|posted on 15-Oct-2002 9:33:07 AM by bel_83|
|Title: Putting the US back in TR__T|
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the characters, not the songs all credit goes Melinda Metz, Jason Katims and UPN, and the brilliant bands who perform the songs used
Summary:Following End Of the World. I'm not to sure about this fic. I don't think I like it very much. great rap I'm giving myself. But give it a go. Alot of songs are used. They remind me of the characters. I'm posting because I'm excited ROSWELL is back on fee to air tv in Australia as of this THURSDAY and im cheering.
In memeory to all of those who lost their lives in Bali. 12th October, 2002. So many innocent lives lost, so many innocent lives to fight for. Nothing will be in vain. Australia and the world will remember you.
So many times I’ve been lost and lonely, wondering why all the pain, Why did I have to go through this all alone? Why couldn’t I tell him I loved him, I still love him. And he doesn’t even know! He doesn’t know how I gave up everything that ever meant anything to me, for him. The pain and torture I’m going through is doubled watching him go through the same pain, the same torture. He thinks he’s alone. He’s not. I sacrificed my world for the entire world, and I would give almost anything to gaze into his eyes and see love, see trust.
But I know all things come at a cost, for goodness sake my relationship with him would have cost the world! I know the cost this time was his love for me. I sacrificed it, no I did more than that I crucified it. Will he ever look at me the same again? With undying love, trust. TRUST. It is a funny word. I mean future Max himself told me I had to do this. Told me to trust him. And now present day Max, my Max, can’t even trust me. It’s ironic how things work out. Trust is the greatest thing between two people. I wonder, will he ever trust me again? If only there was another way, if only there was a way for us to be together and not sacrifice the world. There are so many if onlys, but I can only come back to one; If only he still loved me.
That right there however, is what allowed the future to change, he fell out of love with me. Now my heart is broken in two; one half, the half that was, is, for him only, is dead. It cannot be revived without his love. And the other half, it only just lives. It lives for my friends, my family. I know they would fall apart if anything ever happened to me. Sometimes I think I might be better off alone, running away and leaving them be. They wouldn’t have to worry about me than. I know that’s irrational though. They’d only worry about me more. The more I think about it, the more I realize, me and him, we’re stronger together. Somehow our souls are united, and we need each other for survival, as much as we need air to breathe. That is why I have made up my mind. I’m going to him. I’m going to tell him I love him, I will always love him, I will never stop loving him, with all my heart. Always. I am going to tell him I can’t let him go. I thought I could but for three months now, Its been killing me. I’ll die without him. I think, no I believe, that we can save the world. Together. With him by my side I can do anything. That’s why I’m going to tell him the truth, and hope that he can find it in that perfect heart of his to forgive me.
Three months. I can’t believe its been three months since my whole world came crashing down around me. Three months since I saw the only girl I will ever love, in bed with another. Didn’t she realise she was my life? my soul? my heart? without her I can’t even function. I lie in bed all day and all night, staring at the ceiling, trying to see beyond the stars that I know are out there. Looking for some kind of life. Hope. It’s kind of ironic the song that’s playing on the radio now
Last night I had a dream that we went to Disneyland,
Went on all the rides, didn't have to wait in line.
I drove you to your house where we stared up at the stars
I listened to your heartbeat as I held you in my arms.
We hung out at the rainbow where we drank til' half past two.
Nothing could go wrong anytime that I'm with you.
Like crashing a hotel room or leading up to that first kiss
Or searching for a high school that you know doesn't exist...
These are the things that make me free
I feel like I'm stuck in "stand by me"
This night was too good to be true.
Today I woke up alone wishing you were here with me,
I wanted us to be something that we'd probably never be.
Today you called me up and said you'd see me at our show,
But now I'm stuck debating if I even wanna go.
Whitney, don't you understand that what I say is true?
I just want you to know I have a major crush on you.
I'd drive you to Las Vegas and do the things you wanna do
I'd even have Wayne Newton dedicate a song to you.
I only wish that this could be
Just dump your boyfriend and go out with me
I swear I'd treat you like a queen.
"San Dimas High School Football Rules" The Ataris
It reminds me of me, before. Before I got to be close to her, before she loved me back. And then there was this great miracle, I wasn’t the guy in the song watching the love of my life with someone else, wishing. Hoping. I got the girl, she did dump that guy and go out with me, and then she slept with him. I don’t understand. I tried to get past it, be friends. But friends aren’t supposed to love a friend the way I love her. I want to get past it, I do. But first I have to understand.
I knock on his window, he is surprised but lets me in. I tell him not to say a word. I silence him with a hungry kiss, allowing us to connect. I show him all the events leading up to my supposed betrayal of him. I show him my pain, my tears. I let the Bon Jovi song playing in the background enter my thoughts. Our shared thoughts.
It comes down to this
I wouldn’t exist
Without you it ain’t worth the grind
I’d fight for one kiss
On a night like this
You make me feel I could fly, like
I could save the world
Since the night your love saved me
Maybe I can’t save the world
But as long as you believe
Maybe I could save the world
Our love is even stronger
Than God hoped it could be
And baby all it takes
Is just a little faith in me....
Save The World-Bon Jovi (CRUSH album)
I show him how my life has been without him. I show him my broken heart. That part that only he can fix.
Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn’t see
For parting my lips
When I couldn’t breathe
Thank you for loving me
I f I was drowning you would part the sea
And risk your own life to rescue me
Lock the doors
We’ll leave the world outside
All I’ve got to give to you
Are these five words when I
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me-Bon Jovi
I show him the lonely nights I spent dreaming of him, wishing, longing, hoping for his kisses, for us to be together again. I show him my undying love for him.
Chances are you’ll find me
Somewhere on your road tonight
It seems I always end up driving by
Ever since I’ve known you
It just seems you’re on my way
All the rules of logic don’t apply...
And you’re all I want to see
You’ve come to mean so much to me
Chances are I’ll hold you
And I’ll offer all I have
You’re the only one I can’t forget
Baby you’re the best I’ve ever met
And I’ll be dreaming of the future
And hoping you’ll be by my side
And in the morning
I’ll be longing for the night
Chances Are (not the whole song)-Bob Segar (Robert Downey JR & Vonda Shepard)
And I ask him for forgiveness
Please forgive me, I know( now) what I do
Please forgive me, I can’t stop loving you
Don’t deny me, This pain I’m going through
Please forgive me, I need you (yes) I do
Please believe me, Every word I say is true
Please forgive me, I can’t stop loving you
Please forgive me-Bryan Adams
I break the connection and open my eyes. He is staring at me. I search his eyes for answers. All I see is passion. He reaches over and wipes away my tears, as they now freely fall. He takes my hands and whispers “Now there’s something I need to show you”. His lips graze mine with all the pent up passion inside as we connect again.
He shows me the pain he felt at seeing me that night, the feeling of betrayal overwhelms me. I break down again, but he keeps the connection going.
I am all that I’ll ever be
When you-lay your hands
But don’t go weak on me now
I know that it’s weak
But God help me I need this
I will not sleep in this bed of lies
Bed of Lies-Matchbox 20
He shows me how he saw me up until that moment in my life. And after it. He shows me the weeks and months after my ‘betrayal’, not his pain, his hurt, his anger, that I know existed. But his love that still remained. Love for me.
Lying in my bed I hear the clock strike
And I think of you
Caught up in circle’s confusion is nothing new
Flashback warm nights
Almost left behind
If you’re lost you can look
And you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I’ll catch you
I’ll be waiting
Time after time
Time after Time, Cyndi Lauper
He breaks the connection and I see the deep love in his eyes. He starts to speak
“I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you. I came to you asking you to make me fall out of love with you. How could I do that to you, when all along I knew that could never be done. I will always love you, you are my soul mate. I’ve treated you so badly the past three months, and all along you were doing something I asked you to do. How could I do that?”
By now tears were flowing down both our faces, love was flowing freely between us.
“Max, I’m sorry I had to lie to you. I’m sorry for all the pain I put you through. I’m……..”
Max shushes me putting a finger to my lips.
“Liz, I never stopped loving you, not for a second. It will always be you. You are my life.”
At that moment a song started on the radio
I will love you, baby, Always
And I’ll be there forever and a day, Always
I’ll be there when the stars don’t shine
When the heavens burst
And the words don’t rhyme
No matter where you are
You’ll be on my mind
Coz I love you, Always
We both started at each other, mesmorised by the song, knowing that from now on this would be our song, and that every song we shared in our connection, would be special. With those unspoken words flowing between us, we collapsed into each other’s arms. And it was than we both knew that everything was going to be alright. We’d survived. Our love had survived, and since that day we have never been apart.
“Mum, can you tell that story again?” Maybe another night Little one it’s time for you to go to bed. I tucked Little Max into bed, and smiled at my husband, he smiled back and took my hand. “Always” he said. and once again I knew that everything was going to be ok.