|posted on 4-Dec-2002 2:59:16 AM by goddessgurl5000|
Title: For All of Time
Author: Who else? Tina
Summary: Liz was shot, and she’s hallucinated the last three years. Max has a secret, and Liz is in a coma.
Author’s Note: And this is where everyone yells at me because I keep starting new stuff, but I can’t seem to finish anything. I just had to start this though. It was bothering me…
Rating: PG-13- R(?) I’m not thinking that I’ll get over PG-13, but this takes care of anything.
Disclaimer: Well, I'm sorry to tell you this, but unfortunately, JK is still in control the little world called Roswell, and all of it's inhabitanints. I know that you would like me to rule over that world, but I fear that it will never happen.
A weight lifted from my shoulders as I dropped the journal into the mailbox, my letter to my parents in the back. I was giving them the gift of truth, and it was far overdue. I only hoped that they wouldn’t hate me for the lies, and that they could understand that I had to leave. Now I just wish that one day I will be able to go back and explain everything to them. I hope that one day we can all go back. For now though, I can only wish that we can escape the pain of the last years as we run from home.
Tears dripped down Maria’s face as she clutched Liz’s limp hand absently. The dim hum of the machines in the hospital room was the only noise, and it was slowly driving Maria insane. She had been by Liz’s side since she had been shot, and she didn’t plan on leaving until Liz woke up. And she knew that Liz was waking up. She didn’t care if everyone else lost hope. She was not giving up.
She had refused to think of the shooting. She didn’t want to remember what had happened. When Sheriff Valenti had questioned her she had broken down crying, and he had had to leave. Her mother had practically pushed him out the door, cursing him for causing her daughter emotional pain. Sometimes the fury that her mother felt for the sheriff was an amazing thing.
Really, there was another reason that Maria hadn’t been able to leave the hospital. She had seen something in the Crashdown. She didn’t know how to explain it, and she didn’t want to. She wasn’t like Liz; she knew that Liz would have found answers no matter what. She had also decided that she was going to let Liz find things out. As soon as she woke up, Maria would tell her what had happened. And Liz was going to wake up. She knew it.
“Coffee?” Alex asked, walking in. He had been at the hospital almost as much as Maria.
“You are a God,” Maria told him, taking her coffee from him. He took a seat on the couch on the other side of Liz. He hadn’t ever been able to come very close to Liz. Maria thought that it made him too real. He’d rather look on from farther away, and act like everything was exaggerated from farther away. She wasn’t sure how that worked.
“Is something wrong Maria?” Alex asked. “I mean, is something else wrong?”
“Alex, this is going to sound really weird, but something happened at the Crashdown. You didn’t see how Liz was shot. She was bleeding really badly.” Maria pulled a tissue from the near empty box by the bed and wiped her eyes. She had run out of cedar oil after about an hour. With one long, shaky breath, Maria continued. “Alex, she wouldn’t have made it to the hospital. There just wouldn’t have been time.” Maria paused.
“So what happened?” Alex asked. Maria had a way of leading people in circles like no one else could.
“Alex, I never told anyone this, but when Liz was shot, Max was in the back bathroom. He got behind the counter while I was calling 911, and I just saw him as he was getting up. He was holding his hand over her wound Alex.” Alex was trying to understand Maria through her tears as she relived the day again. He had never been so glad for band practice. He didn’t know how he would be if he had had to see the bullet fired, and it he had watched Liz hit the floor. Alex shook off the thoughts.
“Maria, maybe he was trying to stop the bleeding,” Alex said logically.
“Alex,” Maria said, pulling out a new tissue and wiping away more of her tears. “I saw his hand glow.”
TBC... What do you think?
[ edited 15time(s), last at 20-Jan-2003 4:11:55 AM ]
|posted on 8-Dec-2002 12:16:33 AM by goddessgurl5000|
|Ok, I have to warn you that generally my updates will take a bit longer than this one did, but I'm really liking this story, and I'm really liking the feedback. (Plus I spent most of my two sick days this week working on it.) Anyway, needless to say, I do have part one finished. I actually changed the whole part after watching part (the first 13&1/2) minutes of the Pilot eppy. (I've been downloading for over a month and all that I have is 13&1/2 stinking minutes... Well, they are during the good part of Roswell, so they aren't "stinking minutes" but... well I'm going to assume that you understood that.) Anyway, I like this version a lot better than the first one.|
tamira- thank you!
moonieADT- (this has nothing to do with the feedback or the story but...) very creative name... what's it from? (I know that there is a better way to say that, but school has fried my brain! Ok, so that's no excuse but...)
Lady_Without_A_Clue- Wouldn't you like to know...
frenchkiss70- I'll think about it...
roswelllostcause- demanding now, aren't we? (did that make any sense?)
roswellluver- thank you!
jessibell47- well, I thought that since I'm a little different, I should have a story that was like me. Well, that and the fact that it was a mean little story and went about kidnapping my muse and all... shesh...
Ok, so I'm going to get on with the part now, because I doubt many people are reading my mindless dribble anyway. Oh, and do you like the banner?... I made it myself!
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 8-Dec-2002 12:27:06 AM ]
|posted on 8-Dec-2002 12:29:22 AM by goddessgurl5000|
“I can’t believe you Max,” Isabel said. She had passed the screaming faze on the drive out to the secluded quarry that held the pod chamber. It was donned the meeting place for discussions of all things not human. “You of all people should have known better. You always yell at me for using my powers for little things. What they hell does fixing my nails matter compared to healing someone, a human no less, in a public place.”
“It wasn’t just any human though,” Michael piped in, in a mocking tone. “It was Liz Parker, queen of all.” Max glared at him, and Michael took up the challenge instantly.
“How could you let my delusional brother do something so stupid?” Isabel asked Michael, ignoring the power struggle between the two males. She paced the floor restlessly.
“Don’t you dare blame me for this!” Michael said, turning from Max. He had always thought that Max’s unhealthy obsession with Liz Parker would cause bad things. Pining after things that you couldn’t have could do no good. What was the point of ogling the girls on this planet when you knew that none of them would ever be able to accept you? It was pointless. That didn’t matter to Max though. No, because he had to fall for Liz freaking Parker. It was sick; that’s what it was. “You know as well as anyone that there’s no way to stop him when Liz Parker is involved. It’s useless!”
“Look,” Max said, trying to seem logical. Really, Michael and Isabel were scaring the hell out of him. One of them he could deal with. Maybe. The two of them together though was a different story. Together they both became like Michael, reckless and juvenile, blaming him for things that he couldn’t, nor would he want to, change. He stood by what he did for Liz Parker, which, in his mind, wasn’t nearly enough. “I told you that I was sorry.” It was a lame excuse and he knew it, but it was all that he could come up with.
“You’re sorry?” Isabel asked mockingly. “You’re sorry. Michael he’s sorry,” she said turning to their friend. “Well that totally makes up for you putting us all in danger.” She turned back to him, fiery anger blazing in her eyes mixed with betrayal. “You broke a pact Max; a pact we made years ago for all of our protection. You can’t just say you’re sorry and make up for it. It’s so much farther than that now. Things have changed.”
“Nothing has changed,” Max tried to tell them. They weren’t listening to him anymore though. He was the odd one out, and unfortunately for him they had long ago decided that they would work in a democracy. That used to mean good things for him. He was the middle person who both sides turned to. Now he was the middle person who both sides turned on. He liked things better the first way.
“Everything has changed,” Michael said. He looked around the room as if he were looking for someone else to appear. Finally he told them what he was thinking. “It’s time that we leave Roswell.”
Max started to protest. They couldn’t leave Roswell. Roswell was home, but even beyond that Roswell was normal. Even with things like the Crash festival and the little green “aliens” everywhere, it was the tiny piece of normality that everyone could count on. Leaving Roswell meant that they were running, and that meant that they lost everything that they had tried so hard to create for themselves. He looked to Isabel, hoping that even she would think that Michael was going too far. He was wrong.
“You saw what?” Alex asked. He knew that Maria had a tendency to stretch things; pretty much everyone in Roswell did. He just didn’t know how she could get to the fact that his hand glowed.
“That’s not all Alex,” Maria said, standing and walking to Liz’s bed. She looked at him, expecting him to follow, even though he knew that she knew he didn’t want to see what Liz looked like up close. It was so much easier to misplace the sickly tint of her once perfectly tanned skin and the IV’s that were constantly keeping her from falling even deeper into the world that existed only in the confines of her mind. It was so much easier to pretend that it was all just make believe when he was far away, but for Maria he would make it seem real. Only for Maria.
“I wanted her to be comfortable,” she explained, watching Alex rise from the couch, “so I decided to change the sheets and put her in some normal pajamas.” Alex had thought that Liz’s parents had done that. He should have known that only Maria would think of something like that. While her parents broke down, unable to face the fact that they might lose their precious Liz, Maria found ways to keep herself busy, all the while convincing herself that Liz would come back to them. Alex longed for the ability to believe in the fairy tale ending like she did. Unfortunately he knew that real life wasn’t always obligated to give you a happy ending. Sometimes the bad guy won, parents broke up, true love faded into nothing, and best friends could die. It was times like this that he hated the fact that he had never learned to lie to himself.
“Alex, while I was changing her clothes I found this.” Maria lifted Liz’s shirt so that Alex could see a pale silver handprint glowing over the stitches in Liz’s stomach. His own stomach lurched as he backed away. “I think that the doctors assumed that it was a tattoo, probably temporary since it’s so silver.” She dropped Liz’s shirt and pulled the blankets back over her before walking back to Alex. “She didn’t have anything like that before though Alex. That didn’t appear until after Max Evans touched her. It wasn’t even there when they loaded her into the ambulance.” She looked Alex dead in the eye. “Now tell me what would cause that.”
Alex looked at her silently, and they both knew that he had no answer. “So what do you think now?” Maria asked him after a moment.
Alex looked at Liz, finally seeing her for what was there. He saw his best friend, so tiny and fragile, trapped in a hospital bed by the frailty of her own body, and he want to cry. “I think that we could really use Liz's help right now.”
Max looked at Isabel, hating Michael for leaving him in the position that he had, and hating himself for letting Michael put him in that position. Michael had always longed for a way out of Roswell, but he was unwilling to leave without Max and Isabel, the only connection his past that he had. Now he had a way to pull them along with him, no matter what pain he caused to Isabel and Max.
It wasn’t that he didn’t care about them, because Max knew that he did, no matter how much he tried to hide it. He just hated Roswell. Unlike Max and Isabel, Michael had run from the chance at a home, though he hadn’t known what he was doing at the time. For that he cursed the town, and spent all of his time trying to free himself from the entanglement of the social service department, knowing that that would be his one chance to break out.
Because of his hatred for Roswell, Isabel sat crying on Max’s bed, seeking the comfort of her older brother. She hated him for what he was making them do, not seeing that Michael could be faulted in any way, but still needing him to tell her that it would be okay. If only he had the faith in her plan that her needs insisted.
“Isabel,” Max said, kneeling in front of his sister, “think about this.” He was down on his knees begging and they both knew it. “We don’t have to leave. We both don’t want to, and Michael will not leave without us. You know that he won’t. Isabel, you need to back me up if you want to stay.”
Isabel stood up, brushing him away from her with the coldness that she had perfected over the years and Max knew that his begging had been in vain. “I want to stay Max. I love our life here. It’s normal and safe and I know—knew that I was safe here. It’s all changed now though, Max. This is our only option.”
“Nothing has changed,” Max said, though deep down he knew that he was fighting in vain. Once Isabel had made up her mind, nothing could change it. Still he had to fight for the only home that he had ever known. “Liz is in a coma. She doesn’t know what happened to her. Even if she does, she can’t tell anyone.” It pained Max to talk about Liz as if she were never going to wake, but he knew that he had to. The mere thought of Liz waking would cause Isabel to disregard anything he said. Everything truly would change if she woke, though no one really knew if it would be for better or for worse. “No one saw me, and Liz can’t tell anyone what happened.”
“I know that you want to believe that Max,” Isabel said, looking right at him. “But you know that you can’t be sure of that. You can’t just assume that no one saw you heal someone in a crowded restaurant, and I know that inside you really don’t believe that. I know you well enough to know that you aren’t naive enough to believe the no one thought to look over the counter, and I’m not willing to wait and find out whether you were right or not.”
“Isabel,” Max said, the pleading clearly evident in his voice. “If someone would have seen me, don’t you think that they would have said something by now? What could they possibly be waiting for?”
“Maybe they did say something,” Isabel said, looking around Max’s room again. “Maybe they told the FBI and even if we do run it won’t matter because they’re already watching us. Maybe we’re goners no matter what.” She looked at Max and he was surprised to see that she truly believed what she was saying.
“Isabel, they would not just watch us,” Max said, though he looked out his window for a moment, scanning the familiar street. “Besides, no one saw me,” he repeated once again. His insistence was futile though, and he knew it.
“I know that you want to believe that Max. I really do.” Isabel hated what they were doing and she knew that her brother did too, but she couldn’t take the risk that he was wrong. In any other circumstance she would have followed Max blindly, knowing that he would never lead her into danger, but she also knew that, at least when it came to Liz Parker, her brother didn’t always think with his brain. He would insist that he thought with his heart, but she had a feeling that another part of the male anatomy had a little more control over his thoughts than he was willing to admit.
“So what does that mean?” Max asked, already knowing her answer.
“That means that it’s still two against one Max.” She turned and walked to Max’s door. When she stood under the frame she turned back. “I’m sorry,” she told him. And then she closed the door.
Alex wasn’t sure what he was doing. He had just jumped in his car, only really knowing where he wanted to end up. This was not his plan. He had wanted to go back to The Crashdown. He had decided to go by daily since he knew that Liz’s parents could use all of the comfort they could get. They both came up to the hospital and stayed as long as they would let themselves, hating that they couldn’t bring themselves to stay with their daughter. They relied on him and Maria to make sure that she was alright and no one blamed them one bit for not being there constantly. Alex thought that everyone knew that they would go insane if there just stayed there. Knowing that they might lose their daughter was one thing, but watching her slip away before their eyes was just too much.
Alex didn’t blame them one bit for not wanting to be in that hospital room. He didn’t want to be there either, but he would, for Liz. Really, he shouldn’t have been able to stay there as much as he did. They really weren’t supposed to be in there at any times except for during visiting hours, but Maria had practically forced the hospital to let them stay, and, with the consent of the Parkers, the hospital conceded.
Alex chose to still go to school. He knew that both he and Maria would not be able to catch up if they both stayed with Liz, so he went to school and brought back what they needed. Besides that and the new tradition of going to see the Parkers, he was always there. Except for right then of course. Right then he was somewhere that he never thought that he would have come while Liz was in the hospital. It wasn’t someplace that he expected to be during normal times. After all, he didn’t know the Evans all that well. Still, he found himself climbing from inside of his car and walking up the path to the door.
He almost walked away. He wanted to, but he couldn’t. He was a prisoner to his friends, even if they didn’t want him to be. He would do anything for Liz and Maria, and the simple memory of Liz, perfect, straight A, never said a bad thing about anyone, Liz, replaced by the shell of a person that lay in the hospital room with her name on it, drove him to knock on the door.
It didn’t take long for Isabel Evans to come to the door. Alex had almost forgotten that she lived there. The key word there would be almost. Alex couldn’t forget about Isabel. It was a little part of being completely obsessed with her. Alex had had a crush on Isabel Evans for longer than he cared to share with anyone. She seemed to him like the epitome of perfection. She was beautiful with her long blond hair and stunning blue eyes. She had curves in all the right places and knew just how to make you notice that. She knew that she had every guy in West Roswell High’s attention and pretty much every one of them would walk over hot coals to do her bidding. Or maybe Alex just thought so because he saw everything through Isabel colored glasses.
She shifted from one foot to the other, carefully reminding him that he was staring. “You have two seconds to speak before I close the door.” She lifted her hand and held up her index finger, quickly joined by her middle finger. She swung her hips to close the door, but Alex managed to slip his foot in just in time. “What do you think--?”
“I need to talk to Max,” Alex said quickly. Isabel rolled her eyes and re opened the door to let him in. Without a word he followed her into the living room where Max was watching something on the television. He quickly stood as Alex walked into the room while Isabel simply sat in a chair across the room.
“Alex,” Max said, obviously surprised that he was there. Alex didn’t blame him. He would have been surprised too. “What are you doing here?”
“Actually,” Alex said, “I need to talk to you. Can we talk alone?”
Isabel stood from her chair. “Whatever you have to say to Max you can say to me,” she told Alex. Max seemed to want to go elsewhere, but wasn’t willing to anger Isabel more than he already had. Alex cursed horrible timings, wishing that he had either brought Maria or come when Isabel wasn’t pissed off. Or maybe he should have just tried to come when she wasn’t there. Or, even better, he could have not come at all. Suddenly thinking of Liz, Alex banished the thought and sat, silently declaring truce. The siblings followed suit.
“I didn’t really plan on coming here,” Alex said awkwardly. There was a reason that he clung to Liz and Maria like he did. He made a horrible first impression, and stuck to people who had met him while everyone was clumsy and by now knew that, unlike everyone else, it was not just a stage he would grow out of. “It’s just… I talked to Maria today, and well she told me something and I thought that I needed to talk to you.” Max and Isabel shared a look, but Alex chose to ignore it, knowing that if he got off topic he would never get to say what he meant to. “She saw what you did Max; I mean she saw what you did to Liz.” A look of unadulterated fear passed over the Evans faces so Alex rushed on. “I didn’t come because I want something for what I know, or because I need to know how you did what you did. I just needed to tell you that Maria and I are really grateful. Maria seems to think that whatever you did may have saved Liz, and if you saved my best friend I know that you can’t be bad. I just needed you to know that.”
Max waned to say something, but he was too stunned, so all he could do was watch as Alex got up to walk out, then, as if just remembering something he had forgotten, he stopped in the doorway. “Oh, and Max?” Max looked up at the boy who held his forbidden secret in his hands. “I’m sure that Liz would appreciate a visit.” And then he left, leaving only confusion in his wake.
[ edited 2 time(s), last at 8-Dec-2002 12:44:46 AM ]
|posted on 21-Dec-2002 1:58:30 AM by goddessgurl5000|
Ok, I'm just checking in. I'm finally on break so I will have some time to catch up on my writing! (Yay!) Part Two of this is almost finished. I have to have my friend beta it too, so it probably won't be posted until a little after Christmas, if I get the part done tonight. (Don't worry; it really is almost finished.) Alright, I'm pretty sure that I had something else to say, but if I did it just flew right out of my head... I'll probably remember as soon as I post. Anyway, I guess I'm done then...
Oh yeah, thanks to all of you who are reading it. I LOVE the feedback. It keeps me going.
|posted on 7-Jan-2003 1:49:57 AM by goddessgurl5000|
|Alright, I know that I promised a new part during break, and yes, break is over. And I have the part about half way finished. I would have finished it, but at the moment my computer is sitting on the floor until we get the desk moved in. That makes it slightly hard to write. I do think that I will be able to finish it in a couple weeks though, because dead week is coming up... (And yes, I know that I should be studying for finals then, but I really don't think that any amount of last minute cramming will help me enough on my finals... and I already know that I'm going too do horribly on French...) Anyway, dead week is next week so I'll probably work on it then, and, if I'm still concious enough to read after my finals I should be able to proofread it after my finals, so basicly, there are a couple more weeks... but I swear, there is a part coming... really!|
|posted on 20-Jan-2003 4:02:13 AM by goddessgurl5000|
|I'm back with the part! Yay!|
roswellluver- I know... isn't Alex just great?
Areilya- I know that Max said that he didn't do enough for Liz, but I don't remeber him saying that he was sorry for it. I know that he appologized in the pod chamber, but he appologized on the show too. And thank you!
roswelllostcause- I know what you mean. Some authors can be so mean. They just leave things in horrible places and then leave for months on end. *cough*almost every author I read!*cough* (And I was a month-ish!)
jessibelle47- I know! Alex is the coolest... He is NOT to be killed! It's just wrong!
OK, and everyone wish me luck on finals, and any french wizzes out there who would like to lend me their knowlege would be my best friends right now!
Ok, I'm done. On with the part!
|posted on 20-Jan-2003 4:10:00 AM by goddessgurl5000|
We really didn’t know what life on the road was like. I think that we had romanticized it with years of road rules and interviews with the bands. Of course, we didn’t take into consideration that we were not just on the road… we were also on the run.
Someone is always fighting with someone else. Well, everyone except for Isabel, that is. I think that it’s all really getting to her. She’s lost so much in the past year, but we were all doing so much that I don’t think that she really had time to think about it. Now all she has is time, and it’s not helping her.
Kyle tries to be there for her. He wants to feel like he really has some purpose on this trip, and I think that we all see that Isabel needs the most taking care of. She doesn’t like the help though. She doesn’t want us to see that she’s hurting. She wants to pretend that it’s all okay, and I guess that while things are silent she can make believe that they are.
Isabel isn’t the only one having trouble though. She’s just showing it the most. I can see it in everyone though, and I’m sure that they can see it in me.
Max and Michael hate that we have to be here. It’s like they think that they failed because we’re running. It might have been better if we could have gotten into Mexico. Instead we’re trapped inside of our own country. I honestly think that our only lucky break has been the fact that the FBI can’t officially search for us. Sure, everyone in the special unit is looking for us, which I’m sure is no small number, but at least the police officers and the people we see on the street can still look at us and feel safe.
Maria likes to act like she wants to be here, but I know that she hates it too. She’s the only one who could really stay. She didn’t need to worry about getting angry and suddenly starting an electrical storm like Kyle and I did, yet she still chose to come. She can still go home someday. She won’t though. I know that she’ll stay here as long as I’m here, and some days—most days—I hate knowing that if it hadn’t been for me she would still be safely at home. Really, if it hadn’t been for me, they would all be at home, safe and sound.
Maybe that’s why I feel so bad about all of this. Deep down, I know that everyone would have been better off if Max had chosen to eat elsewhere that hectic day just three years ago. If only he had listened to Michael and let me die, they could all still be living.
“You’ve what?” Michael asked. Isabel and Max could tell that he was beyond pissed off. They had given him hope, and then ripped it away with three simple words.
“We’re not leaving.” It was Isabel who said it. She was still furious with her brother for what he did and the fact that he didn’t seem to think that he had done all that much wrong, but she didn’t want to leave Roswell. She was the unpredictable element this time. Her need for home made the whole plan seem ludicrous to her, yet nightmares of the sheriff—with his reflective black glasses that concealed any emotion that his barren eyes might leak—drove her to think that the plan might just be their salvation. She had needed something to tip her back, and Alex Whitman he been the perfect something.
“You’re just not leaving?” There was more than a touch of sarcasm in Michael’s voice. “What are you talking about Isabel? We have to leave. I thought that you understood that!”
“We don’t have to do anything,” Max said. He knew that if he stayed silent Isabel might retreat. She wasn’t securely on either side, but, for the moment, she had fallen towards him. He wasn’t about to let Michael pull her back.
“Maxwell, you don’t get any say in this.” Max was almost stunned. Michael was known to be fairly incapable of social interaction but generally he wasn’t just outright mean to Max or Isabel. “You lost that chance when you went behind that counter.”
“Michael,” Isabel said, trying to diffuse a fight that was waiting to happen, “I don’t want to leave, and I don’t think that we have to.”
“What?” Isabel looked at Michael, confusion purely evident on his voice. His anger from speaking to Max was gone. He always had a different, though not always noticeably, demeanor around Isabel, but even she thought that his question was odd. He actually wanted to know what someone else was thinking? If it had happened under different circumstances, Isabel would have asked to feel his head.
“I want to know what Max said to you to make you think that Roswell is safe. I want to know what would make you risk having all of those nightmares become a reality for all of us.”
Isabel looked at the floor, refusing let Michael dredge up the nightmares that he knew had plagued her for longer than she cared to remember. “It wasn’t Max. It was Alex.” Michael then took on the look of confusion.
“Alex?” He seemed to think about the name. “Do you mean Whitman? What could he have possibly said to change your mind? You don’t even know him.”
“No, I don’t,” Isabel said. “But he said something more heartfelt than either of you have said through this whole thing. Someone did see Max, Michael. Does that make you feel better? Does it make you feel good to know that you were right?” She looked at him, and, had he been anyone else, he would have backed away from her. The anger was pure and unadulterated as it shone in her eyes, and Michael did not like that it was aimed at him. “Alex told us that Maria saw that Max did something to Liz. He didn’t come to turn us in though. He wanted to thank us, Michael. And you know what? That was enough to change my mind.”
“Isabel, are you insane?” Michael asked. Her anger still blazed fiercely, but he was never one to back down from a fight. “If Maria saw Max, how do you know that no one else did?”
“We don’t,” Max said. “But if someone did, then it won’t matter whether we run now or later. If someone saw and told someone what they saw then we’re already screwed. They’d already be watching us, and they would follow where we went. What’s the difference between leaving now and leaving once we know if someone else saw?”
“We have a chance now,” Michael said, but the all too familiar feeling of defeat had pitted itself in his stomach. “They might not be here yet.”
“Michael,” Isabel said, letting her voice soften, “don’t do this. You have to see the truth in this. We may have to run. It may come to that. Until it does, though, I want to stay here. Why is the road so much more appealing to you? Why is Roswell such a horrible place?”
“Isabel, I’m not like you and Max,” Michael said, letting a tinge of anger enter his voice. “I didn’t get the perfect parents with the white picket fence and the two point five kids. I got an alcoholic, temperamental foster dad who only lets me borrow a room because the state pays him off. You know what else Isabel? I don’t hate him like I hated some of the others. He’s at least honest about how he feels about me, and sometimes he gives me a head start. It’s not the fake smiles and uncomfortable dinners that I’ve been put through. It’s not a constant watching because I’m reckless.” He looked pointedly at Max then.
“Michael,” Isabel started. Michael turned his back though.
“No Isabel,” he told her. “Don’t even say it. Your mind is made up. If Roswell is so special to you, let it be scarred with the truth of what’s to come. Whatever happens, remember the sides. At some point, white picket fence might not be so appealing.” He turned from the siblings, and climbed out the window and back into the darkness of night.
“Kyle!” Maria said, standing from her place beside Liz. She still clutched Liz’s hand in hers, using it as a reason to not approach Kyle. She couldn’t help the anger that she had built up against him. Liz had been in the hospital for almost a week and he was just coming in for the first time. As far as Maria was concerned, Liz was far too good for Kyle. She wouldn’t say anything though, as long as Liz was happy, but as soon as Liz told her that Kyle had gone too far, and Maria knew that he would, she was going to give him the ass kicking of a lifetime. She couldn’t wait.
“Hi Maria,” Kyle said, vaguely looking at Liz on the bed. “I didn’t know that you would be here.”
Well maybe if you would have come before, Maria thought bitterly. “I’m always here,” she answered, taking her seat beside Liz.
“Well, I kind of wanted to talk to Liz,” Kyle said awkwardly. He looked at Maria who rolled her eyes. She squeezed Liz’s hand and then set it back atop the sheets that she had replaced not long before.
“I’ll be right back Lizzy,” she told her friend. She walked to the door and then turned back to Kyle. “If you’re going to try to break up with her, you’d better tell me, because I don’t think that she will remember and I will need to know that I have to kick you ass.” Kyle smirked lightly until Maria’s eyes narrowed on him. He dropped his eyes and Maria left.
“Hey Liz,” Kyle said. The whole situation felt awkward. It was like talking to a sleeping person. He wanted to go and press on her shoulders and just make her wake up; she looked like she was just sleeping, though the tubes and IVs took quite a bit away from the illusion. “They say that you can still hear me. I kind of hope that you can’t.” He sat in the chair beside her bed and looked just at her face. She was a few shades paler and her skin color was just off. It wasn’t quite the light brown color that she held nearly all round, but it seemed more like a child’s drawing, slightly askew, but indecipherably. Her lips, once a beautiful crimson with a perfect pout, had lost their color and her voice, so beautifully sweet and yet seductive at the same time, was trapped somewhere within.
“I mean, it has to be a little frightening at least,” he continued, standing again. He didn’t want to be that close to Liz. He didn’t want to call the person that sat before him Liz. “Would you just hear random voices pop into your head at any moment? Is there just blackness, and then a voice?” Kyle sighed and ran his hand through his light brown hair. “God, I’m so bad at this. You shouldn’t have to listen to this. I’m just going to go Liz.” Kyle leaned forward in an attempt to lay a kiss on Liz’s cheek, but he pulled back at the last moment, unable to complete the simple task. “I’m sorry.” And then he rushed from the room.
“I wouldn’t go in there,” Maria said, stepping forward from the vending machine. Max looked at her in surprise and dropped his hand from the door handle.
“Kyle’s in there right now,” Maria told him. “Don’t worry though; he shouldn’t be long. Kyle doesn’t have the stomach for hospitals.” She smiled reassuringly at Max, who found it slightly ironic. She was the one who was fighting for her friend’s life, yet she was reassuring him. “You can keep me company. He kicked me out.” Maria started down the hallway and Max scrambled after her. Soon he found himself at the elevator. Maria stepped in and pushed the button for the floor beneath them. Max stepped in obediently and stood quietly as the elevator went down, pulling him away from Liz.
The elevator stopped and Maria stepped out with Max in tow. She turned left and walked down the hallway for about a minute until she came to a window that looked into the nursery. “Sometimes it just gets to be too much up there,” she explained, “and I just need a break. I found out that this was the best escape. No matter what is going on up there, this can counter it. It’s everything that up there isn’t.
“It’s not fake down here. They don’t have to try to make you feel happy, because the babies do that for them. It’s already bright and cheery. They could be in a black room, and people would still smile. It’s life; it’s the beginning; it’s the only time that things can really be called perfect.” She paused and looked in at the babies. A faint smile graced her lips.
“Did you know that this isn’t the only nursery?” she asked him, never turning from the window. He shook his head, and she continued, though he wasn’t sure that she had seen him. “There’s another nursery, but it’s not as public. It’s not happy.
“These are the healthy babies. There’s no question about their future. In a couple days they’ll be gone, and even for the days that they are here, they will spend a lot of time with their new parents. Then new healthy babies will come and take their places, and it will all happen again. They keep the healthy babies together. The babies that are sick aren’t so special. They stay in their nursery, and their parents come to them. They touch them, but they can’t hold them, and worst of all, they live with the machines. In there,” she said, pointing to the room in front of them, “there is something as near to silence as a room full of infants can get. The other babies have the noise. They might not make it to see the next day and they have to put up with the noise.”
She paused again, and Max thought that she was finished. After a moment though, Max saw her close her eyes and as he looked at her he could see a pool of water gathering in her lashes, threatening to fall. “Liz’s room is noisy.”
“Alex what are you doing here?” Mrs. Parker asked, seeing the boy walk through the restaurant’s large doors. She had thought that he would be at the hospital. She liked knowing that her baby had the love of her friends with her. She hated knowing that she couldn’t bring herself to give her daughter the love of her mother while she laid trapped in her own mind, unable to find the exit sign.
“I thought that I would come see you,” he told her. His backpack was slung over his scrawny shoulder, weighing him down twice as much due to Maria’s homework. “I just wanted to come by.”
“Thank you Alex,” Mrs. Parker said. She hugged the boy tightly. He was like the son that she never had, and Maria was like a second daughter. She didn’t know what she would have done without them through this. They were the ones who made her feel better about not being there. Their eyes silently told her that she could leave. They would care for Liz when she couldn’t. They understood.
“It’s nothing,” he told her, realizing just what she meant. “I thought that I could bring some things from Liz’s room back with me too. I thought that it might give the room a little personality.” Mrs. Parker nodded, and a tinge of regret gathered in her eyes. It was something that she should have done, and yet she couldn’t.
“You know where it is. I have some things that I want to finish up here, and then I think that I might come up to the hospital a little later. You go ahead though. I’ll be a while still.”
“Okay. I’ll tell Maria that we’re expecting company.” He smiled and walked in back to get to Liz’s room, and ascended the stairs that he knew so well from Saturday movie nights, Ben and Jerry’s sleepovers after countless break ups, and infinite sick days, labeled with chicken soup. He knew the Parker’s house as well as his own, maybe better. Nothing changed at the Parker’s. They couldn’t just randomly rearrange things, because the entire downstairs was the restaurant, and the rooms upstairs seemed pretty explanatory. You can’t turn a room with a toilet, for example, into a bedroom. Well, you could, but Alex assumed that the sleepovers would have been a lot less common.
Alex’s house, on the other hand, was constantly changing. His mother was constantly repainting something, or buying something new because it fit with the room better, or completely changing the rooms. She had switched his room with his parents’ room once because she thought that he had a better view. He wasn’t really sure what that view was of, but apparently his was better.
Alex reached the top of the stairs and took in the house. The only change that he could se was that it looked a little bit cleaner. Not that it was normally dirty. He could just tell that Mrs. Parker had been cleaning. Of course, he did know that she had a tendency to clean when she was nervous, so maybe he was just projecting what he thought that house should look like onto what it actually looked like. Alex shook his head. Psychology books made you think odd things.
Alex walked into Liz’s room, and was surprised to find it untouched. On Liz’s bed was her backpack, slightly opened and filled with books. Beside it were the clothes that she had planned to wear when she got off work. Alex knew that she always laid something out before she started her shift. It was a Liz thing to do.
He was surprised that it was still there, though. He thought that Liz’s mom would have cleaned up in there too. Then again, maybe she didn’t want to change things. Either way, nothing in the room had been touched. Alex felt like he was tearing down a shrine by removing things.
Alex walked around the room, unsure of what to take. He wanted something to brighten the room, but he didn’t want to take too much time getting things. He hated leaving the hospital and knowing that Liz wasn’t coming with him, but he also knew that the whole world wouldn’t stop for them, and he hated that he had to be able to see that. He wanted to believe that the whole world was out there crying at the thought of loosing someone as precious as Liz; hell he would have been happy to believe that all of Roswell was worried. Instead he had to know that he majority of West Roswell High didn’t even know Liz by anything but “that really smart girl.”
Alex found a picture of Maria, Liz and him after eight grade graduation and picked it up. It was a start. He dropped his backpack to the floor and started his collection.
Max couldn’t help but brush his hand across her face. He wanted her to know that he was there. He wanted her to feel comfort in a dreary place. He wanted her to take comfort from him. He wanted her to know that he hadn’t left her. He wanted her to know so much, but all that he could do at the moment was touch her face.
Maria stood outside, hovering beside the vending machine. Max still couldn’t shake off her earlier words.
Liz’s room is noisy.
It was an undeniable fact. The buzz of a single machine was low and unnoticeable, but in Liz’s room the array of machines made an almost tangible sound. It could easily be covered by the sound of doting family members, but in Liz’s room they were the only sound, and that only made them louder. It gave them a power, a power to inflict pain.
“Hi Liz,” Max said quietly, needing to do something to block out some of the noise. He stared at her hand, letting his thumb gently caress it. He didn’t want to look at her face anymore. He didn’t want to think about where she was. Her hand looked the same. It was the same hand that had passed him lab sheets in bio, and the same hand that placed food on his table at The Crashdown. It was the same hand that he had seen dozens of times, but it was no longer connected to the beautiful, spirited, shining Liz Parker, and he was to blame for that. He was the reason that she was paused in a place of limbo, and the reason that everyone had to fear for what would happen to her. It was his fault because he was too scared to finish what he had started. He had let himself think of Isabel and Michael, and he couldn’t finish. When Michael had pulled him back, he had conceded.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, knowing that if he looked to her face he wouldn’t be able to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. “I’m so sorry.”
Max looked up as the door opened and Alex stepped inside. A huge backpack was thrown over his shoulder, and as soon as he got in the door he dropped it on the floor, flexing his shoulders as the weight was lifted from them. That was all the time it took for him to notice Max sitting on Liz’s bedside, hunched and trying to keep from crying. Instantly he froze, unsure of what to do.
It was then Alex’s turn to be surprised. He really hadn’t expected Max to come in. With the look that he had seen on the Evans’ faces the night before, he hadn’t really expected them to still be in town.
“Max,” Alex said, adding a small nod to show that he was still welcome. Alex picked the bag back up and walked to the couch, flipping it open. Inside was everything that he had been willing to take from Liz’s room. There were pictures, dolls, and a few other things that he knew would make the room more Liz-like.
“Alex,” Max said, using the same nod and watching as he walked across the room. He hoped that his voice wasn’t shaking. He placed his hand over Liz’s, wanting her to know that he hadn’t left but incapable of speech when others were around. Instead he discreetly watched as Alex decorated the room. He knew that Alex knew that he was watching, but he didn’t know what to say, so he just continued.
“I know how you felt about her,” Alex mumbled, placing a picture of him, Liz, and Maria posing outside of their old middle school smiling giddily at the camera as they tossed their report cards towards the sky.
Max looked up and found Alex’s silently demanding eyes staring back at him. “What?”
“I’m her best friend Max,” Alex said, turning away from both Max and the bed. “I saw how you looked at her; I knew that you cared about her, and yet you were never willing to tell her.” He placed another picture on the table by the small window that looked out on the only thing that Roswell had to call downtown. “Unfortunately, you may have already lost your chance.”
The door swung open before Max could reply and Maria came in, carrying a salad from the kitchen with her. “Alex,” she said, showing no sign of the earlier Maria that Max had seen in the nursery, “I didn’t know that you were here.” And that was when Max saw it. They were both hiding from each other. Silently they both feared for Liz’s recovery, and deep down they both knew that things weren’t going to be easy, but for each other they did their best to hide the truth.
“I just got here. I brought some things from the house.” Alex gestured around the room and pulled some more things from the bag. Maria slowly made her way around the room and looked at what he had brought. As she went she decided to explain things to Max.
“This was us in first grade,” she said, gesturing a picture of her and Liz lounging in a booth at The Crashdown with their feet pulled onto the seats in front of them. Liz was smiling to show a missing tooth. “Nancy was going through her photography phase. She put us in every possible pose that we could have in the restaurant and then made us stand there while she took pictures and then while everyone admired us.” She looked up at Max from the corner of her eye. “I think that that was also when we started to hang out at my house.”
“I did not like that phase,” Alex chimed in.
“You’re just scared of my mom.”
“Damn right! And you would be too if she told you that your gender was eternally damned when you were nine.” Max smiled and Maria shook her head, moving on to the next picture.
“Whatever, Alex; you’re just a wuss and you know it,” Maria said, but she smiled when she said it. “Oh, my God!” Both boys’ head swiveled toward the blonde, but Alex turned away when he saw what she was looking at. “Oh, Alex, Liz will kill you if she sees this picture.” Maria turned back to Max, showing him the picture as she did. Liz was standing by the door of The Crashdown, obviously going to school, judging by her back pack and lunch box. She didn’t look much older than six, but she looked like she wanted to be anywhere but where she was.
“This was Nancy’s one and only attempt at clothes making. She was so proud of it, and I know that she loved making it. I think she knew that Liz didn’t like it though, and she would do anything for Liz. She’s her world.”
Max had unconsciously laid his hand back on Liz’s and suddenly it began to feel very warm. As Maria went onto the next picture, Max looked down at Liz. Her eyes were still closed, but he knew that something was different. It was calling to him. Before he knew it, the flashes came.
She could feel him watching her as he stepped off of the bus. She twisted her neck, expecting to find one of the boys that were always chasing her and her friend around. Instead a new boy stepped onto the playground. She could see fear in his eyes, the fear that came from a new town, a new family, and a new school, all in a matter of weeks, as he clutched onto the hand of the girl beside him and she smiled at him. He smiled back, and a little of the fear dissolved.
“James broke up with me.”
The words had been said many times, though the name had varied, and her friends were ready and waiting. It was a little thing, and they all knew that it the wound would be healed in no more than a day, but they did what friends do, and they gathered money and bought all of the ice cream that they dared to eat. Empty boxed dripping with the sticky substance would surround them by the time that morning came, but they knew that before hand, and their friend was worth it. She would do it for them, and so three spoons were drawn, the movie was started, and slowly tears would fade to hiccups and, sometimes, depending on the movie, even a laugh. By morning the ex was long forgotten, and the musketeers were closer.
“Max Evans is staring at you again.”
“No way Maria; that is so in your imagination.” Still she looked over her shoulder…
She hit the floor. She could feel the blood as it covered her dress. It was the only warm thing that she could still feel, and then there were hands. One fell on her stomach, frantically groping for the wound. The other came to her cheek.
“Look at me Liz! I need you to look at me!” She tried, and finally her eyes inched open. Instantly her body flooded with heat. When the hands pulled back, there was no more pain. As her eyes focused, the familiar face of Max Evans came into view, and she struggled to sit up. He was already on his feet though, as she sat up. His eyes searched for something until they came to the bottle of ketchup. He poured it over the blood that had stained her uniform as she looked on.
“You spilled ketchup on yourself when you fell,” he told as he stood. An engine roared to life outside and he ran for the door. She stood just in time to see him jump into his jeep and fly away.
“We make our own destiny,” he had told her, and once she had believed him. She still did, in fact. She just knew what a high cost there was to pay. She also knew just how fast a heart could abandon you. She still wasn’t sure which lesson had been harder to learn
They were meant to be; she knew that. They were soulmates in every meaning of the word. Sometimes, though, business came before pleasure, and she knew that that would be there downfall. In the end, they couldn’t choose each other when they knew what it would cause, and, though he would never know the truth of her actions, she knew his heart, and she knew what he would have done. They had been doomed from the day he healed her. He had used his selfish act on her, and she couldn’t use hers against them. She gave up her heart, in hopes that she could save her body. Had those been the only things at stake though, she didn’t think she would have taken the same path.
She had watched them kiss, and she had heard the words that he had told her. Of course, she had also heard the words that she had told him, and, though it hurt, she knew that she had to accept both things. Her lies had been the end of them, and now she had to live with the life that she had created. The future was already laid out, but this time she was the first to live it. If her choice was wrong, she would have no one left to warn her before everything crashed down upon them.
Isabel and Maria cried at the ceremony. Kyle and Michael laughed, and they could only see happiness in their futures. She cried only four tears, one for each of the people who had missed her day: her parents, Alex, and the beloved Grandma Claudia.
They kissed as they ran from the building, rejoicing in bliss of finally beating destiny. He didn’t dare utter the words though, for he knew as well as anyone that the words no longer had the meaning that they had when he had said them. Too much had happened, too much had been lost, and deep down everyone knew that at best they had a draw. It was more than they had even dared to wish for, though, over the past months, and so they laughed, and started anew, hoping that the past would stay where it belonged.
Oh, and the quotes are not exact!
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 20-Jan-2003 5:02:58 PM ]