|posted on 27-Dec-2001 12:32:14 PM by babygurl|
|TITLE: San Andreas Fault|
CATAGORY: M/L - S/L - Z/L
SUMMARY: What happens when Liz get's pregnant?
AUTHORS NOTE: I got this idea from Natalie Merchant's cd - Tigerlily. So I'll be using her songs often. I'm making this up as I go, so I would really love to hear feedback and some ideas! A beta would be nice too!
Turning over in the bed, I looked at the clock. 3:12 a.m. Oh, dear Lord, what have I done? I glanced back over at the mistake that will never happen again. I scoot farther to the end of the bed, pulling the covers farther up my nude body.
Tears drip down my face as I stand up on unstable legs. The pain between my legs is unbearable. He was gentle, but that doesn't lessen the pain. I didn't want to loose my virginity this way. Not like this. Not in the act of revenge.
I dress, and move towards the door. My body and mind are telling me that I should stay. That leaving is wrong. But my heart says that I need to leave. That this choice I can't take back. That this is uncorrectable. There's nothing I can do!
I feel so alone. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I'm so scared.
I tremble as I glance back one more time. To the man that I'll never really know. To the life that I'm leaving behind. To a love that will never get to breathe.
"Good-bye." I whisper to my only lover. "Live a better life then what I can give you Sean." I continue after I closed the door to the Deluca residence.
I exhale softly and my breath is caught in the cool night air. I watch as it swirls and diminishes. It's funny how the air I breathe is like my life. One moment it's there, the next it's gone.
And with that I turn my head and walk on shaken legs and return to a hell that I have grown up in. An abyss that I seem to be stuck in, and I don't know how to get out. Out. Something I need so badly, but I cannot accomplish.
Maybe later. I'll try tomorrow. Tomorrow.
-So, what do you think? I know it's different! And I didn't put in any songs, but believe me I will. And the next part will be longer, believe me! If you guys leave feedback today I'll have the next part out later today! Hope you like it, and don't be afraid to leave negative comments, critisim is always a plus! I need a beta, or someone to give me ideas! Thanx-
[ edited 5 time(s), last at 28-Feb-2002 5:43:50 PM ]
|posted on 27-Dec-2001 5:10:19 PM by babygurl|
|P.S- I fiddled a little with the ages of the people. Instead of them being 17 at departure, they're 19. Kay? Kay!|
3 months later
I'm pregnant. Funny how my life can turn upside down with just two words. I found out last month. I had fainted and woke up in the hospital with the doctor at my side. He said he ran tests, and that I was 2 months pregnant. I already know who the father is.
I havn't told him yet. And that's why I'm here. Standing in front of the Deluca residence, waiting for someone to open the door. Maria and Michael already know. As for everyone else... well, they left with Tess. They're on Antar, and I didn't even get so much as a good bye, from any of them.
"Liz?" Sean asks me as he opens the door. He's confused, I can tell. Confused as to why I've been avoiding him, and why I'm here.
"Can I come in?" I ask him. I'm wearing sweat pants, and a baggy shirt. I hide the life that's growing inside of me. He opens the door a little more, and I slip through, and go to his room. He follows, and when I sit on his bed I'm bombarded with memories of what had taken place just a few months ago.
When Sean sits next to me, I hug him close. I need comfort, I need security, I need to feel. He holds me just as tight, but this feels wrong. I know it's wrong. I came here for a reason, not to jump into a relationship with the father of my child. I pull away.
I look into his crystal blue eyes and smile a sad smile. He asks me if everythings alright. I tell him no. Concern etches itself into his eyes. Maria told me that Sean would be thrilled about the baby, you know what I told her? Nothing. I told her nothing.
"When I came to you that night, I made a mistake. IT was a mistake. I should never have put you in that position, and I'm sorry. I just came to say... to say that I'm... I'm leaving. I can't be in Roswell anymore. It's killing me slowly and I need to be able to live my life. I'm not sure where I'm gonna go, but I guess I'll find out when I get there. I just wanted to say good-bye. You desearve that at least. And I'm sorry that I can't give you the life that you want me to give you. I just need to leave. Okay?"
I'm a coward. I can't even tell him what he needs to know. How selfish am I? I am leaving, though. At least I told him part of the truth.
I get up and leave without looking back. He's crying. I know he is. I get into my white Jeep and leave Roswell.
Somehow I end up in New York. I'm not sure how exactly. All I know is that I just kept driving. There's a little place that I'm turning into a club. I'm going to name it 'San Andreas Fault'. I'm also going to sing here. Didn't know I could sing did you? Well, I can, and I'm actually pretty good.
Don't worry, I'm still pregnant. Just now, I'm 7 months along instead of 3. It's going to take a year until I open up. I live just down the block. My baby will be almost a year old when I open up. It's amazing, isn't it? By the way, I'm HUGE! I just stay at home, or I stay at the club, and help out with the fixing. I write songs also. I have a lullaby for my baby written already. It's called 'San Andreas Fault'. I know it's also the name of my club, but get over it.
Sorry, if I come off a little rude, it's the hormones talking. I've made a few friends over here. Serina and Kalli. They're a little concerned because I'm pregnant at the age of 19. Well, I'm 20 now.
Sean knows now. I mean how could he not? He died 2 months ago. So, I guess he knows, if he's enjoying his afterlife huh? He was in a car crash. And yes it was a drunk driver. The drunk driver was him. My parents were in the other car. They died also. I went to their funerals, and I guess I have to get on with my life. I mean I can't dwell on what happened. If I do, then guilt will consume me and I can't do that to my child. I won't.
Ouch. Oh, no. No. This cannot be happening now! Not now! OUCH! Oh, cramps. I grab my cell phone and dial 911.
"911 What's your emergancy?" the dispatcher asked me.
"I'm going...Ahhh... into labor 2 months early. OOOH!" I breathed out.
"Okay, an ambulance is on the way. Miss, do your breathing exorcises."
"I DON'T KNOW HOW!"I screamed.
"It's easy, sweety. Just take deep breaths, and exhale in puffs. Like this. HE, HE, HE. Okay?"
"Uh-huh." And with that I hung up the phone. And turned to the paramedics that rushed into my appartment. Luckily on the first floor.
They ask me who my doctor is.
"Dr. Mille." I answer. They tell me that she's in California on vacation. They tell me that a doctor will be sent to me immediatly. And with that I'm rushed into a delivering room.
My vision is blurred by tears. Why did this happen to me? Why do I have to be pregnant? Why am I delivering prematurly? Someone answer my questions! Well, it could help if I speak out loud.
My doctor enters with a dark head, and a tall frame. He has a beautiful body, that is chiseled. He walks up to me and I dry my eyes. His eyes are trained on my chart.
"Ms. Parker, It seems as though you are giving birth 2 months prematurely." he says. I'm not surprised by who my doctor is. Actually, I'm glade it's him.
"NO SHIT ZAN! JUST GIVE ME DRUGS ALREADY!" I scream at him as another contraction hits me. His head pops up at my statement.
He looks at the orderly's and nurses that stopped moving and tells them to leave. They do, quickly.
"How do you know my name? Who are you?" He asks me.
"Listen buddy, I dated your fucking dupe. Okay? He told me everything. You're supposed to be dead by the way. I got knocked up by some shit-head, and I'm not in the mood to play FBI right now. So, you get this kid out of me, and I'll be all yours. And I have a request. Could you please use a bit of your powers to lessen the pain, cause this is killing me here!" I say in a hushed tone.
He nods and has me sit up so it looks like he's giving me pain killers, and touches my lower back, reducing my pain by 60%. I still feel pain, but not at all as much as I had just did.
"Thank you." I say before I fall back onto the sterilized hospital bed.
-End Part 1-
Kewl huh? By the way... I'm sorry if you guys hate me now. But, trust me when I say it's all gonna work out. Leave me your thoughts!
|posted on 28-Dec-2001 11:37:21 AM by babygurl|
"Please promise me that nothing will happen to my baby. You know, if there's something just a little strange about the birth-giving. And before you ask, I was brought back to life. You know what that means. OH SHIT!" I scream as another contraction hits me.
Zan calls in the nurses and begins sticks his head underneath the blanket that's draped over my legs. You know, that's a little embarassing. "She's dialated to 12, it's time to start pushing!" He shouts out to the people hussling and bussling around.
A nurse comes up to me and holds my hand. She coaches me, telling me that I'm doing good. I'm pushing and it feels like I'm about to expload if I push one more time. Who knew it would hurt like this! The nurse is telling not to think of the pain. She's asking me if I know what sex the baby is.
"NO!" I grunt out. She's asks me if I have any names picked out. Again I answer, no. She looks at me weird, and asks me what I DID do. "I have a nursery and I wrote her a lullaby." I say while I take a break.
"The head is out! Now, we only need one more push. C'mon Liz, you can do this." Zan says to me. And I push one more time.
"Oh, so you write songs. Do you sing too?" The annoying nurse asks me another question.
"YES I DO, NOW IF YOU WOULD PLEASE LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" I scream at her. She's a little taken back, and walks away from me, mumbling something about pregnant women. I look down to see Zan smirking.
"You have a beautiful baby girl!" He says as he lifts her up so I can see her. I hold my arms out so I can hold my daughter. She has dark strawberry hair, and the sweetest voice. Sure she's crying, but that doesn't mean that I can't say her voice is the prettiest I've ever seen.
I'm crying as they take my daughter away to clean her up. I look to Zan, and wave him over. He comes and looks at me quizzily. "She'll be alright, won't she?" I ask him, a sense of panic is in my voice.
"Yes, she will. You see, because of what had happened to you earlier, 7 months is the term that you will carry children. And don't worry, I'll watch over her and make sure that the tests go well. No blood will be drawn, I promise." his voice calms my nerves, and I look to him one more time.
"Will you bring her back to me as soon as possible?" I question him. He simply nods.
I'm holding my daughter and lulling her to sleep.
paradise is there
you'll have all that you can eat
of milk & honey over there
you'll be the brightest star
the world has ever seen
sun-baked slender heroine
of film & magazine
paradise is there
you'll have all that you can eat
of milk & honey over there
you'll be the brightest light
the world has ever seen
the dizzy height of a jet-set life
you could never dream
your pale blue eyes
lips so sweet
skin so fair
your future bright
it's rags to riches
San Andreas Fault
moved it's fingers
through the ground
such an awful sound
San Andreas Fault
moved it's fingers
through the ground
terra cotta shattered
and the walls came
o promised land
o wicked ground
build a dream
tear it down
o promised land
what a wicked ground
build a dream
watch it all fall down
She's fast asleep and I hear a soft clapping in the corner. I turn to see Zan with a smile on his face. "You're good. Was that her lullaby?" he asks me as he walks over to my bed.
"Yes, it is. And thank you. Keep your voice down, I just got her to sleep." I tell him, and he nods, saying he's sorry.
"Have you picked out a name yet?" his words come to me softly.
"Not yet. I was hoping you could help me." I say looking him straight in the eyes.
"Okay. I'll do that then. What about Jessica?"
"No, I want an unusual name. Something you don't hear everyday." he nods at my request. You know he seems to nod a lot.
"What about Cira?" I like it.
"I like that. It's beautiful. Cira Dae Parker." I test the name out. And it works. "That's her name."
"Liz? Why did you leave Max? And who's the father of Cira?" His question is resonable I guess.
"Well, Max and I were having a tough spot. I was trying to find out who killed my best friend, Alex and he didn't like the fact that I believed it had to do with his heritage. He slept with Tess, and got her pregnant. He told me the night that they were leaving, because the baby couldn't survive in Earth's atomosphere. So, I went to Sean Deluca, and slept with him. I wanted to know why Max did it. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. It was a mistake, and I ended up pregnant. It's not what I wanted, believe me. That same night, I learned that Max, Isabel and Tess were already gone. Michael stayed with Maria. I also learned that Tess killed Alex. Now, they're up there somewhere, and I couldn't care less." I spoke softly as to not wake Cira.
"Then why isn't Sean here with you?" he asked me.
"Well, number one Sean didn't know that I was pregnant. And number two, he got into a car crash." I explained.
"Drunk driver?" Geez, what's with the 3rd degree here?
"Yeah, him. He was killed instantly, and the couple in the other car. Who just happened to be my parents." He sat back, obviously taking in all the information. "So, now you know my life story. I've lived a soap oprea and I'm only 20 years old." I continue to say, laughing.
"Yeah, well at least you don't have a sister that tried to kill you!" He says laughing. "I've got my own soap oprea and I'm only 24!"
"Did you graduate Med-School early or something?" I ask him. He nods. AGAIN!
"Yeah, but I think I'm going to go back to school so I can get my degree in pediatrics. I'd rather be a pediatrition." he replies.
"Well, at least Cira will have a good doctor." I speak softly, looking at him. "Will, you stay with me tonight?" I ask and he looks at me and Cira and nods, saying that he'd love to. He picks up Cira and puts her in a hospital crib, filling out her name card. He pulls the crib by my bed, and sits down next to me, stroking my hair as I fall asleep.
-End Part 2-
So, what'd ya think? I hope you like it! Leave feedback!
|posted on 31-Dec-2001 12:49:36 PM by babygurl|
|Cira Dae is pronounced Cer-uh Day!|
I woke up to the sound of my child crying. I am still very weak from delivering her only a few hours ago so I nudge Zan awake.
His head slowly rises and I ask him to bring Cira over to me. He does so, and tells me that she's hungry.
"Are you going to breast feed, or bottle feed her?" I look up at his question silently saying 'what's the difference?'
"What's better for her?" I say instead this way I won't look so stupid.
"Breast feeding her." I nod and ask him how to do it.
"Just make sure her mouth is covering the nipple and her jaw will start moving, she'll make a sucking noise and you know that she's got it down." he explains. And don't look at me like that, this is my first child! I've never breast fed anybody! Just turn around okay.
I hum her lullaby while she's eating. Every now and then I'll yelp. You're wondering why. Well, she bites. Sure she has no teeth, but she does bite, and she does pull, and it DOES HURT!
She falls asleep and I give her back to Zan, who puts her back in her crib. I smile and I want to stay up so I can talk with Zan, but when I open my mouth I fall back into that blissful slumber.
It's late afternoon when I wake up again and I instantly call Serina.
"OMG! Why didn't you call me last night? Okay, whatever! So, tell me all the details. Name, weight, height, sex, etc." she screams into the phone.
"It's a girl. Her name is Cira Dae Parker. She's 19 inches long. She's 6 pounds 2 ounces. And her birthday is June 12th. She's got strawberry brown hair, and pale blue eyes. She's as cute as a button. Stop by today, okay? I need you to pick me up." I tell her.
"Gotcha. I'll be there in about an hour. By the way the club is coming along a lot quicker then expected. It should be open in a little less then a year. Kewlie huh? Well, I've gotta go. See ya babe." and with that she hangs up. So much for good-bye huh?
Zan left a few hours ago. He's delivering another baby. I don't know why, but I'm kinda jealous. Well, yeah I do know why, it's 'cuz he's giving some other woman his attention, not to mention where he's looking. Eww.
I'm able to stand up now. They tell me not to, but screw them. When I look at Cira, it's hard to believe that this whole time I didn't even want her in my life.
You know it's times like these that makes me wonder where the hell my life went. I don't even speak to Maria and Michael anymore. Last time I heard from them they were married. I wasn't even invited. Real friends they were huh?
Why did Max have to sleep with Tess? Why did Alex die? Why did I sleep with Sean? Why did Max have to leave? Why did Sean die? Why did my parents die? Why didn't I tell Sean that he was going to be a father, instead of cowering away like I did? There's so many questions and not enough answers.
When all of my questions consume me, there's one question that even now I can't explain. I've tried so many times to live up to that one question, but everytime I did I looked to my rounded stomach and stopped. I could never do that to her. Never. That's one question that I won't answer.
~Why do I have to live?~
Feed back is a +. Um, sorry for the late post. It might take me a while to post, especially on weekends. School's coming closer and I start on the 3rd. Thanx!
|posted on 28-Feb-2002 5:42:13 PM by babygurl|
|Hey guyz... I'm back!|
Home sweet home. It's great isn't it? You're right... it sucks. You wanna know why it sucks? Because I have no one to share it with. No one to come home to. No one to kiss my worries away. No one to share my fears with. But most of all, no one to love.
I'm now starting to regret ever leaving Sean. I mean yeah he was kind of not right for me, but I could have those things. I could have the very things that I'm missing now. I could still have my parents in my life. Because I mean, c'mon face the facts... I killed them. I killed Alex, I killed my parents, and I killed Sean. I changed the future -Alex. I left Roswell a coward -my Parents & Sean.
Serina had picked me up after drooling over Cira, she also left too. I left a message at the front desk for Zan. Told him to call me, my number is 555-3691. I'm sure he'll get a good laugh out of that one. No that's not my number. I don't have the little phoney 555 numbers, unlike some people. But, I did mean for him to call me, and he does have my number... it's on my chart.
I lay Cira down and plop in front of the t.v, and eat my double fudge chocolate brownie chunk ice cream like there's no tomorrow.
1 month later
It's a month later and Zan hasn't called me. It's not like I've been waiting by the phone eating ice cream all month. Well, most of the time anyway.
I decided that I'm goning to go over to the hospital and visit him. Seeing as it's Cira's 1 month birthday and all. I dressed her in the cutest little outfit too. It's a red velvet dress that poofs out a little, with bloomers underneath, it's got short sleeves and has a white lace trim. A matching hairband with a bow completes the outfit.
Me? Well, I've lost a good amount of weight and am about 127 lbs. Almost back to my 115 stature. Oh! You mean my outfit. Okay then, don't I feel stupid.
I'm wearing a pair of lowriding hip huggers that drag on the floor behind my heels. A purple v-neck halter top that reaches just barley reaches the diamond stud in my navel. My 4 inch heels complete the outfit.
I look down at my very tight halter and blink a few times. It's funny how my bra cup went from a B to a full D. It's gone down a bit... I'm now about a low D. This kid eats like a monster, a monster I tell you!
I walk up to the front desk and ask for Zan. The ditzy blonde looks at me with a blank face. I correct myself by using his "work" name. "Dr. Monroe."
She pages him to the front desk and he does so. He looks at us, and takes a double take as if he wasn't quite sure who we were. Oh, boy... I knew I shouldn't have come here.
To continue or not to continue that is the question...