|posted on 5-Nov-2002 2:10:14 PM by Donnie roswell gurl|
|Author-Donnie aka Flames Insperation|
Title: Wake Me
Summary: Story picks up right after Liz walks out on Max and tess kissing at the prom. So Alex is alive, and not being mind wrapped
Disclaimer: Roswell and its characters are not mine
She walked the streets after she a had witnessed the last of her hope dispelled in front of her. All by one single kiss, her hope for anything more was gone, turned away almost as if has never been there. Wrenching with it the innocence she had carried with her for so long. And had tried to hold onto desperately. That one kiss destroyed her world, and left it up to her to build a new one.
Her prom dress was soaked form the rain and clung to her body, along with her hair that had fallen some time during the night. The rain fell her hair fell, her tears fell, her spirt fell. The night seemed to engulf her, and leave her to drown in her misery, offering her now comfort, no solace. Her feet were numb, from the rain hitting her open toes, and her shoulders slightly hunched over, as if the weight of all of the worlds problems rested on her shoulders. Life at this moment for this young teenage girl was hell.
She finally collapsed somewhere along a alleyway, and did not have the strength to pick her self back out of the waste of the ground. So there she rested on the concrete of the ground, littered with mud, and other waste. There she watched unseeing as the sun exploded and brought the end to night. There she rested, and there she felt her world slowly start to build itself back up. In a whole other fashion.
I felt the sun began to scorch my skin, and stood, up against the wall, using it as my brace. Now that my feet had thawed all they felt like were ore, one big sore bubble. I looked around and that is when I noticed the alleyway that I had slummed in, was only a block form my house. Leaving me hardly any were to walk. At least I had been granted one small favor.
As I dimly made my way into the café I could feel the stares of all of the people inside looking at me from head to toe. Yes I knew I looked a mess, My hair was dishvled mused form the rain, and matted at the back form were my head had lain against the brick wall, and my body was caked in mud. Make up was smeared, and as I walked pass all these people normally I would feel my insides tingling with self consciousness. But now at this moment. I could not bring myself to acre about any of the people in this café, or there thoughts of me.
I looked straight ahead until I got to the last booth. I let my eyes slide over to were Max Michael Isabel, Alex, Maria, and Tess, sat. I watches them watch me, and were normally my heart would be filled with joy to see them, Now I felt a small flutter in my stomach, and nothing more.
I drug the ruined dress from y body, and threw it into a trash bag, and left it in the middle of my room. I walked to the tub, and let the water run hot, throwing in bath salts, soaps, and bath milks as I went, Then I grabbed a arrangement of flowers and through the petals in to. My rounded tub was the scene of perfection. I placed thirteen vanilla candles around the tub, and turned of the lights watching the steam from the tub dance upwards I took five cubs of ice form a bucket I had gathered earlier, and the them softly in the water, then I seated myself, and sank into a new kind of heaven.
I let my body float above the water for awhile, then sank down fully into the hotness of it, and scrubbed myself clean. Then rinsed with the now freezing water from the bucket of ice I had gotten and then sank back down into the tub, now just letting everything be absorbed into me. My head lulled at the edge of the tube, and rolled to the full mirror of my bathroom, and I started myself dead in the eye. That is when I knew I was no longer the girl I used to be. My eyes still shined, but now with something more, there was no innocence in this expression. It was more exotic. More dangerous, more mystery.
I rose fully out of the tub, and traced my navel, The grabbed the towel from its resting place threw it around me, threw on a long shirt, looked at my bed a minute, then feel in it. But it felt strange, foreign to my body now. But still I tossed threw the pillow, dug in deeper and sleep became me.
I did not sleep long only 6 hours so when I woke it was only 5'oclcok. That left me plenty of time, to do the things I had in store. The very room that I had lived in for 16 years felt strange to me now. It was time for a change. What brought about this change in me? Who knows, it was snot as if that was the first time my heart had gotten broken. But I sure as hell would make sure it would be the last.
I went to my closet and half of its contents were thrown into various trash bags. Then followed half of my shoes, and jewelry. My bed was stripped, and then as I looked at my bare bed, shrugged my shoulders and dismantled the hole things. Next the curtains came down, and the pictures were all taken out of their picture frames, and the frames met the trash bags. The pictures lay scattered at my desk.
I swayed into the room were my mom lay against the pillows, and plopped down next to her. I thought back over things and relished how truly rocky our relationship, had gotten over the last year. Then I did something that I know shocked the hell out of my mom. I turned to her with a genuine smile on my face, and asked if she wanted to go with me to run some errands.
She through her head back letting her mas of red hair fall down her back, and looked up through her lashes reminding me of how young she really was, my mother had me when she was barley 15, out birthdays were only 4 days apart hers March 13 mine March17. She gave me a casual smile, and shook her head in the positive jumping up form the couch, and retrieving her coat and shoes. We packed all of the things in the car, and I grabbed half of the money I had been saving since I was 13, and stuffed it in my purse.
I dropped all of my old stuff off at the salvation army, and then headed to Home Dept. to go and bye paint. Me and my mother talked, finally really talked after a year, talked laughed, there were only about two tears shed until we decide the crying wasn't for us, and then burst with laughter. After I had all my items, we packed them in the trunk as best we could, but still some had to go in the backseat. Then we headed to the mall.
As we pulled up it was till sunny, one of the things I loved about the summer, it was almost 8, and the sun still shone, as if 3 year Olds did not have to go to bed at this time.
Me and my mom walked the length of the mall two times, until our arms were so full we had to go back to the car. We placed the bags in. But there was no room for me to sit. So she took the car home, and I stayed ta the mall, still blowing have of my savings, and would catch a cab back.
As I waled into one store I could not help, but be drawn to, I noticed a short girl about my height, but more plump, with red corn-rolls down her back. She was the first thing I noticed then I noticed the help wanted sign in the front window. I walked over, and asked about the sign. Receiving a warm smile form the girl, she handed me a application and a pen.
When I got home, I started to work on my room. I hun the long gauze drapes over my window, and spread the black Indian comforter over my bed, and adorned it with the pillows I had gotten to match, Next the walls wee painted a deep forest green.
I was done finally, Done and tired, and since y room still reeked of fumes, I pushed open the window, and walked went for yet another mid night stroll, hopefully this one would be more productive then the one last night. I walked the town until the sun came up again, just thinking. When I got home, I saw Max's Jeep parked in front of the alleyway to my balcony.
I Started to head through the doors of the Crashdown, and then changed my mind and climbed the latter to my balcony, spotting max sitting on the ledge. The kiss he had shared with Tess still played over and over in my head. So I reached out a hand to him as I came up and touched him on the shoulder, then brought my hand back just as quickly. He turned to face me, and gave me a lopsided grin, that only caused the fluttering in my stomach that was there earlier to all but die out.
He opened his mouth to talk, but I was faster.
"Look, Max I saw you yesterday. I saw you kissing Tess yesterday, and you know you we cant keep playing with each other like this, so I think it would be more then bet for us to just stay clear of each other for a while, until we get things under control, and this thing with Tess, I think you should you know explore it, you are obviously attracted to her so you know why not?"
She had meant every word hat came out of her mouth and were she normally would of had to pause on certain parts of her speech, or choke over certain words, now she was calm and collected, and the knife that she thought would be stabbing away at her heart right now. Was no were to be seen,
"Liz I don't want to be with Tess, I just want to be with you. That is all I have ever wanted."I looked into his eyes, and saw that they were guarded, his eyes spoke clearly to her. He was lying. He did want to explore things with Tess, Normally that would wrench her heart out and slice it into shreds, now its simply mad a sad smile descend upon my features.
"Max I was I could say that back to you and mean it with every fiber in my being, but I cant, so im not going to lie to you. Go home Max." I left him there broken and alone, and felt only a small remorse, then I climbed into my bed, with most of the fumes gone.
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Nov-2002 11:03:36 PM ]
|posted on 6-Nov-2002 11:08:38 PM by Donnie roswell gurl|
Me and my mom did nothing but longue on Sunday, watched old cheesy girl flicks, did our nails, and ate. We vegged all day, and most of the night too, until my dad demanded we get up, and go out with him to eat. This he got a strange look for since (.A.) we live above a restraunt (.B.) Its was 2 in the morning and I had school tomorrow. (.C.) My dad was cheap, his idea of going out was the Mac-Dollar-Menu at Macdonald=s.
Thirty minutes later found me my dad and my mom at Taco Bell with thousands of the little sauce packets suonding us, and tons of taco papers around, us we each sat leaned back in our chair rubbing our puffed out stomach=s trying not to laugh, because every breath we took, made us feel even more full.
Finally, after being pushed out the door at 2:45 in the morning we went home. And I thought with a happy smile, I was getting my life back under control.
The next morning I woke yo my mom stumbling into my room barley up herself, and to the sounds of my alarm ringing ibn my ear. I looked at the clock, and would of laughed if not so tired, it was now 7:59. School started at 7:30 and my clock was sat for 5:45. How the hell had I slept through two hours of the shrill ringing?
I was in no rush already being late, and not wanting to go into my first class late, so why not just miss first and skip to second? I sat up and then laid back down at the dizziness that overtook me, I had forgotten that not all of the fumes were out of my room yet. I am sure my brain cells are shot. I slowly got out of the bed and padded to my closet, now littered with a new wardrobe.
I gabbed a short black skirt that came to mid thigh, with a even higher split, up both sides, a tight knitted swater that hung low on my palms, and rode high on my belly, just below my brest. I looked down at my new shoes and picked a pair of dull white knee high go go boots, and walked out of the my room into the kitchen garbing a apple and a blue pepsi as a I went, o walked past my dad and herd him give a low whistle, and turned and threw the newspaper at his head. I left the house laughing and got in the car laughing listening to the soft hum of Courtney Love's sultry voice as she song Dying=. I slipped the pair of sunglasses out of my book bag and slipped them over my eyes, making my way to a school that I had been at fir three years. But today was the first day they would get a taste of the real Liz Parker. The one that begged to be set free, and finally I am.
I walked in and I noticed right away I was gonna be late for second period too. So I took my time gathering my books, sailing into my second Period US government class, I saw a few moths drop as I made my way to my seat in the middle front row. I had forgotten to give Mr. McCormick my tardy slip so I eased back up, and handed it to him. Then made my way back to my seat. I looked around with bored eyes, and caught site of Pam Troy looking at me. I started back at her, as I placed my sunglasses in my hair. Then she did something unexpected. She smiled at me.
For the rest of the period I sat hunched over my desk scribbling down everything the teacher was saying, and rasing my hand a few times. I was oddly aware of the stares and just shrugged them off. They would get used to the new me.
I was in no hurry to get to my third period class since it was just one door down. So I packed my things slowly, and that's when I felt a small hand on my back patting me lightly. I turned nd looked into the Violet eyes of Pam Troy. She did another unexpected thing and smiled at me while complementing me on my outfit, and asking em if I would like to come and sit with her at lunch today.
I looked her up and down, waiting for the punch line, when none came I looked into her clear purple eyes, and nodded adding vocals along with "yeah sure." Pam smiled a sweet smile, nodded and left.
I was left to walk to third period wondering what the hell had just happened. Did me and Pamela Toy just have a bonding moment? I shook my head and walked into English, I had this class with Kyle, and Alex, and I gave them both a small wave, then sank down into my desk. I saw Alex wave an dthen saw his mouth drop and look me up and down then do it again. What is with these people today?
As Mrs. Taylor walks in she is already talking about a project that will be due in 12 days that counts for 29 percent of our grade. When she annoces partners the class goes into a uproar of people telling who they will be partners with. She holds up her hand, and tells everyone quietly she will be picking. The class groans all togther, Im not gonna fake it. Im groaing to. She calls of names, and I am placed with low and behold Raymara Williams. Raymara is the school bad ass. No Raymara is the town bad ass. And she is no rebel without a cause. She most has one. But no one knows what it is but her.
I start to move my stuff over to her side of the room, but she is already beside me, smacking her gum, and asking how we wanted to do this, since we only have 12 days to write a biography about each other. Her voice is shoking at first a lot softer then I thought it would be. I have never actually herd her alk she deson't talk in class at all.
"Well you could come over to my place tomorrow after school if you want." I offered she did not seem that bad, and they always say don't judge a book by its cover. She looked thoughtful for a minute, but it was scary because when she looks thoughtful, she looks like me a little her head cocks to the side a and her teeth capture the corner of her bottom lip.
She looked back at me and nodded her head no. "That wont work, I have to get ready for this thing at work, but I would do it while you are there, so you want to come to my place?" I could see no reason why I shouldn=t so I nodded my head, and that was the end of our conversation, as the bell rang. Well I thought it was.
Raymara turned back around, gave me a half smile, and told me that she liked tha fact that I had taken the stick out of my ass, and started to live a little. I laughed as she walked out, and I could take no offense to her words.
By the time my 5th period lunch rolled around. I had gotten 8 phone numbers form 7, very strange guys. I spotted my normal table and went to go say hello to everyone. As I drew to the table. I heard them all become quiet. I guess that means they were talking about me then huh?
Max looks.....horrible. That all I have to say about that.
Isabel looks......pissed off
Maria looks..... worried
Alex looks.......deranged and shocked
Well alrighty then. What the hell? I sit down and wait for one of them to tell me what is going on.
They don't but opt instead to ask me about why I left prom. I look at Tess, and she looks at me to her face un guarded and sincere.
"I saw some stuff I could not Handel at the time, so I took off, but now everything is fine."
I see Tess' eyes widen a bit, and Max grows paler then he already is. Isabel looks even more pissed. Well did they or did the not just ask me why I left prom? They did. Did I or did I know just tell them why? I did. So why are they all looking at me like that for? I cant take it anymore its like sitting in front of the firing squad of the British army.
"What?!" Isabel rolls her eyes and looks away. As does Michael, but Maria Alex and Tess, look at me with small smiles, and ask gently.
AWhat=s up with the outfit?⊕
ANothing I just got tired of my old stuff.⊕ As I reply I feel my mind drifting. This is so fucking boring, im bout to go and find Pam like I promised. But just as I start to excuse myself, Pam plops down next to me, and cancels out everyone around me and puts her focus on me.
"We still on for lunch? I got it if your busy now sweat."
"Yeah I was jsuta bout to go find you actually."
"Okay cool well me and everyone are over in the quad near the stone benches." She stands up gracefully, throwing her black hair over her shoulder and garbing her binder once more walking off.
"Kay I will be right there." As I turn around I see everyone looking at me like im crazy. Okay I get it this time, normally I would not be talking let a lone eating lunch with Pam, but she seems sincere.
"Yes, I am eating with Pam, close your mouth flies will get in." I pick up my stuff and walk over to the stone benches in the quad, there are people around the benches on the benches beside them, everywhere. But every one is mellow in a wild energetic teenage way. So for that 30 minutes of lunch, I sat and didn=t worry about the problems of the world. I sat laughed, and was a teenage girl. But next period, I had to see Max, and while my heart was not as open to him as before, it was till open.