|posted on 21-Jan-2003 9:25:58 PM by destinyrebel|
|Title: Not So Complicated-|
Disclaimer: Roswell belongs to Jason Katims/the other writers/the other producers, 20th Century Fox and The Sci-Fi Channel. Sorry, if I forgot anyone. But anyway, I'm just borrowing everything. Ya know, for my own selfish reasons…
Category: Liz’s POV. AU. M/L.
Rating: PG-13/R. I tend to cuss a lot and I don’t know how that’s weighed, so, just be aware.
Summary: Max is new in town and Liz gets stuck with him as a science/lab partner and things go from there... She begins to fall, hard and fast, and isn’t sure if his feelings are the same. So, she does something to find out...
I like to think it’s a very sarcastic and cynical POV but maybe I’m wrong and our standards/definitions are different. If anyone wants anything a little more detailed, just ask and I’ll post more.
AN: Wow... So, I’ve brought this back from the dead... It’s been about forever since I even last thought about this fic, but then one day, I had a dream and watched ‘Heatwave’ and than all of a sudden...motivation and inspiration struck! So, here I am, back with more and plans to continue this baby till the end...
Anyway, before you start reading and remember this one, I wanted to give a huge thank you to a couple stalkers... Without them, this fic would have certainly died 32 pages back in it’s old thread… But they were relentless and kept it alive... frenchkiss70 and Dream Seeker, you guys flippin’ rock!!! Thank you so much for all the kind words of inspiration and all the freakin’ bumps!
I’m going to re-post parts 1 through 4 and then add the newest part... Let me know what you think... Let me know if you remember... Let me know if I’m making a mistake with continuing...
You know, all the normal stuff...
Not So Complicated.
Hi. My name is Liz Parker. I'm 17, sarcastic, cynical, and stupid. I'm immature and easily annoyed. I like punk/alternative rock, prank calls, potty humor, and procrastination. I hate boy bands, superficiality, superiority, and overuse of the word "love". I have no special achievements or talents to brag of, aside from my recent mastering of how to jiggle the knob on the 25 cent bubble gum machines to score free candy and my not-so-great guitar playing.
But this... This is my life.
As I tend to see it...
So... It’s just another fucking Monday afternoon at West Roswell High. And today, the sun is, once again, melting me away.
Not that I have a problem with that or anything.
Cause I’m defiantly one of the few that likes feeling sticky and sweating and like I can’t breathe cause the air is so thick and nasty.
Anyway, to give you a nice mental picture, I’m sitting underneath WRH’s most famous tree that lives just on the outskirts of the quad.
And that’s basically all I’m doing.
Yeah. I’m defiantly one of those lazy people who would rather sit and watch everyone else do everything.
It’s more fun that way. Or at least, that’s what I try to tell myself.
But don’t go and get the idea that I’m so sort of freak loner that doesn’t have any friends. Cause I do. You know, have friend... Best friends, in fact. Yup, plenty of those...
“...So, if hadn’t worn black today, you’d be cooler cause the sun would reflect off of you better.” I look up to one of my “best friends” standing over me, while holding a sandwich of some kind in one hand and a soda in the other.
“Huh?” I grunt, absentmindedly. It wasn’t my fault that I was paying attention. But sometimes it’s really hard to stay focused when Alex Whitman gets into one of his rants on why I shouldn’t always wear black on hot days or things deemed cool by the “socially challenged” everywhere.
It’s annoying most of the time.
Cause that’s so not me.
I mean, even the idea makes me laugh.
Cause it’s funny.
Cause I’m not a punk or a goth or a prep or a skater or a stoner or any little “group” you can come up with.
I’m just me. Plain and simple Liz Parker.
The smallest of small town girls.
But anyway, he just sighs and plops down next to me. “Nothing, really. At least, nothing I haven’t said before...”
“Yeah.” I send him a small smile to make up for my blanking out. “But it’s nice to know you care.”
“Yup, that’s me. Caring Whitman.” He mumbles and starts eating his lunch.
“So, what’s been happening?” I ask and take the cola drink out of his hand, at the same time. “Where’s Ria?”
He chuckles while chewing. “Probably in the Eraser Room...”
Ever since, my other “best friend”, Maria Deluca, hooked up with this guy named Michael Guerin, who happens to work at my parent’s restaurant, Alex and I haven’t seen much of her around. And it’s an on going joke that she’s locked herself in the make-out room with him.
“I hate new relationships.” I grumble before popping open the top of the 12 ounce drink.
Alex turns his head towards me. “Bitter, much?”
“Yeah. Something like that.” I shrug and take a sip of the cool liquid.
“Hey! That was mine.” He draws his eyebrows together and watches me swallow gulp after gulp.
I stop before I choke. “Sorry.” I laugh. “I’m thirsty.”
“Not a good excuse.” He puts his half eaten sandwich on the ground next to him and takes the pop from my hands. “I’m thirsty too.”
“Fine. Be that way.” I shrug again and pull my head phones out of my backpack and place them over my ears.
“Fine. I will.” I hear him announce before I am able to hit the “play” button on my CD player.
And I smile again.
Alex and I have always been close. Ever since the fifth grade. Well, actually, we met each other in forth but he always reminds me that I didn’t “notice” him until fifth. Nonetheless, we’ve been inseparable ever since. And that’s the way I think it will always be. Same thing with Maria. We bonded over an injured bird in Kindergarten and have been joined at the hip every since.
Which, I love. But still can’t believe.
The three of us are completely different. And I’m left to think that the whole thing goes well beyond opposites attracting.
It’s a fucked group. I mean, we’re all there for each other and everything cause of our friendships and pasts but we are all just so different, sometimes.
It’s hard to fathom. For me and like everyone at WRH.
But whatever. Those idiots don’t really matter.
“Liz? Liz?!” Hearing my name being called brings me out of my thoughts. I instinctively pull off my headphones and look questionably to the owner of the voice.
“What?” I ask Alex dully, just as he stands up.
“It’s 12:10... Fifth is just up.” He holds out his hand after finishing his reply and helps me to my feet.
“Fuck.” I mumble while brushing off the dirt on my pants. “All gone?” I turn my back towards Alex and look at him with a smirk on my face. “You know, these ARE new pants...”
I laugh at my own joke. I’ve never cared about things like that. And he knows it.
“Uh huh.” He smiles. “Anyway, I’ll see you sixth...” He smiles once more and waves before getting lost in the crowd headed for the school building.
But I still stand under the tree. I usually wait a couple minutes for the crowds to die down.
Cause I hate crowds. They suck.
I impatiently look down at my tattered wrist watch and wait for the little digital numbers to blink 12:14 before grabbing my bag and making my way into the same building Alex just got lost in.
“Chemistry, here I come...” I mumble just as I enter the small classroom belonging to Mr. Hamilton and his crappy “I’ve got a stick up my ass” attitude.
“Nice of you to join us, Ms. Parker.” I hear him and others in the class quietly laugh before I take my seat in the back.
‘Dude, someone so needs slap that smug look of his face, I can’t help but think just as he starts to write the days activities on the chalk board.
Group inquiry projects.
Why do I have a feeling that this is so going to suck?
Not So Complicated.
“I’ve taken the initiative and paired you off with a partner I think will compliment you.”
I know the teacher is talking... But I can really only hear one thing...
It’s the tap-tap-tap sound from my pencil smashing against the top of my lab station.
“I’m aware of the fact that some of you will complain but I will not change you around. It took a long time for me to make these choices and they will not be obstructed.”
“This is the only chance you will get...”
“Fine. I will start calling off names.”
“Please find a place where you and your partner will be comfortable for the rest of the class, after I have called your name. Start writing down your ideas and your proposal is due tomorrow. Two pages in length and double spaced, as always.”
“Davis and Martin. Long and Fisk. Stanton and Edwards.”
Yada, yada, yada...
“Parker and Evans. Willis and Guerin. Deluca and Potter.”
Yada, yada, yada...
Wait. What? I blink and turn so that I am facing Maria, who is sitting in the station closest to my left. “What’d he say?”
But she only shrugs a reply and looks toward David Potter. Her apparent new partner.
He said Parker and Evans, didn’t he? I think he did. He must have.
“Simcoft and Wilson. Ali and Moore. Duran and Marrs.”
I’m confused. Evans. As in Max Evans? As in the new guy? As in the guy who sits oh-so-quietly and doesn’t talk to like anyone other then his sister, Isabel Evans, and Michael Guerin? Evans as in Max Evans?
Fuck. If that’s what he said...
“That is everyone. I hope you have fun during the next two weeks or so.”
Wait. I’m so totally confused. He couldn’t have really said “Parker and Evans”? Right?
Crap. I don’t know. I’m screwed.
My hand instantly shoots up in the air as I see Kylie move from the seat next to me and in the seat next to Sam.
Stanton and Edwards.
“Yes, Ms. Parker?” I hear the teacher ask, rather pompously.
“Um... Who am I...” But I stop myself as I see the infamous Max Evans take the seat previously occupied by Kylie. “Oh.” I instantly snap my mouth shut and mumble an apology to the teacher.
“Try to pay more attention next time, Ms. Parker.”
“Yeah. I’ll work on that.” I wrinkle my nose at his retreating form and turn towards the person that supposedly “compliments” me.
How the hell could Hammy do this to me? Damn him.
“Max. Right?” Hey, I might as well try to cut the shit and move along.
“Um, yeah”, was the simple reply that I got back.
“Well, that’s good to know.” I say sarcastically and take stock in what Max Evans’ really looks like.
He looks good. Hot, even...
He’s wearing black cargo pants, complete with bondage straps, an ATTICUS t-shirt, a studded leather belt, and a plain black leather wristband. And his hair is really dark brown and a few stray strains seem to have fallen over his right eye.
He looked kinda innocent. Even though, that probably wasn’t the look he was going for...
“Yeah.” He replies dully again and I start to get impatient.
I might think he looks cute but still... What the hell?
“You don’t talk much do you?” I ask coldly. A little too coldly, I think.
“What?” He quickly lifts his head from the book he was reading and asks with a confused/surprised tone.
I shrug. “Nothing. I was just noticing how much of a talker you aren’t.”
For his response, he only draws his eyebrows together and stares at me.
“So... Um, whatcha readin’?” I ask awkwardly, after our little starring match becomes too much for me to handle after the long minute that passed.
“Um... Nothing.” He instantly breaks the stare and snaps his book shut.
“Really? I’ve read Nothing. It’s good... Pretty deep and intellectual.” I smile and straighten my back. Dude, I am soo trying to be civil.
Why isn’t he?
I mean, he’s just back to starring at me.
And it’s making me uncomfortable. It feels like he’s reading my mind or something.
See, he’s got these really piercing eyes, that seem to kind of...look through you...
But kind of intoxicating, at the same time...
God, what the hell am I saying?
I quickly shake my head and frown. “Ok, look... We may have gotten off to a bad start but we need to get our shit together cause I’m not going to be able to this project thing all on my own. Ok?” Remember this? I wanted to cut the bullshit. I need to get back on track. And not think about his eyes... Eck.
“Ok.” He answers simply but looks freakishly confused.
“Cool. I’ll go first...” I wait until he nods slightly before I really start. “Hey. Um, my name is Liz. I'm 17, very sarcastic, very cynical, and almost always stupid. I'm immature and easily annoyed. I like alternative rock, prank calls, potty humor, and procrastination. I hate boy bands, superficiality, superiority, and overuse of the word "love". I have no special achievements or talents to brag of, aside from my recent mastering of how to jiggle the knob on the 25 cent bubble gum machines to score free candy. Nice to meet you.” I extend my hand enthusiastically and wait for his introduction.
Dude, I’m so going well beyond the boundaries of trying here. It’s sad how much of an effort I’m making. Seriously. You see it to, right?
But obviously, he doesn’t. Cause he just takes a moment and slightly laughs at my intro before answering.
“Ah, I don’t have anything planned out, like you did and you already know my first and last name, so, I think were good.” He nods a couple times and then starts putting his book away. Which, by the way, was something really stupid about UFOs and Aliens being “among us”...
I can’t help it. I can’t hold my tongue. I just can’t...
I tried. I really did. You and I both know it. But I’m not strong. I’m weak if anything when it comes to holding and keeping my mouth shut.
“You’re an asshole.” I snap, just after shoving my chem text book into my bag.
I so tried my damnedest. I just couldn’t pull it off.
This guy is impossible.
“And you’re point?” He manages to snap back.
“My point is that you’re an arrogant and conceited bastard.” I don’t miss a beat.
But neither does he... “Always so quick to judge?”
“When it’s necessary, yes.”
“Why do you think it’s necessary?”
“Why do you always answer me with a question?”
“Does that irritate you?”
“Does it make you feel more witty and clever?” I inquire in a high-pitched voice.
“Would it bother you, if it did?” He asks slyly.
“Would it bother me if a fucking asshole needed to use childish tactics to win his arguments and get his point across? What would make you think such a thing?”
“Funny, isn’t?” I hear, just before the bell rings and he gets up to leave.
Piece of crap asshole...
I can’t help but think.
“He’s a fucking asshole.” I hiss. “I mean, what the hell was his problem? I was trying to be nice.”
“Maybe he’s got a crush on you.”
“Alex, be serious. I just met him. He just met me.”
“Plus, he’s only been in town like two weeks.”
I turn to Maria in the backseat of Alex’s Rabbit. “And you’d know that how...?”
I mean, everyone knows that he’s the “new guy” but still...
“Michael and I were talking. He’s known Max and his sister for like ever and I think they just recently moved here from Albuquerque. I think his dad got a really good job offer or something and decided to move everyone.” Maria explains as if it’s no big deal.
“Perfect. So, why the hell did Hamilton think that we would “compliment” each other?” I huff and cross my arms.
“Wow. He’s really gotten under your skin, hasn’t he?” Alex quickly shoots me a glance before turning out of the school’s parking lot.
“Yeah, you could say that.” I mumble after rolling down my window. I need air.
Cause for some reason, he did really get under my skin. And I probably let him.
I don’t know even know how it happened. One minute, everything is fine. The next, he was pressing every single one of my buttons.
“Maybe he thought you could show him the ropes of 5th period science?” Maria offered.
“She could be right, you know.” Alex agreed while stopping the car at a red traffic light. “Everyone knows you’re like the top student in that class. He probably just thought you could help him out.”
“He’s a fucking asshole.” I wrinkle my nose at the thought of spending the next two weeks working with him. “He’s arrogant and really smug. I bet he thinks he’s hot shit...”
“I don’t know... He kinda is hot shit.” Maria smiles and tries not to laugh at the death glare I send her.
“I’m serious, Liz. He’s got that whole dark and mysterious thing goin’ on full force. All the girls have noticed it. Ahh... If I wasn’t with Michael... There’d be some possibilities...”
“Eww...” I frown. “That’s sick, Maria.”
I think for a moment. “Cause he’s a fucking asshole.”
“Uh huh. You’ve mentioned that.” She smiles again. “You know, Alex, maybe you weren’t so far off in the beginning but maybe it’s Lizzie who likes Max...”
“Liz? And a crush?” Alex starts to laugh. “That’s funny. That’s really funny!”
“You guys suck.” I sulk, trying not to sound defeated. So, maybe I think he’s cute and maybe I’m a little intrigued by the fact that he so easily irritated me, but still... He’s a fucking asshole.
“And so does he?” Maria taunts and finishes my thought for me.
“I so hate you right now. You know that? Right?”
“Liz, don’t let him get to you. It’s not worth it.” Alex shakes his head knowingly, as his car comes to a stop in front of Maria’s house.
“Yeah, but maybe he is...” Maria says quietly before stepping out of the Rabbit’s backseat. “Liz, you have never backed down from a challenge. And that’s all I’m going to say...” She explains, and then winks at me. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow...”
“Bye.” I meagerly whisper, as she slams the door shut. “Am I just entirely stupid?” I pause a beat and turn to Alex, waiting for some real words of wisdom.
“No.” He smirks. “I think you’re just bored...”
“Shut up, Alex.” I half smile.
“Band practice it is. It’s at Nick’s place tonight, right?”
[ edited 8 time(s), last at 17-Feb-2003 1:08:04 AM ]
|posted on 21-Jan-2003 9:27:55 PM by destinyrebel|
|Not So Complicated.|
So, I’m back in the quad for another beautiful Tuesday afternoon. But this time, the sun isn’t quite “melting” me away, as much as, dissolving me away.
Yeah. We are now officially in a full-blown heat wave.
And goddamn it, I am so freaking pissed at who ever controls earth’s temperature gauge right now...
“I need to get out of here...” Maria moans as she lazily wipes her forehead with the back of her hand and tires to get her bright red tank top not to mold to her back so much so that you can’t tell where one ends and where the other begins. “I need to find an ice cold pool.”
“We need to make another one of those.” Alex half-heartedly smiles. It’s sad. I don’t think he has the energy to smile fully. None of us do. We’re all just completely burned...
Figuratively and literally.
“That was cool.” I sigh after taking a long drink from my all too quickly warming water bottle that was filled with ice not two hours ago. “I remember that. We were...what?...freshmen when we set that baby up?” I lean back against the tree as I try to find the full memory.
“Yeah.” Maria smiles at the thought of us so long ago. “We need to do that again. Maybe even invite a couple people along...”
“No.” Alex quickly looked at Maria for a second and a half and then started shaking his head. “Only a few men would get into a swimming pool that was half filled with ice. And Michael Guerin defiantly isn’t one of them...”
“Eww!” I wrinkle my nose. “That’s sick, Alex.”
“What?!” He laughs at the fact that he was able to grouse me out and begins to lean forward. “Shrinkage is a common occurrence when...”
“Stop!” Maria and I both scream at the same time.
“I so don’t want to hear the end of that!” I involuntarily shutter at the mental images that are threatening to break into mind.
“Yeah, well, I’m dating the guy!” Maria grunts and starts to rummage through her bag for something.
“Alright. Fine.” Alex threw up his hands in defeat and smirked at both of our disgusted looks. “I was just saying...”
“Yeah, but don’t.” Maria tells him and uncaps a vial of her Cedar aromatherapy oil and begins to take slow breathes of it.
“Ever.” I include before shuttering one last time. “So fucking sick...”
“What’s so sick?”
“Michael Guerin in a pool that’s filled with...” I involuntarily start to answer the cocky voice before looking up and realizing the words that were coming out of my mouth and the person the words would be heard by. But thankfully, I was able to stop myself just in the knick of time. Kinda.
“Michael and a pool filled with what exactly?” A Mr. Max Evans smugly smiles down at me and prompts ever-so-slyly with the freakin’ twinkle in his eye beaming.
And as he is doing this, I just stare up at him.
A nice and steady blank stare.
Something along the lines of what an idiot would if they were in a starring contest, I’m sure.
Goddamn it, I suck.
It was the only thing that my mouth was able to articulate on its own. That’s all my mind was able to put together. 2 crappie words mushed together.
Not nothing. Which, technically means, that it wasn’t nothing. Right? Which would also imply that it was something. Right?
But, anyway, hopefully, Evans isn’t bright enough to get that little bit of hidden meaning.
“Well,” He started before crouching down and meeting me at eye level. “If it’s not nothing, then what is it?”
I blinked only once. But despite myself, my inane starring continued. And so did his…
“What was my friend, and I’m assuming yours, doing in a pool filled with something questionable that you don’t want to repeat? Out loud, at least...”
God, his voice. It’s like nails on a chalk board.
It’s cocky and superior and arrogant and loaded with BS...
“Is your dad a lawyer?” I blurt out and ask almost in a stunned/sarcastic/disgusted voice. Because frankly, I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe I just blurted that out. I can’t believe I lost control. So much control, in so little time...
“Excuse me?!” I look up quickly, just in time to see the look on his face. And let me tell you, he looked like one of those six year olds that got caught trying to steal a cookie before dinner.
“He is. Isn’t he?” I ask with the beginnings of a smirk on my face.
Dude, all is now explained.
“She’s got ya there, Partner.” I glance to my side to see Maria giggling and shaking her head at Max. “Michael’s told me all about it, so, don’t think of making up too many lies...”
But he doesn’t look away; he doesn’t pay any attention to Maria’s mocking giggles.
He just meets my gaze and holds it.
And while he does that, I feel all warm and fuzzy as he tries to figure out why I’d ask something like that. I don’t know if it’s because of the way he’s looking at me or just that the simple fact that he is looking but I could swear that I felt something. Like a little extra tick in my heart or a couple extra butterflies in the pit of my stomach.
Or my very own superiority complex kicking in.
Either way, he continued to hold it until Alex interrupted us... “Um, I don’t mean to interrupt but I don’t think we’ve actually met. I’m Alex Whitman...” Alex then held out his hand and I could see it from the corner of my eye and that’s when Max all of a sudden looked down and grabbed Alex’s hand.
And I was left to stare on, dumbfoundedly, again...
“It’s nice to meet you.”
“Yeah. Like wise.”
“So... Can we help you with anything? I mean, did you need something or did you just want to come over here and see if you could knock Liz Parker silent, much like you have.”
See, I heard that. But I’m too distracted with all the warm and fuzzy to kick Alex.
I guess I owe him.
“Yeah.” Max nodded. “Actually, I just came over here because I wanted to borrow Liz for a minute...”
“You what?” I ask, finally kinda coming out of my stunned lull.
What’d he say?
“I need to talk to you.” He turns towards me, once again, and lifts his eyebrows in a weird sort of way.
“About science. And a certain pool’s filling...” He tells me simply and extends his hand so I can get up more easily.
But I don’t grab it right away. Oh no... I just stare at it...
Warm and fuzzy. Warm and fuzzy. Warm and fuzzy.
“Come on, Liz.” He looks down at me seriously.
“Since when are we on a first name basis? I’ve only really known you since yesterday.” I tell him timidly and continue to stare at his hand. Again, I had nothing better to say, nothing better to come up with.
“Well, after the way you introduced yourself yesterday- I guess I just assumed...”
“You shouldn’t have.” I tell him shortly.
“Then, what may I call you?” He causally retracts his hand and shoves it in one of his many pockets.
I skip only a beat before answering. “Liz is fine.”
He smirks. But tries to hide it. “Fine. Liz it is...”
“Yes. Liz is it.” I say a little too quickly and then frown at the stupidness of how it sounded.
I’m back to losing control. If I ever got it back in the first place.
“Anyway, Liz, I need to talk to you.”
“Yeah. Science, right?” I wrinkle my nose while trying to stand up.
Hell, I might as well try and find out what’s up. He is my partner and all.
You know, I’m told we compliment each other.
Anyway, yeah... I need to give it a shot.
And no, it has nothing to do with the fact that, from where I’m standing, at least, in the hot New Mexico sun he looks like the “hot shit” Maria described yesterday.
No. I just want to see if I can beat this challenge that’s come my way.
“Uh huh.” He answers as I try to clean the dirt and crap off of the ass of my pants. As gracefully as I can, be assured. “We need to go see the teacher.”
“Fine.” I answer lamely and turn to look down at Alex and Maria, forgetting that I owe Alex a kick in the shins. “Guys, I’ll catch you later. I’ve got to go deal with Evans and Hamilton. Lovely mix, ain’t it?”
Maria answers with a laugh and wave. Alex nods and starts to unpack his lunch.
“Great friends, huh?” I ask Max as we start to walk towards the school building.
“Yeah. Great...” He smiles lightly. “And by the way- It’s Max.”
And during that second, that he said his name and gave me permission to use it, I turned to look at him and by doing so- I ended up catching him in a really cute smile. And for some reason, it made me smile. “Alright, Max.” And I couldn’t help but think that this might just be the beginning of a beautifully amusing acquaintance.
“I don’t know...”
“Cause I just suspected that you would do it.”
“I figured you were one of those grade obsessed people. I thought you’d get it done, so we’d have a paper to turn in.”
“You have some freaking nerves, you know that?”
“What the hell do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, think of something fast.”
“Cause the teacher’s on his way over...”
“Miss Parker and Mr. Evans? I predict there is a problem with your proposal?” Mr. Hamilton authoritatively comes to stand directly in front of Max and me.
God, I knew this was a bad idea.
When Max informed me that we didn’t have any of our work done for Hammy, I thought he was joking. I mean, maybe I was just jumping to conclusions or something, but Max Evans didn’t really strike me as a person that would care if their work was turned in or not.
Turns out, that was the whole problem.
See, on our walk to Hammy’s classroom, I found out that he’s been fucking off for most of his high school career and West Roswell High was his LAST chance to redeem himself. You know, with acing his finals and getting on his teacher’s good side.
So, this paper/proposal thing and Mr. Hamilton’s attitude equaled shit creek for my new friend.
And he knew it.
“Um... Funny you should ask that...” I nervously smile. Never in my life have I ever had a teacher not like me. Well, at least not until 5th period chemistry, junior year. I’m convinced he has it out for me and that’s he’s just waiting for me to screw up. And I think he thinks this is his big chance to can both me and the new kid.
Perfect, isn’t it?
“Do you really say?” He asks arrogantly and crosses his arms over his chest.
I quickly shoot a Max a glance before starting to present our excuse.
“See... Um... Max and I finished it, you know, yesterday but...” I stutter and stammer. I was never good at lying to people like him. Never. Ever...
This was a bad idea.
“But I took it home to edit it and I forgot to bring it in this morning.” Max quickly finishes my sentence, after shooting me a nervous/fleeting look back.
And I can’t help it. I look back over at him, in just about complete awe as he finishes in the most innocent and guiltless tone I have ever heard. I mean, I know he didn’t say much and it was really lame but still, the way he said it... It was just...wow. “I’m really sorry, Mr. Hamilton. It won’t happen again but I would still like to discuss the consequences, so that this issue may be resolved.”
Jesus. Not even butter would melt in this boy’s mouth...
“I understand the stress you may be in, Mr. Evans, with moving to a new town and new school...” Mr. Hamilton starts, obviously falling for all the crap Max just fed him. “But we have strict rules here and I think you need to make it a point to learn them.” He finishes as he un-crosses his thick arms.
“I understand.” Max nods.
I still just stare blankly at him. Cause he was good. Really good.
“Do you?” Mr. Hamilton turns towards me, as I continue to stare at Max and think about his amazing lying abilities.
“Um, yeah...” I answer absent mindedly and turn towards him. “I’m sorry about that, Hamilton.”
“I’m sure you are, Miss Parker.” He says as he re-crosses his arms.
“Hey, it wasn’t my fault.” I shake my head and cross my own arms over my chest. “It was the new guys fault...” I explain before smiling sweetly.
“Indeed.” Hammy nods at me.
Dude, this guy has got serious problems with objects being stuck up his ass.
“Anyway, if we are done here, I’m going to get something to eat. And Max, you need to get one of those crappie school handbook things, so, you coming?” I call over my shoulder as I am about to walk out of the room. Screw Hammy and his crappie attitude. Max got us off the hook. All is well now.
“Um, yeah.” I hear Max answer, still in his oh-so-innocent voice. “I’m right behind you.”
“Cool.” I nod and start walking towards the good old vending machines that hold all the lunch I will require this wonderful afternoon.
Not So Complicated.
Come on lucky number A-5.
“You know, it’s really amazing how happier a person I have become since the installation of these wonderful vending machines that sell Starbucks Coffee Frappuccinos.” I causally explain over my right shoulder to one Max Evans while inserting 6 quarters from my pocket into the little money slot. “They cost a good $1.50 but I would argue the worth of it is much, much more...”
“Hmm. I’m not much of a coffee person...” He shrugs and moves past me, towards the Coca-Cola machine. Another new addition and installation.
“Freak.” I can’t help but mutter as I twist open the small glass bottle and take my first sip of the cool and creamy liquid.
He smiles before popping open his own 12 ounce can of Cherry Coke. “Hardly.”
Not such a bad choice, cherry cola, but still... What does that say about him?
He’s a 17 year old boy/man that likes cherry flavored soda. Hmm...
“Whatever you say.” I smirk and try to shake my head clear of the beginnings of a sick “analyze this” moment. What the hell does it matter if he likes artificially flavored drinks? “Coffee is a godsend. So is Starbucks.” I tell him as sternly as I can. “Seriously.”
“Whatever you say...” He humors me after taking a very long drink of his beverage.
“Don’t patronize me, Mr. Evans.” I draw my eyebrows in a frown to show my seriousness. “It was hell before Starbucks came into my life. It might be hard to imagine but there was a time, not too long ago, that most Roswellians didn’t even know what good coffee was...”
“I would never patronize you, Miss Parker.” He replies in that same sly voice from yesterday.
“You’re full of shit, you know that?”
“Pretty much.” He smirks. “And I think it’s safe to say the same about you.”
“Haha. Very funny...” I say as I motion for him to follow me so that we can tell start wandering the halls.
You know, I still don’t get this guy. One minute he’s, dare I say, normal and charming and the next he’s the asshole from yesterday. It’s weird.
But I’m starting to like it.
And I’m starting to think, that’s not such a bad thing after all...
“So, where the hell did you come from?”
And were back to the asshole.
“No shit, Evans.”
“What? Since when isn’t Albuquerque up north?”
“Since it got shoved up your ass.”
Wow. So, I guess I’m an asshole too now.
“Yeah, cause that would make it south and not north.”
“Very good. You should get a gold star stapled to your forehead.”
“How about stapled to my ass?”
“You’re a fucked up friend, Liz.”
“You’re a very special friend, Max.”
“Go to hell.”
“So, we still have to work on our project this weekend, right?” I look over my shoulder just in time to see Max, in all his glory, come to stand behind me. It’s Friday afternoon, school is almost out for the day, and somehow I came in here to study from whatever test I will have to take in the next week or so and he found me.
And I’m absolutely ecstatic.
Cause now you’ll get another example of how we interact with each other.
“Yes.” I tell him before gesturing towards the chair next to mine.
“You know, this isn’t a bad library. It’s better then the one I had at my old school.” He sighs while slumping into the stuffy arm chair that sits on my right hand side. It’s red and stained but quite comfortable.
“Uh huh.” I smile and glance around the dusty room that is filled with torn and broken books of all sorts. “Well, I’m not surprised. That old school of yours makes West Roswell High sound like a private school... With a lot of money. Which is weird cause yours was a private school with a lot of money.” I frown. “That’s fucked.”
“It was fucked but it wasn’t all bad.” He smirks but tries to look like I’ve hurt him by talking shit about his old place. “I had a lot of fun and Isabel was a lot happier...”
I nod while listening but can’t help but interrupt. “You know, I think I should meet her.” I tell him as nonchalantly as I can.
See, Isabel is his sister. And she isn’t attending West Roswell High because apparently she was able to get her teacher’s at Max’s old school to give her all of her finals before the family packed up and moved. I guess it wasn’t such a strange thing cause there’s only like 2 and a half weeks left of school but I can tell that Max wishes she was here. From what I gather, they’re really close.
Anyway, while lost in my thoughts of Max’s said-to-be-perfect sister, I don’t realize the fact that he has now changed positions and is currently leaning ever so closely to me. “Well, don’t you think it’s a little early to meet each other’s families?” Max’s husky whispered voice brought me instantly out of my thoughts of his sister and back to him.
Warm and fuzzy. Warm and fuzzy. Warm and fuzzy.
Loss of control. Loss of control. Loss. Of. Control.
I smile a shy smile and try to play along without bursting out laughing. “Maxwell, I don’t think we should keep our love for each other a secret any longer.” I then slowly stand up and go by his side. “I love you. And I’m not going to keep hiding it...”
“I know you love me. And I love you too. But it isn’t safe for...” And that was it. As soon as he said “I love you too”, I doubled over in a fit of snorts and giggles. I couldn’t help myself. And neither could he. “You should have let me finish... You never let me finish.” He complained after trying to calm himself in vain.
“I know. I’m sorry.” I choked out before grabbing my stomach and holding it tight. “If I laugh anymore, I’m going to split...” I giggle before realizing that Max’s hands we inches away from my sides and that he was about to tickle me. “Oh fuck...! Don’t you dare!” I yell before trying to pull away. But it didn’t work. His hands grabbed me from both sides and he started to tickle me for all he was worth. And I couldn’t stop laughing. And I was sure I wouldn’t have wanted to either.
Cause Ladies and Gentlemen: Welcome to the past three days of my life...
Each and every one has been a little slice of something so perfect and so confrontational, that I can’t even begin to describe.
In short, I’m having the time of my life with Mr. Max Evans at my side.
One minute we’re arguing and at each other’s throats, the next we are flirting and getting into trouble like there’s no tomorrow.
And if I’m not mistaken, I think I’ve started to fall...
And being right here, right now, and realizing this revelation, is a big thing.
Cause while Max continues to tickle me and the librarian, Mrs. Holts, starts to scream, I feel something inside me. Something...warm and fuzzy...but more than just warm and fuzzy.
Something life altering in its simplest form.
Something that will make me a completely different person, for sure.
Something that will be able to save me from my cynical self.
Now, if only I knew how he felt...
“So... Have you kissed ‘em yet?”
Ahh... Another one of Maria’s all-to-sweet questions about the time I’ve been spending with Max. But you’ve got to love her. And her persistence...
“Or have you gone all the way to second base?”
“Second base?” I mock, while looking over the magazine that’s in my hand. “Dude, we hit second base the minute after I called him arrogant and conceded for the first time... We’re way beyond that now.”
“Uh huh. So, what? Third base has been hit?” I listen to her sick comment and stick my tongue out she only nods sarcastically and then goes back to looking through my basket filled with nail polish and whatnot.
It’s Saturday night and Maria Deluca and I are in the mists of one of our ritual sleepovers.
But it’s nothing special or anything. See, we both work well beyond closing time at the CrashDown on Friday nights, so, she always just crashes in my room when she’s too tired or too lazy to drive home.
It’s been happening since the 9th grade.
Nothing special or anything.
I sigh out loud and unintentionally break the silence that fell over us. “God, these people are so fucking fake...”
Maria causally looks up at me. “Who is it this time?” She asks before closing the bottle of clear top-coat.
I roll my eyes and throw the latest edition of Seventeen on the floor next to my bed. “Who the hell knows?” I groan and lazily roll off of my twin bed. “Hey, ya need something to sleep in?” I ask with a yawn as I walk over to my closet.
“Um...” Maria starts thoughtfully. “Yeah.”
I nod my head and start digging through my laundry basket. “Here.” A second later I toss a sky blue tank top and a pair of white PJ shorts over my shoulder and towards here general direction. For me, I grab my favorite black cami and a pair of navy drawstring sleep pants.
“Thanks for the clothes and all, I mean really, but there’s still something else we need to talk about.” I hear Maria say before I walk into my bathroom. And unfortunately, I was only able to grab my toothbrush and Crest toothpaste before Maria started hitting me with the questions again. “You know, it’s my duty as the best friend to find out exactly what’s going on. I’m not trying to pry... Oh, who the hell am I kidding?! I am trying to pry. I want and need to know exactly what your feelings are for this guy! You’ve been spending countless hours with him these past four days and I’m starting to wonder if Hammy was right when he said you guys would complicate each other...” Maria sighed and her ramble finally ended with a deep breath and a set of pathetic puppy dog eyes focused right on me.
Typical and predictable.
“Why don’t we put on some music?” I ask and causally walk past her with the toothbrush still in hand. “What are you in the mood for?” I smile at her before crouching in fort of my beaten up stereo and pressing the “play” button.
Yes, you are correct. I have not admitted my feelings to Maria. Nor do I plan to any time soon.
You see, I figure that I need to understand and sort everything out before I start babbling to the gossip queen of WRH.
Cause believe me, she would have Max on the phone or on his way over before I was even done with my first sentence.
She’s just like that.
I love her to death. But she’s way involved with other people’s love lives.
God, did I just call this whole mess a “love life”?
“You can’t just avoid the subject!” I hear Maria yell from inside my small bathroom, her voice semi-echoing. “I’m here all night, Chicka!”
“I know it and now, so does the whole freakin’ town, Maria.” I shake my head and refer to the all of windows in my room that are currently as open as they can be. Granted, I only have like 2 windows and they are only there as a way to get to my balcony but still. Sound has been known to travel.
“What? You think they care?” Maria snickers while walking back into my room with her hair up in a perfect bun and her clothes changed into the ones I so generously let her borrow.
“The residents of Roswell, New Mexico not caring about the latest bit of gossip?! Oh, heavens no...” I shake my head dramatically and send my hair with it.
“You think I’m gossip worthy?” Maria narrows her eyes and looks at me straight. “Do you really?”
“Of course, my dear...” I nod and walk towards her. “With a boy-toy like Guerin, you’ve got some great potential...” I smirk before Maria hits my arm.
“So not fair.” She crosses her arms and goes to pick up the magazine I placed on the floor, most likely, hoping to find some sort of “love” quiz. But I already checked. Nothing good this time... Fucking bastards. “We cannot discuss my newest friend, until we discus yours.” Maria tells me sternly. But I ignored her and started listening to the song that I had put on.
Unintentionally, of course.
“You know,” I start before sticking my white and blue toothbrush into my mouth. “I always wanted to be the girl at the end of this song... You know the one that offers the guy the ticket and asks him to go with her?”
Maria, accepting the subject change, for now, let out a deep sigh, sat down on the edge of my bed.
“I mean, this girl was able to realize that this guy loved her and she went for it, regardless. She just told him that she wasn’t any different from him...” I started to rationalize and ramble.
I want to be able to do that. I mean, if I’m really “in love” with Max. I want to just throw caution to the wind and tell him everything. But I doubt I’d be able too.
And I pray to God, I’m not really in love.
In like, maybe.
I could live with myself if I admitted I liked him. But not love.
I’m not ready for that.
Maria isn’t ready for me to be in love.
What the fuck am I doing even thinking about this?
Max thinks of me as his buddy.
We’re just friends.
Didn’t he already call me that?
Didn’t he say I was a “fucked up FRIEND?”
Didn’t I do the same?
Have I screwed this whole thing even before it was a thing?
“Liz...” She starts to tell me kinda of sadly and consequently, breaks me out of my jumbled thoughts. “You know, I think all of us really wish somewhere down in our dreams that we’ll find out about this guy that’s absolutely head-over-heels in love with us. And that their too shy to tell us or too scared of our boyfriend’s that are dicks or something... I know I did.” She smiles faintly at me and that’s when I realize how pathetic I must have sounded.
“I suck.” I say, starring down at her kindly smiling face. “What the hell is wrong with me? How could I even think about that?!” I quickly shove my toothbrush back into my mouth and I start brushing my teeth, rather roughly.
But that’s not what I worried about at the moment. Or what I’m thinking about.
Cause I’m thinking about Max. Yeah, Mr. Maxwell Evans, himself.
It has been 3 and ½ days since Evans and I agreed to go on a first name basis. And a lot happened in those first 3 days.
Half of Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and now, Friday.
After walking down the hall together that first day, we started walking down the hall the next day and the next.
We started hanging out. We started talking. I told him things I would have never told anyone. And he did the same.
I felt like I could finally just relax and I that I was free to say whatever the hell I wanted to say without worrying about what he would think of me.
For some reason, when he’s around, I lose control.
He’s made me careless and immature.
And that scares me. Cause while I’m having the time of my life and feeling even more of those “warm and fuzzy” feelings, I have no idea how he feels. I don’t know if he feels the same way or if he’s just hanging out with me cause he needs an A on his science project or cause we’re “friends”.
Cause of him, I’m not the girl at the end of that Wheatus song. I’m the guy that’s watching from afar.
Just watching, wishing and wondering.
Cause of him, I’m the fucking teenage dirtbag...
And I don’t know if he gives a damn...
|posted on 21-Jan-2003 9:29:38 PM by destinyrebel|
|Not So Complicated.|
“Cuz I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby. Yeah I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby...”
As I look over at my crappie 5-years-old digital clock that is currently illuminating the time, 1:32am, I can’t get those damned lyrics out of my head.
Over and over, they just keep on repeatin’.
“Cuz I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby. Yeah I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby...”
I have the lyrics, the tune, the drum beat and even the all-too-good guitar riffs all stuck like glue to some weird sponge part of my brain.
They just won’t stop.
Maria has been asleep on the floor beside my bed for the past 45 minutes or so. I can hear her light breathing and all its doing is making me jealous.
Cause I want to fall asleep. I want to dream of things other than Max Evans. I want to be able to wake up refreshed and replenished before I have to get up and serve all the ungrateful costumers that complain that the milk I gave them with their Saturday morning cereal wasn’t cold enough.
Pain and simple, I want the fucking Sandman to make his fucking way back over to my fucking room. Pronto.
But of course we all know that won’t happen.
Because we all what’s really on my mind and the fact that I won’t be able to close my eyes until it is sorted out.
And we all know that I need to sort it out before I will ever be able to get another decent night of sleep.
So, new plan.
No sulking. No feeling sorry for myself. No more being in a funk and moping around.
I am going to figure this out.
Plain and simple.
My father, Jeff Parker, is oblivious to the fact that I don’t like working at the family run diner. So, when I talk to him, I think and say two completely different things.
I’m thinking: I’m taking a stand. I am not wasting another one of my precious Saturday mornings working at that crap place that pays our bills every month.
But I’m actually saying: “Daddy, I’m really sorry but I don’t think I can work this morning.”
I’m thinking: Cause I’ve got to sort out my new found feelings of like for the new kid. And I don’t want to deal with all the ungrateful bastards that come through during the early hours of Saturday morning to bitch and moan.
But I’m actually saying: “Cause I’ve got a really bad headache coming on and I really need to work on that science project with that Max guy. I think he’s supposed to be coming over at around nine...”
I’m thinking: Oh. Dear. God. I explained this yesterday. Think, Dad, Think.
But I’m saying: “Yeah. Remember? The Evans kid?”
I love my dad to death. Don’t get me wrong. But at certain times, I can only take so much.
“Oh yeah. Evans... You’re both working on the project together?”
“Uh huh. Hammy’s orders.”
“Be nice, Liz. Gabriel is a good teacher.”
I’m thinking: His first name is Gabriel? What the fuck? Why am I just learning this now? I could have a whole years worth of ammo right there...
But I’m saying: “I know, Dad. Don’t worry about it.”
“Fine. But only if you can someone to cover for you.” He sighs and gives me a kiss on the top of my head.
I’m thinking: Thank you!
And I’m saying: “Thank You.”
At certain times, I can only take so much. But I do love the guy...
“Hi, may I please speak with Max?” My voice is sugary sweet. I found that it needs to be when you talk to some guy’s mom. I have it all worked out. If it’s a sister, you act like you’re nervous. If it’s a bother, you act like you don’t care. And if it’s a father, you ask for the sister. Or hang up.
See, it’s just common curtsey. It saves you and the person you’re trying to reach a lot of hassling from family members. Or so I’ve found...
“Of course. Can I ask who is calling?”
“Yes. This is Liz Parker. I needed to ask a question about our science project...”
“Oh, that’s great.” I think she thinks Maxwell’s got a new friend. How sweet. “I think he is in his room. I’ll go get him.”
“Thank you so much.”
Fucking shit. I hate parents. They all suck.
“Hello?” The half-asleep voice makes me smile to myself.
“What the hell are you doing sleeping in on a Saturday morning?” My voice has now turned from sweet and innocent, to harsh and accusing.
“Get with it, Maxwell. It’s seven-thirty in the morning. Get the hell out of bed!”
“You know where Michael works?”
“I need you to meet me there ASAP.”
“Why? I heard they have crap food...”
And then I stop.
“Just get your ass out of bed, take a shower, grab your science books, and run like the shit monster is after you. And never, ever insult my dad’s restaurant.” And then I hang up. And then I leave him freaked.
“Fuck you, Maria.” I hiss and I go to pick up another order from Michael. “Fuck everything.”
“Hey, don’t go bad mouthing my girlfriend... That’s just asking for trouble.” I look up and see Michael smirking at me and I just answer with a death glare as I change my hiss to better suit the situation.
“Fuck you, Michael. Fuck everything.”
“See? Now, that’s better. I can handle you cussing me out but not my-“
“Shut the fuck up, Michael...”
See, I’m a bit pissed cause Maria wouldn’t cover my ass and shift this crappy morning.
And instead of being able to work out a solid game play about how to deal with Evans, I’m stuck working.
“Hey, Michael... Since when have you and Maria decided to go steady?” I start to smirk as I stand in front of the order window of my parent’s all-too-quaint café. I think I’m going to have some fun. It’s better than mumbling that everything is “fucked”, “fucking”, or just plain old “fuck”. Right? “Was it before or after you both got a weeks worth of detention for indecent exposure, when the janitor walked in on ya doin’ the nasty...?”
“Fuck you, Parker.” It all came together and meant everything... The way his smirk faded, the way a few beads of sweat decided that was a perfect second to run down his forehead, the way, he could only come up with something as lame as “fuck you”... It was all so lovely.
And it really made me feel a hell of a lot better...
As sad as that is.
“You’ve got my order ready, Mickey G?” I poke my head through the order window and take a look down. My Heavenly Hash Special for table 5 is just sitting there, and my tip is getting smaller and smaller, so, I smile sweetly at Michael and wait for him to hand me the plate of greasy food.
“You’re a bitch.”
“But you love me anyway, don’t you?” I smile again and wink quickly before taking the order from his hand and walking it over to table number 5.
Working isn’t that bad. I guess.
I mean, yeah, it sucks, but when it’s only me, Michael, and, Maria working, it’s actually pretty fun...
Until I hear my name being called rather frantically from the back room...
I quickly give table 5 their order and make a b-line towards the break room.
It either means, we are all out of ketchup, she heard my question for Michael and is pissed, or Max has finally arrived.
Hmm... I wonder which one I’m hoping for...
I walk in and but guess what I find?
Yup, a pissed looking Maria, who is holding two empty condiment bottles, and sending Max a death glare.
I so called that...
“What’s up, Maria?” I ask casually and she turns to face me.
“First of all, I fucking did not fuck Michael! Second, I can’t find the damned key to the basement; we’re out of mustard... And third, your new friend is here... But I suggest you get him the hell out of here cause it’s getting busy and I can’t cover your ass today! I told you that last night! Everyone is sick! Agnes is out, Jose is gone... WE ARE ALL ALONE and it’s a freakin’ mad house out there without mustard on the tables!”
“Um...” I think for a second, and automatically go to work. Problem solving is one of my bestest traits. I can always find the answer to whatever problem is in front of me.
I grab the mustard bottles from her hands, give them to Max, who looks a bit confused and out of place. I then, open my locker, rummage around for a second or two and find the key to the basement under my change of clothes, give it to her, and send her on her way...
See? Problem solved.
But now, I have to deal with Max.
Which, oddly enough, seems to be the only problem I can’t solve.
“That was... That was...” Max narrows his eyes, smiles shyly, and tried to figure out exactly what that was. Maria was already out of the room, so, I let myself laugh a little.
“That was one of Maria’s normal freak outs. No sweat.” I smile and take the bottles back. “But she’s right... You should get out of here. Things are really insane today.”
I am in control. I can keep my cool.
I will keep my cool.
And my control.
I’m repeating all that and more over and over in my head.
I came up with it last night.
I thought it would help.
But I’m starting to doubt that’s it’s doing anymore than making me sound kinda stupid...
“Hey, you woke me up at fucking 7:30 in the morning and told me to get my ass out of bed and now you’re telling me, I don’t need to be here?” He doesn’t sound upset, he sounds rather amused, actually. And I can’t help but smile again.
“Yeah, I know... Sorry about that.” I apologize and start unscrewing the empty bottles of yellow goo. “We’re really short today and...”
“Then let me help out.” He interrupts, insanely causally. And I stop. “Hey, I’m already here...”
Why does he want to help out?
If he helps out, he’ll be here... All day. With me.
I don’t think I can handle that.
No, I can’t handle that.
“Maybe that isn’t such a...”
I need to fix this. This isn’t me...
“What?” He shrugs and smirks. “I’m here and you’re busy.”
Fuck. Maria where are you? Come back! I can’t handle this! I need help!
“I can help Michael out after I re-fill the mustard.” He suggests and takes three steps toward me.
“But what?” He’s right in front of me. I’m talking right freaking in front of me. And I can’t breathe.
I’m Not Handling This!
“Noth...nothing...” I mumble and take a step back. I’m not breathing. “That’s fine. Aprons, aprons are over...” I swallow the lump in my throat and quickly look around the break room. I can’t find any aprons. And I still can’t breathe. And he’s freaking right in front of me. “Ask...ask Michael where the fucking aprons are! I need...I need to go... I need to go somewhere...else... Right now...”
And with that, I leave.
I bolt, really.
I couldn’t handle it.
I turn around and shove my way through the “employees only” door and I don’t stop until I find myself outside on Main Street, mustard bottles still in hand.
This morning, I wanted nothing more then to sort this whole thing out.
I wanted to stay in control and talk this out.
But it’s not working like that.
And if I don’t start getting a handle on things, I’m going to be dead.
Or at least, heartbroken...
Which really, if you think about it, is just as bad...
God, this isn’t me...
|posted on 26-Jan-2003 2:03:19 AM by destinyrebel|
I did it! I did it! I did it!
Last week, I completed all of my freaking finals! And I think I did well on like, all of them! Oh my freakin' god... I did it! Do you guys know what that means? That means I'll be under a really minimal amount of stress for a good couple months, hopefully, leaving me with a bunch of time to write... Oh, it's going to be so awesome... I just know it...
Anyway, guys... Thank you so much for all of the FB and BUMPS... I'm so happy you remembered this fic and still wanted to read. That's really truly awesome!
Anyway, well... I'm pooped. So, I'm going to go crash but I'll be back tomorrow with more of this... So, watch for it...
|posted on 27-Jan-2003 2:07:59 AM by destinyrebel|
The awesomeness of all of you is beyond amazing and beyond me!!! I love you, each and every one...
But now that that’s out of the way, any of you see tonight’s episode of Alias? Dudes, I can’t even begin to babble about the wonderfulness of it all... The wonderfulness, the pure wonderfulness... It was joy to watch!
Anyway, so, um, my fic... Well, the update is a little longer than most, which is weird cause I actually got done with it, then lost it and had to re-write it all but either way, it’s here and I hope you enjoy! And if ya do, let me know! I live for that sort of stuff. As you all know all too well...
|posted on 27-Jan-2003 2:10:06 AM by destinyrebel|
|Not So Complicated.|
Locked inside my bedroom...
That’s were I am.
And that’s where I intend to stay.
Locked outside my bedroom...
That’s were he is.
And that’s where he intends to stay.
“Go the hell away!” I scream for the umpteenth time, over the music that’s blasting from my stereo. “Go. The. Hell. Away!”
It’s simple enough. Right?
He should get it...
“Why’d you run out of the back room? I won’t leave until you answer me... You know that. So, whatever... Ball’s in your court.”
He’s used that argument for the past half an hour.
He hasn’t changed it one bit.
“GO THE HELL AWAY, MAX!”
I haven’t changed my either.
“Why?” He asks moans and it’s the cutest sound I’ve heard in a while. But I won’t let it faze me. “I want to know why you...”
“I don’t care!” I yell but end up frowning at the same time.
That is such a lie...
You can see right through it, can’t you?
I wonder if he can?
See, I’m actually freakin’ delighted that he thought enough to come after me when I ran out of the back room, freaked cause I couldn’t breathe. But I didn’t actually think he would follow me all the way up to my room...
“I do!” He calls.
“Why?” I answer.
Fazed? Yeah, well, that’s an understatement we can all use you...
I’m well beyond fazed...
And you know, I’ve kinda had enough of this... I’ve come up with every excuse I could possibly think of. But he won’t accept any of them...
I even went as far as telling him that my Aunt Flow came to town and that I leaked on my jeans.
He told me I was wearing my Crashdown uniform and that he’s never even seen me in a pair of jeans.
Then he asked who the hell “aunt flow” was...
Boys are so dim.
“I don’t know...” He takes a breath and answers quietly. I can hear him sliding down the door so he can sit.
I frown again and go to my stereo, turning it down from blaring Dashboard Confessional to only playing it in the background.
“You there?” He asks when he notices the change in noise volume coming from my room.
“Yeah.” I reluctantly answer and walk to my door, finding a place to sit. “Why don’t you know?” I ask quietly, wanting to know the answer but still really nervous about the whole thing.
I imagine him shrugging and smiling slightly. “Cause I do...”
“You’re such an ass...”
“Aren’t I allowed a freak out?” I sigh and start picking the carpet that surrounds me. I wish he would give me a few straight answers...
“Yeah, defiantly. But I just want to know that it wasn’t me that...freaked you out...” He tells me cautiously and I hear him sigh as well.
He’s so freaking cute.
“You didn’t do anything...” I mutter and wipe my hands over my face.
“Michael said I probably did.”
“He said you only freak out when something big happens, something really big...”
“And you know, you dealt with Maria freaking out and then I said I would stay and help out and you just... Well, you ran out still holding the mustard bottles that I was supposed to re-fill.”
I close my eyes for a second, open them, and find myself starring at the earlier said empty bottles. They are currently on top of my CD player, probably cursing me for taking them away from the Greek God that is Max Evans...
I mutter a sorry to them before slowing standing up. Time to face the music.
I turn towards the small mirror next to my door and I take a look at myself. And find that, surprise!, I look like shit.
“Liz?” He asks quietly? I don’t answer.
Cause I think he really cares.
He seems to really freakin’ care.
And that’s good, right?
Maybe I’m not only one in like...
Maybe he’s freaked cause he thinks he’s wrecked any chance he has with me...
Maybe I’ll open the door and he’ll have a white rose or something in his hand and a great pair of puppy dog eyes shining right at me...
Maybe he’ll profess that he likes me and that he wants to take me to the damned Soap Factory party tomorrow night.
Maybe he’ll smile shyly and I’ll melt.
Maybe he’ll kiss me...
At the last insane thought, I let a dopey grin cover my face.
Cause hell, maybe just maybe...?
I smooth out my hair, lick my lips, and pull open the door.
And Max falls back, knocking me down.
“Fuck!” He screams out of pure shock.
“Oww!” I scream out of pure pain. “What in the hell?!”
He starts laughing hysterically, ignoring the fact that he’s essentially laying on top of me, and instead, tries to choke out an apology. “I didn’t...! You opened the door...! I fell...”
“You ass!” I scream again and start squirming under him.
“Hey, your fault!” He smirks and looks up at me. “You opened the door… I fell.”
I take one look at him and sigh. He fell, alright. “But no white rose...”
“What?” He stops himself from laughing when he recognizes my tone and starts to sit up. “No white what?”
“Nothing...” I mutter and mentally kick myself.
“You okay?” He asks before reaching his hand out to help me after he was able to compose himself and stifle the last of his laughter.
“Dandy, just dandy...” I groan and get up on my own. He looks a little taken aback but covers quickly.
“Well, that was fun...”
“You sure you’re okay?”
“Whatever. I need to get back to work...”
Kill me now.
Just kill me now and get it over with.
Oh, and while you’re at it, kill Michael too. Cause he’s an ass.
A big fat ass...
“Go fuck yourself, Michael!”
“Michael, I am not the mood!”
“I can see that... Touchy, much?”
“Go. Fuck. Your. Self.”
Oh wow... Look at that. Another set of four words. I wonder if he’ll do a better job of getting it than Max did earlier today...
“Michael, leave her alone...” I hear Maria tell him soothingly, and I send them both death glares through the order window. “Why don’t you take off?”
“Yeah! Why don’t you leave? You big fat ass!” I yell as I continue to bus the last booth in the Café.
I want to die...
I want to die...
I want to die...
I start singing it in a singsong voice in my head.
I want to die...
I want to die...
I want to die...
It’s got a good beat but I’ve got to work on the timing...
“Liz?” Maria comes to stand in front of me with a look of pain on her face.
“Huh?” I ask and continue to clean the table. First I continue removing the dishes and silverware, then I put all the half used napkins in the glasses and put them on top of the plates, then I place the salt and pepper shakers where they belong, then I give the table top a good rub down and then I’m done... I smile tightly as I pass Maria and then make my way to the kitchen.
“Big ass is gone?” I ask in a chipper voice.
“Since when does Mikey have a big ass?” She asks from the dinning area.
“Since he made Max follow me...” I sigh and place the dirty dishes, glasses, and silverware in the sink.
“Yeah, what about that?” Maria asks as she turns on the radio. “I didn’t get the whole story...”
“There isn’t much of a story.” I say before starting the dishwasher and making my way back to the dinning area and where Maria was currently re-wiping down all the tables.
“Well, you want to tell me anyway?”
I look at her for a second and decide, I can’t hold it in any longer.
There isn’t a point anymore, anyway...
I am so not liked by Max Evans and his Greek Godness and I might as well whine and moan about it with my best friend, right?
“I think I love/like him...”
“You what?” She asks and rushes to my side. “Max? Max Evans? Fucking Asshole Evans?!”
I smile when she uses the name I came up with. “Yeah, Fucking Asshole Evans...”
“Chica, right now... S-P-I-L-L! You love him?!”
“Oh hun, you’re screwed...”
I’ve heard those few words about a hundred times during my re-telling of what happened with Max this morning and what has been happening for the past few days...
“You’re so screwed...”
Yeah, they are far from comforting.
But still, oddly motivating...
“Maria...” I whine and sink lower in my seat. “I need your brain right now... I need your scheming brain... I need a plan!” I tell her and pound my fist into the table in front of me for emphasis.
“A scheme?” She asks just as I turn to face her.
“Yes.” I answer simply, nod my head, and oddly rub my hand.
That hurt more than I thought it would...
“A scheme?” She repeats and narrows her eyes. “A plot? A plan? A strategy? A line of attack?”
A human thesaurus?
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, AND YES!” I nod energetically. “I want a plan that will knock him off his feet!”
“Are you sure?” She looks a bit reluctant. But she’s also got that Deluca glint in her eye. The one that says she already come up with about fifty different plans that are guaranteed to work out but she’s not sure if I’m ready to do all that I will be needed to do.
“Yes.” I tell her stubbornly, answering her both her hidden and non-hidden questions. “At this point, whatever it takes... I need to get this worked out before I drive myself absolutely insane!”
“Okay then...” She smiles devilishly and I know I’ve got her on my side.
“So, a plan...” She sits down at one of the bar stools in front of the counter and pats the one next to her. “You coming?”
“Yeah!” I smile excitedly, dropping the wash cloth I was holding, and literally skipping all the way out of the booth I was stilling in and to the stool next to her.
“Okay...” She takes a deep breath and fishes out her order book from her apron. “We need to sort things out... We know WHO and WHY and WHAT. But we don’t know WHAT, WHERE, or WHEN. Right?” She turns to me.
I think for a second...
Who = Max freakin’ Evans.
What = Get him to somehow let me know how he feels about me.
Where = No clue.
When = No clue.
Why = Cause I’m in like/love with him.
Yeah, pretty much.
“Yeah, pretty much.” I again smile excitedly and watch as she jots down a few ideas and such.
My original plan wasn’t supposed to include Maria.
Don’t get me wrong or anything, I love her but she can be a really good schemer... A pro, even. And I’m just a little scared that she is going to take it a step or two too far...
Which, I guess I can handle, cause I’ll get what I want from it, but I want to come out with the least bit of embarrassment on my part as I can... You know?
I figured if I wanted control, I was going to have to know the situation.
If I had everything planned out and every possible scenario accounted for, I knew I would be able to handle myself. I would be able to keep myself under control.
“Okay...” She sighs after a moment and I take the opportunity to look over her shoulder. “Don’t do that!” As I’m in mid-neck stretch she swats me away. “That’s for later...” She looks at me pointedly and places her order book face down in front of her. I frown.
“Ria, that’s not...”
“Fair? Hardly. Doesn’t matter, though.” She smirks and pats my head... “Baby, I’ve some ideas for you... But one at a time. Understand?”
“Yeah...” I answer glumly and prop my head up with my elbows.
I’m slowly losing hope. Can you tell?
“Good. Okay. Now, go to my car and get me my CDs... And stop looking so glum! You won’t believe what I’ve come up with!”
(About Fifteen Minutes Later - - -)
“No freakin’ way in hell!!!”
“No freakin’ way in any hell known to any man!!!”
“Lizzie! You wanted my help!”
“Maria, you honestly could only come up with that? You are insane!”
“He’s an asshole. I fell for an asshole.”
“So, I’m not going to get up on stage in front of everyone at school and profess my love for him... You’re insane!”
“In school, not at school. This is just a normal party at the old Soap Factory. It’s perfect! And listen to the song again... It’s flippin’ perfect! I’m a genius!”
My mouth begins to open so I can shoot another protest at Maria but her hand comes quickly and covers it.
“Ria...” I struggle but she doesn’t remove her hand. Instead, she guides me back to the stereo and makes me sit in front of it again.
“Just think...” She wiggles her eyebrows and clicks the CD player on. “We could work out some sort of dance to go along with it... Like they do in the movies... And we could put you in something nice and...revealing... And he will hit the roof!”
“Huh uh!” I scream and squirm under her hand, finally getting away. “Maria, this isn’t some sort of teen movie... I’m not going to sing a pop song, dance around, and shove my less-then-there cleavage in his face! That fucking insane!”
“But the song fits! Perfectly!” She argues and presses play...
“No way in hell!” I argue and press pause...
“It will work!”
“Not like that!”
“Why won’t you let me help you?”
“I’ll let you help me, but not fucking Leanne Rimes!”
“Then what the hell do you want to do?” Maria sighs disappointedly and takes a step away from the stereo.
“I don’t know!” I look down at the plug in my hand and wonder if it will fit around my neck... “I’m fucking screwed!”
“What have I been telling you?!”
I’m going to have to work something out...
Shit, I am fucking screwed!
|posted on 30-Jan-2003 12:21:25 AM by destinyrebel|
Argh. You know how I thought I would have more time cause of the beginning of the semester being slow? Well, I was wrong. So, so wrong... I don’t know what’s wrong with my teachers but I get there and one after another, they throw dumbass projects and stupid state tests in my face... I’ve only been back for two days and already I’m swamped... Damn those blood suckers... Anyway, okay, Ive got the next part written up in the back of my math notebook (Hehe. Okay, so, I found something more productive to do then learn more crappy geometry... Whatever. ) and I will do my best to get it typed up tomorrow after I get home... So, until then, thanks for sticking around with the bumps and the FB... It has all been so flippin motivational! I dont know what to do with myself... Its true. I took a shower this morning and ran over the next three parts of this thing in my head... It was oddly funny, or it *was* oddly funny, until I realized that I had ten minutes to get out before the bus came and left but anyway, you get the point! You guys are awesome!!! THANK YOU! And I will be back as soon as I can!
[ edited 2 time(s), last at 30-Jan-2003 12:23:29 AM ]
|posted on 31-Jan-2003 9:56:18 PM by destinyrebel|
Just some things I wanted to say to you guys... I’m going to try and write my essay for US History in a hurry and then start part seven of this... So, hold your breathes and keep your fingers crossed... Cause dudes, I’ve never been flaky before and I don’t intend to start! No, I’ll do my best! Love you all! Thank you for bumps and the FB and the love! It’s all simply wonderful!!!
frenchkiss70, let me assure you and everyone else, there is a back up plan... I swear! And no, as fun as that would be, I don’t go to school in Sunnydale. But honestly now, it would be lots of fun? At least, I would have known Angel and all his cuteness...
Oh and cause for some reason, I’m too lazy to go post on the other thread... In the new fic I’m doing, I believe I have Liz somewhere around the age of 16/17... I guess marrying age back then was around that age and I wanted to make a big deal about that later in the fic... Um, the men riding with her and Sir Philips will be more explained later... Next part, I think... Oh and yes, his amber eyes did give him away, didn’t they? I couldn’t resist. I had to have her recognize him somehow... Anyway, I’ll edit and post part three later tonight... So, look out for it!
marteloise, thank you so much for the kind words!
Dream Seeker, so, another one of my stalkers return... I missed you! And I’m so sorry there were family issues to deal with. We’ve all been there and I think we can all understand... But I’m glad things are slowly working themselves out... Great to have you back!!!
roswellluver, thank you! It’s really my pleasure to write this stuff... Glad you are here to read it!
On A High, you are such a dumbass! Where the hell did you get “On A High”? Youre insane. But either way, glad I finally convinced you to figure out this thing I keep talking about... Fanfiction, you will become obsessed... That’s how I ended that paper I had to write last semester... Mr. Sikking got a kick out of that...
AlienDreamer101, I just have to point out that I LOVE YOUR ICON! I remember that song and it always make my laugh my ass off... Anyway, thanks for reading!
pure dreamer, gracias! No era nada. Pero gracias para leer. I am so failing my Spanish 1 class, so, sorry if I messed that up... But anyway, THANK YOU!
Roswellian Fanatic, what did you do? Sarah, I swear! Tell me! You have to tell me! You can’t just tell me that I’m going to “flip a lid” and then not tell me what I’m going to flip about! Tell me, tell me, tell me!!! NOW! Not when it “pans out” but now! What Did YOU Do?!
Oh and yeah, love ya and thanks for reading!
aZNroSweLl anglgrl, haha! Where to start...? First, yeah, it’s a secret but I was listening to ‘Right Kind Of Wrong’ by LeAnne Rimes during a workout last week and I just laughed when I thought of it in regards to Max and Liz in this fic... So, I just had this...vision...of Liz up on stage dancing and singing that... Thought it was funny... Anyway, your fic is amazing! Thank you for writing and posting! And thank you for inflating my ego just a bit tiny bit... You are really sweet!
Ripley Rip Tide, it’s all flippin’ too funny... I think it did start as a coincidence but it just slowly became this kick ass inside joke thing... I love it! And hey, don’t ever let anyone forbid you to use this “F-WORD”! It’s your flippin’ right! POWER TO THE FLIPPIN’!!! Oh yeah, baby!!!
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 31-Jan-2003 10:03:15 PM ]
|posted on 6-Feb-2003 1:41:57 PM by destinyrebel|
|Damn it... Guys, I’m so sorry... School has sucked this week. I havent had a second to breathe until today... And thats only cause I had to call in sick for the first part of school today... Yesterday I was at school from six in the morning to ten at night helping with the open house. It was fun and all, I got to hang out with an old crush that I think I still like , but it was really physically tiring... Anyway, okay, I’ve got the first three pages written and I’m off now right finish the rest. So...|
frenchkiss, find some damned chocolates for me and try turning those telepathic messages into bouts of motivation.
Ripley, start typing up your own new update of Capital L, cause I’m flippin’ coming with mine...
Dream Seeker, stop making me jealous! My brother comes home from college every single freakin weekend... Its hell! Its not fair that you even like your sister and that she only comes home once in a while. I so want that!!!
And strawberry, thanks, hun, for remembering and coming back!
Alright, guys, I’m gone. But I’ll be back! Woohoo! I still have 2 hours before I’m due back at the salt mines, better known as, school... Happy Thoughts All Around!!! Please?
PS> Psst! frenchkiss, I updated that other "thing" on the other thread... Let me know what you think? Love ya much!!!
Edited Cause: I needed to add the PS thing... No, duh!!!
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Feb-2003 1:44:25 PM ]
|posted on 6-Feb-2003 2:12:51 PM by destinyrebel|
|Oh God... That’s just fucking depressing... Did any of you read this article? http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,285962~7~~,00.html The link was posted by willowfan on the magnet thread about the newest bout of plagiarism...|
Wow... It really freakin’ kicked me to the ground... You know, I think I’m going to stop at the three pages I’ve got of NSC and go take a hot shower instead... Maybe I’ll feel better when I get home from the salt mines... Maybe I can go find my crush and maybe he can cheer me up... Oh hell, I don’t even know if that will work either...
Anyway, it’s hella depressing but I think something that also needs to be read... So, yeah, beware...
|posted on 7-Feb-2003 12:36:12 PM by destinyrebel|
Yeah, that thing really depressed me... But what the hell? I enjoy fanfiction and I’m not going to stop cause one ignorant ass doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about... Right? Right.
frenchkiss, you awesome, awesome you! You sent Godiva! I couldn’t have asked for anything better... Thank you!
Ripley, answers by the name of Max? Hmm... That’s not the same Max I saw running around my house this morning, was it? The one in his boxers? The one professing his love for me? Wow... Wouldn’t that be funny... Oh and you better be typing, babe! Cause I’m posting!
Roswellian Fanatic, it’s impossible to bring a mocha to school and not share... So, I’ve found it’s better to give it up willing then have someone steal it away while I’m trying to copy down the fucking BIO notes... Shame on you, Sarah!!! Shame!!!
On A High, I am alive! Alive and well... At least, as of right now... I mean, I’ve got a killer headache but yeah... Life goes on...
strawberry, you know, that picture didnt come up... But the little square box thing with the little red X through it did look kinda cute, so it didnt fail completely! It got a smile out of me! Thank you!
Alright, back to business... I don’t know about this part... Kinda not the right voice going on but yeah, it’s here and it’s not really that bad, so... Enjoy. Let me know what you think... And thank you all for sticking around and bumping and making me feel loved!
|posted on 7-Feb-2003 12:37:25 PM by destinyrebel|
|Not So Complicated.|
So today, in my worn out and faded-hip hugging blue jeans, my black Converse tennis shoes, and my black spaghetti strap tank top, I sit on my perfectly made bed as I flip through a Pottery Barn catalog, not at all thinking about the impending issues I have with Max Evans and me telling him how I feel and me finding out how he feels.
And for a second, I’m happy just checking out the new Spun Candles that run from $9 to $12 on page 83...
Screw the Soap Factory’s party tonight.
Why did I even set that deadline? It’s not reasonable. Yes, I tripped and fell for Max Evans way too soon. But that doesn’t mean I should act on it.
God, I’ve only known the guy a few days... Hell, I could the count the number on my ten fingers and still have a few left over to flip off a couple idiots.
It wasn’t rational.
And neither was Maria’s plan.
I mean, come on... Are you kidding me?!
Yes, serenading “Fucking Asshole Evans” would have gotten his attention and my feelings across but is that how I really want it to happen? Do I really want to get rejected with two weeks left of school? Have everyone either laugh or feel bad for me as I’m trying to figure out what the fuck is on my algebra two final?
And that’s why I’m going to bottle everything up.
It’s a perfect plan.
We can go on being all “buddy-buddy” and I will live with my crush secretly.
No one but Maria and Alex will know.
And yeah, they’ll bug the hell out of me during summer’s upcoming long months but I’ll find a way to eventually shut them up.
In the long run, it’s worth it.
It has to be.
Cause when it comes down to it, I know we can’t actually be together.
I mean, why the fuck would he want to be with me?
Contrary to my insane mother’s opinion, I’m really not that special.
And frankly, I would rather have his friendship.
Our beautifully amusing acquaintance is really too important to screw over.
At least, right now...
Maybe that will change.
Maybe it won’t.
But it’s not the time.
And not by singing some song telling him he’s the “right kind of wrong”.
I told Maria I would come up something.
And I have.
She’s going to hate, though...
She’s going to kick and scream and fight me the whole way, but it’s what I’ve come up with... It’s what I’m going to force myself to stick to.
No Matter What.
I’m serious, I’ve even done a few things to secure it...
I’ve taken my car to the shop... It won’t be ready for another sixty-four hours, guaranteed by one incompetent Kyle Valenti.
I showered this morning but I didn’t shave my legs... What freakin’ girl would make a move on a guy with a five o’clock stubble on her legs?
I even promised my dad I would work and close the Crashdown tonight... He was so freakin’ happy, that he made plans to take my mom out.
And I won’t wreck that by going to some over rated teenage party.
Snapping out of my thoughts and plans for staying away from the party tonight and not telling Evans my feelings, I answer the muffled female voice tiredly. I’ve been up for hours this morning, enjoying dealing with my problems in my head without interruptions but hey, I guess I knew my happiness couldn’t have lasted that long... It never does. “Yeah?”
“Liz, Alex is down here and he really wants to talk with you! Can you come down?”
“Yeah, I guess!” I call back to the sixteen year old girl who is most likely standing at the top of the stairs that lead into my family’s apartment. “You know, it’s not like I didn’t want to work today cause I had other things to take care of...” I sigh sarcastically before pushing myself off of my bed and out of my room. I take my time and reach Selena just as she was coming to look for me. “How bad is it?” I ask automatically.
“It’s bad.” She shakes her head and starts down the small flight of stairs. “José is MIA and Michael can’t find his motorcycle’s keys, so, he’s got to walk over... But I’m handling it. Anyway, Alex just wants to talk with you, not rope you into waitressing.”
Once downstairs, I fully understand the chaos Selena must be dealing with by looking through the little window in the middle of the door that leads into the dining area...
Everything is everywhere and everyone is screaming everything. And as expected, at the very moment, Michael walked in the middle of it all, and started screaming for everyone to “shut the hell up for a second”.
“Shit.” I mutter before turning to look at Selena. “You want me to cover for you?”
Hell, I’m not going to get anywhere else with my thinking and planning, so, I might as well give the girl a break. Right? And it’s not like those Spun Candles are going anywhere, either.
“Honestly?” She looks like she needs it. And like she doesn’t believe me.
I smile. I’ve been there so many times before... “Hey, can I have your apron? I don’t even think I have time to...”
“Be my guest...” She interrupts me as quickly as she can with a grateful smile that could light up a flippin’ city. “Just take good care of it.” She jokes after quickly untying the alien head shaped apron from around her waist. “Besides, I’m on break...” And with that she winks and makes a makes a b-line towards the back door of my parent’s crappie restaurant, the good ole CrashDown Café...
You would think that working in my parent’s restaurant would bring some kind of perk and I always look for one but I still always seem to fail to see one.
Plain and simple.
I don’t like working in it.
And today, it’s just all the same...
“Hey, Liz?! I want you to meet someone!” Over the chaos of the CrashDown’s early noon rush, I hear someone enter the café and yell my name almost instantly. So, I stuff table #9’s order on one of the little order holder thingys, decide it’s as good as time as any to stop working since Selena has been back for the past fifteen minutes, and spin around to see Alex and a tall, modeling job worthy, blonde chick laughing together.
What the hell?
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love Alex to death, as I love Maria to death, he’s my best friend, as is Maria, but it’s no secret that him and tall blondes is not something that happens very often.
So, as I walk over, I try to place her... She’s not from school. I haven’t seen her in any of my classes... She could be some weird relative or something. But wouldn’t he have mentioned her? And besides, with them being all obviously flirty with each other, it would just be kinda grouse. Right?
Weird. I wonder who she is.
And what Alex did to get her to notice him.
“Hey, Alex...” I smile semi-sweetly. “Who’s this?” Yeah, I’m back to not beating around the bush... I’m curious and my curiosity normally gets the better of me. So... Yeah.
“This...”Alex looks are her and then me and back again. “This is Miss Isabel Evans.” He finishes with a proud smile/smirk thing as he wraps his arm around her perfect shoulders. “Max’s sister...”
And with that, I feel like a frying pan had been bashed over my head.
“What?” I stutter and narrow my eyes.
That is Max Evans’ sister?
Are you kidding me?
“Hi.” She smiles sincerely. I can see her out of the corner of my eye.
But I ignore her.
“You know, she’s just as new in town as Max and I bumped into her... And we started talking and...and even though I’m not one of West Roswell High’s elite, she has accepted my offer to taking her to the factory party tonight...” I stare at Alex with my mouth hanging open as he retells their story like it’s a fairy tale or something. Jokes and humor included.
“What?” I repeat again and watch as she blushes at Alex’s comments.
Oh my god...
“I’m not enrolled this year so I’ve been pretty out of the loop. Max mentioned the party but apologized because he didn’t want to show up with his sister, and when I met Alex and he asked, it was perfect.” She smiles at me and explains her side of the tale.
Max knows about the party?
But didn’t want to take his sister?
Is there someone else?
Oh my god! There’s someone else! He wants to go with someone else!
I can feel my eyes widen and my mouth instantly turn dry.
Oh my god...
“...talking to Maria this morning and we all know she is dragging Michael, so, we are all going to go together...” I tune back into Alex and try to pay attention but that frying pan feeling is back... This isn’t good.
I didn’t factor this in.
I never, never thought he could be interested in someone else.
But god, it’s true. It has to be.
And what’s wrong with me for not realizing it?
Of course he would be into someone!
Roswell High’s got a lot of girls... A lot of slutty hos that attack attention.
He probably likes Pam Troy or Courtney or... Oh god... Tess Harding...
I feel like I’m going to puke...
Seriously. This is not good.
“...she’s insane, she really is but she had a good idea. So, what do you think?”
I stare at Alex and blink. What’d he say?
“Maria. Her idea. It was good.” He says with a smirk then takes a good look at me and narrows his eyes, realizing something. “You okay, Liz? You look like you’re going to be sick...”
I swallow and blink again. “I’m fine. What we’re you saying?” I shake my head and clear the nasty thoughts of Tess shoving her all-too-there cleavage in Max’s face and asking him to take her to the party.
It’s all too revolting. I can’t deal with it.
“You look kind of pale. Are you sure you are okay?”
I nod and wrap my hands around my waste, trying to stop myself from shuttering. The sooner he tells me Maria’s “good idea”, the sooner I can reject it and the sooner I can get out of here. “What idea? What plan?” I ask in a rush.
Isabel laughs quietly and I finally give her my attention. “He would kill me if he knew I was doing this, I think he kind of wanted to pick out his own date but...”
“You want me to fucking set him up?!” My breath catches in my throat and I swallow a whole hell of a lot of bile. Is she insane?!
“What?” She asks and frowns at me. But I don’t see it.
She wants me to set him up.
She wants ME to set HIM up!
To Way In Fucking Hell!!!
“Fine.” The word pops out of my mouth before I realize the exact meaning behind it. But for some reason I’ve gone into autopilot and things are just going on their own...
No fucking white rose.
That’s all I can think about...
“What?” I hear her repeat and see her frown again but I’m back to ignoring her.
“Who? Huh? Pam? Country? Vikki?” I start out quietly but before I know, my voice is in this weird shrill high pitched Maria sounding thing and both Alex and Isabel are looking at me like I’m a crazy person.
Well, excuse me! It’s their fault!
Oh my god! I’m going to kick her skinny ass!
What is her problem?! Telling Alex I could set Max up...! After everything I told her yesterday night... She knows how I feel!
“Liz... That’s not...” Isabel looks scared. I think I’m scaring her.
“What? They’re not ho-ish enough for your saint of a brother?! Fine! How ‘bout Tess Harding? Huh? She’s the flippin’ town slut! And you know what? I’ve even have her number handy!” I’m fuming! I’m pissed! And I think I’m crying...
“Lizzie, would calm down?” Alex has finally taken his arm off of Isabel Evans and is walking towards me. But I’m backing away at the same time.
This is not good.
“Her fucking phone number is in the bathroom! My dad keeps painting over it but secretly, I keep putting it back up! He doesn’t know, though...!” I’m still using my shrill voice and I swear I can feel hot tears running down my cheeks.
Alex looks worried and Isabel still looks scared.
But what the hell did they expect? They asked me to set up a boy that I’m in like with and what did I do? I lost control.
Even though he’s not even here, Max Evans still made me lose control... Like he has every single other time...
“No, Alex... I think they would make a perfect couple! A fucking perfect couple of fucking perfect assholes and fucking perfect sluts!!!” It’s at that moment that the half of the café that was trying to ignore me finally looked up and gasped along with the first half that was nosy from the beginning. All was silence after that...
My crying continued, though. I look at Alex, he looked so sad... So sympatric. Part of me wanted to run to his arms and yell and scream into his shoulder but the other part, couldn’t help but look at perfect Isabel Evans and the horrified look on her face...
God, she was going to go home and tell Max...
I knew she will...
It would be just like her type...
“Ohh... Like I totally met that girl you were talking about! And she was like totally insane! TOTALLY!!! Plus, I think she likes you... EWW!”
God, what I have I done?
|posted on 14-Feb-2003 8:31:21 PM by destinyrebel|
|Argh! No time! I’m really late! But I wanted to get this posted before I split for the night... Ill resond to the pervous FB as soon as I get back... But either way, thank you guys so much for all you've written and said! I love you all! Oh and Happy Crappy Love Day!!! If you arent alone, youre a lucky bitch... If you are, I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!! |
Not So Complicated.
The CrashDown Café’s only bathroom...
It’s got a toilet, a sink, and a certain phone number that I can’t seem to take my eyes off of.
Good Time = 526-9305
17/Slutty Vagina Holder/Roswell, NM
-Ask For Tess-
I take a deep breath and close my eyes.
Sharpies are dangerous things. Really dangerous...
Especially if it’s me holding one...
I take another deep breath as I open my eyes and realize that I still can’t seem to focus on anything but that little note hidden just under the right side of the mirror. Damn Max Evans. And damn Tess Harding.
God, they would make a perfect couple, though... New bad boy in town, hooking up with Slutness Harding. It’s almost too perfect...
Him with his whole “look how cool and dark I am” attitude and her with her whole “I can get whatever I want just by flashing some skin” vibe... It’s sick.
And bloody perfect.
I really should have seen it sooner.
I don’t know why I didn’t.
Blocked it out, I guess...
God, how sad am I?
Three light knocks on the restroom’s door break me out of my mental rant and I walk over and crack the door open, almost glad for the distraction. “Yes?” I ask with raised eyebrows. This better be good... I was having a very nice self-pitying talk with myself.
“Sweetie, I have to pee... You said you would be out in five minutes...”
I narrow my eyes at the middle aged lady in front of me and recognize her from table seven. She had three refills on her black coffee and I assumed she was telling the truth.
That stuff can go through an old person pretty quick.
“Well, why don’t you come back in five minutes, then?”
It seems simple enough.
See, I don’t want to leave the confines of the room I’ve currently locked myself into until a certain asshole’s sister leaves... I don’t want to face her. I don’t have the guts.
Funny, I found myself having the almost exact thought just yesterday morning as I was trying to avoid and run away from her brother. Kinda makes me smile...
“Honey, you said it would only be five minutes, ten minutes ago... I have to pee! Please?”
I glare at the woman’s tone and mutter something about wanting another opportunity to spit in her coffee refills.
“Excuse me?” She asks, dumbfounded.
“Spit. In your coffee refill. Next time, there will be some...” I roll my eyes and step out of the spring morning scented restroom. “So, I recommend you get a soda next time you happen to stop by...”
What does she expect?
That all the waitresses in the world and at the CrashDown are perfect little angels?
Huh uh... I hardly think so...
Anyway, she’s mortified. And I’m sure by now, she really, really has to pee.
And I momentarily feel happy.
Being bitchy seems to have that effect on me. Sometimes, at least...
I wonder if I can keep it up...
I wonder if I can use it on the asshole’s sister.
Think I could take her?
You know, with my unshaven legs and my low rise jeans, my skin tight tank top and my trusty sneakers...
Or do you think I should just try to avoid her?
You know, make a dash for the back room, hoping that Alex doesn’t catch me.
Yeah, that’s sounds pretty good to me.
What do you think?
The sound of blared music...
It’s the first thing I heard as I walked into the apartment I call home.
Yup, I made it past Alex...
Just barely, actually, but that’s another story...
Let’s just say that I’m probably going to be giving him a twenty to pay for the dry cleaning costs I caused...
But again, anther story...
My mom must be back from doing her once-a-month shopping spree.
If there’s one thing you need to know about her, it’s that she loves to shop.
It’s like this obsession...
Every time she goes to the mall, she finds herself a shit load of stuff but she also gets a little something that she thinks I would look great in... And yeah, half of the time, I think she’s crazy and I have to return whatever she picked out, but then the other half, she actually does bring home some really kick ass things...
Like last time, she bought me this killer lace up black satin corset...
It’s to die for.
Only problem is, I don’t have the freakin’ guts it takes to wear something like that...
I mean, do you know how much cleavage it somehow makes appear? Dear god... It’s insane!
Maria swears it’s all me but when I look down when I’m wearing normal tanks and tops, I know it’s not all me...
Anyway, so, my mom’s back from her shopping trip probably getting ready for her big date out with my dad this evening...
I know. That’s sounds horrible, doesn’t it?
Well, sorry... But I’m still a little bitter...
The nerves of Max’s sister...
And I thought it was only something he needed to work on...
Boy was I flippin’ wrong...
I walk into the kitchen, where my mom is currently stationed and I stop dead in my tracks...
You know what’s really freaky?
Walking in on your mom while she’s singing and dancing to some radio hit.
You know what’s even freakier?
When she’s singing and dancing to ‘Volvo Driving Soccer Mom’.
Yup... It’s some freaky ass shit. Let me tell you...
“You know I used to be a bad girl,
I got busy in the bathroom at my high school prom.
I used to be a dancer at the local strip club,
But now I know my right wing from my wrong...”
My face instantly contorts into this hideous and frightened stare as my mom does a little spin and walks over to the stove. All thoughts of Isabel’s nerves are replaced and quickly forgotten about.
“I really used to be a bad girl,
I had a threesome with my sister and her boyfriend Tom.
Yes, I used to be a real wild child,
But now I am a Volvo-driving soccer mom...”
What the hell is she doing? Does she not realize the types of images that are getting burned into my brain? Does she not know she is scarring me? Does she not know that I’m standing behind her with my mouth hanging open?
“I really used to be a bad girl,
I got busted for possession of my wizard-shaped bong.
I used to do the things they tell me not to do,
But now I'm different--now I sing a new song...”
Jesus. What the hell is she on?
And did she just sing the word “BONG”?!
“I really used to be a bad girl,
I got gang-banged in the bathroom at my high school prom.
Yes, I used to be a real wild child,
But now I am a Volvo-driving soccer mom...
She wiggles her hips a bit and does a little spin on her way past me, towards the refrigerator.
I’m still stunned. I can’t do anything but stand and gawk.
God, would this be what I would look like if I went ahead with Maria’s all-too-awesome plan to woo Evans?
“Where do all the porn stars go,
When the lights go down?
Wonder where all the porn stars go,
'Cause when you need one, they are never around...”
“Eww!!!” I momentarily come out of my stunned state and scream. “That is just...just nasty!!!”
“It gets better, Honey...” She turns and promises before going to turn the stereo volume higher.
“Heard they moved out to the suburbs,
And now they're blonde, bland, middle-class Republican wives.
They've got blonde, bland, middle-class Republican children,
And Blonde, bland, middle-class Republican lives...”
And you know the only thing that comes to mind?
Thank freakin’ God that my mom is a Democrat and I’m a brunette.
“Where do all the porn stars go,
When the lights go down?
Wonder where all the porn stars go?
They all become Volvo-driving soccer moms...”
I have to admit, although the song is scarring me, she looks happy. Happier than I’ve seen her in a while...
“Just nasty...” I repeat, shutter, and make a dash to the stereo. I can only take so much...
“You touch that, and you won’t be seeing the inside of that soap factory death trap you and your school friends like until your twenty-one...” She warns with a smirk on her face.
Everyone, my mom... Nancy Parker.
“That’s not fair!” I whine and frown. “You’re not supposed to listen to stuff like that... And especially, not when I’m around...”
“Well, the old folk’s station has too much static and I’ve always loved Everclear... Remember when we used to listen to ‘So Much for the Afterglow’ on the way to your middle school? Everyday?”
I frown again.
“Honestly, Honey... I’m still allowed to listen to a little rock and roll...”
Rock and Roll?
Who says “rock and roll”?
“Eww! Just nasty!” I wrinkled my nose and shutter, once again... “Besides, I don’t freakin’ care if I don’t see that damned death trap for a long while...” I quickly make a dash for the radio and turn it off... Enough of that shit.
She turns to look at me... And I sigh. She’s giving me that look... You know the one...
It’s the one your mom gives you when she’s trying her damnest to be your friend and not your mom. She wants to know what’s going on...
And frankly, after telling Maria and knowing how that blew up in my face, I doubt it’s a good idea... But then again, my mom is pretty cool... And I’m feeling pretty crappy, so...
“I’m not going... Not tonight and not any other night...” That sums it up, right?
“Why? I thought you and Maria and Alex had this whole thing planned?” She asks and looks at me sadly. “Didn’t you guys even type up a two page essay about responsibility to give to your dad, so he would let you go?”
“Yes.” I sigh and walk over to our kitchen table. I pick the seat closest to the outside window and squint my eyes as the sun peaks through the random clouds. “But that was then... And this is now.”
“Well, what’s changed?” She asks and grabs two bottles of coffee flavored Starbucks Frappacinos, handing one to me and keeping one for herself.
I gratefully twist open the bottle and take a long sip, remembering that the last time I had one, was when I argued about the goodness of Starbucks with Max...
God, is that how my life is going to be? Am I just going to go around associating everything with something to do with Max Evans?
“Maria is going with Mikey G and apparently even Alex snagged a date...”
“And you haven’t?”
“Nope.” I shake my head. “I’m too unloved...”
“Well, I hardly think that’s true.” Uh oh. She’s going back into her mom voice... She’s no longer acting as my friend but as my mom who things I’m the specialest and smartest little girl that ever existed...! “You are a beautiful...”
“Young woman?” I shake my head again. “Yeah, mom, I know... But sometimes... Sometimes that’s not enough...”
“How can that not be enough?”
“Mom, I was just asked to set you the boy I like with the town slut. It’s just not enough. Anymore, at least...” I shake my head and smile sadly at her.
“Did you?” She narrows her eyes and I see a glint... Crap. If she tells me to sing and dance, I swear I will puke.
“Did I what?”
“Did you set them up?”
“No. But Alex will, or Maria will, or his sister will...”
“You know what I would do?”
“Sing and dance?”
“No.” She smiles and stands up, walking over to the stereo. She clicks it on and turns back around. “I would beat the town slut at her own game...”
“I’d go to that party... I’d go and make him the most jealous man there. And than when he was crawling on his hands and knees, begging me to consider him, I would walk away...”
“Honey, if he thinks he wants someone girl because she will have sex with him, then he’s not worth it... Make him see that.”
“As a friend, yes, but as a mother, I’m mortified that I’ve even recommended it.”
“But you’re serious? Beat her at her own game?”
You know, maybe that’s what I need to do.
Set him up with Tess and make him think he got the best.
But then walk in like I own the place and knock him dead.
Sounds good to me...
But now I just need some guts...
And that corset couldn’t hurt either...
Okay, I can do this...
All I need is some guts, a bit of cleavage, and a sharp razor.
Prepare yourself Max Evans... Cause I’m coming to knock your sorry ass out...
|posted on 17-Feb-2003 1:07:00 AM by destinyrebel|
|I'll be back with notes to everyone in about an hour... I have to eat dinner! Hehe... It's flippin' 10pm and I haven't eaten... I hate that... Anyway, enjoy this newest and oddest part!!!|
Not So Complicated.
This is not a teen movie.
You know it, I know it.
It’s just my life...
As I tend to see it.
And right now, I’m seeing it as screwed...
I just got off the phone with her great Slutness... She freakin’ giggled. Can you believe that? She’s almost an adult but she still flippin’ giggles...
Anyway, I told her that Max wanted to go to the party tonight but that he didn’t want to go alone... She told me to tell him that she would meet him on the dance floor at exactly ten-thirty. I told her I would and that leaves me to where I am now...
Staring at something new and having even awesomer conflicting thoughts...
But this time, instead of a phone number, I’m just looking at the phone.
And just thinking about the number...
The one he gave me cause we were supposed to get that damned inquiry project done. Which, might I add, has not been completed...
It’s due tomorrow morning and I don’t think we’ve even turned in that damned proposal that started this whole freakin’ affair.
We are screwed.
It’s plain and simple.
But who gives a crap?
It’s Sunday night and there’s a party to get to... Right?
Well, for some, at least...
I sigh heavily and roll my eyes...
This shouldn’t be that difficult.
The key is to call and do all the talking...
If he talks, he’ll spoil the whole thing.
I’m angry as shit with him but I’ll still melt... I always do.
Okay, so, I call and talk fast...
But what am I going to stay?
“Her Slutness with be accompanying you tonight...”
“I found some vagina holder to fucking dance with you...”
“She’s used but only half bad...”
Those are all wrong... Let’s see... What did mom say?
I need to toy with him. Right?
Okay, I can do that...
And you know if all else fails, that third option didn’t sound too bad either...
Haha. Used but only half bad...
That’s a good one...
“Ladies and gentlemen dining at the CrashDown as of this moment! As your waitress and friend, may I please have your attention?”
I’m standing on a soap box.
Okay, I’m really only standing on a chair but I’d look a lot cooler if I was actually on a soap box of some sort. Don’t ya think?
“Due to some prior plans made by me, this café will be closing tonight at nine. That only gives you fine folks an hour to eat and go away.”
Soap boxes are so awesome...
I remember one summer, Maria and Alex and I, found one at a garage sale... We bought it for a whole dollar and just spent hours announcing stupid ass things in the middle of Alex’s driveway...
Maria: “My mom dyes her hair!”
Alex: “I had a crush on Maria Deluca when I was five!”
Me: “Boys make me sad!”
Maria: “I’ve never been kissed!”
Alex: “But she threw mud at me and I stopped liking her cause I found out she was a stupid-head!”
Me: “I hate Roswell! I want to leave!”
Yeah, we were something like 11 years old...
After the statements were made, we were all a bit stunned.
I began to cry and Alex leaned over and kissed Maria.
She screamed, I screamed, hell, even Alex screamed.
It was hilarious...
“You don’t really have to go home but you can’t stay here... So, thank you for listening and everyone is going to receive a piece of pie for the inconveniences... Thank you and good night!”
“You closing cause of the party?” I look down and see the incompetent auto mechanic himself, Kyle Valenti, smirking up at me. He looks pretty causal tonight, wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and his letterman jacket. He’s actually not that bad looking... I mean, if you took the jock out of him...
And no, that’s not what I meant! You’re sick!!!
“Um...” I stare for another second and hop off of the chair that I was pretending was a soap box. Should I let him know? “Maybe.”
“You’re always so coy.”
Coy? Did Kyle Valenti just say “coy”? Dear god...
“Um, yeah, I am... Aren’t I?” I decide to humor him and I smile shyly to seal the deal... Hell, maybe I could even get him to dance with me tonight... That would be a kick to Evans...
All I need to do is make sure that I am more of a knockout than the town slut...
Guts, cleavage, and a razor.
I can do it.
“So, you going to save me a dance?” Bingo. That wasn’t so hard. All it took was a little girly grin.
I look down; it’s defiantly not the cleavage...
So, I must just be good...
Yay for me!
Score one for me! I think...
“Maybe...” I smile again and walk past him, towards the counter. I’ve got three milkshakes to make before I can kill the machine and dump it in the dish washing thing. “You really want one?”
“Of course...” He smiles and takes a seat in front of me.
Now how’s playing coy?
Did you know that Kyle Valenti was my first ever boyfriend? Yup... It was during the very last part of freshmen summer... It lasted right up until the end of the first week of school sophomore year...
That was the first week I was honestly and truly popular.
It was weird.
But I hated it.
I never said the right thing.
I never did the cool thing.
So, I got dumped.
But I never held it against him.
I understand the politics that make all public American high schools go round.
And anyway, he was really sweet about it...
He didn’t spread any rumors or gossip or stories about how “bad/good I was in the sack”.
So, yeah, he’s still a jock.
And I’m still not popular.
But he’s not too bad of a guy.
Mechanic, yes, but guy, no...
He smirks and chuckles lightly. “Come on, Lizzie... You and me have some history... Of course I want a dance...”
I smile sincerely and start finding the ingredients for the first of three shakes I have to make. “Your friends will talk.”
“Let them. They don’t know anything...”
I look up momentarily and remember why, before we got back to school, the two of us had some fun. “Alright, Valenti. You’re on.” I smile again. “One dance...”
“It’s all I’m asking for...” His smirk grows ten-fold, if that is even possible and he takes a ten out of his wallet. “For the burger...”
I take it and put in my apron, next to my order book. “You’ve always been a good tipper...”
“You’re worth it, Lizzie.” His comment made me look up... The smirk was long gone, but his tone was even and his eyes were honest.
Did I miss something?
“I know that...” I meekly answer him, not exactly sure what happened to change the light-hearted conversation to something completely focused on me and my significance.
“I don’t think you do...” He looks down for a second and looks back up at me. I’ve never seen him this serious, this...worried... “Liz, you’re a great girl... But you need to see that, so, other people will too. You know?”
“Yeah, I know...” Shit. Looking at him, seeing how he’s looking at me, I feel like I’m going to cry... Why did he say those things? Why did he say them now?
He’s silent for another minute or two and then suddenly snaps out of it like someone woke him up from a deep sleep and points towards the ice cream container on the counter between us. “Ice cream’s gonna melt...” He makes an effort to laugh but it comes out chocked.
I look down at the chocolate frozen treat and wish I had a spoon and a dark corner to hide in. “Thanks, Kyle...” I say it quietly, in an almost whisper but he hears it. And me.
“You’re welcome...” He nods and stuffs his hands in his jacket pocket. “And I’m going to find you tonight... You owe me a dance...”
“I do...” I smile again and can almost feel the tears starting to form at the corners of my eyes. “I’ll see you then.”
“Cool.” He nods again and turns to leave. And I just watch him go... Not sure exactly what to do next...
Oh yeah... Three milkshakes...
I place my hands right below my chest and turn to the right. And then to the left. And then back again.
I bend down and slightly roll up my pant leg... I run my over my left leg and nod to myself.
Razor/Shaven Legs: Check.
I put my pant leg back down and stand as tall and straight as I can before the mirror in front of me.
Guts: Kinda check...
My biggest issues are with the last thing... The guts.
The guts and glory...
The winning and finishing touch.
I do a once over and have to admit, I do look good.
I’m wearing that satin corset my mom got me two weeks ago, a pair of sleek, tight and slightly flared black side zip pants, and a pair of silver large hoop earrings. My hair is straightened and hanging around my shoulders perfectly and my make up is all dark and glossy...
I do look good.
But is this how I really want to win him?
Even if I’m going to dump him?
All it’s going to prove is that he is flippin’ shallow.
And that’s really nothing that needs to be reestablished.
Have we all forgetting that fact that he wanted a slut?
I don’t have much time... My cab is going to be here in less then ten minutes... I can either go as I am, change, or skip the whole thing all together...
But I have to make my decision quickly...
What is it going to be?
Ennie, meenie, minie, or moe...?