posted on 8-Dec-2002 9:41:17 AM by Unknown_Star
I don't know how I shall continue this or even if I should continue this. But I just felt like writing it and now I'm posting it.


Author: Unknown_Star (supergirl.1⊕web.de)
Title: Stop it
Rating: PG-13
Category: M/L
Spoiler: post Departure
Disclaimer: Roswell and its charakters belong to .. I don't know ... I think it's JK. However, I do own nothing ... maybe except of the clone of Jason Behr I keep in my closet.
Short-Cut: Liz has finally come to a decision.
Author’s note: While reading this you’ll have to always keep in mind that English isn’t my mother tongue. I’m doing my best here, so don’t be too cruel. Criticism is loved and wanted.


Stop it.
Stop screaming,
Stop pleading,
Stop crying,
Stop it.

Stop it.
Stop aching,
Stop hurting,
Stop destroying,
Stop it.

Just stop it.
Stop beating,
Stop pumping,
Stop feeling,
Just stop living, my heart.

I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to take this. How much longer I can continue. My mind may take this though I’m ahead of going crazy. My body may take this though it’s nothing but a shell anymore. But my heart struggles for life. And I’m not so sure if I want it alive anymore.


Liz Parker closed her journal and laid the pencil aside. That was her life now. Sitting around and throwing herself a pity-party everytime she had the time. And that had been a lot lately. She just couldn’t stand it anymore. Maria and Michael looking like sick love puppies. Kyle joking around. Isabel getting all beneficial. And Max either stalking her to death or throwing his own pity-party.

The last months seemed like a bad dream, something out of a bad movie, but she didn’t care anymore. She was forced to live in the hell someone called life.

She remembered a time when life was all she ever wanted. That was before Tess joined the group. She had everything. Her two best friends, Maria and Alex, and the most loving and caring boyfriend. She had had a glimpse of heaven in order that she would know what she would be missing. Cruel fate.

But she also remembered the person she used to be. Stubborn and strong. A person she wanted to be again. It was shimmering just beneath the surface. She only had to reach for it.

I think I died again tonight.
I think no one knows.
I think no one cares,
But me.

You know Elizabeth Parker? Brown hair, brown eyes, about 5’ 6” and letting other people walk over her? You know what? She’s dead and now it’s just me anymore. You’ll have to deal. Now the fun can start.


TBC...

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 17-Dec-2002 12:49:46 PM ]
posted on 17-Dec-2002 12:46:23 PM by Unknown_Star
First of all, thanks for the wonderful feedback. I was really surprised. *big*

And I know, the new part isn't much and it's not even very good but ... I don't know.

Oh, and thanks for the idea of "Kick-ass-Liz" *lol*



Part 1

Liz walked around the hallways of West Roswell High, her newly chosen playground. She wasn’t going to sit around anymore and watch other people having fun. Oh no. She herself was going to have fun. She was going to show anyone what fun means. And she was going to enjoy every single bit of it.

That has been her intention when she had opened her drawer this morning. It worked. She wore a beige mini-skirt and a skin tight pink tank top. The guys were hot on her heels while the girls tried to figure out how much they hated her. She could only give them a pathetic smile.

She stopped by at her locker to gather her things. First period: Biology. Great. A smirk curled up at the corner of her lips. A certain Alien was going to have one hell of a time. Or at least she would have. The first bell rang and she quickly scooped her books up and headed toward the class room.

Max was sitting at their desk, pencil nervously patting against his book and his amber eyes staring into oblivion. Once Liz entered he looked up briefly. He took hungrily in her appearance. His eyes raked her body and made sure to miss no spot of her. Liz chuckled lightly as his eyes suddenly snapped to the front again and a look of pure sorrow crossed his face.

Fine, Liz said to herself, pity-party time again. She quickly went to the table and slit onto the seat next to him. He was rarely paying attention with his eyes on the blackboard though the teacher hadn’t even arrived.

“Well, Max, these blackboards are really interesting nowadays, aren’t they?” she asked with a small smile. Max turned to look at her. A look that really questioned if she had gone crazy while his jaw slowly began its descent onto the floor.

“Cat got your tongue?” she offered helpfully as he continued to stare at her. More precisely, as he continued to star at the edges of her décolleté.

“No … it’s just … yesterday, you barely even looked into my direction …and now …” he couldn’t finish the sentence. All the flesh he could see swirled through his mind and made speaking impossible. But that was only an addition to his tongue-tiedness around her since what happened with Tess. ‘Since I fucked up royally’, he added silently.

“I’m teasing you?” she threw in, annoyed by his stuttering.

By now, Max was confused as hell. What was happening to Liz? She was changed all of a sudden. During summer she has been closed off, talking to almost no one and spending only very little time out of the save four walls of her room. Why he knew that? He has been watching her like a lunatic.

That was when he wasn’t loathing in self-pity. And now there was this goddess, less than a foot away from him, with even more less clothing and not only talked to, but made fun of him.

He couldn’t follow that train of thoughts, for the teacher entered the room, holding a big staff of papers in front of him. “Morning class. We’re going to take a nice test today, seeing if you all got the Mitoses.” The class groaned in unison while Liz was jumping a little on her seat. God, that was much of a décolleté.

*~*~*

Liz had a hard time standing biology. As much as she liked the class, the whining hybrid next to her was just annoying. As soon as the bell rang she jolted out of her seat and picked up her things. She wasn’t going to take anymore of this longing stares into her direction. Well, she was but not from Max Evans.

She was about to go when a hand reached out and grabbed her shoulder. “What the he-“ she stopped in mid-sentence as she looked up into Max’s eyes. For a moment, she was lost in their amber depths before her mind focused back on the current situation. “What do you want?” she asked harshly.

“I … I just wondered that maybe … that is if you want … we could talk somewhere later. You know, about … stuff.” he said while looking straight at the floor. Maybe, she was ready to face things now. Maybe, they could even start over again, he hoped.

“That would be my pleasure …” Liz paused to see Max’s features lighten up. “… if I did actually keep company with losers.” His face fell in an instant. She turned around and left him behind in total shock. She couldn’t help the smile that spread over her face as she headed for her next class, never looking back. That went great.

“You’ll better finish your pity-party, Max Evans” she muttered to herself. “… because I will throw you a kick-your-ass-party.”


[ edited 1 time(s), last at 17-Dec-2002 12:48:25 PM ]