|posted on 20-Sep-2002 10:37:03 PM by FireflyDreamer|
|Title: Sorrow’s Company|
Author: FireflyDreamer (aka Shann S.)
Category: M/L (if I add anybody else it will definitely be CC)
Disclaimer: Sue me. I dare you.
Summary: This is a response to a challenge by katrina. Post EOTW. Max and Liz are separated (obviously) and they both become depressed. And I won’t say much else, you have to read it to find out!
AN: The lyrics belong to Incubus (they rule) and the song is called Consequence. Feedback is a must! Even if you just say one word, I need to know that people are reading. Oh, and if you really like the fic, tell a friend! The more the merrier! LoL. Also, I promise this won’t interfere with my other fic Subtly Different.
I was always a big dreamer. Constantly imagining what life would be like in a perfect world. But you know what the funny thing about dreams is? When they actually come true they’re not what you bargained for. Cause just like life, they’re not perfect either. Ever heard the phrase be careful what you wish for, you just might get it? Well, I got what I wanted and now my world is crashing down around me…
Liz Parker sat staring at the doctor’s office wall. She knew that she could leave, but she was too numb to think straight. ‘When did my life become such a nightmare?’ ran through her head over and over and over…
What was she going to do now? How could she tell anyone? Endless questions with no answers. In the background she dimly heard a song playing from somewhere down the hall.
You better think fast!
Cause you never know what’s comin’ around the bend.
You better not blink!
For Consequence is a bigger word than you think.
It’s bigger than you or me.
She shakily started getting dressed, the song a new mantra in her head. She had never been so scared or uncertain of her future in her life. The consequences of her actions were higher than she had ever imagined.
[ edited 6 time(s), last at 22-Dec-2002 8:19:02 PM ]
|posted on 22-Sep-2002 7:29:50 PM by FireflyDreamer|
|New part friday or saturday. Don't think I can get it out sooner. Sorry.|
Unknown_Star - I promise part 1 will be longer! LoL
|posted on 25-Oct-2002 10:21:29 PM by FireflyDreamer|
|AN - I am SOOOOOO sorry about not updating! I feel horrible, but my muse has just not been working with me. I've been concentrating more on my other fic because I've had plenty of ideas for that one. While I've been having trouble trying to figure out how I want to set everything up in this fic. But, my muse is slowly coming back to me, so I should have a new part out tomorrow or sunday! Sorry, again, to all those who have been waiting for an update!|
Unknown_Star - A special big apology/thanks to you! I know the fact that it's taken me forever to update probably aggravated you, and I'm sorry. But I would also really like to thank you for all the bumps and everything! Without the bumps I might not have realized that people actually remembered this fic and my muse probably would've taken longer to return! Thanks!
|posted on 27-Oct-2002 7:07:44 PM by FireflyDreamer|
|Here's the new part. Not very long, but I really wanted to end it there. |
(A few months earlier, right after EOTW)
Liz Parker walked slowly, thoughtfully, down an empty street. The harsh wind gusted and blew, biting through her thick coat. But she didn’t notice. Her mind was far, far away…
What did I do to deserve this?! No…No…I did the right thing, that’s all that matters. Thinking about what could have been or how unfortunate I am doesn’t help. At least everyone will be alive when all is said and done, even if they won’t know to thank me. Still…who am I kidding? This is practically a fate worse than death! Max won’t even say a single word to me, and every time he sees me he gives me that half I’m-about-to-burst-out-crying, half extremely angry look that kills me inside a little more each time. I don’t know how I’m going to survive. Even Maria and Alex, who have always stuck by me, are acting weird around me.
But this isolation and anger I have to deal with are just the price I have to pay to save the world. Hah! If you really think about it that sounds so incredibly stupid! How could a little nobody like me save the whole fuckin’ world? Well, as my alien friends have proved, anything’s possible…
Why do I always have to be the sacrificial one? The one who always does what’s in the best interest of others, even if it brings pain to myself? Why couldn’t someone else sacrifice their happiness, just once? But no, that’s not how the world works. Why would anyone want Liz to be happy? Haha…I’m just a boatload of laughs today. Until now I don’t think I ever realized how funny cynicism really is! Damn…I have to stop thinking like this. I couldn’t just choose to let everyone die. Not that that was really an option. I need something to take my mind off everything. Anything…
And Liz, who was lost in her own little world, did not realize where she was walking. Suddenly, she heard the sound of a car starting right next to her and screamed when it started to back up, barely stopping before it crashed into her. She looked up, hyperventilating and scared half to death, to see exactly where she was and who had almost run her over. Shit…
“LIZ! What the hell are you doing here and why aren’t you watching where you’re going, damn it?!” Max yelled, slamming the door and shocking her even more. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped agape. He’d never yelled at her before. For that matter, he’d never yelled at anyone like that before. “Well?!” he demanded, the fury in his eyes evident. It seemed as if he’d kept all his emotion in check, but now, with something to be angry about that didn’t involve Kyle, he let all his anger and pain loose, ignoring the real problem, but letting his emotions out nonetheless.
“I was just walking…I…I’m sor-sorry…I didn’t…didn’t mean to walk…ri-right in front of you,” Liz stuttered, unable to form a real coherent thought.
“Next time watch where you’re going! And why the hell are you here anyway?! Your house is on the other side of town! Oh, wait…sorry,” he said disdainfully, “you were just walking from Kyle’s, weren’t you?! Have fun?! Hope you did, you whore!” Max shouted angrily, his hurt from her “betrayal” showing through.
Liz was at a near breakdown at this point. The pain his words were causing was too much to bear. But she wouldn’t let him see her cry…Before she knew it she was running as fast as she could down the street and away from him, tears streaking down the sides of her face.
“Ashamed now, huh?! Well, FUCK YOU!” she heard him yell behind her. Then a car door slammed and an engine gunned and soon all was silent again…
Liz ran all the way back to the Crashdown, not noticing all the weird looks she received. She climbed up the fire escape, ran into the bathroom, and threw up while sobs wracked her body. Even after the contents of her stomach were all gone, she stayed there, letting the pain take over…She couldn’t stop crying…
Eventually she managed to pick herself up and crawl into bed, curling herself into a tight ball. She had no more tears left to cry, but the pain was still there. She didn’t move for a very, very long time.
TBC...only with feedback!
|posted on 28-Oct-2002 7:25:08 PM by FireflyDreamer|
|I have a Halloween inspired idea for the next part, so I hope to hell it'll be finished by Thursday! I should be able to finish it, soooo...be on the lookout! That'll be two parts in one week! Woo! LoL! |
|posted on 31-Oct-2002 8:43:38 PM by FireflyDreamer|
|AN - See?! I finished it!! LoL! Happy Halloween everybody! This would be the second update this week...I must be on a roll! Sorry that it's a little short, but I hope you like it. I don't know, this part and I argued with each other for a long time and I can't decide whether I'm happy with it or not.|
Liz looked around. The room seemed vaguely like Kyle’s living room, but it was all decorated for Halloween. There were a lot of people, all dressed up. ‘But it’s not Halloween,’ Liz thought to herself. She glanced down at her own appearance and found she was the only one without a costume on. Standing there, all alone, in the corner, the party went on without her.
There was a commotion coming from the door and she looked up. A man with a black hooded cloak strode into the room. The hood surrounded his face in darkness and he was carrying a long dagger, covered in blood. She suddenly became aware of an unbearable pain, and when she looked down she discovered that she was covered in blood and there was a huge gap in her chest right over her heart. Doubled over in agony, she started screaming for help, but no one noticed her. When she looked back to the figure in the cloak she found herself staring straight into Max’s angry eyes. The hurt she saw there, before he turned away, only caused her more anguish.
As she walked around desperately, pleading for help, no one even glanced at her. Eventually she found Alex, Maria, Michael, and Isabel, all dressed up as if they were dead, ghosts really. But even they never seemed to see her. They just continued on dancing and having fun without her. Then she heard Maria whisper to Michael, “I’m so glad Liz isn’t here. She’s been acting so weird lately, I just can’t stand being around her.”
With that Liz rushed away, tears streaming down her face, and the blood started to flow even quicker…She thought to herself, ‘I’ve lost too much blood, I must be dying.’ Someone handed her a cup of punch, although she didn’t even see who it was, they were gone so quick. She was so weak she couldn’t stand up, so she started crawling back to her corner, where she could be alone to die. As she trudged along, she drank the punch slowly, feeling the cool liquid trickle down her throat.
Finally, she made it back to the corner. By this time the room was starting to spin and she felt woozy. The punch was spiked, she suddenly realized. The more she drank, the more disoriented she became, and soon everyone in the room was blurred together. In her drunken state, though, the pain was numbed. She knew she was still bleeding, but she didn’t feel it anymore. It was as if she was standing on the precipice of death, unable to see straight and disconcerted, and yet she did not feel scared or upset. Before long she saw Max again. He was the only one in the room who wasn’t spinning or blurred. As she stared at him more closely, she found that he was bleeding too. With a gaping hole right in his chest, he was covered in just as much, if not more, blood than her. Slowly, she brought her gaze up to his face and looked right into his pain filled eyes. He was also drinking the punch. A connection sparked between the two of them and it was as if she could see into his soul…
She was in a different room now. Max was making love to her in dim candlelight. They moved together, unhurriedly, on the bed, crying and bleeding together. The pain of separation bringing them together, so they could comfort each other in a way that no one else could. The pain was flowing out of her with the blood, and the pleasure was intensifying with each second. Max was now pounding into her, and the wound in her chest disappeared as she came. They lay together, but the solace they had found was not meant to be. Max was slowly fading away, and with that the wound opened fresh again…
She was back in the living room, sitting in her corner, staring at Max. The connection snapped away and Max didn’t appear to have any blood on him anymore. He glared at her in resentment and walked away. Everything was clear, nothing was spinning anymore, and the pain had returned ten-fold. She wailed in agony, but still no one heard. In her peripheral vision she could see Tess and Kyle making out on the couch, and she had the sudden urge to laugh hysterically. But she ended up coughing, blood coming up her throat…
“Liz! Liz wake up!” her mom pleaded shaking her. Liz slowly looked up, aware of the tears streaming down her cheeks. “Are you okay?” her mother asked worriedly. “You were screaming and I couldn’t get you to wake up.”
“I’m fine mom. Just a nightmare…just a nightmare…”
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 1-Nov-2002 5:04:40 PM ]
|posted on 4-Nov-2002 7:55:56 PM by FireflyDreamer|
|Pathetic self bump! What can I say? LoL |
|posted on 13-Nov-2002 8:10:26 PM by FireflyDreamer|
|AN - I don't know when the next part is going to be out. Sorry. I'm going out of town on Friday and I'll be gone all weekend. Then, I don't know, I can pretty much guarantee a new part next week. Truthfully, this fic hasn't been cooperating with me at all. That's why there's been such a delay between parts. I know how I want to end the fic, but I'm not sure how to get there. *sigh* I'm sooo sorry! I promise to go beat my muse into submission as soon as I get off! |
The f/b continues to amaze me! I love it! It means so much to me. If I hadn't gotten all the f/b I have, I might have given up on it, but since I know people really do like this fic I will definitely continue. Even if it takes me forever in between parts. Sorry again!
|posted on 2-Dec-2002 10:26:47 PM by FireflyDreamer|
|Unknown_Star - Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you soooooooooooooo much for all the bumps! You have no idea how happy it makes me! You are my favorite person right now! Really! I know you're probably sick of all the bumping and no new parts, but it really is extremely appreciated and inspirational. And yes, it helps my ego too! LoL! Sorry for the wait and a big huge thanks for all the bumping! *muah* I'm really trying, I swear! |
My life has been absolute hell these past few weeks, but I'm almost done with part 5 of my other fic, and the second I finish I will write a part to this one. I will! Even if I have to wrestle with my muse. As for when that can be expected....Within the next week and a half?? Life equals hell right now, but x-mas break is coming soon, so I'll have a ton of time to write!
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 2-Dec-2002 10:32:42 PM ]
|posted on 15-Dec-2002 2:34:54 PM by FireflyDreamer|
|And yes, as Unknown_Star said I would, I thank you! Of course, silly me, thought I'd have time to finish the part last week, when I didn't even have time to go anywhere near the computer...Damn school! It's keeping me away from my fanfic! LoL! But, seriously, I have four more days of exams left before a nice huge 3 week break. So, I'm going to study my ass off so that I don't fail and get banned from the computer and have a new part by Friday. Really. I promise this time. No more school, so I can stay up as long as it damn takes on thursday to finish it! Hah! Take that busy life! If you can't tell I'm a little exasperated and sick of having no free time...Once again, thanks for the bumpage...oh, and for listening to me rant! |
|posted on 22-Dec-2002 8:15:56 PM by FireflyDreamer|
|I hate my computer!!! I had finished the part on Friday and I was getting ready to post and it went crazy. Uhg...it's still all skrewed up, but at least it's letting me on now. *fingers crossed* Please post...please, please, please! I'm sooo sorry too, but I swear it's the damn computer's fault. Grrrrrrrr....I hate this piece of...|
Liz stared straight forward, pretending to take notes. She refused to glance over at Max. They hadn’t talked since Saturday when he almost ran her over with his car. Stop it, she snapped at herself. I’ve got to stop thinking about him. This is the way things have to be and I’m just going to have to get used to it. As she thought this she sighed. She could put up this brilliant façade, even towards herself, and it wouldn’t mean a damn thing. The pain would still be felt deep within her soul.
After an eternity the bell finally rang. Liz put her things away quickly and was out the door as soon as possible, making sure to avoid Max. She took her time going to lunch, dreading to get there any sooner than necessary. All too quickly she found herself approaching the table where everyone was sitting.
“Ahhhh, the infamous Liz Parker finally graced us with her presence. Did you decide to make a little stop in the eraser room before coming to lunch?” Michael sneered.
Liz opened her mouth to respond but no words came out. Her face turned red and she didn’t know what to say. In the background she heard Tess snicker. Bitch. Liz slowly looked at each person at the table. Isabel glared at her. Michael had his eyebrows raised as he waited for a response, his face showing no emotion. In his eyes, though, she could see anger. When she reached Maria, Maria seemed to search Liz’s face for something and looked as if she was about to ask Liz a question, but decided against it and said nothing. As Liz turned towards Max, Tess gave her a pointed look, moving even closer to Max, if that was possible. Hot bile rose in her throat, but she couldn’t stop herself from looking at Max. Instead of looking at her in anger, which she was used to by now, he just glanced at her coldly, seeming to be barely interested in her, and continued to east his food.
Without a word Liz left the table. If she stayed there any longer she would have a complete breakdown. It was one thing to hear people whisper behind her back, but when her friends couldn’t even stand to be near her…Faintly, she heard Maria call her name, but she was already around the corner. Now that she was behind the school she stopped and leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes. Before she could stop herself, she felt a tear race down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away, refusing to let herself cry.
“Hey…you’re Liz right? Want a drink? No offense, but you look like you could use one,” someone said off to her left. Liz turned quickly and saw TJ sitting on the ground a few feet from her. At least she thought that was what his name was. “I’m Liz,” she whispered, feeling embarrassed at having him catch her like this. He held out his drink in invitation, and when she didn’t move immediately to go get it he set it down next to him.
Liz looked at the bottle suspiciously, still standing against the wall. It was some sort of Vodka, she could tell that much. Liz had always been the perfect daughter and had never touched any sort of alcohol before. But now she couldn’t stop herself from thinking about taking his invitation. I just want to make it all to go away…I want to forget about everything, even if it’s only for a little while.