posted on 4-Nov-2002 4:58:45 AM by BillyHoliday
I own nothing

Not everyone can be as lucky as I've been. Not everyone has known true happiness or true love. But for someone like me that's a rarity.

I've never been lucky or fortunate, For me life seems like some sitcom you sit through mildly interested and even less funny. Going through the tedious minutes of my life and small town living. Nothing ever happens in the small town of Roswell. Crashdown Cafe, Joe's Movie and Fun house are the most exciting things to do in Roswell.

So After high school I had a decision to make,College or a job behind a desk neither were appealing. My father and grandfather were both police officers. Honorable and generous men they were hard workers and proud. I've seen pictures of my father in his uniform. I vaguely remember him. The way he smelled and how my hand was encased in his large rough hands. The memory of him is all that I have. So I decided to become a police officer to follow in their footsteps.It's something that gave me purpose and took me away from the hum drum of everyday living.

Throughout the training, the academy and the FBI I've maintained that same strength and purpose that I knew would have made them proud.Throwing myself into my work and being successful in my job.

Don't get me wrong I've paid my dues. I've walked the beat, wrestled with criminals and sometime my own superior for recognition. It was a slow process but I think I have their respect and trust.

One of the biggest problems I've had is the shades of gray. Not everything is black and white especially in my field. Undercover work is something that I don't think anyone can understand unless you've lived It.Been in the trenches and dug yourself deep in. Your asked to become a different person. Their is no way to leave without scares and wounds that are too deep to cure. Take on another persons identity and leave yours behind. This can last a day, week, month or even years. So does the real you, the one behind the facade, does it wither or die or do you become the person your pretending to be? You act and appear different but your still affected by everyone around you. Is your soul the same? Does Elizabeth Parker really exist or is she just another allusion?

As I gaze down at my soon to be husband,Maxwell Phillip Evans, One of the biggest crime bosses in chicago, I wonder I'm I pretending or is this real?
posted on 6-Nov-2002 12:08:33 AM by BillyHoliday
Thanks for the feedback. I just hope I don't disappoint anyone with the next part.

I might have a something by late friday or saturday.
Also does anyone know a good beta reader?

Again thanks for the feedback.