads her out of the park and towards his car.

TBC...

Hope you liked it... thanks again for replying and reading, I appreciate it.

applebehr