|posted on 31-Dec-2002 11:48:28 PM by talena|
Title: Peachy Keen
Authors: SweetLilDreamer (Mi) and talena (Jen)
Disclaimers: We don't own anything. We're broke. No.. Wait, yes, we own EVERYTHING and we really want you to sue us!! Oh! How fun! We can go to court, but which state?
Summary: Liz is just beginning to explore the college life and co-ed dorms, throw in an overprotective older brother, wacky best friend, a ex-boyfriend who won't go away, and a few other surprises.... life’s just peachy keen.
Category: M/L and some CCs
Genre/Rating: Humor/Romance | PG-13 no higher than a mild
This is the first time Amy and I have written together. Excuse us if there’s any choppiness. I really have no notes to add, you’ll figure out everything as the story goes on. Oh! This is also my first time at a story with no angst in it, er… hardly any angst. I might sneak some in though. Lemme see if Amy has any notes…Amy?
Amy: I was talking to my good friend Tess when she went crazy and killed herself. Something about not wanting to be in another story where everyone hates her. Now, my walls have blood ALL OVER THEM and my white carpet is a chilling scarlet. Blood is a bitch to get out.
But, as Jen said, the story is pretty self-explanatory. Hope you enjoy, and that we're funny enough.
Special thanks to Ely for the banner! We love you!
June 5th. Entry 26.
I'm Liz Parker and today is the first day of the rest of my life. Cliche, yes, but true. Today was the last day of high school. I will never see Pam Troy strutting around the school. I won't ever be going back to West Roswell High. Good bye to being spit on by Mr. Stieglman because I sat in the front row.
Farewell to the hierarchy of high school class, and most of all, sayonara to the ugly waitress uniforms that I am forced to wear day in and day out. I would burn the aqua...thing, but I'm pretty sure I'll start a forest fire or something with all the grease I'm sure it has collected over the years. Not saying that I don't wash it or anything, but I bet that the amount of grease and other unidentified things don't always come out in the wash.
Last, but certainly not all, Au Revoir to the crazy masses of alien fanatics that litter this forsaken town. Although I can definitely say I'll miss messing with their heads. Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm an alien Queen from the planet Antar sent here for a second chance in life. My destiny is to return and free my planet from a guy who can take over people's body and to destroy people who are raised in husks and whose skin peels off...ok, moving on…
And if you were wondering, I am not mental or insane. Nope, but don't ask my psychiatrist.
My family consists of an over protective older brother, Michael. Thank god he was in college this year or I know I would've killed him. Oh, why did I apply to UCLA? I knew Michael (and Max) are there. This must show you how brilliant I truly am. Mom and Dad. Hip hip hooray. Hm.. Well, there's always Maria, my best friend. I swear she's been a pig in her past life, constantly squealing that one. One of her talents, squealing. I'm jealous, I can't squeal to save my life. Then there's Alex, Star Wars nerd and Maria's brother. Max and Isabel, Max is the younger of the two and my brother's best friend. He's the "I want in your pants" type of guy and every girl wants in his pants (even me…no wait! Bad Liz! Bad! Excuse me while I smack myself because of my badness.) so it all worked out for him. *Insert the rolling of my eyes here* We used to be the greatest of friends and now...we're not. Isabel is.. well... She's scary. She's "I-Vant-To-Suuck-Your-Blood" scary. She always wears black and is unnaturally pale. You will hardly see her in the daytime. I think she's hiding a bat in her closet. And last but not least, Kyle, the best bud, besides Maria that is. Jock of the jocks, snobby rich kid, but he's really nice. We went on a few dates during senior year but that wore over and we're going strong. We're those cuddly-hugging-touchy-feeling-kissing type of friends. A big ball of intimacy…Life’s just peachy keen for me…
“LIZZIE!!!" A loud squeal cuts into the air of my room, and I'm thinking. MY PIGGIE IS HERE! Err...I mean, Maria's here!
"LIZZIE!" Again with the squealing, and with this squeal, my door bursts open to reveal the flower child herself, one Maria DeLuca. She doesn't even stop to let me say hello. She's still squealing about something, and I'm not even trying to decipher what she's squealing about. My Maria filter recently broke, I think I'm going to write to Santy Clause about getting a new one. And she's still squealing! So I'm sitting here staring and blinking at her as she bounces, literally bounces around my room to some imaginary song that only she can hear, babbling a mile a minute about college boys or something to that effect.
Let's tune back into our or should I say...her conversation.
"COLLEGE! Hm... Do you think they're be many hot guys there?" Leave it to Maria to worry about that kind of thing...although I'm kinda wondering about that myself.
"Cause I mean, in the brochures there are, but do you think they do it on purpose? Like, "don't choose the geeks! No one will want to come" or is it that they're COLLEGE GUYS and they're just... HOT?!" I open my mouth to say something, but she goes on, and I suddenly remember that once she gets going, no one, and I mean no one can get a word in until she's done. So I sit here counting the lint on my sweater. One, two, three...
"Oh... You'd think you're brother, huh? But Michael really isn't that bad. And it's UCLA! I mean, we're in Cali now, and if there ARE ugly guys, we can just, like... HIDE!"
Ten, eleven, twelve...
"Are you even listening?! Lizzie!" Shh woman! I'm trying to count lint!
I make a noise that sounds something like a snort and she seems to take this as a yes as she continues her little tirade. "Or maybe the geeky guys all hide, like in the library or something."
"What do you think?" Oh goody! My turn to bestow some of my great wisdom to the world!
Now if only I remember what I'm supposed to share my wisdom about? Lint? No that's not it! What was my little piggie squealing about now? I take a look at her and she's staring at me expectantly. Shit! What to say? What to say?! OH! I know!
"Krispy Kreme donuts are yummy."
Ha! That should do it! Nothing can go wrong if you have Krispy Kremes! I smile at her triumphantly and she stares back at me.
She narrows her eyes, "Are you trying to confuse HURRICANE RIA?! That NEVER happens! Ria is unconfusable!”
I'm thinking.... huh?
“So, we should get some...” I’m thinking some what?? Some hot monkey sex, what?! Now I’m the one who’s confused and thinking that I need to get my mind out of the gutter. Damn Kyle and his pervertedness! It rubbed off on me! No! Not IT! GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!
“Oh, Tiger Woods, is he any good?” Now I’m just lost! Is he good at what??
“Cause Tiger Woods has like... everything in him! He's probably a quarter WHITE too!” How in the world did we get from my Krispy Kremes to TIGER WOOD? I look at Maria, wanting to change the subject, but she’s lost in her own little Tiger induced world. Uh Ria darling, I love you and all, but if you don’t stop drooling on my journal!!
Suddenly she starts frowning, and me being the ever bestest friend am completely concerned. I’m about to ask her what’s wrong when she suddenly cries out, “BUT I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT GOLF!”
I look over at her strangly before starting to console her, "It's ok-"
I don't get far until she cheers up and gleefully reaches for Puddles. OH NO! Not - PUDDLES!! AHHH!! Puddles is my TY duckie and he's SOOO soft! OMG! Maria is going to kill him! Bash his head!
"No worries, I'll just go on a date with someone named Darren. We'll go golfing on our first date and life will be good again. I'll know all there is to know about golf. I hope he's tall. But can tall people golf? WILL MICHAEL BE ABLE TO?!?"
Again with the weird looks. You'd think I'd get over this and be used to it. No cigar. Let's see what's happening now…
She starts laughing hysterically. She's falling off my bed. Oh, damn, my beautifully made bed! It took me all morning to do that! It's the best thing that's ever happened to this place.
"That would be so funny if we bunk with Michael or Max, but I really want to be with you. I mean, you're my chica!"
Hear that world? I'm her CHICA! It's almost better than being the Queen of Antar! Key word: almost. Oh, I start shuddering, what if I am my brother's roommate?! Or worse yet... MAX'S!?
"It'll be sooo scary to be with Isabel!"
I'm thinking, ISABEL? She's going to UCLA?Really? I never thought she was even going to college let alone UCLA!
"She like, worships Ozzy before the Osbournes. Everyone loves Ozzy now, but she like, hates Daddy Ozzy! That's just wrong! And ya know, I bet she bit the head off her bat, what’s-its-name, and like, still has both parts in her closet! I'm telling you, that chic is scaaaaary!"
Haha! Isabel is taking pointers from the Prince of Darkness!
"I've had nightmares of Isabel, and she's like, twenty feet tall and her boobs are like, HUMONGOUS! It's so not far! I mean, she's scary, why couldn't I have gotten her boobs? They're like... PERFECT! And you know, the Aqua bra can't help when I'm doing the mattress dance! I *need* BIG BOOBS!!"
Not with the boobs again. She's always talking about the boobs. Boobs. Aye, girl, snap out of it! Guys care more than just boobs. I look down at my own modest chest and cringe, okay, so I want bigger boobs too, so sue me!
"Why is it guys like big boobs? It is like us girls liking guys with big peni-"
I start tuning Maria out, not wanting to know what’s going on in her gutterball mind and try to think of something that will keep my mind occupied and my ears as virgin as they can be. I swear, between Kyle and Maria, I'm surprised I'm not...let's not go there. My mind wanders back to college, and I'm thinking that these were going to be the moments that defined who we were. Even though I'm a bit reluctant at leaving my life now, I can't help but be a little excited about the thought of what awaited out there for us.
Whatever happens, I'm sure I'll maintain my peachy keen life. No that's not sarcasm! Okay so maybe it is, but…ah! Just go away! I have to get my mind back into the gutter! Er I mean, I need to tune back into Maria's conversation.
A/N: First off, we do not hate Maria! We don’t think she’s a ditz or anything! It’s just a conversation between two friends. We love Maria! Second, please send fb and tell us what you think. I believe this is both of our first time at something like this.
[ edited 5 time(s), last at 3-Jan-2003 9:50:48 PM ]