posted on 2-Jan-2002 3:34:35 AM by Trinity Star1323
Title: How Can I Help You To Say Goodbye
Author: trinitystar1323
Rating: R… to be NC-17
Disclaimer: The WB owns Roswell, the characters, and situations. No
infringement intended. Nothing is mine.
Summary: Max is still in New York. This fic will revolve around Max and Liz… and there will be absolutely NO one else to interfere between the two.
Category: Liz/Max
Authors Notes: This will switch between three different views. In Italics
will be journal entries. In bold will be the interview and in normal text
will be the retelling of the story. Title is from a song by Patty Loveless

September 18, 2001,
I'm Liz Parker… well, no I'm not, but I wish I was.

Love. It's the one singular word that holds more meaning in each person's
heart then anything else ever could. Everyone feels love, even if they deny
it, they still feel it; I don't think it's possible to not feel love. The
only problem is most love that people feel and the love they want are two
completely different things - except for Max and Liz. They shared the kind of
love everyone has dreamed of.

Liz and I shared a special friendship that I'll never forget. And once,
almost ten and a half months ago, she shed some light into my world and told
me exactly what love was. She had said love was like being on fire; your
whole body is flowing and your heart beats so fast you think it's going to
burst. I didn't believe her, not until I saw she and Max together.

When I saw Max and Liz together, I wanted to be Liz Parker. I wanted to dance her
dance, to dream her dreams, to be loved unconditionally as she was by Max
Evans. They shared a love that never grew old; and even today I don't
think I could describe it with the justice it deserves.

Not only did Liz Parker teach me about love, but about happiness as well.
She taught me that the best and most beautiful things in the world could not
be seen or touched, but that they had to be felt with the heart. She taught
me honesty that night when I saw the tears in her eyes. She taught me to dream
after she left that night. She taught me to feel after I discovered that I
too felt love. And she taught me happiness when I watched the purity that exists between Liz and Max.

Happiness. It isn't what we see and touch or that which others do for us
which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for
others and then for ourselves. Yet love is connected directly with
happiness. To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another.
And yet, still, many people have the wrong idea about what constitutes true
happiness; love does.

I don't think I would ever have become who I am today, had I not met Liz Parker.
Through Liz I learned that without the experience of yesterday's world, I
cannot have hope for tomorrow's world. I learned that I can't count the
blessings of others and not count my own. I learned to praise others for
bringing happiness and love into my life. And lastly, I learned that the
grand essentials to happiness and love in this life are something to do,
something to love, and something to hope for. Liz Parker and Max Evans gave
me all of that.


A small bare room, bathed in light coming through the window illuminated
everything and everyone in it. Pressing a cassette into a recorder, Sheriff
Valenti fiddled with the small microphone before pressing the record button.
He hadn't shaven in days, and his clothes had become a pair of jeans and a
T-shirt due to the long hours he was suddenly putting in.

Looking down at the young girl, Sheriff Valenti wondered just how she could
get dragged into one of the biggest messes this earth ever faced without
even realizing it. The disappearance of Max Evans had been unexpected. One
minute he was walking down the main streets of Roswell, New Mexico and the
next he was gone, and only two people knew where he was. And unbeknownst to
nine-year-old Rainie Jackson, she was the key to the world's survival.

"Do you mind if we hold the interview here?" Sheriff Valenti asked while
kneeling before the girl and making eye contact with her. He watched for any
signs of discomfort or uneasiness, but she never flinched nor wavered. Her
parents watched calmly from behind her, making sure the sheriff did nothing
to their only daughter.

"Here's fine." Rainie replied- her voice almost inaudible. She knew exactly
what the sheriff was after and she had no intention of giving it to him.
After Max and Liz had given everything up to the world around them, they too
deserved some happiness

"Where is Max Evans?" Sheriff Valenti asked. Pacing the length of his
office he took a quick glance at the young girl while waiting for her
answer. Once again she never flinched away or let her smile fade.

"Your guess is as good as mine." Rainie stated truthfully. She couldn't deny
that she hated lying, but if she had to lie in order to let Max and Liz have
their happiness together, then she would do it. "You know that the last time
I saw him was in late March when you picked me up in Loma, Montana- where
you picked me up."

"Yes, I remember quite well. You gave your parents quite a scare. How did
you know that Liz was in Montana?" Sheriff rubbed the arch of his nose as he
once again felt one of his migraines coming back. Since Max's disappearance
everything between Michael, Isabel and Tess had gone to shambles. They tried to
explain to the Sheriff that it was important for Max to be with them; the
only problem was that he was 18, and legally he could leave; but Liz
couldn't. And that's what Sheriff Valenti was really investigating.

"Liz and I were friends, we shared secrets, including where she would be."
Rainie admitted freely, yet again trying her hardest to give the Sheriff as
many straight answers as she could.

"Mr. and Mrs. Jackson, do you mind if I talk with your daughter alone, you
may wait outside the door if you wish, but I think it might be better."
Sheriff Valenti offered, hoping that they would accept and leave his office.
He knew that Rainie knew Max's secret, and moreover, that she too had
accepted them without reserve. Luckily, the Jackson's agreed, and before
stepping out, they each kissed their daughter on the forehead and told her
to tell the Sheriff as much as possible.

"I will." Rainie mumbled as she watched her parents leave. Once they were
out of the room, the child turned and looked at the Sheriff. "I don't know
anymore then you do. You know that. Anyway, why can't you just leave them

"Ah-ha, that's exactly why. Because you just admitted that they're together
when before you denied it." Sheriff Valenti said accusingly. He stared down
at the child, willing her to tell him the truth so he could tell Nancy that
Liz is back where she belongs. It didn't help that Nancy had no one to share
her loss with, and he knew Jeff must be rolling over in his grave at what is
going on, but Sheriff Valenti was determined to find Liz and Max.

"I didn't deny it, you just didn't ask me." Rainie retorted, looking Sheriff
Valenti straight in the eye. The questions were growing old, they were always the same,
and Rainie wondered how long it would be until the Sheriff understood that
her loyalties were to Max and Liz, not to him or the others.

"Ok, I'm going ask you one more time. Where is Liz Parker?" Sheriff Valenti
demanded, his voice low and steady, almost dangerous. He was growing
impatient and knew the longer it took to get a lead, the harder it would be
for them to find the two.

"I don't know where Liz Parker is." Rainie said truthfully once again. But
then, in the silent confines of her mind, she added, 'but I know where Liz
Evans is.'

"And Max Evans'?" Sheriff Valenti watched intently, hoping to find one sign of her lying to him, and finally got it. As he spoke Max's name, asking where he was, he saw Rainie's eyes falter for one second, if that, but it happened. For that one second, emotion clouded over her eyes, and for the first time in months, Rainie Jackson looked as if she might tell the truth. "You know where he is, Ms. Jackson."

"No, I don't." Rainie insisted, her eyes remaining steady now as she regained her barring from that brief moment where she thought she might have caved. This time she was lying though, and she hated herself for it, but Max and Liz being and staying together was more important then her feeling good for telling the truth. For one, Rainie was determined to be noble and do what was right in the heart and not in the mind.

"Ok, then… I guess we have to start from the beginning." Sheriff Valenti shrugged and then took a seat behind his desk, throwing his feet up to rest on the edges as he tried to get comfortable. Checking one last time to make sure there was plenty of tae left, and more if he needed them, Sheriff Valenti looked at Rainie to begin.

"From the beginning of what?" Rainie asked, trying her best to stall so she could once again compose herself before having to repeat the heart wrenching tail that had somehow brought back together two people who loved each other more then was humanly possible. Their story was even more tragic then that of Romeo and Juliet, and yet, Rainie liked Max and Liz's ending much better. "You're going to need more then one tape for my story."

"I have plenty. Go ahead…" Sheriff Valenti urged her on. He watched as she slid around in her chair, swinging her small legs up so as to sit Indian style as she placed the caps of her elbows on her knees. Then, resting her chin on the palms of her hands, Rainie took a deep breath before beginning.

"It was the day after Thanksgiving that everything set into motion. With all the commotion about what had happened at the Crashdown, Mrs. Parker's mental breakdown, and Max's disappearance to New York, I was more then a little surprised to learn from my mother that the Evans' would be taking care of Liz until Mrs. Parker got better. I guess I would have suspected Ms. DeLuca or the Whitman's to take care of her, but they didn't. Max and Tess didn't even know what had taken place, though, I think that maybe it was for the best that Max had been out of town otherwise he might have tried to do the noble thing and gotten caught.

But, that's beside the point. The first time I saw Liz was when Isabel and Mrs. Evans' had just brought her to their house…

Rushing around the house trying to find blankets and pillows, Isabel barely registered anything that was really going on. She faintly heard her mother telling her to not worry about finding everything right now, but instead that there were other things to tend to right now. In the last few days Isabel had gone through so much, but none of it compared to what was going on right now. She was trying her best to keep herself together and try to be strong, but with Max up and leaving without so much as a note, Isabel couldn't help but be worried. Luckily, Liz had been able to shed some light into the matter of Max's whereabouts; he was in New York, and with Tess.

But Isabel took her mother's advice and came down into the kitchen, taking a seat next to her mother, and Liz. Her friend’s sobs filled the house with sound and just as she was about to try and help her mother console Liz as best as they could, the phone rang. Neither wanted to answer it at the moment because they were trying to focus their attention on Liz and getting her to settle down.

"It's ok, let it all out sweety." Mrs. Evans' said softly as she collected Liz's trembling body into her arms and held her tightly. She looked over Liz's shoulder at Isabel and as the two let their eyes connect they both silently told one another that they were at a loss.

"It'll be ok, Liz… really, it will." Isabel tried her best to reassure Liz, but she hated lying to Liz as well, because if there was one thing Isabel knew right now, it was that nothing would ever be ok for Liz Parker again.

"Aren't one of you going to get the phone?" Mr. Evans' asked as he walked into the kitchen only to see his wife holding a crying girl in her arms, and his daughter gently rubbing the girls back. Squinting his eyes, Philip tried to see who the girl was, but his wife was hiding her pretty well with a blanket around her small body, and by pressing her head against her shoulder as she stroked her hair. "What's going on?"

"Oh, its just horrible, Phil… it really is." Diane murmured as she continued to try and calm Liz down. The ride over had been slightly better, seeing as Liz was in her catatonic stage, unwilling to accept what had just taken place. But now that she had taken in the full reality of the situation and all it's after affects, Diane could tell that Liz was past her catatonic stage and into the realization stage; this one would take much longer to work through. "If the caller is for either Isabel or I, tell them we are busy right now."

"Hello?" Mr. Evans' asked as he kept his eyes on his wife and the young girl in her arms. She looked vaguely familiar, and he suspected she was one of Isabel's friends, only she didn't look like Isabel's usual friends, there was something softer about her. He wondered what was going on and why his wife was caring for this young girl as she was. But there was one thing Mr. Evans' knew, whatever had happened had to be serious, otherwise he never would have gotten near the phone.

"Dad?" Max asked in confusion. His father never answered the phone, especially if Isabel or his mother had anything to say about it. He could faintly hear something in the background, but he couldn't place the sound or tell what it was.

"Max!" Mr. Evans' exclaimed. Both his daughter and wife looked up at him at his words, but when Liz began crying even harder they both decided that concentrating on Liz was much more important.

"Daddy…" Liz sobbed; her voice was hoarse with emotion as she tried to fight her way past the two people holding her down. There was only one thing Liz knew at that moment: she had to see her father. "Let me go, I have to see my dad!"

"No, Liz…" Isabel's heart broke as she watched her friend break down right in front of her. The once cool and calm Liz Parker was now in shambles as she struggled to see the one person she could never see again. Wrapping her arms around Liz's shaking body, Isabel and her mother hugged Liz tightly, trying their best to give her some sort of comfort so as to stop her from being hurt even worse. "Oh god, I'm so sorry Liz."

"I want my father!" Liz screeched as she fought against Isabel and Mrs. Evans'. She finally recognized the two and she was desperate to get away from them, from everyone except for her father. "He needs me!"

"He's gone Liz… he's gone…" Isabel whispered as tears streamed down her cheeks, causing her face to look similar to Liz's. Her mother was no better as she let Liz unravel in her arms, completely breaking down into fits of hysteria and crying.

"Liz?" Max had heard every bone chilling word that his sister had said, and he had heard the way Liz was speaking: desperate yet defeated. He called to his father again, trying to regain his attention, but Mr. Evans' was drawn to the small girl in his wife and daughter's arms. He finally recognized her, and he knew exactly what she was going through. That's when he finally snapped back and heard his son's pleading voice. "Dad! What's wrong with Liz?"

Ok, so, I posted this awhile back under Hole in my Soul. However, after revamping it a little and working my butt off, I decided to give it another whirl. I don't know if I will finish it anytime soon, but I will try. Yes, I'm working on She's the One. So don't worry.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 2-Jan-2002 3:51:09 AM ]
posted on 2-Jan-2002 12:11:44 PM by Trinity Star1323
more coming soon