posted on 30-Jan-2003 11:59:21 PM by aZNroSweLl anglgrl
Title: Psycho Don’t Crack
Author: Justine
Disclaimer: Nothing.
Rating: PG-13
Category: M/L
Summary: Max is a straight-headed boy. Sean’s a delinquent. And Liz has weekly appointment with Dr. Evans.
Author’s Note: I wrote this a month ago and well I was reading Not so Complicated by destinyrebel and it inspired me to rewrite the original one I had. So if you like this you would go read every fic she wrote and say thanks. Oh, definitely leave me feedbacks.
Where the title came from? Well, me. Actually there's a song sang by Majandra call 'Pop Crack' and I just love it. You can download it off of Kazza or something else you use. But if you can't find it go to MAD Siren and click on lyric to download it. So instead of the title being Pop Crack it's Psycho Don't Crack. Yeah whatever......

Part 1

Tuesday 2:52 pm –paid conversation.-


I twist my head around to face the door upon hearing it open by none other than Dr. Evans. I turn back and sink lower into the couch and I roll my eyes. There’s nothing he can do about it. He walks to his desk, which is in front of me and takes a seat. He doesn’t even bother to look at me. How typical. Who wants to look at a crazy patient anyway? He opens up a folder, which in the future will include everything that he can figure out about me.

“How was your day, Liz?”

A simple question, which should be answered with a simple answer. I lean my head back and look up at the ceiling.

“Fine.”

What else am I going to say? Well doctor, I almost tried to kill myself by drinking children’s Motrin. And then I could blink my eyes like it’s nothing. I lower my head to come face to face with his desk. In the center of his desk there’s a nametag; and you know what it says on there? ‘Dr. Evans’ Bet he got that for Christmas. What’s with it anyway? It’s not like people don’t know who he is. Sheesh.

“Anything interesting?”

I already said fine what more could there be? Well doctor, as you see I’m still alive so is children’s Robitussin better or maybe Dimetapp? It’s not like we’re best pals and we should share secrets. Or maybe I should let him in on one.

“Well, today when I was passing the eraser room I heard some moaning, and you know what they were moaning?”

The side of my lips curved up a little.

I moaned, “Max...” and a deeper moan, “Pam….”

Is it embarrassing or what? Moaning to your doc. But hey, I did it for pleasure. I watch him slowly trying to take in what I said. And then this surprise, anger and sudden shock show up on his face.

He blinks his eyes a couple times and asked, “Max Evans?”

I tilt my head a little to the side and looked at the framed picture that’s halfway facing me. It’s mocking me, I tell you. It shows that he has a perfect family and well me and anybody else who sat here before, doesn’t. The picture was probably taken when the kids were 9 years old. When things were perfect. I couldn’t help but nod my head. Nobody said you can’t have fun. Plus my parents are paying for a little chitchat that’s going to make me a better person.

“Are you sure?”

I’m having second thoughts. Should I let this poor man go on like this or should I just tell him the truth and save his son’s ass?

“Perfectly.”

He looks at his watch and then looks back at me. I just lean in close to the comfy couch. I wonder where he bought it. There’s a nice shiny apple right next to his nametag. I bet the witch from Snow White must have visited him. It’s slowly rotting itself inside. Delicious.

“Can I go?”

He thinks about it for a while. I know what he wants to do. He would go home, walk upstairs to his son’s room, lightly knock on the door, walk in, look around, his face starts turning red, and he ask him if he’s sexually active…. Yup, that’s totally what he’s going to do.

“See you next week, I’m sorry I have to cut it short.”

I gave him a sympathetic smile. “No problem. I’m looking forward to next week.” I got off the nice couch and make my way to the door and I’m thinking rehabs are for quitters.
_

5:12 pm –blue sky, green grass and toxic air.-


He lit his cigarettes and hands me my lighter. I started flicking it on and off. Watching the flame. The fire is more magical than Disneyland.

“What did you say?”

I lick my lips and continue flicking the lighter on and off.

“Pam Troy and his son.”

I cocked my head to the side and look at him. A reaction from a smoker.

“Fuck, pulled in the big one on the first day.”

He pull out the cigarettes and blew out the hazard. I can smell it and I don’t like it. I scrunch up my nose.

“He’s probably fuckin’ the blonde.”

I know what he’s thinking. They’re all have the same fuckin’ brain. It works the same way. They all want to fuck blonde bimbos. I mean who wouldn’t?

“I would fuck a blonde bimbo.”

He took his cigarettes out and drops it on the grass and we sit here and watch the flame die out slowly. I glance at the lighter in my hand. It would be so easy to relight it and watch it slowly burn. The fireworks are in your own hand and you can set it anytime you want to. The scene of a magical heaven. And the green magically disappears into the dark dry world. The relief of home. Load of bull.

The greatest day of my life and they have to come and visit us. Oh looky look, there’s Max. We watch them forming a half circle around us at a good distance. I lean back against the tree and turn my head towards Sean. He’s chewing now. He’s always either chewing or smoking. Bad habit. Habits that kill. I turn my head back to our intruders. Looky look, its Tess with a Gap shirt.

Get A Pig.”

Sean catches on and forms his own.

Gay And Pal.”

They started looking at each other to get a clue as to what we’re talking about. Aren’t they supposed to be smart? What happen to perfect boy? He’s just standing off to the side staring down. Come on, Max. Your buddies need you. I look over to Sean and he’s still chewing.

“Nice shirt, Tess.”

I smiled at her. Sean smirked.

“Thanks, Liz.”

They continue to look confuse.

The entertainment sex slut.”

I turn to Sean and gave him a weird look. He’s on a roll. He shrugs at me.

“Hm….”

My mind’s blank. Nothing. I can’t think of anything. They still don’t get it. I think they’re getting frustrated. I think they’re thinking really hard. So hard that it hurts. You know I never knew we were smart. Oh incredible. We made them silent. We should praise ourselves.

Tip easy on the sucker slut, and our IQ has risen.”

He spits out his gum next to the cigarette bud. We could create a line full of cigarette buds and gums. People from all over the world would come and see our creation and we’d be famous. I can see it now. The world’s greatest cig buds and gums by Sean and Liz. I smiled at that.

“We’re gonna be famous one day.”

He nods his head. I look closely at the guy with his head down staring at the concrete ground. It’s been hours. What the hell are they still doing here? I mean don’t they have anything to do? If they’re not gonna say anything then leave use alone. I look closely at Tess and her buddies. I think they’re formulating a plan by eye contact. ‘Cept they can’t get through Mr. Smarty cause he ain’t looking at them. If aliens came now and loaded their little blaster to kill everyone, there would be burnt humans for dinner. They think too slowly. Yup, a nice plate of humans.

“Hurry up, yo.”

Sean tries his New York accent. I wonder if people in New York actually talk like that. Wouldn’t it be hard? You would have to decide whether to use ‘yo’, ‘dude’, ‘fool’, or whatever the hell they use. What if they were talking to a stranger and that person didn’t understand them? Probably take out a gun and shoot them dead. That’s what I would do.

“Uh….”

Sigh.

“Whatever.”

I grab the stick next to me. I look up at the tree and it’s a nice tree. I take my lighter and begin to light the stick like a pro. There’s such a thing as being pro just by flicking the lighter. It just starts burning. The flame dances in front of me. I’m killing the stick. Boo hoo. I hand the stick to Sean. It’s still burning a little. It won’t kill the world or bring joy. He takes it, looks at me and throws it to them. Which lands on the grass in front of Tess.

Tess and Isabel back away from us like there’s a pig covered with mud and it’s about to bounce on them. Like pigs can bounce.

And the flame dies.

I couldn’t help say, “You’re welcome, Max.”

________________


Comments? Questions? Confusion?



[ edited 4 time(s), last at 14-Feb-2003 8:41:26 PM ]
posted on 14-Feb-2003 8:34:32 PM by aZNroSweLl anglgrl
Hi.

First off....Happy roses, chocolate and Jason Day! Oh man, the board been hectic lately. I mean people are leaving. It sad. Anywhoo, I know that Sugarplum17, Dee, and some other people aren't posting here anymore. They're over at talena's board --> Outer Haven. So visit them there.

Ok.. people who have Prozac Nation, incase you didn't know there's going to be a movie coming out on March 14. I read something about it in a magazine and if you want to here me rant about it click here.

Yeah, now it's time to reply back to my wonder feedbackers.

destinyrebel- You read my fic. I was so excited when I got my feedback from you. *happy* I like Sean too. I wish they didn't throw him away after Season 2. I mean what happen to him? Anyway, thanks for the lovely feedbacks , it made my day too.*big*

Ripley Rip Tide- Gays are proud. Damn, that's a good one. Too bad I never thought of that. Thanks for the feedback.

Coley- Wow...didn't know you were going to read my fic. I'm glad that you like it too. *big* Oh and you have awesome hair. *wink*

iandtheunhappy- Happy that you like this one best out of everything I made you read. And I'll try to finish....you know how long it's going to take..... Did you know that someone was stalking me? Thought I was 17. -shrugs-

the better twin- You saw Majandra is NYC? Oh my god....I wanted to go so badly but I live so far away... Did you take pictures? Thanks for the feedback.

LixMix5- You stalked me? Oh my god, I have a stalker. Yeah, young that's me. Thanks for the feedbacks and stalkage.

starlady- You're the best. *happy*

Thanks to I_LOVE_NICK, roswellluver, Roswellian Fanatic, frenchkiss70, BelivingInTheDreamOfRoswell, marteloise, Lana Lane, LizHalliwell, TrustCoFan86, On A High and Jessica_01.

For bumping and feedbacks and if you were stalking me also....*wink*

Oh and I just realize awhile back that I forgot to change the whole flicking the lighter stuff. I was going to change it to switch and then I forgot...so anyway, I'll change it in the future.

Now, everyone, I present you drum rolls.....
Part 2

7:36 pm -the aroma of blank headache-


The music hums softly in the background. I look around the room. Not many people tonight. I can hear rustling on my left side. I look down at him and he looks up at me. A quick look and then he turns back to what he was doing. I got out from behind the counter, sat on the stool and started spinning on it. If only the world can spin, then we could have headaches for the rest of our lives. Then everybody would suffer and we would be even. I close my eyes hard and continue to spin. Round and round I go.

"Liz."

I stop the spinning and looked at him. What the hell does he want now? He just looks at me. Piercing me with his eyes. I need something now. I can't just sit here and let him do that to me. I got off the stool, walk behind the counter again. I search through the drawers. I know he keeps some here, he has too or else it's hell. I push past some papers, pens and there it is. Dente Ice. Peppermint. Better than smoking. I push the little white rectangle out of the foil and pop it in my mouth. I grab a cup that's labeled 'Coke and Arsenic' and hand it to Sean. He knows what to do.

"Fuck Liz, drink then chew."

I rolled my eyes and mouthed 'Whatever.' So back to my stool and future spinning. I wait there like everyone else would. He puts the cup in front of me and turns the music louder. It's no longer humming softly but blaring pain. I looked up at Sean and he's looking towards the front entrance that's behind me. There's no point in looking back cause I already know who it is.

He sat next to me and I can feel him giving Sean a nod. Some acknowledging guy thing, and of course Sean nods his head in understanding. I grab the cup and bring it up to my lips. It's hot but it's not hot enough to burn. Slowly the liquid slides down my throat and that's when he acknowledges me.

"Hey, Liz."

I would fling the cup at him but hell its just Kyle.

"Hi."

He's a good guy under all the crap he believes in. No, not about religion, I have nothing against that. I'm just glad that he at least believes in something. It's stuff he goes through everyday, stuff that he has no problem with, but to me and Sean, it's something.

"Did you guys hear about the game last night?"

Last night, I don't even know where I was. I stare down at the brown liquid in my cup giving off steam. Sean digs through the drawer and grab his needs. Kyle should get to the point now and of course he does.

"We won, baby. 76 to 35. The south sucks."

Maybe they don't suck, maybe they don't give a damn. Maybe they're sick of this shit.

"Congrats." I tell him.

He nods his head. I can feel him starring at me. I look up at Sean and he pulls his cigarette out of his mouth and blows the damn thing in front of Kyle's face as his reply. I don't know why Kyle is here. I don't know why from the beginning. Nobody asked him, nobody invited him, and nobody said anything. Yet he's still here and putting up with us.

The entrance door must have opened because someone shouted, "Kyle, over there." That person must be pointing across the street, because over there is where Kyle should be, not here with us. I look over at Kyle. He feels bad, he pitys us. But he shouldn't. "Come with me to the Crash." He's inviting us. What a friendly thing to do. I should laugh know, I know Sean would but he's smoking. I continue looking at him, just blinking my eyes.

"Come on."

He just doesn't get it. Sean dumped his cigarette in the ashtray. Kyle nods his head, and he takes off to the CrashDown. I grab my cup again, tilt my head and chug it down the whole thing with the steam and all. I can feel the hot sensation sliding down my throat.

"Let's go, we're going to be late." Sean said walking to the back room. I nod my head. I got off the stool and walked to the door at the entrance. I grab the key from my pocket and lock the door. I flip the sign over to 'close'. Turn off all the light and continue off to the back room.

So where's the customers? We don't have any.

9:03 pm -a harsh voice.-


They weren't there earlier, but they had a good reason. They know what would happen if they didn't have a good reason. It would be like suicide. It would just be plain bad. We're here for them, and they're there for us. It's been that way since Sean's place opened. Now we're here in the back waiting for her to go on. The rest of them are backstage with her. They would be watching from the side.

The host of the club got on stage and announced, "Temptress and Sirens, you ladies are in for a treat, and I would like to present you, Maria DeLuca."

I clap softly for her and so does everyone else. She walks on stage and stood in front of the microphone, where a stool is there waiting for her. She sits down and waits for the music to start. And it does, she smiles and her voice flow through the air.

Why do you decide to run these circles bruised around my thighs?
Sleepless nights the bleeding clots, why your eyes encapture my thoughts?
Staring at, smirking at my ways lying down I whisper you can stay.
Why can't everything just go my way?


It's surprising that Alex and Michael supports her. They don't flinch when they hear her sing. All they hear is a voice that comes from an angel. Angel who knows that love isn't love. Love is pain. But most of all Michael is her biggest supporter. They've been together for a while. Nobody keeps count on these things.

Caught in this trap, you sneer as I fall my list of desires, your company is all.
You come as a siren who lures me to betray.
I have come as a temptress, unaware I'd be losing my game.


I've wonder for some time if this stuff is true. If everything she sang has a hidden meaning to it. Maybe asking for help? But when I look at them together, it's not possible. I don't know what Michael does but it works for him.

Why do you conclude that you can look right
through my eyes expecting to read what I'm feeling here.
Claiming beauty left you dear. This cliches what drives my force to you.
It's the element breaking us too. If things were up to me I'd follow through.


He isn't all that affected with her piercing words. It just tells him that if he fucked up big time, there's hell to pay. He just follows through, like other people wouldn't.

Caught in this trap, you sneer as I fall my list of desires, your company is all.
You come as a siren who lures me to betray.
I came as a temptress, unaware I'd be losing my game.


I look over at Sean. I can never guess his reaction to her words. Just blank emotions. He doesn't comment in any way. Just clap for approval. He would close his eyes a lot and just listen.

Why do I react this way? Why is it that I swoon to pay you back with this vendetta out.
I hate you for the pain, the doubt.


You hate pain but what you don't know is that you love it. Once you're hurt you'll go back for more. Hoping that this time it won't.

Never is our day of fucking bliss this beatlejuice comes jaded for my kiss.
Little suicides defend the pain.
The ghost of you that follows me is held to blame.
If I had you, I would not complain


A kiss can take you over. It's the end. You can't go back but you could go forward.

Caught in this trap, you sneer as I fall my list of desires, your company is all.
You come as a siren who lures me to betray.
I came as a temptress, unaware I'd be losing my game.


Temptress and sirens are what we are. Just not everyone can qualify it.

_____________________________


I can feel the heat around me. I'm sitting somewhere on the carpet floor with my back against the heated wall, my legs pulled up to my chest, but I'm not hugging it. Cause in my hands is a cup with some type of liquid in it. I can smell smoke but it's not from a cigarette. The smoke is different, it's harder to breath in. And I'm not worried about breathing.

The heat risen, I'm sweating more than before. My tank top and shorts cling to my skin. It feels welcoming, yet it's weird. I put the cup to my lips, and the liquid slowly slides down my throat. I don't know what it is. I can't taste it. But it's thick and cool.

Somewhere out there I hear sirens. The siren swiftly flows in the smoke. I coughed. The soft screams mixed with everything. I can hear faint wailing and imagine salted tears sliding down their faces. The back of my mind fuzzed up the answer. With my eyes closed the whole time, I know where I am or I have a clue to where I might be.

I think there's fire around me. That's where the heat comes from and the smoke too. The building, house is on fire and I'm in the middle of it. People here are saved except me. I'm still here, in the heat, with a cup. I'm alone like I told myself I would be. Sean isn't coming to save me. Nobody is.

I've prepared my fate form the beginning. I know what happens, no matter what they say, no matter what they want me to believe in, in the end, I'll be alone. I smiled at that. Nobody knows but me. The thoughts of happiness and emotions are just a scam you put yourself through. To just make yourself feel better but in reality it's not.

My hair is wet from my sweat. It's getting closer, I would feel the burning like I said I would. I would not back away. I believe that I can take it, I would feel nothing at all. But that's all a lie. A scam I created for me to feel better, to take the pain away. Everything hurts. I'll feel the pain like everyone else that has experienced it. The smoke is thicker now, it's harder to breathe, and it's almost time.

I lick my dry lips. Nobody cares, nobody will remember. I'll just be gone from their mind. A fragment of their imagination. Just a thing that happened in the past. Nothing to cherish, nothing to cry over, just plain nothing. Somewhere in this madness, I hear banging sounds. Sounds that shouldn't be here. It gets louder and louder. Stop, I wanted to scream out. But my throat is dry. I go for the cup, but it's not there, nothing in my grasp. It's like someone is trying to get through to save me. But is it? Would someone do that?

I did the next best thing. I open my eyes, and the banging is louder and clear. I blink my eyes a couple times. There's no fire but I'm burning. There's no gray smoke, nothing but darkness. My tank top, shorts, everywhere is wet, clinging to me.

More banging sounds pierce into the quiet darkness. And I realize it's coming from my window. It must be Sean.

I look over at my digital clock.

2: 21 am -fiery lips-




[ edited 3 time(s), last at 15-Feb-2003 2:43:46 AM ]
posted on 18-Feb-2003 11:35:29 PM by aZNroSweLl anglgrl
quote:
destinyrebel originally wrote:
Um, anyway, okay, back to the subject... Cool Ass Sean (Yes, that is what I am going to start calling him... It seems fitting enough, doesn’t it?) has his own club.


Sean owns a club? I didn't know that... Here is what I was thinking... Sean owns a coffee shop (his parents are filthy rich) and it's called Coke and Arsenic. And he and Liz was at a club where Maria was performing...yup.

Just wanted to clear things up. *happy*

-Justine