posted on 9-Feb-2003 10:22:30 AM by flohmac
Titel: You Don't Know What It's Like
Category: M/L AU
Author: flohmac
Rated: PG up to at least R
Disclaimer: : I still own nothing if I did - JK would have never been allowed to do what he has done to our show and don't even let me get started on this whole Isabel-crap (sorry Isabel-fans but I never liked her); I’m just someone who has still too much time for writing stories; no infringement intended, I'm not making any money out of this.

Special Thanks to Moonie & Angel for helping me with this!


When I was listening through my Roswell CDs while writing the first few pages of this story I came across this song and I realized that it would describe Max's situation perfectly.


Did you give up?
Did it get easier?
Did all those things you wanted
Come together in the end?
Was I the one?
Was I even here?
Did you ever really notice how I
never really cared?

She smiled and looked at me and said
You don't know what it's like
I feel like nothing at all
You don't know what it's like

Did you forget?
Did you believe in it?
Did all those things I promised
come up empty in the end?
Any regrets?
Any dreams you miss?
Comfort comes with patience

She smiled and looked at me and said
You don't know what it's like
I feel like nothing at all
You don't know what it's like

I feel insignificant
I feel nothing at all

Did you give up?
Did it get easier?
Every little word lingered
slipped and fell

Copyright by Econoline Crush


Part 01

"Liz where is the popcorn? Come on the movie is starting!" Liz Parker heard her best friend Alex Whitman calling from the living room. "I'm coming - coming!" She balanced the bowl with popcorn, a bag of chips and two sodas - struggling to shut out the light in the kitchen with he elbow.
"You know this would be so much easier if you'd help once a while. Some gentleman you are." Flopping down next to him on the couch, she started putting the stuff on the table. Alex finally also made himself useful and took the sodas from her. "Hey…I just wanted to make sure that you didn't miss the start. I know how much you love that movie." He smirked at her and grabbed his soda. "Funny…very funny Whitman." Liz only shook her head trying to keep the pretence of sulking up - it just seemed impossible with Alex. Sometimes Liz wondered how her life would have been different if she hadn't met Alex at New York State. Surely a lot different, after all he had been the only one to really talk to her - she had been a nerd, yet after some of the other's had found out that her father owned one of the most famous magazines of the country they all wanted to be friends with her - yet Liz had never trusted any of them besides Alex. Now they were sharing an apartment, had excellent jobs and were still best friends.

The music on television finally penetrated her mind and Liz concentrated back on the screen.
On the television the movie started. "I mean - honestly Liz - you know that darn movie by heart so why do we have to watch it every single time they air it - you have it recorded in video, you have the video and DVD - I guess I'll never get it." Alex said, munching on some chips getting more comfortable "I mean I love watching Star Wars but that's something totally different …it's cult."

Liz wasn't listening - "The saddest thing" was one of her all time favorite movies - she had seen it at the movies several times. The first time had been on her 11th birthday and her mother had invited her and some friends from school to the cinema.
Liz had been mesmerized, of course for a 11 year old the story wasn't as important as the actors - better ONE actor - she had been in love - well that's what she had thought back then.
Gosh she could also still remember the night of the Oscar's 15 years ago.

15 years ago

"Lizzy - the show is starting…" eleven year old Liz Parker was bouncing down the stairs after hearing her father's words. "Do you think he's gonna win Mommy? Daddy?" "Honey - he's only 14 years old - who knows - there are other very talented actors." But not for her - for her there was only one - and he was Maxwell Evans, 14 years old - and the cutest boy she had every laid her eyes on. He was just so talented and beautiful. Never had Liz ever admitted to think of a boy as beautiful. Yet Maxwell was - he had those brown-golden eyes that could look right into your soul. He was everything a girl in her age considered beautiful - oh and she was going to marry him one day - that was for sure as well - she just had to figure out how she would be able to meet him, but that was just a matter of time - she was sure of it, after all she had everything planned already - the dress, the church, the cake - everything.

"There he is - there he is…look Mommy, Daddy!" Liz squealed when they showed the stars arriving and in between of all those big names there was this little boy smiling at the cameras and waving. The crowd was going wild - shouting his name. "Isn't he cute?" Liz sighed and smiled at the television, ignoring her parents entirely her.

Jeff and Nancy Parker only smirked - at least Liz was only fan of an actor and not some band - this would be over soon anyway, she'd grow up and forget about him.

Two hours later Liz felt like she'd be sick any minute. Next up was the Academy Award for "Best Actor" and Maxwell was nominated. Liz was chewing on her nails impatiently her eyes transfixed on the screen, waiting for the darn commercial break to be over.

"Remember Lizzie after that you have to go to bed." He father reminded her of their agreement. "Yeah yeah…" Liz only mumbled still staring at the tv - the commercial break was over. "Oh oh - hush hush…" Liz gestured.

The winner of last years "Best Actress" award entered the stage and started talking about the actors and their accomplishments, to Liz it felt like she wouldn't shut up and get on with the show at all. "…and the Academy Awards for Best Actor goes to…" - they showed the faces of the actors - for Liz there was only one face she wanted to see. "Oh please, oh please, oh please…" she was chanting over and over again.

"…the Ocsar goes to…" the women nodded "…Maxwell Evans for 'The saddest thing'…Congratulations Max…"

"YES - he won! HE WON! Mommy - he won!" Liz screamed and jumped up and down in front of the television making it impossible for her parents to see a thing. Liz was still clapping her hands happily, when Maxwell entered the stage, receiving his award - smiling. His manager, a bald man was next to him, helping him to reach the microphone…

"HUSH, hush - " Liz suddenly flopped down in front of the television again - she needed to hear every word he'd say - and one day he'd be standing up there and thanking his wife Lizzie - no Elisabeth - argh Liz - anyway…

Liz really remembered it like it had been yesterday - she had squealed and screamed and cried "I knew it, I knew it - he's the best…" after he had left the stage again.

"Ya know - have you every wondered what happened to him? I mean - he was this superstar - after winning the Oscar everybody wanted to have piece of him and he was everywhere and had so many roles offered, I think he was in every late night show Jay Leno and all those - remember? And then he was gone…you used to be a fan of his - what happened?" Alex turned to Liz, who had her hand in the bowl not eating, but contemplating Alex's question. "Yeah I'm asking that myself I have no idea what has happened to him - but you know what? I'm going to find out."

Alex turned towards his friend and watched her "What do you mean? You're going to search for him?" "Come on Alex - wouldn't this be a wonderful story? I mean honestly - you're right his face was everywhere - everybody wanted a piece of him like you just said - but after that incident when he was I think 17 nobody heard off him again - sure the press reported about him but nothing more - he wasn't ever seen again. I think that's strange…"

"So remind me again what happened when he was 17?" "Alex it was all over the news - they found him in a hotel room with an overdoses, mixed with alcohol - you've got to remember?" Alex thought hard "Yeah I think I remember, I remember walking into school and the some girls crying…man that was one hype. I mean honestly if you were him wouldn't you have disappeared afterwards as well?"

Liz took some more chips before she answered "Yeah maybe but - usually they come back - they always come back - and he hasn't - It's been 12 years since then and usually…" "Yeah usually but…I mean Liz do you really think this is such a good idea? Maybe he doesn't want to be found, maybe he's happily married with five children, living in a small town where nobody cares about what he did…"

Taking a sip of his soda Alex watched Liz but he knew he was already too late, the plan was made and Liz was after all one hell of a journalist. "So how are you going to find him?" Alex asked her after Liz had gotten up and was currently starting her laptop. "I don't know - I could try contacting his family - I remember him having a sister…Maria or something like that - he was originally from Chicago - so maybe his parents and friends are still there?"
"Do you honestly think that a boy that moved to Los Angeles at the age of let's say 9 has any friends? I mean I'm sure he has friends now but…" "I know what you mean - you're right I haven't thought about that…anyway…his managers name is Cal Langley he still works in Hollywood…don't worry Alex I'll find him…" "That's what I'm afraid of…" Alex mumbled emptying his soda.

But Liz didn't hear him - she was already searching the internet for everything and anything she could find about one 'Maxwell Evans' and she was actually surprised that there was so much stuff. Of course most of the stuff was written by movie fans etc. and she couldn't trust everything she read but - she'd never ignore the stuff. She was even more surprised when she found a foreign site - it had pictures of Max she had never seen before. Max was with a woman - carrying a baby. "Alex - I need your help…". "What?" Alex got up and walked over to her "I need you language skills - what's that? Is it Swedish?"
Alex took one look at the site and nodded "Yeah it is - what do you wanna know?" "What does it say? Is that his wife? How old is the picture?" "Well it says here that…uhm geez I should really practice again…all in all it says something like '19 year old actor Max Evans was recently seen with a mysterious woman and baby in downtown Seattle…' then they say that no one knows what he's doing now and when he'll be back in the business if ever'…oh wait here her name is Kathleen Topolsky…she's 25 - oh wow - way to score Maxwell." …the last statement earned him a smack from Liz "Outch…what did you do that for?"
"Is it his child?" Liz just stared at him a little annoyed. "They don't say…but what they say is that as soon as he noticed the paparazzo he went ballistic. Anyway…yeah that's what it says - Liz do you honestly think that Tess will like this idea of uncovering something that maybe even doesn't want to be uncovered." "Alex - I'm a journalist it is my job to uncover stuff…" Liz glanced at Alex and pushed him away from her laptop - movie forgotten, concentrating on her work.

Alex only shook his head - he knew Liz and once she had made up her mind about something it was nearly impossible to convince her otherwise. He switched the TV off and moved the snacks and everything into the kitchen. Liz would be sitting at her laptop for the rest of the evening so he wouldn't have to worry about her - he was worrying more about Maxwell Evans - because if Liz really would find him the poor man had no idea what had hit him.

Do you want me to continue? Let me know - thank you in advance for your feedback!

[ edited 7 time(s), last at 16-Feb-2003 7:13:23 AM ]
posted on 10-Feb-2003 4:08:49 AM by flohmac
Thank you so much guys for the feedback! I know you're all having a lot of questions but where would be fun if I answered them right away! *wink*

Tess will make an appearance in the text part! But don't worry she won't be a problem! Trust me on that

The baby - yeah the baby - is it his? Is it NOT? Well I guess you'll have to keep on reading - TEASE huh? *big*

I'm glad that a lot of you are still with me! Thank you so much! *big*
posted on 11-Feb-2003 12:48:35 AM by flohmac
Title: You Don't Know What It's Like
Category: M/L AU
Author: flohmac
Rated: PG up to at least R
Disclaimer: : I still own nothing if I did - JK would have never been allowed to do what he has done to our show and don't even let me get started on this whole Isabel-crap (sorry Isabel-fans but I never liked her); I’m just someone who has still too much time for writing stories; no infringement intended.


Thanks to MooniMausi for helping me once again! Smoooooooooooooooooches!

Part 02

The next morning Liz Parker was sitting in Tess's office. Tess had listened to her idea - and she liked it. "I think the idea is brilliant Liz - really I like it yet I still have to run it by your father - but what about your other stories - I'm pretty sure that it'll take you some time to find this guy - you know how they are - if they don't want to be found - it's pretty difficult." "Don't worry Tess…" Liz got up from her seat and walked over to the big windows - glancing down at the streets - she hated the fact that her father owned this magazine and that she still had to prove herself in so many ways.

"…I'll find him…don't worry…I have already found several addresses of his manager, his parents, his agent, even of this mysterious woman I just told you about…the thing is they're all on the West Coast - I'd need some days to travel there and meet up with them." "If they really want to meet with you…" Tess had gotten up as well and was now standing next to Liz - she watched her "Liz are you really sure that you want to do this? I mean I know that we have the reputation of being ruthless and there's a reason - we don't back down, we uncovered so many stories - I'm just not sure if…" "Tess let me at least try okay? If I don't get any information about him by Christmas I'll let it be BUT if I find him…you'll print it in the February edition okay?"

The women smiled at each other - they had been a perfect team ever since Liz had started working at the 'tHe nEwS' magazine right after she had finished College. Okay so yes it had helped that her father owned this thing yet Liz had gotten the job because she was good - no one could fool Tess Harding.

"Okay - so I take it you'll be heading to Los Angeles first right?" "Right…my flight is leaving in three hours…"
Shaking her head, Tess smirked "You knew I'd say yes didn't you?" "Tess like you said we are what we are because of the way we work - and I know that you trust me when it comes to interesting stories. Maxwell Evans - was THE young actor and suddenly he disappeared, leaving a lot of producers tearing their hair out and a lot of women and young girls heartbroken - and I want to know why."


Three hours later Liz took her seat in the business class of her plane that would take her to Los Angeles - Alex hadn't been really thrilled when she had told him that she'd really fly out to California first before going to Washington State. He had also warned her to take warm clothes "You might be heading up north Lizzie - I don't want you to catch pneumonia or something like that." He was really cute - but definitely not her type.

Although she had been hoping that she'd have the chance to sit alone - her hope was suddenly crushed when a guy appeared next to her seat. He didn't say a word - merely nodded at her, packing his stuff away in the overhead department before sitting down in his seat. He had long, dark hair - at least a week's growth on his chin - yet he smelled like the ocean or something like that. He was clad in a white shirt, flannel and denim - he oozed wilderness.

Before he caught her staring at him she averted her glance and concentrated on her job - while they were taxing down the runway Liz scribbled on her notepad.

After take off it didn't take long until Liz started her computer once more and started to write, typing away she didn't pay that much attention anymore to the hunk next to her. Well okay that was a lie - how could any woman ignore a man like him.

When the stewardess offered them something to drink he wanted water - mhm strange "What would you like to drink?" the stewardess smiled at her. "Uh I'll take a - uhm - I guess I'll also take water…" She glanced at 'him' again - he looked strangely familiar but she couldn't put his face anywhere.
"Excuse me but do I know you from somewhere?" She finally dared asking.

The man cleared his throat and answered her in a deep voice "Uh no I don't think so…" "Oh - okay…" she smiled again "Sorry then for a asking…" "It's not a problem…" he nodded and concentrated back on his files again.
Oh-kay well that was more than obvious, no more talking - Liz thought and started typing herself again.
Yet she couldn't stop sneaking glances at him - he was wearing glasses now, concentrating on whatever he was reading. Yeah he was really cute and hadn't she sworn off men after some bad experiences she's definitely invite him to join the Mile-High-Club like right NOW.

They didn't really exchange any more words - not even when the plane finally landed in Los Angeles. Liz wasn't used to this kind of treatment by a man - usually whenever she had to fly somewhere they'd be hitting on her or at least be a little more talkative but this guy - well he had been the total opposite. Yet she didn't try to dwell on it for too long and instead got her luggage and headed over to the Rental car station.

Finding her way through the Freeways and Highways of Los Angeles Liz arrived at her Hotel some time later and checked in. As soon as she arrived in her room - the first thing she did was to start up her computer and while shrugging out of her blouse and putting on a shirt she tried calling Cal Langley. "This is Cal Langley's - my name is Beatrice how may I help you?" "Hello Beatrice this is Liz Parker - I'm a journalist with the 'tHe nEwS' magazine - I wanted to know if I could talk to Mister Langley?" "Mister Largely isn't in today but if you want to you can leave your name and number and he'll call you back - what's the purpose of your call?"
How rude - but they probably received a lot of calls - Cal Langley was one of the most famous managers in the business and Liz was aware of the fact. "Uhm actually we're planing on doing an article about 'Hollywood's managers' and Mister Langley is one of the best."
Liz was used to lying - you didn't get no where in this business if you stuck to the truth - no she needed to meet him first and then tell him what she really wanted." "Thank you - I'll tell Mister Langley that you called Miss Parker - if you could just give me your number - he'll call you back." "Thank you…" Liz left her number with the secretary and finished the call.

She slipped out of her skirt and put on a pair of jeans - her day was far from over - Liz wanted to check out the addresses she had found.
His parents were divorced - his father was still living here in Los Angeles - while his mother had moved to San Francisco - for what ever reason. It was funny how everybody Max Evans seemed to be close lived on the West Coast - okay that wasn't true she couldn't find the address of Maria - his sister but then - maybe she had gotten married or had left the country or what ever - nevertheless she'd try to talk to his father today, then maybe Cal Langley tomorrow, then fly to San Francisco to talk to his mother and then go to Seattle to find Kathleen.


Phillip Evans was an attorney and his office was located downtown Los Angeles - so after calling and making sure that he was in - Liz found herself waiting in an impressive waiting area of the Evans office.
"Mister Evans - a Miss Liz Parker - is here for you…" the secretary opened the door to the mans office - when he appeared at the door - Liz could remember him clearly from those pictures she had seen as a girl of Max and his parents. "Miss Parker - " he shook her hand and led her towards his desk, waiting until she sat down. " - how can I help you?" "Well actually - I - I'm not here because I need an attorney."

That surprised him a little bit "So why are you here then?" "Well I'm a journalist and my magazine wants to write about your son…" before she had even finished the sentence she could see his features darken, turning stiff and angry. "I have nothing to say to you…" "Mister Evans this won't be about finding something juicy…" "Then why do it? Miss Parker - my son has nothing to do with this business anymore and I want you to drop whatever kind of idea you have…there's a reason that he left everything behind him…" "But don't you see…that's what I want to know…Mister Evans - I used to be a big fan of your son and….he had so much potential and he was so talented and well we're just wondering why he gave it up."

"What makes you think that he wants the world to know? What makes you think that…" Phillip Evans only shook his head. "Miss Parker I want you to forget about this story…I'm not going to help you." "Well just in case if you change your mind here's my card…" Liz fished out her visiting card and held it out to the man who was staring her down. He didn't even move to reach out and take it, so Liz just left it on his desk.
This didn't go exactly like she had wanted it to go but then - what did she expect right?


Back at the hotel she called Alex "So how is it going?" he answered the phone right away "Well not as I had planned." "Why?" "Well I went to see his father today and he refuses to help me…" "That surprises you why? I mean honestly Lizzie I told you that this wouldn't be easy - he's his father - if you want something about Max you'll have to find somebody who's willing to talk…" "Yeah I know …I guess I'll try to find this Sandra - you know the one he was rumored to be his girlfriend?" "I wouldn't know Liz - you're the fan…but it's definitely worth a try. So what did your Daddy say about this?" "Daddy said nothing - Daddy is in London - I only talked to Tess…" "So what's your plan?" Liz sighed and sat down on her bed "I will find this Sandra person and hopefully she'll be talkative and then I'll head out to San Francisco and Seattle." "Liz - why? I mean I know that you're a journalist and all but why Maxwell Evans? I mean, there's a reason he disappeared, what if you're going to hurt him more than anything else?"

Liz thought about Alex's question - she hated it when he did this - he knew that it was her job to ask questions and to dig for anything she could find…and then Alex Whitman would ask her a simple question - waking up her conscience. "I…I guess it's just that I…" "You don't do this to prove yourself to your father - do you Liz? I mean we know that a lot of people have tried finding him and all…you remember that 'Where are they now?' on ET - even they couldn't find him - what makes you think that you'll be luckier?" "I have to try Alex - I - gotta go…" she hung up before he could say anything else - he had hit home too close.

Liz got up and walked over to the windows - being able to overlook the whole town. "Where are you Max Evans?" So she couldn't deny it - she was somehow curious to find out if he was still as charismatic as he had always appeared on television.
She was actually startled when her phone rang "Hello?" "This is Cal Langley - I hear you want to talk to me Miss Parker?" "That's correct Mister Langley - thank you for your call." "No problem - how about we meet tomorrow for breakfast - say 8.30 a.m. at the Regent Beverly Wilshire? Would that be okay with you?" "Yeah that would be perfect…" "Perfect, so see you tomorrow Miss Parker."
So - maybe by tomorrow at noon she'd know more about the elusive Maxwell Evans after all.

TBC? So how was that? Okay? Not okay? Don'tt know? Let me know!

Oh and about updates - those of you who know me - know that I always try to post at least every two days - I'll try to to keep this up here as well - if I won't be able to post though I'll let you know!

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 11-Feb-2003 12:54:01 AM ]
posted on 13-Feb-2003 2:32:16 AM by flohmac
Titel: You Don't Know What It's Like
Category: M/L AU
Author: flohmac
Rated: PG up to at least R
Disclaimer: : I still own nothing if I did - JK would have never been allowed to do what he has done to our show and don't even let me get started on this whole Isabel-crap (sorry Isabel-fans but I never liked her); I’m just someone who has still too much time for writing stories; no infringement intended.


Many of you are wondering if Max is an alien - so no - no aliens! I don't think I'd do him justice as an alien - know what I mean? I wrote one story with aliens and I realized that there are other better authors out there who can describe and write about the aliens better than I ever could.
Now on with the show!

Part 03

The next morning Liz was waiting for Cal Langley to arrive - so he had no idea what she looked like but she knew what he looked like - he had always appeared pretty menacing when ever she had watched a report about a movie premiere of Max's movies - but surprisingly Max had trusted him - well at least it had seemed that way.
Liz was very much aware of the fact that there were only two outcomes of this meeting.
One was that Cal and Max weren't talking anymore and that Cal was willing to tell her all the dirt and information she needed or the other one was that Cal would explode right into her face telling her to get lost. Cal Langley was famous for his outbursts. There was after all a reason why he was so respected in the business.

It was two minutes after 8.30 a.m. when she saw him heading her way. He was wearing dark sunglasses and a dark suit - he was smaller than she had imagined. "Miss Parker I assume?" He greeted her - shaking her hand.
"Mister Langley it's really an honor to meet you…"
"Thank you - now let's get something to eat and you can tell me everything about your article."
Liz took a deep breath hoping that she would be able to stay calm and pull this through - sure she was a good journalist but sometimes even she reached her limits.

They sat down at a table near the windows and after ordering and having their cups filled with coffee Cal took off his glasses glancing at Liz scrutinizing her.
"So Miss Parker - my secretary told me you're doing an article about Hollywood managers for the 'tHe nEwS' magazine - I know that magazine - I actually like it but I do know that you hardly do any articles like you claimed you do - so why don't we cut the chase and get to the real thing - what do you want."

Okay - so Liz had totally underestimated this man - he was good - never taking her eyes off his face she took a sip off her coffee, put the cup down, leaned back and smiled "You're good Mister Langley and you're right - I'm actually hoping you could give me some information on Maxwell Evans. We're planning on doing an article about him - what he does now and why he disappeared and everything."

If he was surprised he didn't show it - instead Cal Langley leaned back in his seat as well - eyeing her even more - he didn't say a word for the next seconds.
"So why Max? Why now? He has been gone for ten years - why now?"
"Because - I used to be a fan of his and I always wanted to know where he is now. 'The saddest Thing' was one of the best movies I have ever seen and after he won the Academy Award he was everywhere and then - he was gone - and I wanna know why."

She watched him before she continued - it was a good thing that he hadn't left yet - he was at least willing to hear what she had to say.
"I like challenges Mister Langley and Maxwell is one - every major newspaper or magazine has tried to write about him - ET couldn't find him - no one - but I won't back down…"
"What if he doesn't want to talk to you and I can already promise you that he won't…" "Do you know where he is?"
"I sure do - but I won't tell you - Miss Parker you have to understand that Maxwell chose to leave - it was his choice and he won't come back. I can tell you this because I still believe in him - he has a unique talent - I have never seen someone like him ever before and I can promise you that I have tried more than once to convince him to come back - but you know what?" …he stopped - waiting for her to say or do something and after Liz had shaken her head he continued "…it nearly cost me our friendship - believe me Miss Parker - I want him back - but he'll never come back and you have to accept that - and I want you to drop this."

Liz contemplated what she just heard - Cal really cared for Max - it was amazing. "You really care for him don't you? Shouldn't managers only be there in a professional way?"
"Yes they're supposed to but Max - like I said he was and is unique once you get to know him you just can't forget about him and ever since I got to know him better I knew that there's more to him besides his natural talent and pretty face."
"So could you at least tell me why he disappeared?"
Cal took another sip of his coffee and shook his head "Miss Parker - you're a journalist and a fan at that - I'm sure you know what happened - after he was found in that hotel room - the media went crazy - what do you think happened?"

Now it was Liz's time to scrutinize him "Well it's obvious that he wanted to get help or well or whatever but disappear completely? Usually celebrities try to get back to business as fast as possible but he…"
"Max was never usual…" Cal interrupted her "- Max was never like the others - believe me. He had his reasons and I'm not going to reveal them. Have you talked to anybody else? His family?"
"Well I talked to his father yesterday and he threw me out of his office - I'll be heading to San Francisco to talk to his mother and I want to talk to Sandra -"
"Sandra? Which Sandra?"
"I believe she was an actress - and they met on the set to 'Roller coaster' - they were a couple - weren't they?"
"Yeah they were but you can just forget about that - she wouldn't know where he is - she only used him - hoping that being together with him would land her the bigger roles - she never realized that she was replaceable."
"Well you know - cute face, nice body, not really talented - there are many like that in Hollywood."
"So how come Max actually dated her?" "I don't know - so just forget about Sandra…"
Liz wasn't sure of he really honestly wanted to save her the trouble of finding this person or if he just wanted to distract her "Well after San Francisco I'll go to Seattle."

That stopped Cal Langley, his glance turned dark "What do you want in Seattle…"
Liz was pretty sure that she had found something - why else would he react like this? "I want to meet with Kathleen of course…"
"How did you find out about Kathleen?"
"Well there was this one article once in a Swedish magazine - they had pictures of Max carrying a baby and her next to him."
"Oh right - I forgot about that incident - and what exactly do you want from Kathleen." "Well I figured I could talk to her - maybe find out if Max has a child with an older woman…you know the works."
Liz was hoping against hope that Cal would either correct her assumption or give her an affirmative answer but instead he did nothing. He emptied his cup and got up "Miss Parker - it was nice meeting you but I guess I won't be able to help you - leave him alone."
"And you honestly believe that after what you have just told me that I will stop this?"

Liz had gotten up as well leaving some bills on the table following Cal into the lobby. "No I don't but I can promise you that you're wasting your time - Max is finally happy now…"
"Just tell me - is he married now? Where does he live?"
"Good bye Miss Parker and when ever you decide to actually do this article about Hollywood managers - call me…" and with that he got into a limousine and drove off. Just great.


Having made up her mind Liz decided to talk to this Sandra - she had found her manager's and agent's number and was now on the way to her home address - apparently Sandra didn't have a job in the moment.

After ringing the doorbell Lit didn't have to wait really long until a tall, blond woman opened the door "Yes?"
"Hi - Sandra McCarthy? My name is Liz Parker and I'm a journalist - I would like to ask you some questions about Max Evans…"
"Oh why?"
"Well…could I come in and tell you everything?"
Sandra nodded and let her in - the two women sat down in the living room
"Can I offer you something to drink?"
"No thanks…so like I said my magazine wants to publish an article about Max - for that we need some information about his past as well."
"Oh well…I don't know how I can help you with that."
"You were his girlfriend weren't you?"
"Yeah but not very long - Maxwell broke it off after four months…"
"What was he like?"
"Well he hardly had any time and when he had time he wanted to stay at home - pretty boring if you ask me…"
Liz wasn't surprised that she was willing to talk so openly.
"Say will my name appear in that article?"
"Sure yeah - " that is IF I'll even talk about his past that much - Liz thought.

"What do you mean by boring? When did you two meet and how old were you?"
"He was - 16 and I was 18…we met at the set - in the beginning it was really sweet you know - he was always the perfect gentleman - but he was so…so…"
"So inexperienced…can you believe it I was his first…I mean here is this boy - with girls and women to chose from left and right and he has no experience at all…"

Liz nodded and pretending to scribble down whatever Sandra told her - it seemed like Cal had been right after all - this was a waste of time. On her notepad she wrote 'Boring' and 'Oh Geez how primitive' …always keeping the interested face up.

Sandra kept on talking and talking - Liz was actually amazed about how Sandra remembered every event, party and premiere they went to but couldn't remember anything personal about him.
"Have you ever met his family?"
"Family? No I don't think so - wait I met his sister Maria."
"Do you know where Max lives today?"
"He always wanted to move to Europe but I doubt that…"
"Well…no he loved his family too much - he couldn't leave them behind like that - especially his sister. Yeah if I think about if you find his sister you might be able to find him…"

THAT was something to keep in mind - Liz scribbled the information down 'Find sister! Maria - they're very close.'
"They are twins right?"
"Yeah - although they really don't look the same I mean apart from the fact that he's male and she female - I think I even have a photograph with her somewhere…wait a minute…"
She kept on babbling about the fact how boring it had sometimes been to listen to him praising his sister…god what had Max ever thought to get together with something like that? How desperate had he been to get some? Liz immediately was actually ashamed of herself to be thinking like that - but gosh this woman was just primitive.

"I got it - see this was taken at the set…" Sandra handed the picture to Liz. It showed four people. A guy - his arm around Maria's waist with spiky hair, next to Maria a smiling Max - he really smiled and Liz was really surprised to see the difference for the first time between his honest smile and the smile he had always given the cameras - why had she never noticed that? His whole face was laughing - his eyes were shining golden - whenever he had appeared in public his smile had been - different although Liz couldn't really put her finger on it.
Next to Max was Sandra - pressed against him smiling into the camera as well. Yet you could clearly see the difference between the honest smiles of Maria, Max and the other guy and Sandra's fake one.

"Who is the other guy? With the spiky hair?"
"Oh that was Maria's boyfriend."
Liz noticed something else - Maria was wearing a High School shirt - scribbling down the name of the school Liz handed the picture back.
"Thank you. Do you know anything else?"
"No - I just - Max - he was a strange guy - you know - he loved acting but he hated everything that came with it - he was so shy and…I don't know - maybe he had even toyed with the idea of committing suicide back then."
"What do you mean?" Liz pressed her further.
"I…it's difficult to explain. You see Max - he hated the spotlight - he loved acting - it was just a matter of time until it got to him…I mean I didn't know him before he won the Academy Award but if you think about the fact that a lot of grown ups hardly can handle it - think about what it does to a young boy…now I of course I'd be ecstatic… but Max…you wanna know where he put his award?" Nodding - Liz waited for an answer… "…it was in a shoe box - in the last corner of his pantry - he said - like this he doesn't have to see it - while a lot of people consider the Academy Award an honor he considered it a curse…now what does that say about him?"

That was actually the question, which bothered Liz the most after she leaving Sandra. What kind of person was Max Evans? Was he even what everybody thought about him or…was he an enigma? So many questions she needed answers for and - by god she'd get them.

TBC? Please let me know what you think! That's very important to me!
posted on 16-Feb-2003 7:12:08 AM by flohmac
Title: You Don't Know What It's Like
Category: M/L AU
Author: flohmac
Rated: PG up to at least R
Disclaimer: : I still own nothing if I did - JK would have never been allowed to do what he has done to our show and don't even let me get started on this whole Isabel-crap (sorry Isabel-fans but I never liked her); I’m just someone who has still too much time for writing stories; no infringement intended.


Thank you for your feedback guys - it means a lot to me! I don't know yet if I'll post again before the move of the board.

Part 04

The next morning Liz took the first flight out to San Francisco - somebody had probably already warned Diane Evans that she was on her way - so Liz took her time again - checking into a hotel and starting to write.
After lunch she headed to Fisherman's Wharf where Diane Evans was supposed to own a Café. It was the perfect place to sit down, enjoy a coffee and maybe get a glance at the woman and forming a plan of how to approach her. Mother's were even more difficult to handle than father's usually and Phillip Evans had made clear that he wouldn't help her. He had been very protective of his son - now she was actually curious to find out how protective Diane would be.

Arriving at the Café Liz sat down at a table in the back where she could watch everything going on. There were a lot of young waiters and waitresses - probably students who were working here.
After ordering a café latté Liz asked the waiter "Excuse me but - would you mind telling me who owns this place?"
"Diane Evans Miss - why is something wrong?"
"Oh no - no everything is fine - thank you I was just - uhm wondering."
"Okay - I'll now go and get your latté…"
"That would be perfect thank you."

She watched the guy walking over to the bar, the next moment she saw an older woman in her late fifties maybe walking up to him. They talked and then she saw him looking at her - darn that didn't go as planned. Mrs. Evans nodded, took her latté, refilled it into a cup to go and came over "I assume you're Miss Parker - right?"
Liz had only nodded before Diane sat the cup down "I want you to leave my Cafe - I have already been warned that you'd show up and you'll not get anything out of me." "Mrs. Evans please let me explain…"
"I don't need your explanation I want you to leave now…"

Mrs Evans turned around and left Liz sitting there - okay that had been foreseeable but Liz wasn't known for backing down she'd have to find another way to talk to Diane Evans.
So Liz took her latté and went home to her hotel room - there she worked on her article and started searching the Internet once again.
She also went onto one of those pages that would find your former High School friends and searched for Maria Evans. And after some time and paying a little bit she actually found something.
"Here we go - that looks good. 'Maria Evans - now Maria Guerin - interesting - living now in Othello, Washington - where the hell is that?" she scribbled everything down on her notepad again before searching for Maria Guerin and actually finding a Michael and Maria Guerin. Okay so she also knew probably about the fact that there was a journalist on the loose but oh well.

She also tried calling her father but like always she couldn't reach him. So instead she called Tess "Liz? How are you doing? Where are you?"
"I'm in San Francisco - didn't you get my mail?"
"Yeah I did - so you met Cal huh? How was he?"
"Not as menacing as I thought he would be - he actually seemed to me like he regretted it a little bit that he couldn't help me…sounds stupid I know but…"
"So have you found Max?"
"No not yet but I'm hoping that I'll be able to talk to his mother eventually - she just threw me out of her Café but you know me Tess - I'm not giving up that easily."
"I know - but be careful Liz I don't want to have to bail you out of prison."
"Oh come on - you know me…have a little faith in me."
"I do…"
"Have you talked to my father recently?"
"No he hasn't called…"
"Oh okay…well I think I better get back to work okay?"

After hanging up Liz concentrated back on the last pictures again. The pictures of him, the baby and Kathleen. He seemed at easy, carrying the baby in its infant car seat - wearing loose fitting jeans, an olive green T-shirt, cap, sneakers, sunglasses. Then Liz concentrated on the woman again - she had blond hair, which went over her shoulders, she was carrying a diaper bag and a shopping bag. She was wearing jeans as well and a dark blue top. She didn't look that much older than Max but that didn't say anything. One thing was for sure - if Liz ever had a child of her own she could just hope that she would have a figure like that as well afterwards.

"So who are you Kathleen Topolsky? Assuming that you're not married or if you're maybe your name would be Evans…" Liz mumbled - but deep down inside she was hoping that Kathleen's name was anything but Evans.
"How childish is that…" Liz shook her head and typed in the name of Kathleen Evans for Seattle. There were a few names actually but none of the woman was in the right age.
"That's good I guess…now let's try Topolsky…" it took the computer only some second until he came up with the answers - well there weren't many Topolsky's in Seattle and one was actually Kathleen Topolsky - and the age was right as well.

Liz logged into her account of the site that would enable her to get more information about the woman.
"Okay so who are you? Oh you're a High School Teacher, nice - that's good to know, you're not married, but you're divorced - interesting - who pray tell was your husband?" Liz entered another search unfortunately the computer couldn't find anything. "Okay - well then - I guess I'll have to ask you…"

She decided to take a shower and plan her next steps - she had to talk to Diane Evans - that was for sure. When she just got out of the shower Liz heard her phone ring. On the display there was a number she didn't know "Hello? Liz Parker…"
"Miss Parker I asked you to drop this…"
"Who is this?"
"This is Phillip Evans - I just received a call from Diane telling me that you paid her a visit today."
"Mister Evans - this is my job…"
"What? Stalking people? Getting on their nerves? You should rethink your career plans then…"
"Mister Ev…" but before she could even finish her sentence Phillip Evans interrupted her "…I want you to leave my family alone - if you don't I'll ask the police for help - believe me Miss Parker - you will regret this." *Click*

"Wonderful - just hang up on my why don't you?" she mumbled throwing the phone onto her bed. Yeah okay so she knew that this would happen - no family member liked talking about another one if the media was involved unless you found that certain person who needed publicity or something else. Liz wasn't a fool she knew that every family had a black sheep somewhere and she just had either to find that one and get him or her talking or she had to depend on her luck. No matter what - she was just at the beginning of this so - she wouldn't give up that easily - never did, never will.


"Phillip what am I supposed to do if she comes back?" Diane Evans asked her ex-husband, hearing him sigh she sat down on the couch in her living room.
"I don't know - I mean - I told her that we would call the police to get her to stop this but knowing she's a journalist and a good one at that I doubt that she'll give up that easily. Have you reached Max?"
"No - I thought he was still in New York?"
"No as much as I know he's in Seattle for the moment."
Diane nodded - although no one saw her doing so "So shall I call Kathleen? I mean, I'm sure that Miss Parker will go there next - didn't Cal say something like that?" "Yeah he did - you know - I don't get why now - finally after all those years Max starts opening up again - coming out of his shell and all and WHAM there they are - the media - those vultures - it'll start all over again."
Both were silent for a moment before Diane answered "No - Max is stronger now - I don't think that it'll be the same again…and I really, really hope that we'll find a way to stop this woman…what do you mean that Miss Parker is a good journalist?"

Diane could hear paper being shuffled around "Well - she's the daughter of Jeffrey Parker, he owns 'tHe nEwS' magazine - I had somebody check on her. She has published a lot of well-worked out articles - this magazine is supposedly famous for uncovering wrong doings - if you want to put it that way. They hardly have something on celebrities - and that's why I'm also wondering why she decided to do something on Max. Anyway - she's an established journalist at the magazine although she's young and from my sources I know that she isn't that good because of her father's position, she does it all on her own."

"Hmmm - do you think that if I talked to her again - from woman to woman that I could convince her to stop this?" "I don't think that this would be a good idea Diane…"

But Diane had already made up her mind - she would talk to this Liz Parker and hopefully could get her drop this - maybe they just needed a different approach.
"Why don't you give me her number - she left your card with you right?"
"Phillip - I don't want to argue with you about that - please?"


Liz had just finished her call to Alex when her cell phone rang again. "Hello?"
"Miss Parker? This is Diane Evans…"
"If you're calling to tell me to drop this then…"
"…no I know that my ex-husband called you and tried the let's say powerful approach of getting you to stop this…is there any chance we could meet and talk?"
"Because I want to understand where this sudden interest in my son is coming from - consider it a deal - you want something from me - so I want something from you." "But you're not going to tell me anything about where Max is right?"
"No - I won't that's true but - Miss Parker - you have to understand that Max is my son and he has been through a lot - and all I want is to protect him - please try to understand that standpoint of a concerned mother - I'd really like to talk to you…"

At least she was honest and maybe Liz could get her to reveal something, she had to take that chance.
"Okay so where do you want to meet?"
"How about you come by my Cafe tomorrow again…I'm also sorry for my behavior today - my husband had warned me and…well…let's say that I have made some real bad experiences with the media."
"I understand…Miss Evans - I'm not trying to hurt your son - I promise…"
"We'll talk about tomorrow - come by when ever you want I'll be there all day."
"Alright then - thank you for your call Mrs. Evans…see you tomorrow."
"Okay see ya."


"Max? This is your father, I don't know if your mother has reached you already or not because I have also tried some times - hoping I wouldn't need to be talking to your answering machine - anyway I just wanted to warn you that there's a journalist searching for you - her name is Liz Parker - call me please…bye."
Max sighed and hung up the phone - just what he needed another stupid journalist.
"Max? Is everything alright?" Kathleen appeared at the door to the living room.
"Yeah well - I guess I better head back home - sorry to cut this visit short."
"But you just came here from Los Angeles…"
"Well - there's a journalist after me once again and I'm pretty sure that - if she's good she'll show up here sooner or later and when that happens I want to be out of here."

They glanced at each other before Kathleen nodded, walked over to him, hugging him "We'll miss you…"
"I'll miss you two too. Tell Ethan I'm sorry I couldn't stay to say goodbye to him - I'll call tomorrow…"

Kathleen knew better than trying to stop Max from leaving - so like always she just let him go. Watching him getting into his car and driving off into the night.

TBC?! Yes? No? Let me know!