|posted on 3-Dec-2002 6:40:17 PM by Snow White|
|Fade You Away|
Summary: This is set after Heart of Mine. Everything that happened up til this episode happened (like future Max etc.). But Liz realises a few things and decides she has to make a tough decision - to let go.
Please leave me feedback (good or bad), then I’ll know whether or not to continue.
Just a short part to begin with.
Liz stood still and silent. For a minute she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her. But no Max was kissing Tess right in front of her eyes. She watched for a second or two, making sure this is what was happening. Just checking that she was correct in thinking that her life was falling apart.
Then she ran. Ran down the corridor, shoved open the doors and escaped into the night.
She wandered the empty streets of Roswell. It was silent. There were no people moving, none talking and none laughing. There was no one. Liz was alone.
Her heart felt heavy and numb at the same time. Her mind was bursting with emotion and was empty, all at the same time.
“This is it,” She whispered to the night sky “This is the end.”
She shivered slightly, as a thought ran down her back.
“It’s really over,” She said to herself “Really over.”
And she walked home, knowing what she had to do.
[ edited 4 time(s), last at 11-Dec-2002 3:45:22 AM ]
|posted on 3-Dec-2002 7:09:02 PM by Snow White|
Liz reached her room and packed.
She threw all her clothes into two suitcases. She took her journal. She packed her photo album - which was filled of Maria, Alex and herself. She packed her jewellery and her school books.
She changed out of her prom dress and placed it gently at the back of her near empty closet. She held her corsage in her hands like it would break. She conjured up the memory of Max giving it to her, just earlier that evening. Then she opened her dresser and gently rested it at the front of the top drawer.
Turning away from the flower she almost let go.
Almost let it spill over and down to the ground.
She walked to her mirror and stared at her reflection.
“Can I really do this?” Liz asked herself.
Her reflection did not reply.
She touched her stomach, and traced the outline of the handprint. She had memorised where his hand had touched her. She had memorised the moment that changed her life, changed all of their lives.
And not for the better, she realised.
A flash of Maria and Michael entered her head, and then one of Isabel and Alex.
“Well maybe for some of us, it has worked out,” Liz said to herself.
‘But not me,’ Her mind replied.
She stared at herself, long and hard. She searched for an answer, for a truth. But she couldn’t see anything. She just couldn’t see through the pain and the loss she felt.
So she walked to her desk, and got out her writing pad. And she wrote, she let all the feelings come out. She let out all her pain and asked all the questions she would never get answers to. She wrote what she thought, what she wanted and what she needed. She let it all out and let it go.
And amazingly she felt a little better, as if a small burden had been lifted.
Then Liz lay on her bed, her hand on her stomach and slept.
And did not dream.
Sorry this isn't very long, but if you want me to continue the parts will be longer from now.
|posted on 5-Dec-2002 3:34:23 PM by Snow White|
|Well thank you for the encouragement. I will post another part very soon.|
|posted on 5-Dec-2002 4:11:36 PM by Snow White|
Maria hummed to herself as she climbed Liz’s ladder that led to the balcony. She had tried the front door, but it hadn’t been opened. Which was a little odd, considering they were all having a post-prom breakfast together at the Crashdown.
‘She’s probably still asleep,’ Maria told herself.
She finished the ladder climb and jumped over onto the balcony.
Walking over to Liz’s window, she tapped quietly.
Waiting, she got no reply.
So she gently pushed the window up, which as easy since Liz never locked it.
Quietly she climbed in through the window to stand in Liz’s room.
Liz’s bed was empty.
Maria was confused ‘Where is she?’
The room also looked slightly empty, compared with how it had looked last night as they got ready for the prom.
Maria wandered downstairs and unlocked the front door so the others could come in.
She turned and was about to go back to Liz’s room when she heard the door behind her.
“Morning Maria,” A voice sang behind her.
She turned with a grin on her face.
“Hey Alex,” Maria said “You sound chirpy this morning?”
“I had the best night of my life last night,” He announced grinning broadly.
“Yeah, from what I could see your dream seems to have come true, huh?” Maria inquired.
Alex faked a swooning action and collapsed into a booth “My life could not get any better right now.”
“And nothing could break this mood I’m in,” He added.
Maria smiled, ignoring a weird feeling that was creeping inside her.
The door banged open loudly.
“Morning Michael,” Maria knew instantly who it was.
Michael went and plonked down across from Alex In the booth.
“Hey man,” Alex greeted him.
“Hey,” Michael grunted in response.
Maria rolled her eyes and went over and sat next to him, kissing him on the cheek.
“Thank you for last night, space boy,” Maria said.
Michael looked at Maria and smiled “You know, it was great.”
Maria and Alex stared at Michael like he had grown two heads.
“Umm…um…I mean yeah you know you would have been ragging on me if I hadn’t shown up so…” Michael trailed off uncomfortably, as Maria and Alex cracked up.
“It’s Ok, you’re allowed to enjoy prom Michael,” Maria laughed.
Michael gave her a sheepish smile.
“So where are the other?” Alex asked.
“You mean where’s Isabel?” Maria said slyly.
Alex blushed and Michael stared at Alex.
“You hurt Is and I’ll blast you with my powers Ok?” Michael said in a low voice.
Alex sat up straight and looked fearfully at Maria.
“Alex, it’s Ok” Maria said elbowing Michael “He’s joking.”
“Yeah man, it’s cool I know you won’t hurt her,” Michael replied grinning.
Alex visibly relaxed.
“Cos you know Max will kill you if you hurt her anyways, so I wouldn’t need to lift a finger,” Michael continued laughing at Alex’s reaction.
“Yeah well it’s more likely to be the other way if either of us gets hurt,” Alex replied.
Alex turned his head and looked around the café.
“Hey where’s Liz?” He asked looking at Maria.
“I don’t know,” Maria replied.
Just then Kyle and Tess walked in through the Crashdown doors.
“Hey what’s up,” Kyle said loudly.
“Hey guys,” The three replied.
“So how is everyone feeling this morning?” Tess chirped sitting next to Alex.
“Pretty good here,” Alex replied grinning.
“Yeah man, you and Isabel huh?” Kyle said punching him lightly on the arm.
Alex blushed for about the millionth time that day.
“I’m just going upstairs,” Maria said to Michael, and as she got up he squeezed her ass.
“Hey watch it buddy!” Maria stated smacking him playfully on the arm.
Michael smiled sweetly at her and Maria felt a tad swoony.
Maria smiled to herself as she wandered out the back of the Crashdown and up to Liz’s room. She entered Liz’s room and again notice that it seemed sort of empty. Walking back into the hall she yelled out Liz’s name.
Even her parents weren’t at the house.
Maria was a little worried.
‘What if they had an accident or something?’ Maria thought wildly.
‘No they would have rang me or something,’ She reassured herself.
She went back into Liz’s room and walked over to her desk, and she saw it.
A white envelope with MARIA written on the front.
Maria’s heart almost jumped into her throat.
Picking up the envelope she slowly opened it and pulled out a sheet of crisp, white paper.
Unfolding the paper she saw it was a letter.
Slowly she read.
I’m sorry to do this to you. I really am. But I hate this. I’m so tired of being here. I’m so tired of feeling this pain if have felt every day for the last year. I hope you can forgive me one day for doing what I have done.
I’ve left Roswell. I left the morning after the prom. My parents dropped me at the airport. But if you
ask them where I am, they will not give you a reply, because they do not know where I am.
The prom was the last straw for me. I saw something last night that was a long time coming, but it was the most painful thing I have ever felt in my life. And even though I expected it, the pain wasn’t subsided in any way.
I came to realisation after that I couldn’t stay here. I couldn’t be around to see what was going to happen. My heart, I know, wouldn’t handle it.
So please forgive me Maria, because I love you so much. You are my best friend and one of the few people I can count on, and trust.
And one day I will write to you and let you know where I am, but for now I can’t risk anyone knowing where I am, especially…..well you know who.
I’m going to be Ok. I have money and I am going to finish school or maybe get a job. Everything has just gone so wrong. I thought that day, that fateful day, had changed my life for the better. And I truly believed this, but now I realise how wrong I was and how right he was.
We were never meant to be.
Keep an eye on my parents Ok, just make sure they don’t go mad.
Good luck with Michael. You really have something special, I see it in his eyes when he looks at you.
I love you Maria.
Maria looked up at the wall. At the photos of her, Alex and Liz that covered it and burst into tears.
|posted on 6-Dec-2002 6:21:47 AM by Snow White|
|Thank you for the encouragement. I will have a new part posted tomorrow (after I get some sleep) - cos it's 12.17am in New Zealand and I am stuffed.|
|posted on 10-Dec-2002 3:22:24 PM by Snow White|
Alex drummed his fingers on the table of the booth they were sitting in.
He couldn’t remember ever having a better night, than the one he had just had.
‘Isabel,’ He thought dreamily with a smile creeping over his again.
The only other night he ever remembered that could possibly beat the previous was when he, Maria and Liz and snuck out of the house when they were younger.
They were staying at Maria’s house the night when they were about twelve and had decided to go on a midnight mission. So they crept out of Maria’s house at precisely midnight and scurried to the park. They sat together by the pond and had made a pact. They would be best friends forever, and would always be there for each other. And also if any guys ever picked on Liz or Maria, Alex was to be their knight-in-shining-armour.
Liz and Maria meant the world to him and he didn’t know what he would do if something ever happened to them.
Just then the door opened and Alex looked over to see who it was.
Isabel entered the Crashdown, with her eyes searching the room.
Alex’s mouth stretched into a wide smile.
Isabel looked at Alex and his smile and felt butterflies inside. And she smiled shyly back.
Crossing the room, she went and stood by the booth, her eyes only on Alex.
“Hi,” She said shyly.
“Hi,” Alex replied just as shy.
The room was silent.
“Ahem,” Michael coughed, starting to snigger.
Tess and Kyle started to laugh, seeing Alex’s reaction to Isabel.
“Hey,” Alex asked in a huff “Can I help it if I got to dance with the most beautiful girl in the world last night?”
They shut up and Isabel beamed at him, her cheeks turning rosy.
“Um…I’ll let you sit down,” Tess said getting up and gesturing to Isabel.
“Oh thanks Tess,” Isabel replied and sat in next to Alex.
“Hey where’s Max?” Michael asked.
“Oh he’s coming soon I think,” Isabel replied.
“He enjoy last night?” Tess asked innocently.
Isabel looked down for a moment.
“Actually I don’t know,” She said slowly “He seemed upset about something when I saw him afterwards.”
“Yeah, he didn’t seem himself,” Alex agreed.
“I think something happened with Liz,” Isabel said.
Tess smiled to herself.
“I hate that they can’t just work it out,” Isabel said.
The others nodded, bar Tess.
“But then….there are factors to consider,” Isabel mumbled looking at Tess.
They sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments.
“So um where’s Maria and Liz?” Isabel asked breaking the silence.
“Um I dunno where Liz is, but Maria just went upstairs,” Alex replied.
“Yeah she’s been up there ages,” Michael said getting up “I’m gonna go check on her.”
Michael took the stairs in the back two at a time and reached the second floor quickly. Walking over to Liz’s door he thought he heard sobbing. Pushing the door open he saw Maria curled up on the ground, sobbing.
He rushed to her side and knelt down.
“Hey,” Michael soothed alarmed “What’s going on?”
“Maria,” Michael stated and slowly pulled her up into a sitting position.
“She’s gone,” Maria sobbed “She’s gone.”
“Liz?” Michael asked.
Maria nodded, still crying.
“What?….Why?” Michael asked confused.
“Why do you think?” Maria yelled.
Michel stared at her, getting the picture.
“Max,” He said.
“Yes Max,” Maria screamed “Fucking Max.”
She sat shaking.
“It’s always Max, he always manages to break her heart.”
“He always does this to her,” Maria ranted “I don’t know what happened last night, but it pushed her over the edge.”
“Hey Maria,” Michael tried to calm her.
“No,” Maria yelled “You can’t calm me down, I don’t want to be calm.”
“Why does he do this to her?” Maria whispered “Why Michael?”
Michael sat looking at Maria.
She looked at him.
“Because he loves her,” Michael replied.
Maria stood up and looked down at Michael.
“That’s not love,” Maria said sadly “It just isn’t.”
Michael stared after her as she left the room, and he knew that things were different. He knew that by Liz leaving, everything had changed.
(Sorry I took so long).
|posted on 10-Dec-2002 6:57:45 PM by Snow White|
|Ok it's so great to have people reading this and posting very generous feedback. I'll post the next part within the next day. Hopefully I'll try to make it a bit longer - cos other fanfics I read have these huge parts added and I feel a bit of a scrooge.|
|posted on 11-Dec-2002 3:44:14 AM by Snow White|
Max stood outside the Crashdown.
He watched Isabel and Alex. He watched as they grinned at each other, and he saw Isabel pinch his cheek affectionately.
He saw Kyle, who was sitting across from Alex with his back to Max. He could tell by Kyle’s body language that they were having a good time.
And then he saw Tess. She was standing by the booth, laughing at something Kyle had said.
He felt a shiver down his back.
He couldn’t see Michael or Maria.
And he couldn’t see Liz.
An image of her flashed into his head of giving her the corsage he had brought her. She had looked so beautiful. He never wanted to tears his eyes away from her.
He shook his head to get rid of the flash.
He didn’t want to go inside. He felt that if Liz saw him, she would know what had happened last night.
And he never wanted her to know that.
But he didn’t know what to do about Tess.
He couldn’t deny the pull her felt towards her. But was that because he once loved her or because he was intrigued about the fact that she was an alien and knew things about them.
Or was it something else?
‘Why does everything have to be so complicated? Why can’t I just get it right for once?’ Max sighed to himself pushing the Crashdown doors open.
As he entered he looked over at the back of the room and Maria stood there with her hands on her hips.
“Get out,” Maria screamed advancing on Max.
Max had no idea what was going on and he looked for help to the others, who were staring at Maria clearly confused.
“Get out, get out,” Maria yelled “I hate you.”
“Maria what’s…” Max tried to ask.
Maria was now standing in front of him, and looked like she was going to hit him.
“You’re not welcome here anymore, so leave,” Maria said in a low voice.
“What’s going on? Where’s Liz?” Max asked and was answered with a hard slap across his face.
“Maria?” The others finally spoke up.
“Ow Maria,” Max yelled putting his hand to his face and stepped back slightly.
Maria went to hit him again, but Michael grabbed her around the waist and pulled her away.
“Where’s Liz?” Max repeated knowing it had something to do with her.
Maria stared at him and suddenly burst into tears.
“Hey, hey Maria it’s Ok?” Michael said soothingly letting Maria sit in a booth.
Alex got up and moved over Isabel to go and sit by Maria.
“Ria, what’s going on?” Alex asked concerned.
Maria sat crying.
“She’s gone,” She whispered.
“What?” Alex repeated not hearing her.
“Liz is gone,” Michael said.
Max stood still, not really sure if he heard correctly.
“She can’t be gone,” Alex said bewildered.
“She’s gone, she left Maria a letter,” Michael replied looking at Max.
Max felt cold.
Isabel went and stood next to Max, putting her hand on his shoulder.
Max felt her hand and pushed her away.
“I’m sorry Is…I just can’t” Max started
“It’s Ok,” Isabel said sitting back in the booth.
“Why did she leave?” Kyle was the only who had the guts to ask.
“Because of him,” Maria stated bluntly looking at Max.
Max stared at Maria.
“Because he hurts her again….and again….and again,” Maria continued.
Max turned away.
Tess walked over to Max “Are you Ok?”
Max turned and brushed past her and into the back, ignoring her.
He walked slowly up the stairs and stood at her bedroom door. He didn’t know if he could enter. He hadn’t been inside her room since he had seen her with Kyle.
But he walked inside.
He stood in her room.
He could smell her scent on the air.
He had memorised the way she smelt, from the few times he had been with her.
Holding, hugging and kissing her.
The best times of his life.
And he knew she was gone.
He could feel it.
And he knew that it wasn’t just for now.
Or just for this week.
He had a frightening feeling that it was forever.
His eyes were drawn to the desk.
He moved towards it and sat down slowly.
There was an envelope on the desk with MAX written on the front.
He reached over and picked it up and held it in his hands.
Gently he turned it over and opened the flap.
Sliding out the paper within, he held it in his hands terrified to read it.
I almost don’t know what to say. There is so much going on in my head, but then again I’m empty all at the same time.
I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m so sad. I don’t think I could explain to you just how sad I am.
I feel like I’m in mourning. I feel like everything is gone, because in a way it has. At least everything that was important to me. Namely…you.
But I am so angry.
I saw you.
I saw you kissing Tess at the prom.
And I just couldn’t understand. Why? Why Max?
I stood there at the prom. I watched Maria and Michael dancing together. I watched Alex and Isabel kissing. And suddenly it was all so simple.
It was Ok.
And even after what I had said to you, about the pain I had been in. That pain was always worth it, because it was you. It always been you.
And so I went looking for you. And then I found you….with her.
And I ran.
As I was walking home it came to me.
You don’t want to be with me.
You don’t love me…at least not enough.
Not enough to risk your heart, like I am…was.
I’m not doing it anymore. I’m not going through all this…for nothing.
Because you are never going to be with me, are you?
I have done things for you… that you don’t even realise. I have made sacrifices and I ave put my life and the lives of my friends in danger for you.
And this may sound selfish. But I don’t want to do it, if I’m not going to get what I want out of this whole thing at the end.
And that end may never come.
I know you may think that I don’t love you enough to stay and battle through.
But I do and I hate to say it, I always will.
But this is it.
I’m tired…I’m cold inside…and I don’t want to be near you anymore.
I think I deserve better.
So I’m going away to be away from you.
And I don’t know what’s going to happen.
To me. To you. To our friends.
But I know one thing Max.
I’m going to forget you.
Not in a moment.
But I’m going to do it slowly.
I’m fading you away.
Max sat and stared at the letter.
He didn’t cry. He didn’t shed one tear.
He was dead. He wanted to die.
“God strike me down now,” Max whispered “I can’t be here without her.”
But God didn’t answer.
And Max sat and felt himself fade away.