Title: Strength
Rating: PG-13
Genre: M/L, Mid-CYN, Missing Scene kinda thing
Author's Note: I've posted this before, but its one of my favorites, and I decided to plop it up here while I was working on finishing up my fic in progress, "What I'm Not" (no, thats not a plug, not at all)

Alex is dead and its my fault.

“No we had a great wedding....You called Alex, Maria, Isabel, Michael....”

Why did what I did with Future Max affect Alex. Kill Alex? How could it have. I just don’t get it. I want answers. I’m going to solve this mystery, clear Alex’s name. Alex Whitman wouldn’t commit suicide.

I’m going to get my answers if it kills me.

But right now I can barely move. It hurts too much.

“You called Alex, Maria, Isabel, Michael”

They left me alone in the morgue. Max moved to comfort me, but I told him to go after Isabel. I was strong.

Oh God, Alex is dead. NO! Oh god, oh god.

I’m crying now, rocking back and forth on my bed. There’s no one to hold me, no one to comfort me. I want Max with me, I need him. But I can’t let him see me like this. I’m so close to breaking. Its too much. I already had the weight of TWO world on my shoulders, I don’t know how I’m going to do this.

Oh God. No, not now Max. My silent pleas go unanswered, I’m in his arms in a second, and crying even harder than before. I thought I didn’t want Max to see me like this, but now he’s the only thing holding me together. He’s kissing the top of my head, whispering in my ear.

“Liz, Liz...baby, I am so sorry.” He brushes my hair back. His hands are trembling. “We’ll get through this. Together. I’ll be here for you.” He holds me tighter. We sit like that for I don’t know how long, until my sobs have stopped.

I pull back slowly. He strokes my face, wiping away my tears and I see his eyes are as red as mine. I realize then that I can’t fight anymore. I’ve lost the strength to keep my vow to Future Max.

He leans in, and rests his forehead on mine, closing his eyes briefly. His amber eyes burn into mine, full of warmth and longing.

He moves in fast, as if he's afraid I’ll disappear and kisses me lightly, scared. I don’t pull away. I hear him pull in a shaky breath as I wait, eyes closed.

He kisses me again, neither lightly or scared. I respond, quickly deepening the kiss. I place my hands over his, on my face. He’s trembling. We both lean back on my bed at the same time.

I feel his love for me, coming clear through the connection. I feel his urge to protect me, to be with me. These months have not been easy on him, without me.

I send back the same feelings, I love him.

His hands move to my hips, still so tentative. I smile in the kiss, thinking that he must not have been so innocent the night of the Gomez concert.

Th....the Gomez concert. Its like having a bucket of cold water thrown on you. Christ, what the hell have a done? I push his shoulders, indicating that he should get off of me. He looks broken, hurt.

“Liz-” His voice is devastated as he looks at me.

“I’m sorry Max.” I put on the face I use to show Max that I don’t want to be with him, and trust me, I’ve become a good liar. His eyes fill with tears, and he reaches for me. I hate to see Max cry. I have to look away.

He grabs my chin and whispers, “You don’t have to be so strong Liz.” I move off the bed that is still hot from our bodies. I point to the window, unable to say anything. He leaves, trying to hide his tears from me. Just as he reaches the window he spins around and the tears are gone, replaced with anger.

“Remember Liz, that the connection works both ways.” He looks at me for a full minute, while it takes everything in me not to show any emotion. His shoulders slump, giving up again. He repeats his earlier words. “You don’t have to be so strong Liz”

“The End of the World”

Yes I do.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 28-Dec-2001 11:52:39 AM ]