posted on 3-Dec-2002 4:36:21 PM by Allie1031
Author: Allie1031
Title: Burn
Disclaimer: Yadda, yadda, yadda, I don't own shit, yadda, yadda, yadda, names, places owned by others, etc.
Rating: This fic will cross into NC-17 at one point and there will be strong sexual content and language at times as well.
Category: This is a M/L fic, from Liz's POV. There are no aliens in this Fic. Compared to my other fics, the plot of this one is relatively simple. There are no hidden enemies or crazy Tess's. In fact in this fic, Tess will not be evil. This fic is Alternate Universe, and as such I will exercise my rights to change/tweak/alter the personalities of characters as I see fit so that they are more my own and fit the story I have to tell. So please don't tell me that Michael is not acting like Michael, Tess is not acting like Tess, etc. That's how I want them to be or I wouldn't have written them that way.
Summary: So basically, what we have here is a clean slate. If you follow closely, I'm sure you will catch on to the plot and what is going on. This story will be shorter and have shorter chapters which means that it will probably be updated a lot more often.



Prologue

I pick up the picture frame off my dresser and rip the picture of the two of us out. I slam the photo face down in my box of keepsakes. I close the lid of my box, trying to contain the memories deep with in.

Even now, even now, I can't throw it away. I just can't.

The sound of music coming from my CD player fills my ears

"What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage
created you a monster
broken by the rules of love
and fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do
and fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do ..."


Tears stream down my face.

How could I have been so stupid? How? Why? Why am I always attracted to such losers?

I pick up my box and shove it up into the dark corner on the top shelf of my closet.

"and I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go
every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
trying to escape this desire
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
but I have the sense to recognize…"


I tell myself that it will be okay. That I will get through this. That I will forget him. I will move on.

There are other guys out there. Other guys. Better guys.

Somewhere out there is a guy who is perfect for me.

But wasn't he that guy? Wasn't he?

"that I don't know how
to let you go
I don't know how
to let you go…"


I don't know. I'm so confused. It all felt so…right. How could it be so wrong?

I let myself fall. Something I swore I'd never do. I let myself fall and I fell so very hard. And now I have to pick up all the broken pieces from my fall.

I loved him. Really loved him. Completely loved him.

I loved him for everything he is.

"A glowing ember
burning hot
burning slow
deep within I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you…"


He's a fool. A complete fool.

I let out a sob. My tears blinding me, I trip over my backpack that is lying sprawled amoung clothes on my floor and I fall down. I don't even bother to get up.

I cry. Letting it all out, I cry.

And the reality of the situation hits me full force.

"I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
and I have sense to recognize but
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go."


I glance up from my position on the floor, to the top shelf of my closet, to the box that I can barely make out the shadow of, to the memories that I know are hiding inside.

I see the photo in my mind.

It doesn't matter if it is hidden away or not because I have looked on that picture a thousand times before and I have it all memorized. Every detail, every expression I know by heart.

And I think back to the first time I ever saw that photo, the day that he gave it to me.

And the memories of every day that came before this flood into my mind.


***********
"Do What You Have to Do" is the song used and it's by Sarah McLachlan.

Almost finished with a Dreams update. Done some work on Normal. Hopefully there will be more to read soon.

[ edited 7 time(s), last at 27-Jan-2003 11:28:27 PM ]
posted on 4-Dec-2002 3:19:15 PM by Allie1031
Chapter One

"Liz!" my mother calls up the stairs, "Max is here!"

"That's nice," I shout back down to my mother.

I'm so in the middle of polishing my toenails.

"Liz doesn't have very good manners when it comes to guests," I hear my mother tell Max. "I've tried to teach her the proper etiquette but she refuses to adhere. You know how she is."

I roll my eyes. Etiquette my ass. I'm too lazy for that shit. And not fake enough.

"Liz, get down here and greet Max!" My mother yells.

I continue with my toenails. And then I hear my mother start to make small talk with Max.

"So what have you been up to this summer, Max?" My mom wonders.

"Working mostly," Max responds. "I just got promoted from dishwasher to assistant chef."

I perk up real quick like and hurry to the stairs.

"Well, congratulations," I hear my mother reply. "We'll have to come in some time to eat when you are working. Of course, Elizabeth doesn't often like to be seen in public with her mother. Still mowing lawns, Max?"

"Sure, it's good money," Max says.

"And most of those elderly people certainly couldn't mow their own lawns," My mother adds.

Honestly, mothers are such pains. My mom actually likes to chit-chat with my friends and that can get really scary.

"Yeah," Max agrees. "They do seem to appreciate my visit."
I slide down the banister of the staircase into Max. He steadies me. I compose myself and glare at my mother.

"BYE, Mom," I state shooing my mother away.

My mother rolls her eyes at me, and returns to the kitchen.

"Nice outfit," Max looks me up and down.

I'm wearing my pajama bottoms that have butterflies and hearts in pink and purple all over them and a dark and light purple striped polo shirt.

"I wasn't expecting company," I shrug.

"I can tell," Max smirks gazing at the messy nest of hair on my head.

"Yeah, well, it's what? Two o'clock? You know I just got up a half hour ago," I grin. "So what are you doing here? I thought you had to work this afternoon."

"I do. I'm on my way, but I wanted to bring you something. I went to the darkrooms this morning. I KNOW I was supposed to call you before the next time I went, but I didn't think you would want to be woken up," Max says.

"Good assumption," I remark.

"Anyways, I developed this picture of me and you from the roll I took the church retreat and I wanted to give it to you," Max continues.

"Thanks," I smile taking the picture from Max.

It's really actually very cute I discover upon looking at it. The two of us are sitting next to each other on a table at church and for some reason have our camera cases draped off the back of our heads so it looks like we have weird headbands on kinda. We both have these goofy grins.

"It turned out really good, don't you think? Maria took a good picture for once," Max states.

"It does look surprisingly good for Maria's work," I agree. "Can I see the other stuff you developed?"

"I mostly just have the contact sheets," Max hands what he's got to me.

I flip through them. Mostly boring stuff. A picture of Max with Maria riding piggyback on him. A picture of Isabel and Alex posing next to each other. Maria and Alex hugging. Me and Maria walking away flipping Max's camera off.
"Your asses look great from that angle," Max shrugs.

"Really," I frown.

The two of us had beaten him up for trying to take pictures of us while we were in EVE (the clever name for the girl's bathroom at the church camp we were staying at).

I continue to flip through the pictures.

"This one is definitely my fav," I smirk.

"Yeah, Michael, Alex and I thought it would be fun to borrow the lifeguard's bright red floatation things and play Baywatch on the beach for a while," Max explains. "Isabel took our picture."

Michael and Max and Alex are all running along a beach carrying buoys without shirts on. I notice how nice Max's chest is.

"What you can't see is the lifeguard running after us and how fricking freezing the water is," Max smiles. "We definitely should have stayed in the craft barn with you and Maria."

"You keep that in mind next time," I tell him. "You missed out on some quality candle making and beadworking."

"I bet," Max laughs.

I hand the pictures back to him.

"I have to get to work now, but I'll call you later, okay?" Max says.

"Alright," I nod. "Have fun at work."

"Oh, I will," Max states. "See ya, Liz."

"Bye, Max. Thanks for the picture!" I tell him closing the door behind him.

I shake my head. Max is such a goon.

I gaze at the picture he brought me.

Feelings stir from deep with in the pit of my stomach but I push them away and hustle back upstairs to finish my toenails.

posted on 4-Dec-2002 4:38:20 PM by Allie1031
Elena, it's awesome that you identify with my writing. Seriously, it is so cool. Although at the same time it kinda sucks because it's not so happy sometimes. Anyways, thanks for the awesome feedback.
posted on 4-Dec-2002 7:15:02 PM by Allie1031
quote:
qt4167013 originally wrote:
So... Is the prologue after or before the first chapter???


Good question.
posted on 5-Dec-2002 2:52:58 AM by Allie1031
I will update again on this later today or tomorrow.
posted on 7-Dec-2002 5:24:58 AM by Allie1031
Sorry. I had some serious problems with this part and I really had to grunt through them. I'm not completely satisfied but I give up because I'm too lazy to keep stressing over the minute particulars. Hopefully they will work themselves out.


Chapter 2

Somewhere in a far off distant place I hear my cell phone ring.

I glance at the alarm clock on my bed stand. The bright red numbers read 2:13 a.m.

I must have dozed off.

The television is now broadcasting some infomercial on a revolutionary new way to peel potatoes.

My cell phone rings again.

Groggily I stumble out of bed and over to my desk to answer it.

I glance at the caller ID.

"Hey," I mumble.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Max's voice sounds concerned.

"No, no. I was just resting my eyes," I tell him.

"I see," Max responds rightly not believing me. "Anyways, I just got off work. What are you doing right now?"

"Yeah, well I WAS sleeping, but now that I'm awake I don't have a whole lot going on," I yawn.

"Do you want to meet up then?" Max wonders.

"NOW???" I question.

"Well, not exactly right now. I have a pizza in the oven. Maybe in twenty minutes?" Max suggests.

"What the hell, why not?" I reply. "I don't have anything else exciting going on. Where are we meeting?"

"Meet me at the playground behind the elementary school. That's about half way, I think. At 2:45. I'll meet you there at 2:45," Max instructs.

"Alright," I agree. "But if you aren't there, I will hunt you down and kick your ass Max Evans."

"I'm sure," Max muses. "Because you so definitely can."

"You wait. Some night you are going to be stumbling around drunk of your ass and I'm going to knock you over with my little pinky finger. You just wait and see Max," I retort.

"Whatever, Liz," Max laughs. "See you in a bit."

"Okay, see ya," I hang up.

I sigh. I'm not sure why exactly I agreed to go meet Max right at this hour other than that I literally have no life.

You see, I just graduated from high school. It's the summer after my senior year and I have to go off to college in the fall. A college I neither want to go to nor am looking forward to attending.

My mother wouldn't let me go to the University of Maryland like I wanted to. Apparently it costs far too much even with any scholarship and it's too far away. Instead she's making me stay instate and go to the University of New Mexico.

So instead of getting a job this summer, or doing anything even remotely productive for that matter, I'm going through a period in my life that I like to call "my thinking time."

Basically, I sleep during the day, am awake all night, occasionally partying like it's still 1999, walking around sometimes for my entire day in my pajamas sulking because I don't get to decide my future after all while binging on mass amounts of junk food. You can imagine how much this routine might piss off my mother.

When I shower, if I shower, I change out of my pajamas right back into my pajama. They are far more comfy anyways. Sometimes I manage to make myself go for a jog so that I don't truly become the fat-ass I am pretending to be but other than that, I can't say I do much but watch T.V. and search the internet.

What can I say? I spend a lot of time thinking. I ponder such questions as "What is the meaning of life?" "Why must God smite me by making me go to the University of New Mexico of all places?" and "How on earth do they get the cream filling into Twinkies?"

I, Liz Parker, am a bum. And I am quite proud of it.

I glance at the mirror on the back of my door.

Eh, it's just Max.

Yeah.

I pull my short hair up into a ponytail. And I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I'll at least do Max that courtesy.

I was eating Cool Ranch Doritos earlier. They happen to be my chip of choice as well as, coincidentally enough, Max's.

I mess around on my computer for a while until 2:40 rolls around and I grab my flashlight and head out the door.

The walk to the playground isn't long. Two or three blocks tops. But I always cut across and open field.

Which is why I bring the flashlight.

I'm a big scaredy pants but I always tell Max that I need it so I don't trip in a hole or something.

I approach the playground behind the school but I can't see Max anywhere.

If he stood me up…

"BOO," Max jumps out behind me and scares me senseless.

I scream and drop my flashlight.

Max bursts into hysterics.

"That," I state dryly, "was not funny."

"You-you-you," Max can't even spit out what he is trying to say he is laughing so hard.

I kick him in the shin and frown at him angrily but he continues to laugh.

"You should have seen your face, Liz," Max wipes tears from his eyes. "Priceless. You are such a wuss."

"I am not," I protest. "You snuck up behind me in the dark in the middle of the night. Who knows what weirdos could be wandering around out here."

"Please, this is Roswell," Max rolls his eyes. "It's like Pleasantville. In fact they actually secretly filmed the movie right here in this town under everyone's noses and that is the only real conspiracy the government is trying to cover up."

"Anyways," I don't wish to discuss my jumpy nature anymore. "How was work?"

"Boring as hell," Max responds. "My ass keeps chaffing because of the stupid black pants I have to wear. And I think I am getting a weird rash."

"Have you tried wearing underwear?" I wonder skeptically.

"The boys get too hot if I wear my boxers," Max insists. "I have to move around a lot more and everything with this new chef gig. I'll just get my mom to buy me new pants."

"You know they are going to make you wear your underwear in the store when you try the pants on, right? So how are you going to know that the new pants won't chaff your ass as well?" I question.

"I'm sure I'll figure something out," Max assures me.

"Yeah, whatever, good luck with that problem. And I wouldn't go around telling everyone about it so openly either. It's not a very flattering dilemma," I chuckle.

Max shrugs.

"So what did you do today?" Max asks.

"I polished my toenails," I state proudly as we make our way over to the swings to sit down.

"Isn't that a bit girly for you?" Max wonders plopping himself down on the swing next to mine.

"No. Not at all. It's purely a matter of ascetics," I tell him. "My toes look a whole lot cuter polished."

Max rolls his eyes.

"But you had to paint the entire rainbow on each individual toenail? What is that about? Are you trying to tell us all something?" Max raises an eyebrow.

"Hardly. I have nothing better to do, and I think rainbows are pretty. I assure you I am straight. Although, there was a time when I used to suspect Sean was gay," I respond.

"Oh yeah," Max snorts. "I remember that. That was really funny. It's even funnier that you still dated him for a whole year after that too."

"Shut up," I frown. "Sean was cool. I know I complained about what an asshole he was all the time, but when I needed him he was always there for me. Sean was cool."

"Okay, okay," Max holds his hands up in surrender. "So how is the bastard? Have you talked to him recently?"

"Actually, I talked to the bastard yesterday and he's fine," I state. "He said he misses me a lot."

"So do you think you guys are going to get back together?" Max wonders.

"Not in this lifetime," I scoff.

"Why not? A month ago you told me you 'loved' him and that he 'loves' you and that by the end of the summer you'd be 'back together' AGAIN and everything would be 'spiffy,'" Max reminds me.

"I don't think I said 'spiffy,'" I interject.

"Oh, you said 'spiffy.' That's exactly what you said. 'Everything will be spiffy,'" Max claims.

"Whatever," I concede. "The point is I don't want to get back with Sean anymore. A month ago I was just confused because I couldn't imagine myself with out Sean. Which is only because I dated him for the last three years. I mean, the guy was my best friend all through high school. But somewhere in there we grew apart and we just didn't mesh the same way we used to. Yet neither of us wanted to admit that, so we still kept trying to make it work, and it just got messier and messier. I love Sean, but I'm not in love with him. I tried to make myself believe I was for a long time, though. We care about each other a lot, but we aren't meant to be more than friends. We are too different to be a couple anymore."

Max nods his head occasionally, silently listening.

"I mean the entire last six months of our relationship were so shitty. We didn't even kiss or make out or anything anymore. We were like an unhappy, old, married couple. Prom was dreadful. But then when we broke up right after graduation I freaked because I thought I needed Sean," I go on. "I guess I imagined that once school was out and it was summer things would get better because it would be less stressful, and we would go away to college together and be all happy. The reason I chose the University of New Mexico and not New Mexico State was because I thought we would still be together. My mother even originally wanted me to go to New Mexico State University because the tuition is just a hair cheaper with the scholarship that they offered me."

"I can't believe you are going away to college, Liz," Max sighs.

"I can't either," I agree. "It's like, wait, wasn't I just starting high school? Where does the time go?"

"I don't know," Max shakes his head. "We are going to miss you, you know? The gang will. It won't be the same with out you around."

"I'll miss you guys too," I respond sorrowfully.

The reality of the fact that I am leaving all my friends soon and going a way to college stands out all too strongly in my mind.

Most of the gang will still be here in Roswell in high school while I, Liz, will be off at college in Albuquerque.
We formed our gang until high school when we all somehow ended up in the same bible study at church that our parents forced us all to go to. We all always got along really well and worked together to hassle the teachers. Eventually we started hanging out outside of church and became the close-knit gang we are today. A few of us had been friends for years individually, but we never hung out as a group. We are all pretty close in age but we are in different grade levels.

I skipped from grade 3 to grade 5 in elementary school because I had such high grades and standardized tests scores and that’s when Maria and I became friends. She's a year older than me.

Maria is the shit and always will be. She and I cause a lot of mischief together Maria will be at Eastern New Mexico University which is located in Roswell so she can still see whoever whenever.

Maria has a younger brother named Kyle. He's like a second brother to me. Kyle and I are pretty tight now, but it wasn't always that way. Kyle's going to be a junior but he should be a senior. However, when he was really young he had leukemia so he got held back a year.

Michael is Michael. He's very quiet when you first meet him but after you get to know him he won't shut up. Sometimes he gets self-conscious because he's thinks he's trailer trash, but seriously, none of us care that both his mom and dad have mullets because he's cool to us. Michael should have graduated with Maria and me but he flunked kindergarten if you can believe it and they held him back. Something about not playing so well with others.

Everyone knows Michael has this epic crush on Maria, but she's completely oblivious and he's too terrified to make his feelings known. We all sympathize.

Alex is my younger brother. He is so stinking annoying sometimes that I seriously want to kill him but other times we just crack each other up. He's only going to be a junior.

Isabel is Max's younger cousin. She's very shy and innocent. But she's cool in my book because she always laughs at my jokes. Even the really bad, really cheesy ones. She's in the same grade as my brother. Isabel is the same age as my brother.

Kyle is currently dating Isabel. He used to be this big pimp but she reportedly "changed his ways." At least that’s what he claimed when I relayed what Max said about beating the shit out of him if he treats her like he's treat other girls in the past. Max likes Kyle, don't get me wrong, but he's somewhat protective of cousin Isabel.

Max also has a much older brother named Eric but he's so old that he's away at college.

Tess is seriously the most perfect person I have ever met in my entire life. Seriously. She's the biggest goody-goody ever. And she is really smart and really good at everything she does. It's absolutely disgusting. I'd hate her except then I would feel bad that I hated her because she is so damn nice and so very sweet to everyone. Tess is only supposed to be a sophomore but she's so brilliant that she skipped two grades and she's going to be a senior in the fall.

And Max? I don't know. Max and I just connect on this entire other level. He's really weird. I'm really weird. And when we are weird together, that's when it gets interesting.
He's seriously the coolest person I have ever met in my entire life. I didn't like Max when I first meet him though, but that involves an entire other explanation.

You see, Max is my pastor's son. Yep. You heard me correctly. He moved to Roswell about five years ago when our church got a new pastor. And when I first met Max I thought he was going to be an even bigger goody-goody and more perfect than Tess.

And then I realized he is very not perfect at all by any means and just seems like he is. Then I really hated him and thought he was the fakest person in the entire world.

And then I actually got to know Max when we were in the same bible study and now I think he is the most genuinely real person I know.

Max should be in the same grade as I should be in, a senior this year, but his mother sent him to kindergarten a year late because he was born in the late spring and his mother happened to read an article somewhere about how it was better because it gave him an advantage over his peers.

Max nudges me and I snap back to the real world.

"Sorry, spaced-off," I mutter.

"It's okay," Max smiles faintly. "So if Sean came up to you and told you he couldn't live another day without you and begged you to take him back…?"

"I'd tell him to shut up and stop acting stupid," I declare. "He broke up with me the night before I left to go on our church retreat at the beginning of this summer. I remember I was so upset the whole way there. The first days I reassured myself that as soon as I got home I would win him back and we would be back together in no time. And then about the middle of the week is when something inside of me started to change and I realized that I really didn’t like Sean as much as I thought I did. By the end of the week the last thing I wanted to do was get back with Sean and repeat my previous mistakes. I don't know. It was just like suddenly my eyes were open."

I never used to hang out with Max outside of the gang because I was always so busy with Sean doing this or that. Max and I would always say we should hang out but whenever Max would ask me to actually come do something with him I would make and excuse. I don't know why but I just would. He asked me to go to Maria's graduation open house with him but for some reason I didn't feel comfortable going just the two of us so I dragged Michael along.

It wasn't until I broke up with Kyle that we really started to hang out. In fact, the first time we ever hung out just the two of us was the night we got back from the retreat. Even though we had just spent the entire week together, he invited me over to his house to watch a movie and I eagerly went. Since then we have been hanging out and talking on the phone all the time.

"I don't know, Liz," Max says skeptically. "It's hard for me to believe that you are over Sean just like that."

"Believe me," I assure Max. "I couldn't be more over him."

"Alright, alright," Max gives up. "So anyways…"

"Yes, anyways…" I repeat.

We talk for a long time, Max and I. We tell each other all kinds of stupid stuff and share stories about this or that, sometimes recalling crazy things that happened to us when we were growing up.

And then at some point I look at my watch and realize it is after 5 a.m. and we part ways.

Max promises to call me later.

I walk home alone, shaking my head at myself, wondering if I'm crazy for meeting Max like that in the middle of the night like that.

It doesn't seem very normal to me.

But then, when has either of us been very normal?


[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Jan-2003 8:59:01 PM ]
posted on 10-Dec-2002 1:32:38 PM by Allie1031
quote:
ISLANDGIRL5 originally wrote:
I must admit, I was a bit confused at first, trying to remember who was how old, and what grade they were supposed to be in. But I'm good now.


Yeah. Don't worry about that junk. I'm hoping it will sort itself out and if not I'm sure I'll figure something out.
posted on 16-Dec-2002 12:17:11 AM by Allie1031
Chapter 3

Have you ever met someone for the first time and had that feeling, known rather, that the person standing before you, this complete stranger, was going to change your life in ways that you couldn't even begin to imagine? Have you ever just had an intuition based on nothing other than the sensation in your gut that your future would profoundly be altered, affected, impacted, forever changed, from that moment on just because this one person has walked into your life?

It's a strange feeling, almost eerie, because it has no logical claim in the real world. And you wonder if it's just your imagination. If this person will really become so devoutly important to you, if your mind is playing tricks on you.

But it's not your mind that feels the connection. It's your soul. Your soul recognizes the soul of someone whose existence will become to intricately intertwined with yours.

And you don't even know it yet. You just have a goofy feeling in the pit of your stomach that you can't really place or identify. But for some reason you know that this person will be infinitely important.

The first time I met Max Evans, I didn't like him, make no mistake.

But I had that feeling. And it scared me. Because, how could someone I didn't even like create those strange sensations?

He was too arrogant, too pious, too self-righteous, too sanctimonious, too immature, too dorky. He was sooooo….no one I would ever associate with.

But that's the deception of first impressions. You can never really be sure who you've meet, even though you'd like to think so.

When I meet Maria, I'd had that feeling, that this person would touch my life. And Sean, I knew he would shape me as well. And later, when I met Emily, I knew she'd transform me too.

You can't fight who you are. And though I like to think I possess the control over my life, there are times I feel as if I am only one small spec blowing in the breeze to wherever the winds of chance take me.

How can you know when you first meet someone, who they will be to you someday? How could you even begin to guess?

I don't know when it was that Max Evans really began to appeal to me, but I would venture to guess that it was sometime along our mission two summers ago. We were working at a church camp for a week, making repairs, painting, rebuilding where they couldn't afford to pay for maintenance.

And there was this path that we would always walk along to get to our work sites. And one day Max and I were walking together on that path, it was in the morning and we were both late, because we both overslept, because we are both horrible lazy about getting out of bed in the morning.

And we were walking along. And there was this awful, dead ugly tree right on the side of the path. It was maybe fifteen feet tall and almost two feet around. The majority of the tree looked to have broken off and fallen into the forest years before. Basically what we were looking at was a tall, dead stump really.

And for some reason, with the two of us happening to be carrying saws, there was just this insatiable need for us to saw down that stump. I don't really know why, or rather how, the subject can about or what exactly came over us but before I knew there we were, the two of us engaged in a senseless activity with no real benefit, our only goal to cut that damn stump in half. With our tiny bow saws no less.

I don't know how long we were at it before our youth leaders found us an scolded us, but I do know that we still had a lot of sawing to do.

And after putting in a good day's work, the two of us went back to that stump and got to sawing at it again, Max on one side of the tree, me on the other. Maria came and watched us, simply because she didn't believe our excuse for our tardiness that morning. Mostly Maria just laughed at us, for our silliness. But we sawed on.

I'm not sure what it was about that tree, but it was coming down.

It didn't come down the first day. Or even the second. And the third day really pissed us off.

The outer shell of the tree was fairly easy to saw through, the bark was mostly rotted, but the inside was very, very hard. That damn tree was stubborn as hell.

On the last day of our trip we went out after supper, determined not to let that stupid tree win. Maria came as an audience and to hold the flashlight. We sawed and we sawed and we sawed and that flipping tree still stood tall.

Maria got bored and took the flashlight and left. She told us if we were going to be this big of dumbasses she couldn't bear to watch any longer.

Shouting at it didn't seem to be any form of intimidation. Finally Max got really pissed and just gave the whole tree one big shove.

And miracle of all miracles, the tree fell.

The whole thing was stupid, I know. But we just kept at it, long after the original amusement wore off, primarily because we found that we enjoyed each other's company. That and that tree totally deserved to die.

We picked up some of the wedges of sawed of tree chunks to forever remember our victory over a dead tree.

Somewhere over the course of time, the mess of the abysmal abyss of my room ate my pieces of that tree.

But Max, somehow, he kept track of his pieces and when I graduated from high school last month, and he came to my graduation party, he gave me a chunk of that tree.

And right now, I am racking my brain because I can't for the life of me remember where I set that it down. And I've searched everywhere in this entire house like ten times.

"Mom!" I shout with urgency down the stairs. "MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM!"


I keep shouting at the top of my lungs until she rushes into the room.

"What?! What is it Lizzie? What's wrong?!" My mom asks alarmed.

"Have you perchance seen a piece of wood lying around that’s about this big?" I show her with my fingers.

"Good heavens, Liz! I thought you were dying the way you were yelling," My mom looks relieved and slightly annoyed.

"Naw, I was just too lazy to come find you," I explain. "So have you seen it?"

"I ate it for breakfast," my brother Alex states as he comes into the room.

Brothers are soooooo annoying. Mom and I ignore him.

"No I haven't seen it," My mom tells me.

"You didn't throw it away did you?!" I demand worriedly. "Max gave it to me at my graduation party."

"Max gave it to me," Alex mimics in a falsetto voice. "Max is too cheap to buy me jewelry but this chunk of wood is a symbol of our looooooove."

"This fist is going to become a symbol of my love for you if you don't get out of here," I threaten my brother.

"Alex, stop harassing your sister," my mother orders.

"She started it," Alex retorts.

"Mom was here the whole time. She knows you are lying, shithead, " I roll my eyes.

"Elizabeth! Watch your language!" My mother commands. "Alex don't make such obvious lies. I'm sorry Lizzie, but I don't think I've seen this piece of wood you are talking about. At least I don't remember. Your party was over a month ago. I could have thrown it away, or Sabina could have."

Sabina is our Bosnian cleaning lady. My mom is currently trying to fix her up with one of my skuzzy cousins. But that's another story.

"Mom, do you think you could have thrown it in the yard with all the other wood chips out there?" I wonder.

"Maybe," My mom says thoughtfully.

I rush to the front door and start to search outside in the yard. There are about a million wood chips in our yard.

I groan. I dig through our landscaping on my hands and knees, hoping for a lucky break.

Alex comes out to taunt me for a while. I throw wood chips at him and he goes back inside.

This is impossible. Ughhh!!

Why am I such a flake? You'd think I wouldn't misplace something like that. I save everything, movie ticket stubs, candy wrappers, everything! How can this damn tree continue to be so elusive?

It was busy that day, there were so many things going on, I reason. Trying to lessen some of my disappointment in myself for being so careless.

I sigh, and head back into the house hoping that the piece of wood will turn up eventually.

posted on 5-Jan-2003 3:27:45 AM by Allie1031
Chapter 4

Do you ever feel like you are wasting your life?

I sure do, which might have something to do with the fact that I have yet to accomplish something more than getting out of bed this summer.

I sigh.

I'm bored. All my friends are at work. Even the lazy ones.

I was so angry when I didn't get my way about going to school. Hell, right now I don't even want to go to college. I hate school. And I don't want to go.

I should just not, that would definitely throw everyone for a loop!

I smile to myself deviously.

Who am I kidding? What else would I do? Work?

If I don't go to college I'll have to work a shitty job that I hate for the rest of my life.

But maybe I could take a year off and join the Peace Corps or something. I think that would be a bold enough statement with high shock factor. And that at least looks good on a resume. Not like sitting on your ass all summer.

I sigh.

This is what I do.

Sit around all day and think of crazy actions I could take to shock my mother. The worst part is, anything that I think of that carries any remote significance always gets ruled out because I am too lazy.

I did cut all my hair off, though, I have to give myself credit for that.

Except it was more of a statement towards Sean than my mother, really. We'd had a nasty big fight right before we broke up and he'd left me rather pissed off.

I knew how he loved my long, flowing river of chocolate hair. He loved to play with it, running his fingers through it.

No, that my mother found it disturbing was just an added bonus to the act. I was really looking to get under Sean's skin.

So I got my hair cut off. All of it. Well, not all of it. But most of it, just leaving a short bob to frame my face.

When I came home from the salon my mother was visibly shocked. She just stared at me for a while.

Then she said, and I quote, "What the hell possessed you to do that?"

And Alex so eloquently added, and I quote, "You look like shit! Did you get hit by a lawnmower?"

That bastard. Always doing his best to kill what little self-esteem I possess.

Sean managed to take my drastic action in stride, knowing it was a blow aimed at him. Mostly, he avoided addressing the real issue at all.

Maria thought it was, and I quote, "adorable!" with a definite exclamation point. Maria's a good friend. She always supports me no matter what I do.

Max just kind of shrugged and told me it looked, and I quote, "nice."

Personally, I liked it. It was a nice change.

"Hey," Max says coming down the basement stairs, interrupting my thoughts.

"Oh, hey," I smile at him.

"What are you doing?" Max asks, coming over to stand in my mess of different chunks and pieces of fabrics.

"I've decided to make a quilt," I declare.

Max bursts out laughing.

"What's so funny?" I frown.

"Do you even know how to sew?" Max wonders.

"Yes," I respond resentfully. "I happen to have made these here pants that I am wearing in 8th grade home economics."

I gesture at my pajama pants.

"Impressive," Max grins.

"I happen to have major homemaker qualities and very motherly tendencies about me, Max Evans. I'm going to make a very nice quilt, and it's going to be very warm, and you are going to be sorry because I'm not going to share it with you," I say indignantly.

"You mean you have grandmotherly tendencies. You're eighteen, not eighty," Max retorts, taking a seat on the basement floor among the piles of fabric next to me.

"Just hand me the sheers," I order.

"The WHAT?" Max questions.

"The sheers. The scissors right next to your feet!" I tell him.

"HAHAHAHAHA. SHEERS!!" Max doubles over. "You called them sheers. You are eighty."

"Shut up," I frown, giving Max a shove.

"What are you going to do, make me? Stab me with your sheers?!" Max laughs harder.

I jump on him, punching him in the stomach. Of course he is bigger and stronger than I am and restrains me easily, putting me in a headlock.

I furrow my brow.

"Someday I'm going to seriously kick your ass," I promise.

"Yeah, right. Not likely," Max snorts.

I bite his arm, and we wrestle some more, rolling around on my basement floor. Eventually, Max ends up pinning me down. His legs are intertwined with mine, and his hands roughly grip mine out on either side of my head, the weight of his body on top of mine holding me down.

I glare menacingly at Max.

But he doesn't glare back at me. In fact he has an entirely strange look on his face.

I met his studying eyes, confused. His eyes on mine send shivers down my spine.

Max rolls off me, releasing his hold, and sits up, straightening himself.

Now I'm really confused. Usually he makes me cry mercy, or promise not to say a dopey word like sheers, or tickles me until I have tears, or even bites me back really, really hard for biting him in the first place.

"If you want to make quilts, Liz, far be it for me to deny you that pleasure," Max shrugs.

"Yeah, well, I have to do something with my day," I say, propping myself up on my elbows.

"True," Max agrees distantly. "Hey, listen, I gotta go."

"Already?" I whine. "You just got here!"

"Well I have to go to work," Max explains. "I just stopped by to see what you were up to. I feel bad about not meeting up with you this afternoon and taking a nap instead. I was just so tired because I had to get up early this morning to help out my Dad after I worked late last night."

"It's okay," I assure him. "Don't worry about it. You need to get more sleep. We should stop meeting up in the middle of the night."

"I like meeting you in the middle of the night," Max's eyes meet mine.

"I like meeting you too. It's fun," I smile. "I always have fun with you."

"I have fun with you too, grandma," Max grins, getting up.

"Have fun at work," I bid him farewell.

"Oh I will," Max says as he climbs up the basement stairs. "I'll see you later, Liz."

"Bye!" I call after Max as he shuts the basement door.

I sigh.

He's been acting kind of strange lately.

He's probably just tired because he works so much. Max is one of the few people I know who really, really just plain likes hard work.

I hear voices upstairs.

Tess and Maria come bounding down the basement stairs. They must have just gotten off work because they are still in their work clothes. They both work at a local grocery store.

"Hey, chica, how's it going?" Maria asks.

"Okay. I've decided to make a quilt out of my old t-shirts and torn jeans and other raggedy old fabrics I have lying around," I tell her.

"Awesome," Maria smiles. "We saw Max on his way out and he told us you went grandma or something, but I didn't understand what he was talking about."

"Yeah, he teased me a lot about making a quilt," I sigh.

"Just ignore him," Maria advises.

"Yeah, I think it's a really cool idea," Tess adds.

Tess is in 4-H. She sews with the best of them.

"So what are you kids doing here?" I wonder.

"We're going to a movie on Saturday night, the whole gang, and we wanted to let you know," Tess tells me.

"Yeah, you can go with Max. He's finally got a night off," Maria grins.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I frown.

"We all know you guys like each other. I mean, COME ON. Do you think we are stupid?" Maria rolls her eyes.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," I state flatly, not looking either of them in the eye.

"Tess and I discussed it on the way over here and you two totally want each other bad," Maria asserts. "Everyone knows it. Even all the old church ladies."

I raise an eyebrow at Maria.

"YEAH, Liz, even the old ladies know," Maria insists.

"That is ridiculous," I shake my head.

"Why? What’s so ridiculous about you and Max, Liz? You two are too perfect for each other," Maria declares.

"Yes, Maria. You know that all I need right now to save me from this eternal boredom is to get involved with my best guy friend. Yeah, because we all know how well that has turned out for me in the past. Please Maria, I don't think my heart has been shattered on and stomped over enough times. I like pain. I enjoy it very much. That is why, right now, I'm going to go find a nice, shiny, pair of tweezers and clear out my bikini line. And that's just mild pain compared to what it would be like if I dated Max Evans," I state.

"Oh, stop," Maria frowns. "You are just being melodramatic. Max treats girls well. Remember Skipper?"

"How could I forget?" I roll my eyes at the thought of that fake blonde bitch.

Her name was Sarah, but we called her Skipper because she wasn't quite old enough to be Barbie and didn't quite have big enough boobs. But man, she always looked great and always had a fantastically fashionable outfit on that was always revealing as well. And her hair, ughhh! Her hair was always so long, and blonde, and perfect.

But she was a bitch. A real bitch. She didn't even talk to other females or acknowledge they existed. She always flirted with all the guys and was never faithful to Max.

She just wanted him. To possess him. Max is a good looking guy. And once you get past the whole preacher's kid thing he's all rebel. She wanted Max and she wanted him bad. She wanted to control him and play with him. That manipulative whore. And Max just followed her around like a lost puppy, falling for all her tricks.

"Well he treated her well but she was the most heinous bitch ever. He had such poor judgment and he was sooo blind. Max is clearly romantically retarded. And Skipper was always all done up and looked perfect. I'm sorry, but if Max goes for girls like that...you know I can never be a girl like that," I say.

"Liz, you are a very pretty girl. And Max isn't superficial like that. If you ask me he doesn't want some blonde bimbo with her breast out there for the world to gawk at to order him around and treat him like shit," Maria insists. "I think he wants a down to earth gal that he can actually talk to and be best friends with."

"Maria, first, Max is a moron. He doesn't know what the hell he wants. And secondly, most importantly, Max is a moron. I knew Skipper was shit, and I knew she didn't deserve him, but do you know what? I never voiced a damn one of my concerns. Do you know why? Because I wanted him to be happy. For once I wanted him to have someone to be with. You have no idea how much he lacks self-confidence with girls. And I thought at least if he could have someone like her be interested in him it would be good for him. I knew she would break his heart but I didn't say damn thing. He never would have listened to me anyways. And I just wanted to support him like a good friend. So I said nothing," I sigh. "If he wasn't smart enough to see for him self how wrong she was for him then there was nothing I could do."

"Liz, you know how much it killed you to see him with her. Hell, even back then everyone could tell that you were so into him. Even though you never told him, he knew you never got along with her. And he knew you called her Skipper behind her back. Remember that time you sat on his lap, pretending he was Santa?" Maria reminds, smiling.

I remember and grimace. I had ran over to Max, who had just sat downm calling out "Santa, Santa" over and over and jumped into his lap, pretending to be a little kid. Max had played along, as he always does when I'm acting stupid.

"Santa, my name is Max Evans," I had said in my bestest little boy voice. "I live at 437 Spring Road, and this year for Christmas Santa, I want a skipper doll. One with long blonde hair, and blue eyes, and perky tits, Santa, and-"

Max had stiffened and stood up quickly, dumping me off his lap and onto the floor. Maria had laughed her ass off and so had I.

"That's not funny, Liz," Max had frowned, trying to shush me since Skipper happened to be only across the room.

"Yeah and remember how not amused he was," I recall. "He was so in love with her, and she cheated on him and dumped his ass in the gutter. Even if Max didn't hurt me, I would end up hurting him. Maria, I've already fucked Sean up beyond repair. There is no way in hell I'd ever want to do that to Max."

"But you admit that you have feelings for him," Maria points out.

"Maybe," I retort. "But it doesn't matter because noting will ever come of them. Besides, Max has never seen me as anything more than a good friend; we both know that."

"Hello, Liz? Where the hell have you been lately? Maybe two years ago he never saw you as anything more than a friend, but girl, have you seen the way he looks at you lately? I know you were too involved in Sean to notice the change earlier, but shit girl, Sean's ass is long gone. Where have you been?" Maria asks. "Tell her Tess; back me up here. Tell her how Max looks at her."

"Oh, Liz," Tess speaks up having spent most of the time just listening to Maria and I bicker. "Max is so smitten with you. He's always watching you in church. You don't see it because you aren't looking. I like to watch people watching other people and he's always watching you, looking at you."

First of all she said smitten. I AM NOT EIGHTY DAMNIT. And second of all the watching thing sounds creepy, not romantic like they seem to think.

"Are you sure I didn't have something on my face?" I frown.

Maria elbows me in the stomach.

"Liz, he was watching at you," Tess states wistfully. "He's always studying you, his eyes all sad and longing. Those gorgeous brown eyes. He wants you. He wants you bad."

"You're making this up," I accuse.

"I am not. You are just completely oblivious to the way Max feel about you because you don't want to see. Because if you did, then maybe you might have to do something about the way you feel for him," Tess asserts.

"You tell her Tess!" Maria whoops.

"Well that's just not true," I shake my head. "You guys are nuts."

"You are. Max is a great guy. Why don't you want to be with him?" Tess questions imploringly.

"Yeah, Liz, why is the idea of being with Max so awful?" Maria demands.

"It's not awful," I reply. "It's just…unrealistic. It's not going to happen. Why should I get my hopes up just so I can get hurt and be disappointed? There is no way it would ever work out. I'm going to college in the fall and he's going to be here. And most importantly, he doesn't even like me."

"Liz, Max isn't the moron, you are," Maria responds. "You need to wake up and see what's right there in front of you. And take a fucking chance for once. Max likes you Liz. You owe it to yourself to explore what is there. If you don't, you will spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been. even if you are going to school in the fall, that doesn't mean you are dropping off the face of the Earth. I mean there are such things as telephones and email and I'm sure you'll come back and visit every now and then. So you have no excuse not to go for it. You know you want Max as bad as he wants you."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I will put your comments and complaints on file and save them for future reference. Now can we PLEASE talk about something else?" I beg.

They start talking about the movie we are going to on Saturday. Scooby Doo. Fantastic. Because I wanted to see that. Luckily we are going to the 99 cent theater, so I don't have to feel like I am wasting my money.

They chat a little before they have to go home to dinner and leave me alone with my quilt, pondering their words.

Does Max really like me?

And do I still like him?

I mean, there was a time when I kinda did have a crush on him, but that was a long time ago, before I started dating Sean.

Hmmmmmm. Max. I picture him in my mind. To my great displeasure, I can't ignore the butterflies that surface in my stomach.

I sigh.

Those girls and their ideas are going to get me into a lot of trouble someday.

I frown and go back to work on my quilt.


[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Jan-2003 8:50:27 PM ]
posted on 5-Jan-2003 2:03:24 PM by Allie1031
I have to be honest guys. I was reallly really really close to scrapping this fic. I have a sequal planned for it that is going to be Max's POV and I LOVE the ending that is going to be on that, it's so adorable, but seriously, I am sooooo struggling here with my fics. Normal is killing me. I know where I want it to go and I have the story all planned out but for real, when I write it it is shitty and so boring. I'm not funny anymore. I can't even remember the last time I had fun. I AM SO BORED. Sigh.
posted on 8-Jan-2003 3:04:27 AM by Allie1031
Chapter Five

Now I'm not an alcoholic, not like Max is, but I do enjoy a good night of hearty drinking every now and then. So when my friend Brenda called me and told me to get my ass down the block to some girl named Mandy's house to enjoy some alcoholic beverages, I thought to myself what the hell? Why not? I deserve to have a little fun.

Well that was about five hours ago, and now I am considerably trashed. Heh, heh. In fact, I'm in that drunk but not willing to admit I'm drunk state where everyone else can totally tell that I am drunk but I refuse to admit it.

Damn straight I'm not drunk! I can walk just fine. Just fine. Except that some moron made the sidewalk back to my house all crooked and curvy while I was at Mandy's.

But I am not drunk. I can hold my liquor with the best of them. I tell myself this as I stumble home.

"Holy shit!" I jump as a rabbit darts out of the bushes and across my path.

Heh. Heh. Bunny.

"Come back bunny," I order, hopping after it in an attempt to imitate a rabbit.

It dashes into my back yard and I chase after it, just like Alice.

"Rabbit!" I call in a high pitched, feminine voice.

Where's it going? It's too late to go to Wonderland tonight. I'll have to wait till morning.

"Cwazy wabbit!" I state in my best Elmer Fudd voice.

I lose sight of it. Bunnies are stupid anyways.

"I hope someone cuts off your feet to make keychains!" I exclaim in the direction that I saw the rabbit last.

I stumble into my garage and am about to enter my house when my cell phone rings.

MAX! Yeah! I like Max. Max is fun.

"Max, I like you. You are fun," I answer my phone.

"Uhh, thanks, Liz," Max responds, a little confused. "Ditto."

"Hey, Max wanna hear a secret?" I snicker.

"Liz, are you drunk?" Max asks concerned.

"Nooooooooo. Silly. I only had five beers tonight. FIVE. One for each finger. No half my fingers if you count both hands. One for each finger on my good hand. But I can't possibly be intoxicated yet. Liz is not drunk," I state confidently. "But guess what? I drank five beers, and I peeled the labels off five bottles, and so I am going to have sex FIVE times tonight!"

"Really? You have a busy night ahead of you," Max muses.

"Yes," I agree. "But do you want to hear a secret?"

"I suppose," Max responds.

"Well if you don't want to know, I can go tell the rabbit!" I reply indignantly.

"Tell me, Liz. I want to know," Max assures me.

"Okay, okay," I say eagerly. "But you can't tell anyone. You have to promise."

"Alright, I promise," Max promises.

I giggle.

"So, I was at Mandy's house tonight with Brenda. I've never really talked to Mandy before in my life, although I have seen her around school before, but anyways, Mandy was talking about her shitty boyfriend and how she doesn't think he really likes her. And then Mandy, then Mandy was saying how she just wants someone to hold her and kiss her and take care of her and tell here everything is alright. Yeah, so," I go on, rambling away. "So I started thinking, geez, you know, I want that too, I do. I want someone. And that's, that's when it hit me Max. It was like a fucking meteor crashed into my head. I think… I think, I think I want you Max. I like you. As more than a friend. Way more than a friend."

And as soon as I say it, I realize just how very drunk I am.

FUCK! I can't believe I said that. That it all came out just like that.

It registers with me that I will be severely kicking my own ass tomorrow.

Silence hangs, I feel myself being lynched.

"Uhhhh…ummmm….," Max searches for words. "Wow. Okay."

It occurs to me that if he liked me back that would have been an opportune time to say so.

I want to take back what I said so badly. I wonder if it is too late to throw in a "just kidding."

"Liz," My name rolls off his tongue painfully.

"I'm sorry," I wince. "I'm so sorry. I feel really stupid. I am so drunk."

"No, no. Don't feel stupid," Max tells me.

Too late.

"Are you at home?" Max wants to know.

"Yeah," I answer him, praying I will wake up from this nightmare.

"I think…I think we should talk about this," Max says. "Can you meet me at the playground? Now? Can you make it there?"

I consider lying and saying no.

"Yes," I answer softly, my mind whirling.

I AM SO STUPID. FUCK, I AM A MORON. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! I should have just told the rabbit.

"Okay, I'll see you there soon then," Max hangs up.

I whimper. What'd I just do? I want to cry. I feel the tears sting my eyes, but I push them back. I have to go meet Max.

I trudge to the playground, the whole way beating myself up for admitting my feelings to Max. Why the hell would I go and do a stupid thing like that? I knew he didn't like me. Maria and Tess were so wrong.

When I get to the playground, Max is already there, waiting for me, sitting on the swings. I sit on the swing next to him silently, not meeting his gaze.

My drunkenness is slowly wearing off, leaving me to face the extremes of harsh reality.

"Liz," Max says my name.

I frown, not looking forward to hearing the speech he's about to give me. I don't need to be told that I'm a great friend, blah, blah, blah, he wouldn't want to mess things up, blah, blah, blah, he doesn't want things to change, blah, blah, blah. I map out what he's going to say in my head, knowing exactly what is coming.

"Liz, you are a great friend," Max starts.

I pick up some of the pebbles that make up the floor of the playground around us. I start trying to throw them through some rings that are across the playground. It is a futile task; the rings face a perpendicular direction, and besides that, I can't throw that far.

"Liz, I don't want to mess things up between us," Max continues. "Things are so great right now. I need you as a friend. I don't want things to change."

I throw the tiny rocks harder, grabbing handfuls are time and projecting them with all my disgust, frustration, anger, pain.

"Liz, are you even listening?!" Max demands.

"Yup," I respond, slowing down on the rock slinging to appease Max.

Max sighs.

"What I am trying to say is…I don't know…Suppose someone really does like someone a lot. But they know that they can't really be with that person, not like they want to, because that person has to go somewhere else soon and their life is going to be really different. And the other person probably isn't even going to want to be with that person after they go away. And things would get really, really complicated if these people got together. And they are really great friends, and one of the people can’t bear to lose the other. He doesn't want anyone to get hurt and he doesn't want to mess up their great friendship. Do you understand what I am saying?" Max asks.

"Hmmmm?" I question clueless.

I got lost trying to keep all the different people straight so eventually I gave up.

"Yeah, you're too drunk right now, Liz," Max sighs.

"I wish I was drunker," I snivel, kicking the rocks at my feet and sending them flying in a great wave. "Then I wouldn't feel so stupid. And maybe I'd even have forgotten what I said in the morning. I have the distinct feeling this shitty night is going to stick with me for a very long time."

"Liz, don't feel stupid. Don't. I don't want things to change between us," Max pleads.

I shrug. I feel stupid. I am stupid. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID.

"Liz, I really, really care about you a lot," Max tells me, his eyes meeting mine, spilling intensity,

"I care about you too," I respond automatically, trapped in the pools of his amber eyes.

"I need you, Liz. Don't feel stupid. I need to be friends with you," Max insists, his voice scared.

"It's okay, Max," I assure him. "Just because I am stupid, doesn't mean we can't be friends."

I wish I could crawl under a rock and hide. Or not talk to Max until I stopped feeling stupid. But I like being friends with Max and I like Max, so much so that it doesn't matter how stupid I feel.

I sigh.

I stand up. I want to go home. I want to sleep. I won't feel stupid in my sleep. I hope.

"I'm going home," I announce.

"Alright," Max nods. "Do you want me to walk you?"

"No," I decline his offer. "I can make it. I'll be fine."

I walk across the playground towards home, my mind a blurred mess.

"Liz," Max calls after me with desperate urgency.

I turn around, my eyes locking with his. There are a millions things I hope, I wish, I dream, he says to me next.

"I'll call you, tomorrow," Max smiles weakly from the swing.

I nod. That was not one of them. I continue my walk home.

I don't know how long Max sits there, on the swing, alone with his thoughts. I don't know because I never look back. I just go home and cry myself to sleep, my tears staining my pillow, my heart openly longing for something that can not be.

posted on 14-Jan-2003 11:04:40 PM by Allie1031
I might also have a new part for this soon. It's like half done or so and parts are easy to write for this usually.
posted on 27-Jan-2003 11:27:53 PM by Allie1031
Kids, I have decided not to continue this fic. I do not wish to continue to write it at this point for reasons of my own. That is all. Thank you.