posted on 24-Sep-2002 9:28:44 PM by Lonnie Incarnate
“Waste” by Staind

You mother came up to me
She wanted answers only she should know
Only she should know

It wasn't easy to deal
With the tears that rolled down her face
I had no answers 'cause
I didn't even know you

But these words
They can't replace
The life you...
...the life you waste

How could you paint this picture?
With life as bad as it should seem
That there were no more options for you
I can't explain how I feel
I've been there many times before
I've tasted the cold steel of my life crashing down before me

But these words
They can't replace
The life you...
...the life you waste

Did Daddy not love you?
Or did he love you just too much?
Did he control you?
Did he live through you at your cost?
Did he leave no questions for you to answer on your own?

For not having
The strength in your heart
To pull through!
I've had doubts!
I have failed!
I've fucked up!
I've had plans!
Doesn't mean
I should take
My Life
With my own hands

But these words
They can't replace
The life you...
...the life you waste

But these words
The don't replace
The life you...


Kyle kicked a can that was on the street he was wandering down. In the last couple months he’d had a lot to think about, aliens, him alive regardless of the fact he was shot and was bleeding out onto the floor of the UFO Center, right across the street where Liz’s blood had leaked out of her body. But her healer had been in love with her. He had just been…a favor of some sorts, at least that’s what he had thought in the beginning but he had been accepted so wholly into the group, well as wholly as Michael would allow, that he actually felt like part of the group and not some outcast. Buddha knew how many times he risked his neck for the group, and he was happy to do it. He rotated from excitedly happy that his grandfather had not been a crazy SOB and other times he was terrified, because of his involvement with aliens risked him and his dad. Lately there had been reports of the FBI’s alien squad coming to town because of some leads they had heard. Kyle was in one of his terrified and determined moods. It surprised him at times, he was terrified of what would happen to him and his dad, yet he was determined to help the group that he had recently been accepted into. He pulled his thoughts from everything that had been happening and realized that he had walked past the Crashdown where he had been heading. He rubbed his eyebrow & muttered,

“I really need to stop doing that,”

Lately he had been wandering places un-intentionally or walking past places. He turned around sighing and headed back the way he had come. He wouldn’t let himself be dragged back into his thoughts so he watched his feet and the sidewalk trying to keep from going back to the dangers he had been thinking about. He saw the lights of the stupid UFO sign on the Crashdown and sped up a little. He opened the door and was hit with the smell of greasy food, he inhaled deeply, ah, yes, he could feel his arteries already beginning to clog. He scanned the resturant, lately there had always been someone in the Crashdown besides Maria and Liz when they were working. Ah, he spotted Alex sitting in the back table hunched over his laptop. He walked over to the table,

“Mind some company? I just don’t want to be in my house by myself, the whole rumors about the FBI coming kinda freak out the big ol’ jock,”

“There’s a jock around here?” Alex asked teasing looking around, “Sit yourself down. I’m just finishing up my homework, my parents went on vacation for the weekend leaving me alone. Not that I usually mind, but with the threat now, I like to stick with groups of people or people…well not people…Checklsovachians…”

“I know what you mean,” Kyle sad laughing a little. He did know what Alex meant, it was what kept him from concentrating, and kept him looking over his shoulder.

Maria walked up to the two of them, “Hey guys, what are you doing here?”

“I came for the food and the hopeful company of someone else in our exclusive I Know A Checkelsovachian Club,” Kyle responded earning a slight glare from Maria.

“Watch what you say, I mean who knows who could be listening, I mean we’ve heard the rumors that the FBI could be coming here,” Maria said starting in on one of her rants.

“Maria calm down, sniff some cedar oil or something, I just came because my house is creepy when it’s empty.”

“You could stay at my house,” Kyle offered, “I mean it’s not as though my dad is exactly coherent yet on the whole thing.”

“You sure? I don’t want to burden anyone with my skinny ⊕ss and few essentials,” Alex said.

“I’m not so sure now, if you keep up that weird talk it’ll be a definate no,” Kyle retorted.

“Um…are you gonna order or argue?”

“Order,” the two of them said at the same time. Maria looked at one then the other and promptly burst into laughter.

“Sorry…” then she cleared her throat, “So what can I get for you two?”

“Um….a Bluemoon burger for me with a cherry coke,” Kyle said.

“That sounds good to me, I’ll have what he’s having,” Alex said.

When their food arrived the two sat in silence each caught in their own thoughts. They didn’t see two men come in and sit down to watch them. They didn’t see the two men as they scanned the room and made notes on a piece of paper. When Alex and Kyle finished their food Kyle stood up,

“I should probably get back to my house to do some speed cleaning in my room and at least warn my dad. So…come in like half an hour?”

“That should give me enough time to finish my homework here. So yeah, I’ll see you then.” Alex said looking at him then he zoned back in on his computer screen. Maria was busy helping a customer when Kyle left. Otherwise Maria would have seen the two men from before get up from their table and quickly leave the Crashdown following Kyle.

As hard as Kyle tried not to fall into thoughts as he so often did lately he did. He never heard the two men come up from behind him. All he saw was darkness.


Alex finished off the last of his dessert – a chocolate milkshake, just as he finished his US History homework. He closed the lid to his laptop and sighed stretching slightly. He checked his watch, 7:45, time to start towards Kyle’s house. He put his computer in his bag and called to Maria,

“Bye Maria, see you at school tomorrow,”

Maria only nodded slightly as she tried to deal with an annoying set of customers. I mean what right did they have on how to cook the food here?

Alex walked the streets of Roswell towards the Sheriff’s house and rang the doorbell. The Sheriff opened the door.

“Alex! What a surprise, what can I do for you?”

Alex furrowed his brow a little, “You mean Kyle didn’t tell you I was coming over?”

“Kyle hasn’t come home yet,”

“He what? He left the Crashdown saying he was coming here like 45 minutes ago. Are you sure he’s not here?” Alex asked trying not to panic. If he was indeed missing there was only one answer he could think of and it wasn’t good… They checked Kyle’s room and found no one in his room.

“Uh-oh,” Alex whispered, “I uh, think I need to call some people…” Alex said walking to the phone. First he called the Crashdown and Mara got off early and got Liz as well. Then he called the Evan’s, they promised to get Michael on their way to the Sheriff’s. When Alex put the phone down and turned the Sheriff asked,

“I know there’s a reason why you called them…does this have something to do with the FBI?”

Alex didn’t say nothing and the Sheriff got his answer there. He turned white and sat down heavily on the already slouching couch.

After a few minutes the doorbell went off, with a glance telling Alex that the Sheriff was basically out of comission for the moment Alex went and opened the door letting in the group. They arranged themselves around the living room. Everyone looked tense except the Sheriff who just looked desperate.

“Alright, Kyle has most likely been taken by the FBI, does anyone have any ideas as to where they would take him?” Max asked.

“Probably to a military base, active or non-active, or government grounds…” Isabel said. She bite her lip before continuing, “I could see if I could find him…” In some respect she did indeed want to find Kyle, but if she couldn’t find him mentally then there were only two options one he was still awake and two…well two was that he was dead. Everyone nodded and she laid back on the couch her head in Alex’s lap and drifted into the dreamworld. The group looked anxious and scared at the same time, they knew what it could mean if she couldn’t find him. Finally she opened her eyes.

“How long was I out?” she asked.

“About a half hour,” Alex said showing her his watch.

“Well?” Michael demanded.

She bit her lip and shook her head no.

“I thought I found him once, but…I don’t think it was him, the orb seemed…somehow wrong.”

“Maybe he was knocked out?” Maria suggested.

Isabel thought about, “It could be, that would explain why it kinda felt like him but a little different.”

“Could you tell where it was near? If so maybe we can figure out where he’s being held,” Liz asked sensibly. Isabel looked down at the floor and shook her head. She felt so helpless, she couldn’t seem to do anything right on this.

“It’s alright, we’ll figure out where he is,” Max said to his sister knowing she probably wasn’t feeling to grand about not being able to locate him.

Outside there came a noise like someone throwing a rock at the door sounded. The Sheriff finally looked up from his posture,

“I’ll get that…maybe it’s him,”

No one had the heart to tell him that it was doubtful. The Sheriff opened the door and looked hopefully outside and discovered no one standing there. He sighed and as he was about to close the door when he noticed there was a rock on the porch.

“Guess it was just a rock thrown at the house as a prank or something,” he said showing the rock to the group before putting it on the table. Alex kept getting this feeling that there was something more then just pranks involved for the thrown rock. He picked it up.

“It’s light for it’s size,” he commented and looked at it closer noticing a hairline crack in it. He pried at it and the rock fell into two hollow pieces with a picture and note inside.

We know what you are, you can find your friend in the alley next to the resturaunt called The Crashdown. Your friend doesn’t look so good, perhaps you should take him to the doctor’s.”

There was no signature on the note but there was no need for it, everyone in the room knew exactly who it was that had written the note, the FBI. Maria picked up the picture that had fluttered to the ground and gasped,

“Oh, my God…”

Isabel grabbed the picture from her and looked at the picture in disgust, Kyle lay in the alley tied and beaten. There was a bruise forming on the inside of his arm it looked like.

“It looks like they gave him a shot of something…” she said looking at the picture.

“Well let’s go!” Maria cried getting up. Alex pulled her back down,

“I hate to say it but we might want to wait a little bit…do like a re-con mission…or have someone else ‘find him’…Sheriff? Could you maybe call in to the station saying that you’re son hasn’t come home yet? So maybe they can find him?”

The Sheriff stared at him for a second, “It probably would be best…” He got up and dialed the station.

“Hanson?….my son hasn’t come back, his friend came by about a half hour ago looking for him. Told me Kyle told him that he was heading home, if you run across him do you think you could bring him home?”

Sheriff hung up the phone, “I guess we wait now…and hope that they find him soon.”

Fifteen minutes later there was a knock on the door, the group looked at each other & headed for different sections of the house to hide. Except Alex who stayed, he was after all the friend who came by. Sheriff opened the door and Deputy Hanson was supporting Kyle.

“Oh, my God!” Sheriff said upon seeing his son, “Here, I’ll help, what happened?” He asked as he helped Kyle to the couch.

“As near we can tell he was ganged up on.”

“I hope we can find those punks that did it, maybe when he’s a little more co-herent.”

“I do too Sheriff,” Hanson said.

Alec was trying to look at Kyle without attracting attention to himself. The note had said he didn’t look too good, which was true, but somehow he doubted that the FBI had meant just that. The bruises almost looked…planned as if they were hiding something. He picked up Kyle’s wrist as if to check his pulse and saw the bruise on the inside of his arm. {That looks like a bruise from a needle} Alex thought, maybe they thought Kyle was an alien?

When Hanson left and the others came back out Alex said what he had figured out. No one knew what to do except for them to always travel in packs and never be alone plus be on the lookout.


Two weeks had passed since the night Kyle was attacked. There had been no more attempts but that didn’t mean that the FBI wasn’t watching them. Maria a lot of the time ended up staying at Liz’s house and Michael stayed at the Evan’s house. Kyle was back in school slowly healing from the bruises.

This morning he had woken with a sore throat and feeling slightly achy. He sighed, {Just my luck, I finally start feeling better and I get the flu} he thought to himself heading down the hall to where the group was.

“Kyle!” Liz said loudly and started forward to hug him.

“I think I’m coming down with a cold I wouldn’t suggest hugging me,” Kyle said.

“I think I can handle the flu,” Liz said hugging him despite his warning.

Max didn’t say anything but definitely watched the two of them. That in itself almost made Kyle feel better.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have come back today,” Maria said, “I mean if you have the flu you should be resting, especially after…nevermind,” she said quickly.

“Dad made an appointment with my doctor this afternoon, if he says that I should stay at home for a couple days then I will, alright mother?” Kyle said, the group cracked a smile, it seemed like all they could achieve these days. The threat of the FBI was just too great.


Kyle and his dad drove in silence from the doctor’s office. They just didn’t know what to say to each other. They had no words that they could express. Kyle wanted to laugh, to say that it was all just a big joke…he couldn’t have HIV, he hadn’t even had sex yet. But he also wanted to cry. Jim Valenti was just in shock. He knew exactly where Kyle had gotten the HIV virus. From those bastard FBI agents. Alex hadn’t been completely right, they hadn’t drawn blood, they had injected him with the HIV virus.

posted on 26-Sep-2002 2:28:02 PM by Lonnie Incarnate
lol, JBehrsGirl, while you wait, you can go solicite my other fic, ;-) hint,, I probably won't update this till after my b-day which is in 6 days. So be patient I have stuff I have to catch-up on in h/w.