posted on 7-Oct-2002 1:44:34 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
Title: To Keep from Loving You
Category: M/L . AU. CC.
Rating: PG for now but it might turn into a steamy NC-17 as the story progresses. You will have to read to find out.
Disclaimer: I have all these characters locked in a closet in my bedroom. I shall release them only when I get {{in my best Dr. Evil voice}} one million dollars!!! *tongue*
Synopsis: This fic is loosely based on a challenge by Lillie:

With the death of Claudia Evans, Liz Parker Evans comes home to her family and husband that she tried to leave behind five years ago. A clause in Claudia's will states that unless Liz and Max don't have a child together, than Max will lose the family company. Pain, resentment and heartache are drudged up as the two try to figure out what they are going to do about things.

A/N: Okay, this is my first attempt at fanfiction. All feedback is welcome. I crave it! I need it! I love it! As for updates, I know as a reader I always hated waiting for long periods of time for updates so I'll try not to keep you guys waiting too long. However, I do work full-time so it will probably be a few days in between new chapters. I apologize in advance.

This is dedicated to all those wonderful authors whose fics I have been reading - Mockingbird39, Sansucry, Sky*wink*, Mia Nora, Ashley, Babybunny, Blake, Flohmac, Cookieman, PEACELOVESHEEP (yeah! Canucks rock!!), and to all the other wonderful authors.

Now on with the show.



Seattle, Washington

Liz bopped her head and tapped her fingers on the wheel as she loudly sang along with the radio,

”Ooh my little pretty one, my pretty one
When you gonna give me some time, Sharona!
Will you make my motor run, my motor run?
Got it coming all for the night, Sharona!”

Driving madly through rush hour traffic, she made it home in record time. Running up the stairs, she sighed as she opened her door. “Home sweet home,” she muttered to herself. After a long day at the lab she couldn’t wait to put on her sweats,
order Chinese, and relax in front of the TV - her typical Friday night routine.

Jumping on the couch, she was about to pick up the phone to place her order when there was a buzz from the front door. “Hello?” “There’s a FED-EX package here for a Ms. Elizabeth Parker-Evans,” was the reply. “I’ll be right down.” Grumbling she put her hair up in a pony tail and headed down the stairs.

“Hi there! I’m Liz Parker-Evans.” “Sign here, please,” said the delivery person pointing to the electronic device she held in her hands. Liz politely thanked her and took the package.

She wasn’t surprised that a package had arrived for her. She had been anxiously awaiting a reply from John Hopkins Hospital for the past two weeks regarding her job application. She had heard from an old college friend about an opening for a junior researcher in the hospital’s oncology department. Excitedly, she turned the package over hoping to see that it was indeed from the hospital. However, what she saw made her eyes grow wide and her mouth run dry. There in plain black and white was the sender’s address:

Estrada, Robertson & Associates
500-1250 Sommerville Avenue
Roswell, New Mexico

Silicon Valley, California

He picked up the mouse and scrolled through the daily research reports. He had spotted an error in one of the codes and was busily searching for the source of the problem. Max Evans never pried his eyes away from his computer screen as he answered the knock on his office door, “Come in.” “Hey Max! Got any plans for tonight? It’s Friday, you now.” Alex Whitman chattered as he walked in. He closed the door behind him and made himself comfortable on the brown leather couch.

Max and Alex had met a couple of years after college when they worked at the same software research company. They had gotten along well and even became roommates when they decided to start MEDSO-COR, a medical software company. Three years later, they were still doing well despite the decline in the computer industry.

“I know it’s Friday, Alex, but I have too much work to do. I still have to look over the test results for our bio-mapping software.” Alex just rolled his eyes. For as long as he had known him, Max had always poured his heart into his work. He seemed to enjoy it but Alex had the nagging feeling that Max wasn’t a workaholic just for the enjoyment factor. No, it was like he was hiding behind it. Using it as a distraction. A distraction from what, he did not know.

Alex was snapped out of his reverie by a soft knock on the door. “What is it?” was Max’s curt reply. “Mr. Evans, there is a FED-EX package for you.” “I’ll take that,” Alex eagerly stuck out his hand. The secretary smiled and handed him the package. Alex looked down to see where it was from. “Hey Max. This package is from Roswell, New Mexico. Didn’t you say you were from Rosw--” He looked up to see a visibly shaken Max.

[ edited 16time(s), last at 19-Feb-2003 8:34:22 PM ]
posted on 7-Oct-2002 8:54:53 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
Thanks for all the fb everybody! I see all the lovely Obsessies - thank you all for your support*big*!

Okay I know its only been a couple of hours but I thought I would post Chapter 1 right now. I was too excited to hold off until tomorrow. So here goes...


Chapter 1

Walking up the stairs, Liz looked at the small package in her hand. She never knew those three words could still elicit such a reaction from her.

It felt like such a distant memory…

~ Roswell, New Mexico ~
5 years previously

Looking out the window of their room she could see the sun rising just beyond the horizon. It was late September and the air was becoming cool. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She glanced over to the sleeping figure to her right. A solitary tear ran down her cheek. The peacefulness of early dawn was a stark contrast to the inner turmoil that she was feeling. Pain, regret, anger, and resentment now filled her heart. She had to get away. She had to move on.

Entering her apartment, she softly closed the door and threw her keys onto the side table. Slowly, she shuffled over to the couch and sat down. Tucking her feet under her, she began to tear the perforated edge of the package.

* * * * * *

“What’s wrong, Max?” Alex asked, but Max did not move to answer. Instead unshed tears pooled around his eyes as his shoulders drooped. However, as quickly as it came, the look of sadness disappeared and was replaced by a façade of calmness and control. “Nothing. I’m just a little tired. May I see the package, please,” Max coolly replied. Alex knew not to push Max. In all the years that he had known him, he knew that Max was very private about his past. “Here you go man. I’ll see you at the condo later.” He handed him the package and walked out of the office.

Max stared at the package for a moment before he hesitantly tore open the envelope.

Dear Mr. Evans:

We regret to inform you that on Thursday, August 29th, your grandmother, Claudia Louise Evans, passed away at Roswell General Hospital from heart complications.

There will be a service at Holy Cross Cathedral on Napier Street on Saturday, September 14th at 1:00 pm.

Your presence is requested for the reading of her last will and testament on Monday, September 16th at 10:00 am at the offices of Estrada, Robertson & Associates located at Suite 500, 1250 Sommerville Avenue.

Please call to confirm.

Yours truly,

Marcus Robinson, esq.

Max folded the letter up and replaced it in the envelope. His grandmother had died. The woman who was so full of life was now gone.

In her younger years, Claudia MacDonald had been a geologist with a great love for adventure. She had been out on a survey in the New Mexico desert when she met Walter Jackson Evans. They struck up a friendship and a couple of years later were married. During that time, the small oil well that Walter Evans had started, began to expand. Eventually, they were able to acquire oil wells and processing plants in most of New Mexico and Nevada. After his death, three decades later, the business was passed along to his son, Phillip, who left the practice of law in order to work for Evans Oil full-time.

Max had not spoken to his grandmother for nearly 5 years. They had had a falling out of sorts when he decided to leave Roswell to pursue his career in California.

Claudia was frustrated with Max. She had tried to persuade him to stay and work out his problems but to no avail. Max was determined to get away and once he has made up his mind, his stubborn streak took over and no one could convince him otherwise, not even his beloved grandmother.

Later that evening, Max decided to call it a day and head home. Once there, he found a note from Alex indicating that he had gone out to the pub to have dinner. At the mention of dinner, he heard his stomach grumble and proceeded to the kitchen to find something to eat. Placing his frozen pasta dinner in the microwave, he loosened his tie and picked up the phone.

“This is Southwest Airlines, how may I help you?”

“Hi, I would like to book a flight for Albuquerque, New Mexico. Leaving San Jose Monday morning.”

“I have a flight heading out at 10:00 am and 12:30 pm. Which one would you like sir.”

“I’ll take the 10:00 am flight.” He replied.

Max finished booking his flight and headed to his bedroom eating his dinner along the way. He had to start packing.


Max rolled over and hit the off switch on his alarm clock. He slowly opened his sleep-worn eyes and peeked at the time.

8:00 am

‘Good. Plenty of time to finish packing and tie up loose ends.’ He mused.

Groaning, he kicked off the covers, rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

He stripped off his boxers and stepped into the shower. As the stream of warm water hit his face, he sighed. After all these years he could not believe that he was going back.

“Max, you cannot run off like this.”

“Why not Grams?! She ran off why shouldn’t I? There’s nothing left for me here!”

Claudia sighed and shifted her weight on the chair. What was she to do? “What if she comes back, Max? It’s not like her to just run away without any explana--”

“Stop it!! She’s not coming back! It’s been one month!! One fucking month!! If she still hasn’t come back, she’s not planning on coming back!” His amber eyes flashing with his anger and hurt. “Don’t tell me you’re on her side. You’re my blood for crying out loud!! Yet you still take her side! I’m done with this town! I’m done with this family! I’m done with her!!” He furiously threw his clothes into his suitcase and stalked off, slamming the door behind him.

He stepped out of the shower and wrapped his towel around his chiseled waist. Turning, he placed his hands on either side of the sink and looked at his reflection in the mirror. His lip quivered and silent tears rolled down his damp cheeks. Regret washed over him in waves – remorse for leaving his family. He felt guilty and ashamed over that fact that his last conversation with his grandmother had been full of anger and bitterness.

Taking a deep breath, he splashed some cold water on his face and dried off. He stepped out of the bathroom and padded over to his closet to get dressed. A few minutes later he walked into the kitchen and was hit with the smell of fresh banana pancakes.

“I knew I kept you around for a reason.” Max grinned, his melancholy mood fading. He came around the counter and slapped Alex on his back.

“Hey I’m not only a computer geek but a great chef as well.” Alex raised his chin and puffed out his chest.

Max walked over to the breakfast counter and sat on a stool. “Listen, man. I gotta take off. Do you think you can handle the office for a few weeks without me?”

“No sweat, Max. I’m a big boy now, you know.” Alex rolled his eyes.

“Seriously, if it’s going to be too difficult, let me know and I’ll stay.”

“Don’t worry about it. I got it covered. The bio-mapping software will be wrapping up the testing stage. So there shouldn’t be any glitches I can’t handle.”

“Thanks.” Max smiled with gratitude. Not only was Alex a great business partner and roommate, he was a great friend as well.

After pouring syrup and shoving a mouthful of pancakes, Max mumbled, “hey this is great!”

“Was there any doubt?!” was Alex’s cheeky reply. “When are you leaving?”

“Monday morning at 10.”

“Well have fun! Where are you going, anyways?”


“Oh,” was all Alex could say.

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 7-Oct-2002 11:48:21 PM ]
posted on 8-Oct-2002 11:45:37 AM by Lolita Behrbuns
Just an egocentric bump for myself.*tongue*LoL

posted on 8-Oct-2002 3:13:37 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
Good afternoon everybody! Thank you once again for all the fb. I know everyone has a lot of questions. I will slowly try to answer them as I weave my tale.

Now I've been trying to make my posts longer because I want all my readers to enjoy themselves, but its really difficult.

Hi Floh, Angel, Moonie-Penny (hee hee!) and all you lurkers out there.

Liz, I'll try not to spoil you.*wink* Btw, if you have a pic of a buff dude by a pool that you can manipulate for me, that would be great. No pressure or anything. *wink*



Entering her apartment, she closed the door and threw her keys onto the side table. Slowly, she shuffled over to the couch and sat down. Tucking her feet under her, she began to tear the perforated edge of the package.


Chapter 2

After tossing and turning in her sleep, Liz glanced over at the clock on her nightstand and was confronted with large, angry red numbers – 6:30 am.

Deciding that she could no longer stay in bed, she lazily stretched her arms over her head and let out a long yawn. Placing her sock-clad feet on the wooden floor, she made her way over to the window. ‘Nothing like a good misty Seattle morning to wake you up,’ she thought to herself.

After changing from her pajamas to a sweatshirt and some leggings, she brushed her hair into a ponytail and tucked it under a baseball cap. She hurriedly grabbed her keys and bounded down the stairs and out the apartment door for her morning run.

As the cool dewy wind hit her face, she began her long strides heading for the direction of the local park.

She loved her early morning jogs. It gave her a sense of balance and tranquility. More importantly, she loved living in Seattle. She loved the way the air smelled of pine trees in the early morning. How sailboats lazily danced across the Puget Sound on a bright summer afternoon. And, on a sunny winter day, you can even see the ominous figure of Mount Baker looming over the city with its snow-covered peaks. It was such a change from the dry, desert landscape of New Mexico.

As she pushed herself to her physical limit, thoughts ruminated through her head. Up until she read the letter last night, she had not given much thought to Roswell, New Mexico. She had tried so hard to bury her painful past in the back cupboard of her mind.

‘But it wasn’t all bad,’ she mused.

~ 7 years ago ~

“Welcome, Liz! So glad you could make it.” Diane Evans hugged the petite brunette in front of her. “How is your mother?”

“She’s fine Mrs. Evans –”

“Please call me Diane.” She said smiling.

“Diane. She apologizes that she couldn’t make it but thank you for inviting me.”

“You’re very welcome but there’s no need to thank me. Come, I want you to meet someone.” Looping her arm through Liz’s, Diane strolled through the foyer and into the spacious living room. Liz curiously took in the sight before her eyes.

The room was painted a cheerful buttercup yellow with white trim. At the far end of the room, there was a large picture window that looked into the beautiful garden below. At each corner of the room were large terracotta planters containing exotic greenery. To her left was a fireplace, on top of which pictures and mementos were vying for space. To her right was an oak table littered with more family photos. Beside the table was a soft white couch, atop of which, she noticed, an older lady, who looked to be in her mid-sixties, was comfortably seated and reading.

Just as they walked into the room, the older lady looked up and smiled. “Sorry to interrupt you, Claudia, but I wanted you to meet someone. This is Elizabeth Parker, Nancy Parker’s daughter. Liz, this is Claudia Evans, Phillip’s mother.” Diane looked from Claudia to Liz.

“Pleased to meet you Mrs. Evans.” Liz smiled extending her hand.

“Oh, call me Grams.” Claudia said as shook Liz’s hand. “And it is indeed a pleasure to meet such a nice young lady.” Liz blushed.

Just then, one of the caterers entered the room and softly whispered something to Diane. “If you’ll excuse me I have to go. There seems to be a little problem in the kitchen. I will see you later, Liz.” She turned and quietly left the room.

Liz stood nervously rooted to her spot. Claudia patted the seat beside her, “why don’t you have a seat dear and tell me about yourself.”

Liz sat down and glanced shyly at Claudia. “Well, I’m nineteen. I was born and raised here in Roswell. My mother and Mrs. Eva -- I mean Diane, have been friends since college.”

“Ah, yes. I remember meeting your mother when Phillip began courting Diane. She had the most lovely auburn hair.”

Liz smiled, “yes, she does.” Picking up a strand of her hair, “I guess I took after my dad.”

“I heard that you are studying over in California.”

Liz nodded her head, “I just completed my first semester at Stanford –”

“Oh you attend Stanford!” Claudia added excitedly. “My grandson also attends Stanford. Come you should meet him.”

Claudia got up and gently pulled Liz to her feet. Liz followed Claudia out to the backyard. As she stepped out of the sliding doors, she heard music and water splashing.

“That little dolphin over there is my grandson, Max.” Chuckling, Claudia pointed over to the swimming pool.

Liz glanced over to the pool just in time to see the subject of their conversation pull himself out of the pool. She gaped as he emerged out of the water and reached to grab his towel off of one of the lounge chairs. His broad shoulders and chiseled torso glistened with droplets of water. He ran his hand through his dark wet hair and began to wipe himself off.

“Maxwell! I want you to meet someone.”

Max looked over and smiled. Liz gasped. She was shocked to see that he had the most amazing honey-coloured eyes and when he smiled, they seemed to sparkle. ‘Like champagne,’ she mused.

“Grams! When did you get here?” Max moved forward and gave his grandmother a hug.

“Dear, I’ve already taken a bath. There’s no need to give me another one.” Claudia joked.

“Sorry, Grams.”

“Oh my! Where are my manners? Maxwell, this lovely young lady here is Elizabeth Parker.”

“Nice to meet you, Elizabeth. Please call me Max.” He grinned, extending out his hand.

“Hi Max! Just call me Liz.” Liz flirtatiously smiled as she reached over and shook his hand. She was a bit puzzled at feeling a slight tingling from where their hands were connected. Little did she know that he had felt the same sensation.

Liz smiled at the memory. After running for close to an hour, she felt that her muscles have had enough of a work out for the day. She made her way through the park and headed back home.

Going for a run had been a good idea. She was able to calm the sea of thoughts storming through her mind.

Upon getting home, she stripped off her clothes and headed for the shower.

A few minutes later, dressed in her robe with a towel wrapped around her head, she emerged from the bathroom feeling more refreshed. Stepping over to the mirror, she blankly gazed at her reflection, removed the towel and gently brushed her chestnut-coloured hair.

The incessant ringing of the telephone grasped Liz’s attention.

“Hey chica! How are you this rainy Saturday morning?” The cheery voice asked.

“Hi Maria. Should I tell you the truth or what you want to hear?”

“Tell me what I want to hear.” Maria giggled.

“Well then, I am doing just excellent. The sun is shining and the birds are chirping. Life just can’t get any better.” Liz said sarcastically.

“Okay Petunia, spill.”

“Oh Maria. I don’t know what to do.” Letting out a deep breath, she continued, “I got this letter yesterday letting me know that Grandma Claudia has passed away and that I have to go back to Roswell for her funeral.”

“Oh, Lizzie. I’m so sorry. I’ll be over in an hour. Just hang tight, okay?”

“Thanks.” Liz pressed the off button on her phone, picked up a tissue, wiped away her tears and blew her nose.

[ edited 3 time(s), last at 8-Oct-2002 3:21:29 PM ]
posted on 11-Oct-2002 2:31:49 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
Thank you for all the bumps everybody! I don't mean to keep you all hanging but I just hit a brick wall with this fic. I was going to reveal what the problem was in the next 3 chapters but I was afraid that I would disappoint you all when I you find out why Liz left Max.

Now, we have a long weekend (Thanksgiving) coming up in Canada and I plan to plant myself in front of my computer and write the new part even if it kills me!!

Okay, on the good side of things, while I was suffering from writer's block, inspiration came to me and I wrote another fic! I know, I know I should finish this one before I start a new one but I couldn't help myself! It was just bugging me.

It's called Fair Elizabeth: [url=viewthread?forum=dreamer-fanfiction&id=266798] and it is based on the 1995 remake of the movie Sabrina .

So while waiting for an update on this story come check out the other one, okay.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 11-Oct-2002 2:32:45 PM ]
posted on 16-Oct-2002 1:15:35 AM by Lolita Behrbuns
I appreciate all the bumps everybody!


Chapter 3

Maria knocked on her door an hour later and enveloped Liz in a hug. Liz, grateful for a kindred spirit, clung to her and sobbed. “Sshhhh…it will be alright, sweetie. Just let it out,” Maria soothed as she smoothed a hand down her friend’s hair.

After getting a much-needed release of emotion, Liz took a deep breath and composed herself. Straightening up, she wiped her tears with her hand, “I-I’m sorry, Maria. I don’t know what came over me. Look, I’ve soaked your favorite shirt,” she said as she gazed at Maria’s shoulder.

“This ole’ thing. Don’t worry about it. Go sit yourself down and I’ll go make us some tea.”

“Thanks Maria. I really appreciate you coming over.”

“Hey, what are best friends for.”

“So, do you want to talk about it?” Maria asked as she handed Liz a mug of tea.

Liz smiled gratefully and tucked her knees to her chest. Closing her eyes, she placed her nose over her mug and inhaled the soothing steam.

“Where should I start?”

“Whatever you feel comfortable with, sweetie.” She reached out to touch Liz’s hands.

* * * *

~ 6 months after the poolside meeting ~

Liz rushed out of her dorm room and headed straight for the Student Union Building. Being in a second year student, the residence that she was assigned was on the far side of the campus, a good 10-minute walk from the S.U.B. Tugging on her backpack, she glanced at her watch – 8:15 am. She had to hurry and grab breakfast if she was going to be on time for her 8:30 lab. After grabbing a bagel, she made a mad dash across campus towards the Biology Building.

Panting, she quickly found a seat and placed her backpack on the floor. Placing her notebook on her desk and uncapping her pen, she then proceeded to devour her breakfast.

“Good morning everyone. I hope everybody had a great weekend.” Professor Mulligan entered the classroom and placed his books on the front table.

“Alright, I’m sure everyone has read Chapters 5-7 from the text and the supplementary article on bio-technology, because if you haven’t, you better get your act together and stop wasting your parent’s money.” He chuckled laughing at his own joke.

After droning on for another fifteen minutes, it was finally time to move to the CS Building. Liz got up, stuffed the remnants of her bagel into her mouth and walked out of the classroom, trailing closely behind her class.

An hour and a half and eight pages of notes later, the lecture drew to a close. Gathering her notes, she extended her arms and stretched her back. She grabbed her bag, pulled herself to her feet and exited the lab.

As she came around the corner, she collided with a hard moving object. “Hey! Watch it!” She hissed bowing down to pick up her notes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t see you,” the stranger replied.

As Liz looked up to see who the offending wall was, her eyes widened. “I know you. You’re Diane’s son! Max, right?”

“Yeah, that’s me. Have I met you before?” Max squinted his eyes trying to pinpoint where he had seen her face before.

Snapping his fingers, he exclaimed, “last summer, right? You were with my grandma. It’s Liz, isn’t it?”

Liz smiled and nodded her head in confirmation.

“Sorry about smashing into you like that. Here you go,” he handed her the rest of her notes.

“I guess I’ll see you around.” Max waved and turned to leave.

Liz waved back and continued towards the exit. A few seconds later, she heard hurried footsteps coming up behind her. Turning around, she saw Max running down the hallway towards her.

“Hey Liz, do you have a break today?” Liz nodded her head. “Do you want to go grab lunch over at the Student Union?”

She glanced at her watch. “Well…um…my next class isn’t until 1:00 …so…okay.”

“Great. I have class until 11. What do you say if I meet you at around 11:15 at the Student Union?”

“Sounds good.”

“Okay. See you then.” Max grinned and ran off to class.

An hour later, Liz packed up her books and notes and exited the library. Making her way to the Student Union, she saw that Max was sitting on the steps already waiting for her.

“Hey Max. You’re early.”

“Yeah, I got bored in class and ducked out.” He replied sheepishly.

“So what class did you skipped out of,” Liz asked while making their way to the cafeteria.

“It was just a programming class, no biggie.” Max answered handing her a tray.

“Must be nice to be a genius.” Liz joked.

“Yeah. It is.” Max blew on his fingernails and rubbed them on his shirt. Liz stared at him for a moment and they both burst out laughing.

They paid for their food and went to grab an empty table.

“…so…what year are you in?” Liz asked while pouring ketchup on her fries.

“I’m in my final year..” Max took the bottle from her and doused his own plate with the gooey red stuff. “ … then its off to the real world I go. How about you?”

“Freshman year. I have a while to go.” Liz replied.

The rest of lunch was spent talking about school and future plans – the usual college small talk. At the end, the two exchanged phone numbers and got up to head to their respective classes.

“I’ll see you later, Liz.”

“Yeah…see ya.”

Max took his tray and headed over to the garbage can. He did not notice that the napkin containing Liz’s number was sitting on top of the tray as he shook its contents into the trash.

posted on 16-Oct-2002 9:40:57 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
Dreamseeker: Thanks! You are so sweet!

Antarian Princess: Hey I remember you! You're Selena, right? I read your stories over at Dessert Dwellers and I loved it!! And since you asked, I give you another update.

Wow 2 updates in one day!!

Hi Floh!

Okay, here you go enjoy!


Chapter 4

“So, he didn’t call you after that?” Maria asked.

“No. And I didn’t see him until a couple of months later. By that time he was two months away from graduation and I had been seeing this guy named Peter.” Liz placed her mug down on the coffee table and stretched her legs. “I bumped into him while I was at the movies on a date. He apologized for not calling me, making some lame excuse that he lost my number.” She snorted.

“Um…chica…didn’t he give you his number?”

“Yeah, but he ended up moving from his apartment and couldn’t tell me because…well… you know.”

Maria mouthed an ‘oh’ and nodded her head in understanding.

“Anyways…” Liz continued, “I told him I was on a date and had to head back. This time I made sure to write my number on his arm.” She smiled at the memory. “So…he gave me a call the next day and we started hanging out.”

“But didn’t you have a boyfriend at the time?” Maria asked while fiddling with her teabag.

“Yeah, but Max and I weren’t dating. We were just hanging out as friends. It was all platonic. He was a really good friend, Maria.” Liz pulled her sweater around her and laid her head on Maria’s lap. “A really good friend.”

~ Liz’s Dorm Room ~


Liz opened the door and a pair of warm amber eyes greeted her. She desperately buried her face into his chest and cried.

“What’s wrong, Liz?” Max frantically asked as he maneuvered the two of them into her room and gently closed the door behind them. “I got here as soon as I heard your message.” He wrapped his arms around her and smoothed his hand over her hair.

“I broke up with Peter.” She hiccupped, “I caught him getting naked this slutty blonde-haired cow, so I broke up with him then and there and ran out of the room!”

“Do you want me to kick his ass for you?” Max joked looking down at her tear-stained face.

Stepping back from his arms, Liz wiped her tears with the collar of her shirt. “No…no.” She shook her head, “he’s not even worth an ass kicking.” She sighed and sat down on her bed. Silence filled the room.

“Max…do you think I’m pretty?” She asked awkwardly while staring at a seemingly interesting spot floor.

“Liz…” he whispered as he sat down beside her. Crooking his hand underneath her chin, he lifted her face up and looked into her eyes. “…I think that you are the smartest and most beautiful girl I ever met.”

She gave him a slight smile and looked away, “you’re just saying that because I’m being needy right now.”

Max sensing her discomfort got on his knees and placed his hands over hers. Moving himself into her line of vision.

“No, Liz. I wouldn’t joke about that.” He said seriously.

Liz looked at him and was awestruck by the care he expressed in his soulful eyes. Her breath hitched as she felt herself drowning in the two amber pools. Licking her lips, her eyes darted between his gorgeous eyes and his soft, luscious lips. Seconds past and neither one of them said a word. She took a breath, leaned forward and crushed her lips to his in a passionate kiss. She flicked her tongue over his lower lip asking for entrance, which he enthusiastically granted by cupping his hand behind her head and pressing her more firmly to him.

In between laboured breaths, her nimble fingers suddenly grew a mind of their own as they frantically began to unbuttoned his shirt.

Max, drunk with desire, suddenly sobered up when he realized what she was doing. Grasping her hands, he pulled back and looked at her. “Liz, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“No, Max. I really want this,” she breathed as she left a trail of hot open-mouthed kisses along his neck.

“B-but…Liz…we shouldn’t really. Your not in a state to –“

“Shhh…” she placed a finger on his lips to silence him.

Max moaned when she licked the sensitive area beneath his ear. “Are you sure?”

Liz nodded her head in assurance and pushed him back so that he was lying on the floor while she continued to unbutton his shirt kissing the trail of skin that it exposed. She suddenly stopped her ministrations only to straddle his hips while she lifted her shirt over her head revealing her soft supple breasts.

Seeing her wanton state, Max reveled at how stunning she looked. Her dark chestnut locks cascaded over beautiful face. Her lips, swollen from all of their kissing, looked plump and sensuous. Her eyes gleamed with desire as she looked down upon him.

Noticing his intense stare, Liz smiled, unzipped her jeans and tossed them over to the dresser - all in one swift motion.

Max leaned his head back when he felt her mouth inching closer and closer to the hem of his pants leaving a trail of fire in its wake.

Feeling his manhood begging for release, he grasped her hips and shifted. In an instant Liz was on her back as he fervently ravaged her body with his kisses. Liz uttered an elated moan as he captured her nipple in his mouth. He traced lazy circles with his tongue around one as he rolled the other between his fingers.

Dragging her palms over his chiseled chest, Liz played with the button on his slacks. She tugged at his pants, springing his member free from its cotton confines. Feeling bold, she grasped it and gave it a squeeze eliciting an expletive from Max.

“Make love to me, Max,” she breathed.

Upon hearing her, Max latched his lips onto hers. Their tongues playing a sensual duel as his hands caressed her body.

Liz began to grind her hips into his in that oh so familiar manner. Feeling his control slipping, Max positioned himself between her legs bracing himself on his forearms. Moans escaped both their lips as he plunged himself deep inside of her. He waited with baited breath as he adjusted to the feeling of being sheathed within her.

Liz clawed at his back as the two exchanged deep passionate kisses. All her senses were in overdrive as feelings of sinful pleasure enveloped her.

“Oh God Max!” Liz squealed, wrapping her legs around his waist as Max increased the rhythm of his thrusts.

“…Liz…oh! ...Liz!” he muffled into her hair.

“..aaahhh!” Liz arched her back as she felt the bottom drop out.

Max, feeling her walls clamp down on him as she climaxed, followed suit with his own mind-blowing release.

Satiated, the two lovers fell asleep entwined in each other’s arms begging for the morning not to come.

posted on 1-Nov-2002 7:59:46 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
Thank you for all the bumps everybody. Especially you Dreamseeker. Maybe I should hire you as my pr person!*wink*

Sorry about the delay. I was reading all these fabolous stories, Captive Hearts, The Importance of Being Elizabeth, etc. and I was being lazy. So I finally sat down at my pc today and wrote this next part. Here you go.

~Previously on To Keep From Loving You ~

Liz clawed at his back as the two exchanged deep passionate kisses. All her senses were in overdrive as feelings of sinful pleasure enveloped her.

“Oh God Max!” Liz squealed, wrapping her legs around his waist as Max increased the rhythm of his thrusts.

“…Liz…oh! ...Liz!” he muffled into her hair.

“..aaahhh!” Liz arched her back as she felt the bottom drop out.

Max, feeling her walls clamp down on him as she climaxed, followed suit with his own mind-blowing release.

Satiated, the two lovers fell asleep entwined in each other’s arms begging for the morning not to come.


Chapter 5

“That doesn’t sound so awful, Liz,” said Maria.

“You’re right Maria, that was the great part. The painful part was when I woke up the next morning I found that he had left. I thought it might as well be. It never should have happened in the first place. He was just being a friend and comforting me and I took advantage of him.” Silent tears rolled down Liz’s cheek.

“Oh Liz,” Maria gently stroked her hair. “You didn’t force him into anything. He was a consenting adult. It’s over now.”

“No, Maria, its not.”

“What do you mean?” Maria asked confusion hinted in her tone.

“We were driven by lust. We were stupid and careless. We didn’t think….”

“Oh!” Maria exclaimed as realization dawned on her. “You mean…you didn’t…you forgot…you became…”

Liz sat up and looked at Maria with damp eyes. Slowly she nodded and head and swallowed. “I got pregnant.”

A couple of hours and a box of tissues later, Liz felt well enough to prepare for her trip back home. She began to pack shortly after Maria left. It had been a tough morning for her. Reminiscing about the past had left her emotionally exhausted. Maria had been a great friend, lending her a shoulder to cry on. She did not push when Liz had stated that she did not want to talk about her past anymore. She couldn’t. It was still too painful.

Liz walked over to her bed and slumped to the floor. Leaning her head back on the bed she let out a deep, long sigh. How could she have made a mess of her life? She was tired. Tired of running. Tired of trying to forget. It was time to face her past.

* * *

After breakfast, Max hopped in his BMW convertible and drove downtown to his office. He wanted to get some work done before he had to leave for his trip. However, that was not the only reason he wanted to work. Work kept him busy and when he was busy his mind was focused at the task at hand. It left little time for…remembering.

Pulling up to the underground parkade, he noticed that there was only one other car present. He knew that that car belonged to Mr. Jenkins the weekend security guard. Max was glad for the solitude. He was craving it. Usually, on Saturdays there would still be a few employees working. They were mostly the analysts and researchers working on the latest software project.

Walking in the elevator, he swiped his key card in the panel and pressed the button for the 15th floor.

Walking through the empty office, he felt a sense of calmness. He was truly in his element. His work had always been his security blanket. It gave him comfort and piece of mind. The growth that their company had achieved in the short time that it had been in operation made him proud.

Entering his office, he placed his briefcase on his desk and sat down. He booted up his computer and proceeded to check his email.

Two hours later, Max began to feel fatigued. Resting his elbows on his desk, he closed his eyes and began to rub his temples in a circular motion. He felt exhausted. All of the previous day’s events had finally caught up with him.

Blowing out a deep breath, he got up off his chair and shuffled to the window. He dug one hand in the pocket of his jeans while the other ruffled his hair absent-mindedly. He looked down to the traffic and the people below. His life was so simple before…before two little words changed his life.

“She’s pregnant.”

“She’s what!” Max exclaimed.

“Liz is pregnant, Max!” Phillip yelled at his son. He had just gotten off the phone with Jeffrey Parker who had angrily informed him that his daughter was pregnant and that his son, Max, was the father.

“How could you have been so stupid! You’re twenty-two years old! You’re an adult!” Philip added, “You should have known better!”

“Oh God!” Max needed to sit down. His legs felt weak and his whole body trembled. He couldn’t believe it. How could he have been so careless! After his one night stand with Liz, he had called her the following afternoon. The conversation had been awkward to say the least. Both had profusely apologized to each other about what had transpired between them the previous night. They both came to the conclusion that it was nothing more than a mistake. That they should just forget about it and move on. So they did. He had not heard from Liz, nor did he make any attempts to call her. Max had graduated from school and came home for the summer.

“What am I going to do?” Max whispered his head cradled between his hands.

Philip glared down at his son. “You, Maxwell Evans, are going to do the right thing. You are going to marry Elizabeth Parker.”

Liz sat dejectedly on the couch. On the other side of the room, her mother cried onto her father’s shoulder and as he stoked her back for comfort. Jeffrey glanced up at his daughter. With his lips pursed he slowly shook his head, disappointment clearly showing on his face. Liz’s shoulders slumped and she looked down on the floor.

Jeffery had just gotten off the phone with Phillip Evans, Max’s father. The conversation was quick and to the point. After Jeff hung up the phone, Nancy began sobbing uncontrollably.

“I’m sorry Mom…Dad,” Liz spoke softly. She could not muster the courage to lift her head to look up at her parents.

“Elizabeth! How could you!” Her mother looked at her through tear-filled eyes. “I thought we taught you better! God! What am I going to tell our friends?!”

Liz had finally told her parents about her pregnancy. Immediately upon which, they told her that she must get rid of it. They said that it would reflect poorly upon the family for their only daughter to have a child out of wedlock, but Liz stood her ground and insisted that she wanted to keep the baby. This generated more yelling from her father and even more wailing from her mother. Then, her father had asked her who the man responsible for her current state was. Liz insisted that it did not matter, it was her child and she will raise it alone. Jeffery hovered over his daughter and stressed his authority over her until Liz finally relented and reluctantly told them the name of the baby’s father, which prompted Jeffrey’s call to Phillip Evans. Now all Liz could do was wait.

It had taken her three months to gather up the nerve to tell her parents. She had contemplated on how she was going to raise the baby and decided that it was possible to do it on her own. Her parents were well off and they had given her a trust fund which she gained access to when she had turned eighteen. She could take a year and a half off at school to raise her child and resume studies again the following fall. Moreover, the university had excellent child care facilities. So, with that information in mind, she broke the news to her parents.

Liz squirmed in her seat. The New Mexico heat compounded with the current stressful situation was stifling her. She suddenly felt very ill. She clutched at her stomach and wiped the sweat off her brow. Suddenly, she bolted up, covered her mouth with her hand and ran out of the living room. Running down the hallway she could hear her father yelling for her to come back. She stumbled into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She dropped to her knees in front of the toilet and retched.

* * *

Max shook himself out of his reverie. Rehashing the past was not going to do him any good now. What’s done is done. Nothing can change it.

He walked back to his desk and sat down. His past had finally caught up with him. After five years, he finally had to face the skeletons that he had so desperately tried to forget.

That evening, as Max lay in bed contemplating his trip home. He thought about his family, about what they would say to him when he finally sees them after all these years. He thought about Grandma Claudia. How he never got to say goodbye. But most of all, he thought about the hole in his heart and if it would ever heal. Little did he know that a little further north, a dark-haired beauty was lying in her bed thinking the same thing.

[ edited 4 time(s), last at 1-Nov-2002 8:03:43 PM ]
posted on 19-Nov-2002 12:38:25 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
Sorry about the long wait guys.*sad* I just recently moved away from the parental units for the first time and I am still adjusting. Also, right now I am inspired to update Fair Elizabeth because it is a much happier story. (Not as much angst as this fic). I promise I won't forget this one but just bear with me for while, please.

Dreamseeker: Thank you very much for continually bumping this fic. The next chapter will be dedicated to you for your undying endurance!!*wink**big*
posted on 4-Dec-2002 4:44:52 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
Thank you so much everyone for all the bumps!!! I really appreciate it!! It warms my heart that no one has forgotten this fic, unlike my other fic Fair Elizabeth *sad*. It was so forgotten that it ended up disappearing from the boards altogether and the bad thing is - I dont have it saved on my hard drive anymore! I reformatted and it got erased! Well it must be a sign. I guess I was really meant to work on this fic after all! *happy*

Okay as a treat for my faithful bumps I shall give you guys a peek at my little directory of art. Its what I’ve been doing instead of writing. *big* My bad!


I'm trying to create a website but I don't know how to work with html. *tongue*
posted on 9-Dec-2002 2:51:32 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
posted on 14-Dec-2002 10:39:42 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
Hi guys I'm back!!! Sorry for the long wait. My creativity has been stagnant lately. It's switched to the visual mode instead of the diction mode. The good news is I'm painting again!! The bad news is, my updates are few and far in between. But I promise that I will keep trying. *big*

So thank you for sticking with my fic and Dreamseeker this is dedicated to you. *wink*


Chapter 6

She desperately needed to get some air. She rolled the car window to let the cold fall wind whip at her face. Another fight! They had yet another fight! When will it ever end? As hot tears streamed down her cheeks, she gripped the wheel until her knuckles were almost white. Suddenly, intense pain shot through her body like lightning! Looking down, she noticed that a small trail of blood was slowly creeping down her leg. Looking up, all she saw were bright headlights coming towards her, and then darkness enveloped her.

Liz was jolted awake and her breath came out in heavy gasps. It had only been a dream. “Excuse me, m’am, are you okay,” asked the flight attendant. Liz looked up at her and could only nod her head. As she was about to walk away, Liz gently grabbed her wrist, “may I have a glass of water, please,” she implored. When the flight attendant gave her a small smile and walked away, Liz slumped in her seat. Taking a deep breath she began to compose herself. When the attendant came back with her water, Liz gave her a grateful smile and gulped down her drink. Her mouth felt like cotton and she was beginning to get agitated. A few minutes later the seatbelt sign came on indicating that they were going to land in Albuquerque soon. Liz’s emotions had run amuck. She was nervous about the prospect of seeing her family, her parents whom she had not seen for five years. However, her nervousness about her parents did not compare to the anxiety she felt over the prospect of seeing him again. Years have passed but the wound was still fresh.

As the plane taxied down the runway, Max Evans checked his watch. It would be a couple of hours drive to Roswell from the airport in Albuquerque. Being the systematic guy that he was he ran through the logistics of his trip back home in his mind. However, try as he might, he could not escape the feelings of guilt that washed over him. Not once had he called his Grandmother to apologize for his poor behaviour the last time he saw her. He had been too full of pride to do so. Now, he will never have the chance to atone for his mistake.

A few minutes later, Max was making his way towards the luggage carousel to claim his bags. Digging his cell phone out from his pocket, he began dialing.


“Hello, Isabel.”

“Who is this?” Isabel asked.

“It’s your brother.” Max answered dryly.

“M-Max is that you?” Isabel stuttered out.

“Yes, it’s me. I’m at the airport in Albuquerque. I’m on my way home.” Home that sounded very strange to say about Roswell, Max thought.

“I take it you received Mr. Robinson’s letter,” Isabel responded icily. Isabel could not believe her ears. The prodigal son has come home. “Will you be staying long?” She asked masking her voice of any emotion.

“No. I’ll be leaving Tuesday next week following the reading of the will.”

“I see…well I’ll see you at the funeral,” and with that, Isabel hung up.

Upon hearing that Isabel hang up on the other line, Max stared at his cell phone disbelievingly. Had Isabel really done that? Had she actually given him the cold shoulder? Well, it was to be expected. He had not had any contact with any of his family for the past five years. What must his family think of him? Not only will they be grieving for their beloved matriarch, Claudia Evans, but their emotions will also be compounded by the arrival of their wayward son who will no doubt bring skeletons back out of the closet.

Max shook his head. He had to stop dwelling on the past. He was here to pay his respect to his grandmother and to help his family in their time of grief. After all, they had tried to do the same for him. Spotting his luggage, he reached over and grabbed it, pulled the handle up and proceeded to wheel it towards the Budget Rental Car kiosk. As he turned, he missed almost bumping into the petite brunette who was reaching over the luggage carousel behind him.

After Liz had claimed her bags and piled them on her luggage cart, she made her way over to the pay phones. She had promised Maria that she would call her the minute her plane had landed. After two rings, a seriously grumpy male voice answered.

“Hello,” came the irritable reply.

“Hey Michael, it’s me Liz. Did I wake you up?”

“Uh…yeah….but don’t worry about it. You wanna speak to Maria?”

“Please. Is she around?”

“Yeah, she’s in the kitchen. She has today off.”

“Thanks Michael. How are you feeling anyways? Is your throat still hurting?”

“Always the doctor,” he bantered jokingly. “I’m feeling a lot better. Having a nurse for a wife always helps,” he laughingly added. “Hang on a sec, I’ll get her for ya.” Liz could hear his muffled voice calling to Maria.

“Hi Liz! How was your flight?”

“Oh it was pretty boring. So you got the night off, huh. Who’d you bribe?” Liz teased. For the past few weeks Maria had been stuck doing the graveyard shifts at the hospital. She had talked Liz’s ear off about it.

“Well, I’ve got my ways.” The two friends shared a laugh before the conversation turned serious. “Really, Liz, are you okay?” Maria asked concern etched in her voice.

“I’m all right, Maria. It’s going to be hard. I haven’t even called my folks yet. I don’t even know if they’ll be going to Grandma Claudia’s funeral.”

“Geez, Liz, what did you plan to do? Just show up on their porch and say ‘hi Mom and Dad, I’m back! Oh and sorry about the past six years,’” Maria said sarcastically.

“Well, I thought that sounded like a plan,” Liz joked.

“Liz…,” Maria interjected, but before she could continue, Liz interrupted, “Ria, I have to go. I still have to go get my rental car. I just wanted to call and let you know I made it to New Mexico in one piece.” Liz knew how much Maria hated to fly.

“Okay, chica. Call me when you get settled in okay,” Maria worried like a mother hen.

“Okay. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” Liz knew that she couldn’t avoid the issue at hand. However, she was not quite ready to talk about it then and there. She had to muster up any courage and determination she had to get through the next two weeks. Liz hung up the phone and wheeled her luggage over to the rental car kiosk.

As Max opened the trunk of his rental SUV and began to load his bags. It would be a two-hour drive to Roswell. Suddenly, he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Caught unsuspected by the strange sensation, he straightened up his back and wrinkled his brow. He craned his neck sideways and scanned the exit doors. Seeing nothing unusual, he chalked it up to nervousness and finished loading his bags.

[ edited 3 time(s), last at 26-Dec-2002 1:12:58 AM ]
posted on 14-Dec-2002 11:04:54 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
Hey there you two! Thanks for the fb.

Sugarplum how do I change the color of my fonts? Like in your siggy.
posted on 15-Dec-2002 12:42:42 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
Angel99: No they weren't on the same plane. Max is coming from California and Liz is coming from Washington State. And no, my writer's block isn't over. Writing that chapter was like pulling teeth. I wanted to make it exciting but it didn't quite come out like planned.

Begonia: No need to be sorry. I understand. You're right about Liz and Max's relationship. That was why I wrote the sex part the way I did. I wanted it to look hurried and unplanned not at all romantic. And you're pretty much on the same page with your assessment. *wink**big*

Floh: I'm so glad to see over on this thread *big*.
posted on 18-Dec-2002 1:33:18 AM by Lolita Behrbuns
Okay, I worked so hard and managed to squeeze another part out! As always, feedback is most definitely welcomed!

Thanks for all the bumps everybody! I really appreciate it.


Chapter 7

Liz stopped the car and killed the engine. For a moment she sat there, staring blankly into space. Slowly, she turned her head and glanced out her window towards the terracotta coloured-house with the ornate wrought iron fence. She had forgotten how beautiful the house was. Sitting there in her slowly cooling car, she remembered childhood days spent frolicking around the property with her friends pretending that she was Zorro and was coming to save them from the evil Don Alejandro, which her friend, Ava, played with glee! Oh what fun they had had! Liz always loved playing the hero. She always wanted to be the courageous character and battle the evil-doers. ‘How ironic,’ she thought. All those years of years of playing hero and here she was cowering under pressure. Mustering up her resolve, she took a deep breath and opened the car door. Slowly, she made her way across the street to the house that held so many memories.

Stepping up to the door, she glanced around and hesitantly raised her fist and knocked. She waited with baited breath, knowing that she had to do this. Soon enough, she could hear a light laughter approaching from the other side of the door. Suddenly, the door was opened and there she stood face to face with Nancy Parker.

“Oh my God!” Nancy exclaimed dropping the phone that was in her hand and covering her mouth. Liz, a timid smile grazing her lips, looked up at her mother and said softly, “Hi Mom.”

Nancy stood at the doorway staring in disbelief at the site that greeted her eyes. It was her baby girl. However, she was no longer a baby. She had grown into a beautiful woman who stood proud and confident. With tears brimming in her eyes, she enveloped Liz in a tight, maternal, protective embrace. Liz, taken aback by the gesture, stood stiffly, her eyes widening. However, she soon returned her mother’s gesture and tears started to cascade down her cheeks. “Oh mom! I-I’m s-so sorry,” she stuttered. Nancy slightly pulled Liz back so she could look at her. “My God, Liz! There is so much I want to say,” she said between happy sobs, “but none of that matter right now. All I know is that I’ve missed you and I’m so glad to have you back!” Again, she crushed her daughter to her in another hug. “Oh dear, look at us,” Nancy smiled and wiped at her tears and her daughter’s, “you better come in before the neighbours start wondering if we’ve gone crazy,” she joked as she picked up the discarded phone.

Liz stepped inside. It felt slightly strange that she felt hesitant about entering the home where she had spent her wonder years. She did not think that she would receive this type of reception from her mother. After all that she had put her parents through, she had expected yelling and things to be thrown but instead she had received a loving welcome from her mother. ‘Well, there’s still daddy’, she thought dreadfully.

Nancy watched as her daughter entered her home and glanced around. She could not believe that Elizabeth Anne Parker was standing there in front of her very own eyes. When Liz had left, it had felt like a slap to the face. At first she had been hurt and angry, but that pain had gradually left and had turned into an ache she felt deep within her heart. After all, Liz was her only child. They had been very close as Liz was growing up. However, that closeness faded when Liz had come home announcing that she was pregnant. Nancy had felt very disappointed with her daughter. She had such high hopes for her. She knew how hard it was to raise a child alone. Her very own mother had been a single mother. She had to raise three children by herself when Nancy’s father died. She did not want Liz to experience the same struggle.

As Liz made her way to the living room, she had noticed that her mother had a far off look in her eyes. Worriedly, she approached Nancy and gently touched her shoulder. “Mom, are you all right?” She asked. Nancy snapped out of her thoughts when she heard her daughter’s worried tone. “Oh, I’m sorry sweetheart,” she replied. Wanting to change the subject she added, “I think your father should be home soon. He said that he was leaving the office early today. Just have a seat while I go get us something to drink.” Nancy smiled at her daughter and headed for the kitchen.

* * * *

Max entered his hotel room and placed his suitcase by the dresser. Walking over to the bed, he flipped open his cell phone and dialed.

“Hey Janine, it’s Max. Is Alex there?”

“Hi Max! Yes, he is. He’s just finished meeting with some of the programmers he’ll be right out….oh wait! He’s right here.”

Max could hear some rustling on the other end of the line. A couple of seconds later, Alex picked up.

“Hey Max! How’s it going?” Alex cheerfully piped.

“Hey Alex. What was the meeting about? Was there a problem with the test? I read the figures on Friday and made some corrections but if –”

“Whoa there, Max!” Alex interrupted. “There was no problem. Everything is flowing along nicely. I just wanted to touch base with the researchers and programmers to see if we could bump up the launch date. From the looks of it, that may be a possibility.” Max could hear the joy in Alex’s voice, which in turn made him smile. He was happy for Alex. After all, this was his pet project. He was the one who came up with the idea and Max just assisted him with the development.

“That’s great Alex! I’m glad to hear that.”

“Well, enough about work. How are you doing?” Alex’s tone turned concerned. He knew that Max must be having a tough time in Roswell. After all he had been extremely anxious since he received that letter.

Running a hand through his dark mane, Max sighed, “I guess I’m as well as can be expected.”

“Max, if you want a friend to lean on, you know all you have to do is give me a ring and I’ll be on the first flight to Roswell.”

“Thanks Alex. I might just take you up on your offer.” Max tried to keep his tone light. He did not want to burden Alex with his problems.

“I know how hard it can be to lose a family member,” Alex said consolingly. “If you need anything just call, okay,” he added.

“Okay. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” He flipped his phone closed and laid back on the bed. Alex had always been a good friend to him. When he had gone back to California to start anew, Alex had befriended him. He never pried or nosed around Max’s past. Alex had an easy and carefree attitude, which was exactly what Max needed. He needed to forget about his problems and move on with his life. With that thought in mind, Max got up from the bed, grabbed his keys and left his room. He needed to clear his head and a drive just might help.

Max drove around Roswell for hours. He drove by his old high school, he passed the Crashdown Café, where he and his friends spent their teenage years. He even drove past the UFO Centre where he worked during one summer as a tour guide. He smiled at all the memories these places had stirred up. It was not until he stopped by the park that his mood turned melancholy. From the corner of his eye he noticed a father pushing his daughter on a swing, as the young girl shouted “higher daddy!” in between her giggles. That had been the breaking point for Max. He never expected that he would be this upset at the sight of a parent happily playing with his child. After witnessing such, he had driven mindlessly around town until he found himself where he was now. Tensely, he raised his hand and rang the doorbell.

The door suddenly opened and Isabel gasped, “Max?!” Max could not answer. He stood there on her porch, hands nervously tucked in his pockets as he valiantly tried to keep his tears from pouring out.

Isabel was surprised at her brother’s sudden appearance. She had known he was in town; after all he had called her a few hours ago. However, seeing him standing on her porch with his lip quivering and his amber eyes full of sorrow and regret, her sisterly instincts took over and she pulled him to her for a hug.

Max, grateful for his sister’s understanding, held onto her like a life preserver. The emotional dam he had built up over the years had cracked. All the grief, guilt, and sadness that he felt suddenly came flooding out.

Isabel rubbed her hand soothingly down her brother’s back. She whispered words of comfort to him until his sobs subsided. She gently broke their embrace and guided him inside her house. Taking a deep breath, she wiped her own tears and softly closed the door. They had a lot to talk about.

posted on 26-Dec-2002 1:04:18 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
Hi everyone!! Happy Boxing Day to all!! I'm trying really hard to resist the temptation of the Boxing Day sales but its really hard!

Anyhow, here is a new part. Oh and remember to feed my addiction. Please leave feedback. You wouldn't want me to get the shakes now, do ya?! LoL! *big**tongue*


Chapter 8

Isabel placed the glass of water on the kitchen table and looked at her brother. Max gave her a small, grateful smile and picked it up. However, instead of drinking it, he clasped both his hands on the glass and stared blankly at the crystalline liquid.

Isabel was the one who spoke first. “I’m glad you came home, Max.” She reached out and placed her hand on top of his.

The moment Max felt his sister’s touch, he stopped his fidgeting and looked up at her with glistening eyes.

Isabel, sensing that he wasn’t quite ready to speak, continued, “we’ve missed you. I’ve missed you,” she added softly.

Forcing past the lump in his throat, Max replied, “I’ve missed you too, Isabel.”

Isabel wiped at her tears and squeezed his hand. “Where are you staying?”

“I’m staying at the Hampton Suites,” he replied.

Isabel nodded her head. She was going to invite him to stay with her but she was still a little angry at him for the things that he had done. After all, Liz had been her friend. She witnessed firsthand the difficulties Liz had with Max and the anguish she went through when she lost the baby.

A minute passed before Max spoke again. “Are mom and dad okay?” he questioned timidly.

“Mom is doing okay, but dad is very upset. And you know how he gets when he is upset.”

‘Yeah, I know,’ Max thought bitterly.

“He has been stoic. He’s pretty much shut everyone out. He’s been making all the funeral arrangements, acting like its some sort of business transaction.

“I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, eh,” she snorted.

At her comment, Max’s head shot up and he looked at her with his eyes full of hurt.

Isabel shrugged her shoulders. “I’m sorry Max, but what did you expect. I remember you acted the same way six years ago.”

Max bowed his head in shame. Isabel was right. He acted just like his father when his child passed away. What could he do? He was raised to believe that men did not show their emotions in public. It made them weak. As a lawyer and later a businessman, Philip was successful because he exercised that philosophy. He expected his son to do the same.

He did remember, with uncanny clarity, that day almost six years ago….

”I’m sorry Mr. Evans, but the baby didn’t make it. Your wife had sustained too many injuries and by the time the paramedics reached her, she had been hemorrhaging quite badly.” Max nodded his head as the doctor looked at him with sympathy. The doctor finished his spiel and once again expressed his condolences before walking away to check on his other patients, finally leaving Max alone. He nervously pushed open the door to room 310 afraid as to what he might see there.

Slowly, the hospital bed came into view, atop it laid Liz. She had monitors and tubes hooked up to her and her arm was in a cast. In the eerie silence of the room, all you could hear was the steady beeping EKG monitor and the incessant hissing of the oxygen tube. As his gaze landed upon her face, a pang of guilt shot through him. What if her losing the baby had been his fault? They had been fighting earlier. She had accused him of being unfaithful. In retaliation, he had called her a spoiled trust fund brat and a manipulative bitch that had trapped him into a false marriage. The minute those words came out of his mouth he instantly regretted it. He had been angry and scared at the prospect of marriage and impending parenthood. In his recklessness, he had lashed out at her with his mean and spiteful words. However, just as he was about to mutter his apology, Liz called him a selfish asshole and stormed out the door. The next thing he heard was the peeling of tires in the driveway.

As he continued looking at her beautiful face that was now marred with a bandaged gash and angry bruises, he began to sob. They had just lost their child and Liz was in critical condition. What would he do if he lost Liz too? Just as the despairing thought entered his head, a hand gently touched his shoulder. It was Isabel. He had called her shortly after he arrived at the hospital.

“Thanks for coming, Isabel,” Max said turning to face her.

Isabel nodded, “you’re my brother and she’s my friend.”

Wiping his tears with the heels of his hands, Max said somberly, “Isabel, you should know….the baby didn’t make it.”

Isabel looked at him with shock as tears welled in her brown eyes, “Oh God! I’m sorry Max. I’m so, so sorry,” she said shaking her head. She reached out to offer him a hug but Max laid his hand on her shoulder thus halting her movement. “I’ll be alright, Isabel. It’s Liz you should be worried about,” he stated. “Thanks for coming,” he added as he walked out the door.

Isabel felt her throat constrict as her gaze wandered over to the bed. Liz looked so tiny and lost amidst all the medical equipment that was attached to her. Pulling up a chair beside the bed, she grasped Liz’s hand and said a silent prayer.

The following morning, Max walked into the hospital room and saw that his sister had fallen asleep with her head resting on Liz’s hospital bed as she grasped her hand. He walked over to the bedside table to place the coffee that he had brought with him.

Suddenly, he was alerted by incoherent mumbling that was coming from Liz. As he approached her, the ramblings became clearer and louder until he heard the one word that stood out the most, “No!” Isabel was jarred awake by the sudden sounds that infiltrated the room. Seating herself on the side of the bed, she began stroking Liz’s hair back and whispering soothing words. Liz’s eyes fluttered open. The sudden light that assaulted her eyes momentarily blinded her. She was disoriented. She knew that she was not in her bedroom. The sounds and smell she heard and smelt, was not familiar at all. Suddenly sensing that someone was holding her, she slowly eased her eyes open and looked around the room. She glanced at Isabel who was looking at her with sympathy. She then shifted her gaze over to her husband who standing over her with his hands in his pockets trying desperately to avoid her scrutiny.

She began to speak but her voice came out hoarse and broken. “What’s going on?” she asked. Her throat felt like she had swallowed shards of glass. Confused, she squeezed Isabel’s hand and looked at her questioningly. Isabel, in turn, expectantly looked up at Max.

“Liz, you were in an accident. You were hurt badly. The baby did not survive. It wasn’t developed enough that they could have saved it.” He stood stoically. He did not attempt to move a muscle for fear of breaking down from the grief and guilt that he felt.

Isabel’s brow furrowed. She could not believe her brother just stood there not even attempting to comfort his wife who was now sobbing hysterically on her shoulder. Isabel hugged Liz tightly as she stared at her brother with contempt.

Max feeling hostility from Isabel, quickly shuffled his way out of the room. Once the door was closed, he ran down the hallway and down the stairs. Once he reached the parking lot, he completely broke down.

Rubbing his temples, Max looked at Isabel. “I’m sorry Iz. I just didn’t know how to deal with it, you know?”

“It’s not me you should be apologizing to, Max,” Isabel sternly replied. “Did you even tell Liz how you felt?” She added.

Max shook his head in reply. Isabel heaved a sigh. “Oh Max. So much wasted time.”

“Iz, will you come with me to Mom and Dad’s?” He really was not looking forward to facing his parents. He was not sure how they would react to seeing him again after all these years.

“I will but you have to be honest with them. You might now like how they will react but it has to be done.” Isabel advised.

He gave his sister a tense smile and thanked her. He was glad to have someone there to support him. Isabel was right. So much time has been wasted. It was now time to right his wrongs and face his past.

(p.s. Y'all can thank Flohmac for this part. She managed to crack that whip. Thanks Flohwy-lieb )

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 27-Dec-2002 3:35:40 PM ]
posted on 27-Dec-2002 12:21:20 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
posted on 1-Feb-2003 2:15:53 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
In Memoriam

posted on 19-Feb-2003 8:44:08 PM by Lolita Behrbuns
Authors Note: After a long hiatus I'm back!! So sorry to keep everyone waiting.

Dreamseeker, Floh, Gal (happy belated b-day by the way *wink* ), Frenchkiss70, and everybody else THANK YOU from the very bottom of my heart for keeping this story afloat with all of your bumps and feedback. Just to let you know that I won't update this fic again until we move to the new server (which is in a week).


Chapter 9

Liz turned on the tap and splashed some cold water onto her face. Looking up, she braced her hands on the marble top and stared at her wet reflection. Funny, she never noticed before how much her face had changed since she last set foot in this house. Back then, she had been young and foolish, but not anymore. Over the years, she had matured and become a headstrong woman.

She reached for the towel and dried her face. When her father arrived home, he was flabbergasted when he walked into the kitchen and saw none other than his daughter, Elizabeth Parker, sitting at the kitchen counter having a light-hearted conversation with his wife. For a moment Jeff felt like he was catapulted back through time when the same scene had occurred but Liz had only been ten years old and was baking cookies with her mother.

Clearing his throat, both Parker women looked up. Nancy smiled and Liz took a deep intake of breath. She opened her mouth to say something to her father but nothing came out. Jeff was the first to break the silence. “Elizabeth, Parkers do not hang their jaws open like hippos,” he said with a hint of amusement in his voice. He dropped his briefcase to the floor and opened his arms to welcome his daughter home. Liz gladly threw herself into his embrace, holding onto him as if he were a life preserver. Jeff gave his daughter a squeeze and placed a loving kiss on her temple. Liz pulled back and glanced at her father with her tear-filled eyes. He had aged a lot since she last saw him. His jet black hair was now peppered with gray and his eyes….his eyes looked forlorn and tired.

“I’m so sorry, daddy,” said Liz. “I’m so sorry to have disappointed you. Please forgive me.”

“Oh Lizzie,” Jeff whispered and crushed his daughter to him. Raising his eyes, he glanced at his wife who was holding her hand over her mouth trying to hold back her tears of joy.

That had been an hour ago and Liz’s heart was still singing with joy! Never in her dreams would she have thought that her reunion with her parents would go this well. They seemed to have put the past behind them and were ready to move on.

Placing the towel back on the rack, she reached for the door knob and eased open the bathroom door. When she finally entered the kitchen, she was surprised that her mother was literally cooking dinner!

“Mom! What are you doing?” she asked.

“Why cooking dinner, of course,” Nancy answered nonchalantly.

Upon reaching her father, she whispered, “When did that start?”

Jeff merely smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

“I’ll have you know that I do know how to cook. It’s just that I never wanted to before,” Nancy replied waiving the spatula in the air for emphasis. She cocked her head to the side and smiled at her daughter. Liz gratefully smiled in return, loving the light-hearted banter with her family.

Easing herself onto a stool, she took a deep breath when she remembered what the reason was for her sudden appearance in Roswell. “Mom, Daddy, I don’t know if you know….but Grandma Claudia passed away,” she informed them somberly.

Jeff turned and looked at his daughter. “We know Lizzie. She was a great lady and she will be sorely missed,” he said as he reached his hand and placed it over hers. With her head bowed, Liz nodded, “yeah, I’ll miss her a lot.”

Upon hearing her daughter’s sad tone, Nancy placed the spatula down and made her way over to her daughter. “We will all miss her, sweetie,” she said as she placed hand on Liz’s head soothingly smoothing back her hair.

* * * *

Isabel turned the key and opened the door. Peering around, she called, “Mom….Dad? Is anybody home?”

Leaning close to his sister, Max whispered, “What happened to the housekeeper?” Isabel merely shrugged her shoulders in reply.

As the two of them walked around the house searching for their parents, Max began to notice how lonely the house looked. The late afternoon sunlight filtering through the windows gave the house a melancholy atmosphere and not a sound could be heard other than the clicking of Isabel’s boots and the persistent ticking of the grandfather clock.

“Max, why don’t you go look in the kitchen while I go upstairs and check the rooms?” Isabel suggested. Max nodded and made his way towards the kitchen.

He began to feel a little disconcerted when he found the kitchen to be empty. Usually at this time the cook would be preparing tonight’s dinner as his mother fluttered about chatting up a storm. However, as he turned around to fetch his sister, he caught a slight movement from the corner of his eye.

Diane sat in the solarium lost in a sea of memories and family albums. Ever since Claudia passed away late last week, Phillip had immersed himself in his work and funeral arrangements and Isabel was getting on with her own life, leaving her alone to mourn the loss of a wonderful woman.

Glancing down at the album, she traced a picture of Max and Isabel when they had been seven years old. It was the summer they had gone camping up at Frazier Woods and both had just lost their front tooth. Isabel was grinning crazily while Max gave a small smile too embarrassed to show his teeth (or lack thereof). Diane smiled and heaved a heavy sigh. She really missed her little Max. He had been a kind, caring, sensitive boy when he was growing up but Phillip did not believe that sensitivity was a trait that men should openly exhibit, and he made sure that Max knew that.

Diane was so enraptured in her happy memories that she hardly noticed when Max silently approached her. It was only when he cleared his throat that she lifted her tear-filled eyes to his face.

“Hello Max” Diane greeted in a flat tone.

“Hi Mom,” replied Max giving her a bittersweet smile.

“I’m glad you came by,” she gave him a small smile but Max could see that it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Max bent down and reached for her hand. As soon as contact was made, Diane placed her other hand down upon his as her tears gently fell onto their clasped hands.

“I’m so sorry, Mom,” said Max as he blinked back his tears. “I’m sorry for not being here for you. I’m sorry I never got to say goodbye to Grams. I’m sorry for leaving things the way they were. Most of all I’m sorry that I disappointed you and Dad,” and with that heartfelt apology Max felt his walls crumble and slumped down onto the floor beside his mother and began sobbing.

Diane felt her heart constrict at the sight of her son crying. He had always been a strong boy. Seeing him like this was just too much. She could no longer be angry at him for she knew that his shoulders were heavy with guilt and regret. She tentatively placed her hand on his hair and began to run it down his hair soothingly just as she did when he was a little boy.

The instant Max felt his mother’s touch, he looked up to see her looking at him with eyes filled, not with anger and resentment but, with love and forgiveness.