posted on 5-Jan-2002 12:36:07 AM by LiLEvEe
- prologue - ..........page 1
- chapter one - ........... 2
- chapter two - ........... 5
- chapter three - ......... 7
- chapter four - ......... 12
- chapter five - ........... 18
- chapter six - ............ 25
- chapter seven - ........ 32
- chapter eight - ......... 36
- chapter nine - .......... 40
- chapter ten - ........... 55
- chapter eleven - ....... 62
- chapter twelve - ....... 73
- chapter thirteen - ..... 79
- chapter fourteen - .... 81
- chapter fifteen - ...... 99
- chapter sixteen - ...... 113
- chapter seventeen - .. 123
- chapter eighteen - .... 129
- chapter nineteen - .... 135




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Title: The Denial Game
Author: Evelynn
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, personas, affiliated objects, organizations, etc.
Distribution: Please ask first.
Category: AU. ML. Liz POV.
Rating: R (for language and violence)
Summary: Forget everything you know about Roswell and begin the tale a new. Liz is the daughter of Hank and Anna Phillips. But when Hank is sentenced to jail for the death of her mother, Liz is sent off to Roswell to live as a custody battle goes on between the Parkers and E. Harding. How much can a mentally distraught Liz take?

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Prologue

Ever heard of the denial game? I'm a pro at it. I've mastered the game. Played it all my life. I'll give you a tip. It's all in the ears. All you have to do is pretend; pretend you didn't hear it. I'm good at that, at pretending. It's all I ever do.

When the door slammed, I didn't hear it. When the gun shot, I didn't hear it. And when the cops came, I didn't hear them either. I stayed in my room like the good little girl that I am. In my bed, sound asleep, not hearing a thing. And when they told me I was going to be going away, I sure as hell didn't hear them then. I didn't even fucking listen.

You ever think that your life was the most screwed up thing in the world? Well, your wrong. Everyone has his or her own problems. Some just happen to suffer openly while everyone else is playing the happy game of denial.

Take into account, me, for instance. I lived my picture perfect life on the outside. I was little miss perfect, perfect little daughter, perfect little student, perfect grades, perfect attendance, perfect record, perfect fucking everything. Little miss perfect Elizabeth Philips.

That is, until they told me I was going to be a Parker. But did I hear them when they told me that? No siree bob. I was still playing the denial game, and it was my turn to roll. Here I go. Oh, wow. Look at that. Snake eyes. I lose. Yay me.

But first, I've got to explain the rules of the denial game to you. It's a pretty damn complicated game, so I'll just give you the basics.

First of all, there are no passes. When it's your turn to roll, you better damn well fucking roll. But the more you play, the more you lose and the more addicting it gets. So it's advised to avoid your turn as much as possible or at least prolong or postpone it.

Another thing, once you start playing the game, there ain't no way in hell you're getting out. Not without paying the piper. Blood and guts are the usual bail, that, or therapy. Though therapy is denial in itself. So I guess we'll just scratch that last bit.

Now on with the game.

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FEEDBACK please and tell me what you think.




[ edited 70time(s), last at 3-Feb-2003 6:43:48 PM ]
posted on 16-Feb-2002 2:13:51 PM by LiLEvEe
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Chapter One



“Hank Philips, please rise. You are sentenced to life in prison for the murder of Anna Philips. Elizabeth Philips, now Parker, will go into the custody of Jeffrey and Nancy Parker. Case dismissed.” The monotonous voice bellowed out as officers grabbed Hank Philips arms and carried him away.

“No! No! You will not take my daughter!” Hank screamed out as he jerked and twisted his body in an attempt to get free of the firm grip of the officers. “Lizzie, baby! Don’t worry, honey bear! Daddy’ll come and get you!” He yelled as they pulled him through the doors.

There I was, Little Elizabeth, seated in the front row, clutching my mother’s journal, tears rolling down my cheeks as they pulled my father away from me. I didn’t really notice all too much of it though. That’s right, while they were taking my father away my eyes were transfixed on my shoes, observing just how shiny they were, especially through tear filled eyes.

I hardly noticed the two pairs of legs that stopped in front of me. Not until one of them sat down beside me, looking at me, eye to eye. Or at least try to, with me still staring at my shiny, shiny shoes.

“Hello Elizabeth. My name is Nancy.” The woman in front of me spoke. Her voice was hushed and sugary sweet. Obviously trying her best to be nice and not scare me away. No need to try, I don’t get scared easily lady. In fact, one time, in Mrs. Anderson’s fourth grade class, there was a rumor going around that this one kid brought a knife to school. Everyone else was pissing in their pants scared, eyeing everyone around them, trying to guess who it was. Me? I didn’t give a damn. I leaned back in my chair and yelled at them to bring it on. Well, more so in my head, but that’s beside the point.

I started snickering thinking about it, and just realized that the woman was still talking to me. Why wouldn’t she leave already? Wasn’t it like with those other ladies? They would come over to me, tell them they’re sorry about my mother’s death and tell me to give them a call if I needed anything. Which they only said because they felt they were obligated to. Hell, I didn’t even know who the hell they were.

“And this,” she pointed towards the person beside her, “is Jeffrey. You’ll be living with us now. I hope that’s all right with you.”

I didn’t even acknowledge the woman who called herself Nancy. I didn’t even look at her. I was in shock. I was supposed to go live with these people? People I have never seen in my life? How the hell did that happen? I honestly thought that I was going to get to live on my own. I know that’s kind of absurd now that I think about it. A minor, living on her own. But that was what I really thought was going to happen. Like Home Alone, only on a more permanent basis.

“What’s this?” I heard Nancy ask me, her finger was pointing towards my mother’s journal that I was holding against my chest. I finally look up at her and she has this wary smile on her face. She was nervous. I could tell she was. Hell, I’d be nervous too with the blank looks I was giving her.

“Is it a book or something?” she asked as she started to reach for the journal to take a look at it. I jerked back fiercely and gave her one of my death glares.

“Don’t touch,” my voice came out cold and harsh, which resulted in startling and scaring her. I inwardly smiled in triumph, patting myself on the back. If the ‘Children of the Corn’ scary voice that came out of me even gave myself goose bumps, it sure as hell should get this woman away from me.

“Let me try, honey,” the man said as he stooped down where the woman was. Try all you want buddy, I ain’t talking. “Hi, I’m Jeffrey. You can call me Jeff though, or anything else you you’d like.”

How about, I’m-the-guy-who-thinks-I-can-get-people-to-open-up-by-letting-them-call-me-a-one-syllable-word-instead-of-two? I snickered inwardly at my own joke. If you hadn’t noticed, I tend to live in my head a lot. But hey, better than those who actually say these mean things to people. That’s just evil.

The guy had his hand extended, apparently waiting for me to shake. I look at it thinking, eww…cooties. I know, very childish, but that was just he first thing that popped up in my head. He finally pulled his hand back, realizing I wasn’t going to shake it.

“Umm… I know this is probably difficult for you,” he said. He was rubbing his hands on his pants nervously. Who in God’s name does this guy think he is? He doesn’t know one goddamn thing about me. He has no fucking clue exactly how difficult this is for me. He has no idea what I’m thinking. Because if he did, he’d probably be ten times more nervous than he actually is.

I was actually going to voice my opinion this time, instead of just thinking it all in my head. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, shy and quiet little Lizzie was getting ready to actually tell this guy off. That was, until I heard the door to the courtroom open.

We all looked back to see a lady enter the room, the clanking of her heels echoing through the empty courtroom as she walked towards us. Nancy and Jeffrey stood up and turned towards her. She stopped right in front of them and took a quick glance in my direction before introducing herself.

“Hello, my name is Amy Deluca with the Child Care and Custody Department. I’ve spoken with you on the phone before. You are Mr. and Mrs. Parker, correct?”

I looked at the woman in awe. Wow. That’s what I want to be like when I grow up. How this lady held herself let you know who was in charge. She could probably make a guy piss in his pants just by looking at them. Too cool.

“Um…yes, yes we are. And I do remember speaking to you,” Jeff nodded his head.

I’m sitting there snickering. Jeff-y boy here probably did already piss in his pants.

“Well, I need to talk to you, discussing Elizabeth Philips.” She said, heading over towards one of tables and opening up her briefcase.

“Actually, it’s Parker now, Elizabeth Parker.” Nancy tried to correct her.

I rolled my eyes. I shouldn’t even have a last name. Having a last name meant that I belonged to someone and I definitely do not belong to anyone. Especially not them and not anyone else either.

“Not yet it isn’t.” The authoritative lady said.

“What are you talking about?” Jeffrey asked her, shaking his head. “The judge announced it, just now.”

“I’m sorry. I thought this was going to be a clean and easy custody case too, but I should know better. They are never easy and someone always suffers in the process. Mainly the children.” Amy said with a sigh and a sympathetic smile towards me.

Wait a second there. Sympathetic? A pity smile? She’s PITYING me? SHE is pitying ME? Her and her short nappy hair and her make-up filled face that just screams ‘I’m a zombie, look at me’. I don’t need her pity. Stupid bitch. Of course, I never say any of these things out loud. No, that would be bad. So I’m just staring at my shiny shoes once again.

“We’ve already signed the papers and all, she’s in our custody now.” Nancy said. Nancy looked like she was on the verge of tears. Dude. How can you start crying over someone you didn’t even know?

“I’m sorry but you are only distant relative and a cousin of Anna’s has been found. We’ve spoken to him and he has shown interest in taking custody of Elizabeth. So until he makes his decision, the ball is in his court. There’s nothing else we can do.”

Wait a second. Now I’ve got someone else trying to brand their last name on me? Once I’m finally eighteen, I’ll probably have so many names imprinted on my ass, there won’t even be any room left for when I get married. Wait. Scratch that. I’ll be damned if I get stuck being someone’s slave. I can’t even cook and clean for myself. I am hell as not going to be doing it for someone else.

“But, what happens to Elizabeth?” Jeffrey asked, his voice tight. Nancy is already crying on his shoulder. Geez, you’d think these people were loosing their dog or something. I don’t even know them.

“Well, she’ll have to be put in a foster home until then. Unfortunately, none are available, so she’ll be in the local orphanage.” Amy said as she shuffled through papers.

“What? No. No, I don’t want that for her,” Jeffrey protested.

“I’m sorry, but you don’t have a say anymore.” Amy said, shutting her briefcase. I couldn’t help but snicker. How that woman did it left no room for argument. Boy did that lady have power.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Parker. I know the woman who runs the orphanage. She’ll take good care of Elizabeth.”

“I’d still rather…” Jeffrey whispered. Obviously scared that this woman would get mad again. Hehe…

“I stop by there to help out all the time. I’ll make sure to keep an eye out for Elizabeth. You have nothing to worry about.” And with that she started walking away. She stopped at the row I was seated at. “Let’s go, Elizabeth.” She nodded her head at me and kept walking. She knew I heard every word of their conversation.

Wow. There was definitely no disobeying this lady. She was not one to mess with. You just had to be there to see how powerful she was. And with my choice of a strong lady who didn’t take shit from anyone or a wimp like Jeffy-boy here. Can’t you guess which one I picked?

I hopped up from my seat and followed her, not glancing back once.


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If I had actually know just how much Nancy and Jeffrey were already considering me as their daughter, or that I would actually grow to like them, I might have felt bad walking away from them then, but I didn’t, so I don’t.

After I hopped into huge SUV (powerful set of wheels for a powerful woman), we rode in pretty much silence as we headed off to the orphanage. It was kind of creepy, but I didn’t mind. I loved the silence. It gave me more time to think. More time to live in my head.

“I know orphanages are a really bad place for a kid to be, but you’ll like it there. I promise.” She glanced over at me with a small smile. A pitying smile. What is it with people pitying me? And for people calling me a kid for that matter? Don’t they know that I’m a teenager? I have every right to count as a young adult. God knows I’ve been put through enough shit to qualify as one. I’m sixteen, people! Just because I’m trapped in an undeveloped body that looks like a twelve year old. Freaking people. I should tell her off. I should… I should… Grrr…

“Elizabeth?”

“Yes, ma’am?” I say in a sugary sweet voice. Yes. If you have not noticed, I am one hell of a coward. I can run away from my problems like the best of them. Damn straight. It’s all part of the game, man.

“It’s already past dinner time at the orphanage. Would you like to stop somewhere and get something to eat first?” She asked me, pointing a finger towards some fast food joints on the street.

Am I hungry? I’ve forgotten what hungry feels like. You don’t get hungry when you’re scared. You tend to throw up food that way. I’d better not. So I muster up a sweet smile. “Actually…”

But she interrupted me. “Oh, I know. It’s perfect. We’ll go to this place so you can get acquainted with it. It’s a themed restaurant. It looks so cute. I’ll take you there. That way I can talk to you about some of the paperwork in the will your mom left for you. You’re still too young to handle any of it, so it’ll go to whomever it is that has custody of you, at least until your eighteen. I just thought I’d give you a heads up on what is all there to deal with.”

Whoa… mom left me stuff? Mom had stuff to leave me? Boy howdy. I hope it’s something good. Maybe it’s a million dollars. I roll my eyes at the stupidity of it. If my mom had a million dollars, she wouldn’t have stayed with my dad for as long as she did. That would have been nice. She might have taken me with her too.

Scoff. I doubt it. It would have been cool, but I highly doubt it. My mom didn’t want me anymore than my dad did. I had a big feeling that I was a mistake. Why is that, you ask? Well, other than the fact that my dad yelled at my mom all the time for that mistake that was sleeping upstairs, which had to have been referring to me. I mean, he did add in my name a couple of times, so there’s no confusion there.

I was too busy with my thoughts that I didn’t even notice that Mrs. Deluca had stopped the car, or that she was already out of it, waiting for me to get out as well. But when I felt shivers running down my spine, I glance up and there she was, tapping her foot outside. Shit. Never slow down an impatient lady. A ‘powerfully’ impatient lady.

I hurried up and hopped out of the car and smiled apologetically to her. “Sorry…”

“It’s okay, Elizabeth,” she said, turning towards the door and heading in.

I froze upon entering the diner. It was like entering the twilight zone. The entire diner, wall to wall, was decked in alien things. It was so lame and freaky that it was actually kind of… cool.

Mrs. DeLuca had already found a booth and was seated while I was busy staring at all the things. I hightailed it over to her as soon as I saw her waving at me.

“I’m sorry,” I said as I sat down in the booth across from her. “I was just…” I waved my hand around at all the alien stuff, which was pretty much the entire restaurant.

“Yeah,” she nodded her head, glancing around too. “This place is kind of nifty. You want to know the niftiest thing about it is?” She looked at me with wide eyes and a big smile on her face. And me? I’m terrified. A cool, controlling lady smiling wickedly at me. You’d be pissing in your pants too.

“What?” God, was that ‘my’ voice? It sounded like a squeak; like something that would come out of a field mouse.

“It’s yours…”

And here’s me, staring at her as though she’s grown a second head, or maybe even a third.

“What?” I asked, making a face at her.

“This restaurant is yours. Well, partly yours.” She said, rolling her eyes.

I’m still looking at her, dumbfounded. “What?”

“Your mom owned part of this diner and left it to you in her will.” Amy opened up her briefcase and pulled out some paperwork and put on her glasses, reading it. “Says right here,” she showed me the document. “She has co-ownership with a Charles Whitman.”

A slow smile appears on my face. “This…” my hand sways around the diner, “is mine?”

“Partly…” she put the papers back into her briefcase, “and not until you’re eighteen. We’ll talk about the other things she left you after we eat.” Amy lifted her hand and waved a waitress over.

“Wait.” My eyes go wide. “There’s MORE?”

She just smiles at me before turning her head and frowning towards the register. “Maria. We’re ready to order.”

The blonde girl at the counter rolls her eyes before grabbing two menus and making her way over to us. The waitress smiled at me and frowned at Amy. What’s going on there?

“I thought we agreed,” the girl said to Amy, “You would no longer come here and bother me at work. And please tell me you didn’t bring a camera this time.”

“Well, I’m not bothering you. And I’m camera-free. Gosh, I just wanted a picture of you in your outfit. Can’t a mom have a picture of her daughter?” Amy said pursing her lips.

Oh, I get it. The waitress is Amy’s daughter. Hehe… yeah, I’d be embarrassed to have my mom at my work too. That is, of course, if I worked… and if I had a mom. I love pity-parties. I’m always the center of attention. I love attention. It makes me feel special. Yup, that’s me, shy quiet little Liz, always the life of the party… if I was ever invited to a party. God my life sucks.

“I don’t want you having pictures of me in this… thing of a dress. It’s hideous!” Maria complained. I, personally, don’t see why she’s complaining. I think they’re pretty cool. I mean, it’s not like they aren’t formfitting. And you also get to show off some leg too. Okay, the antennas, I’d have to agree, are a little too much.

“I wouldn’t complain so much Maria,” Amy said with a smirk on her face. “Especially with your boss around.”

Maria gasped and looked around the room before huffing and glaring at Amy. “Mr. Whitman is NOT around. You shouldn’t joke like that.”

“I’m not joking,” Amy held her hands up in defense before waving her hand towards me. “Maria, I’d like to introduce you to Liz. She’s now a co-owner of the Crashdown Café, or at least, she will be once she’s eighteen.”

Maria cocked her head and looked at me. “No shit?”

Amy cleared her throat and narrowed her eyes at her daughter.

Maria cleared her throat. “Oh, I mean… um… Really?”

Damn straight blondie. Bow down. Of course I don’t actually say these things out loud. In actuality, I just nod my head slightly before ducking behind my menu.

If you also hadn’t noticed about me, I am not a sociable person. Never have been. Doubt I ever will be. But behind the menu, blocking out the rest of the world, I smile. I have the biggest freaking smile on my face. Yup. Life might actually start picking up. No doubt about it. If I play it right, my life will start getting good, starting now…


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After we ordered and Maria delivered our food, we kind of just sat there and ate until Amy excused herself, pulling a camera out of her briefcase and winking at me before slipping out of the booth. I snicker to myself. Although she can be kind of embarrassing, Amy has got to be one of the coolest moms to have. I wish I had a mom like that. Wish I had a mom…

The silence after she left was comforting. After all, I thrived on silence. I didn’t really talk much. I didn’t order much, I didn’t eat much either. God, I’m always doing things a little short aren’t I? Hell, I’m even short myself. You think all these things could add up to something? I wonder… if someone psychoanalyzed my life, wonder what they would come up with. They’d probably figure that I was a lot more screwed up in my head than I let on to be. That… and more scared too…

Nope. I’m not letting anyone into this head of mine. I don’t want anyone digging around and coming up, telling me that I’m normal, average. I’m anything BUT average. I’m special, unique. I don’t aim to be like everyone else. I don’t want to be some Jane Do working at a cheese factory. Hell no. There is not one damn thing great about just being ‘normal’. I am not normal. I am above normal. Above average. Above all the rest. I am Elizabeth. Hear me roar!!

“Hey… are… are you okay?” this guy is asking me while he seemed to be laughing at something. What the hell? Wasn’t I just sitting here by myself? How the hell did this guy get there anyway? You don’t just sit in any damn booth you want. Especially with someone else already sitting there. It’s called common courtesy.

“What the hell do you want?” I snapped at him. Whoa… was that me? Did I actually snap at someone? Wow. Looky here, little Lizzie is actually growing a backbone. Go me. My life was changing all right. I finally look up at his face. Oh… dear… Lord. This guy has the most… incredible eyes. He is so… so… hot. Damn. Since when do I notice guys? Well, it’s a good time to start, because this guy is so ‘I could just eat him up’ good-looking. Mmm… grrr…

But then the guy starts laughing again. Wait a minute here. Didn’t I just tell this guy off? What the hell? Is he not taking me serious or something? Am I not serious? Do I look like a little kid to him or something?

“What do you want?” Hmmphff. Take that. Pissing me off. Freaking rude bastard. A freaking HOT rude bastard, but still a rude bastard, nonetheless.

“It’s… it’s a… nothing,” he says with this smirk that you just can’t help but grow to hate. “It’s just that you… um… you … ‘growled’ at me,” he said, lifting his eyebrows, that smirk still on his face.

Oh dear God. Please tell me I didn’t do that. My mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to think of something to tell this guy, but I just couldn’t come up with anything. God, how embarrassing.

And as if reading my mind and wanting to rub it in more, he lifting up his hand, showing two fingers. “You growled… twice,” he said, his smirk growing wider.

Whatever physical attraction I had for this guy, just completely went down the drain. How can someone be such a cocky-assed bastard? Was he just born that way? “Look,” I bite at him, “Is there a certain reason why you’re sitting in my booth?”

“Well, normally see, this is ‘my’ booth. I always come in at this time, everyday, and sit in this booth right here.” He leaned back and patted the back to his seat, as if I was so dumb as to not know what booth he was referring to.

“You must really not have a life then, huh?” I say, lifting an eyebrow at him. I’m not normally one to diss, especially since I don’t have a life myself, but there’s just something about this guy that makes me want to just… strangle him.

“Well, I don’t know about that,” he said coolly, “But I think sitting here with a pretty lady beats sitting at home and watching T.V.”

Okay, is he flirting with me now? The hell? Oh my gosh… he just winked at me. He’s flirting with me. All right. If that’s how you want to play it, bring it on, Romeo.

“You may not think so kindly of me once you get to know me,” I say with a smirk of my own.

“How about I get to know you and then I’ll be the one to decide on that.” Oh, he’s one smooth talker there.

“I’m sorry, you’re just not my type,” I say, looking him up and down, making a face as though I didn’t like what I saw, which was hard to do seeing as how he had the body of a Greek god.

“What? Tall, dark and handsome isn’t your type?” he asked with that freaking smirk on his face.

“On the contrary, I love a guy who is… tall… dark… and handsome.” I make a show, being as provocative as I can, licking my lips and using my tongue to my advantage. “I’m just not fond of cocky arrogant bastards,” insert sweet smile and a wink. Take that.

He sighs and smiles a pouty smile at me. And it’s so cute. “Can’t I at least get your name?”

“I’m sorry,” I shake my head, “But that’s very highly classified information.”

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours,” he says, leaning forward on the table, a smirk on his face. “I’ll even throw in my number for you. I’d call that a fair-trade. Wouldn’t you?”

I lean forward and am about to fire back a comment, but as luck would have it, there comes a scream from the back, and out of the door marked ‘Employees Only’ comes Amy with a smile on her face and a camera in her hand.

She walks right to our booth and looks at the guy sitting across from me, who was magically sitting straight, and the smirk on his face was now replaced with a shy smile. “Good Afternoon, Mrs. DeLuca.”

“Hello Max,” She said smiling back at him. “My, how you’ve grown. It’s been a while since I saw you last. How’ve you been?”

“Good, good.” The guy answered, nodding his head, that shy smile still there. God, this guy just had a total personality change. Wonder what his deal is? Probably a lot of things he’s hiding under all those layers of his too. I bet he doesn’t like average either…

Amy glanced at her watch. “Liz, we should be going.” I nodded to her and glanced quickly at Max. He has that smirk on his face, looking right at me while he mouths my name. You can just feel it rolling off his tongue, even though no sound actually came from his lips.

God… you just want to smack that smirk off his face. That, or kiss it off… Damn, when did I become such a girl?

“Here’s twenty dollars, Max,” Amy handed a twenty-dollar bill to him, who again magically became shy-smile boy. “You wouldn’t mind handling the bill for me would you? And Maria while you’re at it.”

“Of course,” his voice is shy and quiet. The cocky smooth-talker all but vanished. What is with this guy? What happened to the arrogant macho guy that was smart-talking with me earlier?

“You’re such a sweetie,” Amy said, pinching his cheek. And as if to complete the transformation, the guy actually blushes and ducks his head. Can you say ‘a-dor-a-ble’?

“Let’s go, Liz,” Amy said, heading towards the door.

I get up to follow her and take a step away from the booth when I heard it, his silky voice calling out softly, “Goodbye, Liz.” Goddamnit. That voice. The way my name just rolled off his tongue sent shivers down my spine. Damn it… damn it… damn it…

I look back, wink, flip my hair and went in for the kill as I sway my hips and strut away. Hey, we’ll probably end up going to the same school, but it’s not like I hang out in the cool crowds or anything, which he must obviously be a part of. What are the chances of me running into him again? Or the chances of him ever talking to me again, once he finds out what a dork I am…


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[ edited 2 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 7:48:12 PM ]
posted on 27-Feb-2002 10:24:06 PM by LiLEvEe



[ edited 6 time(s), last at 22-Jul-2002 2:31:30 PM ]
posted on 28-Feb-2002 4:55:27 PM by LiLEvEe
*


[ edited 3 time(s), last at 7-Jun-2002 2:55:45 AM ]
posted on 28-Feb-2002 11:53:46 PM by LiLEvEe
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Chapter Two



So, if you tuned in last week when our hero defeated the evil two-faced smirk guy, now, we head back off on another wonderful adventure with Psycho-Depressed Girl… dun da da dah… Actually, I’m not depressed, not at all. In fact, I feel good considering all the things that have happened to me. Really good.

And this is me, lying to myself again in order to stay sane. Because if I actually sat down and thought about everything that’s gone wrong in my life, I’ve had slit my wrists or hung myself. Neither of which are good options for me, physically and mentally. Socially too, but then I’m not very much of a social person. Can you even make friends in Hell, anyway?

Because I’m more than positive that’s where I’m going. Only the good people get into Heaven and I’m not exactly mother Teresa, you know. But then, who is? Definitely not split personality boy from the diner. Hell no. He’s probably got more things going on with him than I do. Now that’s bad.

I know, it’s not a good thing to do, comparing my screwed up life and trying to make it seem as if it’s okay by saying that others have it more screwed up than me. But that’s how my mind works. That’s how I cope. It’s how I deal.

That Max fellow doesn’t really have it all that bad. He’s just got layers, walls he’s put up, different personalities he hides behind. What I can’t figure out though, is why, a full hour after I already left the diner, he is still in my goddamn head. He probably gave me his cooties or germs or something that’s making me think of him.

Some kind of spell… like love Potion Number 9. Where the dorky, nerdy scientist turns into the hot babe in the end. Only in Hollywood people. Only in Hollywood, where the ‘beautiful’ people are. It’s too bad we’re not in sunny California. Nope. We’re here in dingy and dusty New Mexico. Where there’s nothing but miles and miles of desert.

So, since I’m not going to magically shed off my skin where I’m hiding my to-die-for body, it can’t be one of those ‘magical’ thingies that draws me to him. So what is it? It’s so fucking funny that I keep asking myself this when I already know the answer. I’ve already said it so many fucking times. What attracts me to him… yup, you guessed it… his layers.

Why am I attracted to his layers? Why do people play with a rubix cube for hours and hours? Because you want to solve the puzzle. Trying to be able to conquer the mystery of the six-sided demon. So, me? I want to see what’s under all his layers. See who the real Max is… or ‘what’ the real Max is…

It’s kind of corny if you think about it. But there’s more to it if you contemplate hard enough, me wanting to rip at all of Max’s layers, break down all his walls. I’m doing this in a way to help him, because deep down, no matter how much I deny it, I want someone to help me too, break down my walls, peel off all my layers… BUT, we don’t have time to think about that because Amy is calling us. Yes she is. We should go to her. Yes we should. Damn it. Why am I talking to myself? Grr…

So, I hop up out of my seat where I have been having this ‘discussion’ with myself for the last ten or so minutes and walk over to her. See, we are in the orphanage right now, and Amy told me to sit in the chair and wait while she talked to the lady in charge. So that was what I did, like the good little Liz that I am.

“Yes, Mrs. Deluca?” I mustered up the sweetest voice I had, which wasn’t really all that hard to do, since all I have ever been all my life, excluding the talk with the layer-boy, was sweet little Lizzie. Though it does have its advantages. Hehe… this one time, in seventh grade, all of the preserved lab frogs we were supposed to dissect somehow disappeared out of Mrs. Wood’s classroom and magically hopped their way into Stacy Scheinin’s locker. They all fell down on her when he opened her locker, totally ruining her dress and making all of her clothes and books and everything… reek… forever. Fucking hilarious. So fucking hilarious.

And the only people who had access to the science room at the time were me and Tommy Jones. So you can guess who got in trouble. Not Little Lizzie, of course, she could never do such a thing… hehe. I’m not evil. I promise, I’m not. They both deserved it. Tommy told the entire seventh grade that I gave him a blowjob. And Stacy, for some fucked up reason, said that she saw me doing it, not only with Tommy, but also with Fungi, the fag boy. That is just messed up when everyone already knew they were the ones fucking each other. Yes, even in seventh grade, this shit was happening.

Anyways, enough of the good old days. Right now, Amy is telling me that I’ll like it here, that I’ll be fine, that she’ll come and visit me… blah, blah, blah. Something about me not being here long… yada, yada… lawyer stuff… yackety yack… be good… you know, the regular stuff.

And then I was ushered down a hall and pushed into a room, the door shutting behind me. The room was pretty small with not much to it. There was a table with a lamp on it, two dressers, a closet, and two beds, both nicely made with the blankets folded at the end of each bed. One, with a suitcase on it, my suitcase, and the other, with a person on it, reading a magazine.

She lifts her head and looks at me, narrowing her blue eyes. Then she stood up circled around me, sizing me up. She stopped in front of me, extending her hand.

“Tess,” is apparently the vulture’s name, “You are?”

Now, how should I answer? Should I tell her off and gain an enemy or play nice and make a friend? Choices, choices. I give up and opt for the latter one. Despite what you may think, I’m actually a civil, though not social, person. I like to be cool with people. There are less arguments. And a lot less ‘Grrr’s’ in my head. See? Everyone’s happy.

“Liz.” I say, taking her hand and giving it a firm shake.

She nods her head and lies back down on her bed. “So… whatcha in here for?”

“Dad killed mom. Dad’s in jail. You?” I know what you’re thinking, why the hell are you telling this to a complete stranger. Hear me out first. This blonde chick here, she’s had it worse than me. I can tell. Something in the way she holds herself. Trust me. I know. I don’t spend a lot of time talking to people, but I do spend enough time watching them. Everything is in the way they act and the way they react. She was sizing me up as if she’s big and bad, but it’s all a front. She maybe handy with a switchblade, and could probably slit my throat in my sleep, but she’s more than that… more scared of me than I am of her deep down kind of thing. It’s all in how she reacted to me. Easy person to read.

The more trickier ones are the schizophrenics like our dear Maxy-boy. They react and act differently to everything. Like if you ask a kid if he likes Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He’ll either say yes or no. Max will sometimes answer yes, or no, or shrug, or pretend as though he doesn’t know what Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are, even though everyone knows who the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are, or maybe even pretend as though he doesn’t speak English, or that he’s deaf, blind, etc., etc. There are all sorts of other possibilities.

“Never had parents.” The girl said nonchalantly, interrupting my thoughts. Which is good because when I’m left to think for too long of a period of time, I tend to over analyze everything. And I mean everything. And my thoughts always drift… “But according to the orphanage people, what parents I did have, left me on the side of the road.”

Most of the time, this is where people feel bad for having asked and apologize, but that’s not how it works. See me, I simply nod my head at her, and she nods back before returning to her magazine. See? Everything’s cool. We understand each other. No prying, no talking, no nothing. We just accept and let go. I carry on, unpacking my stuff and placing them into the drawers and she just goes on reading her magazine, bobbing her head every now and then.

Life would be oh-so much easier if we could always be like this. Live indifferent to everything around us. And not give a damn about anyone else. And not have this supernatural urge to pull off people’s layers. God damn it! Stop thinking about Max! Grrr…


--------------


So… things weren’t that bad. I may be stuck in an orphanage, and believe me, I’ve heard all the bad things they say about orphanages, I’ve watched Annie. But you have to understand how I work. What is so great about these places is that there are so many kids that they have to deal with, that if you aren’t one to cause a scene or in constant need of attention, you are neglected and forgotten about. Which is exactly how I love to be.

And what’s even better is that they have ‘recreation hour’ when they shove all the kids into one large room and let them kill each other while the adults go in back and watch porn. They don’t really do that. I just say things. They’re actually pretty nice. So are some of the kids. Not that I talked to any of them. I know, I said I wasn’t a social person but I love this ‘recreation hour’. It’s cool because I can see everyone at once. This way I can just sit back and watch, observing people. Hey, it’s more fun than you think. Honest.

See, right now, I’ve claimed my territory in the middle of the room, sitting in a wheelie chair. I can spin around and have complete and total view of the entire large room. To my left, in front of me, there are two girls playing Candy Land, completely engrossed in the game. There are other board games spread around them as well.

I turn a little, and I see a boy playing with an action hero, moving it around with his hands while making sound effects, as if the plastic thing can fly. Don’t roll your eyes. Everyone did it when they were little too. Next to him is a little boy, lying on his stomach, reading a comic book. And a few feet behind them, is another little kid, talking to air. You know, imaginary friend. I didn’t have one when I was little. I simply talked to myself. There was less confusion on my part that way.

Pivot a little more, and there’re two girls picking on another little girl with glasses on and her hair in pigtails. While other little kids around their age are watching from a distance. That’s not good. How come that suddenly reminds me of me? They just pushed her down into a seat and you guessed it… whoopy cushion central. The two girls wave their hands in front of their faces and said something to make the other kids laugh and the little girl cry.

Go ahead. Ask me. Ask me why I’m not interfering. Ask me why I’m not stopping this and going to go comfort the little girl. I want to. I want to rescue her, and in a way rescue myself. I really do. But I can’t. It may sound corny, but this will only make her stronger. It’ll prepare her for the harshness and coldness of the real world.

Think about it. If I rush in and save her this time, who is going to do it the next time it happens, and it will happen again. It always does. If I don’t give her this chance to grow a backbone, she’ll never be able to stand up for herself. Believe me. I know. I grew my backbone. The only problem with me is that mine grew inside my head. That’s what solitude does to you.

I just… I can’t tear my eyes away from the scene. I want this girl to stop crying. I want her to get up, walk up to those bully girls and tell them off, slap them. But I know that’s not what’s going to happen. It didn’t happen six years ago with me, and it’s not going to happen now.

The little girl just keeps crying. The two girls walk away with their noses so fucking high in the air, and the group of wannabes follows them, like the trained dogs they are. But this time, something different happens. Something that didn’t happen to me. One of the kids in the group is still standing there with a look on his face. No, it wasn’t a pitying look. It was more… apologetic. The boy is sorry that he didn’t stop them. And he wipes away her tears and she smiles at him.

Awww… that is so sweet. Damn I wish that would have happened to me. Can’t you just picture it? Me, at ten with my glasses on, my hair in pigtails, and a certain layer-boy wiping away my tears. Yeah, right. Not in a million years. The situation with this little girl is different. This little girl is actually adorably cute. I, on the other hand, wasn’t and am still not. Sigh.

I feel a small tap on my shoulder and turn to see a guy standing beside me. He’s holding his stomach and slapping his knee. “Did you see that? Wasn’t that fucking hilarious?” He was pointing his hand to the little girl as the little boy lifted the seat cushion and held up the whoopy cushion.

And this is me, glaring at the bastard. What the hell? This guy looks like he’s about seventeen and he’s laughing at a poor defenseless kid, being picked on. You know he just had to be one of those lackey dogs when he was little, doing things just because everyone else was. I ought to kick him. I ought to slap him right in the face, because basically, when you get down to it, he’s laughing at me. What in hell, gives him the right to laugh at me?

“So… you new?” he says with a smirk on his face, looking me up and down. Oh hell no. There is no wanting to kiss the smirk off this guys face like there is with two-faced boy. Nope. There’s only a vicious urge to hit it off with a stick. See, there are no layers to this punk. No siree. This guy is all cocky assed bastard. Not like adorable schizophrenic boy kind of cocky. Nope. This guy is so completely full of himself. Completely full of shit.

“You should stick with me. I’ll show you the ropes, how everything’s laid out,” he makes this show as if he’s king of the playground. As if he’s got the biggest dick in the world, when you know it’s probably the size of an inchworm.

And me? I do a little twist and turn away. Jackasses like these just aren’t even worth the effort. But then he grabs my seat and pulls me back around. “I’ll only offer once, next time you’re going to have to beg.” He says, completely invading my personal bubble.

Oh, hell no. No one, and I mean no one invades my personal little bubble. Or I just fucking explode. Forget the shy and quiet Liz. Forget censoring this shit with little kids around. Forget all that. I am ready to just tell this ass off. And I just about to too, except someone beat me to it.

“Fuck off, Sean,” comes Tess from out of nowhere. And I’m actually glad to see her. Not that I couldn’t take the bastard down by myself. I may be small, but I could bitchslap like the best of them.

“Aww… is little Tessie-poo jealous?” he turns away from me and focuses on Tess. “Don’t worry, Tessie, honey. You’re still my number one bitch.”

If he has said that to me? I would have slapped him. Straight out. But Tess isn’t like me. She doesn’t react the same way. Want to know what Tess did? She smiled. Yup. Smiled. Then she steps closer to him and whispered in his ear so that no one else could hear. No one else but me, of course, since I’ve got front row seats to the showdown.

“The only bitch around here, Sean, is you,” Tess whispered to him with a smirk on her face. If you hadn’t noticed, everyone smirks. Especially if they have something really smart or cynical going on in their heads. And I got a feeling Tess did. “Don’t forget, Seany-boy. I walked in on you and Paul-y when you got drunk that one night. I know all about your sexual ‘experimentation’.”

And there goes Sean, quivering in his boots. Hehe… way to go Tess! “So stay the hell away from Liz. She’s mine.” Whoa… wait a minute there. What did she just say? I’m still sitting there staring on just like everyone else in the room, waiting to see what happens. Sean looks around nervously and then bolts to his corner where his group of guys are. Wonder which one of them is Paul? Hehe…

Tess watches him scurry away with the smirk on her face. She turns back towards me, winks and walks away, disappearing to where ever she came from. And I’m still sitting here, wondering what the hell just happened…


--------------


So… after our recreation hour was over, which I don’t see why they call it recreation ‘hour’ when it lasts for over an hour and a half, it’s time for bed. Can you believe that? Going to bed at eight o’clock? Adults are the weirdest people. They just don’t understand it. Right after they let the kids run around and get hyped up, they’re going to try and strap them down to their bed? I don’t think so. I guess they figure that if they let them play, it’ll wear the munchkins down, but it’s actually quite the opposite. It’s easier to get kids high then to slow them down. These adults. I’m telling you they’re just asking for pillow fights and panty raids.

But then, what the hell do I know? This is only my first time in an orphanage. However, I’m just telling it like I see it. I’ve spent the last couple of hours observing these kids. I’ve actually got a bunch of them figured out. I haven’t talked to any of them, but I’ve got it down.

This tubby kid gets made fun of by everyone. He pretends not to be bothered by them. Walls. But unlike my schizophrenic boy, this kids only got one layer he hides behind. Anger. Violence. He keeps a frown on his face all the time and plays off that he’s big and bad. He won’t even think twice about hitting someone. And violence never solves anything. This kid, unlike the pigtailed girl, could actually be helped if someone sat him down and explained that to him. That is, if he’d listen. He has one hell of a thick head. Thinks the whole world is against him.

Now, one of the bully girls that picked on pigtailed girl, didn’t really want to do it. While her partner in crime was off in the bathroom, she went over to pigtailed girl and apologized to her. It was the peer pressure that made her do it. She was scared. Scared to be made fun of by everyone else if she hadn’t done what the other girl wanted. The sad thing was that as soon as the other girl came back from the bathroom, bully girl went back to being an obnoxious little prick.

Okay, pigtailed girl and her knight in shining armor, are the most adorable little thing. With him staying back and comforting her after she was picked on, they both discovered they liked each other. And young love is so innocent and cute. They both shared a cookie together. And when they were coloring in the coloring books, they both grabbed for the red crayon and their hands touched. They both let go immediately and blushed beet red. It was so cute. I spent most of my time watching these two, but I got to glance around at the other people as well.

Like in Sean’s group, they are all full of themselves, not just Sean. And of the five guys, you can definitely tell which one of them Paul is, or as Tess referred to him, Paul-y. He’s the one that sways his hips when he walks, and winks at Sean every now and then when none of the other guys are looking. It’s so fucking hilarious and deeply disturbing at the same time. Especially since they, more likely than not, know that he’s fruity in the booty, and yet they keep him in their little group. I wonder what for? Never mind I don’t want to know.

And I’m thinking about all of this while I’m standing outside my room, my hand on the doorknob. Why am I not going in? Am I scared? Scared of Tess? No. It’s not so much of being scared. It’s more of not wanting to be in an awkward situation. But the adults are coming, checking up on the little kids and shooing others into their rooms. So I should go into mine, right?

“Good night, Liz,” one of the workers says to me as she walks past. “I hope you sleep well.”

I smile at her and nod my head, turning the doorknob and entering the room. Inside, Tess is on her bed, flipping through a magazine like she was when I first met her, only this time we’re both in our pajamas.

She nods at me after I close the door. I nod back and start walking towards my bed. I pull a book out of one of my drawers and lay down on the bed. And guess what book I’m reading. ‘The Watcher’. Oh, yeah. It’s a book about a girl who has a bad dad and an indifferent mom. She’s always sitting back and just watching people, living in her head. Sound familiar? I didn’t think so either. I’m not even reading the book. Nope. I’m pretending, flipping the pages every few minutes.

See, we both know that neither of us goes to sleep this early. So to waste time, we are both flipping our pages and thinking away in our heads so we don’t actually talk to each other. That way, if we don’t talk to each other, there is less chance of us not getting along. And I know Tess isn’t looking at her magazine either. This is the third time she’s reached the last page and started it over to flip through the pages all over again.

And you know what? I’m tired of this. If I end up not getting along with her, Mrs. Deluca said I wasn’t going to be here long anyways. So I’m just going to ask her. Who gives a shit what I find out? I sit up in my bed and look at her. “What did you mean when you said that I was yours?”

She leans over her bed, sliding her magazine under it and sitting up as well. “Don’t worry, Parker. I don’t swing that way. It’s a thing here. Me and Sean have been here the longest out of anyone. Me longer than him though. So we get dibs on the newbies if we want them. So saying that your mine is just adding you to my clique.”

“Oh,” I say, somewhat understanding. “So, how many people are in your clique?”

“Just you,” she said, pulling another magazine out from under her bed to flip through. “You’re the only person I’ve ever called dibs on. You’re lucky. I don’t normally pull status around here.”

Wow. Orphanages have rank. And Tess is the Queen Bee. Wait… “So why did you pick me?”

Tess shrugged her shoulders. “Didn’t want to see you get harassed and manhandled by Sean and his delinquents.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Tess is still just flipping through her magazine as though we aren’t actually having a conversation, even though we are. She likes having someone to talk to. Even though she won’t admit it. This is her front to pretend as though it wouldn’t make a difference to her whether I was here or not.

If that’s how she does it, I’ll play along. I put my book back up in my drawer and pull out my sketchbook and a pencil, opening it up to a clean page and doodling away. I’m a pretty good artist if I do say so myself. “So, what school are we going to?”

“West Roswell High, home of the Mighty Comets,” Tess says, her voice dripping with disdain.

“You don’t like it there?” Hell if she doesn’t like it there, I’m never going to make it.

“It’s a-ite,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “You just have to find cool people to hang out with.”

Well in that case, seeing as how much of a loser I am, how am I supposed to find cool people? I’m never going to get along at this school. Might as well label me a geek and get it over with.

“I’ll show you around,” Tess said nonchalantly. “What kind of classes did you take at your old school?”

I have two options. Tell her I’m a dork now, or wait until she found out for herself tomorrow. Insert sigh. I might as well be straight with the girl. “I’ve got all advanced level classes.”

“Which ones?” Tess looked up from her magazine.

I started listing them off in my head. “AP Chemistry, AP US History, AP English III, AP Calculus AB and BC, those kinds of classes.” And this is where she laughs at me and calls me a nerd. And frankly, I don’t care. I accept it. I know I’m a nerd. And if you think about it, wouldn’t you rather be a nerd than a bimbo blonde?

Tess scrunched up her nose, “Aren’t you… fourteen?”

“Sixteen,” I correct her, focusing back on my drawing.

“Oh,” she says, nodding her head. “Cool. Then you’ll probably have a few classes with me. Well, chemistry. I’m not all that great at writing, or dates, or math. But I’m a genius in chemistry. You’ll like our teacher. He’s cool. He’s a coach so he’s pretty lenient. You can fail all the tests but as long as you turn in your lab book, you’ll make an ‘A’.”

Wait… Tess is in advanced placement chemistry? Tess is a brain too? I never would have thought. Well, I guess you really can’t judge a book by its cover. I guess my observing skills are a little rusty. I’ll need to practice a little more. “So… does this guy really care how the lab write-up is done?”

“Nah,” Tess said, shaking her head. “No one actually does it anyway. Everyone just copies off of Evans.”

“Evans?” This person must be good. Wonder if this person’s a complete dork too. Probably is. Yay… a fellow nerdish scientist… someone who loves the smell of chemicals and the way they react. Just like me.

“Yeah. Evans, the smartest freaking person in the entire school. I swear, he’s like a robot or something. It’s just not plausible for someone to be that smart. Everyone copies off of him in every class. You’ll probably end up in a lot of his classes. If you give him five dollars, he’ll do you’re homework for you.”

“So… what’s he like? Dorkish?” I asked, pretending to concentrate on my doodling again. Which is funny because I don’t even know what the hell it is I’m drawing.

“Nah,” she shook her head. “Not at all. Just really… quiet. Really shy. I don’t remember him ever talking more than three words at a time. Or ever speaking any louder than a whisper. Keeps to himself. Sits alone at lunch in the quad under his tree. We donned it the ‘tree of knowledge’.”

“Does he not have any friends?” I tilt my pencil and start shading the sketchpad, but I’m looking up at Tess.

“He could have friends. He could probably rule the whole goddamn school. Total hottie. But he’s not what you would call… sociable. It doesn’t ever stop the cheerleaders from trying to get down his pants though, namely Pam Troy. Huge slut and one hell of a bitch. Steer clear of her.”

You ever notice just how much Tess talks once you get her to start? She’s probably jammed pack with information and is just waiting to spill it all to someone. Lucky me.

Tess leaned over her bed and slid the magazine under it. “Ready for bed?” she gets under her sheets. I nod my head, still finishing up shading my drawing. I finally stop and put the pencil down through the wire binding of the sketchpad, standing up to turn off the lamp before heading off to bed.

Once I was about to click off the lamp, I finally look at my picture. Guess what I drew. Go ahead. Guess. Take a wild guess. Yup. You guessed it. An onion. A goddamn fucking onion with it’s freaking layers. Grr…


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[ edited 2 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 7:51:00 PM ]
posted on 1-Mar-2002 3:05:53 PM by LiLEvEe
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[ edited 2 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 7:51:30 PM ]
posted on 2-Mar-2002 2:10:33 AM by LiLEvEe



[ edited 3 time(s), last at 7-Jun-2002 2:56:34 AM ]
posted on 2-Mar-2002 10:12:24 PM by LiLEvEe
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Chapter Three



Morning here was a pretty hectic scene. How the orphanage is set up, there are two stories. All of the rooms are set up on the second story, which is split up into four hallways, two for boys and two for girls. Those hallways are then split up by age, younger and older. And there is only one large bathroom to each hallway.

Can you imagine what its like? All the adults are busy getting all the kids ready. And all the rest of us who can dress ourselves are all forced to share one bathroom. A gazillion girls, cramming into one bathroom to beautify themselves in the morning, applying their make-up, brushing out their hair, etc. all in there before the sun even rose. Sigh. What some girls do for beauty.

However, it is now 7:35. And me? I’m still in bed. And so is Tess. Despite the fact that school starts at 8:00. Or that everyone else on the floor is up and at ‘em. Chatting away as they got themselves ready. While I’m trying my best to stay asleep for as much longer as I can. That is, until I felt something thrown at me.

I open my eyes and Tess is standing there beside my bed. I glance at her and then glance at the clock. It’s 7:40.

“Don’t you want to get ready for school?” She asks me while she grabs a few things and starts heading out the door. That’s the great thing about not giving a shit. It takes you less than five minutes to get ready in the morning.

So I get up out of bed, grab my bag of stuff and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. Then I head back into the room, change into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and I’m good to go. And apparently, Tess also agrees with my morning routines except she puts in two extra minutes to add on a little make-up while I use those two minutes to make my bed. I’m a neat freak, all right? Just accept it and let it go.

We get the choice to catch the bus to school, or walk. Tess opted to walk. She also decided for me that I would too. Dictating my life.

She explained her reasoning, either walk the short distance or be crammed in a seat with a bunch other people, possibly having to sit next to people such as Sean and his group. I agreed with her completely. So West Roswell High School, on the outside, looked like any normal high school. But on the inside, it really was like any normal high school.

You might think that I’m going to take this opportunity to change my life around and start a new, right? Be the Liz that everyone wants me to be. Conquer all evil and speak my mind. Especially with Tess helping me out around the campus, right?

Wrong! Utterly, utterly wrong. First of all. Tess doesn’t help me out. Nope. Well, other than the fact that she shows me where the main office is and then ditches me. So much for her. Insert sigh. I walk into the office and head straight for the lady behind the desk.

“Excuse me,” my voice comes out soft and childlike. So much for speaking my mind. “Um… excuse me,” I repeat. And this lady, you know what she does? She glares at me. I was so completely sweet and nice to her so far and the lady glares at me and goes back to shuffling through papers on her desk.

I’m debating on what to do in my head. I can raise my voice even louder at the lady and glare back. Or I can just stand here and wait until it is more convenient for her to help me out. Decisions, decisions. Hmmm…

Let’s opt for sweet. Sweet is always good. People like when others are sweet. So here I go, smiling shyly and talking softly again. “Excuse me. I’m new here and…”

“Could you just wait a second?” the lady interrupts me.

Nope. I’m not going to get mad. I just smile at her and nod my head politely. I shuffle my feet a little, and lean slightly against the counter. I pick up my hand and lean my head on my elbow on the counter. And then with my other hand, I knock softly twice, just out of boredom.

The lady looks up at me, narrowing her eyes and I just smile sweetly at her. She goes back to the paperwork on her desk and I glare at the top of her head and smile wickedly. And I start tapping my fingers on the counter, as annoyingly as possible.

She looks up, glaring at me again, but I have a sweet smile on my face, just looking at her. She rolls her eyes at me and goes back to her paperwork and I start my tapping again.

She gets up out of her chair with a huff. “Fine. What is it you want?” She asked, storming towards me.

I smile. I’ve never actually intentionally gotten someone angry with me before. Normally I always do what ever it is I was told. This is the first time I actually got someone annoyed. See how much I’m growing? Go me!! “Hi,” I have a huge smile on my face and my voice is the perkiest it’s ever been. “I’m new here and I was wondering where I can get a copy of my schedule.”

She rolls her eyes at me. “Name?”

“Elizabeth Philips,” I give her a hundred watt smile.

She just rolls her eyes again and flips through some papers before shaking her head. “I don’t have transfer forms for an Elizabeth Philips. I do, however, have an Elizabeth Parker.”

“Oh… yeah,” I nod my head. “Elizabeth Parker. That’s what I meant.” Amy had explained to me that my name was still Parker. And that they would have it changed back if I wanted it to stay Philips, since I wasn’t going to stay with the Parkers. But I stuck with Parker. Hey, P-A- comes before P-H- in the alphabet. That’s just skipping me up a few spaces to get my diploma.

The lady at the desk hands me my packet of papers with a bright smile. “Here you go, sweetie,” she says in a singsong voice. Sweetie? Where the hell did that come from? I look around and noticed that a man just walked into the office. A really, really tall man who walked past the desk and into one of the rooms inside, probably his office.

Once the door closes, the lady then glares at me again. “Go to class.” She tells me in a superior tone of voice. I scoff inwardly. But outwardly, I have a shy smile on my face as I walk away. Damn. I just got here and already hate it so far. Aren’t faculty supposed to be positive people? And aren’t secretaries supposed to be helpful?

The hallways were empty. The bell had rung while I was still in the office. I glance down at the papers in my hands. At the very top of the stack is my schedule. I skim down it. It wasn’t any different from my schedule at my old school other than the order it was in.

I look across the top line that read: 1 AP US HIST LORENZ C134

So apparently, the first class I had was AP US History. Sigh. Not exactly my cup of tea. History has never been my favorite subject. All the years and dates and dead guys get all mixed up in my head.

I look around in the hallways. Where the hell am I supposed to start looking for the classroom? I go straight until I reach an intersection. I can either go straight, go left, of go right. Left was not an option, because it wasn’t a hallway really but an entrance to something. Probably the auditorium or something.

I go right. This short hallway only has two classrooms. One of the doors says 118 on it. I am off. You’re probably waiting for someone to come to my rescue and give me some clue as to where this class is. Possibly schizophrenic boy. But no, you’re wrong again. When people see other people, lost in the hallway at school, they ignore them and walk away. That’s high school for ya.

So I just keep walking, glancing up at doorways every now and then until I finally find one hall that is in the 130’s. I walk around and turn a corner and finally find C134. I got it figured out. On some of the walls, they have these letters that say C-Hall or B-Hall etc. And these halls aren’t actually halls. They are more of blocks. I completely understood it. Totally. That was exactly why it only took me half and hour to figure it out.

I knock on the classroom door and lower my head. This is it. If I want to change myself in any way, I have to do it now. To be Liz or to not be Liz…


--------------


So, I knocked on the door and waited a few seconds. Through the window, I saw a kid, tall and lanky, walking towards me to open the door from the inside. I step aside as he pushes the door open. Okay, deep breath and walk into the classroom. Here goes nothing.

I follow the guy in. He goes back to take his seat and I walk towards the teacher, who is seated behind a podium at the front of the classroom. She’s kind of… well… overweight, obese. No wonder the kid opened the door for her. It’s probably hard for her to get up. No. Bad Liz. It’s not nice to judge people with disorders. Whether it be obesity or schizophrenia.

“You must be our new student,” she reaches her hand out for me to shake.

“Elizabeth Philips,” I shake her hand, nod my head and smile shyly at her. So much for being different. Yup. The shy and quiet Liz is here to stay.

“That’s strange,” she picks up a piece of paper off her podium. “It says here that you’re Elizabeth Parker.”

“Oh, yeah. Parker. Elizabeth Parker,” I nod my head and smile shyly again.

“Well, it’s good to have you Elizabeth,” the teacher smiles warmly at me and I smile back. “Do you go by Elizabeth or do you go by Liz or some other nickname?”

“Liz is fine,” Why am I talking so softly? Well, it’s not like I need to talk loud, the entire class is quiet and staring at me, like they’ve never seen a new kid before. I start fidgeting nervously. I have mentioned to you that I dislike attention right? Yeah, thought so.

“Well, Liz. Welcome to Advanced Placement US History, or as we like to call it. APUSH,” the teacher waved her hands around the room of students. APUSH, that’s what it’s called. It’s pronounced, A, as in A-hole. And PUSH, as in PUSH to open. Put them together: APUSH.

“Why don’t you find a table and take a seat then, Liz? And we can get started,” She smiles again and I smile back, again, before I turn around and try to find a seat. I hate trying to find a seat. Unlike most people, I secretly like it when teachers assign seats for you. That way I’m ‘forced’ to sit there, instead of picking my own seat and defining myself as a member of a certain group of people. Well, actually, normally I just sit by myself but there aren’t any empty tables.

I look around and see a blonde girl waving at me. It’s that one girl, from the diner, Amy’s daughter, Maria. She’s signaling for me to take the seat next to her. So I make my way over to her and sit in the empty seat, putting my bag down on the floor.

“Hey, Liz, right?” she says to me once I look up.

I nod. “Maria, right?” I say quietly to her.

She nods. “I didn’t think you were a junior too,” she says.

I nod shyly and smile slightly. I bet you didn’t.

“And this,” she pointed to the tall and lanky boy from earlier, “is Alex.” Alex nods his head and waves at me. I smile at him. “He’s Mrs. Lorenz’s bitch,” Maria added at a whisper at me. My eyes widen at him.

“Hey,” Alex gets defensive. “How did I go from being a teacher’s pet to being her bitch?”

Maria rolls her eyes. “Since you started coming after school to become her …personal …little …computer …geek. Her bitch.” Maria added a small smile. And me? I’m really starting to like Maria. She isn’t all that… bubbly… like I thought she’d be. But then, I’ve only spent a few minutes with her.

There’s a knock on the door and Alex jumps out of his seat and rushes to get the door. “Total bitch,” Maria mutters while shaking her head. Inwardly, I’m laughing my ass off. Outwardly, I smile slightly and pick up a packet from the middle of the table and start reading.

“Sorry I’m late, Mrs. Lorenz.”

Wait a minute. I know that voice. I look up from my reading.

“That’s all right, Max. Just take a seat,” Mrs. Lorenz smiles at him.

I turn towards him with a smile on my face, expecting him to look at me and smirk or do something equally cocky. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t even notice me as he walks past to sit at a table in the back by himself.

What the hell? That table wasn’t empty a second ago. Or else I would have claimed it. Well, fuck a duck. Just as I figured. He’s probably some cool jock, captain of the football team, ruler of the school. And whatever roaches were sitting there earlier probably scattered and made room as soon as the light shining from their king came on.

“That’s so fucked up,” Maria whispers to me. “I was late two minutes last week because of a flat tire in the rain and she gives me detention, and Max comes in without an excuse, when class is almost over and she lets it slide.” Maria glares at Max and then rolls her eyes. “I swear, he’s got the whole goddamn school doing everything and anything he wants.”

“Don’t mind her,” Alex says to me, referring to Maria. “She’s just jealous. Max is actually a really nice guy.” He nods his head for emphasis.

Yup, no need for you to tell me, Alex, old chap. I know exactly how nice Max is. So nice, he’s got me thinking about him every damn second and staying up drawing layers and walls and shit.

“Yeah. Max’s great,” she says sarcastically. “Absolutely great. So damn great that the whole cheerleading squad would fuck him in an instant. And I’m pretty sure Pam Troy would even go as far as to tie him down and rape the poor guy.”

Wait a minute… cheerleaders? Pam Troy? Didn’t I hear about them before…


--------------


“Liz… Liz?”

“Huh?” My head shoots up at the voice.

And Alex is standing there smiling at me. “Are you okay?”

“Uh… yeah… of course,” I nod my head enthusiastically and use the perkiest voice I could muster, which is a pretty damn good one if I do say so myself.

“Oh, ‘cus you just kind of zoned there. The bell already rang,” he pointed around to the empty classroom.

“Oh.” I blush a little and gather my things. And that’s my lame-o answer to still being here. How could I have not heard the bell ring? And you’d think I would notice if the entire class got up to leave, seeing as how I sit right near the door. Stupid, stupid me.

“So… ugh… what class do you have next?” Alex, who is apparently walking with me in the hallway, says.

I look down at my paper. “Well… um… calculus.”

I look up and there’s a huge smile on his face. “With Mrs. Byrne?” I look down at the paper again and nod my head at him.

And just when I thought his smile couldn’t get any bigger, it spreads and takes up, pretty much, half of his face. “Me too. I’ll walk you there.”

I just nod my head while he directs me to the next class, trying my best not to get run into by anyone. That’s the thing about being short, no one sees you. So they always walk right into you. And that’s also the thing about not being popular too. No one wants to see you, so they run into you and they expect you to not be in their way when they are, in actuality, in your way. Grr… Let’s not get into it now.

This is actually a new thing for me. I’ve never had anyone walk me to class before. It’s actually kind of nice, especially when you walk with a tall person. People tend to see them more than they do me. And Alex is quite the tall person.

We would have probably chit-chatted a little on our way to class, but the class was pretty much down the hall and around the corner, so there wasn’t much time anyway. But we were the first ones in class. So Alex sat down in a seat and motioned for me to take the one behind him.

“So,” he starts up the conversation, I was never one to start the talking. I guess he picked up on that. “How’d you like APUSH so far?”

“It’s okay, I guess,” I say quietly and smile at him. You’d think I’d be at least a little more comfortable around him. After all, he did walk me to class and started talking with me and all, but I can’t just be myself, well not myself, but my somewhat more talkative version of me, not yet. See, with Tess, it was easy. Tess is a messed up person in herself. But Alex, he’s the all around good guy. It’s harder.

“The class is pretty hard, but you’ll get it,” he winks at me. He’s so cheerful and friendly.

Sigh. Might as well try and reciprocate some of his friendliness. It wouldn’t hurt would it? “So, are you really Mrs.’s Lorenz’s bitch?”

You can tell that he’s surprised by my question. His eyes go wide and all. Bet he didn’t expect that to come out of my mouth. Bet he expected me to be quiet little Liz too. But then, so had I. I don’t even know why I asked that. I had planned on asking him if calculus was hard. But if it came out, it must have been meant to be said, right? Providence and all.

Alex chuckles at me a little while shaking his head. “Well, yeah, I guess. If you go by Maria’s standards, anyway.”

I just laugh with him. Note, with him, not at him. Because what kind of guy admits to being a bitch. You just have to laugh. I think I’m going to get along with Alex just fine.

“But then again, Maria’s a little… judgmental about everyone,” Alex said, shaking his head again.

I smile and nod my head. “Max, right?”

Alex nods his head. “Yeah. Don’t get too scared of him. The guy isn’t that bad as Maria makes him out to be. But the cheerleaders, on the other hand, are.”

“They really are?” my eyes go wide. “I thought she was just kidding.”

“Nope,” Alex says, shaking his head. “Maria wasn’t kidding. They’re willing to jump his bones any day of the week.”

Damn it. And my little schizophrenic boy was actually just starting to intrigue me. I guess I’ll just have to move on to some other mentally disordered freak. I mean, it figures anyways. How can someone that good looking as Max, not get laid by every bubbling blonde in the school. “Yup. I bet he’s just stock full of STD’s.”

“No,” my head shoots up at Alex’s comment. Apparently, I had said that last statement out loud. “They’re willing, but he isn’t. Not that I know everything there is to know about him, but that’s just what people say. That, and he isn’t really the type to do things like that. Well, that’s my opinion.” Alex just shrugs his shoulders.

Hmm… a guy that isn’t susceptible to bimbo blondes’ charms. A guy who actually doesn’t want to have an orgy with the entire cheerleading squad. Interesting… “So, is Max… gay?”

“Hey,” Alex defends Max. “Although it may be every guy’s dream, but when given the chance, he doesn’t actually have his way with the cheerleading squad.”

“Oh, he wouldn’t?” I ask, raising my eyebrows at him. Just as I thought. Max is gay. Completely fruity in the booty. That would explain why he dresses nice too. Damn. I wonder if he knows Paul.

“No. In fact, I, on behalf of all the guys who don’t completely think with their dicks all the time, would gladly tell you, no, we don’t always want the girls with the biggest boobs or the shortest skirts. We look at other qualities in girls too.”

You just can’t help but smile at Alex’s comment. Especially when you are just that. I have no boobs and I don’t wear skirts. “So, if given the chance, you wouldn’t do it with one of the members of the cheerleading squad, even if they approached you?”

Alex shakes his head. “I am proud to say that I wouldn’t.”

“Except if it was the fine Miss Isabella,” this guy says, sitting down in the seat in front of Alex.

Alex rolled his eyes. “Hey, Isabel is no longer on the cheerleading squad, dumbass. She quit.” Alex says with a smirk on his face.

Damn. And if good boy Alex here is smitten by one of those bubbly ‘spirit leaders’, every guy is. And Max is gay.

“Hey, you must be new here. Kyle Valenti,” that guy reaches his hand back for me to shake. He has a letter jacket on, football patches all over it. He must be a jock. Thus, probably one of Max’s lackeys. I wonder if he knows that Max is gay.

I shake his hand and smile at him. “Liz.” My voice comes out soft and childlike once again. Damn. I have to work on that.

“Liz…” Kyle is waiting for me to finish.

“Liz.” I state for him.

“Just Liz?” there’s a small teasing smile on his face.

“Just Liz.” I bite back at him, but I restrain what annoyance I could, though a little of it slipped out.

“All right, Just Liz.” He laughs at himself. “Welcome to West Roswell High School. Home of the Mighty Comets.” He strikes a pose, flexing a few muscles, apparently proud that he’s a ‘Mighty Comet’.

I smile and nod my thank you. Inwardly, I’m scoffing at the guy. ‘Mighty Comet’ my ass. Mighty Mouse could probably take this guy down. Hell, Mickey Mouse could probably do it.

The bell rings and the door closes as the teacher comes walking in. She sits at her seat next to the overhead at the front of the classroom and skims over the people while taking roll.

She looks over at me. “Why, hello. You must be new. Come on up here.”

I grab my things and stand up with a sigh. Here we go again…


--------------


Calculus was pretty much a breeze seeing as how I didn’t understand a single thing I was doing. But according to the teacher, who is in serious need of a makeup artist to show her just how to apply eye-shadow, integral substitution is a cinch. Sure it is lady, if you’ve been teaching it for over a hundred years. Goddamnit, it should be prohibited by law somewhere for someone to abuse makeup the way she does. It’s just… eww…

But apparently I understand way more than the other kids do, because she has offered me an invitation to join some math group of hers. Alex says to take it and that you’re as good as gold for an ‘A’ in this class if you are a member of her elitist Mathematics Crime Fighting Team. Only the best of the best get an invite, according to Alex. So I should be flattered. Yup, flattered that I’ve been at this school for less than two hours and am already categorized as a dorky dweeby nerd. Completely flattered.

Any who… my next class for the day was English. I actually like English. I enjoy debating about what dead guys were thinking when they wrote their pieces of fine literature. It’s cool because you can’t be wrong as long as you can back up your thinking. Unless you are completely brain dead, which I wouldn’t put it past a few people to be.

I didn’t have anyone to walk me to class or show me where it was this time. Alex probably would have shown me, but I had to stay after a little to talk to Byrne, where she wanted give me all the paperwork to join her little club, but we’ve already gone through that stuff.

I didn’t have a hard time finding my class this time though. It was just down the hall and around a corner. Pretty easy if I do say so myself. I found it so quickly that I happen to be one of the only people in the room at the time. Only me and one other person. Can’t you just guess who it is? Go ahead. Guess. All right. I’ll tell you. It’s the schizophrenic Adonis, himself. That’s right ladies and gentlemen. Mr. Max. Wow. The jock actually has another AP class. Amazing, and here I thought all football players were dumb.

I walk over to him, set my things down on the table and take the seat in front of him. He looks up from his book and looks at me, his eyes widen a little and then he covers his face back up with the book. And I sit there with a smile on my face the whole time, wondering what the hell is up with this guy. Maybe he’s not one to strike up a conversation either. I mean, popular people aren’t always social.

“Hey Max.” I semi-wave at him. He doesn’t even look up from his book, but you can hear a short muffled ‘hey’ coming from him. What is with this guy? I’m actually liking the adorably cocky bastard that hit on me in the restaurant a lot better than this. Oh. I get it. Maybe he’s figured that I already found out that he’s gay. No. He probably thinks he’s so up there… so high and mighty, that he doesn’t think it’d go good with his reputation to talk to me. Well, then. In that case, two can play at that game.

Hell, I can pretend to be high and mighty too. I can be the bitchiest of the bitches. It’s not like it would hurt my rep right? Seeing as how I don’t have one. Grr… Who am I kidding, I couldn’t be a bitch if I was paid to. I’m just too… polite. I could never…

“Excuse me, you’re in my seat!” I hear some bitch barking from behind me. I slowly turn around and glare at her. Yup, just as I thought, a five foot five, buxomous blonde, donned in a skimpy cheerleading outfit. Just my luck.

I get up and pushed my things to the seat beside Max. But another blonde bimbo grabs the seat. “Taken,” she glares at me. And I glare back before I roll my eyes and try for the seat diagonal to Max, and as you have it, yet another cheerleader shows up. “Taken.”

Goddamn. What the hell is this? Some kind of ditzy blonde cheerleading factory they’ve got going now? I bet these three were cloned from the same sheep. I pick up my bag to move to another table. When I stand up from my chair, not a split second later, one of the cheerleaders plops down in it and the other two take their seats as well. And once they are all situated, they turn to Max, “Hi Maxie-poo.”

I can’t believe they all had enough brainpower to manage to say it all in unison. I would have applauded had I not been scoffing at the time. I mean, actually scoffing. So much that all three girls turn to me and give me the death glare. Not that I care what any of them think, except for Max, who gave me a smile, but he quickly covered it up when they all turned back around.

“Do we not get a ‘hi’, Max?” the girl who took my seat tilted her head and pouted her lip at him. I rolled my eyes. Max sighed and turned to each one of them, nodding his head at them as he said each one of their names. “Pam, Isabel, Courtney.”

Wait a minute. Isabel. Didn’t Isabel quit the cheerleading team?

“I’m so glad you joined the squad again, Isabel. We never would be able to do our routine without you,” squeaked blondie number three, or as Max had called her, Courtney. So I guess that answered my question.

“So, Max,” Pam chirps up. She leans forward on the table, leaning on one of her arms and using it to push her boobs up, as if they weren’t big enough. And you can see Max’s eyes do a quick glance down at her cleavage. Damn. Forget the gay thing. “Are you doing anything Friday?”

“Studying,” Max says, sticking his nose back in his book.

“Wouldn’t you rather spend Friday night snuggled up with me than with a boring book?” her lips pout even more, if that were even possible. And Max suddenly drops his book, his head pops up and his eyes go wide as he stares across the table at her.

His face goes red and suddenly pushes away from the table, picks his book back up and mutters. “Pam, please, don’t.”

And I start cracking up laughing. You’re probably wondering what happened there. With my supernatural powers of deduction, as well as my view to the entire thing, I have figured that Pam had started playing footsie with Max under the table. But in order to get Max to turn beet red like he did, she was probably playing footsie with… let’s just say… another area of his body other than his feet, if you get my drift. And the funniest part, she was turned flat down.

Pam, as well as the other bimbos, seeing how they are apparently her lackeys, turn around and glare at me again. “Haven’t you left yet?”

I grab my bag, muttering to them. “Damn, sheesh. All that fake hair die getting to you?”

They all glare again. “I wouldn’t know.” She huffs and turns back around, taking out their makeup compacts and powdering their noses.

And while they are busy doing this, Max is silently snickering at my joke and looks up at me. He gives me a semi-wave with a smirk as he mouths the words ‘hi Liz’. My name is rolling off his tongue. I just turn away from him with a sigh and find a seat at another table. When I look back at him, he has his nose back in the book trying to read as Pam tries to make passes at him. Damn… what is with this guy?


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[ edited 2 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 7:53:06 PM ]
posted on 3-Mar-2002 8:42:59 PM by LiLEvEe



[ edited 3 time(s), last at 7-Jun-2002 2:57:26 AM ]
posted on 5-Mar-2002 7:08:04 PM by LiLEvEe



[ edited 1 time(s), last at 7-Jun-2002 2:58:25 AM ]
posted on 9-Mar-2002 1:38:24 PM by LiLEvEe



[ edited 3 time(s), last at 7-Jun-2002 2:59:03 AM ]
posted on 10-Mar-2002 5:55:34 PM by LiLEvEe



[ edited 3 time(s), last at 7-Jun-2002 2:59:40 AM ]
posted on 11-Mar-2002 5:09:44 AM by LiLEvEe
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Chapter Four



Although I thought English was one of my better subjects, the class actually sucked, big time. First of all, the teacher, Mr. Manor or Coach Manor, he used to be a tennis coach, but because of health problems, was forced to stop coaching, is retiring after this year. He also just loves to listen to himself talk because I swear that’s all he did all period, about off hand subjects too. And also refers to himself as a bear. He calls himself Eric “Bear” Manor. Isn’t that just great? And he has bear posters all over the walls of his room. Bear things, and tennis things. Bear posters, bear statues, stuffed bears. Tennis trophies, tennis magazines, tennis rackets, and tennis balls. They are even incorporated. A stuffed bear, holding a tennis racket and tennis ball. Who would have thought?

And he also tells weird and fucked up elephant jokes. Like get this one, how do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. Duh. Now, how do you kill a pink elephant? With a pink elephant gun? Wrong-o. You hold its nose until it turns blue and then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Hahahaha… I actually thought that one was kind of clever, but none of the rest of the class did, so I kept my laughter to myself. Yup, that’s me. I just love to conform.

Come lunch time, I had yet to make any new acquaintances, so I just followed everyone else out to the snack machines and such. I got a small bottle of water from the coke machine. Aren’t they nifty? Fifty cents and you get this little bottle of water. They are so small and cute. With just enough water in them for you to finish in the allotted time they provide for you to scarf food down in these public education facilities.

Any whoo… after grabbing my nifty little bottle, I head out to an outside area where everyone was seated in small groups, some on tables, some in the grass, eating their lunches. So I have so many options. I can go introduce myself into a group. I can look around for anyone I know, like Maria, Alex, or even Kyle. Or I can sit by myself. I opt for the latter, since I just love solitude.

Oh look, even more options. Sit on a table, sit on a bench, sit on the grass? And if I sit on the grass, to sit in the sun or to not sit in the sun? Sit near a tree, or not sit near a tree? Oh the choices. I plop myself down on the ground, leaning next to an unoccupied tree as I twist open my nifty little water bottle.

“You’re sitting at my tree.”

I lifted my head up slowly, starting at the feet and sizing up this guy, who apparently thinks he owns this here tree. Ugly shoes, way too baggy pants, tacky shirt, and top it all off with the most hideous hair I have ever seen. Along with a glaring and angrily brooding face. Just as I thought. This guy has issues. Meaning, like with Tess, I can be my fucked up self as well.

“I’m sorry. I hadn’t realized this tree was reserved for people in serious need of haircuts.” I give him a sweet smile, tilting my head to the side a bit.

The glare remains on his face and he is totally unaffected by my comment whatsoever. “You are sitting at my tree.”

“Said Cousin It.” Still, no response at all. Completely indifferent. This guy is fun.

“You’re sitting at my tree.” He repeats for the third time.

“Don’t mind him. He’s just being an ass.” Maria pops out of no-where and sits down beside me with an open bag of cheese puffs. She pops a few in her mouth and then offers me some.

“No, thank you,” I say politely while I shake my head. I have a pretty good theory as to where the supposed cheese from those things come from. Remind me to tell you someday.

“Deluca.” The thing speaks.

“Get lost, Guerin.” She shoves a few more cheese puffs in her mouth.

He sits down on the ground, the three of us forming a somewhat circle. Maria looks pointedly at him.

He just shrugs his shoulders. “My tree.”

“Suit yourself.” Maria shrugs her shoulders too. Then looks at me, pointing to the guy next to her. “Meet Michael Guerin, freak boy himself. This is Liz.” She points to me.

I give him a wary smile and he doesn’t even acknowledge my presence.

“So,” Maria breaks the silence between us. “Michael, I hear your sister joined the bimbo squad again.”

Michael just shrugs his shoulder and pulls a sketchbook out of his bag, a pencil out of his pocket and starts doodling away. So completely closed off in his own little world.

Wait a minute. Michael’s sister just rejoined the ‘I-love-prancing-around-in-short-skirts-so-guys-can-stare-at-my-ass’ squad? Isabel is Michael’s sister? How is that possible? They don’t look a thing alike. They are both completely different people. That is just so… weird. Genetics just isn’t like it used to be. Stupid pea-pods and the stupid cross breeding and monks with nothing better to do and… Grrr…

You know, biology, the yellow peas and the green peas with the cross breeding and such… never mind. Anyways, I tune back into the conversation at hand just in time to hear Maria bicker about someone else.

“…and he thinks he’s so great, just sitting there and reading his book. Why doesn’t he eat during lunch like normal people?” She glances quickly at Michael, who is still busy doodling away at his sketchpad, and who has yet to take out a scrap of food. “My point exactly.”

I just inwardly snicker. This girl will find anything to get angry at, just for the hell of getting angry.

“See,” she starts back up again. “And there go the cheerleaders, right on cue. Cheap blonde bimbo whores…”

“Didn’t you used to be one?” Michael speaks up and finally lifts his head to gauge Maria’s reaction.

She glances at him, and then at me, and then at him again before she lowers her head and starts muttering under her breath. You can make out some of the words. Somewhere along the lines of freaked up hippie artists with long hair and wishing she had scissors and shit. I just keep laughing, inwardly of course. Maria is a riot.

“Oh my god…” Maria says simply. Both Michael and I look at her and then at each other. You’d expect her to mutter something other than just that, but that was it. So both of us turn to look at what amazing thing that got Maria dumbfounded. And damn, it was definitely something that would get everyone quiet.

Follow the dotted line from Maria’s eyes to across the way to the center of the quad, where Pam has Max pushed up against his tree, her tongue probably jabbed far down in his throat. All three of us, as well as everyone else eating lunch, just stare at them, not sure exactly what to think of this. Then, Max pushes her away, gags and it’s as though he were spitting, wipes his mouth on his sleeve, glares at her, and then picks up his bag and stalks off.

“Wow.” Maria finally speaks up, nodding her head. “The bitch actually stooped that low. She ought to know better than to try and actually seduce Max. Why couldn’t she just go back to fucking the football team? I mean, it’s just not possible to get to that guy. He’s probably vowed celibacy or some shit. Too goddamn smart to have any time to think with his balls. How else would he be able to fit in doing everyone’s homework? Oh, that’s right Liz,” she looks over at me. “If you’re ever lagging on the homework department, just give it to Max to do, any subject, five dollars. Homework help too, just pay a visit to the Tree of Knowledge.” She makes little invisible quotation marks with her fingers.

“What?” Where the hell have I heard this before?

Michael makes a face. “Ever watch Recess?”

I nod my head. Everyone watches Recess. It’s the coolest cartoon ever.

“Well, Evans, there, is like the Gretchen Guru Kid of West Roswell High.” He explains to me.

Wait. What? Evans? I though we were talking about Max…


--------------



So… I learned a whole lot during lunch. First of all, I found me my new spot. You know, my claimed territory. The one area you sit at forever until you get bored of it, or until anthills start forming there, either way. And I have claimed my territory at that tree. Michael, be damned.

Secondly, I love Maria. You just can’t get tired of that girl. She’s got her own set of issues and problems. And I just love issues. Or at least, people with issues. I don’t like issues themselves. And definitely not ones that deal with me. But I don’t have issues. I just like others that have them. They add spunk to life. They make me feel less insane. As if I was insane to begin with.

Any who… thirdly, Michael is in serious need of a haircut. It’s just… eww. Guys with long and ungroomed hair just… freak me out. Even long hair freaks me out. Damn, even Fabio’s fully groomed hair is just so… girly… oh god… eww. Now if it was more like onion-boy’s, a little long, but not too long, bangs curling at his forehead a little…

Okay… the main and most important thing I found. Max is Evans. Evans is Max. Now that is just screwy. Max Evans. Or Evans Max. But then, that’s just weird. So, Max is not the jock and king of the school like I thought he was. He is Tess’s super quiet, super smart, and super hot, cheerleader magnet. Well, he’s not Tess’s but… you know what I mean.

Max is Mr. Quiet-I-Don’t-Speak-Over-Three-Words Super-Genius. And although I am saying this, it’s not actually registering in my head. I guess it’s because I don’t fully associate the two together.

I mean, according to Tess and Maria, Max is so quiet and so smart, and so impenetrable by seductive enticements of the female sex everywhere. But my Max was so arrogant, so cocky, so Mr. Suave, with the I-know-you-want-me-and-think-I’m-hot smirk on his face. Damn schizophrenia boy… Grrr…

So… after lunch, Michael walked me to class. Shocker to everyone. Lower those eyebrows and close that mouth. The walking talking mullet didn’t actually ‘walk me’, per say. See, Maria had a look at my schedule and pointed out that Michael had AP Chemistry next period, too. Michael just shrugged, threw his backpack over his shoulder and walked off to class. And here I am, following, three steps behind him.

It’s not all that bad. Better than looking like a freshman on the first day of high school, lost and looking for the right room number. Nope, that’s not me. I’m a junior, lost and looking for the right room number, damnit.

But Michael knows I’m following him. And he’s probably snickering inside his head. You know how I know? He’s gone in a complete circle. The fucking bastard. As if I’m dumb enough not to know that four right turns brings me back to the same spot I was before. Fuck him.

I see Tess entering a room. Look up, and yup, 202. My spot. Bye-bye Mikey-boy. Hehe… he’ll probably walk around one more time before noticing that I’m not following anymore. Dumb-ass hippie.

“Hello,” one of the teachers standing out in the hallway says to me. There are two of them. Both are male. Both are growing bald. Only one is extremely tall and the other is a little taller than me, thus, he is incredibly short. One has white hair, the other has brown.

And thanks to my super-duper telekinetic power, I deduced that the chemistry teacher is the tall, white haired, bald dude. Well, thanks to my super brain power, and the fact that his name tag says Schierling, as does my schedule. Yay Liz.

“Hi, I’m new here,” shy smile. Tuck hair nervously behind the ear and slightly ducked head. Sigh. It’s just impossible to change. You just can’t get away from yourself. It’s probably going to take me years and years of this ‘talking’ and ‘confidence’ concept before I start getting the hang of it.

“Oh, you must be Elizabeth,” I smile and nod my head and he shakes my hand. I’m trying to politely look at him while he’s talking to me, but it’s just so hard. He’s just so damn tall. “Welcome to West Roswell High. How do you like it so far?”

I take step slightly to the side so that other people, who can’t seem to go by me without bumping into me, even though I’m not really in the way, namely Michael, whose reason is probably because his hair is taking up half of the hallway that he can’t help but run into me, can enter into the classroom.

I nod my head and smile slightly, “it’s nice.” I smile at him. He smiles at me. And we’re just smiling. Bunches and bunches of smiles. And I really just want to go into the class, like everyone else that’s passed me on their way in.

“Well, that’s good.” He turns away from me and says something to the other bald teacher guy again. And I stand there, not sure if I am supposed to leave or what. Suddenly, I feel a pat on my ass and I jump. I quickly turn my head and see… Max, innocently making his way to his seat. He isn’t letting on that anything happened so I figured it was probably an accident. But as soon as he’s settled in his little quiet corner, he looks at me out of the corner of his eyes, giving me a small smirk. What the hell just happened here?


--------------


Chemistry was rather interesting. Well, at least I thought so. Okay, first of all, the lab stations are the weirdest ones I have ever seen in my life. It’s just this one huge lab table in the shape of an H. So basically, its four lab tables, connected together by a long cabinet table. You just have to see it. It’s weird. But it’s pretty cool. Each ‘table’ has a sink and gas, cabinets and stools.

And the teacher’s desk, as well as a few classroom computers, are at the front of the classroom. There is a door connecting the classroom next door with ours. Why? I don’t know. Because the two bald teachers don’t talk enough in the hallways?

There is also another door next to the door out of the classroom, it opens up to a really large closet, holding all the supplies and stuff. And safety goggles, aprons, ordinary supplies that we use in labs, like beakers, Bunsen burners, and such, are all located in the back of the room.

The fume hood is in the corner of the room next to the teacher’s desk and a large sink to clean glassware and such is next to it. There’s an overhead in front of the teacher’s desk and a large television as well.

All of the tables are full with two people stationed at each, one with three. Except for Max’s table of course. He’s sitting by himself. My lucky day. This ought to be fun. I’m about to walk over to him and his table in the corner of the room, but the teacher calls out to me.

“Umm… Elizabeth, why don’t you sit…” he glances around the room. I don’t see why. There’s only one empty spot, and that’s next to Max. “Why don’t you pull a stool up next to Michael. I glance over at Michael. He didn’t even acknowledge that someone had said his name. But Tess is also sitting at his table, so I walk over to Max’s table and grabbed the extra stool, his eyes remained on the table top. I pull the stool up to the table, sitting next to Tess and put my things down.

“So, welcome to AP Chemistry II,” she says to me. “You are now a member of the ‘I don’t give a shit’ table’. This is Michael.” She points to him.

“We’ve met.” I said and give him a nod, which is a universal ‘what’s up’. He doesn’t even look up from his sketchbook.

Tess points to the table in front of us. “Ass-kissers table.” Then points to the table diagonal, “Snoozers table.” And then points to the table besides us, “Smart people table.”

I smile. “Why is it called the smart ‘people’ table, if only Max sits there?”

Tess shrugs. “That’s all the smart people there are in this class.”

I just smile. “Well, there aren’t that many people in this class to begin with.”

“There were,” Michael spoke, barely audible, and his eyes remained glued to his sketchbook. “Damn cheerleaders.”

I look over at Tess with raised eyebrows, waiting for her to explain.

“Well,” Tess starts, “This class used to be jammed packed with members of the blonde bimbo brigade, which isn’t odd seeing as how the cheerleading magnet signed up for this class.” She tilts her head in Max’s direction.

I glance around the room again. Not a short skirt or tight halter top in sight. “Where are they now?”

“They all dropped it,” Tess said with a smile. “One of the labs we did, way back when, went incredibly wrong. Apparently when you mix a few wrong chemicals together, they can create a pretty lethal stink bomb.” Michael snickered at her comment.

“Anyway.” Tess continued. “The stench got stuck in their hair and clothes and they all had a hissy fit and swore off entering the classroom again. So Coach Shierling forced them all to get a schedule change if they weren’t going to participate.”

I nod my head. “So what do we do in this class?”

“Nothing,” Tess says, and then she suddenly puts the pencil she’s holding down. “Hey, Max.” she calls to him. “Say hi to Liz, she’s new.”

Max looks up towards us and waves his hand nervously. “Hi Liz.” He focuses his attention back onto his table top, unzipping his backpack and going through it.

“Hey, Max,” Tess called out again. “How was your day today?”

“It was good,” he said warily and them focused back onto his backpack.

Tess slumps forward in her stool and Michael snickers at her. “Give it up, Tess. You aren’t going to get him to do it.”

“Do what?” I ask with a smile.

“Say more than three words,” Tess said, shaking her head.

“I’ve heard him say more than three words,” I say and both of them just look at me.

“Three consecutive words, Liz.” I’m surprised Michael knew such a big word as consecutive, but I don’t actually say anything.

So I nod my head. “Yeah. He says more than three words in a row to me. He’s said a lot more than three words in a row to me.”

And they just stare at me. “What has he said?” Tess asks.

“Um…” I try to think off the top of my head but it’s just not coming. “Plenty.”

“Maybe it’s because you’re new and he just forgot that he doesn’t say more than three words to anyone.” Tess quirks her lips, thinking.

“No,” I shake my head. “He’s said more than three words to Mrs. Lorenz this morning. ‘Sorry-I’m-Late-Mrs. Lorenz’. I count off the words.

“Doesn’t count.” Michael spoke up. “Teacher. You can’t go without saying more than just three words to them without failing.”

“Mrs. Deluca,” I smiled, remembering back. “He said good afternoon to Mrs. Deluca.”

Tess smiles. “Liz, dear, good afternoon is only two words, four syllables.”

I roll my eyes and count off the words. “Good-Afternoon-Mrs.-Deluca. See? Four words.”

Tess shakes her head. “Three. Mrs. Deluca is basically one word.”

“It’s two words,” I disagree with her.

“It’s one,” Michael backs up Tess. Damn it.

“Fine,” I relent, “but he’s still said more than three words to me.”

Tess shakes her head. “Prove it. I want to hear him.”

I look over to the front of the classroom where Coach Shierling is still seated behind his computer at his desk, where he’s been since class started. Damn, they really don’t do anything in this class. I stand up and walk over to Max’s table. I will prove them wrong.

“Hi Max,” I smile at him as I lean onto the table.

“Hi Liz,” he doesn’t even look at me.

“So, how’s it going?” Okay. I’m determined to get him to say more than three words, but I’m not quite sure how. Sigh. Peer pressure. It always forces you to do things without thinking them through.

“I’m fine.” He nods his head.

“Well, my day has been pretty cool so far,” I try to lead him into a conversation.

“Really? How so?” He looks up at me. And I count in my head. Only three. Damn it.

“Well, I saw you during lunch.” Max blushes and ducks his head a little. “I thought that was a… site.”

Max just shakes his head. “Those damn cheerleaders.”

“What, you don’t like being attacked by a rabid animal in a short skirt.”

“Only by you,” he whispered to me. He looks me up and down and smirks. And I’m wondering if anyone else sees this. But apparently they don’t. Since he’s faced away from everyone else. The only people likely of noticing are on the Snoozers table. But you can guess what they’re doing.

“I don’t wear skirts,” I shake my head.

“You could,” he wiggles his eyebrows at me.

I lean closer to him. “So if I attacked you, it’d be okay?”

“If it’s you,” he smirks again and I’m wondering if conjunctions count as one word or two.

“It’s one word,” Max smiles at me.

Wait. What? Wait. “What?”

He smiles again. “It’s one word.”

“Huh?” What is he talking about?

“Conjunctions are one,” he holds up one finger for me to see.

How did he hear me? “Did I say that out loud?”

Max shook his head. “No.”

“Then how do you know what I’m thinking?” I eye him warily.

He shrugs his shoulders. “Special brain power.”

I roll my eyes and stand up straight. “Can I ask you something?”

“Ask away,” he smiles again. His smiles are just so… nice. They brighten up his face and everything else around. No wonder the cheerleaders all want him. His smiles make me feel this… I don’t know.

We aren’t going into that right now. We’ll just think about it later. Right now, we have other things to do. “Why don’t you ever say more than three words to people?”

He shrugs his shoulders again. “I don’t know.”

“But you have said more than three words to me,” I point out to him.

He leans closer to me, whispering. “You’re special, Liz.”

And my face just brightens. “How so?”

He shrugs again. “You’re different.”

I look at him, lifting an eyebrow, “Good different or bad different?”

He smirks again. “I don’t know.” He pulls a book out of his backpack and busies himself reading and I walk back to Tess and Michael.

“So?” Tess asks as I sit down in my stool.

And I shake my head frowning. “Are conjunctions one word or two?”

“One,” Michael says, not even stopping from working on his sketch.

“Darn it…” I sigh.

Tess shakes her head. “He might as well be mute. How can he go by without talking to people?”

I shrug my shoulders. “He’s got a nice smile though.”

Michael drops his pencil and him and Tess are staring at me in awe. “He smiled at you?”


-------------------------------------------------




[ edited 2 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 7:55:50 PM ]
posted on 17-Mar-2002 6:14:58 PM by LiLEvEe



[ edited 1 time(s), last at 7-Jun-2002 3:00:40 AM ]
posted on 18-Mar-2002 3:05:01 AM by LiLEvEe



[ edited 3 time(s), last at 7-Jun-2002 3:01:02 AM ]
posted on 20-Mar-2002 12:48:23 AM by LiLEvEe



[ edited 3 time(s), last at 7-Jun-2002 3:01:54 AM ]
posted on 20-Mar-2002 7:26:22 PM by LiLEvEe
>>No worries. I have no intention of crossing Kara. Never in my mind would I imagine that. And since there is a good demand for it, I guess I will working on a Max POV of this story soon. Well, after I get more of this story developed of course.

Okay, the deal with this story is that I have this one chapter all typed up and ready, only that it doesn't fit in yet. So I know where I am and I know where I want to get it, but the inbetween in what is getting to me right now.

I may not be able to update again this week either. Essay tomorrow, Test on Friday, Book to read on Saturday, and Sunday school to teach on Sunday... sheesh... and they say that teens have nothing better to spend their time on.

I can't find enough time to get anything done. I suppose it's because I spend so much time typing fanfictions... hehe... But I can't help it if I love it so much. I'm an addict. I spend hours upon hours just typing away at the computer. I even lose a great great amount of sleep over it. Just proves even more that I'm an addict. But then, so is everyone else.

I'm glad everyone is enjoying my story too. You don't know just how special it makes me feel. Especially when I get lots and lots of FEEDBACK. Hint Hint. Hehe... anyway... I was supposed to say something. Oh, I'm so proud of the chapter I have typed up. I like it. It reveals Max's and Liz's deal thingy what ever it is. And I can't wait until I can get to it. If only I could get to it.

But then there just isn't much motivation for me anymore. Maybe if I get more FEEDBACK. Hint hint again. Well, I hope you continue to read my fictions and thank you everyone. Special thatnks to Eraser Room, EccentricOne and Mermaidgirl. I love reading your FEEDBACKS because they are longer than everyone else's... hint hint. So... tell me anything...
posted on 24-Mar-2002 1:17:59 AM by LiLEvEe
-------------------------------------------------


Chapter Five



My last period of the day was boring as hell. Health with some coach who was probably only teaching the subject because they were either short teachers and they forced him to or he finds the subjects dealing with health so damn interesting and just seems to hide it very well. Something told me it wasn’t the latter.

Any who… I pretty much slept through the class. No biggie. I doubt its anything I need to know. It’s not like such issues dealing with mental health, disorders, and diseases are anything I need to concern myself with. It’s not like I’m weird or anything… oh wait… hehe… I am.

I’m not just saying that either. Really, I am WEIRD… strange… odd… peculiar… take your pick. It isn’t just my opinion either. Hell, it’s all I ever heard during my life…


“Elizabeth, it’s summer,” he puts his hands on his hips and looks at me as though I’ve grown a second head.

I look at him with a smile as I nod my head. “I know, dad.”

“Why are you wearing a jacket?” he points to my sweater.

I just shrug and smile. “I don’t know. I just want to.”

He shakes his head in disbelief and just laughs at me. “You’re so weird, Lizzie.” He ruffles my hair and pulls me into a big hug. “You’re the oddest child that ever lived. No wonder your mom left…”



You see? That was when I was seven. When my mom first left on her oh-too frequent little vacations by herself because she was so ‘stressed out from life’. Don’t get me wrong. That was one of the best memories I have with my father. He’s a great guy. He really is. He never meant anything by what he said. He didn’t realize what he said hurt. He was only kidding with me. Really.

But my mother on the other hand… Sigh. I don’t want to get into it now. It only gets me depressed more. Not that I’m depressed or anything. Just… not happy. But then who is actually ever happy? What is happy anyway? Is it bliss? Is it being an airheaded bleach blonde without a care in the world? Or is it to be able to overly care? Can you overly care about something? Would I ever be overly cared about? Will anyone ever care about me? Will I ever be happy? Is that even possible?

Grr… why is it that one question seems to just lead to about a dozen more? See what I’m talking about? Damn it. Moving on now…

Come the end of the school day I wasn’t all too sure on what to do. I couldn’t find Tess anywhere. Or any other kids from the orphanage for that matter. What am I supposed to do? Walk back to my new temporary home? Or do I get a little time to explore first? Because if I could, I thought that I might go check out the Crashdown again. You know? Stake out the business? See what all I am inheriting.

Which reminds me. Mrs. Deluca told me to call her after school today. I should do that. Right away. I mean… it could be important. My mom could have left me the million dollars I was hoping for. Or even better, Mrs. Deluca can tell me, “Surprise. It was all just a joke. Your mom didn’t die. Your dad isn’t rotting away in jail. Your life isn’t screwed up and you aren’t being forced to live with complete strangers. It was all just a joke. A sick and demented joke.”

But that’s all my life is. Some demented joke. But I had prayed and I had wished so hard for them to pop out and say that everything wasn’t the way it was. That I really had a picture perfect family with a little house and a picket fence. It’s all I want, God. I don’t even want lots of money or the shiny cars or any of those materialistic, unnecessary things. I just want my little house and my little picket fence. I know, that’s materialistic in itself, but it’s not really the house and the picket fence I want. It’s the idea behind them. The normalcy and the stability and the loving family…

So by the time I had walked back to the orphanage, I was almost already in tears, hurrying off to my room, well, mine and Tess’s room, I drop down on the bed, pulling the covers over me and burying my head into my pillow. God, and I thought today was going to be a good day. Me and my goddamn mood swings. Now there is something to talk about in Health class. I should just volunteer and let them probe my mind and behavior so they can see, first hand, what low self-esteem and mental disorders are like. That way, all of the perfect and normal little boys and girls know what not to do.

I’m just full of self-hate aren’t I? I mean, I should look at the bright side. Be fucking optimistic for once, Ph-Park-Elizabeth; like I said, last names are overrated. And life is not all as bad as I’m making it out to be. I mean I could be off starving in some third world country. Or I could be living in a time period when toilets weren’t invented yet. Or, worse yet, I could be artificial and blonde ditz and be a part of the bitch squad like Pam Troy and her mindless look-at-my-ass-as-I-bend-over dronies. I shudder at the thought. Never in hell will that happen.

I mean… plenty of teachers say that I have potential, that I’m smart, and very gifted. And not only that, I’m ‘special’ and ‘different’. Whatever the hell that means. Damn that Evans. Him and his stupid ambiguous words. They have two different meanings, just like his personality. Damn him.

I’m still deep in conversation with my mind when a knock on the door is heard before it slowly opens. And in walks Mrs. Deluca.

“Hey, Elizabeth. Am I waking you?” she talks in a whisper and slowly comes in, shutting the door behind her.

I shake my head no and sit up. She takes a seat on Tess’s bed. “I thought you were going to call me.”

I glance over at the clock. Damn, it’s been three hours since school was let out. I’ve been talking to myself for that long? I guess they were right when they say time flies by. “I guess I didn’t notice the time.” My pathetic excuse for an apology. But she doesn’t seem to mind.

“How have you been?”

“I’m good,” I offer her a small smile. It’s all I seem to be offering lately.

“How was your first day? You know, if you still need more time, you can take off from school for a few days…”

“No, I’m good.” I interrupt her. “I’m fine.” And everyone else in the world is probably kicking me for giving up the opportunity to miss school. But in fact, I like school. Yes, you heard right. Elizabeth is a huge dweeb who likes… and I repeat… likes to go to school. Everyone does, no matter how much they deny it. School is your safe little haven away from the world. It’s what makes you still a kid and makes it acceptable for you to make mistakes, because you haven’t fully grown up yet… I don’t know. I don’t make sense a lot of the time.

“Well, any time you think you need a break…” she says, I can tell she’s concerned for me. Well, I am too, but I just nod my head. “All right then. We’ve talked about your situation with your relative and the custody rights, right?” Again I nod my head and she continues. “Well, he’s still deciding over the situation. We’re not sure yet on him. But I do have a few foster homes lined up for you to stay at. That way you can get out of this orphanage and live in a normal house until we get further notice.”

Normal? That’s laughable. I am anything but normal. Who wants normal, average? I sure as hell don’t. I am just a walking ball of contradictions. Didn’t I, just a second ago, want stability? Isn’t stability normalcy? Sigh. I just nod my head obediently. “Thank you, Mrs. Deluca.”

“I’ve been talking to the Whitman’s, the people who owned The Crashdown with your mother.” I nod my head at her again. “They would like to take you in if you want. Or I can set up another foster home location.”

“I don’t… I don’t care.” My voice comes out so soft. “I don’t want to be a hassle to anyone or anything…”

“Elizabeth, you aren’t a hassle. Honestly, you aren’t. You are a really good and sweet girl. Heck, I’d take you in if they would let me.” I look up and there is honesty in her eyes. She smiles at me and I smile back. “So, do you want to meet the Whitman’s first, maybe see what they are like?”

I smile, genuinely. I’ve always liked Mrs. Deluca. “Sure.”

“Let’s go then. I’m a bit hungry anyway.” She stands up from the bed and adjusts her purse on her shoulder as I slip on my shoes and pull my hair back as I follow her, the smile still on my face.

It’s funny these mood swings of mine…


--------------


You know those moments that sort of just… hit you. When realizations just somewhat come rushing towards you all at once, startling the hell out of you? That is exactly what was keeping me standing outside, my hand on the door of the entrance to the food that my stomach so desperately wanted. But I stayed rooted to the floor because, for some reason, it was all crashing down on me.

I’m here to move into a new home. I’m here to meet my new family. Well, a foster family. A foster home. A temporary home. But a home, nonetheless. And still, I’m about to change my life once again and be forced to live with another group of complete strangers.

When that realization was over, I stopped myself. What the hell am I thinking? My whole world isn’t shattering just because I have to pack up my bags one more time. It’s just a normal and everyday thing in the life of Elizabeth.

Can you just feel the love? I can’t, because right now, my stomach is growling like crazy and I am not one to deny myself. So I step inside and into the world of alien frenzy. Mrs. Deluca is already seated in a booth. I stagger over and smile at her.

“What took you so long, Elizabeth?” she asks, genuinely concerned.

“I’m sorry,” just listen to me apologize as I slip into the booth. “I was kind of stuck out there for a second.”

“Stuck?” Mrs. Deluca’s eyebrows do that up thing that people do when they either don’t believe you, or they are trying to question you further. I think she was trying to do both.

“Stuck in gum?” a voice calls out from the booth behind us, completely cutting into out conversation. Oh dear God. Didn’t he know not to butt into other people’s conversations? But then again, that’s what he is. A butt. A total and complete ass.

Why the hell he seems to pop up when he isn’t wanted, is beyond me. And whatever it is your thinking, stop. I know who you’re hoping for it to be. Hell, I know who I am hoping for it to be. But this guy, is not him. Far from being him, in fact.

“Well, I haven’t seen you in a while, Sean,” Mrs. Deluca says to him with a smile on her face. “How have you been?”

“I’m good, Mrs. Deluca. Never been better,” he says to her, but his eyes are glued on me, giving me that look. And I just can’t help but shudder in revulsion. Sickening. It should be against the law for guys like him to look at helpless and innocent girls that way.

“That’s good,” Mrs. Deluca says, the smile still on her face. “Well, me and Elizabeth are here to get a small bite to eat. Would you like to join us Sean?”

Lordy Lord. Please tell me she didn’t just invite him to eat with us. Please say no. Please say no. Please say no… No such luck.

“I’d love to Mrs. Deluca,” he has the sick grin on his face, still looking at me.

Instantly, I stiffen and shift a bit, trying to take up as much space as possible and pray to God that he won’t choose to sit in the seat next to me. Sit next to Mrs. Deluca. Please to God, sit next to Mrs. Deluca.

Again, no such luck. Despite my tense stance and all of the ‘back-off’ vibes I was sending out to him. He wormed his way into my side of the booth, rubbing up next to me as he squeezed in.

Eww… I have never felt more violated in my life. I swear, if he tries anything, I will not hesitate to dump my drink on the bastard.

“Welcome to the Crashdown Café, can I take your order?” Maria comes up to our table with an extra chippery smile on her face. She looks at Sean with a scowl and then turns to me with a sympathetic smile. Well, at least it’s comforting to know that everyone of the female species seems to despise Sean, not just me. Oh, and Tess too.

“I think I’ll have the Space Invader Salad and an iced tea,” Mrs. Deluca folded her menu and handed it to Maria.

Maria jotted the order down on her little order pad. “Remember the deal for eating here, mom.”

“Yeah, I know,” Mrs. Deluca sighed out. “Twenty percent tip it is.”

“We agreed on fifty,” Maria said, giving her a look. “That’s it. I’m not serving you.”

“Fine,” Mrs. Deluca conceded. “Fifty. But only because you look so cute in those antennas.”

“Mom,” Maria whined.

“Fine,” Mrs. Deluca holds her hands up in defeat. “You kids go ahead and order. I’m going to go talk to the Whitman’s. I’ll be right back,” she says, getting up from the booth.

“So, what will you have?” she asks, turning in my direction.

Sean folded his menu. “I’ll have…”

“Excuse me,” Maria interrupted him. “I was asking Liz.”

I can’t even stop my snickering. That’s right dipstick. Ladies first. I smile at Maria and hand her my menu. “I’ll have a cherry coke.”

“That’s it?” She raises her eyebrows. She must have gotten that habit from Mrs. Deluca.

I just nod my head and she frowns at me. I guess somewhere between my realization outside and my now icky dilemma of Sean being next to me, I lost my appetite. “I’ll bring you out an order of Saturn Rings, on the house.” I smile my thanks before she spins on her heels and walks away.

“Hey, Deluca. My order?” Sean calls out to her, but Maria continues to just ignore him. Have I told you how much I love Maria?

“So Lizzie. I guess it’s just you and me,” he leans back and drapes his arm over the back of the seat. How the hell do I always get into these evil situations? That’s it. God has it in for me. I bet he does. It’s probably all that swearing I do all the time. He’s probably taken a peek into my head and decided that I am the spawn of Satan. Damn these evil thoughts of mine. Damn them all to hell.

“You feel like going to see a movie after this, babe?” he gives me a lazy smirk. Oh hell no.

“Actually…” I start to tell him off, I really do, but then Maria shows up with our drinks. Well, my drink anyway.

“Anything else you want, Liz?” She gives me a smile.

I shake my head. “No, thank you.”

Sean sits up. “Yeah, I’ll have a…”

“All right, if that’s it,” Maria turns back around and walks away again.

Sean just brushed it off. “So, Liz. How about we get to know each other a little better?”

“Actually, Sean. I… um… I have to go to the bathroom,” I try to muster a smile. I know it is the gayest excuse in the world. And I know, everyone was just waiting for me to tell the guy off. Hell, I was even expecting myself to, but I guess I figured that the guy just wasn’t worth it or something. Well, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

“Sean, I have to go to the bathroom,” I repeat. I hate repeating myself. It’s like hearing the same damn song on the radio too many times, just so damn annoying.

“I’m not stopping you,” he smirks and leans back. Oh, hell no. The fucking bastard does not expect me to climb over his lap. No way. No way in hell.

“What are you so scared of, Liz? I don’t bite… hard,” he smirks again and reaches out to twirl a piece of my hair around his finger.

I should stop him. I really should. But I’m kind of frozen and stuck. And I just let him do whatever he wants. Why the hell am I not stopping him? Why can’t I move?

He lifts his finger and traces it along the side of my cheek and down to my chin. The move made me shudder, and yet I still can’t stop him.

“So you want to leave Liz?” He whispers into my ear. “Say yes.” And to my utter dismay, I can actually feel my head shake up and down. He grabs my hand and starts tugging me out of the booth. And I feel myself standing up and following him out, despite the fact that I’m screaming at my legs to stop and my hand to let go. It’s like I had no control over my body, whatsoever.

And it’s scaring me shitless. Oh, God. Please. Someone help. Why isn’t Maria coming to check up on us? Why hasn’t Mrs. Deluca come back yet? Why haven’t I been able to stop myself yet?

Oh, God. This is not good. Not good. Definitely not good. If I’m not controlling my body, then who is? And why can’t I fucking control my own body? Is my brain stem severed or some shit like that?

And who the hell knows what Sean is up to. Or what he’s planning on… Oh God. Please, no. But despite my attempts to yell or squirm, I can’t do either. I’m like a puppet. A puppet that Sean has managed to pull out of the door and into the parking lot. Past the parking lot, and into an alley.

Make it stop. Please make it stop. Please, tell me this is a dream. A really fucked up dream. He lets go of my hand and pushes me up against the side of the building.

“You’re a really pretty girl, Lizzie. Really pretty.” I can feel a hand on my face and another around my waist. “I like pretty girls.”

Please, make it stop. I want to push him away. I want to cuss him out, spit in his face and kick him wear it hurts most, but I can’t. God, I can’t even blink anymore. What the hell is happening to me?


--------------


And if only the gods in heaven could hear me now, their ears would be ringing from my piercing screams. That was, if I could force my mouth to open. It’s not really the being pushed up against the building part that bothers me. No, it’s the being pushed up against the building by Sean that’s leaving me panicky. Added to the fact that I can’t even force my arms to push him away, or that I can’t even move at all, and it’s scaring the shit out of me and just adding to my distress.

God damn it, where the hell is my knight in shining armor now? Isn’t there some written code or law that someone is supposed to burst in right now and save me from the horrible and wretched creature? Oh, wait. That only happens in fairytales. And if I haven’t learned anything yet, it’s that my life is no fucking fairytale.

“Let her go.” The deep voice comes from my left, near the entrance of the alley. Well, fuck a duck. There is a God, after all. I know that voice. It’s music to my ears. I want to run over to him. I want to yell out for him to save me. Hell, I want to just be able to look at him, but I can’t even do that.

Sean slowly turns to the voice and takes a small step towards him, successfully dropping me the few inches off the ground that he had me pinned up against the side of the building.

The evil bastard smirks. “And if I don’t, Evans?”

“You’ll regret it.” I can hear Max’s shoes clicking on the concrete as he walks forward, but I still can’t see him yet.

However, I can still see Sean, no matter how hard I wish for him to just go away. And Sean’s still smirking at Max. “There’s nothing you can do, Evans.”

Max takes a few steps closer, now in my peripheral vision. He stands a few feet away from Sean, staring him down. “I’m claiming her.” Max glances over at me and offers me a smile. And I swear, that boy could probably get away with murder with that smile of his.

Sean laughs. An evil ugly laugh. “No can do, Evans. Tess already called her.”

“Tess called her?” Max takes a quick glance at me.

“Yeah. The bitch beat me to it.” Sean’s voice comes out. Ughh… why won’t he just go away?

“Then, she’s Tess’s.” Max stated. What is it with these people? It’s as if I’m some kind of property they can just throw around.

“Your point being, Evans?” Sean starts walking closer towards me but Max stops him, standing in the way. And now, I have a pretty damn good view of Max’s back side. And Max has also blocked Sean from my view. Two bonuses for me. Hooray! And damn. If I had not noticed before, Max has got one nice ass.

“Out of my way, Evans.” Ughh… too bad he couldn’t block Sean’s voice out too.

I can see the back of Max’s head go from side to side. “She’s not yours.”

“She ain’t yours either.” I’m guessing Sean is on his tippy toes or something because I can see his head bobbing next to Max’s, trying to stand taller.

Max just crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m calling rank.”

“You can’t.” Sean disappears behind Max once again. No more tippy toes.

“Just watch me.” Can’t you just feel the smirk on Max’s face?

“What the hell do you want with her? I thought you were fucking Pam.” Wait. Back the train up. He’s comparing me to Pam Troy. Miss Primpy-Cheerleader I-Want-To-Sexually-Assault-You Pam Troy? What the fuck?

Apparently Max is thinking the same thing because you can see his shoulders get all tense. “You were mistaken.” ooo… Max’s voice is all tough and ruthless. I bet you Sean’s shaking in his boots as we speak.

“Fine. Sorry. But what do you want her for. She’s nothing.” And if I could move right now, I would kick Sean in the balls. Honest to God. I’ll show him nothing.

Max’s shoulders go up as he shrugs and glances back at me with that cocky smile of his. “I like brunettes.” And am I swooning? I believe I am. Oh, dear God. The way he looked at me when he said it. Damn. And for once in my life, I’m actually liking my hair color.

“Fine. She’s too damn frigid anyway.” I see Sean walking off to my left, and I can only guess which direction he went, seeing as how I still can’t turn my head yet.

Max watches him walk out and then he turns to me. I want to walk over to him, to thank him, to kiss him senseless, to do anything, but all that I’m able to do is stare. Not intentionally, it’s just that my body won’t move. And it’s pissing me off.

“Hey Liz,” he says, all the roughness from when he talked to Sean gone from his voice. Can he tell that I can’t speak? That I can’t move? That I can’t do anything? Does he know what’s going on with me?

“Come here,” his voice is only a whisper. I want to go to you, Max. I really do. But I can’t. And I’m just praying that he can see the distress in my eyes. He waits for me to move, and when I don’t, he motions for me to come forward with his hand. And magically, I do.

He reaches out for me and I can feel his fingertips lightly grazing across my arm, even though I can’t see it. It sends sparks through me. I can practically feel the electrical currents running between us.

He takes a step closer to me, so that we’re only mere inches away from each other. He runs his other hand through my hair, pushing it back behind my shoulders. “Close your eyes.” He whispers into my ear. And I do. Max is controlling me, now. Or at least, that’s what it feels like.

I can feel his touch tracing over my lips and my heartbeat speeds up. It’s getting harder to breath. His touch moves down my chin, my throat, shoulder, and down my arm again. I can hear him whispering to me. “You’re not frigid. You feel plenty soft to me, Liz.”

“Max.” Wait a minute. Was that my voice? My eyes fly open and I stare at him. “I can talk.”

“And what? You couldn’t before?” he smirks at me.

I just shake my head. “No. I couldn’t. Something happened and I couldn’t move.”

“Oh. So that’s what happened.” His hand runs through my hair again and comes to rest at my neck. “That explains why you were here with Sean. I didn’t think you wanted to be with him. Did you?” I can feel his hands start to massage my neck.

“Nuh uh,” I tilt my head to the side to give him better access. Mmm… this feels good.

Max’s other hand starts running up and down my other arm. “Did he hurt you?”

“Nuh uh.” I open my eyes and his body is suddenly very close to mine. Very, very close. Not that I’m complaining.

“Are you sure?” His hand on my neck stops as he brings it up to lightly trace my bottom lip.

“I-I’m fine.” How I managed to get my voice to work is beyond me. I suddenly lick my lips and my tongue brushes against his thumb. Oh God, when did I start doing things like that?

Max lets his thumb trace over my bottom lip one more time before he starts leaning in, tilting his head to the side. I close my eyes and part my lips slightly, waiting. But my hands seem to have a mind of their own as they come up to his chest, stopping him. Great. When I was with Sean, I couldn’t stop myself. But when I’m with Max, I’m able to push him away. Just great.

I open my eyes and look at him. He’s staring back at me, his face a few inches away. Fine. I might as well. “Explain first.”

He backs away from me. “Explain what?”

Oh, joy. He’s going to play dumb. “Do I look that stupid?”

“There’s nothing to know.” He shrugs his shoulders and takes a step back. I don’t think he’ll be in the mood to kiss me any time soon. So I might as well go on with it.

“There’s plenty to know. Like what all the hell just happened a while a go.” I look at him expectantly and he just shrugs again. And now I’m getting angry. He’s just being so damn passive that its… Grrr….

Okay. Calm down. “All right. Let’s start with why I couldn’t move back there.”

Again, the shrug. It’s a pretty damn cute shrug coming from him, but it gets very irritating. Especially if you are already pissed off. “Why the hell couldn’t I move, Evans!?!”

Max takes a step back and flinches at my tone and I inwardly pat myself on the back. Hehe… take that.

“Why are you asking me, Parker? Why don’t you go and ask Sean? But then again, I get the feeling that you don’t want to be around him right now.” He smirks.

Damn him. Damn him to hell. “Fine. What’s with that rank thing you were talking about? And about claiming me?”

“Rank?” I think he’s nervous. His voice did the fluttery thing that most voices do when they are nervous.

“Yes, rank. One where you are apparently higher than Sean on.” I take a step closer to him, just to show that I’m not backing down.

“School rank.” He kind of blurted out.

“What? School rank? Like class rank?” What the hell is he talking about?

“Yeah.” He’s smiling now.

“But I thought Sean’s a senior. Aren’t seniors higher than juniors?” See? I’m not all that stupid. I know these things.

“Oh, yeah.” His face kind of falls. And I think he went back to being nervous again.

I kind of feel sorry for interrogating him like this, especially if it’s making him nervous. But I need to know. And if he keeps lying to me. “So. Rank. Like grade point average rank?”

“I-I guess.” Stuttering and running his hand through his hair. Total giveaways. He’s lying. Why is he lying? Is it like some kind of cult or something? Or is it a lets-keep-Liz-in-the-dark kind of thing?

“Right. So you are telling me that the 4.0 GPA nerds rule over the big bad football playing jockstraps?” Not likely, Evans.

“I guess not.” His face falls again.

If he wasn’t just so darn cute. “Okay. I’m going to let you think about that some more. Now, what is this about claiming me?”

Again, the shrug. “People higher in rank can get to claim others.”

I’m confused. “Claim? Like to be a part of their group? But I thought Tess said that she was able to claim me because there was like a social rank in the orphanage.”

“That’s it.” He was nodding his head, very enthusiastically, if you ask me. Definite giveaway that he’s lying.

“But that’s only in the orphanage. How were you able to claim me, Max?”

“I… I-um… I…” fidgeting, stuttering, and swallowing way too many times. More giveaways. I bet he probably couldn’t tell a lie if is life depended on it.

“Is there like some kind of social rank between the guys too?”

“Yes. That’s it.” He nods his head again. Tisk tisk. Someone ought to teach this boy how to keep a straight face.

“So how do they determine this guy ranking, who’s got the biggest dick?” Rake my eyes up and down his body. Hehe… that ought to keep that smirk off his face for a while.

His eyes do a little bulge thing, but he recovers quicker than I thought he would. And there’s a smirk on his face. “And what if I told you that that’s exactly how we rank?”

And I can practically feel my skin go red. Damn him. That comment was supposed to make him get embarrassed, not me. “Right. Anyways. What’s with your three word thing?” A nice change of subject is always good.

Again the shrug. Ughh… what is with this guy? What is it about him that makes me so… Grr…

I hear him chuckling and lift my head to look at him. I guess my mind kind of wandered there but he’s suddenly leaning in closer to me again. “What are you thinking about, Liz?” His hand finds that spot on my neck.

Oh God. When did things suddenly start heating up again? This isn’t good. Definitely not good. “I… um… I-I should go. Mrs. Deluca is probably… um… waiting for me.”

There’s a smirk on his face. “Do you really want to go, Liz?” Damn it! How did his voice just get so… sexy?

Close the eyes. Take a deep breath. And gain control. “I should…”

“Okay.” His thumb traces my bottom lip one more time before he moves his hand up and covers my eyes and forehead. What the hell is he doing? I try to pull his hand away, but he holds on and suddenly my mind goes blank. I see a bright white light, and then blackness…



“Liz… Liz…” I can feel someone shaking me, hands on my shoulders.

I open my eyes slowly, squinting to adjust to the light, and I see Max. “Max?” Wait, what am I doing with Max. I look around to find myself in a parking lot.

“You scared me.” He stands me up and I’m still trying to think.

“What happened?” My head is spinning. What exactly did happen here?

“You fainted.” He’s rubbing my back as I’m trying to stop the spinning.

Did I faint? I rack my brain to try to think. I remember walking home from school. Mrs. Deluca coming to visit. Going with her to the Crashdown. And then it gets blurry. Seeing Max on the way in to the diner. Offering to walk him to his car while Mrs. Deluca got a booth. And getting dizzy. I guess I did. But that doesn’t seem right. It seems too… fuzzy. “Are you sure that’s what happened, Max?”

He nodded his head. “You should go.” He points to the Crashdown and at the booth where Mrs. Deluca is seated. His other arm is still around me, holding me up and helping me to the front door of the Crashdown.

“Thanks, Max. I can take it from here.” I stand, somewhat wobbly at first, but I manage to stabilize myself.

“Are you sure?” His hand is still stretched out, ready to catch me if I fall, I guess.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks again. Bye, Max.” I wave to him and head into the Crashdown and go straight to the booth where Mrs. Deluca is waiting.

“What took you so long, Elizabeth?” she asks, genuinely concerned, a smile on her face.

“I’m sorry,” I apologize as I slip into the booth. “I was kind of stuck out there for a second…”


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[ edited 2 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 7:57:54 PM ]
posted on 24-Mar-2002 11:08:31 AM by LiLEvEe
*~*~* Author’s Note *~*~*

Thank you everyone for the FEEDBACK. It’s very much appreciated. I know, I haven’t been keeping up my usual routine of almost daily updates, but I’m trying my best. School had just gotten the better of me and with AP tests coming up and the SAT… whoo… it’s been hard. But I did get in an update for The Denial Game and for Accept the Challenge. I stayed up to 2:30 in the morning to do it too, just for ya’ll (Proud Texan). So feel loved. Anyhoo, part six for Harvest Moon is in the making right now. So hopefully I can get it out soon. I hope. On a good note. My spring break is coming. Yay! It starts this Friday. I get off for Good Friday and all of next week. But, unfortunately, that means that all this week will be bogged down with tests and homework and things. Why teachers do this, is beyond me. Anyhoo, I’m sorry but I will not be able to write any this week, or at least I don’t think I will be able to. I’ve been falling behind in my classes and my grades are dropping, so I need to focus more. Oh, and guess what? I’m number 4 in my class. Go me! Well, not really seeing how I dropped from 2. Damn those freakin smart people. And there’s nothing I can really do about it because all of those people ahead of me are my friends… Grrrr… So that’s my reason and I’m sticking to it. I’m even going to go as far as to ban myself from getting online starting Monday. Which will be pretty hard to do since my computer is in my room, the same room I lock myself away in as soon as I get home. Sigh. I might, and that’s a might, add in updates to Accept the Challenge though, just because it is my first fanfiction and I want to get it over with already. I have the entire rest of the story played out in my mind and I just need to get it all out. But then, I get to vent a lot of stress and anger when I write The Denial Game… and that helps when you have a brother like mine who just loves to push me into lockers and walls in school. Which isn’t that bad because next year he’ll be gone to college and I’ll be able to drive myself to school. So I don’t know. And this is a hell of a long short author’s note, so I will be ending it now. Oh, again, same one for all three, but I will be answering feedbacks to each from my last post, so you might want to check those out. Peace!

posted on 24-Mar-2002 11:36:47 AM by LiLEvEe
To answer the FEEDBACK:

Eraser Room – Thanks for the feedback. I love getting feedback from you most. And don’t worry, with how this story is, you can’t stop from having that in there since everyone is so unbelieving of Liz.
ILYMEFOREVER – Sorry I had such a minimum of Max in there, but I thought Liz just needed to vent, without Max. But he’ll be there soon yet. Thanks for the feedback.
Ice Rose – I’m glad you like my story. And yea, I always thought Maria’s mom was the coolest and weirdest mom too. Thanks for the feedback!
Apathygirl666 – Welcome and thanks for reading my story. I’m glad you like it.
Eccentric One – Thank you for your feedback. You always leave long feedbacks and I love it. There is that option for putting Max and Liz under the same roof, but I don’t think I want to go with it. I’m not sure why. Oh, and about the ‘game’, I know that title is The Denial Game, but it’s not an actual game, game. It’s more mental. I don’t know. My titles never make sense. Just look at Accept the Challenge. Thank you for your other feedbacks too. And your ideas. They gave me a lot of incentive, so thanks.
angelbaby6977 – Thanks. You’re welcome. And Thank you for reading it.
Rapunzel – thanks for the feedback. Yea, the Whitmans MIGHT take her in, but I don’t know yet. I know, some people are disappointed that she won’t be moving in with Max, but I’ll try my best.
roswellluver – thanks for reading and thank you for the feedback.

So… I guess that’s everyone. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all those who read and didn’t leave me feedback. Thank you for reading!!

posted on 29-Mar-2002 1:04:20 AM by LiLEvEe
*~* Author’s Note *~*

Great news everyone!! My spring break officially starts now. Break out the confetti. That’s right, a whole week off. More than a week actually, an entire ten days of vacation!! Ten blissful days of very much awaited… sleep! Oh, and to update my fics while I’m at it of course. Just not today. Or tonight rather. Tonight I will be heading to bed early so that I can rest my eyes and hopefully get a good nights sleep. And although you may be expecting an abundance of updates from me, my teachers, for some darn reason, think that it would be just lovely to give me homework over the holidays. So that plethora of updates will come… gradually, if I feel up to it. I don’t know. Anywho… Thank you for all of your replies. I just thought I’d let everyone know that I am going to start writing again… soon… tomorrow… maybe. I don’t know, I need sleep. I get pretty cranky when I have no sleep. And then I get bitchy, and excessively pissed off… anyhow… Thank you again for the replies. They make me feel so good and loved.

Again, this is the same note for all three stories: Accept the Challenge, The Denial Game, and Harvest Moon. I will be updating Accept the Challenge first. I know, I have Harvest Moon part six in the making, but I just get so lazy with that fiction. Every time I start typing it, I start falling asleep. And there is also some controversy involving it too. So I’m not sure if it’ll be The Denial Game or Harvest Moon that gets an update next. We’ll see. Until then, see ya!! One more time: Thank you for your feedback!!!

posted on 1-Apr-2002 6:49:42 PM by LiLEvEe
*

[ edited 3 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 7:58:33 PM ]
posted on 1-Apr-2002 8:35:57 PM by LiLEvEe
Everyone seems to be angry with me… sigh… that’s not good. I told you I was sorry, oh-so very sorry, but the part just seemed to come out that way. I hadn’t meant for it to come out that way, it just did. I start typing and I just let my mind flow, and it happened to flow in that direction. I honestly had no idea how my head came up with that scenario. And, although I didn’t want to give any of the next part away, I don’t want people to get angry about where the story is going and stop reading, so understand this, when Liz said that she couldn’t control herself, she couldn’t control herself. That’s all I will say. You can interpret it what ever which way you want. Just please don’t be mad with me. Trust me. I am a die-hard dreamer too. The story may not look all too good right now, but you’ll just have to trust me. You’ll like the next part though. It’s already playing in my mind, all I have to do is get it down. But I think I’m going to update Harvest Moon first. I’ve been neglecting it for a very long time now. Again, I am so sorry for those who disapproved of the last part, but it will all work out in the end. TRUST ME!!! please??
posted on 1-Apr-2002 9:31:22 PM by LiLEvEe
Ughh... sigh... I am so so so sorry. I promise, I really do, I will make it up. I will fix everything. You are just going to have to trust me. Please don't be mad. I promise, I promise, I promise, I promise everything will fix itself. You just have to trust me. PLEASE??? Again, I am so so so sorry if I upset a few people but it will be fixed. I assure you!!
posted on 2-Apr-2002 1:49:04 PM by LiLEvEe
*

[ edited 3 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 7:59:31 PM ]
posted on 2-Apr-2002 5:27:44 PM by LiLEvEe
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It’s all good, soypet. The feedback didn’t make me feel bad. I think it was more of the me leaving ya’ll (Texan) hanging that made me feel bad. But I fixed it to how I wanted. And now, I’m confusing people even more. Why are my stories always confusing? I think I don’t put enough information in them. I tend to forget that ya’ll can’t see into my head at times.

Anyway, thank you for all your feedback. Especially soypet for the very very very long reply. You know I love it. It’s my spring break and so that is the only reason I have time to write all these parts. So enjoy the updates while they last. Somewhere in my priorities list, The Denial Game kind of bumped Accept the Challenge down, so I’m finding myself updating it more. I should get to my other stories too, but this one just has my interest at the time. Harvest Moon is just off somewhere, neglected and lonely.

Oh, and that chapter that I said that I had of this story already written but I need to be able to get to that point in the story first, I reread it. And it looks like I’m heading in a different direction from it. Which is sad because I love my floating chapter. I just want to put it up but I can’t because the story has gone away from me. Honest to God, I had not meant for Max to erase Liz’s memory, it just happened. Just like the Sean thing. My fingers kind of get away from me.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that I’m rereading The Denial Game to edit it and what not. And I seriously hardly recognize the piece. I’ve forgotten so many things that I just reread that it makes me go… did I write that? Anyway, I’m just bored and thought you might like to hear some of the stupid things going on in my mind.

I’m ticked off. I really need to redirect the story. I want my floating chapter in there. It may be egotistical, but I love my floating chapter. I want it in there so badly, but my story has gone away from me. I think I might have to start a new story centered around that floating chapter just so I can get it in somewhere. But I can’t. It mentions Liz’s growling and things. *Sigh*. Oh the frustration!! There’s nothing much I can do there. And here I go. Talk talk talk. Oh, well. This will serve as me ranting and a bump.

Thank you to everyone who has read my story. Thank you *~*Lizzie*~*, Pheobe01, soypet, aZNroSweLl anglgrl, Rapunzel (Thanks for the reply on the other board too), daydreamLDM, angelbaby6977, and roswellluver.

Eraser Room and Eccentric One ((Kara))!! I’m still waiting for ya’ll (Proud Texan) to get on and give me your insight to the lastest part! Hurry!! I will not start on the next chapter without their replies!! Hopefully that’ll lure them out!!

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posted on 3-Apr-2002 12:22:31 PM by LiLEvEe
My FEEDBACKERS:

*~*Lizzie*~* – I suppose you could say that Max, Tess and Sean are aliens. That much I have formed in my mind so far. But they won’t be the only ones.

Pheobe04 – Thank you for your feedback. I’m glad you’re liking the story. I can tell you right now though that Max moved them to the parking lot so that his story would be legit. And the three word thing is just for fun. There’s nothing really behind it.

soypet – The rank thing confuses me at the moment too. But it’ll work it’s way out. And the Sean thing, that is scary. I don’t think I’ll let him be able to erase memories. That’s just… eww. And the neck thing, you’re on to something, just keep looking.

aZNroSweLl anglgrl – Thanks for the feedback!

Rapunzel – You’re not the only one confused. Liz didn’t actually faint, per say. That’s just Max’s cover story. And she couldn’t move because Sean wouldn’t let her.

daydremLDN – Thanks for the feedback! Yeah. I had the same thought in my mind with the bright light. Hehe.

angelbaby6977 – I don’t think anything happened to Liz when she was with Sean. Or whatever did happen, Max stopped it. Thanks for the feedback!!

roswellluver – Yeah. Liz just forgot. Thanks for reading!!

cyberchic121 – Oh believe me. If Liz finds out, he will pay! Thanks for the feedback!

the better twin – You aren’t the only one confused. I’ll try to get the next part out soon. Thank you for the feedback!!

Audio Poet – Thanks. Thank you for reading!!

Eraser Room – What Tess claimed her as? Hmmm… I wonder what? Max ever claim anyone else? We’ll have to see. I don’t even want to think about what would happen had Sean claimed her first… eww… Does Max outrank Tess? There’s the possibility. I mean, I think Max is pretty powerful. Sean and Tess, I suppose then have to have seen a different side to Max, but there are many faces dealing with him. Tess doesn’t remember Max saying more than three words too. I’ll try to update soon. I got your reply Eraser Room, but alas, no Kara… where could my little Eccentric One have gone off to?

mermaidgirl – I’ll try with the updates. But apparently the so called ‘authoratative figures’ are forcing me to play house wife and clean clean clean. Why was Tess surprised? We’ll have to wait and see. I’m not just saying that to keep you in suspense either. I really don’t know yet. Thanks for the feedback!!

ILYMEFOREVER – Everyone’s confused… hehe… I always seem to confuse people. Yes, I will tell you, there are unearthly beings in this story. But I’m not sure about the claiming thing yet. Thanks for the feedback.

So… I guess that’s everyone. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all those who read. Thank you for reading!!
posted on 4-Apr-2002 6:46:34 PM by LiLEvEe
-------------------------------------------------


Chapter Six



“So you’re okay with the move?” Mrs. Deluca asked, dropping me off at the orphanage again.

I shut the door to her car and lean into the window. “Yeah. I’m fine with it.” I’m not all too keen about moving in with another group of strangers, but the Whitman’s were really nice people. And they live above the Crashdown. How cool is that? When you live above a restaurant, you can never go hungry.

“Alright then. I’ll start the paperwork immediately. Give me two days, at the most to get it all done. And then, I’ll help you get settled in.” Mrs. Deluca gives me a warm smile. Completely different from the cool hard lady I first met in the courtroom. I guess everyone has different sides to them. I think I’m liking this mothering side to her.

I’ve told you how much I like Mrs. Deluca right? Well, I do. She’s been the nicest person to me yet. She’s probably a great mom. Maria is lucky to have her. I would give anything to have a mom like Mrs. Deluca. I bet we would have a blast together. I wonder if this cousin of mom’s has a wife. Will she want to be my mom? Would Mrs. Whitman want to be my mom?

No. She’s just a foster parent. She was pretty nice to me though. I mean, considering that I’m just this little girl whom she doesn’t even know, other than the fact that she and my mom used to be friends. Who knew mom had friends? Hell, I don’t even have friends.

But overall, in the little time that we got to talk to each other, they seem like very nice people. They’re even giving me their son’s room and forcing him into the guest room. Saying something about his room being more suitable for a girl, whatever that meant.

I felt sorry for their son. I really did. Even though I didn’t get to meet him. The Whitman’s made up some excuse for him though. Off to band practice or something like that. Whatever. I mean, I don’t blame him or anything. Who would want a stranger to suddenly come into your house? Lord knows I wouldn’t; if I had a house.

He’s supposedly in the same grade level I am. I was racking my brain to think if I had met him, but the funniest thing is, I have never once asked anyone for a last name. Nope. Probably because of my beliefs of how last names are overrated. Just like my belief of where artificial cheese comes from. Remind me to tell you later, by the way. So, any guy that I have met could have the last name of Whitman.

Not Max though, because he is THE Evans. We’ve established that already. And not Kyle ‘the mighty comet’ Valenti. And not hippie boy either. I think his last name was Guerin. But other than that, the possibilities are endless. Just like the chances of me finally finding a home.

“That’s great, Mrs. Deluca.” You know what? I’m just going to ask her. “Um… can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” Again, the genuine smile. She has a nice smile. Just like someone else I know.

Deep breath. Here goes nothing. “That man… who is supposed to have custody of me?”

I think I caught her attention. She’s turned in the driver’s seat and is looking straight at me. “Yes? What about him?”

“Who is he?” There’s a lot I put in that question. It’s basically asking: is he old, is he nice, is he tall, is he fat, etc., etc.

But she frowns, not at me, but at the topic. “There isn’t a lot I know about him. What I do know is that he’s a fairly rich man and he’s your mother’s cousin. I’m sorry, Elizabeth. That’s all I know.”

So, he’s some rich loony. Don’t get me wrong, but my mom’s side of the family has been known to be a little on the insane side. Thank God I didn’t get those genes. Oh wait… hehe… I did. “Well, do you know his name?”

Mrs. Deluca squints one of her eyes and thinks for a second. Do you think habits are hereditary, because I swear I saw Maria do that all the time. “Ed Harding.”

Ed Harding? Mom had a cousin named Ed? I suppose so. I mean, his name starts with a vowel. I don’t know. My mom’s side of the family has this thing about vowels for some fucked up reason. It’s really screwy shit. Just look at my name. ‘E’lizabeth. Anyhow. “Does he have a family of his own? Do you think I would like it if he wanted me to live with him.”

“Aw, sweetheart,” she actually looks sad for me. Why? I have no idea. “I’m not sure. And I don’t know him well enough to tell you that. But I’m sure everything will turn out fine in the end.”

Figures. “Thank you, Mrs. Deluca.” I wonder why he’s even thinking of taking custody of me. I bet he’s some rich bastard who doesn’t even know who I am but thinks it’s his duty to take care of me. That or he really doesn’t give a shit about any of this stuff and just likes to toy around with things that he has a possibility of owning. It’s as if I’m some kind of property they can just throw around… whoa… dizzy… why am I suddenly…

“You’re a really pretty girl, Lizzie. Really pretty. I like pretty girls.”

What in hell? Where did that come from? How did I…

“Let her go.”

What the fuck is going on? Why did I just hear…

“Did he hurt you? Are you sure?”
“And what if I told you that that’s exactly how we rank?”

Was that… did I just hear… why am I… what…

“What are you thinking about, Liz?”
“Do you really want to go, Liz?”

“Liz… Liz… Liz…”

“What? Huh?” What just happened there? Where am I?

“I said you really should go, Liz. Inside,” she points towards the orphanage. “It’s getting kind of late and I don’t want them to start thinking that I’ve gone and abducted you.”

“Oh. Right.” I tried to muster a smile at her joke. I really did, but my mind was just… what happened? My head is kind of…

“Liz… Liz… are you okay?” Mrs. Deluca looks really concerned.

I try to smile. “Huh? Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Okay, because you look a little pale. Are you sure your okay?”

“I’m fine.” Nodding the head for emphasis. But honestly, I’m not fine. I’m far from fine. My head is throbbing like crazy. And I feel so… weak.

And Mrs. Deluca is now looking at me as though I’ve grown a second head. “I’ll walk you in.”

“That’s okay, Mrs. Deluca. I can do it on my own.” But she’s already unbuckled her seatbelt and gotten out of the car.

So with what effort I can muster, I push against the side of the car, trying to stand up and steady myself to walk the short distance from here to the main entrance to the orphanage. “See, Mrs. Deluca? I can get inside on my own.”

“You just look a little winded, is all. And I just want to make sure you’re okay.” She’s made it around the car and onto the sidewalk, but I’m already halfway to the building. Perfectly fine. Completely… other than the fact that I am barely able to walk straight. God, my head…

“I’m claiming her.”

Whoa… is it me or does the ground seem to be…

“Liz!”

“Okay.”


--------------


Ugh… my head… Ahh… the light. Ugh… don’t you hate it when you open your eyes too fast? Or when you move your head too fast? Or when you do anything too fast? Life should be slow as hell and everything should be taken at a snail’s pace. That way you can just sit back and enjoy.

It’s weird that I think this way when my mom thought the exact opposite. She never really liked it that I resembled my father so much. She always wanted life to go faster. But not me and dad. Nope. We love to sit back and smell the roses. Literally… hehe. We had these white roses that he planted in back just for me. He knew I loved him.

Just like how he knew about a lot of other things about me. Like how I would always eat fish, for some reason. How I had to have my sweets. Or how I always wore sweaters. How I sometimes loved to eat really spicy food. And how I loved reading books.

Mom never really knew those things about me. She would always just wonder why I didn’t like the things she did. Like I was supposed to be some duplicate of her. Some kind of mini-Anna. You can just imagine her fit when I got dad’s eyes instead of hers. She kept going on about having better genes than dad did. Though, I tended to think it was the other way around.

She didn’t understand us a lot, me and dad. We had this comforting bond between us. He would garden for hours. It was his favorite thing to do. And I would sit out back and watch the clouds and read. So long as I stayed out of his way. Those were the best times. When he wasn’t drunk or mad at mom. He was his calmest when he gardened.

I think it was the wait. How you had to wait for things. And it was always the finished product that you worked so hard for. You had to pinpoint the perfect moment. He always told me you couldn’t rush things. But not my mom. My mom was always rushing… always in a hurry. Maybe that’s why life passed her by too quickly.

I know. Those were evil thoughts for a person to think about of their mom. But that’s what I am, evil. I’m a terrible daughter and an even more terrible person. It’s not like I want to be, it just happened. Just like most things in my life. I didn’t want my mom and dad to fight all the time, but it just happened. I didn’t want to be left alone, but it just happened. And I don’t want my head to be pounding like it is, but it’s just fucking happening!

Ugh… why can’t I think straight? By the way, where am I? I’m lying down on a bed in a room. And nothing looks familiar. Wait a minute. Whiteness. White tables. White walls. White room. Oh dear God… I’ve been abducted by aliens. Oh no. They’ve probably… they’re probably running tests on me. Seeing how I tick. They’re probably going to dissect me and probe… eww… That’s worse than getting attacked by Sean. Wait… when was I attacked by Sean?

“Liz. I see you’re awake.”

Oh my God. Am I just being paranoid or did that guy in the lab coat, holding a clipboard, just appear out of nowhere? Hey that door wasn’t there a second ago. Hold the fucking phone. Aren’t aliens slimy and green? But this guy is a… guy. Lordy Lord. It’s worse than I thought. The government’s behind all this. They probably want to take a look at my brain. Damn it. I knew all of those evil thoughts were bad. Bad Liz. Bad Liz.

“Liz. Are you all right?”

“No.” I try to back away from him, but he has me backed up into a corner. “Stay away! I come in peace.”

And you know what the guy does? He laughs at me. He’s laughing AT ME. I’ve told you how I’ve hated it when people laughed at me, haven’t I? Well, I do. Alien or FBI agent be damned. I will not tolerate being laughed at.

“And what is it that is so darn funny?” I cross my hands over my chest and stare him down even though he’s like a head taller than me.

The guy seems to hold back his laughter some. “Liz. I’m Doctor Davis.” He holds his hand out for me to shake, but I just kind of stare at it. Who knows what kind of germs aliens hold. “Amy brought you in to me when you fainted. And I’m starting to think that fall might have done some damage to your head.”

“Doctor? Fainted?” Is this guy kidding me? “Wait. So you aren’t some underground government scientist or an evil alien in disguised sent here to dissect me?”

He laughs again. “Maybe you should lie down, Liz. And I’ll check that noggin of yours again for any bumps or cracks.”

I walk back over to the bed table thingy and do as told. My head is throbbing too much for me to argue right now. He lifts my head and softly applies pressure to certain spots of my scalp. Hey, that’s actually making it feel better. Wow.

“Hmm… there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong. Are you feeling any kind of pain anywhere, Liz?” He comes back around and is sitting on a stool next to me. White stool.

Pain? Pain? Nope. “No real pain. Just really… dizzy. My brain feels kind of… fuzzy.” Fuzzy? Fuzzy. Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t fuzzy, was he? All right. I have officially gone delusional.

Doctor Davis frowns at me. “I think you should lay back and rest for a while longer. We’ll see if the dizziness is still there when I come back to check up on you. We could have memory loss of some sort.”

Wait a minute. Memory loss? That’s not good. Definitely not good.

“Just close your eyes and rest a bit. I’ll be back shortly.” Doctor Davis pats my head and leaves the room. And I close my eyes and do exactly like I was told, like the good little girl that I am. Maybe I’ll get a lollipop.

“Liz?”

Ugh… why won’t these people let me sleep?

“Liz.”

“Huh?” I open my eyes and find Mrs. Deluca hovering over me.

“Hey. How are you feeling?” She’s whispering to me. Good. My head is hurting too much for people to be loud. It’s like a hangover. A really bad hangover. Not that I’d know what one felt like having never drunken before, of course.

I can’t really answer her. I do, however, have this grunt sound come out of me. I’m just too tired. I need to rest.

“Aww. Poor baby. You’re probably exhausted.” You said it, lady. She’s smoothing back my hair and smiling at me. Oddly, it reminds me of dad.

“Well, Doctor Davis said he wants to keep you in the hospital for another hour or so. Just to make sure.” Again, another grunt can be heard from me in response.

“Do you think you can be okay here by yourself? I need to get to a fax machine and finish up some paper work and things. I’ll be back in an hour. Okay?” Again, a grunt before I roll over to sleep.

“Okay. Get better. I’ll be back soon.” But I barely heard her. Her voice seemed so far off as sleep came over me.


--------------


“And how does this feel?” He fingers start pressing against the back of my scalp, massaging it and what not.

“Mmmm…”

“Any pain?” You can just hear the smile in his voice.

Pain? Oh, no. It’s just the opposite. “No, Doctor Evans. None whatsoever.”

“Now, now, Liz.” There’s that smile in his voice again. “Let’s not start with the Doctor Evans thing again. Doctor Max will be fine. Okay?”

“Uh huh.” I can’t even form words. God, what is he doing to me?

“Now, tell me when it hurts.” The hospital bed shifts a bit and I can feel him hovering over me. And suddenly, his hands are running down my neck, my shoulder, my arm.

“Mmmm….”

“Does that hurt, Liz?” He lays a hand softly on my stomach. I think he took my moaning as a negative as his hands move to another spot.

“How about here?” His hand grazes my exposed inner thigh, courtesy of the short hospital gowns, and I can’t hold in my gasp. Look at him and he’s wearing a smug smile on his face.

“Higher, Max.” You can’t imagine how shocked I was that those words came from my lips. I mean, little Lizzie would have never uttered such words to such a suggestive act. Oh, no no no.

But Max isn’t shocked at my behavior. He’s more… amused. “Doctor Max.” The smirk stays on his face as he corrects me.

Oh, what the hell. I’m sixteen with sex-crazed hormones and all. It’s all in good fun, right? “Doctor Max, kiss me.”

I expected him to pounce at me and start ripping at my clothes, but he doesn’t. Instead, he frowns. “But Miss Parker, that would be breaking the doctor patient relationship code.” But the twinkling wickedness never left his eyes and his hand was still lingering on my thigh.

“It will?” My voice comes out playfully innocent and I pout me lips as much as possible. Hehe… Elizabeth, the sex vixen.

The corners of his mouth start twitching and he’s trying not to smile. “Now if I were to check your breathing.” He leans forward, and I’m waiting, eagerly for his kiss, but he stops mere centimeters away. “Do you want me to check your breathing, Liz?”

Should I? Or shouldn’t I? Oh, what the hell. I’ve come this far. “Yes, Doctor Max.”

He leans in closer but he stops. “Do you want me to help you?”

“Yes. Help me.” Do I sound too desperate? God, I sound so desperate. But then, my reply only made his eyes go darker, more… savage… completely worth it.

“Help with your breathing, Liz?” God, Max. You have no idea. He leans in closer and I wait, but he stops again. He keeps teasing me. God, the torture. It would be so easy to just lean in the small distance and press my lips against his, but I can’t. He’s controlling me now. He has all the power.

“Help with your breathing, Liz?” He repeats. As though I needed him to. But he’s still waiting. I guess I’m supposed to voice my opinion.

“Yes-” Before I even finish pronouncing the complete word his lips are on mine and his hands are holding the back of my head. I feel his tongue brush against my bottom lip. I part my lips for him but he pulls away. I moan and pout in protest. God, desperate much? Hehe… for Max? Hell yeah!

But he has other things in mind. “Your breathing is fine, Liz. And your hearing...” he moves and his cheek brushes up against mine. He nibbles and blows softly into my ear. “… your hearing is fine too.”

“Max.” He name just slips from my lips on their own accord.

He lays me down on the bed, softly down on the pillow and looks at me. “And your seeing, Liz.” His hand covers my eyes and I see a bright light…



Whoa! Okay. Deep breaths. All right. That was the kinkiest dream I have ever had. Hehe… but not a bad one at that, Liz. How the hell did I come up with the doctor/patient fantasy anyway? Oh, that’s right, because I’m in a hospital, in a patient gown, in a bed. A white bed.

“Elizabeth?”

I jump a little and turn towards the voice. And there’s Nancy, sitting in a chair beside my bed, looking very concerned, though she’s trying to cover it up with a smile. “How are you feeling?”

How am I feeling? “What are you doing here?”

I guess my voice came out a little harsh, because she kind of flinches. “I’m sorry. If you don’t want me here.” She picks up her purse and I am overcome with guilt.

“No, it’s not that. I was just wondering what you were doing here, is all.” This time, I guess my tone was much more softer and friendlier, because she puts her purse back down and takes her seat again with a smile.

“Well,” her voice is hushed. People haven’t really been talking loud around me. Maybe it’s because we’re in a hospital. Maybe. “Amy called and told us that you weren’t feeling well and that you fainted. So we rushed right over.”

“We?” I look at her and now notice that there are two chairs pulled up close to my bed. And in walks Jeffy-boy with two cups of coffee.

“I see you’re awake, Liz. How are you feeling?” He hands one of the cups to Nancy. Why is it that people are always drinking coffee in hospitals when they are visiting? Is it some kind of unwritten law or something? I mean, it’s not even late.

“Liz?”

My head shoots up and I just realize that he had actually expected me to answer. I didn’t think he did. You know people who just ask that just for the heck of asking or just because it’s polite. After all, what else would you ask someone if they were in a hospital? Have you taken your pills yet or something else equally ridiculous.

“Liz?”

Oops. Sorry. I tend to get lost in my head. When I start thinking of one thing it tends to lead to another and then another and then another. And you know how it goes. “Huh? Oh, I’m fine.” But they don’t think so. They are actually looking at me now as though I’m weird, which I am, but… whatever.

“Are you sure, Liz? We could call a nurse or something.” Would they stop worrying so much? It’s not as though I don’t have the nifty little nurse button to call for help if need be.

“Really, I’m fine.” I give them my best face to try to convince them, but they’re still skeptical.

“Well, Doctor Davis had said to perhaps expect some memory loss.” Jeffy-boy says it to Nancy, as though I’m not in the room.

“Honest to God, I am fine. Really. You both didn’t have to come all the way down here to check up on me. I’m fine.” And although I say this, I’m actually kind of glad that they did. I mean, it shows that they care right? That at least someone cares about me enough to drive all the way here from another town just because I fell.

“Well, Liz, we were just worried.” Nancy places her hand on my arm and smiles at me again. “We don’t want anything to happen to you. And we’ve been meaning to come visit you.” Again, the smile. It really kind of grows on you.

“So, Amy tells me that you still kept our last name. I hope that means that, if this other relative chooses not to, you’ll still want to come live with us?” Jeffy-boy has a smile on his face too, but it ain’t growing on me. If I told them the real reason why I kept their last name, the alphabet bump, they’ll probably get mad. So I just smile. No one can get mad at smiles. They brighten up the world. Now, smirks, on the other hand…

“That’s great.” I guess they took my smile as an affirmative. Oh, well. “Well, we’ve talked to a lawyer about this whole mess. And we’re trying to find a way, Liz. This cousin of your mother’s just isn’t taking your life seriously enough for us. So our lawyer is trying to find a way around it.”

Wow. And yet another group of strangers to move in with. And I haven’t even moved in with the last ones yet. Great. Just great. As if my life isn’t being jerked around enough.

“We’ll talk to Amy about it. And then we’ll see.” Nancy is just so nice. I wonder why she doesn’t have any kids of her own. “I know we just came to visit you, but we only have a few more hours until we have to get back. But I think both me and Jeffrey have long overdue vacation time coming up, and then we’ll be down here to visit for a longer period of time. How does that sound?”

“Okay.” I’m nodding my head for emphasis. Hey, who cares what I think. Just go ahead and do it. It’s not like I control my life of anything. And even if I did, I wouldn’t care. After all, they are just another set of strangers anyway. But don’t think they didn’t score brownie points with me for actually asking, because they did.

“But until then, we still have a few more hours. That gives us just enough time to talk. If you’re up to it, that is.”

“Sure.” I mean, it’s not like they’ll go away if I tell them no, anyway, right?

Nancy smiles again. Jeffrey smiles too. And I smile also. We’re just all smiles, brightening up the already white room. And Nancy’s all so happy. “Okay. So, I heard that faint and fall was pretty nasty, how does your head feel?”

Oddly enough, “It feels great.”


-------------------------------------------------



[ edited 2 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 8:00:47 PM ]
posted on 4-Apr-2002 7:11:47 PM by LiLEvEe
*~* Author's Note *~*

Okay, small author's note. I know, I already vented earlier in the post, but now I have something more to say. *big* I really have not been doing much this whole spring break so far other than read fanfictions all day long. *wink* So now, I am so utterly utterly behind on things. I have so much homework to do and catch up on. *sad* And I've already said about my acting classes and things. And I also have to finish cleaning up the house since apparently my sister thinks I'm her maid *tongue*, anyway. My point, I really shouldn't be writing anymore of my story for a while *sad*. I shouldn't but it never tends to work out that way. I always seem to come back *big*. But this time I mean it. Yeah, just need to keep telling myself that *wink*. Anyway, I really really need to get on track, so I hope you all will forgive me for no longer updating for a while *sad*. I might update Accept the Challenge since I haven't updated that in a while. But other than that. I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me. But then again, you never know *big*. I always tell myself this and end up coming back. But, I am, as of the end of this day, turning off my computer and not coming back for a while *sad*. Maybe when I come back, there will be a lot of updates and things for me to read from other stories. And possibly a lot of feedback for me to respond to *wink*?? Anyways... Adios.. for now *wink*. Bye!
posted on 5-Apr-2002 3:07:49 AM by LiLEvEe
*

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 8:01:43 PM ]
posted on 6-Apr-2002 5:42:43 PM by LiLEvEe
Okay. Time for me to rant about my audition. It was the most terrible thing in my life. God, I was all okay and peachy keen, not all too nervous. When I was in the waiting room, everything was good. I remembered every line. He had me come in and asked me a few questions. And then he had me do my monologue and it was the worst thing. I forgot my lines so many times, I had to start over… twice. But over all, he liked it. He said that I had talent. And although I messed up a lot, he liked what I did and that my acting was good. And he also said that he liked me. And that it was a good thing that I was asian, since there aren’t many asian actors. And he also said it was a good thing that I was young, because then I could be able to play roles younger than me. Frankly, I just think he let me in because I was asian, but hey, take what you can get… hehe. What sucked the most, was that my family has known that I’ve been fretting over this audition so much, but they don’t even care. It would help if they were the least bit supportive. They didn’t even ask me how it went or if I got in when I got home. They still have yet to ask me. But hey, they just don’t see why I want to take acting classes when they have already chosen that I’m to be a doctor when I grow up. But hey. Whatever. Sigh. They probably won’t even let me join the class now even though I’ve already auditioned.

Alright. Enough about me. I wanted to get another part out for you today, but I just realized something… it’s Saturday. That means I only have today and tomorrow to do all of my homework that would have taken an entire week to do. So I’ll be busy. After I catch up with all of my missed fanfiction updates of course… hehe. I’ll try to get another part out Monday night. Thanks for the feedback everyone. And that’s for all your help!! Love ya!!

posted on 6-Apr-2002 6:12:04 PM by LiLEvEe
Thanks Rapunzel. See? At least I get support here. My family isn't all that nice. I'm not going to listen to them anyway. It's not like it's their money I'm so called wasting anyway. I'm using my own. Anyway, although my audition may have been havic on my nerves, which it really really really was. I came out of it well. He said I had talent!! And that I can ACT!! He said that he knows about acting having acted himself, and that he knows that I can ACT!! I'm still reeling from that!! I HAVE TALENT!! Yay me!! HAHA!! That's so cool.

Plus, did I mention that I met a cute guy that was waiting to be auditioned before me? He was really nice, and cute to boot too... hehe. Anyway, I have read all of my missed fanfictions already, or at least the stories I could find. I didn't want to go back too many pages. Right now, the connections always slower than usual.

So I just wanted to add another little note just to rant before I got offline. I need to clean my room, clean my house, do my homework, read my book, etc. etc.

Come Monday night, I'll probably update Accept the Challenge first and then The Denial Game and then Harvest Moon. But I may end up writing two new parts for Accept the Challenge.

Ugh... I've got a new idea and I want to start a new story, but I have yet to finish one. I can barely handle the three. Shall I start another one?? Nah. Anyway, adios, chao, hasta luego, BYE!!!

Another note before I leave, I already have a possible ending thought out for The Denial Game... hehe... it's wicked. But then, I may not use it. It's too... I don't know. Thanks everyone. I didn't get a note from Kara. I wonder if she knows I updated with a chapter for her yesterday for helping me. Oh well.

Eraser Room!! I got your feedback!! No I will not forgive you... jk. Of course you're forgiven babe!! How could I ever get mad at you??

Thanks everyone!! Gotta GO!!
posted on 7-Apr-2002 1:15:47 AM by LiLEvEe
*

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 8:02:08 PM ]
posted on 7-Apr-2002 10:13:03 AM by LiLEvEe
Hehe... I'll let ya'll interpret that scene any way you want...
posted on 7-Apr-2002 9:15:42 PM by LiLEvEe
Wow. I got fifteen replies. Sixteen including Kara’s. That’s cool. So, I guess ya’ll will want me to update soon huh? Hehe… to bad. I would. But I don’t feel up to it anymore. I feel sad and overly depressed. I could use some sunshine in my life. Anyone want to come and cheer me up? Pretty pretty please?? Things just don’t seem to look good to me anymore. And my mind is all mushy and confused and too angry with things to concentrate on writing a story. It sucks. Oh, did I tell you? All the worrying and practicing and the audition was all for nothing. They aren’t going to let me take the class. Sad isn’t it? Sigh. Oh well. It was too good to be true anyway. But at least I made it into the class, right? At least I can say that much. Oh, well. I need a pick-me-upper. And fast. Hey, anyone know any good jokes?? No? I guess not. Anyway. I’ll update when I feel up to it again. Don’t expect it any time soon. These spells tend to last a while. Until then. But then I always say shit like that, if you haven’t noticed. So whatever. Just ignore me. God, life sucks. Oh, well. Hope to get back to you soon. Thanks everyone for their feedback. Hey, maybe a little feedback with cheer up my mood. Maybe. Thanks again.

PS- this little note was just to vent. I find that it helps a lot to get these stupid things off your chest. And to tell you that life sucks. Thanks!!

posted on 7-Apr-2002 10:18:21 PM by LiLEvEe
Thanks Kitkat26. Top five huh? Wow. I never thought my stories were all that good. Thank for for reading them. You actually like Accept the Challenge?? You don't think it's kind of... long?? I just want to hurry up and end it, but there are too many things in it for me to hurry and wrap up. I have a feeling this one is going to be like that too. But hopefully this story won't be going anywhere near as many parts as Accept the Challenge. Thanks for trying to cheer me up. Dude... I could really use a good laugh. Are you sure you don't know any good jokes?? Anyone??
posted on 8-Apr-2002 12:06:28 AM by LiLEvEe
Thanks for the joke site Kitcat26. Some of them were funny. But you were right. I had to go digging for them.

Kara, thanks for the support. And 'they' is actually my sister. See, I have a very strange family life. My dad works so much that I barely even see him anymore unless I stay up really late. And my mom seems to have left me. So my sister dictates my life. And I don't think she actually thought I could make it into the class because the notice for the class said that there were only going to be a small group placed in the class. But the coolest thing about the class that I liked, not only about the guy teaching it was a talent manager from LA who flies in on weekends, but at the end of the class, in July, they is going to be a three week retreat to Hollywood where we would get to meet with casting directors and stuff. Isn't that the coolest? I want to do that. And there's still hope yet. I just talked to my sister about it again... well, practically begged her. She got mad and told me I'll just have to talk it over with my dad and I'll have to work out something with my brother to let me use his car on saturdays. But I think my dad might let. He might not like the fact that it takes half an hour to drive to the class, but other than that... I don't know. But I'm his youngest child, he has to give in, right? Well, I'll just have to wait another half hour for him to come home and we'll see. Unless he doesn't come home today. Hmmm... we'll see... Thanks for your support!!!
posted on 9-Apr-2002 1:23:53 AM by LiLEvEe
Just to let ya'll know. My bad mood is over. Well, I'm just going to put that stuff as far out of my mind right now and focus on other things. I shouldn't have been selfish like that anyway. So, now that I have my priorities straight. I've gotten so much feedback, from this board and from the Bordello. It's so cool. I guess a lot of people liked my last part with 'Dr. Max'... hehe. Things for this story are panning out great. If you haven't read my note for Harvest Moon (for any of you who read that story), I suggest that you read my note. Things aren't so great with that story. Well, this one's good though. Everything's all mapped out in my head. All I have to do is get it all out on paper. But... it may take several, several chapters if I want to get in everything that I want to get in. There are just so many things that I want to happen to Liz that it will take a while. But I may be cutting a few of them out. I honestly do not want this to get as long as Accept the Challenge. Which reminds me, I should work on that story. What was I going to say? Oh, yeah. I just wanted to let you know that I have another chapter in the making right now. But I have a quiz tomorrow for US History and so I have 30 pages to read tonight. I'll most likely be pulling another all nighter, I'll work on this on the side. Hopefully I'll get it out before I have to head off for school. So you can expect it sometime before 7:00am... 8:00am board time. Thank you everyone!!!
posted on 9-Apr-2002 1:47:59 AM by LiLEvEe
I take that back. I'm tired. Screw the homework and the quiz. I'm going to sleep. Good night everyone. Expect that part sometime tomorrow... well, today since it's past 12:00 and all. Sweet dreams!!
posted on 10-Apr-2002 2:27:15 AM by LiLEvEe
Okay. So I have good news and I have bad news. All right. Which one to tell you first? Okay. Good news is that I just talked to my dad about the acting classes. I told him that I have acting classes on saturday. And he asked, so what's the problem. And I told him that I didn't have a car to get there and that it's thirty minutes away. He told me to just take my brother's car. Hehe... YAY!! I'm gonna get to go! I'm gonna get to go! YAY!! All right, bad news. I don't have the next part out yet. I have it written, for the most part, but there is no Max in it. And I figure it's about time for him to make another appearance. And this week is the last week of the six-weeks in school. So grades and all are hectic. Sorry, but I won't be able to work on finishing the next part yet. Hopefully, I'll have it done and posted by Friday. Thanks everyone!!!
posted on 12-Apr-2002 7:38:47 PM by LiLEvEe
-------------------------------------------------


Chapter Seven



“Well, Liz. We’re here.” Mrs. Deluca pulled into the front of the Crashdown. Wow. So this is it. Yet another bump in my road called life. Yet another home to live in. And yet another set of strangers who want to put me down on their list of good deeds I did to get me into heaven.

“Liz?”

What? Oh. “Sorry.” I really need to start reminding myself to pay attention more. Everyone’s probably thinking that I’ve got a hearing problem. As if I’m not strange enough already.

But Mrs. Deluca just smiles at me. “That’s all right. Do you need help with your bag?” Oh yes. My bag. My ONE bag that holds my all too few possessions in it. Sigh.

I’ve really got to stop thinking this way. She was only trying to be nice, right? Remember, Liz. Not everyone’s out to get you. Just some. “No, I’ve got it.” Open the door and I grab my one bag.

“Do you want me to come in?” She unbuckles her seatbelt and reaches for the door handle.

“No, Mrs. Deluca. I’m fine. You don’t have to go in with me. I think I can handle it on my own.” Yeah. Sure. I mean, I’ve been on my own all of my life. There’s no sense in changing now. Familiarity and all.

“All right. If that’s what you want.” Is that what I want? To be alone all of the time? To be shoved away from one group of people who don’t want me to another group of people who have yet to realize that they don’t want me?

“Yeah. Thank you, Mrs. Deluca. For everything.” Sigh. Hell. I wonder what would actually happen if I was completely honest for once? That would scare the shit out of people to no extent. If they hear perfect little Lizzie spewing vulgar language, they’ll decide that the world has definitely come to an end.

“Anytime, Liz.” She gives me a warm smile and I try to reciprocate one accordingly, but I just can’t pull it off the way Mrs. Deluca can, as though she really cared. “Okay, now. They’re expecting you.”

“I know.” Did she think I’d forget?

“Are you scared?” Scared, she asks? Hell yeah. Scared shitless.

“Actually? I’m fine.” I lie. But hey, honestly never got anyone anywhere. And it’ll only make her worry. And it’s not Mrs. Deluca’s job to worry about me. Nope, it’s the Whitman’s job, now. Oh joy.

“Really?” She turns and looks at me dead-on. “Because it’s okay to be scared. Your life has taken so many twists and turns in such a short amount of time. I don’t think you’ve had the right amount of time to soak it all in yet.”

“Me neither.” The words slip from my lips at a whisper. I mean, no shit I haven’t let it all soak in yet. If I did I’d be climbing the walls and bawling like crazy. Completely lose control. And I can’t not have my control. I think Mrs. Deluca wanted to say something more to me, but I turned around and started towards the entrance of the diner.

Didn’t she think I realized that all of this shit was happening way too fast? Didn’t she think I knew that I can’t handle all of it and that it’s slowly eating away at me? That if I actually stopped to think about it, I’d break down, I’d crack, I’d go berserk. If I actually allowed myself to think of all of the things that have happened to me…

“LIZ!”

Arms grip my sides and I’m suddenly being spun around in circles, tossed in the air. “Whoa…” Oh, God damn it. The dizziness.

“Alexander Charles Whitman! Don’t scare the girl!” I can hear a voice but can’t actually pinpoint from which direction it came from. If the room would just stop spinning!

“Sorry.” The arms release me and now I am face to face with Alex, well as close to face to face as little me can get to a six foot four giant. “But, wow, Liz.”

“Hey, Alex.” I came out more in more of a gasp, but hey, what do you expect when you’re being pushed hurriedly into a room. Which is exactly what was happening. Alex was pushing me through the diner into the backroom and he practically carried me up the stairs into the Whitman’s upstairs apartment.

He abruptly stops once we enter into the living room. And there’s this mile wide smile on his face and this weird look in his eyes, as though he were about to spin me around again. I slowly back away. “Gosh, you can’t imagine how excited I was when my parents told me that you were coming to live with us.”

Dude. Is this guy kidding me? “Really? You don’t mind that I’m taking over your room?”

“Not at all.” He grabs my hand and pulls me towards his former room, now my new room. Which yesterday had boyish things and posters all over the wall. Now, the room is completely girly with pink and pastels. Complete transformation. “This is your room now. I’ll give you anything. You can have anything of mine that you want. Anything at all. All you have to do is ask. Or don’t even ask. Just tell me.”

Wow. I had no idea that Alex could talk so fast. Or that he could be so happy and jumpy. Or that he has just given me rights to anything I wanted. Whoa… back the train up… “Anything?”

“Anything. As long as it makes you happy.” He gives me a really toothy smile before grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door and out the room. “Come on. I’ll show you my room.”

“Whoa… Alex, slow down a bit.” He lets go of my hand and gives me an I’m-sorry smile before he opens the door to his room. And I take a look around. There wasn’t much to look at. The room was half the size of his old room, my new room. It was a pretty small place for a tall guy to have to live in. I’m surprised his legs even fit. And wow, this guy is giving up the spacious room with a balcony and a bathroom just for me. Don’t I feel special?

“Are you sure you’re okay with this? I really don’t want to invade your space. I mean, I’ll be more than happy to take this room.” I look at him and suddenly his smile turns into a frown.

“You don’t like your room?” Damn. He looks as though he’s kind of offended. And I’m suddenly feeling so completely guilty. And oh God, his lip is even quivering a bit. Dude, this guy has definitely mastered the sad-puppy look. I’ve got to get him to teach me that one.

“That’s not it. I mean, my room is great. But-”

“Good. Because it’s yours now. And you’re stuck with it. This room is no place for a girl. There aren’t even any windows. And from what I hear, girls need sunlight to grow. And you, Liz,” He points his finger at my nose, “Need to grow.” And suddenly he’s ushering me out and pushing me back into my new room.

“But…” I try to protest but Alex just looks at me sternly, which gets me to shut up and sit down obediently on my new bed.

He suddenly has a hundred-watt smile on his face. “I’m really glad you came to live with us, Liz.” And I’m being pulled into a hug. And it’s very, very… awkward. Maybe I should tell him I’m not really the hugging type of person. I’m, actually, not into any type of physical contact whatsoever. None. So I just kind of pat him on the back a little and pull away, smiling nervously.

But his big smile well made up for mine. “Well, mom and dad said we have to share the bathroom though.” Wait a minute. Mom and dad? Am I supposed to refer to them that way? “That’ll be kind of weird, huh? But it’ll be so great with you living with us. It’s going to be so cool, Liz.”

“Really?” Alex is just being too good to be true. How can he be this nice to a stranger? And I’m not exactly the best stranger to have around either. He’s just too… nice. And it makes me feel so… guilty.

“Yeah.” He’s nodding like crazy. “It’ll be so cool. I’ve always wanted a sister.” He ruffles my hair and punches me softly on the arm before smiling and closing the door behind him as he left the room.

All the while, I’m staring at the closed door, thinking, “sister?”…


--------------


“Liz,” there’s a knock on my door before it opens. “Hey.” He walks over and hovers over me, where I’m laying down on the bed. I seem to have been more exhausted than I thought I was.

“Hey, Alex.”

He sits down on the bed and I kind of shift towards him. “So, do you want to talk?”

“Talk?” I look at him and he’s looking down at me before he lays down on the bed too.

“Yeah. Talk.”

I roll onto my side and look at him, lying on my bed, with me. And suddenly, I feel a bit uneasy. “What about?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know. It just seems fitting that we talk, you know. Any family things you want to know about?”

Sigh. I hate to be the one to do this, but someone’s got to tell this guy sooner or later. “Alex. I’m really flattered that you think of me as a sister and all, but the truth is, I’m not. I probably won’t even be here all that long. I’m just a foster kid. Your parents are just my foster parents. They didn’t adopt me or anything like that.”

He keeps looking at me like he hadn’t heard a word that I’ve said. “I know, Liz. But that’s just how I see it. So as long as you’re here, you’re my sister. And I’m going to look out for you, and protect you from bullies who pick on you and scare away all of your boyfriends. And I’m going to play the big brother card for as long as I’ve got it.”

And you can’t help but smile. He’s just got such the best intentions. “Okay, Alex. I’ve always wanted a brother too.”

His smile brightens somewhat. “Yeah. Being an only child is depriving.” And I chuckle. “So, did you get all of your things unpacked?” He seems to glance around the room. I don’t see what for, there isn’t anything different about it.

“Yeah.” What little bit I have.

He stands up and hovers over me again. “Feel like going downstairs and getting a bite to eat with me?”

Mmm… food. Food is good. “I’d love to.”

“All right, little lady. Let’s go.” He has the whole hick accent and holds his arm out for me. I just laugh at him and accept.

We walk out of the apartment and are heading down the stairs when I start talking to him again. “Hey, Alex?”

“Yeah?” He holds the ‘employees only’ door open for me to enter the Crashdown.

“Do guys rank each other?” His long legs make it to where he’s walking beside me again.

I can see him kind of frown a bit. “It depends on which way you look at it. Why?”

I just shrug. “I don’t know. Just asking.”

“What made you think of it?” Alex sits down in a booth and pulls me down next to him.

I shrug again. “I don’t know. It just… popped up for some reason.”

“Hey, Max.” And suddenly, I just now notice that there’s someone else already seated in the booth.

And he speaks. “Hi Alex, Liz.”

Well, since we’re being friendly and all. “Hey, Max. Do guys rank each other?”

Apparently this is one question that Mr. Genius didn’t know the answer to think. And then ended it looking at me funny. “I… don’t know.”

“Oh.” Well, isn’t that nice?

“Why?” He’s still looking at me strangely.

And I shrug. “Just something that popped up in my head.”

“Oh… okay.” Still staring strangely. And normally, if it were anyone else, I’d look away, somewhat embarrassed. But it’s not just anyone. It’s Max. So what do I do? I stare right back at him. And there we are, just staring at each other. Until Maria walks up to us.

“Hey, guys. So what will it be?” She flips open her order pad.

“The usual.” Alex looks at her and gives her a smile.

“Same here.” Max doesn’t bother looking at Maria. Because he’s still staring at me. And oddly enough, now I start feeling uneasy. Hey, if it were just me and Max and Alex, I’d stare him down for hours. But it’s not just me and Max and Alex. It’s me and Max and Alex and Maria. And Maria is just one too many people.

“Liz?” I look up and she’s looking at me, expectantly, pen in hand.

Oh. I must have dazed again. I look back up at her. “Um… what do you think I should get?”

Alex speaks up. “Put her down for a Will Smith burger and a cherry coke.” And Maria writes it down. Normally, I would get somewhat offensive when someone orders for me, especially when I didn’t ask them to. But Alex did it in a way that was so… nice-person-ly that you kind of just go with it.

“Oh, Liz.” My head shoots up. Apparently, someone is talking to me. And that someone is Max.

“Yes?”

“I have this.” He opened his bag and pulls a stack of papers out, handing them to me.

“What’s this?”

Max just shrugs since shrugs seem to be the theme for today. They seemed to have replaced the smirks. “You’re homework.”

Whoa… wait a minute. AP US History, Calculus, English, Chemistry, and Health. “From all of my classes?”

Again, another shrug. “Yeah.”

Hmmm… interesting. Seeing as how I only have three classes with Max. “How’d you find out what my classes were?”

Another shrug. “It wasn’t hard.”

“Okay. Thanks.” And I shrug. Because he shrugged. And we’re all just shrugging. What joy.

He shrugs. “It was nothing.”

And Alex finally decides to speak up. “You’re actually thanking him for giving you homework? You shouldn’t be thanking him.”

I look at Alex and give him the evil eye. “Be nice.”

“Everyone misses you.” Max kind of whispers, kind of speaks. And I lift my head and look at him.

“Especially Max here.” Alex rolls his eyes.

“Shut up, Alex.” Max smirks. Ahh, the smirks have returned. I was feeling so odd and incomplete without them.

“Damn it, Max. It’s us, all right. Cut the crap.” Both of Alex’s hands come down on the tabletop with a little thud.

And Max just smirks. “I don’t understand.”

Alex glares at him. “I already have to put up with enough of this in school. If you don’t stop right now, I will not hesitate to beat your ass.” Whoa… what’s going on here. It’s like a tension zone or something.

Max leans forward and stares right back at Alex. “Watch it, buddy.”

And Alex, he leans closer too, whispering to Max. “Oh, I know about you and Liz. And besides, she’s my sister now.” Alex smiles a big smile and leans back, draping his arm over my shoulders.

Max’s eyebrows raise. “Sister, aye?”

Alex makes this weird noise that people make when they are frustrated. “Max… cut.. the.. crap…”

And Max smirks. “About what, Alex?”

And I think Alex just gives up. “Can I speak to you alone for a second, Max?” He points to the backroom door and Max nods. I get up so that Alex can get out. And you’re probably wondering what all that was about. Well, I’ll be damned if I knew. I was lost so way back when, that I just gave up on trying to figure out. After all, some things are best left unknown.

“Hey, Liz. Where are the guys?” Maria walks over with each of our plates and sets them each down.

I smile at her and pointed towards the backroom. “They went to go talk.”

“Well, then.” Maria takes Max’s seat. “They won’t mind me sitting down for a while. I could use a break and all.”

I smile at her again. “I didn’t know Alex and Max were friends.”

Maria rolls her eyes. “I don’t know. Alex and Max sit and eat together here. But I think it’s just Alex, inviting himself to sit down. I don’t think Max chooses to sit with him. I swear, Alex is like a puppy. The boy is so eager to please and has this need to be loved by all. And he wonders why I call him a bitch.”

“Really?” Hehe… it’s funny. It really is. Because from what I know about Alex, it’s true.

“Yeah. It’s really sweet and cute, but it really isn’t good. Especially how the blonde bimbos easily use and abuse him. It’s sad.” She frowns, shaking her head, and then takes a couple of fries and stick them in her mouth.

And I frown too. “Poor Alex.”

“Yeah.” Maria takes a deep breath and shakes it off. “So. My mom told me about the whole hospital thing. Are you feeling any better?” Maria has that look, just like her mom does. The one that makes you seem as though you are genuinely concerned. I wish I inherited that ability. It could come in handy.

“Much better. Thank you.”

“That’s good. I wanted to come visit you, but my mom said you had important visitors from out of town.” She pops a few more fries into her mouth.

“Yeah.” If that’s what you want to call them. But that talk with Nancy and Jeff had actually been nice. Nancy was just so super sweet. And even Jeffrey was kind of growing on me. Strange, yes.

“I made you a ‘get well’ sign though.” Maria says with a smug smile on her face. Apparently, she’s proud of herself. “I put it in your locker.”

“My locker?” Hold the phone. My locker? I have a locker? Since when do I have a locker?

Maria just nods her head. “Yeah. It’s the one right next to mine.”

“Oh. Okay.” Well, apparently so, since everyone seems to know things about me. God knows my life is so dog gum interesting.

“You know what?” Maria says, stopping mid-fry. “We should go shopping together.”

“Okay.” Shopping. Yay me. Have I told you I’m not the shopping type of person? Well, I’m not. I don’t like stores all too much. Especially malls. They scare me. Maybe it had something to do with getting lost in one when I was little and not getting found until hours later, when a nice police officer man found me and returned me to my mom, who was still just shopping away, trying on clothes. Maybe. Well, that one time I did get free ice cream.

Wait a second. Come to think of it. I also got lost at Water World too. For hours until a nice police officer man found me and returned me to my mom. And my mom was just relaxing and getting a tan. Hmm… you think this is adding up to something? Yes, I believe it is. Yup. I got free ice cream again, for both times. Hey, I should get lost more often.

“Okay. I’ll call you.” Whoa… I seemed to have forgotten that Maria was here. Hehe… I really need to stop doing that.

And great, now I’m stuck going shopping. Sigh. Well, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. “Do you want my number?” It’s funny that I even offer, seeing as how I don’t even know my own number, or the number to the Whitman’s home.

Maria shakes her head. “No. I’ve got it.”

“Okay.” Hell, does everyone seem to know just all about me? Is it like, lets all get to know facts about Liz that she doesn’t even know about herself kind of thing? I bet it is. It’s a conspiracy. That’s what it is. Damn aliens. Grr…

“The guys are back.” Maria stands up and makes room for them.

Max looks down at his plate and then back at Maria. “Maria, my fries.” Oh, he’s probably noting the fact that all the fries on his plate were practically gone.

But Maria just shrugs. “Yeah. I figured you wouldn’t mind me eating them. Because then you’d have to say ‘Don’t eat my fries’. And,” She holds up her fingers, “That’s four words.”

Max just rolls his eyes and picks up the plate, handing it to her. “Make it To-Go.”

She stops, looking up, thinking. And then shakes her head, walking away muttering, “Damn conjunctions.” And I laugh, inwardly of course.

Hey, even Alex is shaking his head and smiling. “I’ll get your bill, Max.” Max hands him a ten-dollar bill.

Max slides back into his seat. “Liz?”

“Hmm?” I look at him.

He has a mischievous glint in his eye. “I missed you.”

And I just nod. “Sure thing.” I might have been shocked or surprised to hear that, but the thing that I’ve learned about Max, is that the boy is not predictable. You can expect just about anything from the guy. Hell, if he jumped on the table right now and started doing a strip tease, I wouldn’t be surprised. And I’m waiting…

“Here you go, Max.” Maria hands him a little white paper bag with the Crashdown logo on the outside of it and his change.

“Thanks, Maria.” He stands up and takes the bag from her and sets it on the table.

Maria gives him a smile. “No problem, Max.” And she walks away.

Max is still standing there after Maria left, and I turn to look at him. “Bye, Liz.”

I wave my hand. “Bye, Max.” Max leans forward and tucks a few strands of my hair behind my ears, and then leans forward more and kisses me softly on the cheek.

“Bye, Liz.” He smiles, winks, and walks away.

I wave my hand again. “Bye, Max.” And I watch him until he’s walked out he door, into his jeep, and drives away. Like I said. The boy is unpredictable. Darn… I was actually looking forward to a little strip tease too…


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[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 8:03:15 PM ]
posted on 12-Apr-2002 10:55:54 PM by LiLEvEe
*

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 8:05:56 PM ]
posted on 13-Apr-2002 6:47:55 PM by LiLEvEe
Just got back from my acting class and I want to rant and tell you that it's the coolest thing ever. But first, thank you everyone for your feedback!! The class is so cool. It's only a small group of people. And in the beginning he had this stupid exercise to get us used to acting stupid in front of each other. We had to pretend we were samurai warriors and kill each other in slow motion and then we had to do a really really dramatic death. It was fun. And then he filmed us practicing slates and then we did an audition that he filmed and we get to see ourselves next week. It was so fun. The class is so cool. And the guy is an LA manager, so at the beginning of each class he reads to us what things are going on and what types of people are needed. And if any of us think we fit the part, he'll send in our headshot to the people. Most of the people in the class are like 17, like me, but there are some that are aolder and younger. It's all just so much fun. I can't wait for next week. Oh, and the guy I met in the green room before my audition, the really cute guy, he's not all that. Very very dork and dweeby. Kinda funny, but a hint of arrogance... but over all, the class is just so cool!! That's all I wanted to say. And right now, I am so exhausted. I was going to rewrite Harvest Moon, but I think I'll take a nap. Oh, and in my other acting class, the not so interesting one since I'm the oldest person in the class and everyone else is like 12 and 14 except for one 16 year old, we're doing children's plays. Aesop's fables and Rumplestilkskin. The teachers assigned us roles and I am the tortoise. You know, like in the tortoise and the hare. Not the best part in the world and not the most lines, but hey, at least I get to beat the hare in the race!! All right. Gotta go take my nap now. Thank you everyone again for their feedback!! Thanks!!
posted on 15-Apr-2002 7:24:39 AM by LiLEvEe
Just thought I'd let you know. I've got the next part in the making right now. I'm going to work on it during school, hand written, and then come home and type it up and post it this afternoon. Thanks for all the feedback!!!
posted on 16-Apr-2002 11:14:20 PM by LiLEvEe
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Chapter Eight



You know what I’ve learned? Every kid should, at one point or another in their life, go through some kind of physical accident of some sort. The attention that you get from it is just so great. That is, of course, unless you hate attention. So you can just imagine what a damn good time I was having, right?

“Liz, do you need me to hold your books for you?” About the gazillionth person has asked me today.

No, you asshole. I might have fallen but I’m not freaking crippled. “No, thank you.”

“Well, if you ever need help…” the guy smiles politely and walks away. Well, if I ever need help, God knows I wouldn’t ask him for it, seeing as how I’ve never seen him before in my life. But then again, the guy is kind of really, really hot. And he looks somewhat familiar, strutting around in his letter jacket. But don’t all football jocks look the same? Big muscles, little brain. Yeah, plus the good old doctor did say something about a bit of memory loss. So maybe I do know him. Hmmm…

“I’ll get that.” And my books are suddenly swiped from my hands as the book swiper starts walking besides me.

And you know what? This isn’t so bad. The holding my books and walking me to class thing. It’s actually kind of nice. “Thanks Alex.”

“Hey, what are big brothers for?” He winks at me as we walk into Calculus together.

And suddenly, I’m ambushed all at once, the second I walk into the room.

“Hi Liz.”
“Are you okay?”
“Are you feeling better?”
“I heard about what happened.”
“I felt so sorry for you.”
“Are you sure you’re okay.”
“What happened?”


“People, people. Please step aside and let Liz get to her seat.” Big brother Alex to the rescue. At least he’s having fun with all of this. I don’t know. I was never any good at playing the damsel in distress. I think it was the damsel part that I just couldn’t pull off, for some reason.

“All right, Liz. The coast is clear.” Alex stands with his hands on his hips and his chest out, in his superhero pose.

Oh God, he’s enjoying this way too much. “Okay. Thank you, Alex.”

“No need to thank me, little lady.” He winks and his arm is suddenly draped around my shoulder.

“Hehe… yeah… that’s funny, Alex.” I put my books down and take a seat.

“Yeah. I thought so too.” And Alex decides to choose the seat in front of me to sit in. “So did you do all of your packet?”

“The multiple choice?” I open up my folder and pull it out. “Yeah.”

“Great. Let me see it.” He just grabs it from my hands and turns around to start copying.

“Yes, Alex. Of course you can see my paper. Thank you for asking.”

“Huh? Liz?” he turns back around. “Did you say something?”

“No.” Sigh. Oh, the pain. The pain. The excruciating pain. Okay, so it’s not actual pain, per say, it’s more of annoyance and frustration.

“Here you go, Liz.” He turns around, hands me my paper, but doesn’t face forward again. Instead, he’s staring at me now. “So, what are you doing today?”

What am I doing today? I’m going to jump off a cliff and die. “I don’t know, Alex. Why?”

He shrugs. “Just curious, you know. I want to make sure you don’t do anything bad or anything.”

Me? Bad? Now where would he get an idea like that?

“Liz. No gangs. No drugs. No booze. And no sex. Are we clear on that?” He counts them off on his fingers and waits for my answer.

God, is this guy serious? Where the hell does he come up with these things? How can you associate any of those things with me? Little Lizzie? They just don’t go together.

“Liz? I’m serious here. No little sister of mine will be doing any of those things. Are we clear?” There’s no smile on his face, no smile in his tone, no smile anywhere. Alex is smile-less. And it’s scary. I think he actually is serious.

“Um… okay, Alex. Crystal clear.” Hey, you’d be scared too.

“Good.” He’s smiling again and turns back around in his seat. And for the first time since I’ve met him, I found myself doubting Alex’s sanity. It’s very scary. It really is.

“Liz? Why don’t you come up here for a second?” Mrs. Byrne’s voice came out sickly sweet and authoritative, the way that only teachers know how to speak. Ugh… I really don’t feel up to getting a close up of how horrible this lady’s make-up really is. It’s already hard to bear from far away and she wants me to come up close?

“Liz. How are you, dear?” Is it me, or does this lady seem to get more and more wrinkles by the second?

“I’m fine, Mrs. Byrne.” Insert cheesy smile.

“That’s good. You’re done with your packet, right?” She’s not even paying attention to me. She focused on her make-up mirror that is hanging on the wall behind her desk.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Well, then would you mind running an errand for me?” She starts messing with something on her face and then takes out her purse.

“Sure, Mrs. Byrne.” Oh, dear God. No more make-up. Don’t add any more make-up. She’s already got three inches thick of crap plastered to her face, what good is more going to do?

“All right. Would you go to the different classes and hand out those reminders for me?” She points to this stack of papers on her desk and I am praising God that I have an excuse to not look at her.

“The room numbers and names are written on each sheet. Can you go deliver them now?” I can hear her voice, but I’m not turning around. Not for all the money in the world.

“Okay.” All right, Liz. Grab the papers and run before she asks you how she looks.

“Can I come with her, Mrs. Byrne?” The ‘Mighty Comet’ Kyle asks. No. No. No. You’re slowing me down.

She kind of just stares at him a little and I’m hoping she’ll tell him no, but she doesn’t. “Are you done with your packet?”

“Um… yes, ma’am.” Damn lady. Of course he finished his paper. He copied mine.

“All right. You can go, Kyle.” Damn it. Double double double damn it. You know what? I don’t care anymore. I’m already out into the hallway, walking as fast as I can.


--------------


“So… Liz Parker.” And my blissful silence is interrupted by the walking talking jockstrap himself.

“Kyle?” I refuse to even look at him. I don’t know why. He hasn’t done anything wrong to me other than unwelcomingly invading my mission of errand delivery.

“I get the feeling that you hate me, Liz Parker.” I finally glance at him and he kind of shrugs.

“Now why would you think that?” Other than the fact that I’m walking as far away from him as possible, on the other side of the hallway.

“Lucky guess?” He gives me this kind of sad and somberish smile. And I’m starting to feel bad. I am a sucker for puppy-dog faces. I just can’t help but give in. There’s just something about the small and vulnerable look that gets to me.

So I stop walking. “Kyle, I don’t hate you.”

“Okay. That’s good, Liz Parker.” He’s got a smile on his face now, and I’m suddenly wondering why I always fall for sad faces when I know they’re fake. “So… where are we supposed to be going, Liz Parker?”

And now I remember why I hate, correction, strongly dislike him so much. He’s fucking annoying. And apparently he disagrees with me on my theory of last names being overrated. I don’t like being disagreed with.

Sigh. “Well, Kyle. It says here,” glance down at the paper, “Mr. Brown’s room, 224.” And off I go again, speed walking as fast as I can.

“Liz Parker?” God damn it. What the hell is with this guy and full names? Does he just want to waste his breath with the extra syllables?

And you know what? I’m actually mad, angry, pissed off, and overly annoyed with this guy. And when the anger bubbles, little Lizzie boils away. “What do you want?!”

“Liz Parker, 228 is that way.” He points behind him down a different hall.

“Oh.” Well, just perfect. Just freaking great. I walk past Kyle and he’s kind of laughing at me. Did I ever tell you that I don’t like it when people laugh at me? Well, I don’t. Why won’t he just… go away?

“Hey Kyle.” The voice kind of pops up from behind us.

“Hello Courtney Walker.” Kyle stops walking and starts talking to the blondie in a short skirt. And I smile. Perfect timing. Kyle is busy and distracted with the ditz. So while they are off talking and flirting or what ever it is that they do, I’m walking away and heading towards 228. Don’t you just love it when things work out for the best? Especially when it’s in your favor?

All right. 225. 226. 228. Bingo. Knock on the door, and a thin balding man with glasses answers. “Hello.”

“Hi. I’m… um… Mrs. Byrne gave me these reminders to send to your class.” Insert shy smile. He smiles back. And we’re all good.

“All right. Thank you.” He takes the papers and I leave, down the hall. See? That wasn’t so bad. Not at all. I can do this. All right. Next class, 250. Let’s go. 243. 245. 249. 250. Here we are. Knock on the door and a tall blonde lady opens it. “Hi. These are from Mrs. Byrne.”

“Oh, good.” She kind of scans over them. “Thank you.” She smiles at me. I smile at her. And then I start down the hall again as she shuts the door. It’s all good.

Next class. 245. Hey. I’ve passed that class already. So all I have to do is back up, turn around and I’m there. And I knock. A weird looking bald man with a weird mustache opens the door. “Mrs. Byrne said to give these papers to you.”

He takes them from me and looks them over. “Are you in her class right now?”

“Yes.” I nod my head and he’s looking at me.

He kind of thinks for a while and I’m wondering if I should go away. “Would you mind taking something down to her for me?”

“Um… sure.” Hell, I’m already running errands for one teacher, what’s doing it for another teacher going to hurt?

“All right, would you take this down to her for me?” He points to a stack of books and I just stare at it. We’re talking like about seven or so huge ass heavy textbooks here. Wimpy little me can’t carry all of that.

“Um… these books?” I point to them, waiting for confirmation. And he nods at me. I guess so.

All right, Liz. You can do this. Let’s show them what little girls are made of. I pick up two books and I drop them. What the hell? These books weigh like a gazillion pounds. No one can carry these, let alone me.

I glance kind of nervously at the teacher guy who is now behind his desk. “Um… they’re kind of… heavy.”

But the teacher guy doesn’t even lift his head from the paper he’s looking over. “Someone help her.” And suddenly, about the entire classroom stands up. And I’ve suddenly just realized that the entire classroom is filled with guys. And two guys, Sean and Paul, are already grabbing at the books.

“We’ll help you out, Liz.” Sean winks at me, and I suddenly feel violated and completely grossed out. Eww…

Someone clears their throat rather loudly and suddenly the room goes quiet, everyone sitting back down in their seat. Even Sean and Paul have magically plopped back down in their chairs. And someone steps in front of me…

“I’ll help you.” And the room stills, everyone is silent. Music plays, flowers bloom, birds sing. Okay, not really. But I just kind of stare at him like the stupid idiot that I am while he stands there and kind of smirks at me.

“Um… hi, Max.” God, how lame was that?

“Hi, Liz.” He takes steps closer to me, and I could swear that he was going to grab me and kiss me senseless right then and there, but it doesn’t happen. Instead, he walks right past me and miraculously picks up all of the books with ease. If that isn’t impressive, I don’t know what is. I bet even Paul and Sean couldn’t do that, combined.

And I’m looking retarded again at I stare as him while he’s obviously waiting for me to open the door. Stupid, stupid, stupid Liz. Rush over, and pull open the door as I walk out.

“Sorry about that.” Smile shyly.

“No problem, Liz.” And he gives me a full-blown smile while we’re out in the hallway together. Alone. Can’t you just see my mind wandering to places where no little girl has gone before? Hehe…

“What?”

“Huh? Did you say something?” Look at him and he’s got this somewhat amused smile on his face.

“What’s so funny?” He’s stopped walking now and is staring at me.

“What are you talking about?” God, this guy has like completely gone insane hearing things or something.

He kind of just chuckles and smiles. “You were snickering.”

I was? Wait a minute. “I was?”

More chuckling from him. “Yes, you were.”

“Oh, okay.” Just keep walking and pretend it didn’t happen. God, I’ve really got to start realizing when I’m doing some of these things out loud. See, boys and girls? That’s what happens when you live in your head all of the time.

“Care to share?” Max is walking next to me again.

“No. Not really.” I shake my head and cross my arms over my chest. What? Like I’m really going to tell him that I was having somewhat x-rated thoughts about him. Dream on.

“Oh, come on.” He’s taunting me now. I was never to keen to taunting. It’s not a very nice thing to do.

“Look.” I grab his arm to stop him from walking. Wow. He’s very, very… muscular… wait. No. No, no, no. Our mind is not going to go down that road again. “I don’t feel like telling you, nor will I be telling you. So drop it.”

He gives me this sad look before we start walking down the hall again. And I feel bad. Why am I yelling at him for? I feel really bad. So bad that I was about to turn to him and apologize. About to… except for that fact that he muttered under his breath, “P. M. S.”

Didn’t guys know better than to go into that territory? That it’s not where they should be sticking their nosy little heads? And now, not only am I frustrated with the guy, I’m over the top angry. “What the hell is your problem?!”

He turns and stares at me. “My problem?”

“Yes. Your problem!” Just because I’m short doesn’t mean I can’t stare the guy down.

“What’s your problem?” He looks at me with a glare now. Oh great. Now, he’s turning the table on me.

“You want to know what my problem is? It’s you.” I know, not the cleverest thing to say, but at least I came up with that.

“Oh really?” He smiling and taking steps closer to me.

“Yes. Really.” I stare at him hard and he suddenly frowns a bit, dropping the books on the ground with a big thud as each one hit the ground. And suddenly, he pushes me up against the lockers and is attacking me. Well, more like his lips are attacking mine, but it’s all the same.

It takes me a second to get over the shock of it all to start kissing him back. But, like I said, this guy is unpredictable. And he kisses… so… wow. Incredible. I’m pulling him down closer to me, deepening the kiss, when suddenly, the bell in the hallway rings. And he pulls away from me at lightning speed, picking up the books and heading down the hall, mixing in with the rest of the kids as they came out of their classrooms.

But before he vanishes around a corner, I can see him look back at me, a smirk on his face, winking his eye. And I just lean back against the locker, licking my lips. Like I said, unpredictable…


--------------


Get Well Soon Liz!

It’s the sign that’s hung up in my locker.

Get Well Soon Liz!

You ever get the feeling that there’s actually more to it than what it’s saying?

Get Well Soon Liz!

What the hell does it mean, ‘get well’? Does it mean physically, mentally, spiritually? I think I’m reading too much into it. And yet it’s still there.

Get Well Soon Liz!

Written in bright, pretty colors, mocking me, telling me that I’m not well. That I’m not sane. Rubbing it in my face that I’m less than perfect; an awful lot less than perfect, and that my life just completely sucks ass.

Get Well Soon Liz!

“Fucking damn sign.” Snap the wrist and the locker door goes… shut. Closing with a nice bang of a clang, giving me a good sense of closure. Yup. What ever it is that’s bugging me, it’s easily covered up and gotten rid of. Just like the UFO crash back in ’47. A little cover up here, a few threats there, and it’s all good. Who cares that they fucked up a bunch of people along the way, turning the place into a quiet little tourist trap of a town. Nice ain’t it?

Yeah. I thought so too. But the alien thing isn’t all that bad. Well, unless you take it seriously, like some of the wacko-s in this town. Yeah. All of the wacko-s. The entire town is made up of them. It makes me feel right at home.

Me and my strange self, off to chemistry class. Yay! My favorit-est class of the day. Really, it is. There was not sarcasm there. No siree bob. Chemistry is the coolest class around. The chemicals, the labs, the write-ups, and the precise and planned out procedures… sigh… it’s like heaven. I’m not a dork. Really, I’m not. I just… love science. It’s my favorite subject.

And apparently I seem to be the only one who likes it. Or at least I’m the only one who shows it. Maybe I shouldn’t look so eager while I sit and wait for him to take roll so we can start our labs. Max brought me the packet for it the other day and of what I’ve read about it in the packet, it’s a very interesting assignment with unknown mystery solutions, group cations, and centrifuging. Boy, what fun!

Coach Schierling finally finishes checking off that all of about ten of the people in the class are all here and begins. “Okay. So everyone has their packets for the Qualitative Analysis of Group I and Group II Cations that you should still have from the other day.” Everyone kind of grunts in affirmation.

“Each person is assigned a number and the numbers are which test tube you have, filled with the unknowns. Each test tube is different, so I suggest you do your own work.” More grunting.

“You have all week to work on the lab. You won’t need to do a lab write up. All I want is a flow chart of both Group Cations and a separate paper telling me what your unknown chemicals are.” He starts to walk back to sit behind his desk with his computer, but stands up again.

“Oh, another thing I forgot the mention, this is a double major test grade. So do your best.” More groans are heard around the room, but I’m excited. Oh, the joys of science. The mystery of it all just gets me so… ecstatic. So much, I bet there’s probably a little bounce in my step. So I’m practically skipping to get all of my supplies to set up.

Okay, I’m first to get to the cabinet to gather my things. And everything is all lined up in lines and in neat little rows on their shelves. This is my kind of shopping. All right. Safety goggles, apron, test tube rack, centrifuge test tubes, pipets, graduated cylinder, stirring rod, test tube tongs, a 50-mL beaker, and a 250-mL beaker. All set.

I start heading back to the table that I share with Michael and Tess, but stop myself. This is a double major grade. Do I really want to crowd around at one lab table and risk my grade? I mean, this is a pretty heavy-duty lab that requires a lot of space and focus. Shift on one foot, shift on the other. Hmm… what to do, what to do.

Ahh… screw it. If he’s just going to pretend as though the whole thing hadn’t happened, so will I. “Hey, Max. Scoot over.”

“Yes, Liz?” He lifts his head up and looks at me. And can you say a-dor-a-ble? He looks so cute in his little apron and with his safety goggles on. Okay. Only a nerdy dorky scientist would say something like that. But hey, at least I’m admitting to myself that I am a nerdy dorky scientist.

“Can I do my lab here? There doesn’t seem to be room anywhere else.” He looks a bit hesitant, glancing around the room and then sighs, giving in and moving his things to one side of the table. And I set my things down. Hehe… I love it when I get my way.

I set up all of my materials and put on my goggles and apron. Max has already got the hot plate turned on and water boiling. And apparently, we get a centrifuge all to ourselves while the rest of the class shares the other one. That’s not really fair. But then again, no one else seems to be doing the lab. Snoozers are snoozing. Ass-kissers are up at Coach Schierling’s computer, praising him for his excellent skills at solitaire and tidying up his desk for him. And Michael and Tess are… well… being Michael and Tess. Each with their sketchbook and magazine, respectively. Go figure.

Oh well, not my problem anyway. Hop over to the table and check the list. Liz Parker: #4. Yay! I get the unknown solution number four. Four is my favorite number. Isn’t it great? I grab my test tube and a tub of other things I need. PH paper, bottles of aqueous ammonia, thioacetamide, ammonium chloride, potassium hydroxide, nitric acid, red litmus paper, blue litmus paper, you know, those kinds of things.

And I skip back to my table, well, Max’s table, to start my lab. And I’m in a pretty good mood, considering I was kissed senseless by the hunk himself during second period. And then ignored by him all during third period and lunch. And now it’s fourth period. Yup. Happy, happy, happy. I’m just a big ball of happiness. I’m not confused. Not at all.

“Liz, watch out.” Max pulls my arm back and I just now notice that I was just about to place it on the hot plate without even thinking. That would have been bad. A big no, no. Burnt skin never smells good this time of day.

“Great. Just freaking great.” I start busying myself, trying to focus on my lab. But Max pulls the test tube out of my hand.

“Are you okay?” He’s looking at me with that look. You know, the one that makes your insides quiver and your heart race? Yeah. Well, that look.

“No. I’m not okay, Max.” He gets another look, the kicked puppy kind of look that would normally get me feeling sorry and guilty in a split second, but I ignore it. “What is with you? You kiss me in the hallway and then now you’re pretending as though it didn’t happen?”

And guess what he does? He just shrugs. That’s right, shrugs. “It’s a kiss.”

“Oh, I get it.” I grab the test tube from him and go back to working on my lab. Nope I don’t get it, and I don’t plan on trying to get it. There’s no fucking point and I have an awfully bad feeling that I’m just going to end up feeling worse in the end. So it’s better to just not analyze the whole thing.

Just forget it, as though it had never happened. Forget all of the thoughts that ran through your head of him flirting with you some more and the kisses and him asking you out. Those were never his intentions. You had him completely wrong. Yup, drop the test tube into boiling water with a plunk. Completely and freakingly unpredictable…


-------------------------------------------------



[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 8:06:34 PM ]
posted on 16-Apr-2002 11:21:21 PM by LiLEvEe
Hehe… I bet you guys thought that that guy in the hallway was Max though, not Alex. Hehe… evil evil person you are Evelynn. All right. I already have part 23 in the making so hopefully I can get it out to you soon! Maybe… if you give me feedback. Come on, pay the piper… hehe….
posted on 18-Apr-2002 8:27:16 AM by LiLEvEe
Okay, first of all, thank you everyone for their wonderful feedback. Next, about the Max POV that everyone is nagging me for. I will do one if I have time. But it won’t be for a long long long while. Not until after the problem in this story is revealed. And yes, although you think you might know what the problem in this story is, you have no idea. With all of the things that I want to happen, it’s probably going to take me a lot of parts to finally get it all out. Is that all right? Oh, and I plan on managing my floating chapter in, I just still need a lot more to happen inbetween. Specifically, a lot more Max and Liz interaction and things. Thanks again. I hope to get another part out tonight, if possible!!!
posted on 18-Apr-2002 10:20:28 PM by LiLEvEe
*


[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 8:08:14 PM ]
posted on 19-Apr-2002 12:03:16 AM by LiLEvEe
Thank you everyone for their feedback!! It's great to hear from you. Anyway, I already have the next part in the making. Hopefully, I'll get it done and post it while I'm waiting for an update to Abby's story ((I just love her story)).

Crimps321 : thanks for reading. I'm glad you liked it!!
Kitcat26 : Thanks for reading and thanks for your feedback!! Kyle was never meant to be a threat in anyway. I don't approve of Kyle with Liz. Or Sean with Liz. Or anyone other than Max with Liz. Or anyone other than Liz with Max. CC all the way!! I'll try to hurry up the storyline and get the Max POV out. Other than that, I can't tell you anymore. If I told you what happens, there won't be anything to keep you coming back for more.
Nayney : Thanks for reading and thank you for your feedback!!
Eraser Room : Hehe... Thank you so much for your feedback!! I'm glad you are supporting my floating chapter, even though you don't even know what it's about. It'll be a while before I can fix it in, but we'll see if you can guess which one it is.
mermaidgirl : Thanks for reading and thank you for the feedback!! I'll try to get the next part out soon!! Everything else will remain a mystery... to keep you coming back for more!!
aZNroSweLl anglgrl : Thank you for reading and thank you for the feedback!! I'll post more as soon as it's done.
Audio Poet : Thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback!!
Eccentric One : Was that their first kiss? Eh... I don't know. I mean, everyone tends to dream a bit huh. I guess you'll just have to keep reading to figure it out. Oh, and very good observations on the books thing with Max clearing his throat. Although I have part of the next chapter already written, the beginning, I'm not so sure myself what it's going to be about. I know where I want to take the story, but I'm going ot have to twist it and turn it a bit to get it there. We'll see what happens. And yes, the Max POV will come out later on, thanks to your insistance. Oh, and thank you for the encouragement. I hope I do well on Saturday too.

Which is why I probably won't be adding a chapter until maybe Sunday after I get this next chapter added. As soon as I get home on Friday, I am going straight to sleep. Last week, the acting classes tired me out so badly. And I don't want to be dull during my audition. Thank you everyone again for reading and for your feedback!!

*small note: does anyone else notice how much faster the board is?? It's like... whoa!!

Oh, special thanks to Kitcat26, Eraser Room and Eccentric One for their long feedbacks. You know I love 'em!!!

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 19-Apr-2002 12:05:45 AM ]
posted on 19-Apr-2002 1:51:11 AM by LiLEvEe
*


[ edited 2 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 8:08:23 PM ]
posted on 19-Apr-2002 6:27:51 PM by LiLEvEe
-------------------------------------------------


Chapter Nine



“Does it fit?” Maria’s voice comes through muffled by the bathroom door.

“Yeah. It fits.” Not really, it’s kind of big still, but it’s not like I want to be wearing a skin tight catsuit a la Britney Spears kind of thing. But then again, a little smaller and a little more skin might help rack in a few more tips. Maybe I should ask for a smaller uniform.

“Good. Because that’s the smallest size there is.” I guess not. Staring at myself in the mirror. God, this dress is just so… hideous.

When I said that the uniforms for the Crashdown weren’t all that bad, I was wrong. You tend to look at it in a different light when you are forced to don one on for size.

Sigh. Well, I have to come out sooner or later. No sense in prolonging the inevitable. Open the door and step out.

“All right, Liz. It’s your first day,” Maria is apparently showing me the ropes. “Although waitressing doesn’t seem like all that hard of a job. It actually is. It’s really kind of like an… art.”

“An art?” And art? Is she kidding me? I could compare waitressing to many things, but never would I compare it to being an art.

“Yes. An art. It’s like acting. All right? Picture this. You are your everyday, quiet, little, friendly waitress at a small and quaint little diner, serving the public with a continuous upbeat attitude and perky smiles. Just like in the movies. Okay, grab this.” She shoves a pen and an order pad into my hands. “Now, go get ‘em, tiger.” And she pushes me into the dining area and up to a booth.

All right, Liz. Take deep breaths. You can do this. Plaster a cheesy smile on your face and you’re all set. “Welcome to the Crashdown Café. I’m Liz and I’ll be your waitress this evening. Are you ready to order?”

A very familiar pair of brown eyes peak from behind their menu and he smirks at me. “Hey there, babe.”

Ugh… I really don’t want to have to put up with this right now. “Hello Sean.” Why do I feel completely freaked out when I’m around him? All right, just remember, friendly, upbeat waitress with a smile. “Can I take your order?”

He glances around the diner a bit, as though looking for something before he smirks and looks at me again. “Why don’t you have a seat with me, Liz?”

“I’m working, Sean. So I really don’t think that would be such a good idea.” Yup. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

“Come on, Liz. Take a break and join me.” He’s pushing it. Have I mentioned that I also hate being pushed?

“I would, Sean. But I just started my shift about ten minutes ago. I don’t think they’ll let me take a break right now.” Not like I’d spend my break sitting with him anyway.

He reaches out and runs his hand up and down my arm. It kind of tingles. “Come on, Liz. Join me.”

“How about, no.” A voice says from behind me and I’m suddenly pulled away from Sean by none other than Mr. Kiss-and-Diss, himself.

And I’m annoyed. If this guy is going to pretend as though nothing happened between us, then he has no right to interfere with any part of my life. “Max. What do you think you’re…”

But he gives me another one of his looks. One that magically gets me to shut-up and give in to what ever the hell he wants. And what he wants right now is for me to be compliant and stand behind him while he plays Superman, protecting Lois Lane from the evil Lex Luther.

And when Max notices that I’m complying to his wishes, he turns back around and faces Sean. “I’ve warned you.” He crosses his arms over his chest and gives Sean the evil death glare.

Sean kind of holds his hands up in defense. “I know, Max. But you see…”

But Max cuts him off, taking a step closer to him and talking in a low voice. “Go to Tess.”

“What? Max, No!” Seans’s shaking his head. “No, I didn’t…”

“I saw you.” Max takes a glance back at me. I guess he’s wanting to make sure I’m still standing behind him, being obedient.

Sean’s still shaking his head. “It wasn’t what it looked like. It wasn’t. I…”

“You touched her.” I can’t see Max’s face, but I can hear the disgust in his voice. Yeah. I was appalled by the Sean touching me thing too.

And Sean’s still shaking his head. “I know, but…”

Max leans in. “You were doing it again. Weren’t you?” And he starts advancing in on Sean.

“What? Max…”

“You were doing it again. Weren’t you?!” Max’s voice was louder and more forceful.

“No I wasn’t…” Sean’s still shaking his head frantically. And I’m surprised his neck wasn’t aching from all of the head jerking.

“I told you to stay away from her. But you didn’t listen, did you? I’ve warned you and you were going to just do it again?! Openly defying me?!” Max is yelling. And I’m scared. His shoulders are tense and his fists are clenched and he looks as though he were going to hurt Sean… very badly.

Sean apparently thinks so too, because the boy is quivering and cowering. And Max’s voice comes out menacing and hushed. “Go to Tess.”

“No. Please Max. Give me another chance.”

“I’ve given you plenty of chances. Now go!” He points towards the door and Sean bows his head and leaves.

And I am staring at Max, mouth hanging open, just like everyone else in the entire diner, staring at him while he’s taking deep breaths and calming down from his anger high.

And he turns to me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” And I can feel his hand running up and down my arm, where Sean had touched me before. But the tingling that went through me from Max was completely different from Sean. I feel more comforted and warm, not chilly and freaked out.

“Are you sure?” He’s probably just still emotional because he’s still running his hand up and down my arm. He hasn’t realized what he’s done just yet.

But he’s going to have to acknowledge it sooner or later. And I think it’ll be better sooner than later. “Max?”

“Hmm?” He seems to be in a daze of some sort. It’s probably still the anger high. I turn my head and look around the room. Max seems to get the hint and looks around at everyone staring at him. And it slowly, but surely, comes to him. You can practically pinpoint it to the second when it finally hits him and his eyes go all wide. “Shit.”

“It’s okay, Max.” I smile at him and try to calm him down a bit. “It’s not a big deal.”

But he doesn’t calm down and he doesn’t smile back. Instead, he turns slowly and stares at every person in the room until they kind of lower their head. And when he looks at me, he’s glaring. And my smile drops from my face.

He huffs a bit, but when he’s arrogant like this, I’ll be damned if I back down. So now I’m glaring back. And we’re just there, glaring at each other. Until he finally steps back and heads out the door, leaving.

And I feel a small pull in my gut, and it tugs at me. The silence in the room isn’t helping much either. In fact, it’s making it worse. There’re tugs and stares. Tugs and stares and silence. Tugs, stares, and silence…


--------------



“Guess what I heard…”
“You don’t say…”
“It’s true…”
“But he…”
“Really…”
“Oh my God…”


“You won’t believe what happened.” One girl runs past me and says, in the loudest whisper she could, to another girl at her locker.

First girl’s leaning into the second girl’s ear and the second girl’s eyes bulge out of their sockets. Okay, not really, but almost. “No. You don’t say?”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was just one of the hundreds of conversations I have heard. Shut my locker and walk away. I don’t need to hear any more of that. Nope, I’ve heard it over and over again, since yesterday evening at the Crashdown, to right now as another set of people start talking in loud hushed voices.

God, how everyone’s talking, it’s as though the moon’s blown up or the president’s been killed. Or at least that someone in school gave the entire football team blowjobs in less than an hour, beating Pam Troy’s record. But, nope. That’s not what’s happened.

“I can’t believe it. Are you sure?” Another Miss Britney Spears wannabe bounces around in an overly skimpy schoolgirl getup.

You’d think that everyone might have had something better to talk about and waste their time gossiping over. You’d think that, wouldn’t you? But, nope. They wouldn’t. because everyone and anyone aims to be shallow and superficial. Hell, even I’m superficial. Playing a part. Being little Lizzie like everyone wants me to be.

“He did? Oh my God.” Another girl with her hands on her face, doing the Macaulay Culkin thing in the Home Alone flicks.

And it hits me. Damn it. He was doing it too. Being a character, just like I was. Playing the part that everyone wanted him to play. And suddenly, I feel like an ass. Forget that he glared at me, or that he dissed me, or anything else he might have done to me. When you feel the guilt, you feel it head on.

And I just can’t believe that I hadn’t fully realized the extent and the depth of the entire affair. I didn’t grasp the meaning, the worth and the value behind it all. And it sucks that it took an imitation teeny bopper and a rip-off signature action of an overworked victim of child labor to get me to realize it.

But it’s not my fault. Damn it. Yes it is. He was just helping you and that’s why it happened. But then again, he didn’t have to help me. He chose that on his own. Did you really want to be manhandled by Sean? No, damn it. But… it was his own fault that he got angry. He should have controlled his temper. But that’s what you were there for, to help him control his temper. No, I’m not. You saw it coming though. You should have tried to calm him down. You knew he was about to blow it. No I didn’t. Yes, you did. Nope. Lizzie… Damn it! God fucking damn it!!

So, according to the little voice in my head, I’m the one at fault. And the guilt is here to stay. Double damn it! I mean, I’ve watched him. I’ve seen how he acts. And this was him. The whole shy and quiet super-genius was all a part of his character. He lost his character and I had the nerve to tell him that it wasn’t a bit deal? No wonder he glared at me. Damn it!

And all through class, that’s all it was. More girls, more gossiping, and more guilt. My conscience was kind of kicking me a little more as the time flew. And each class it was the same. Max would walk in, the room would go quiet, and he would sit down at his table. Then all of the frenzied hushed gossip would start and the stares at the back of the room to his corner would follow.

And Max would just focus on his book, taking it all in stride. How could he do that? How could he just go on while knowing that everyone is talking about him? And that there are more stares than usual flowing his way. And that he’s suddenly lost his character. Everyone needs their character, their wall to hide behind, their façade to put up. Is that it, or am I just totally blowing this out of proportion?

Glance at Max and I find him staring right back at me… with that look. He’s not glaring. Oh, no. I don’t tolerate glaring. It’s that look… the kicked puppy look. The one that makes everyone go awww. And the one that gets sappy me, standing knee high in my guilt. Damn it…

“Can you believe this?” Maria’s on one of her anger rants again. “You’d think it was enough that I had to hear about him about seventy percent of the time on a normal day. And now, he’s all everyone is talking about. Max, Max, Max. It’s not like he’s all that interesting.”

I hear Maria as she babbles, but my eyes are still locked with Max’s. And his face is still adorned with the saddest look ever. Aww… and my conscience is eating at me again.

“Oh, come on, Maria.” Apparently Alex is here as well, seeing as how I hear his voice. “Of course Max is all that everyone is talking about. Yesterday was history in the making. And you aren’t glad to have been there to see it all, first hand? Gosh, it’s something you can tell your grandkids about. I wish I was there.”

Aww… is his bottom lip quivering? His bottom lip is quivering. Oh my gosh. Damn it… damn it… kick me while I’m down why don’t you. His bottom lip is quivering and it’s all my fault.

“Yeah. I guess I am lucky to have been there.” Maria sighs. “That whole thing was so old fashion, anyway. I mean, it was about time it happened. So, Liz. Are we still on for shopping?”

What? Wait. Give me a second. I’m still busy with Max. I still need to… never mind. He went back to his book. Sigh. “What were you saying, Maria?”

“Shopping, dear. Are we still going shopping?”

“Yeah.” Nod head as though enthusiastic about it. “Of course.”

But I don’t think I nodded my head enough because Maria gives me this look. “What were you looking at anyway?” She turns towards the back corner of the room.

“I was… um… looking at that poster back there. It’s pretty funny, don’t you think?” Hmm… I wonder what they would think if I had actually told them that I had been having a staring contest with Max? Well, I guess I’ll never know.

“What’s so funny about the poster?” Alex and Maria are both staring back at it. “I don’t find it funny.” Alex shakes his head and turns towards me.

Maria follows, nodding her head. “Yeah, and Alex is the corniest person on earth. If he’s not laughing…”

“No, it’s funny. Because… there’s a bear. And the bear has a bubble that he’s talking. And… and bears don’t talk.” Lame, I know. But who cares. It’s something in my character to say. My character is lame. I wonder what Max’s character would have said. But wait… Little Bo-Max has lost his character and doesn’t know where to find it. And it’s all my fault…

“Liz, sweetie.” Alex grabs my hand and pats it. “The nice bear in the poster that’s telling you that ‘only you can prevent forest fires’, he’s not real, dear. It’s a drawing. He’s not actually talking.”

And Maria starts laughing. Well, at least she finds it funny. I, particularly, don’t like being talked to like I’m a five year old. “I know that, Alex.”

“Just making sure, Liz.” He lets go of my hand. “I don’t want to have to tell mom and dad that we need to start sending you to a therapist now.”

But I just roll my eyes and pick up my things and head to off to my next class, which passed by with nothing but gossip, whispers and guilt. Gossip, whispers and guilt. And third period was pretty much the same, throwing in puppy dog looks from Max and death glares from the blonde hussies around him. But then, the death glares have always been there. So we can overlook them. But the kicked puppy faces and the quivering lip… they had me to where I was now drowning in guilt. God damn it…

So here we are, now, sitting in the quad, watching as everyone still had their hushed whispers going around. But me, Maria, and Michael just sit. We don’t talk. No, we just sit. It’s a somewhat comforting silence now, as we just sit. Michael with his sketchbook. Maria with her cheesy puffs. And me with my nifty little water bottle. Just sitting. A minute passes. And we sit. Another minute passes. Sit, sit, sit. Another second passes.

“Damn it! I can’t take it anymore.” Grab my things up, including my nifty little water bottle, and storm on over. I can’t handle the guilt, it’s too much with the kicked puppy look and the quivering lips... Grr…

And here I am, standing in front of him. Feeling stupid without anything to say. See what happens when you don’t plan things out? This is why you always, always have a plan. “Max?” He doesn’t even look up from his book. “Can I have a seat?”

Still no answer so I just plop myself down on the ground. “So, how’s school been?” As you can see, I’m somewhat beating around the bush.

And he doesn’t answer. Nope, he just turns the page in his book and keeps on reading. Or supposedly reading, since his eyes aren’t really going over the words, they kind of just remain in one spot. He’s flipping pages just to be able to flip pages. Because this situation is awkward. I always have a tendency to make things awkward. I’m just an awkward person.

“So…” I just… I can’t… I don’t know what to say. Help me out here. What does he want me to say? How am I supposed to make it all better when I don’t know how? And he isn’t helping either, flipping another page to his book.

“So… how are things?” Hey, at least I’m trying. And it gets him to stop his reading and put his book away. And I actually think that I’m making progress. That is, until he pulls another book out of his bag and starts reading again.

Damn it… “Max, come on-”

“Parker.” Someone interrupts me. You know how much I hate being interrupted right? Absolutely hate it.

“Was there something you wanted, Pam?” I look up towards them and then scoot more towards Max. I’m really not all that interested in looking up her short skimpy cheerleader skirt right now.

“Yeah.” The glares are coming from her and her two spirit dronies. “It’s lunch time, and I’d like to have mine.”

“By all means, Pam. I’m not stopping you.” I turn back to Max, who still has his head ducked into the book, but I can see the makings of a smile on his face.

“Look, Parker.” She steps closer towards Max. And I’m pretty sure Max had a good view of her ass had his eyes not been glued to his book. “I know you have a little thing for my Max here, but let’s get real for a second, shall we? Max doesn’t want you. After all, you’re a little… undeveloped. So move out of my spot.”

Okay. So, she’s dissing me. Let’s think, does she have a right to be dissing me? No. Will I be letting her get away with dissing me? Hell no. All right. “Yeah? Well, unlike yours, mine at least look real. How much did those things cost you anyway?”

“These,” she points to her enormous balloons of boobs. “Are all me, honey. And, trust me, any guy would rather want mine than yours.”

Oh, please… “Mine may be a little small, but at least they aren’t the size of hot air balloons. After all, bigger isn’t always better. Right, Max?”

“Max…” Pam whines out while she squats down, rubbing up next to him. “Tell her you’d choose me over her, any day.”

And everyone is waiting, staring at Max for a response, for any response. And Max finally closes his book, sets it aside and lifts his head to look at me with a wicked glint in his eyes.

And I’m thinking, shit. Hell. I’ve just set myself up for the biggest humiliation of my life. Being shown up by Pom-Pom Pam Troy. Well, it’s my own fucking fault. Max is angry with me. And this is his chance for revenge to get me back. And you know what? I’m sucking it in and taking it in stride.

“Blondes are nice.” His voice comes out and I hang my head in shame. “But I’m more partial to brunettes.”

And do you feel the smile forming on my face? I feel the smile forming on my face. It’s the kind that starts out slowly and creeps its way up until it’s a full blow goofy grin. That kind of smile. I wait and I hear the bleach-blonde bimbos huff and stalk away, leaving a stench of peroxide in their wake. And when I lift my head, my eyes lock with Max. And he’s glaring at me.

I know, the glaring is really getting to me, but it’s not all that bad. Not bad at all… because I can see the corner of his lips twitching, trying to stop from smiling. Which makes me, in turn, smile. Full and blown out smile, flashing my pearly whites and all as all of the guilt washes off of me. And I believe onion-boy had gone and refound his character. And even with the glares, I’m actually starting to like this one.


-------------------------------------------------



[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 8:08:54 PM ]
posted on 19-Apr-2002 10:48:21 PM by LiLEvEe
Wow. I got feedback!! That's cool. That's always cool. So anyway.

Since everyone is so freaking confused, I thought I was going to be nice and get another chapter out after I woke up from my nap about tne minutes ago, but when I started to type it up, I just got so freaking tired and lazy.

And it's Friday too. I have to do my laundry. Or else I tend to run out of socks. Can't have that now can we? Nope. So the next part will just have to wait till maybe tomorrow night if I feel up to it ((Feedback always help, lengthy ones at that)) but my best bet is Sunday night.

But then I have a partner essay I have to do for U. S. History. So don't count too much on that. A.P. Tests and SAT's are coming up. Everything is hectic.

And I have my audition tomorrow and my acting classes. And god damn it, I can not find my script to my play and it is freaking pissing me off. And the teacher last week specifically said, do not lose your script. Darn it. Oh well, it's just my morning acting class. It's not as fun as my afternoon acting class. I'm basically just taking the morning one to add to my resume.

So, the confusion. Yes, it is there. That's the thing with first person writing, you don't get the whole story. But I do... hehe... since it is all playing in my head and I'm just writing it down. I thought, since I wasn't going to get another part out, that I'd be nice and explain a few things. Like the 'alien hierarchy' that everyone is so confused and intrigued about. But then I thought about it again and was like... nah. Because then what fun would a Max POV ((That Eccentric One is convinced I will have to put out)) going to be?

By the way, I haven't got feedback from Kara yet. I guess I'll have to wait for what she's got to say before I go off to bed. But then again, I don't know if I can wait that long. I mean, these bags under my eyes seem to be getting bigger and bigger.

Anuhow, I have decided though that I'm going to answer feedback. That way, this little note or whatever it is won't all go to waste. So:

Mica : Thanks for the feedback!!! Thanks for the compliment!! Flattery always helps. THe ego boost tends to make writers think that they are invincible and that they don't need sleep and so stay up all night getting chapters out. Well, at least that's how I think.
Rapunzel : Thanks for liking my story. ANd yes. Sean creeps us all out. In the story and in the show. The conversation was confusing. Yes. But it was meant to be that way. Especially since Liz doesn't understand it. So the reader doesn't understand it. And the Tess thing will be answered. The Tess thing has always been there. But I've made it more known in this part. I'm not saying any more than that. And yeah, everyone wants Max to be nice to Liz. But there's a reason why he kind of just gets angry. And if he were just nice to Liz, what would the fun in that be? I have this thing where I always want people to have to suffer a bit and get angry and struggle. The whole star-crossed lovers bit kind of thing.
Jbehrbabe : All caught up?? Thanks for reading, by the way. The Tess thing will be answered later on. But I will say this. Max is powerful. Yes. And Max pulls his authority out of a hat.
kittens : Yes. 26 words. Thanks. I hadn't even bothered counting it. That whole situation will be addressed in the next chapter. In fact, I can tell you now that it is practically takes over the entire next chapter, even though I haven't written it. But the story has played out in my mind. Everyone is interested int heir status rank aren't they? Well, I can't tell you. It'll come out soon enough. It gets kind of confusing though.
Mary N 008 : Thank you for reading my sotyr. I'm glad that you found it and that you like it. I will tell you that, yes, they are aliens. Apparently he does have a thing for Liz. Sean is a creep. I really hadn't meant anything by everyone being different to her when she got back into school. It was more of a point of artificial concern or something like that. But hey, if you saw it, then it must be there. The claiming thing, still confuses me too. Liz working at the Crashdown was inevitable. You'll see why I have her working in the chapter after the next. That chapter is going to be a big chapter for Liz. Don't ask me why. I just know. Ed Harding will come soon. And yes, he is waiting for something. God knows what. And whatever other questions you have, jsut throw them at me.
RoswellJunky : Thanks for your feedback!! Thank you for your flattery too. It always helps. Ego boosts are a plus. I'll try to get the next part out as soon as possible, well, or course I'll be waiting for more feedback though, first. A lot of things are going on. I have yet to sort them all out.
Rae : Thank you for your feedback!! Sean makes everyone feel icky. Tess will deal with him though. I think the public kiss will have to wait though. I just don't see it coming... yet. I can see Max as being hte jealous type. I don't know, to me, jealousy shows affection in some evil way. I'd love to get another update out for you but I really don't feel up to it. And when I push out chapters just to get them out, it's not all that good of a situation. You get mess ups and frustration like I did with Harvest Moon. Now look where that story's gone.
Eraser Room : Thanks for the feedback. Glad you liked my little nickname. He probably was thinking that as he stared around the room. But we won't know until I can get a Max POV out, right? And yes, the blaming and the guilt and all that will come. I don't see her remembering any time soon though. Everything else, I'm not to sure about with what Tess will do to Sean. Because, frankly, I'm confused myself. Because right now, all that's playing in my head is Liz's POV and all that Liz knows. But I'm sure it will all figure itself out later. Thanks for the feedback again!!
roswellluver : Thanks for the feedback!! Yes. Good riddance to Sean. I'm always bashing him aren't I? He's just so... evil. But Max staying and talking to Liz would only come out as an argument. And I don't see them fighting as a good thing, although it might work or Michael and Maria's relationship on the show, it just doesn't work for Max and Liz. When people fight, someone gets sad, mad, angry, all of that. Not good.

All right. That's it. Thanks for reading!! Any more questions?? jsut throw them at me. I'll be up waiting for Kitcat26 and for Kara ((Eccentric One)) and maybe mermaidgirl to see if they respond before I go to sleep. And of course, check around my room yet again for my script and do laundry. Why can't clothes just wash themselves? Anyway, thanks again for reading and for your replies. Thank you!!!

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 19-Apr-2002 10:50:55 PM ]
posted on 22-Apr-2002 8:11:04 AM by LiLEvEe
Sorry about that. But things seemed to have come up and I couldn't get a part out last night. So I guess I'll just write it in school today since I'm bored in my classes anyway. But the thing is, I can't type it up tonight. Tonight I'm going bowling. Yup yup. And Tuesday I have a major test to study for. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I have to majorly cram for my mock AP test on Saturday. And Saturday and Sunday I have to work on my major project for English and read the Great Gatsby which I was supposed to read a long time ago, but never got around to it. I guess we're looking at next week Monday. Oh, wait. Never mind. Next week Monday I have a senior citizen's prom to help out at. Oh and this Saturday I have a party and a sleep over to go to too. I guess we're looking at Tuesday next week then. Unless I can squeeze it in somewhere. I guess type it up during lunches or something. I think I'm going to be updating Accept the Challenge first though. I've been updating this one so many times, I've been somewhat neglecting my other stories. And I'm pretty sure everyone has abandoned Harvest Moon. I'll have to pick that one up when I'm done with Accept the Challenge. And hopefully by then, I'm able to at least start up on the Max POV for this. I won't post it though. Not until the big problem in this story is revealed. Or actually, it's not really a big problem, per say, but rather, so many damn little problems that it kind of builds itself up. Well, anyway, thanks for reading and thank you for your feedback!! Here's hopes to getting back to you soon!!!
posted on 26-Apr-2002 9:51:43 PM by LiLEvEe
*~* Author’s Note *~*

Okay, I know, I don’t want to be neglecting my stories, but real life has just gotten to me. I have four AP tests to take: Calculus AB, English language, U.S. History, and Chemistry. I also have the SATs, TAAS, Benchmark and what not. And family things to deal with. I already missed my junior prom, and all of these other things that are just tying me down so much. Not to mention that I have a mock AP Test tomorrow morning. Which means I have to get up bright and early on a Saturday… Ughh…

Anyway, I’m terribly, terribly sorry for neglecting my stories. I know, I normally used to update at least one of them once a day, but I haven’t got any of them in like a week or more. And everyone is hitting me up for an update. But I’m just so, so busy. I love the feedback though. They put a smile on my face *big*. Anyway, here’s what’s going on with my stories. P.S. This is the same note for all three stories:

Accept the Challenge: Kitcat26 has informed me that my last few parts to this have been very, very short. And yes, I know of this. But I can’t help it. I tried to make them loner but they just wouldn’t go. But the next part I get out will be longer, a lot longer. And this story will be going back to my number one important stories. I’ve been alternating betweent his and The Denial Game, but it will be this one from now on, until it is completed, which it will be, and soon too. If things go the way I want them to. I might be able to fit it all in, in say, maybe six or seven parts. I know, I have really been leaving ya’ll hanging. So, tell you what, I’ll even give you hints of how I want the next few chapters to go with small key word things, you can tell me what you think they mean. Plan, rescue, heal, arrangement, avoid, contract, reunion, goodbye, the end. It’s somewhat along the lines of those, although it may differ slightly or the words may not mean to me what they mean to you. Well, I’ll try and update soon.

The Denial Game: I’ve gotten a lot of feedback and a few new readers. Wow. I never thought that would happen. But my number one list of lengthy and loyal feedbackers are (in alphabetical order): Eccentric One, Eraser Room, Kitcat26 Mermaidgirl, Rapunzel, and Soypet (who can’t seem to get onto the board, computer problem). People getting there and will be if they continue to leave me feedback like they do: the freak of roswell, DaydreamLDM, ILYMEFOREVER, Mary N 008, and Sheeijan. Everyone else, you’re getting there. I know, it’s time consuming kind of to leave lengthy feedback, but I just love reading them so so so much. It’s why I got out so many parts that last week. You can write anything in the feedback, anything at all. Even ramble on and on about nonsense, I just love lengthy feedback. So gimme… please?? Okay, enough about that, what’s up with this story? Things are still far from where I want them to be. But I will tell you what I have in store for the next part, once I get it out. I’ll give you word hints like I did for people for Accept the Challenge. It’ll only be three words though, because we have to stick to the theme of this story with Max’s little three word thing… hehe. And they are: Apology, tree, cookies. That is all that I will tell you. Have what ever play you want on the words. Tell me what you think will happen though, I want to know your thoughts. And hey, to make it an even sweeter deal, if anyone gets it right, I’ll stop whatever it is that I’m doing and write the chapter up, I wasn’t planning on working on it for another… don’t hate me now… two weeks… ::ducks while things get throw at her::… I know I promised early next week, but things came up, I.e. tests. I’m so so so sorry. So if anyone can guess. And I’ll only accept lengthy feedback guesses and specific… hehe, hopefully that will take ya’ll a while to guess at and my staying away will be justified.

Harvest Moon: I know, I fixed and edited this story and all and that I said that I’ll try to get back to it. But I will be honest with ya’ll. I will not be working on this story until I complete Accept the Challenge. I’m sorry. I was able to handle three stories before, but I can’t seem to handle them now with teachers cramming everything in at the last minute and all. So I will start this back up at once, once I finish Accept the Challenge, which will be soon I hope. But I will tell you where I will be taking this story. In the next chapter, I plan on having the guys out helping set up the festival… hehe… Max… lifting things… sweaty… muscles… hmmm… I may have to be getting back to this story soon… hehe. Thanks for putting up with everything this story has been going through.

Thank you everyone for reading and for putting up with me. Thank you! Thank you!! Thank you!!!

posted on 27-Apr-2002 8:49:39 AM by LiLEvEe
Although the attempts were very... interesting. They aren't what I was looking for. When I finally get the next part out you'll probably be kicking yourselves. And yes, Kitcat26 was right, Eraser Room, my list was in alphabetical order. Well, off to take my test. Adios!!!
posted on 27-Apr-2002 2:37:06 PM by LiLEvEe
LoL... Those guesses were so far from what I thought, although they were very very good guesses and very clever, to where I'm like, hey, that's interesting, but it's not what I was looking for. Ecccentric One, you've been so far, somewhat in the vacinity of what I was looking for, but still very far. What I am thinking is just so much simpler than all of that. One of your guesses was almost on the money had you not verntured to a different approach. Well, I'm off to my acting class, YAY!! Chao everyone!!! And thanks for the feedback!!!
posted on 28-Apr-2002 8:26:27 AM by LiLEvEe
...LoL... Good try Ner. Very inventive and good imagination. However, it's so far from what is going to happen. Everyone is thinking too far out. What I want is so very simple. And all three things are tied to each other, if that's another hint... Thanks for the feedback!!!
posted on 28-Apr-2002 11:53:50 AM by LiLEvEe
Well, damn!!! A little closer and I'll be typing up that story!! Golly, I guess I'll get started on that chapter right after church, may be able to post it tonight. Thank you everyone for their feedback!!

Yeah, I missed my prom, oh well, there's always next year, which I will be going to!! And Kitcat26, for your guesses on Accept the Challenge, I'll have to look them over again, but I'm sure you hit some of them right on the money, but the end is a bit shaky.

Thanks again everyone!!!
posted on 29-Apr-2002 6:44:59 AM by LiLEvEe
*


[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 8:12:17 PM ]
posted on 30-Apr-2002 1:46:56 AM by LiLEvEe
*~* Author's Reply *~*

Word Hints:
((STRANGER))
((RESEMBLENCE))
((CRASHING))

frenchkiss70: thank you for the feedback, I'll try to get the next part out as soon as I find time.
angelbaby6977: thank you for the feedback and thank you for reading.
Tea B7: Thanks for reading and I'll try to get the next part out as soon as I have time.
Mary N 008: Thanks for reading. I love reading that you're reading into Max's character. I have yet to do that even though I'm supposed to be producing a Max POV to this by orders of Kara and several other people. Thanks for the feedback. I love reading your thoughts.
rattlebox: Tim, dear, no matter how much you try, 'snort' is not a comment, it's a verb... hehe... LoL! Yea, I kinda wanted to go into the gossiping, but I wanted to kind of center around Liz's guilt, thus the repetition over and over again, so that you can see just how guilty she felt, no matter how monotonous. Thanks for the feedback!!! 'Snort'... tisk tisk... hehe...
Alien 614: Thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback!
BillyHoliday: Hey. Howdy. Welcome. Glad you liked my story. And also that you got the memo that I love long feedback, so thanks for giving it to me. I don't want to go into the other characters and give any of the story away, but I will tell you this, Max has power. Max is THE MAN. And people listent to him. Loved your signature, by the way. Daria was the coolest show ever, too bad they had to end it. Oh, and did you know that you can vent and ramble about anything in your feedbacks and I'll still read them and reply and all that? Well you can.
mermaidgirl: Thanks for the feedback. Yeah, I guess Pam is a bit stuck up. But then, aren't there always those girls in every school? God knows I've got plenty of them in mine. I never really thought about Maria's dislike for Max. I don't dwelve into it too deeply. Her character's just there and I like her. She's the pessimist in the story, which is quite a contrast to her character on the show.
the freak of roswell: Thank you for reading. Yeah, Dreamangel's guess was just so there that I had to get another post out. That was the aggrement right? Thanks for your sympathy. I hope my prom next year will be new and exciting too. Yeah, I may just get that tree make out somewhere later on. I have this weird thing for trees. When ever I draw of doodle, there's always a tree. And then children around the tree. I dunno, I'm weird. I know it wasn't Liz's fault. And everyone knows it's not Liz's fault. But when you feel guilt, it kind of swallows you whole. And that's what was happening with her. Glad you approved of the cheerleading scene. I tried to squeeze in the cookie scene, but it just didn't feel right. And everyone seems to want to know what's going on with the alien bunch. But, alas, that will all have to wait. Thanks for the feedback!!
BillyHoliday: Wow. Two replies. Thanks. A trip to the eraser room ey? Hmm... interesting... I'll have to think about that. Nope, I haven't seen or read The House Of Mirth. It's a movie? Who wrote the book and what's it about? I might be interested in reading about it. So you do know that we ramble and talk about off hand subjects in the feedback. Great. We welcome you to vent. I do it all the time.
roswellluver: Thanks for the feedback!! I'm glad you liked that bit. Thanks for reading!!
Saymi: You were grounded from the computer?? Haha... sorry, I'm not laughing at your misfortune... well, I am, but it's laughing with you, not at you. Oh, gosh. Don't worry about it. Every one of us has been through it all. I jsut don't see why they can't see that fanfics are a creative outlet for most of us. Oh, and congratulations on your A in economics. From what I hear, that's a hard class to take. I won't be taking it until July. And yeah, vent all you'd like. I love reading about anything. I can be your little therapist... and I take long feedbacks as bribes *wink*.
the better twin: Thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback!!
Kitcat26: First off, thanks for the nomination for a POV fic. And it's okay, I needed a break anyway. Yeah, about that, see, I know I should be updating Accept the Challenge, but I'm kind of prolonging it as much as possible. I mean, it's my first story and I'm not sure about having it end. I'm cheezy and sentimental and all. But I'll try to get on that right away. And I don't think the whole alien rank thing will be fully cleared until this story is nearing the end. Even then, it'll probably be more clear in a Max POV, if I can get it out. Are Max and Michael friends in this? Hmm... I'm not sure. I'll have to think about that one. Yeah, the shopping scene will have to be soon if I want to fit everything in. But the mystery encounter has to come first and there also might be a dance... sigh... too many things to fit in.
Rapunzel:Thanks for the feedback. You were the only one that mentioned the bear poster. Thanks. Oh, and thanks for mentioning my story in the Writer's Thread thingy. I felt very honored. Thanks for reading!!
Eraser Room: Yeah, the three word thing, I was gonna try and hold onto it a little longer with 'I prefer brunettes' but then I figure, it's been broken and it needs to end. There's only so much you can do with it. Yeah, he does kind of blame her I think, or rather milks the situation for all it's worth. I dunno, we'll have to see about it in a Max POV. if that comes out. Tess will be back. There will be mention of it at least somewhat because, after all, Chemistry class is after lunch and we all know who is in Chemistry class with her.
Faith Evans: Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad you liked the part. Yeah, Liz is kinda living in her head a bit too much. Maybe she should start seeing a therapist... hmm... interesting...
aZNroSweLl anglgrl: Thanks for the feedback. I'll try to post more as soon as I find time.
Eccentric One: Finally Kara, I got your feedback. Now I can go to sleep... hehe. And actually that serious stuff isn't just one thing, it's a lot of things. Gosh, I'm just going to confuse everyone so much more before I even start explaining or solving anything. Sigh. You saw how Max was milking the whole thing with Liz? Yeah. Manipulative Max. You want a word game? Really? Hmm... Okay. I'll mention it at the end. Thanks for the feedback, Kara!! I can't believe you never went to any of your dances. But then, yea, there was a anti-prom party I was supposed to go to instead of prom, but I ended up going to neither and just staying at home. Pathetic aren't I??
Adrianna: Thanks for the feedback!! I'm glad you liked it. I'll have to work on all that Max and Liz interaction and see if I can boost it. But you're right about one thing. This story is going to get a lot more complicated before anything even starts to get cleared up. Thanks for reading. I really appreciate your replies!!

**Okay, so. Since Kara wants another word game, I'm going to have to give it to her. And, to let you know now, the next two weeks are AP Test weeks so I'll be cramming for them. Sorry, but that means no updates. But I'll offer the word deal again. If anyone can guess it. Oh, and for those of you who didn't know, dreamangel won the last one. Yay Dreamangel!!

So... I'm not sure if this is going to be the next chapter or the one after it, but these are my thoughts... 'stranger' 'resemblence' and 'crashing'. And again, it's all connected. It'll maybe help if you can form a sentence with it.

Like the last one would have been Liz went to APOLOGIZE to Max at his TREE by offering him COOKIES, if I had used cookies. And I know, this one is harder. See if anyone can guess that... hehe... it should keep you busy for a while, but then again, I said that for the last one too.
posted on 30-Apr-2002 7:59:54 PM by LiLEvEe
Well Keep the Faith, that was an interesting little guess, but just not what I was looking for. Thanks for your try. Anyone else want to take a stab at it?? Stranger, resemblence, crashing.
posted on 30-Apr-2002 8:12:28 PM by LiLEvEe
Haha... crazy Rapunzel... Okay, I'll give you this much, there is no resemblence to Max, so don't get stuck on that like how everyone did on the last word game when everyone thought it was Max who apologized. So... any more goes at it??
posted on 30-Apr-2002 10:12:46 PM by LiLEvEe
Just finished watching the show and it's just so... Grrr.... I hate the show so much!! This episode wasn't all that bad, I mean with the Max and Liz flirting and everything. But every time they got to the Jesse and Isabel parts I was just wishing I could skip them or fast forward or something. And did anyone see the previews?? Tess. What the hell?? Tess is there!! And a baby?? The hell!! But I did see a glimpse of what I think was Liz using her powers to fling Tess back?? Hehe... Go Liz!! UGghh... and there are only two episodes left and they decide to bring Tess back in! This so sucks. I'm just so frustrated and angry at the show. Grr... I just... no more Roswell things anymore until I cool down. I shoulda stopped watching after the credits. The preview just got me so upset!! Ughh... I need a break from Roswell. I don't even think a good fanfic will calm me down now. So while I chill down, I'll leave you to your guesses... hehe. And Rapunzel, you can guess how ever many times you want.
posted on 5-May-2002 11:11:16 PM by LiLEvEe
I'm terribly sorry everyone. I really am. I just haven't had time to write up a new chapter yet. And I didn't want to leave a post on the board without a new chapter. But, I guess this one will serve as a note to everyone that I am not dead... hehe.

Anyway, I have AP exams all this week so I really really need to study. But the offer will still stand. If anyone can guess the next chapter, I will write it up and post it. So far, I haven't gotten what I wanted. Some have been pretty close, though no one has gotten the 'resemblence' right yet. Everyone's guesses have been rather... interesting though.

All of my really hard classes are practically letting up on the load after this week, so look for updates to everything ((maybe even to Harvest Moon)) by the end of this weekend. Other than that, I really need this week to study and rest for tests. Thank you for your patience.

RAMBLING:
I've been talking to Soypet ((whose having computer difficulties and can't be with us)) online, and we've been talking a lot about the show, actors, fanfics, writers, boards... etc. And today we we brought up this board and we both agree that this board is so awesome. It's like a little community in its own. It's so great and supportive.

And it's such a diverse group of people, all brought together with a commmon love for great stories. And I've learned so much about the different members. Like, Soypet's into art, Eccentric One is into entertainment, Eraser Room is science, Mermaidgirl is a phsychology major... and much much more. And it's such a great supportive group. And my writing has expanded so much from this. It's just so... great!! THIS BOARD ROCKS!! That's all I have to say.

Oh, more rambling... I never got to tell anyone how my last audition went. It was terrible, I didn't get the part, and it was completely nerve wrecking. But hey, at least I know what goes on and what to expect and what to do during an audition. And my next audition is in three weeks for a pilot for an HBO series. If I make it, I get to go to LA. So I really really need to work on that part for the audition. Wish me luck!! It's a chance of a lifetime.

Anything else I did... hmmm.... I cut my nails today, everyone was saying that they were too long... umm... oh, I'm going to California to visit college campuses and vacation with my uncle in end of June, beginning of July. So that'll be cool. Um... I'm getting new headshots taken on May 18... I've lost ten pounds ((the stress of school is really getting to me))... oh, I have to read or watch The Glass Menagerie by July for my acting class ((which is still so totally cool by the way))... um, I think that's all that's going on in my life... thanks for reading!!

**Now, everyone else is welcome to ramble and/or comment as well...**
posted on 9-May-2002 10:39:49 PM by LiLEvEe
So... it's been awhile since I last updated huh?? What's today? May nineth? When was the last time I updated?? April 29th? That's, what, ten days?? Eh, it hasn't been that long. Give me a couple more days. This week has been a very stressful and hectic week filled with AP Exams. God, they are hell. And I have another one tomorrow too. I am so beat. I need sleep. Oh, well. Let's look on the bright side, after this week, only two more weeks of school left. Oh yea. Bring on summer. And I'll finally be able to get more chapters to these stories up and get them finished. At least I hope I can. I haven't finished a story yet, and I have a new idea for another one. But I learned the hard way that it just isn't good to try and balance out three stories. No siree bob. So, anyway, give me at least another week until I can get another chapter out. Unless someone can guess the word game, that is. No one's gotten it right yet. Everyone has missed the 'resemblence'. So try, try, and try again.

((STRANGER))
((RESEMBLENCE))
((CRASHING))

**HINT: All characters have already been established. I don't think I could add anymore and be able to keep up with them. Hell, I don't even know what I did with most of them. We haven't seen Kyle or Tess in a while have we? Oh, but wait, I will be squeezing in Doug Shellow though. Just not yet. He will be a 'mighty comet'. Actually, come to think of it, his character was already added, just not given a name yet. If you'll remember, he asked Liz if she needed help before Alex grabbed her books and walked her to class when she got back from the hospital. I think I'll make his character an interesting rival for Max... hehe. Oh, and did I tell you? I'm also making a dance come up as well. What school is complete without a chance to hold festivities in which they are able to take one room and fill it with balloons, loud music, and hormonal teens freaking each other? I know mine isn't.
posted on 9-May-2002 11:11:58 PM by LiLEvEe
Very good tries, but not what I was looking for. Okay. I'll give you one more hint. The stranger isn't the one that bears the resemblence. That's all that I will say. Now, I'm off to bed. Thank you everyone and I will check back again after school tomorrow at about, 4:45. If anyone has guessed right, then I'll write up a chapter tomorrow night. If not, then I guess you'll have to wait till next week.
posted on 14-May-2002 10:02:45 PM by LiLEvEe
So... Roswell is over. And what an end it was. I liked it. Roswell has ended. It has really really ended. I know, there will be reruns and cindication on scifi channel this fall and all, but it really really is over. Wow. And the ended it well too!! At least I thought so. The ending left you complete. To continue on after that would just be wrong. Wow, it's ended. And did anyone else see Liz's dress in the end? The hippie/peasant thingy? That was really cute. All right, so it's finally actually over. And I feel like it's complete. Wow... it's over. Roswell is over. Time to move on...
posted on 14-May-2002 10:45:04 PM by LiLEvEe
And for those who did not get my underlying note there, I feel as though the show is complete. It's over. Roswell is over. Thus, I'm questioning whether or not to continue with fanfics or not. I feel complete about the show right now. Stories are different, but they are tied to it. And the show is over. Soypet is like pleading with me to continue writing, but... I don't know. I'll have to think about it more... I'll think about it...
posted on 15-May-2002 2:26:08 AM by LiLEvEe
You know what, Kara? You're right. You are absolutely ppositively correct-amundo... as always. It would be wrong to leave this unfinished. I will not be like other authors who just leave their stories and upset readers. I will finish it, damn it! I will!! If I can just find time... that's always the hard part. Okay... next week is the last week of school until summer vacation. So if I can't get an update out before the end of next week, please try to understand. And as soon as school is over, I promise I will get back into my routine of an update a day, or at least every other day. But until then, bear with me please!!
posted on 16-May-2002 8:08:16 AM by LiLEvEe
I have the next chapter in the making but probably won't be able to post it until later. I have AP Test for Chemistry today. 90+ pages to read out of my lit book due tomorrow. Study questions, two essays, 700-1000 word essay/power point presentation all due Monday. And a Harlem Renaissance project/presentation due on Tuesday. But after that, I'm home free. YES!!!
posted on 16-May-2002 4:54:48 PM by LiLEvEe
Wow. I got feedback from Bex. I feel special now. So... I wasn't going to get the next part out until later, but health class sucked BIG TIME and I really need a pick-me uper from it. Normally feedback from fanfics will do it for me. But in order to get feedback, I have to get another part out. So I will be working on the next chapter of this story today. Look for it tonight, if I get done with it. Don't hate me Kitcat26, I like writing Accept the Challenge, but this story lets me vent more. So I'll start working on it. Right now.... yup... now... When I get to it... sooner or later... Alright I'll leave... sheesh...
posted on 17-May-2002 12:30:35 AM by LiLEvEe
Thank you for the feedback everyone. I am almost done with the chapter, I just have to go through it and read it one time. Give me about ten minutes. Thanks again!!

And Kara, the tests aren't blue anymore, they're green... and pink. And I completely agree about the free response part. Except for when you don't know what the heck they are asking for. But then you just write down what you think they're talking about in the form of a formula of some sort and you get partial credit. Ain't it nifty?? And today was my fifth AP test. And frankly, I didn't care that I only answered maybe half of the problems. It's over and I'm happy. So.. I should go edit now. I'll be right back!!
posted on 17-May-2002 1:14:38 AM by LiLEvEe
-------------------------------------------------


Chapter Ten



“All right, everyone. Ten minutes until the bell. Start cleaning up your labs and turn them in.”

What? No. Wait. How could we only have ten minutes left? I’m not done yet. “No, no, no, no, no.” Stop the centrifuge, drop the test tube in the boiling water, and wait five minutes.

Glance around the room while waiting, and from the looks of it, I’m the only one who’s not done with my lab. Or at least, I seem to be the only one who’s not done that cares. Snoozers are snoozing. And Michael and Tess are each flipping through their sketchbook and magazine.

Nope. They don’t care about this stuff. Of course they don’t. Why would they? Science bores everyone. Everyone but nerdy dorky people like me. And maybe Max. But Max isn’t here, is he? Nope. He never came to class. And no one else noticed but me, who has been staring at the door all period, waiting for him to come. While the seconds seem to just tick slowly by. Damn it, maybe that’s why I haven’t finished my lab yet.

All right. It’s close enough to five minutes. Check the test tube, and it’s clear. It’s clear. The test tube is clear. It’s this just so fucking hilarious? The freaking test tube is clear. “God fucking damn it!”

“Liz, did you say something?” Tess’s blonde curls pop up from out of nowhere to right next to me.

“Oh, Tess. I didn’t see you there. No, no. I didn’t say anything.” Nope. Not little ole me. I would never utter such profane words.

“You know we only have like two minutes until the bell, right?” She’s looking at all of my supplies, still out on the table, test tube still in hand.

I put the clear test tube down and check my watch. “I know. I know.” Sigh. Maybe I forgot a step. I should go back and look through again.

She picks up the clear test tube and sniffs it. And my mind is just thinking, ‘that’s a bad safety procedure’. But hey, I’ve got a double major grade assignment to think about. No time for anything else. “Didn’t you finish this experiment yesterday?”

“Yes. And yesterday I also found lead in the solution. Today, I redid the experiment, and there’s no lead.” Isn’t that just wonderful?

“Are you sure?” I glance up at her and she’s still sniffing the test tube before she plops it back into the boiling water.

And I sigh. “Clear test tube. No precipitate. No lead.”

“Let me see.” She grabs at the large test tube holding the unknown solution, pulls off the stopper and sniffs it. What is it with her and sniffing these things? “It’s sodium and bismuth.”

Wait… “What?”

Tess kind of shrugs and hands the test tube back to me. “The solution has sodium and bismuth in it.”

“How do you know?” I try sniffing it. And it just smells chemically to me. There’s no way you can dissociate these smells when they’re mixed together like this. And she’s smelling sodium and bismuth in this? Well, sorry Tess, but you’re wrong. “I already tested for bismuth. No color change. Thus, no bismuth.”

“It’s bismuth, all right.” She takes the test tube from me and plugs the stopper back in before putting it back down on the table. And apparently she sees the disbelief in my eyes because she lets out this frustrated like sigh. “Just trust me on this. It’s sodium and bismuth.”

She even goes as far as to write the two chemicals down on my paper and hands it to me before walking away. And I stare at the paper, thinking about it. Double major grade. Could I risk it? I mean, it’s two major grades. This is the difference between an A in the class and a lower grade. But then again, Tess was pretty sure of herself…

Oh, what the hell. The bell rings and I grab my paper and stuff it in the tray. “Coach, can you tell me if I got the chemicals right?”

He looks at me from behind his computer. “Sure, Liz.” He says it in the drawn out, elongated enunciation, as though we had all the time in the world. Forget it that the bell has already rung and that I might be late for my next period class. “What solution number did you have?”

He pulls out his paper and I’m taking a deep breath. “Number four.”

“Sodium and…” could he take any longer to read a freaking word? “…bismuth.”

Wow. “Well…what do you know?” Tess was right. And I’m smiling. Because Tess was right. That means that I was right. Which also means that I got a hundred for, not one, but two major test grades. Ain’t life grand?

“Is that what you guessed?”

“Yes, it is.” As if my smile didn’t give it away already.

“Congratulations.” He kind of pats me on the head. And normally, I’d mind. And I’d be bitching for being treated like a little dog of some sort. But today, I don’t mind. Nope. Today, I overlook it. Today, I’m happy.

“Thank you.”

Because all in all, it’s becoming a pretty good day. I got to tell Pam Troy off and I got a hundred on my lab. Hell yeah.

Health wasn’t even all that bad of a class either. Nope. Not bad at all. Sat down in class. Did the work in ten minutes and then got a pass to go to the library.

But did I go to the library? Sure, for about two minutes. Then I got bored and went home. That’s right. Hehe… truancy baby. That’s the name of the game. And if anyone asks, I’ll just say it’s my free period. But then again, this town is kind of small. Enough to where all the administrators could probably have everyone’s schedules programmed into their head.

Hmm… a robot faculty. That’s an interesting notion. But then again, this town already has aliens. And isn’t it some kind of law or something… one conspiracy per town? Well, there should be.

I head out of the parking lot and down the street at a leisurely pace. Hey, I’m in no hurry. Besides, at the speed I’m going, I figure I’ll make it to The Crashdown in about half an hour, long before the after school rush, and just in time for some afternoon cartoons. See? I’ve got it all planned out.

“Hey Liz. Wait up.”

I stop and turn around and see a guy running up to me. Brown hair, nice muscles, and dimples in his cheeks. I turn back around and keep walking.

“Liz, wait.”

That’s the thing about being short. You’re legs don’t cover that much of a distance when you walk. Two of his steps equaled like three of mine. And why does this guy look so familiar? Maybe it’s the letter jacket…

“Hey.” His voice is kind of deep, kind of light, and it comes out sweetly. I bet he’s a smooth talker.

“Um… hi.”

“So, where you heading to?” He smiles and I can see the dimples in his cheeks. Hmmm… does Max have dimples? Why haven’t I ever taken notice?

“I’m walking home… the Crashdown.” Point down the street in the general vicinity of where I’m heading.

“You’re walking?” He puts his hands in his pocket and kind of gives me this smile. Hmm…

“Yeah. I’m just gonna… go.” I offer him a smile back. The guy seems nice enough.

“Well, um… my car is right over there.” He points off to the parking lot. “I could give you a ride if you want.”

Oh yes. Let’s go hop in the car of every cute unfamiliar guy we see. That’s how dead bodies of girls end up in ditches and creeks. “Well, actually, I’m not supposed to get rides from strangers.” Just slowly inch away.

“Well, I’m not a stranger though, am I?” He smiles. And his smiles have dimples.

And see? I knew he looked familiar. “You’re not?”

“No. I’m Doug. We have English together. Third period. I sit in the seat behind you.” Whoa… he has English with me? Who is all in my English class? Me, Max, and the bimbo brigade. I don’t recall a Doug.

“Oh, yeah. In Mr. Manor’s class.” It’s not like I was going to tell him that I didn’t remember him. That’s mean. And I don’t want to be mean.

“Yeah.” He’s suddenly very enthusiastic. “I didn’t think you noticed me.”

“Well, who wouldn’t notice someone like you?” I punch him playfully on the arm. That’s what people do, right? Letter jacket people? They play around and punch each other. Right?

And the Doug guy blushes. Hehe… it’s cute. “So… um… can I give you that ride?”

“Actually,” and I can already see his face fall, “I was kind of looking forward to a walk.”

“Oh… um… can I walk you then?” Should I have him walk me? I mean… I hardly know him. But then again, it’s not safe for a little girl to be walking around by herself, even in a small town like this one. And I mean, it’s not like I’m betraying anyone by having Doug walk me home. Not at all. And there’s also a somewhat pleading look in his eyes. You know me… I’ve always been a sucker for puppy dog looks… sigh…

“Okay.”


--------------


“You’re kidding me.” He’s kidding me. He’s kidding me. He has to be kidding me.

“Nope. Scout’s honor.” He holds his hand up in that salute thing that they do. And I still don’t believe him.

“No. You’re lying. Things like that just don’t happen to guys like you. I mean, you’re Doug Shellow, the all American guy, captain of the football team.” It’s just not possible. The pretty people just don’t get humiliated like that.

“What? It’s true. I had to shave my head and wear a hat for two months until my hair grew back.” His face is all serious and he kind of grimaces at the memory.

And I still don’t believe him. “I still don’t believe you.”

He just smiles. “Why don’t you believe me? Come on, I’m a good guy. Completely innocent and honest.”

Innocent and honest? That’s exactly what I am. Hell, if he’s going to start talking about innocent and honest. “So am I. But if I sat here and told you that I’m Liz Parker, waitress by day and Bunny Neptune, prostitute and porn star by night, would you believe me?” And it just came out of my mouth on its own accord. Why the hell did I just say that outloud?

And he kind of ducks his head and looks somewhat uncomfortable. It’s awkward now. How is it that I always seem to make every situation awkward? I mean, it’s my fault. I really shouldn’t have said that. The guy really is pure and innocent. I’m surprised high school hasn’t corrupted him yet.

I told you that I liked silence, right? Well this isn’t silence. This is awkward silence. And awkward silence is nerve wrecking. Awkward silence is the kind that you go crazy in. Must stop silence. “So… um… is there anything else I can get you? Alien Blast? Men In Blackberry pie?”

“No. I’m fine.” He’s trying to settle back down but I can tell he’s still a little uncomfortable. I don’t blame him. No one really expected that to come out of my mouth. Well, maybe Max would have… but we won’t think about that right now.

I glance around the diner and the creepy guy’s still staring at me. Did I mention the creepy guy yet? He’s been sitting in a booth by himself for over twenty minutes now and still hasn’t ordered yet. All he does is just sits there and stares at me.

I look at Doug and it’s still somewhat awkward. “Okay, um… I should go take some orders now. I’ll be right back.”

Walk over to the creepy man and for the fourth time ask him, “Sir, are you ready to order?”

“Is anything on this menu… edible?” He has this all high and mighty look on his face as he looks at the menu in disgust.

And I really don’t feel like dealing with him right now. “I’ll give you more time to look it over.” And quickly walk away.

Back to Doug. Slipping back into the booth across from him, “So. What else do you want to talk about?”

He has this smile on his face. I guess we’re over the awkwardness now. “Tell me the truth.”

You want the truth? You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth. Hehe… I know, I’m a dork. “The truth about what?”

He still has a smile on his face. “You really didn’t know who I was, huh?”

“Of course I did. You’re Doug. You sit behind me in English.” Is this where he tells me that he really isn’t Doug Shellow, but he’s been playing me all this time. And that he’s actually my long lost brother that I never knew about? Luke… I am your father.

“Yeah. But I told you all of that.” Huh? What? Damn. I really need to stop living in my head so much.

All right. I might as well be honest with the boy. “Okay. I’m sorry, but I… nope… I don’t remember.”

His lip kind of pouts and he gets this sad-like look. “But… I’ve talked to you a couple of times.”

Whoa… wait… “When?”

And he gives me this ‘come on, I can’t believe you don’t remember’ kind of look. “I say ‘hi’ to you in the hallway everyday. Between first and second? I even offered to carry your books the other day.”

Ugh… that’s why he looked so familiar. It’s the letter jacket. “I’m sorry, but I just have a really bad memory. I didn’t even remember seeing you in class.” I really don’t. I don’t remember there being anyone else in class, other than Max and me. Oh, yea, and the blonde bimbos, as well.

Doug just shrugs. “It figures. You were too busy staring at Evans in class to notice me.”

Huh? Me? Staring? At Max? Hah! Yeah, right! “I don’t stare.”

“Fine. You gawk at him. Ogle, gaze, watch intently, take your pick. I mean, it’s nothing. It’s not like you’re the only one. God, every girl in the school only has eyes for Evans.” He kind of slouches in his seat and pouts. And there’s some obvious jealousy going on there.

And I try to cheer him up. “I’m sure you have your own following of gawkers as well.”

“Nope.” He sulks some more. “They’re all too busy following Max around.” And he huffs, pouting like a little boy, angry that he doesn’t get his way.

And I find myself wanting to make him smile again. “Come on, you’re captain of the football team. Isn’t there some written law that all cheerleaders have to throw themselves at your feet?”

“Nope. They’re all busy trying to get Max.” He throws his hands up in frustration. “Every girl wants to get with Max.”

“I, for one, would rather eat worms before I fell at the feet of Maxwell Evans.” A voice comes walking up to us.

“It’s such a relief to hear that. Thank you Maria.” He gives her a smile and I can see his dimples again.

“You’re welcome. It’s great feeling special.” Maria smiles a cheesy smile and then turns to me, handing me menus. “Liz. You’ve got customers.”

“But I’m on my break, Maria.”

She smiles at me, sympathetically. “I know. But they refuse to let me take their order. They specifically asked for you. Which, I’m really grateful for. Believe me.”

I look around the diner, which is empty, except for three booths. “Other than that weird man over there, they’re not even in my section.”

And Maria just shrugs. “They asked for you, Liz.”

Damn people. Maybe I should be ruder. That way, they don’t ask for me. And maybe even prefer to not have me. “All right. Which of the two booths?”

She smiles at me. “Both of them.”

“Both?”

She shrugs. “Hey. You’re popular.”

Sigh. “Fine. If you’ll excuse me, Doug.” Smile warmly at him.

“Don’t worry, Liz. I’ll keep Dougie-boy company.” Maria slides in the booth as I exit.

Break out the freaking order pad. Hello Mr. I’ve-Got-A-Staring-Problem. “Are you ready to order yet, sir?”

He’s staring at my name tag. Or, at least, I’m hoping that he’s staring at my name tag. “What kind of name is that anyway? Liz.” He makes a face. “It’s so… common.”

Common? Excuse me. Freaking bastard. What right does he have to call me common? “Liz, it’s short for Elizabeth.”

The bastard psycho person is smiling now. “Ah… Elizabeth. Now that is a suitable name.”

Well, I’m glad you approve. Freaking… the customer is always right. The customer is always right. Plaster on the cheesy smile. “Thank you, sir. Are you ready to order?”

He looks back over the menu in disgust. “Ugh… is there anything that isn’t swimming in a pool of grease.”

No, sir. There isn’t. “I’ll give you a few more minutes to look over the menu.” And walk quickly away. And up to the next booth.

“Welcome to the Crashdown Café. I’m Liz and I’ll be your waitress this evening. Are you ready to order?” And my hands are already scribbling down his order on the order pad, before he even answers me.

It’s not like it’s a big deal. He always orders the same thing. “The usual.”

See? I was right. “Is that all, Max?”

“Sit down, Liz.” He points to the empty seat across from him.

And I smile. I knew he was going to say that. “Can’t, Max. Working.” I point to the other booth of people who have yet to be served.

He kind of whines and pouts, as though I’m being unfair or something. “You sat with Shallow.”

I roll my eyes. “Shellow. And that was during my break.” Do I detect a hint of jealousy from him? Hmm… this could be interesting.

“So join me.” He, again, points to the empty seat across from him.

Ugh… do I really want to turn him down? Like how he turned me down? Yes, I do. “Go to hell, Max.”

And he just smirks. “Only if you go with me, Liz.”

Sigh. Something tells me that I’d agree to go anywhere with him. But, he doesn’t need to know that. “I’ll be back with your drink.”

Saunter away and pin Max’s order up on the little spinny thingy at the Cook’s window for Alex to cook up before heading behind the counter and getting Max’s cherry coke and walking back over to him.

“Here you go, Max.” Put the drink down on the table and give him a big smile. He better tip me good. Especially since this isn’t even my section.

“Thanks, Liz.” He takes the drink and starts sipping it. And I start to turn away, but I hear Maria bursting into a fit of laughter. And I glance over at Doug, whose sitting there a bit uncomfortable like with Maria acting like a hyena, and it reminds me of something.

“Hey, Max.”

“Yeah?” He looks up at me with a smile. And guess what, Max has dimples too.

It makes me smile. And it makes what I’m about to say next, even sweeter. “What if I told you that waitressing was only my day job, and at night, I’m Bunny Neptune, prostitute and porn star extraordinaire.”

And Max is unfazed. He just raises his eyebrows a bit. “How much do you charge and what corner can I find you at?”

And I smile again. Because I expected Max to say something smart-alecky like that. At least, to me he would. And that thought somehow makes me smile even more. I’m special. “Thanks, Max.”

I walk away and head towards the next booth. But someone’s hand on my arm stops me. “Hey… um… Liz.”

I smile, because… he’s just so sweet, you can’t help but smile at him. “Yeah, Doug?”

“It’s getting kind of late. I really should head on home.” He points to his watch. And I’m actually surprised that he stuck around this long. He really is just such a great guy. “Um… can I call you?”

It’s at the tip of my tongue to say, ‘sure, and we can have phone sex all night long.’ But I don’t. I stop at “Sure.” After all, that’s not something you’d say to Doug. Not sweet and innocent little Doug, no. That’s something you’d say to Max.

Doug gives me a peck on the cheek and then heads out the door. And I sigh as I watch him leave. He’s just so sweet. And now, I must go face the creepy guy.

Sigh again before I head over, taking out my order pad. “Sir, are you ready to order?”

“The resemblance is so uncanny.” He kind of mutters to himself, and yet at me at the same time.

And I’m wondering what the hell he is talking about now. “Excuse me?”

“But there’s something different.” He’s still muttering to himself and to me.

Something different? What is he talking about? Something that resembles, but is different? What is he talking about? “Sir, what are you talking about?”

He lets out a deep breath and shakes his head, like he’s disappointed at whatever it is he’s talking about. “The eyes. It’s the eyes.”

And frankly, I’m tired of this. “Sir-”

“They’re his eyes, aren’t they?” What? His eyes? Whose eyes? Max’s eyes? Could be, since they are one of Max’s best features. Them, and his big rippling muscles. But then this guy wouldn’t notice that. Of course not, Liz. I hardly doubt that he’s checking Max out. But then again, he could be. Eww… ugh… stop thinking these thoughts.

Need to clear my head. “Sir, are you ready to order?”

But I don’t think he heard me. Because he’s still shaking his head and he still looks disappointed at something. What was it? Eyes. “It’s such a pity. Such a waste of perfection.”

All right. This guy is off in his own little world. “Umm… I’m going to give you a few more minutes.” And quickly walk away to the last booth of people.

And again, I rush out my introduction in one hurried breath. “Welcome to the Crashdown Café. I’m Liz and I’ll be your waitress this evening. Are you ready to order?”

“Elizabeth Parker.” Groan. I don’t want to have to deal with this here too. Don’t I get enough of this in school?

“Pamela Troy.” What the hell. It’s a slow night. I can play it out.

You ever notice that it’s always only Pam talking. And the other two lap dogs just sit there and glare. Did they appoint her their spokesperson, or did her big mouth and slutty reputation automatically get her the position? “Well, I’ll have to say, at first I thought you were just a bitch. But it turns out you’re a bitchy witch.”

Bitchy witch? A bitchy witch? Haha… oh my God. “Wow. That actually rhymed. I guess they don’t call you Pom-pom Pam for nothing, huh?”

She chooses to ignore my comment. “I don’t know what the hell you did to him, but stay away from Max. He’s mine.” She’s giving me this icy glare.

But I just smile sweetly at her. Simply because it is annoying the hell out of her. “Is he now?”

“Yes. He is.” She says through gritted teeth. And you can tell she’s trying to sound menacingly. But I just laugh. Why? Because she’s got something stuck between her teeth. And it’s funny. And I think Isabel sees it too, because she’s snickering softly, until Pam glares at her.

But, back to the topic at hand, Max. “And what exactly makes him yours, Pam?”

She turns back to me with another glare. And she smirks. “Everyone knows he’s mine.”

That is her lame ass justification? “I’m sorry, Pam. But I must have missed the ‘Property of Pam Troy’ tattoo on his chest. Oh wait, there isn’t one.” And I throw in another sweet smile, just to piss her off some more.

But Pam keeps going, rolling her eyes at me. “I’m the only girl who has ever gotten anywhere with him.”

Gotten anywhere? What the hell is that? “Meaning?”

“First base.” She smirks at me and holds her head up high.

And I scoff at her. “I highly doubt that forcing your tongue down his throat counts as first base, Pam.” Another sweet smile. And I think that they’re really getting to her. Just what I was aiming for.

“I wouldn’t talk, Parker.” Ooo… she’s calling me by my last name. I must be in trouble now. “It’s more than you’ll ever get.”

Is that a challenge? I think it’s a challenge. “Oh really?”

A ding is heard from the cook’s window, meaning that Alex is done with the food. So grab the plate and head over to Max’s booth, determined. Place the food down in front of him and slide into the booth.

He looks over at me, somewhat apathetically. “Joining me now?”

“Yes.” And I smile, and glance over at Pam, making sure she’s watching. “Max?”

“Hmm?” He looks at me and I signal with my finger for him to lean in closer. “What is it, Liz?” He sounds concerned. “Did someone do something to you?”

And I smile. The fact that he’s worried and that he’s so willing to jump at the chance of being my knight in shining armor makes what I’m about to do, oh so much sweeter. Push him back against the booth and kiss him. Full out, all the way, big, wet kiss.

And the funny thing is, it didn’t faze him. I can feel one hand on my waist and the other running through my hair and on my neck. And once I’m satisfied that Pam’s gotten enough, and not wanting to risk being caught by Mr. or Mrs. Whitman, or anyone else who might walk in, I pull away.

He starts tugging at my waist, but I slip out of the booth and out of his grasp. Haha… take that, Mr. Kiss-n-Diss. “Enjoy your food.” Smile sweetly, and walk away.

Pam and her cronies huff before getting up from their booth and storming out of the diner. And I smile triumphantly.

Two booths down, and one to go. But I’m feeling suddenly very confident. Bring on Mr. Creepy. “Sir, are you ready to order now?”

But I don’t think he’s listening to me. “Those damn eyes. It’s such a pity.” He’s still in his own little world of eyes again.

“Alright, you know what-” And I’m actually about to just kick this guy out. Because there was nothing in the job description that says that I have to deal with loony and cracked-up people.

But he interrupts me with the shaking of his head and his frowns of disappointment again. “Perfection. It was in your blood.”

“In my blood?” Wait. He was talking about me? Wait. I’m the eyes? He was checking me out, not Max? Ugh…

And the guy sighs, heavily and over dramatically. “Blood is blood, I suppose. We’ll just have to make do. You can be fixed.”

Blood? Eyes? Fixed? What does he mean, fixed? What exactly is this guy talking about? “Sir, I seriously-”

But he stands up, brushing me aside. “I should be going. Don’t reduce yourself to…” He looks me up and down, and I withhold the urge to slap him, “…servitude. Hold your head high, Elizabeth. You’re better than everyone else. You’re a Harding, for heaven’s sake, act like one.”


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[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 8:12:53 PM ]
posted on 17-May-2002 12:04:31 PM by LiLEvEe
A little shameless bump!! Thanks for the feedback everyone. If health class sucks again today, I'll get another update out!! Thanks again!!
posted on 18-May-2002 8:48:42 PM by LiLEvEe
Eccentric One : Thanks for staying up and waiting for the chapter!! So sorry that it took me a while to get out. Everyone's wondering of how Max will react aren't they? Well, like I said... unpredictable. Where was Max? He had things he had to do. And the claiming thing has yet to be revealed. I wouldn't think too much into the Liz loosing track of time in class. It's probably nothing. Ooo... episode three of Roswell? Episode One was the Pilot. Ep. 2 was the Morning After. What was episode three? The actual one? Well, you'll tell us what the unfilmed episode was about, won't you? Pretty pretty please?? *big*
mermaidgirl : the Sean thing has yet to reveal itself. There is still so many things that need to happen. Or that I want to happen until we get anywhere near anything else. Gosh, so many things. And I'm already up to, what is it now, 27 chapters, I think. I'm glad to hear that college is actually better. I can't wait. After my senior year, I am off. USC baby!! Yeah right. That's only if I get accepted. And then after that, it's only if I can afford it. Oh, well, I can always dream. *wink*
IceRose : Thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback. I'll bring Max back soon enough. There are so many more things to go through. *happy*
Apathygirl666 : You hate Doug? But he hasn't done anything bad. Yeah. Everyone seems keen on the Max pushing Liz up against a locker again. I wonder why?? *wink*
Midnight Magi : Thanks for the feedback. Wow. now I feel like an established writer now that I have feedback from you... hehe... is that enough flattery to get you to update a couple of your stories? Eh, it didn't hurt to try. *big*
Sheeijan :Thanks for the feedback and thank you for reading too!! Lol... I didn't think about the whole enhanced smelling of bad odors... good to keep in mind!! Thanks again!! *big*
Kitcat26 : No worries, Max will definitely be dealt with for everything. Haha... I wrote my story because I got bored during health and you wrote yours because you got bored during English? Well, as they say... great minds thing alike. *big*
Rattlebox : "Transitional'? What does that mean? Doug will be dead? What? Do you plan on killing him? You are going to kill off one of my characters?*sad* Poor poor Doug. He was simply a victim. He didn't even see it coming. *tongue* "Hey little girl... would you like some candy?" If anyone said that to me? I would run like hell, screaming at the top of my lungs. Tess's agenda? As in what she does during the day? Hmm... I wonder. I didn't know people did other things other than Liz. *wink*The alien buzzsaw? Since when did Max become a tool? Hehe... just messing with ya. Thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback!!
Rapunzel : Thanks for the feedback, Kari. Wow. You reread the story? I think that's the best compliment someone can give, to go back and read it again. So thanks. Yes, the chemical sniffing is not a safe thing to do. The correct way to smell chemicals is 'whafting'. I learned something from the stupid safety video they showed in the beginning of the year. I'm so proud of myself. *big*
roswellluver : Thanks for the feedback and thanks for reading!!

That's everyone. I should go do my homework now. Major project for english due on monday and another one on wednesday. After that, I'm home free!! YES!!! And guess what else? I bought me a pair of Spongebob Squarepants flipflops that are in the shape of Spongebob Squarepants. They are the coolest!! Now, everyone is jealous of me, aren't they?? *wink*
posted on 19-May-2002 12:05:23 AM by LiLEvEe
Just thought I’d let you know. I’ve got the next part in the making as we speak. ¾ the way through with it. I’ll probably post it tomorrow then. Since I’m kind of tired and in need of sleep. So… just thought you’d like to know. Whatever. I need sleep. Thanks everyone.
posted on 19-May-2002 1:01:46 PM by LiLEvEe
Well... so... I thought I had the chapter done. But I don't. I worked on it all morning too. And it's hecka long. SO I guess that's why. And I thought I had 3/4 of it done. But it turns out I still have a little over 1/3 of it left to finish. But it's time for church. So I need to go. Look for the update tonight, I guess. Thanks everyone.

Oh, and Fanatic101, we welcome you! If only more shadow lurkers would come out. I'd be oh so happy!! Thanks!!
posted on 19-May-2002 7:45:56 PM by LiLEvEe
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[ edited 2 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 8:14:38 PM ]
posted on 20-May-2002 12:24:05 AM by LiLEvEe
Eccentric One : Yea. I really shouldn't have updated. I should have done my homework, but then, I only have a week of school left. Teachers are crazy for assigning projects when school is almost over. Wine tasting? Is that your excuse to get liquored up, Kara? *wink* Yeah, the prostitute bit popped up in my head while I was typing up and creating Doug's character. I needed something that will give Doug the chance to react all pure and naive like-ish. Apparently, it worked well since it's the part that stuck out in everyone's minds. This part was the one that I had in mind for the word game. Well, it still lacked the crashing, but the stranger was to be the weird guy. You not leave feedback? That's not possible... hehe... Thanks for the great feedback as always Kara!! And the Pam confrontation thing... that'll be interesting!!
Rapunzel : What Liz feels for Doug? Hmm... We'll have to see about that. I mean, come on, every girl has fallen for the gentlemanly guy before just because he was just so darn sweet and cute. But then, every girl has also had the hots for the rebel... so I dunno, we'll have to see.
Eraser Room : Thank you for the incredibly long feedback. I've been missing you for a while, haven't I. So this one will maake up for it. Yeah, I was aiming to make the creepy guy... well... creepy. And the Tess/Sean thing that everyone is still so curious about has not found itself into the script yet, but it will get there eventually. So, no worries. It'll probably end up explaining itself as soon as everyone forgets about it. Just like the AP test scores. Everyone's all worried about what they made on it for a couple weeks after you take the test, and then once you forget all about them, the scores pop up in the mail. Same thing with the SATs. Yay! At least someone liked Doug instead of hating him with a vengeance right off the bat. Yay Eraser Room! You caught it! "Of course Max knew exactly what to say to that comment. But that's because he knows just what to do with the real Liz Parker." That was what I was really trying to get across with the whole prostitute and phone call comment. I was wondering if I got that part across right. But you mentioned it, so I must have. I applaud you. Thank you so much!!
Apathygirl666 : Thank you so much for your feedback and for your comment. I've never been called totally comically brilliant before. I've been called insane before though... many many times. How I come up with all of this? It just pops up in my head. So I guess that means I'm insane huh? Darn it. *big*
Kitcat26 : Thanks for reading!! Can't wait for the Max POV? Is that like twisting my arm to get it out? ::holds hands up in surrender:: "MERCY! MERCY!" *tongue*. You're the only one that commented on the Star Wars thing. I was going to put "Liz... I am your brother" but then I didn't think many people would get it. But you got the humor in the Star Wars tie in, right? But then what sticks out in most people's minds was the porn star mention thingy. So you think this is one of the better chapters? Hmm... I'll just have to work harder on it then, won't I? You don't like Doug? But... he didn't do anything. He was just being nice and sweet and everyone hates him off the bat. Will anyone believe me when I say that this is a CC fic? Does anyone trust me that I will stay CC? Hopefully they do, cuz I just can't stand UC. I can't stand it. I know there's like a polarist bug going around and even a M/L/Mi thing going on, but I just... don't like it. I'm a pure dreamer all of the way. People who like the UC, more power to ya, but I just... I prefer my dreamer couple just the way they are.

Okay, thank you everyone for their feedback and thank you to everyone who read the story!!!
posted on 21-May-2002 7:15:10 PM by LiLEvEe
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I know the story's been really complicated lately. So I think I'm going to start solving some of the confusion now, if I don't start adding to it, that is. So.... what all do you want solved first?? Let me know.

Evelynn
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posted on 21-May-2002 8:36:30 PM by LiLEvEe
Okay. Remember my 'floating chapter'? The one that's like, way ahead of where I am? Yeah, I just read it again. And you can tell that my writing has evolved from how I started writing this story. And I also realized that I want to be there, get to my floating chapter. I want to get there and I want to get there quick. So I think that I'm gonna try my best and try get another part out soon. Screw my English homework. I wasn't going to do it anyway. So, I guess, maybe look for an update late tonight or tomorrow?? Thanks!!
posted on 23-May-2002 11:26:16 PM by LiLEvEe
So... I've got the next part plotted out and dialogue basis typed up, but I'm not sure whether or not to work on it. And then whether or not to give it to you. I mean, I can either stay up until the wee hours of the night and finish and then post it early tomorrow morning, or I can wait until this weekend and finish it. Hmmm... to sleep or not to sleep?? I probably won't get it out until Monday, since I have no school... Memorial Day and all. I just like taunting you. And this will serve as a shameless bump as well. I know it might be a little too much too ask, but I'd really like a few more replies before I post the next part. So until then, thanks for reading...


Evelynn
posted on 24-May-2002 7:38:07 AM by LiLEvEe
---------------------------------

Okay, Kara. Anything you want. Anything at all.
And I officially get out of school after Tuesday of next week. After that, I will be taking a day or two to rest and relax up, and then I'll catch up on anything I've missed or postponed (I.e. movies, cleaning my room, etc.) and then I'll work on my stories. And I will promise you an update for at least one of my stories every other day, if not more. And that's all I have to say.

Anyone else have any requests??

Evelynn
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posted on 28-May-2002 11:58:59 PM by LiLEvEe
Okay Kitcat26, I'll give you a note. So, school is out, well, not officially until Thursday, but I don't have to take Exams, so they are for me. And first things first, I'm catching up on my movies. I've seen Spiderman, Star Wars, and About a Boy. I'm going to go see Life or something like it. And I think I might see the Sandra Bullock flick when it comes out. But that's all my cine movies. I've got to go get blockbuster movies later. I'm gonna rent all the star wars movies and rewatch them. And then I'll catch up on my sleep. And then I'll catch up on my stories, if that's okay with ya'll. I am, however, already working on the next part for Accept the Challenge though. If that's worth anything to ya. And that's my note. Thanks everyone. Should I update this story?? eh... maybe if I got more feedback. Thanks everyone!!

Evelynn
posted on 30-May-2002 12:31:20 AM by LiLEvEe
Okay, today's movie that I saw was Life or Something Like It. And so... I don't plan on going to the movies tomorrow. Tomorrow I plan on staying in the whole day and working out. And on Friday I have graduation practice. I'm not graduating, but because I'm fourth in my class, I get the honor of being an honor guard, which means, during graduation ceremony, I get to stand there and direct the seniors in which way to go and make sure they stay in a straight line. Isn't it great?? Well, and then Graduation is on Saturday. And there's a party for some of my friends who are graduating on Sunday. So I'm booked this weekend. I will be getting a part out for Accept the Challenge tomorrow. The problem is, is that I have a one track mind. The reason why I'm able to update Accept the Challenge is because I went back and reread all that I've written of the story. So I'm back into my writing style for that story and who and what all the characters are. I don't think I'll be able to write a part for The Denial Game yet. I think I'll get the characters mixed up. I mean, the names are the same but the personalities and character differ, you can see where I'd get confused, right? So that's what I wanted to say. Don't worry, Accept the Challenge is close to over. And then I'm going to have to go back and reread the Denial Game to get back into that writing style. I can't manage like all of these other authors with their four and five different stories. I tend to get confused. Thank you for your patience.

Oo... take the high-school stereotype quiz. It's fun. I really thought I was going to come out as a Goody-Two-Shoes, but I came out as an Outsider. And the little descriptions just hit home. It's kinda freaky... but cool. So... thanks again.

And Kara... bullseye... guilttrips get to me. I cannot stand having someone angry over something I did, even when it's not my fault. They give me puppy-dog eyes and I give in, even though I know they're fake or that they are just being over dramatic, I cannot stand guilt-trips.

Thanks everyone!!
posted on 30-May-2002 11:39:06 PM by LiLEvEe
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Chapter Eleven



Guess what I did Saturday. Sleep. Work. Sleep. Guess what I did Sunday. Sleep. Work. Sleep. And more sleep. So come Monday morning, I was quite tired. Sure, I had plenty of sleep, but all the energy just wasn’t showing. It’s like my body was storing it up, preparing myself for something or somethings. That’s how I knew that today was going to be one hell of a day.

So the first thing I did when I got to school was go straight to the water fountain. My throat was kind of dry trying to think of all of the possible things that could happen today. Pam Troy’s hair could have mysteriously fallen out this weekend. All of the teachers could have gone on strike. That creepy guy from last week could show up again. Hell, the government could even announce to the world that there really was a crash in ’47. Anything could happen, but, nonetheless, my throat was still parched and what better way to quench my thirst than good ole H2O.

“Um… Liz?”

My hand kind of stops midway from turning the nozzle and I look up, turning my head to the voice.

“Hello, Liz. I… um… I have not seen you in a while. How have you been?”

And I just stand there, dumbfounded and gawking. But then again, you’d be gawking too because there, stood Sean. Or at least I think it was Sean. Since the person standing beside me looked more like his evil twin of some sort. Or rather, good twin, in this case. God, this must be some kind of twilight-y zone shit.

No more baggy jeans, t-shirt, tennis shoes, evil smirks, nappy hair, yucky Sean. What was standing beside me was a kaki pant, tucked in nice, button collar shirt, groomed hair, loafers, 10-hour-‘Leave It To Beaver’-marathon Sean. It was like, some kind of strange conspiracy, spooky Disturbing Behavior kind of thing. Creepy.

“Liz?” He’s grinning uncomfortably, not smirking, grinning.

“Um… hey Sean. Yeah, it has been a while, hasn’t it?” And my voice pretty much gives away my uncomfortable-ness.

“I will get to the point, Liz. I just really want to apologize for the way I mistreated you before, gawking at you. You are not a piece of meat or a toy for my amusement. The way I acted around you was simply uncalled for and I assure you that it will never happen again. Please accept my apology, Liz. If there’s any way I can make it up to you, just let me know.” And he grins again.

And I stand there, dumbfounded, yet again. This is probably some kind of weird joke. The school camera media technology people are probably going to pop up any second now, right? Right? You know, the candid camera thing.

“Liz?” He’s looking at me strangely now, still grinning uncomfortably.

“Um… I… um…” clear my throat, “I-I need a drink.” Turn towards the water fountain and turn the little nozzle, causing water to spew forth, and I, in turn, solve the problem of my parched throat before turning back to Sean. And I find him with his hands over his ears and his eyes squeezed shut, and he’s… cowering. “Sean?” He doesn’t hear me so I kind of poke him.

And he jumps, startled, and then drops to his knees. “I-I’m sorry, Liz. I’m sorry. I’m so so so so so sorry. Please, please forgive me?”

And me, I stand there awkwardly, with everyone in the hall staring at us. “Of course, Sean.” And I walk away. All that just happened there was just too weird for me. But the thing is, my energy gauge was still almost full, meaning there was still a lot more to come. Something bigger than Sean begging me for forgiveness on his hands and knees.

Dude, and can you believe that it’s only the beginning of the day? I walk into first period and sit down next to Maria was a sigh before I turn to her. “You won’t believe what just hap-”

She interrupts me. “My mom wanted me to tell you that she wanted to meet with you today. So I guess we’ll just postpone our trip to the mall an hour or so.” She turns back to her things.

Wait… when did we decide that we were going to the mall? When did I decide that we were going to the mall? “We’re going to the mall?”

“Yeah.” She looks at me like I’m crazy and nods her head. “Right after you have a little meeting with my mom.”

“Am I invited?” Alex asks as he sits down in front of me and Maria.

“Nope. Sorry, Alex.” Maria shakes her head.

And Alex is pouting. Why can’t Alex go?

“I’m sorry, Alex.” Maria reaches out and pats his hand. “But me and Liz planned this to be a girls thing.” I, personally, don’t remember doing any planning, whatsoever.

Alex jerks his hand away and huffs. “Maria, you’re being sexist.”

“Yes,” Maria nods her head, “I am.”

“Fine.” Alex leans back in his chair and pouts again. “I didn’t want to go anyway.”

“Besides, Alex.” Maria continues. “You’re pretty much Liz’s brother. There’s a rule that you can’t be present when Liz is around, scoping out guys.”

He leans forward in his seat. “What guys? Liz, I thought we agreed. No guys.”

Yeah, I pretty my tuned them out after that. There’s only so much of their bickering and bantering that you can take before you go nuts. And it seems as though I have a whole mall expedition with Maria later on today to prepare myself for.

Maybe that was it, the big energy sucker for my day. But I had a feeling that it wasn’t. There was something else, something bigger. Or maybe I was just crazy. Apparently so, because come lunchtime, everyone was talking about my craziness, my peculiar-ness, and particularly, my engagement to Sean.

“Are you sure?”

In the same loud whisper from before came from the girl whose all for high school conformity, next to my locker.

“Positive. I heard her myself. Sean was down on his knee and Liz said, and I quote, ‘Of course, Sean.’”

“Wow. I can’t believe they’re getting married.”


“What?!” There’s a loud clang, and it’s me, slamming my locker door as I walk up to the two girls who were both most likely the product of MTV, drilling senseless thoughts into their heads as they willingly obliged the it’s every whim. ‘Listen to this music and this music alone.’ ‘Dress scanky, like her.’ Damn that Carson Daly. He’s a tool I tell you, a complete tool.

“Liz… I didn’t know you were there.” It’s funny that she knows my name. Especially since I don’t know hers. And she’s fidgeting. I think I’m making her nervous. Hehe… it feels good. Feel the power.

“I’m engaged to Sean?” Cross my arms over my chest and stare at the two girls as they fidget some more.

“Well, um… that’s what I heard from everyone else.” The second girl says.

“I thought you said you heard me yourself?” And I raise my eyebrows at her, for an added affect, increasing their fidgeting.

“Well… um… not… I-um…”

And I just walk away from them and out into the quad, carrying my nifty little water bottle with me, plopping down at my spot. I turn to Maria, with her cheese puffs, and she looks at me.

“I heard.” She smiles a sympathetic smile at me and scoots over next to me, leans my head on her shoulder and strokes my hair. “Tell me all about it.”

I glance at Michael. He’s just sitting there, sketchbook in hand. Apparently, he’s not interested.

And I sigh, giving in. “Sean apologized to me this morning. He dropped down on his knees, asking for forgiveness. But everyone else thought he was proposing to me. And now, the school thinks I’m engaged to Sean.”

“So I heard.” She continues to stroke my hair.

“Why did this happen to me?” Am I whining? Yes, I’m whining.

“And you don’t like the attention, do you?” She asks me in that calming, grandma kind of tone.

I shake my head and pout. “No.”

“All right, then. Don’t worry, Liz. I’ll fix everything.” I lift my head from her shoulder, giving her a questioning glance as she scoots away from me, and closer to the hippie-haired boy.

“Hey, Michael.” He lifts his head up in time to see Maria pin his shoulder back to the tree before she glues her mouth to his. And I stare on, like everyone else now noticing in the quad, with my mouth open. What the freaking heck is she doing? She finally pulls away and Michael has the same expression on his face as I do, while Maria is smiling smugly. And people are staring at us.

“That was phase one. Two more to go.” And she stands up and walks away.

And I look at Michael whose trying to recompose himself, picking up his sketchbook again. “Apparently, unlike you, she likes the attention.”

And we both stare after her, wondering what she’s going to do next. My eyes follow her as she walks towards the center of the quad, stopping at the ‘tree of knowledge’ and staring down at Max and the bimbo brigade.

And I have to hand it to Maria. Me and Michael don’t even have to lean forward to hear her. She says it loud enough for the entire quad to hear her. “You,” she points her finger at Max, “are one arrogant, self-centered bastard.”

And if that didn’t do it enough, she turns to Pam and the Pam-ettes. “And you. I feel embarrassed, ashamed, and disgraced to have ever been one of you, you stuck-up, slutty, incompetent dimwits.” And as icing on the cake, Maria actually leans forward and slaps Pam, right across the face, before walking back towards us, sitting down, and going back to her cheese puffs.

Michael goes back to his sketchpad and I pick back up my nifty little water bottle and take a sip, before I recap it and put it back down. I look over at Michael. He puts his sketchpad down and we both stare at Maria. She looks up, a slow smile creeping up on her face. “That felt good.”

And me and Michael just shake our head, smiling. This day has been one hell of a day so far, but something tells me that it wasn’t over yet, not by a long shot…


--------------


Aside from Maria’s stunt, or shall I say stunts, the rest of the school day was starting to seem very uneventful. In chemistry, we had yet another lab to do. Today we get to make aspirin, acetylsalicylic acid. Yay! Can you feel my excitement? I’m excited.

I gather my things and head to Max’s lab table. Does he mind? Nope. He’s even got the space cleared for me, waiting and ready. And as I set my things up, it seems kind of… comforting, me and Max, working together like this.

“So… Sean, huh?” He asks, breaking the silence, but he isn’t looking at me. Nope. He’s staring at and setting up the Bunsen burner, checking the gas, tubing and all.

And I smile. “Yeah. We’re getting married. Jealous?”

“Profoundly.” He repeatedly works the striker until the gas catches it, lighting the fire ablaze, unruly and erratic, until he adjusts it, calming and fixing it.

And that’s the end of our conversation. We didn’t say any more after that. We simply worked on our lab. Sure, I want to ask him what he thought of Maria’s little stunt, what he was doing sitting with Pam Troy and her dronies, whether or not we will be sharing any more kisses, and whether he would elaborate on that ‘profoundly’, but I don’t. I wouldn’t want to interrupt the comforting silence of the situation, or at least that’s my excuse. I’m not a coward. I’m not.

And all that time that I spent staring at the bright blue flame and talking to myself, the bell had rung, and everyone was already filing out of the classroom, leaving me rushing to put up all of my lab equipment and rushing out the door.

And while I’m rushing through the hallway, I notice one thing, everyone is staring at me, still. Well, you’d think what Maria did was enough to get the school uninterested in me. But no, freaking small towns and their nosy inhabitants.

“Nice fashion trend.” Someone shoulders me. I turn back and see Pam and her two sheep walking away laughing. But I choose to ignore them. That’s right, I’m not going to lower myself to their level. Nope. I’m going to keep walking, straight to class, like I always do.

And I manage to make it into the door just before the bell rings, not that Coach Thompson would have cared, after all, it was just a lame health class. But, as I walk in, everyone continues to turn and stare at me. And I just sit down. I don’t care anymore. If they don’t have anything better to do than look, let them look.

The freshman sitting in front of me turns in her chair and glances back at me quickly and then turns back around, as if I didn’t notice. But, again, I choose to ignore it. By tomorrow, everything will go back to normal. The girl turns her head back and takes a short glance at me again. And I am going to ignore it. Today is just a test of my nerves. That’s all. God’s seeing how much I can take before I explode. And the girl turns in her seat again.

“What?” My voice comes out agitated and annoyed. And I think I’m making her fidget… hehe… I’ve been doing that a lot lately.

“It’s just… um… is that… are those your glasses?” She points to the top of my head and I freeze. Oh God, no. This can’t be happening. Slowly reach up to the top of my head and pull them off, the yucky brown, large, bug-eyed looking safety goggles I had on during chemistry. And apparently the ones that I forgot to take off, as well. Great, just freaking great. Groan.

And I stand up, head lowered and walk to the front of the classroom. “Coach Thompson?”

“Yeah?” He looks up from his attendance card.

“Can I go return these to my chemistry class? I forgot to give them back.” I finally look up at him and he’s looking at me strangely.

“When did you have chemistry?” He hands the attendance card to one of the students to put outside the door.

I seem to have gone back to talking softly and ducking my head again. “Last period.”

He kind of raises an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you give them back then?”

And I sigh. “I forgot to take them off.”

And he looks at me, unbelievingly. “How can you forget that you have safety goggles on?”

And I sigh again. “They were on top of my head.” I point to the top of my head for emphasis.

“You mean to tell me that you wore those out in the hallway?” He’s trying to suppress a smile, but I see his lips curving at my misfortune.

Sigh and nod my head. “Yes.”

And he chuckles at me. Hell, I don’t blame him. If I hadn’t been staring at Ma- the blue flame the whole time in class, I would have remembered to take the goggles off.

And once his laughter dies, he finally answers me. “Yeah, go ahead. The class is going to the auditorium though. So meet us in there.”

I nod my head and go to gather my things to go back to the chemistry room.

“Auditorium?” the perky voice of one of the wannabe teeny-boppers in the room speaks up. “What are we doing there?”

“We’ve got a speaker from the ‘Aim For Success’ program to come talk to you today.” I heard Coach Thompson explain before I exit the room and walk back to return the goggles.

Stupid goggles, I curse them. You are the reason why Primpy-Pam got a pass at me. Tisk-tisk, now I’ll just have to get her back at it. I go over to Coach Schierling’s room only to find it dark and empty. It must be his conference period. I’ll just have to give it back to him another time then.

Now, to the auditorium for this stupid speaker. Should I go, or shouldn’t I? What the hell. Where else could I go? I seriously don’t feel like walking home today. Too lazy. I know, I feel the energy, but it’s not time yet. There’s still a whole day ahead for me.

So once I get to the auditorium doors, I hesitate. I’ve been to this Aim For Success presentation before in middle school. If you didn’t know, it’s a presentation about sex, STDs, and making the right choices in life. Topics that I’m not exactly comfortable with. And the last time that I attended, I was sacrificed to be a volunteer. I swear, that guy that does the presentation had something against me, making me stand in front of hundreds of people, playing his stupid games and being a stupid guinea pig. Let’s just say, it wasn’t pretty.

Nevertheless, I find myself pulling the doors open and stepping in. And once the door closes and my eyes adjust to the darkness, I see him, standing up there, on the stage, wearing the same name on his nametag as before. It’s him, Eddie.

And some people in the audience have their hands raised and he’s scanning the crowd, which, like last time, means he’s looking for a volunteer. And me? I hightail it out of there, jerking at the door with all my strength.

“You,” and I already know where he’s pointing to without having to turn around and look at him. “Brown hair, trying to ditch this presentation. Come on up here.”

I turn around slowly, hoping and praying that someone else is trying to sneak out of the auditorium as well, but I turn to find not only everyone looking at me, but more importantly, Eddie, looking and pointing right at me.

And I groan and mumble as I slowly make my way up the stage. I should have just made a run for it. Shoulda, coulda, woulda.

I get there and he actually reaches his hand out for me to shake. “Hi. I’m Eddie.”

“I know.” And I glare at him.

He, in turn, smiles. “And you are?”

“Liz.” I remove my hand from his.

“Liz…?” he pushes, questioning.

“Liz.” I state. Don’t let me start preaching about last names.

“Okay, Liz.” He rubs his hands together. “Thank you for volunteering for us this evening.” And I scoff. That’s right, scoff.

He goes on into his introduction about STDs and protected sex and unprotected sex, and I ignore him, scanning the crowd, praying that there isn’t anyone I know out there. And as luck would have it, everyone I know is out there. Maria, Alex, Michael, Tess, Kyle, Sean, Paul, the pompous pom-pom pack, Doug, and most importantly, Max, smirking from his seat in the way back. And I smile and smirk back, that is, until Eddie starts with his first demonstration.

“All right, Liz. We are going to show the girls and boys today, the many options that you have in life with this life forecaster.” He pulls out a large cube and hands it to me.

I look it over. “Dice?”

“But not just any die. A magic die. One that can predict your future.” He winks at me.

And I look at the giant die again. “Nifty.”

“All right, now. If you’ll look at the chart,” he clicks his projector button and another slide shows up on the projector screen, “you’ll see all the different options you have. Each outcome of each roll gives you a different outcome in life. First off, what kind of college do you want to go to, Liz?”

I skim the options. And me? I want to go to USC. That’s right, University of Southern California. Go Trojans. Shall I tell him that? Shall I tell him? Oh, what the heck. “Four-year university.”

“All right, Liz. That means you need a three. Roll that die, and see if you get to go to a four-year university.”

I roll the die and what do I get? I get a one. Great. I get a one. “Aww… it looks like you’re stuck at a community college, Liz. That’s too bad. A smart girl like you would have done well at a four year university.”

And I’m glaring at him again. Screw him.

“Okay, next life altering decision. How many kids do you plan on having, Liz?”

“None.” I think my answer came out fast enough.

“Well, that’s a pity. I’m sure you’d make a nice little mother. But,” he clicks his little projector thingy, “the odds are against you, Liz. In order to come up with no children, you’re going to need to roll a one. Any other number and you’ve got yourself a litter of kids.”

I blow on the big die for luck before I toss it onto the stage. And I come up with… a two.

“Well, look at that, Liz. According to our life forecaster, you are going to be giving birth to one child. Congratulations.” And Eddie actually claps his hands and pats me on the back.

And I glare at him. Damn him. “The evil die lies.”

But he chooses to ignore my comment. “All right, Liz. Another important choice in life is whether or not you get hitched.” He looks at me. “How about it, Liz? Are you planning on tying the knot with that special someone some day?”

And sure enough, my eyes go straight to the back of the auditorium, staring straight into amber pools that can make my knees turn to jell-o. I turn back to Eddie. “No way in hell.”

“Aww… I can just hear the heart of every guy breaking all across America.”

And I roll my eyes at him. Stupid Eddie.

“I love you, Liz.” I hear someone yell from the audience. And frankly, I don’t want to even think about who it could possibly have been to yell that out.

“Well, luck just isn’t on your side,” Eddie continues, “because most people in America do get married as opposed to those who don’t. So that means,” he clicks his little projector button, “that the only way you aren’t going to get married, is if you roll a one. Any other number and you’d better break out the rice and wedding bells, you’re going to be getting hitched.”

And out of all the questions, if I wanted anything, it’s this. Never in hell will I get married. Marriages just don’t work. The number of divorces are now up to half the number of marriages out there. What, with everyone getting bored of each other so quickly and all. There’s the arguments, the fighting, the problems. And frankly, I don’t want any part of it. And if it doesn’t end in divorce, it ends with one of the two, killing the other. Trust me, I know.

So I use my super mind powers and will the die to land on a one. I mean, if the pattern is consistent, it has to land on a one, right. So far, it’s landed on a three, then a two, and one comes next, right? And guess what. It rolls and rolls and rolls, and stops, and facing up was one big dot. A one. A one. I’m just about to jump up and down with joy, except the die shifts and rolls… to a three.

And my face falls.

“Ooo… almost had it there, Liz, but I’m sorry. You’re definitely getting married. We can’t let that kid of yours go without a father, now can we?”

And I’m glaring. Die Eddie, Die.

I turn and scan the crowd again. My eyes lock with his as he sits there, in the way back, smirking at me with a smug look on his face. Damn him…


--------------


So, by the end of the Aim For Success presentation, once we were through with all the preaching on celibacy, safe sex, and all the stupid demonstration games about STDs, as the volunteer, I left for the day with a card that said that I had AIDS, a card that said I had herpes, a card that said I had genital warts, and a card that said I was having a baby boy. Ain’t it grand? Damn Eddie and his stupid presentation and his stupid presentation card games.

Why is it that he always chooses me to be the volunteer? Am I even called that? A volunteer when I didn’t even volunteer myself? I’m more like an unfortunate victim, that’s what I am. So when the presentation was over, I decided to stay back and ask him. “Why is it that you always choose me?”

“Huh?” He looks up at me while still packing his projector things away. “Why do I always choose you for what?”

For what? For what? Don’t tell me he doesn’t know. Or is he just playing stupid? “To be the so-called ‘volunteer’.” And I actually make invisible quotation marks for the word volunteer with my fingers.

And he shrugs his shoulders. “I saw you trying to sneak out and I figured I’d embarrass you a little.”

So he was punishing me. Okay. “What about the time before?”

“What?” He’s done packing away his things.

“I’ve already seen this presentation before in eighth grade. You chose me to be the ‘volunteer’ then too.” Again I made the invisible quotation marks with my fingers. You think he gets it that I wasn’t actually a volunteer?

“Oh, I did?” He scratches his head.

Yeah, you did, buddy.

And he shrugs. “Every presenter needs his lovely assistant and you are the loveliest out there. So I guess that’s why you were picked both times.”

What am I supposed to say to that, other than that I don’t believe him? “Aren’t assistants normally blondes?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. I like brunettes a lot better. I think they make for better little side kicks.” And he winks at me. Winks.

“Are you hitting on me? Because you know you’re not allowed to hit on me, right?” I take a step back, away from him. There’s nothing scarier than hearing a person preach about abstinence for over half an hour and then have them come on to you.

“No.” He shakes his head, rolls his eyes, and sighs, picking up his super-duper suitcase, filled with his tools to teach the world about safe sex, one school at a time. “Well, I’m off. Thank you for helping out with the presentation today. You did a good job.”

“You’re welcome.” And I wave at him as he walks out the auditorium doors. Sigh. Eddie isn’t all that bad, when he’s not telling you about the weird side affects to receiving ailments of the sexual kind.

I hop off the stage and head out of the school. I still have that meeting with Mrs. Deluca to attend to. Not exactly something I’m looking forward to. Don’t get me wrong. I love Mrs. Deluca. It’s just that I’d rather be at home, sleeping. I know, I know. I’ve had plenty of sleep this weekend. But I just feel like I’m going to be needing it. I don’t know. Call it intuition, if you will. I just… it’s just a feeling.

“Hey, Liz. Wait up.”

I stop in the middle of the hallway, turn to the voice, and see a figure walking towards me. A very muscular and nice looking figure. “Hi Doug.”

He makes it next to me in a few steps and we start walking out to the parking lot together. “I saw you up there.” He’s referring to the presentation in the auditorium. “You looked good.”

And me? I blush as we step outside into the parking lot, and into the hot and bright sunny sun.

“So.” I look over at him and he’s got his hands in his pockets. He’s nervous. “Um… can I give you a ride home?”

“Oh, I’m not going home.” I scan around the parking lot, looking for someone. I wonder if he left yet.

“Oh, well I can give you a ride to wherever it is you’re going.” I’m not looking at Doug, but I bet he still has his hands in his pockets, nervous.

Should I tell him? Should I tell him that I’m looking to get a ride from Max? Should I? “Actually, Doug…”

And I was going to tell him. I really was. That is, until I saw Max’s jeep, of course. Max’s jeep with Max behind the wheel. Max’s jeep with Max behind the wheel, and Pam Troy in the passenger seat. That’s right, Pam ‘I-want-to-sexually-assault-you’ Troy looking smug, sitting in the front seat with him. And I feel funny. What is Max doing with Pam? Or what is Max planning on doing with Pam? Or what is Max planning on letting Pam do to him?

And I still feel funny. Not funny ha-ha. Definitely not funny ha-ha. More of a weird kind of funny. Odd. It’s a weird strange, peculiar pang in my gut. It’s weird. “… that sounds great, Doug.”

“Great. Um… my car’s this way.” Doug starts to walk off and I follow behind him. I mean… Doug is a nice guy, right? He’s loyal, reliable, really cute, doesn’t have a gazillion girls constantly throwing themselves at him. Did I mention he’s loyal? And if I’ve been reading him right, he likes me.

I mean, that’s a definite thing you have to look for in a guy, right? It’s not just that you like him, he has to like you back. And Doug does, unlike a certain smirking layer-boy. But then again, Pam is the complete blonde-haired, blue-eyed, big boobed, all American girl. Who wouldn’t go for her?

I seemed to have fallen a few steps behind Doug, but I look up and find him holding the passenger door open for me. I smile warmly at him and slide into his car. He has a nice car. A really nice car. The kind that you’d expect the captain of the football team and the popular guy that he is to have. Give him another warm smile that he returns. It’s kind of nice. They aren’t as fun as smirks, the smiles. But, hey, I can settle. Right?

“So, where are you heading?” He pulls the car out of the parking lot.

“Um… I’m heading over to Maria’s, but could you take me over to the Crashdown first. I think I want to change. If you don’t mind, of course. I don’t want to be a hassle.” I only added the last comments to be polite. Because that’s the kind of girl that should be around Doug, a polite one. I already know he’ll say yes. He’s a good guy like that.

“No problem, Liz. I was in the mood for an Alien Blast anyway.” He smiles at me again. And yeah. Smiles aren’t all that bad. I decided that, yeah, I could settle. I could get adjusted to smiles instead. And just forget that smirks ever existed.

The car ride to the Crashdown was a quiet one. Well, aside from the music blaring from the speakers. We didn’t really talk. I could tell Doug wanted to say something by the way he kept looking towards me and opening and closing his mouth. But I remained looking out the window, pretending to be in my own little world, which I was.

We walked into the Crashdown and Doug went to sit in a booth while I fixed him an Alien Blast before heading to the back and up to my room. I didn’t want to look at the customers. Nope. Because once I stepped into the diner I heard the sickening flirtatious giggle of pom-pom Pam. And while I went to deliver Doug his drink, I saw the brown haired head and the leather jacket clad back of a certain someone. And I didn’t want to see any more than that. No siree. Don’t want to see him smiling, or worse yet, smirking. Don’t want to see how much he’s enjoying himself… with Pam.

So I’m upstairs changing. I’m not even sure into what. Just the first pair of jeans and t-shirt I came across. Why did I want to go home and change again? Oh yeah. There was a pull pulling me towards here. Some mystical force. And now I know, it was just Pam, trying to rub it in.

I walk back out into the diner and keep my eyes on Doug. He smiles and gets out of his booth, pulling his wallet out of his pocket. I put my hand on his, stopping him. “This one’s on me.”

“No. I’d feel bad not paying. After all, I did drink it.” He smiles at me and puts a five down on the table before sticking his wallet back into his back pocket.

I pick up the five and stick it in his front pocket. “You can just pay for me next time.” And he smiles. Because I just told him that he’ll pay next time. Meaning that there will be a next time. And it makes him feel special.

“Okay. Let’s go.” He motions for me to start heading out the diner, and then opens the door for me, like the gentleman that he is.

“We’re heading for Maria’s?” He asks, starting up the engine of his shiny car and buckling his seat belt.

“Well, Maria’s mom’s office. Do you know where that is?” Does he know where that is? Of course he knows where it is. Everyone knows where it is. This is a small freaking town. Everyone knows where everything is.

“Of course. Is there anywhere else you wanted to stop by first?” He pulls out of the Crashdown parking lot.

“No, just there.” I return to my staring out the window in my own little world thing. And Doug remained silent until we were at Mrs. Deluca’s office. “So, here we are.” He turns off the engine and continues to walk me to the door.

“Thank you, Doug.” I’m about to head in, but he stops me.

“So… uh… Liz.” He runs his hand through his hair, nervously. “I was wondering… um… if you weren’t busy Friday, we could-“

“I work on Fridays.” I interrupted him. I didn’t really want to interrupt him. But I did. I don’t know why.

“Oh, okay.” He has that pouty sad look on his face. “How about Saturday?”

Sigh. “I work all weekend. Sorry, Doug.” I really am sorry. I really do feel bad. I do.

“Well, how about I come visit you during work then? If you don’t mind, of course.”

And I smile at him. Because he just tries so hard. “I’d like that, Doug. And I can join you during my breaks.”

And he’s smiling so wide now. “Okay, um… I-I guess I’ll be going now. Bye, Liz.”

“Bye, Doug.” I semi-wave at him.

And you know what he does? He takes a step forward and puts his arms around me. He hugs me. And what do I do? I stiffen awkwardly and pat him nonchalantly on the back until he pulls away. “Okay… um… bye, Liz.”

And I semi-wave again before opening the door and entering Mrs. Deluca’s office. And guess who I find sitting patiently behind the receptionist’s area.

“So… Doug, huh?”

I sigh before plopping down in a seat. “Yeah. I guess. I don’t know. He’s… he’s a good guy. You know? He’s loyal, dependable, cute, nice.”

“Sure.” She raises her eyebrows at me. “If you want to date a poodle.”

“Maria, he’s not a poodle.” I defend Doug. I mean, I should be defending Doug, right? Since he’s a nice guy and all.

“I’m just saying.” Maria raises her hands up in surrender. “Why lower your standards?”

Wait. Lower my standards? What is she talking about? “Lower my standards?”

“Yeah,” she shrugs. “If you were aiming to get his highness, you might as well stick to it.”

Wait. What? “What? What are you talking about, Maria?”

Maria sighs, apparently frustrated with me. “Mr. High and Mighty himself.”

And when I’m still looking at her confused, she throws her hand up in the air, exasperatedly. “Max!”

Oh… wait… “What about Max?”

“Ugh… God…” she rolls her eyes. “Just… forget it. Forget I ever said a thing.”

Hehe… and I have succeeded in getting Maria to stop talking about it. It’s not like I really just didn’t want to discuss Max. Oh wait, yeah, I didn’t.

“They’ve been waiting for you.” She points into the main door behind the counter. And I’m thinking, ‘they’?

Walk slowly over to the big wooden door and knock before turning the handle slowly while pushing the door forward and stepping in.

“Liz, you’re here.” Mrs. Deluca stands up from behind her desk and then motions to the two seats in front of her. The ones with people sitting in them. “Look whose here to see you, Liz.”

“Liz?” Mrs. Deluca asks. She’s probably feeling a bit uncomfortable, seeing as how I’m just standing there, staring. But then again, what does she expect me to do when she holds a secret surprise meeting to introduce me to two strangers? One of whom scared the begeezies out of me last week.

“Why don’t you come have a seat, Liz?” Mrs. Deluca motions towards a seat that’s stationed at the side of her desk. It’s not too close to the strangers. It’s actually closer to Mrs. Deluca’s chair. She probably knows that I’m not all too fond of creepy strangers. So I edge slowly over to the seat, keeping an eye on the two weird men, just in case they try anything.

And once I’m seated, I turn to look at everyone, and everyone is turned to look at me. The attention is kind of getting to me. It’s weirding me out. Especially the way the creepy guy keeps staring at me, straight in the eyes.

“So, Liz,” Mrs. Deluca begins, “Let me introduce you to everyone. This,” she motions towards the creepy guy, “is Ed Harding, your mother’s cousin. Remember I told you about him?” Oh yes, the creepy guy from the diner is my mother’s cousin. I should have known. I should have made the connection between the two once I saw how insane he was.

Sigh. I nod my head, confirming that I do indeed remember, and Ed decides to take it from there. “We’ve met. It’s good to see you again, Elizabeth.” He stands up from his chair and leans forward, reaching his hand out for me to shake. And I nod, smile, and shake his hand, because it was the polite thing to do.

“And this,” he motions to the person sitting beside him, “is Jesse Ramirez, my attorney.”

“How do you do?” Ramirez reaches out to shake my hand. And I, again, do the polite thing. Nod, smile, and shake his hand back.

“Now, Elizabeth,” Ramirez begins, opening up his briefcase. “I would like you to know that my client would like to give you his condolences on the departing of your mother and the imprisonment of your father. Had he been aware and informed of these events sooner, he would have been present at the trial and the funeral and such, but unfortunately, he was not.”

And me, I sit there and try to understand all that he’s saying. It’s all catching up to me slowly. Wait a minute. Mom had a funeral? Why wasn’t I informed of this?

“He would also like you to know that he is very well interested in taking custody of you. We will begin the paperwork right away. A home on Antarian Avenue is as of…” he glances at his watch for a few seconds, “…now bought and being prepared, in which you will reside in with Mr. Harding. Your name will be corrected as soon as the paperwork is done and completed. Until then, I suggest that you prepare for the responsibilities that will await you upon becoming a Harding. If there is anything that you need to be informed of that comes to my attention, I will contact you. Now,” he turns to Mrs. Deluca, “we will be on our way. We have other business and paperwork to fill out elsewhere. Thank you for your time.” He stands up, shakes Mrs. Deluca’s hand, nods to me, and turns towards the door.

Mr. Harding, on the other hand, stands up from his chair leisurely, as if the world turned on his accord. And he looks at me, frowning before he pulls a small paper sack out from the pocket of his coat. Why he has a coat in this hot and humid New Mexico weather is beyond me. He hands the small sack to me and I accept it. “It’s only a temporary adjustment, but it’ll have to make due… for now.” He turns to Mrs. Deluca and nods his head slightly. “Good day, Mrs. Deluca.” And both men exit the room.

And I remain seated there, still absorbing it all in. The creepy guy from the diner is my mother’s cousin. And my mother’s cousin is interesting in taking custody of me, meaning he wants to own me. The creepy guy wants to own me. And they are going to let him, because he’s the closest family I’ve got left, despite how wacko he is. Well, damn.

“Liz?” Mrs. Deluca is calling to me but I don’t look up at her. I’m still trying to soak everything that just happened in.

They have bought and are preparing a house on Antarian Avenue. The homes on Antarian Avenue aren’t houses. They aren’t houses at all. They are mansions. And I am to reside in one with Mr. Harding. I am going to have to pick all of my things back up and move into a new and different home. A mansion, but still a different and strange home, nonetheless. And I wonder who else I will be forced to live with.

I lift my head up and look at Mrs. Deluca, tilting my head to the side. “Does he have a family?”

Mrs. Deluca’s eyebrows knit together and she shakes her head. “To the best of my knowledge, no. There was no mention of a family of any sort. The only family he has left is you.” Hmmm… that’s good to know.

“So, you met him before?” Mrs. Deluca is smiling uneasily. I think she’s uneasy about springing this on me all of a sudden. As well she should be. But, what the hell. My mother’s death was quite the surprise. As was my father’s imprisonment. Me moving into an orphanage was a shocker. And also my move to the Whitman’s residence. What is one more drastic, hasty, and impulsive change going to do to me? Cause me to have a nervous breakdown? Heh… hah…. Hehe…. Haha… heha…. Hahe….

“Liz, are you okay?” Mrs. Deluca is looking at me, concerned. As well she should be. After all, I’m Liz. And everyone should worry about Liz since Liz is a tad bit… crazy, you know? Hehe… sigh. Ain’t life just grand? Ain’t it?

“Liz, dear…” Mrs. Deluca starts up again with her ‘let’s talk about what just happened’ shit. You’re not a therapist, you’re a freaking child care and custody lady.

“I’ve got to go. Can’t be late for the mall, now can I?” And I just walk right out of her office, without even saying goodbye. Now that’s not polite, is it Lizzie? No, it’s not. But… I could care less right now.

“Maria! Mall! Now!” And I walk out the front door of the office building, hoping Maria’s following, because I’m hell as not going to be going back in there to get her.

“Liz?” Maria’s voice comes from behind me. And it’s a good thing. That means she’s following. And I just stand at her car door, hear her click the lock open, and I get in before we head off to the mall.

Right then, I freeze and grab onto whatever amount of energy I have left. Can’t waste it all on the creepy man, now can we? After all, we still have a while to go, because, like it or not, my day has not yet ended.

Nope. Not by a long shot…


-------------------------------------------------



[ edited 3 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 8:15:51 PM ]
posted on 31-May-2002 1:07:45 AM by LiLEvEe
You're right Kitcat26, it's '47. I don't know what I was thinking. I fixed it accordingly. Thanks for catching that!!

Evelynn
posted on 31-May-2002 11:51:03 AM by LiLEvEe
*


[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 8:16:37 PM ]
posted on 2-Jun-2002 3:02:45 PM by LiLEvEe
*


[ edited 2 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 8:19:44 PM ]
posted on 4-Jun-2002 6:50:05 PM by LiLEvEe
So... if you haven't guessed, I'm back. But unfortunately, I don't have a new part for you. At least not yet. I haven't had the... I guess you could call it... motivation to write the next part yet. It's not really writer's block, since I know what I'm going to be writing about next. But it's more like a hesitation to write the next part. What would you call it? Laziness. That's it. Okay, anyway. I did spend all of today going back through and editing this story and Accept the Challenge. Took me quite a while too. So. I guess we'll go on to the feedback (which I very much appreciate):

Devilish : Welcome and thank you. I'll try to update soon. *happy*

Eraser Room : Rest asure. There is a reason behind all that I am doing. There is always a reason. And it will be revealed when it seems fit. Thank you for the wonderful feedback, as always. *wink*

Kitcat26 : You'll get your jealous Max. Trust me. There are many moments that you do not see. But Liz does not see all, know all. You'll see many moments in the Max POV... if I can get to it. *sad*

Saymi : Thanks for the feedback. Yeah. Pam Troy. There's a reason. Yeah. Maria has issues. And lastly, I never really noticed it, that the guys like Liz. Hmm... Sean, Doug, and Max... that's it I think. *big*

PixieChic : Yeah, there's a reason why Max is hanging out with Pam. The Doug thing will work out in the end. The guy at the crashdown was Liz's mom's cousin, Ed Harding. I'll give you that. *wink*

roswellluver : Thanks for the feedback. It's good that they are irritating you, that's their purpose. However, I meant for Kyle to be a very annoying character. I'll have to write him back in soon. *big*

Juliette : Thanks for the feedback. *happy*

Sheeijan : Don't worry, everything will work out for Doug's favor... I think. Don't worry about the Max thing though. There's a reason. *wink*

Rapunzel : Thanks for the feedback. Doug does seem like a sweet guy huh? You'll have to wait and see about who was in Mrs. Deluca's office though. *big*

Twilighteyes1974 : Well, I never even thought about that, Pam brainwashing him... hmmm... No, I don't think I can go with that. But thanks for the idea. And thanks for the feedback. *happy*

aZNroSweLl anglgrl : Thanks for the feedback. Yeah Pam and Max. It'll work out in the end. *wink*

alienchica : Doug is creeping you out? Wow. Weird. Everyone else seems to find him sweet. I guess it is kinda weird to find someone too innocent. I'll try to unravel the whole hierarchy deal in the upcoming chapters and such. *big*

rattlebox : It was never mentioned that Liz thought Doug was dull. And yes, Tim, since you're a guy, you wouldn't understand. *tongue*

Eccentric One : Yes, Kara. Just keep repeating it over and over again. We'll make it through... hehe. You seem to always pick up on the little things huh? And again, if I can finish this story and get to the Max POV before July, then I'll get one out. If not, I'm not too sure. Thank you for the feedback, as always. *big*

Calinia :Thank you for the feedback. There's a reason behind the whole Max and Pam thing. Don't worry. And yes, Doug does seem to be a good guy huh? Well... okay... Creepy guy was Ed, I'll give you that. But I won't tell who was in the office. You'll have to see for yourself. I'm not too sure that Liz has a past other than her whole parent problem thingy. No one knows about that other than adults, I would think. *wink*

Lindsey : Thanks for the feedback. It will all be explained later. The whole thing. Everything. I'll try to post as soon as I can. *happy*

frenchkiss70 :There's a reason for the Max and Pam thing. I don't think it's all too much Max trying to make Liz jealous though. There may be more to it. *wink*

care bears : Thank you for the feedback. And thank you for the bump. *big*

So... that's it. All the feedback. Anymore questions? I'll see if I can answer them. Thank you everyone. Oh wait, anyone up for another word game? If you are, I'll come up with the words. Though the other two times I had a word game, I only ended up using two of the three word when I wrote the chapter... oh well. Thank you again.
posted on 5-Jun-2002 12:52:10 AM by LiLEvEe
To clear a little thing up, Tess’s last name is not Harding. And this part is significantly shorter than normal parts. I just really wanted to separate it from the next part. The next part kind of needs to stay together for its entire affect. Whatever, I’m just babbling about crap again.

c52 Eccentric One ((Kara)), yes you get a gold star. I hope you’re happy with it.


[ edited 5 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 5:13:06 PM ]
posted on 5-Jun-2002 1:33:23 AM by LiLEvEe
Faith Evans: Thank you for the feedback Faith!! I love your site!!

Eccentric One: Okay, so... Jesse's pretty much just there b/c he's a lawyer and I really didn't want to use Philip. I just like to use the characters that are there. Like, for some reason, I always tend to make Brody a doctor and use him as Dr. Davis. Maybe b/c it sounds nice. The mother's insanity... Liz's mentioned her mom's side of the family being a little looney with the vowel names and things... but then... Liz just has a thing against her mother.
quote:
How creepy is it that even Adam is talking about corrections. Her name will be corrected. Like it was wrong the first time around.

c52 And you get another gold star for noticing the little things... yay!!
quote:
Creepy Ed Harding isn't the only family Liz has left. The Parkers are supposed to be distant relatives, aren't they? (from the first part)

I meant that Liz was the only family Ed had left. The Parkers aren't related to Hardings. I think I was making them like a relative by marriage on Hank's side or something like that. Oh, and I meant for it to be Jesse Ramirez, not Adam. Sorry, the actor's name just sounded better, but I changed it accordingly...
posted on 5-Jun-2002 1:36:46 AM by LiLEvEe
mermaidgirl : it's okay. You're here now, and that's what counts... hehe... I don't think Max would be in a mind warp. My Max is all powerful and doesn't get into those kinds of things. Note I said "MY MAX".
IceRose : Thanks for the feedback. And Liz definitely won't be going yet, since they still need to get the paperwork done. And besides, I need her balcony for a few more scenes first. *wink*
posted on 5-Jun-2002 9:42:07 AM by LiLEvEe
BillyHoliday : What responisbilities Liz has as a Harding? I'll come up with some later. Ed is weird and cold isn't he? Mindwarping and Tv Series: I completely agree. Something was just off about that. Tess should not be more powerful than Max. Tess was raised by Nascedo, so that might have had something to do with it, but still to mindwarp is a gigantic power to have. Yeah, a lot of things were off about Roswell. But that's what we have fanfics for.

care bears : Thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback. Sorry if the part was short.

Roswell Junky : Yes. I believe she is about to lose it. And sure, you can have one too. But the star is Kara's so I'll give you a hopping bunny.
c54


Tea B7 : Don't worry. She isn't moving far away. I should have made that more clear. Ed has bought a house on Antarian Avenue, and Roswell, being the alien town that it is, has weird street names. And that street if filled with Mansions. So Ed will be moving to Roswell.

rattlebox :Yes. I don't think Liz and Ed will be getting along too well either. Oh, the sack, yea, I kind of forgot about it. No one else mentioned it... jk... I'll tell ya next part. And your vision of her snapping at Maria is exactly how I wanted it to be. Yay. you get the prize for your help.
c16


Now I'm off! I'll try to get to writing the next part soon!!
c30


[ edited 2 time(s), last at 5-Jun-2002 9:45:01 AM ]
posted on 5-Jun-2002 10:08:12 PM by LiLEvEe
entire chapter posted later

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 5:10:15 PM ]
posted on 6-Jun-2002 12:10:55 AM by LiLEvEe
Guess what!! I had the second part done!! Guess what else!! My computer froze and I had to restart it!! Ain't it grand? Now I have to rewrite the whole thing.... ugh!! So I guess I won't be getting done with the second half by tonight... So until later...

Evelynn
posted on 6-Jun-2002 2:35:25 PM by LiLEvEe
Entire chapter posted later...

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 5:09:50 PM ]
posted on 6-Jun-2002 5:08:51 PM by LiLEvEe
Okay, I’ve decided to renumber the chapters. Hope I don’t confuse too many people. So here it is, completed.



-------------------------------------------------


Chapter Twelve



On the way to the mall, Maria drove in silence, which was a good thing, since I didn’t plan on talking. I just sat there, while she drove on. It was probably about ten or so minutes until I noticed that I was still clutching something in my hands. A paper bag. The paper bag. The one that the creepy guy gave to me. And what’s in the paper sack? I don’t know yet, because I’m still looking at the outside of it, where there’s a small slip of paper stapled to the bag. A receipt. ‘Custom Ordered for Ed Harding’ from Custom Eyes and Eyewear.

Shudder… creepy guy and his eyes. Strange. Open up the sack and pull out a small box. Oh, would you look at that. Contacts. What would I do with contacts? And suddenly, what the creepy guy has said to me starts playing back in my mind.

“The resemblance is so uncanny.”
“But there’s something different.”
“The eyes. It’s the eyes.”
“They’re his eyes, aren’t they?”
“It’s such a pity. Such a waste of perfection.”
“Those damn eyes. It’s such a pity.”
“Perfection. It was in your blood.”
“Blood is blood, I suppose. We’ll just have to make do. You can be fixed.”
“It’s only a temporary adjustment, but it’ll have to make due… for now.”


And I shudder again. It’s all finally coming to me and I’m understanding all that he’s been saying to me all this time. Heh… it’s my eyes. It’s because they are his eyes, father’s eyes, not her eyes. And it always did upset her. I inherited my mother’s straight as a board dark hair and petite figure, but not her eyes. And not her sense of superiority. Only a full-blooded Harding would have that.

I turn the box to the side and look at the color sample. And yup, sure enough, it’s mother’s eye color. It’s no wonder he had to get these contacts custom made. No one has eyes quite like mom’s. They are a unique shade of blue mixed with slivers of silver, almost metallic like. They were such a deep blue when she was sad and they were almost completely silver bright when she was happy. Her eyes reflected her emotions like none I’ve ever seen before. No one’s eyes were quite like mom’s. But then, no one’s attitude was quite like mom’s either.

Nope. Mom was one of a kind. The custom made contacts just proved that fact even more. Yup. There will never ever be anyone like her ever again. Never… She used to always say things like that. That she was special. That I was special too. But I never listened to her, did I? I never listened. That’s probably why I never attended a funeral. They probably told me, I just wasn’t listening. What kind of daughter does that make me? What kind of daughter never listens to her mother? What kind of daughter doesn’t even go to her mother’s funeral? A fucked up one, that’s what.

“Liz?” Maria’s calling me softly, and it’s the first time I’ve noticed that the car has stopped, parked, and we are at the mall.

“Sorry.” I offer her an apologetic smile, unbuckle my seatbelt and get out of the car.

“Are you okay?” She asks me, while locking arms with me while we walk out of the parking lot and into the mall. Maybe I should tell her that I’m not all too fond of people touching me and that she’s invading my personal space. But would that really get Maria to get off of me? Highly doubt it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She’s stopped right outside the mall entrance.

Oh, yeah, I want to talk about it. Let’s spill my guts now and tell her what a horrible and terrible child I am. What stress and anxiety I am going through with everyone jerking my life around this way and that. And how much I just want the hurting to go away. Hurting? Oh, yeah. Hurting. It’s not physical. Oh no. Physical pain is nothing compared to emotional pain. Scrapes and bruises heal naturally. But pain on the inside cuts to the core and can only heal if you let them heal, if you will them to heal, if you force it to heal. And I just don’t have the energy.

“Liz?” Maria’s looking at me, obviously concerned.

But I choose to ignore her and I walk through the doors. “Let’s go shopping.”

We step into the alternate dimension that is knows as the mall, where women spend hours trying on items without purchasing them, and credit cards are used with abandon. As me and Maria set foot into the first of the many stores in which we will venture into within the next few hours.

So… an hour and twelve minutes, ten stores, five shopping bags, and one hundred dollars and ninety-three cents later, she finally lets me have a break as we stop by the food court for a drink.

“See? Isn’t this fun?” She asks in a very perky voice once we’ve got our fruit smoothies and are seated down at a table. If you didn’t know, shopping gets Maria very… bubbly.

“Oh, yea. Loads of fun.” I give her a smile and I wonder if I sound as sarcastic to her as I do to myself.

“Doesn’t shopping help get your mind off of things and make you feel… relaxed?” She’s going on while slurping down her smoothie at the same time.

“Oh, yea. Peachy keen.” Let’s forget that while Maria was busy looking from rack to rack of clothes for both her and me, I was standing there, dead-like and slowly decaying on the inside from all the hurt. Emotional pain sucks ass.

“Oh, look.” She jumps up, grabbing me with her and she pulls us down the escalator, despite the fact that I had even yet to drink my smoothie. I haven’t even put the straw into the top of it yet. And still, my break from shopping is over and we are moving onto yet another store. But at least there are breaks from shopping. There aren’t, however, breaks from life. No matter how badly you wanted them. But aren’t those what vacations are for? When was my last vacation? Camping trip, when I was ten. Six years ago. Would you look at that?

“See? I knew we missed a store.” She exclaims before she enters. And I freeze outside the store, looking at the provocative window displays, and then up at the nice, cursive-y store name at the top. Victoria’s Secret. And there is no way I am going in there.

“Come on, Liz.” Maria comes back out and, grabs my hand.

“No, Maria. I don’t feel comfortable…”

But Maria enters the store again, pulling me in behind her. “What’s not to feel comfortable about? You are past wearing training bra, right?”

And I nod my head slowly. Those were some of the most embarrassing times of my life.

“Okay, then. Ooo… look at these.” And I stand there helplessly as she browses through the many items on the table. Glance around the room and smile sympathetic smiles at all the many, many guys, forced to follow their significant others around while they rummage through tables filled with thongs, bras, panties, and all other kinds of silky and lacy things to choose from. And I feel as uncomfortable as the guys do. I thought girls that were… undeveloped in the upper area like I was, wasn’t allowed in stores like these.

“Liz, what size bra do you wear?” Maria’s looked up from the table and is looking at me.

And I am suddenly very afraid. “What for?”

“I want to see if you fit this.” She holds up a lacy pink bra.

And I’m thinking me? Pink lacy bra? Nuh uh. “What for?”

“Oh, come on, Liz. It’s something for you to make you feel sexy in.” She winks and raises her eyebrows suggestively.

Oh, yes. I’m having an emotional breakdown here and, of course, the first thing I want is to sate my overpowering need to feel sexy.

“What size are you?” She starts again, rummaging through the stack of bras.

Oh, the hell. “I don’t know.”

She straightens up again. “What do you mean you don’t know? How can you not know?”

Maybe because I never went bra shopping before. I always just wore whatever my mom bought for me. Never really checked and never really cared. Yup. That was what mom was for. Notice how I said ‘was’? “I just don’t, okay?”

“Okay, hold on.” And you know what she does? She circles around me, staring at my boobs. And me, I cross my arms over my chest, feeling oh-so violated. But she continues to circle around me like a vulture of some sort. And then, she goes through the back of my shirt.

“Maria!”

“Just hold still for a second.” But I pull away from her. Forcing her to lose her grip on the back of my bra, and causing it to snap back, coming in contact with my skin.

“Oww!!” I run my hand over my back. “That hurt.”

“I told you to hold still.” And she goes to check the size on my bra again but with no trouble from me this time. I wasn’t going to go through that again.

“See? It wasn’t that bad, was it?” And she goes through the stack on the table, finds the right size and hands it to me. “I want you to go try this on.”

And she calls forth a salesperson, who shows me to a dressing room, or at least, shows me where to wait for a dressing room. “You can try that on in here once this person is through.” And she smiles politely before walking away. But not before turning back around. “Oh, and if you need anything else, remember, my name’s Laurie.” She obviously wants her sales commission. Do they get sales commission here?

And I stand there a bit before I rub my back again. The pain’s gone away. Like I said, physical pain heals naturally. Emotional pain does not. And I suddenly realize, that while I was focusing on all that physical pain, I completely forgot about all that emotional pain. Hey… I may be on to something.

“Liz.” Comes a surprised, shocked, gasp. I look up and I’m quite shocked and surprised as well.

“Max. What are you doing here?” What is he doing here? I highly doubt any guy would willingly spend time in this store. Unless he gets his kicks from staring and going through all the tables and tables of under garments. I mean, some guys do like the silkiness of girls’... ugh… bad thought, bad thought.

“I… um…” he clears his throat before he starts smirking. “Nice. I can… totally… see you in that.” I can see his eyes, hell his whole head, go up and down my body. And it makes me shiver, turning beet red before I hide the pink lacy thing behind my back and smile, embarrassed.

“You know, if you need assistance putting it on or anything, I’d be more than happy to help.” And for added affect, he winks at me. That’s right, winks.

And me? I roll my eyes at him. “No thank you, Max. I think I can put it on all by myself.”

“But the question is,” he steps closer to me, “do you want to put it on all by yourself?” And the smirk. Oh God, the smirk. It draws me in. There’s something about him that just… attracts me to him. It’s his eyes. They are so… captivating. So much that I barely even notice that I actually am leaning in closer to him. Either that, or he’s leaning in closer to me, so close that I actually think we are going to maybe kiss again. I mean, it would be our fourth kiss and our third kiss, kiss, as in, on the lips, spit-swapping kiss. Yes, I am counting them. That is, until an annoying voice interrupts us.

“Max.”

Hold the phone. I pull away and Max is kind of frozen, not turning around to the voice who called him. And me? I’m pretty sure I know to whom the voice belongs. But I try to look past Max, just to confirm my presumption, that is, if Max would get out of my way. Each time I try to look over him, he moves into my view.

I put my hand on his chest to stop him and look towards the now open dressing room door. And fuck a duck. I was right. Leaning against the doorframe was Pam Troy, standing oddly comfortable in a pink lacy bra for the world to see.

“Why, look. If it isn’t little Lizzie.” She saunters out of the dressing room, and I think the eyes of every guy in the room suddenly land on her boobs. “I didn’t know they had kid sizes here.” She points at the bra in my hand.

I just shrug. “You’d be surprised, Pam, at all the things that you didn’t know.”

But she chooses to ignore my comment while she turns to Max. “Maxie, baby, what do you think about this one?” And to my horror, she sticks her chest out, pointing her melons right at Max.

And me? I chuckle, because Max covers his eyes with his hand. “I-I think… you should go… back to the dressing room.” He points blindly to the changing room and accidentally hits her upside the head. I don’t think he noticed though. That, or he didn’t care.

Pam pouts and saunters back, not before throwing a glare in my direction though. While me, I’m glaring at Max.

Cross my arms over my chest. “So… Pam, huh?”

“Liz, it’s not-”

“Oh, Max.” That annoying voice interrupts us again. And both of our heads snap turning towards her. I don’t know what Max was thinking, but me, I wanted to slap her. And the girl has the nerve to continue. “Max, could you please undo me?”

And I… I just… I get mad. But do I blow up at Pam? No. Hell no. I blow up at Max. “Yes, Max. Why don’t you go on over there and undo her. And why don’t you go ahead and do her too. And while you’re at it, you can measure her bra size with your hands. I know she’ll highly appreciate it.” And I turn on my heel and leave. I can’t take this. I really just… I can’t handle this. My emotions are just too… out of whack and I… I just… can’t cry, not now… I…

I have to find Maria. I go to the table where she said she’d wait for me, and she’s not there. Well, great. Look around the store and I can’t see her blonde haired head anywhere. Great. Just fucking great. It’s like Batman without the Batmobile to get away in before all the evil super-villains come and get him. And sure enough, glance back and Max is coming out of the dressing area, looking for me with a shirtless Pam not far behind.

And me? I hightail it out of there to go hunt around the vast, vast mall area in search of Maria, all by my lonesome, in the large crowds of people, that is, until someone grabs my arm and pulls me aside.

My first thought was that it was Maria, but when I looked back, it wasn’t Maria. This arm was way too muscular to be Maria.

“Liz. I didn’t know you were going to be here.” And he’s smiling at me, dimples and all.

But me, I just… I can’t deal with him right now. But you just… you can’t be mean to him. “Doug. Hi.”

“You should have told me you were going to the mall. I would have gone with you.” He smiles with dimples again before he grabs my hand and pulls me into a more clear area, out of people’s way. “Who are you here with?”

Who was I here with again? Who was it that I was looking for? Who was it that left me? “Maria.”

“Oh.” Again, he smiles. “I saw her just a while ago. She was with Michael.”

Wait… what? With Michael? “What?”

“Yeah. I just saw her.” He’s nodding his head and still smile. And the smiles are pissing me off. Especially since I’m not in the mood for smiles, nor smirks for that matter. “Really, I did.”

“Great. Just fucking great.” I was ditched for a guy. Why is it that I was ditched for a guy? And Michael, of all guys. Fucking hippie-haired freak. My life… my life just sucks. It sucks.

And Doug looks a bit uneasy, what with me saying the F-word and all. “You know, if you need a ride home or anything…”

And suddenly, I see Max coming towards us, a few feet away. “Quick, Doug.” I pull him towards me so that I’m hiding behind him, blocked from Max’s view.

“What? What is it, Liz?” I’m pretty sure Doug doesn’t know what’s going on.

“Nothing…” I shake my head. “It was just-”

“So, now I’m nothing?” And the person I was just avoiding is now standing right next to me. Sigh. Freaking emotions, running rampant, unruly and erratic, like a flame. Fuck.

And it’s still all three of us, standing there, together. It’s quite awkward. I can only guess what’s going on in either of their heads. You can feel some kind of tension rolling off of both of them. And I seem to be the referee. And which of the two do I want to call out?

Was it really that hard of a choice? “What do you want, Max?”

“To talk.” He says to me and then he turns his head to Doug. “Leave.”

Is he serious? How is it that Max seems to think he holds so much power, ordering people around?

But then, it shocks and surprises me when Doug turns to look at me. “I’ll call you.” Before he turns to walk away.

And I turn to look at Max, but he isn’t looking at me. Nope. He’s looking at Doug, or rather, glaring at the back of Doug’s head, scoffing. “Call you? Like hell he will.” Before he turns back to me.

And me? I turn and walk away. I’m ditching Max. Just like how he ditched me… for Pam. Just like how everyone ditched me. Mom. Dad. Maria. Even Bunny, my poor, poor pet turtle. Everyone.

And after a few steps, he’s there, walking beside me. And I just… I can’t take this. “I’m not listening to whatever you have to say, Max.”

And I don’t turn to look at him, but I bet he’s shaking his head. “I’m not saying anything. I’m just walking. You’re looking for Maria, right?”

Is that who I’m looking for again? Really? I could have sworn I was just roaming around the freaking mall, having pity-parties and crying my eyes out. While Max, or course, is running around with the slut-princess herself. Do I really want to be around him right now? No. “I don’t need your help finding her. Why don’t you just go back to fucking Pam?”

And it’s a while before I hear him speak again, though he’s still following me. “That was a low blow, Liz. But I’m not going to say anything because I probably deserved that.”

Nod my head, violently. “Damn straight. I’m surprised Poodle Pam isn’t following you around like the good little bitch that she is.”

And I hear a sigh coming from Max, but I don’t turn to look at him. I keep my head looking straight as my feet walk quickly away. “She probably deserves to hear that too. Have it said to her face even, but the security guard caught her on the way out the store, asking her to remove the store merchandise before she left the premises.”

And I come to a halt. And Max stops too, once noticing that I was no longer walking. And I look him dead in the eye, lifting an eyebrow. “What? And she didn’t take the bra off right then and there?”

And he shrugs, very nonchalantly. “I wouldn’t know. My attention was focused elsewhere.”

And I want to come up with a good come-back. I do. I really do. But I’m just so tired and drained. I can’t take this. And my voice suddenly looses the angry edge that it had before. It just takes up too much energy to be angry. But I still manage to clench my teeth, narrow my eyes, and cross my arms over my chest, having the pretense of being overly enraged. “Why are you following me around? Unlike Pam, I’m not an easy fuck.”

And he’s wiggling his eyebrows. “And don’t I know it.”

And he’s not taking me seriously. The bastard is not taking me seriously. I’m having an emotional crisis and he’s not taking me seriously. So what do I do? I turn on my heel and leave.

But with short legs like mine, it’s not long before he catches up to me. “I’m here because I care.”

And I have to stop again, look him in the face, and laugh. “Hah… that’s a classic.” And I have to start walking again. I have to be active. Because if I stand still, I’ll break down. And I can’t, not here, not now, and not in front of him.

“Look, you’re angry and something tells me it has to do with more than just seeing me with Pam.” His voice has lost its laugh to it. I guess he’s taking me seriously now. The bastard. I wonder if he’s all serious around Pam, or even worse, if he’s all playful.

So I stop again, looking at him. “Why, on earth, were you with Pam, anyway?”

He sighs and it looks like he’s struggling with something. “I… I can’t tell you.” And I, once again, bolt. But, again, it doesn’t take him long to catch back up with me. “Just know that it’s not where I want to be.”

Well, he didn’t look all too miserable. “Oh, really? You could have fooled me.”

And he… he actually has the nerve to get angry at me. “Well, I didn’t think you’d notice, seeing as how you’ve been devoting so much time on Shallow.”

And you know what? I’m glad he’s mad. I’m glad. Why? I have no fucking idea. So I stop again and correct him. “Shellow. And don’t even start bringing him into this.”

“Why not?” His amber eyes turn fiery as they narrow in on me. “You brought up Pam.”

“You know what? Fine. Screw this. I’ve been through enough shit, okay? I don’t need this!” And I get to storm off, yet again. Because I don’t have to put up with this shit. From my mom, my dad, even from Bunny, it was fine because they were family. But not from him. Hell no. I’m not letting him get to me. I can’t let him get to me. I’m already broken.

But he catches up with me again. “Liz…” His voice is soft and concerned-like. And it gets me even more upset. Why? I don’t know.

“Fuck off, Evans!” And I start walking faster. And as predicted, he adjusts his pace to match mine.

God, why won’t he just go away and leave me to my lonesome self? And I have no more energy left. Nothing left of me. They took it all. So my voice is left frail and puny, just like me. “Stop following me.”

And oddly enough, his voice somewhat reflects mine… in sadness. “I’m not following you.”

And I make a sharp turn while he keeps walking straight. A few seconds later, he’s beside me again. And I smile a sad pathetic smile. “Not following me, huh?”

“You know, you walk pretty fast for a short person.” He’s trying to joke. He’s trying to make me laugh. Because he apparently thinks I need to laugh. But doesn’t he get that I’m not in a joking mood? Or maybe that’s what I need, to forget about all this shit and just move on. No. What would Max know? Max doesn’t know jack shit. What would he know what’s good for me while he’s off fucking Pam.

And my voice gains its edge again. “Why don’t you stop following me then?”

But his voice remains calm and even. God, he makes me sick. “Because you’re angry. And it’s better that you let the anger out on me than bottle it away like I know you will.”

And I stop sharply and look at him. “Oh yeah? And how the hell do you know that, Max?”

And the bastard smiles. “Because I know you.”

And I make sure to say each word slowly so that it will get through his conceited thick-skinned head. “Like hell you do. You don’t know shit about me.”

“I would if you’d tell me.” And how he manages to keep his voice cool when I am blowing up at him is beyond me. And it seems to aggravate me more.

“Well, it’s not for you to know.”

And that did it. It broke down his calmness. “God, with how you’re acting. It’s no wonder Maria up and left.”

Silence.

That’s what he got from me, because that did it for me too. It broke down my anger. Because there was no more energy for anger. There was no more energy for anything. I can’t be angry with him. Because he was right. Maria left me. Dad left me. Mom left me. Even Bunny left me. Why? Because I am a horrible, horrible person. So much that everyone leaves me. They always leave me.

“Liz?” He’s not mad anymore either. Maybe because he can see that I’m broken. Because all my life I’ve been living and surviving in denial. It’s the only way I’ve made it through the last few weeks, by building up my walls of denial, keeping out all of the bad things and not listening to what I don’t want to hear. But now there’s too much. There’s just too much. And the walls are all crashing down on me. And I can’t take it.

“Liz?”

My mom is gone. My dad is rotting away in jail. My life had been swished this way and that and it’s about to take yet another turn. Everything I have is gone.

“Liz? Talk to me.”

“Fuck off, Evans…” And my voice is as weak and frail as I am.

And arms come around me. But I can’t feel them. No. I can’t feel anymore. I’m detached from my body, and sinking deep within my mind, where everything is hunky-dory.

“God, Liz. I-I didn’t mean it. I-I’m sorry. It’s okay, Liz. I’m sorry. It’s okay.” And I can still hear him, but only vaguely. I’m sinking quick. God, I’m so tired. Why am I so tired? I’m just so exhausted. And I can’t hold it back anymore. I can’t even stand anymore. But I don’t fall, no. Because arms are holding me up. But they will leave too, just like how everyone leaves me. And I’ll fall…

And I can’t hold it back anymore. The tears fall. “Why do they always do this to me?”

“Do what to you?” I can hear him. But I can’t feel him. I can’t feel anymore. And I can’t see him. Because my eyes are blurred over with tears, and I can’t make anything out.

And it doesn’t matter anymore. Because everyone leaves me. Everyone hurts me. “They hurt me.”

And I lose my grip on the world. The grounding is out from under me. And few seconds later, I come to the surface, and I’m sitting on a bench, leaning against the wall, in an alley in the mall, with Max hovering closely over me. “Who hurts you?”

Who, Max? Who hurts me? Who doesn’t hurt me, Max? No one. Who hurts me? “Everyone.” More tears fall.

And I see his hand come up and wipe them away, but I can’t feel it. I can’t feel. “Tell me. And I’ll take care of it, Liz.”

No, Max. It’s not that simple. Nothing’s ever simple. Bone-cutting emotional pain just doesn’t go away with the snap of a finger. “There’s nothing you can do. You can’t stop the pain.”

But I don’t think he thinks the way I do. No, not Max. Max thinks he’s God. Max thinks he can do anything. Part the Red Sea even. “I can stop anything.”

And I really… I wished he could. But he can’t. “Not this.” And more tears fall. And I can’t even sit up on my own anymore. I’m too tired. I see my body go limp, but I never hit the bench or the floor. I hit his shoulder when he pulls me into his arms. And I wish I could feel, but I can’t. Because inside, I’m busy, building back up my wall, brick by brick.

“Just tell me, Liz. Tell me what’s wrong. Who is hurting you? Is-Is it Sean? Is it Doug?”

“No.” My voice is so weak. Can he tell that my voice is weak? That I’m weak? I think he can.

“Liz…”

He’s so warm with his arms around me. It makes me aware of exactly how cold I feel with his warmth radiating off of him and absorbing through my skin. And it’s as though I’m… pulling energy from him. But it’s not enough. Max can’t help me. I can’t let him. Because, in the end, he’ll just leave me. Just like everyone else. And I can’t rely on him. Because I’ll get attached, and he’ll leave me. And it will hurt, more than it hurts right now. And right now… “It hurts.”

“What?” He’s holding me away from him. But I don’t want him to hold me away from him. I want to be in his arms. Pull warmth from him. “Where?”

Everywhere, Max. Everywhere. But it’s not physical pain. No. It’s not on the outside. “You can’t see it. It’s on the inside.”

“What happened?” He pulls me back into his arms and I start absorbing his warmth in. Can I tell him? Should I? Can I rely on Max? Will he leave me? Should I… could I risk it? The first step to recovery is acceptance, right? Recognizing your problem, like in AA meetings. Hi, I’m Liz and I’m a Denial Game-a-holic?

“Liz?”

I look up and I… his eyes. They pull me in. They are so… they’re sad. He’s sad for me. Worried and concerned. His emotions are splayed out through his eyes. And he’s worried… for me. Mom’s eyes were never worried for me. Not once did they show that she was sad for me. But Max’s… maybe… maybe. If I let him help me, will he end up leaving me? Can I risk it? Maybe…

“T-Today… I had… a meeting… with Mrs. Deluca… and-God, even before today… my mom… my dad… and…”

“Max, there you are. Well, what do we have here?” I don’t turn to her. I can’t turn to her. I refuse to look at her, to let her see my tears. So I stare straight, not at Max, past Max. I can’t even look at Max right now. He’s probably staring at Pam, anyway. At her boobs. “Is little Lizzie having a nervous breakdown? Did Sean call the engagement off? Is that it? Or did you finally look in the mirror and see that wearing safety goggles-”

“Pam-” Max interrupts her.

But, I-I can’t take this. I can’t take this. Not now. Not now. Not from her. So I jump up and run. Tears in my eyes and I can’t see, but I just run. It didn’t matter that people were staring at me. It didn’t matter that I was knocking over others who didn’t see me on my way to the closest exit of the mall. Nothing mattered anymore. I just… needed to get out of here. I need to be alone.

And the quiet darkness of the outside in the parking lot is my bliss, my heaven. The silence is my safe haven, where I can let myself go back to building, one layer at a time. It’s rhythmic. Cement, brick, cement, brick.

“Liz?”

Fucking great. No. Not now. But he still comes.

“Hey.” His voice is smooth and friendly, like the gentleman that he is. “Maria left, she couldn’t find you. I told her I’d give you a ride home. Are you… are you okay, Liz?”

No, Doug. I’m not. So leave me the hell alone. “I’m fine.”

“Come on. I’ll take you home.” And I see him drape his arm over my shoulder, pulling me to him. But there’s no warmth. Why isn’t there any warmth?

“Liz!”

“Fuck.” Just what I need, another run in between the two of them. And pom-pom Pam is probably following shortly behind too. And I want Doug to just keep walking and not turn around. But Doug doesn’t. Doug turns around, with his arm still around me.

“Look, Max. She’s had a rough day. And I’m going to take her home. So why don’t you just… leave her alone?”

And I want to scoff, because that’s all I’ve been asking of Max to do, and if I couldn’t get him to leave, what makes Doug think he can?

“Why don’t you just fuck off, Shallow.” And I don’t want to look up at Max, because I know he’s mad.

But Doug, being the good little boy that he is, doesn’t blow up at Max, no. He talks calmly, although his grip on my shoulders tightens. “Look, Liz has obviously been through a lot-”

“What the hell would you know?” Max explodes again before I can sense his eyes on me, his voice softer. “Come on, Liz. I’ll take you home.”

And Doug pushes me to stand behind him. “What if she doesn’t want to go home with you? After all, it’s kind of chilly out, I don’t think that rusty jeep of yours is all too suitable for her to ride in.”

And I feel the tension coming off in waves, both fighting for the alpha male title. Doug barking at Max, and Max biting back.

“And your car won’t be suitable either, would it, if its tires suddenly blew up?”

And me? I just… I can’t take any more of this. And I just walk away. There is just too much testosterone for me too handle. They’ll probably still be biting at one another for another good half an hour before either of them notice that I’m missing. And I’ll be long gone by then.

I wrap my arms around myself. It’s oddly chilly out tonight. Not that I care. I’m already numb, what’s a drop in the temperature going to do to me? Kill me? Hah… I wish.

Clench my fists.

I mean, there’s only so much you can take in life before you lose it. Father used to say just that to mother. ‘Anna, there’s only so much a man can take of this before he loses it’. And dad lost it, didn’t he? He sure did. Now look where he is. Violence never solves anything.

Clench fists.

And mom. It wasn’t her fault. It was mine. What mom wouldn’t want to get away when she has a daughter who wouldn’t listen to her, ever? I mean, moms and daughters are supposed to have this connection, right? This bond that links them together? I didn’t link with mom like I was supposed to. I ignored her. She may not have been the best mom, but she was still my mom. But now she’s gone.

Unclench and clench fists.

And Bunny, my first pet. It was never Bunny’s fault. It was mine. I confused him. He was just a good little turtle, never bit anyone or did anything wrong. But I confused him. I told him he was a bunny when he was a turtle. He was a turtle. And I went on the camping trip, and I left him in his tub outside in the back yard, and it rained, and when I came back, Bunny was upside down in the tub filled with water… dead. And it was my fault. All because I went on a vacation, my last vacation.

Clench fists.

And my nails are digging deep into my palms, and it feels good. No, I’m not crazy. There’s a fine line between sane and insane and I may be flirting with it, but I haven’t jumped that bridge yet. Physical pain heals naturally. But emotional pain lingers in the mind. And if the mind is busy focusing on the physical pain, it forgets all about the emotional pain. And the hurting eases, because I can take the physical pain. It’s the emotional pain that I can’t handle.

So I walk the rest of the way to the Crashdown, to my room, clenching and tightening my fists, and straight into the bathroom, turning on the sink water and running my hands under it. The water running down the drain red. Red from my nails and red from my skin. But do I care? No. I just smile. The cuts begin to sting, but I don’t care. Physical pain heals naturally. Like the time I was five, when my dad first taught me how to ride a bike. I begged and begged for him to let me ride on my own, but he told me I wasn’t ready. And he was right. Once he let me go, not a few seconds later, I fell and scraped my elbow and knee. But he picked me up and we put band-aids on it. It fully healed a few weeks later without even leaving a scar. And we tried again. But dad’s not here to hold the bike for me, is he? He’s not here to tell me that I’m not ready yet.

And suddenly, it wasn’t enough. Turn off the water and I walk over to my bed, kneeling down and pulling out my box from under it. I open it up and look in it. It’s all that I own. All that holds any significance to me. A bracelet that mom let me have out of her jewelry box. A musical birthday card. A photograph, among other things. But I’m only focused on one thing. The present dad gave me on our camping trip. An army knife.

It flipped open easily and I stared at the blade. It shined from the gleam of the street light through the window. And I can’t take my eyes away from the blade, running my finger over it. This is the key to my ecstasy, the entrance to paradise. And I was never one to deny myself.

Run the blade softly over my left wrist, without pressure. No, not enough to do any damage. Just to get a feel of it, watching as my mind begins to hum. I smile, running the blade over the same area again, still not enough to pierce the skin. But after a few strokes, it begins to tingle, my mind begins to blur, and I smile. Repeating, over and over, until I saw red. Red on the blade, on my skin, drip, drip, on the floor, and I smile.

“Liz?”

Shit. Well, it’s a damn good thing I’m on the other side of the bed, huh?

“Liz?” He’s coming closer.

“Y-Yes, Alex?” My voice is weak. I’m weak. Maybe, he’ll see how tired I am and decide to go away. Please?

“What are you doing on the ground?” He’s coming closer still and I manage to hide my box back under my bed.

“N-Nothing… just… cramps.”

“Oh.” And he buys it, and fidgets uncomfortably. Most guys do. “Um… Mrs. Deluca dropped this off for you. She said you rushed off so fast she forgot to give it to you.” And Alex throws it on the bed.

“Thanks, Alex. Could you… leave? I’d like to be alone.” And I pray that he leaves. I pray that he just goes away.

But he hesitates and takes a step closer.

“Ah…” grab my stomach, “cramps.”

“Oh, okay,” and he backs off. Good boy. “I’ll just… leave. Good night, Liz. Love you.”

And I manage a small smile. “Good night, Alex.”

He shuts the door and I fall to the floor, the knife to my side. What did I just do? Oh God. I look at the knife, with blood on the edge of the blade and my wrist with a line of blood surfacing and I feel sick. I pick up the knife and throw it across the room, hearing it land with a clang on the floor.

Fuck. What the hell did I do? What was I thinking? Breathe. Breathe. Almost pulling my hair out and the tears come, running down my face, saltiness entering my mouth. I need to calm down. I just… I wasn’t thinking, was all. Physical pain. It will go away. Physical pain heals. It’ll heal and I can… I can forget it ever happened. This never happened. Never happened.

And I sit up, still on my knees. Everything is fine. It’s all fine. I’m not crazy. It will heal. I’m fine. And no one will know that anything ever happened. Look on the bed and pick up the envelope Alex left from Mrs. Deluca.

And my smile fades, with what last bit of sanity and energy I had left, slipping away. And I go numb and crumple to the ground. It was a letter for me, all right. It was addressed to ‘Lizzie Bear’, the one and only. But it wasn’t from Mrs. Deluca. Far from. Top left corner, Hank Philips. New Mexico State Penitentiary…


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[ edited 5 time(s), last at 7-Jun-2002 10:09:34 AM ]
posted on 6-Jun-2002 5:16:12 PM by LiLEvEe
I'd say that was a pretty long chapter... but that day was filled with a lot of things. And it's finally over. Tell me what you think.

Oh, and shameless bump for me!!

Evelynn







[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 11:34:53 PM ]
posted on 6-Jun-2002 6:59:02 PM by LiLEvEe
So... I'm already thinking of a title for the Max POV, even though I'mm seemingly far from through with this one. But hey, good to be prepared, right?? Any suggestions??

Evelynn







[ edited 1 time(s), last at 6-Jun-2002 11:36:33 PM ]
posted on 6-Jun-2002 11:26:10 PM by LiLEvEe


posted on 7-Jun-2002 12:46:49 AM by LiLEvEe
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Sorry about that, but I went back today and edited all of the chapters, combining most of them. So it is 33 chapters, combined together into twelve chapters.But all of the feedback after the post, are those that follow that chapter. Thanks for reading!!


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Evelynn







posted on 7-Jun-2002 2:22:25 PM by LiLEvEe
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Um... I put rated R, for language and violence. And I think that stuff counts as violence and things. R is the highest rating, right?


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Evelynn







posted on 7-Jun-2002 10:00:13 PM by LiLEvEe
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So... this works as a shameless bump for me... ((pathetic aren't I??))... and I thought it would be nice to inform you that I really don't plan on writing the next chapter to this for a while. I think I'm going to refocus on Accept The Challenge for a while, since I'm almost done with that story, and I want to kind of live the last chapter down a bit. I don't know why. The last chapter was the huge hump that I wanted to cross over, and now that I have, there are many ways I can take this story. I'll have to take a step back and look at the story to see which way I want to take it and which way is best. But I will warn you, I've already set my mind to it, and there is another twist to the story, it's kind of weird and creepy, but it's a twist, nonetheless. Hmm... what else did I want to talk about? Oh, yea. Thanks Kitcat for nominating me for 'fic that had you laughing the hardest', never thought I'd get nominated for that... but anywho... what else was there?? Oh yea... a title for the Max POV. Any suggestions? I want to keep along the lines of something similar to 'The Denial Game', but only, you have to relate it to Max's personality... schizophrenia?? Schizophren-opoly?? Haha... that's crazy... whatever. Ignore me. Gotta go.. ADIOS!!! Oh, and see my little doggie?? Ain't he cute??

Evelynn







posted on 8-Jun-2002 1:52:53 AM by LiLEvEe
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Oh, did I mention it yet?? That was my 'floating chapter'. Well, not all of it. But the part where Liz breaks down in the mall alley and part of the hallway scene. I had to change it from being in school, like I had it originally, to in the mall, but it's all good. That was it. And guess what!! I've just written another floating chapter. So I have another point that I have to reach for. Another hump for me to try to pass. Yay!

Oh, and Eraser Room, what did you mean by this. Sorry, your big words confuse me... *wink* :
quote:
I'm so glad you put it all in one part, you were right, the full impact and her confused state of mind was much better conveyed when we didn't have any more time to process everything that she did.


Evelynn







posted on 10-Jun-2002 12:06:54 PM by LiLEvEe
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Okay... what I really really really just need to know is exactly what everyone is confused about... I know there are some definites, but there may be more that I need to explain in the story that I'm not aware of...

the RANK thing
the CLAIM thing
what exactly it is the Tess did to Sean
why Max was with Pam
why Maria ditched Liz
the whole alien hierarchy
what the deal is with Ed Harding

those are the only ones I can thing of off the top of my head. Anything else??


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Evelynn






posted on 17-Jun-2002 1:59:47 AM by LiLEvEe
Actually, I'm typing up the next chapter to this right now. Expect it tomorrow or in a couple hours if I still don't feel the need for sleep. Thank you everyone for your bumps!!

Evelynn






posted on 17-Jun-2002 12:08:18 PM by LiLEvEe
To fill you in, I have three pages typed up. I am aiming for 10-15 pages per chapter, so it looks like I may be getting done later tonight.

Evelynn






posted on 17-Jun-2002 9:07:10 PM by LiLEvEe
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Chapter Thirteen



Ever have those days where you just don’t want to wake up? Well, this morning was one of them. But no matter how much I willed the sun not to come up, the rays of bright light defied me and streamed through the window, making everything go from fuzzy to clear while my eyes slowly opened and adjusted to the light.

And I rolled over in my bed because I still don’t want to get up just yet. But it is a school day and little Lizzie can’t be late, now can she? Kick back my covers and sit up on the side of the bed. Yawn, scratch my neck, and am about to get up when I notice something, something that I should have noticed earlier. I’m wearing jeans. Since when did I start wearing jeans to bed? Hmm… chalk it up, ignore it, and move on.

I stand up, stretching and heading towards the bathroom, that is, until I step on something, it slides, I slip, and I fall… right flat on my back. Ouch. There’s a loud thud that vibrates in my ears, followed by footsteps and the squeaking opening of the door.

“Liz, are you okay?”

Sigh. This is just a great start to the day, isn’t it? “I’m fine, Alex.” I just enjoy staring at the ceiling this early in the morning. They’re just so nifty and neat, ceilings are.

“Oh… um… it’s the thing, right. I… um… I think mom has some stuff for it.” And the footsteps leave and I just lay there. Why? I have no freaking idea. I hear Alex’s footsteps approach again from the hallway. They get louder until he’s in my room again. And now he’s hovering above me.

“Here.” He hands me something and I take it, looking it over. “That should help. At least, I think so… but I… um… I wouldn’t really know… so I’ll just… you know… um… let you… um… yeah.” And the door shuts and the footsteps die down. And I’m just lying there wondering why, in hell, did Alex hand me a bottle of Midol. Hmm… chalk it up, ignore it, and move on.

And moving on forces me to stand up, and so I do, getting up off the ground. And stretch a little more. My muscles are stiff. But then, what did I expect? This day already started out weird. I’m probably going to walk into the bathroom, look in the mirror and find that I’ve grown a second head. But once I start heading toward the bathroom, I notice, on the ground, what it was that I slipped on. The back of a white envelope, looks unopened. Hmm… chalk it up, ignore it, and move on.

Step over it, get into the bathroom and I pretty much go through my morning ritual of brushing my teeth and washing my face with my eyes closed. I spit out the toothpaste and open my eyes, looking down into the sink, and there are little red rings in the sink. They’re an odd shade of red, they are. Shrug shoulders. Alex probably cut himself shaving again. It wouldn’t be the first time and it probably won’t be the last. Chalk it up, ignore it, and move on.

I get dressed, grabbing the first t-shirt and jeans I can find and sling my bag over my shoulder. Stop by the window and glance outside. It’s nice and sunny. I smile. It’s a good day today. Sigh happily. Perfect for a walk. I grab my watch and snap it onto my hand and… and it stings. But I bite my lip, hold back the tears, ignore it and move on.

Smile on my face and head for the kitchen. Alex smiles a good morning to me as he sits with his bowl of fruit loops at the table. “All ready to go, Liz?”

I just nod my head, heading into the kitchen and opening up the cabinet. “Yeah, Alex. I kind of felt like walking to school today. It’s nice out.” I finally find what I’m looking for in the first aid box. Grab a few of them, throw them in my bag before walking out the kitchen.

“Are you sure, Liz?” He looks up from his bowl of his colorful sugarcoated breakfast. “You’ve been kind of tired lately. But that’s just probably because of the… um… thing. Is it okay for you to walk? Because I remember when I was little, I had a… um… cramp while I was swimming and I kind of… almost drowned. And you know… if you like… walk and have a… cramp… then you might… drown.”

And I smile, because you just can’t help but smile at Alex. He’s just so… Alex-y. There’s no other way to describe it. It’s that mixture of goofiness and yet sincerity and oh-so much more. Nod my head, “I’ll be fine, Alex. You worry too much.”

I give him a quick kiss on the cheek and head for the door, grabbing my sweater on the way and tugging it on as I open the door and freeze. “Max.”

“Liz… um… hi… ugh… hey… um… wha-what are you doing here?” He’s fidgeting. Why is he fidgeting?

“I live here, Max.” Why is this day suddenly getting weirder and weirder?

“Oh… yeah… hehe… I knew that. I… um… I needed to… um…”

Sigh. You ever get the feeling you’re not wanted? “He’s in the kitchen.” I point towards the kitchen while finishing tugging on my sweater and squeezing past Max.

That is, until he grabs my arm. “Where are you going?”

“To school,” I say slowly, eyeing his hand on my arm, and then him, and then his hand again, until he gets the hint and lets go.

“Oh, um…” he nervously puts his hands in his pockets. “I could give you a ride.” And I still can’t understand why he’s fidgeting. What? Did he just suddenly decide to be Shy Max now? Just like how he must have just decided that he actually did prefer blondes?

Shake my thoughts and sigh. “No, Max. I think I’d rather walk.”

“It’s hot outside, Liz.”

No shit, Sherlock. This is freaking New Mexico. “I know, Max.”

“It’s just… um…” again with the freaking fidgeting, “it’s hot, and… um…you… sweater.” He points to the outer layer of clothing I have on.

And I just shrug. “I like sweaters. They’re nice.” And I walk away, because I don’t expect him to understand. No, actually, I’m lying. I did expect him to understand. If anyone would have understood, it would have been him. He has his layers and I have my sweaters. But he doesn’t understand. No one understands. And it’s okay. I accept it. No one understands me. I am misunderstood. And it’s okay. Like Emerson said, to be great is to be misunderstood. And I am great. Yup. A great big waste of space.

Sigh. Tears start forming in my eyes and I have to bite my lip to stop them from coming out. And it’s hot. Why did I want to walk again? Oh, yeah. To get out of the house and away from everyone else. People are evil. Malls are evil. Or maybe it’s just me that’s evil. I mean, if a daughter hasn’t seen or heard from her father in a long time, she should be jumping for joy to have news of him. But what do I do? Nothing. Why? Because I’m evil. Evil with a capital E. Evil Elizabeth. Evil Elizabeth eats earthworms. Haha… did I also mention that I have also gone crazy?

God, it is freaking hot. Why did I walk again? Oh yes. So I can talk to myself without interference. If I had ridden with Alex, it wouldn’t have actually been a peaceful or quiet ride. Don’t get me wrong. Alex is a great guy. He’s just a tad bit on the bubbly side. Not that it’s bad or anything, just… bubbly.

Sigh. Reach into my bag and look for those nifty little strips I threw in there earlier. And what really gets to me is that I don’t find them. Where the hell are they? I packed them in my bag earlier. So they should be in here, but they aren’t. They’ve seemed to have disappeared, like everything else in my life.

And I… I just can’t take it. Everything has been close to normal so far. Everything has gone on like nothing happened but the gods just aren’t… they aren’t working with me here. I’m trying so hard to just let go and forget but they just won’t help. So what do I do? I do what I do best. I pretended. I pretended like it didn’t happened and that my life is the perfect little life that everyone expects me to have. But it’s not. I try to be the perfect little person that everyone thinks I am, but I’m not. And I can’t… I can’t take it anymore.

Drop to my knees and throw my bag down, emptying it out and rummaging through the pile of stuff for the fucking little band-aids. But I can’t find them, and tears are forming again. And as luck would have it, I can hear him, his car coming to a stop in the street beside me, his door opening, and his footsteps approaching me. I should have known he was going to show up. He always fucking shows up right in the middle of my fucking emotional crises.

“Liz, are you okay?”

No, I’m not fucking okay. I’m down on the ground like a lunatic searching frantically for something to cover up the stupid marks that my stupid self made on myself so that no one will accidentally see it and start thinking that little Lizzie has done crazy. Deep breath. “I’m fine, Doug.”

“Oh, okay… um… you need a ride?” He’s still standing and points towards his car while I am on the ground trying to stuff all of my things back into my bag.

“No thank you, Doug.” I stand up, wiping off my jeans. “I think I’d rather walk.”

“Well unless you run, you really won’t make it to school on time.” He’s looking at his nice gold watch. Here’s a boy who has never been put through any kind of shit before. “You’ve only got about five minutes until the bell.”

And I smile as sweetly as possible. “Then I’ll run.”

“I could run with you.” He’s smiling shyly and I just can’t see why he can’t get it into his football playing, pig-skinned head that I don’t want him around because I can’t pretend to be the little Lizzie that everyone wants me to be, not while I’m in the middle of a nervous breakdown.

So bad that if he doesn’t leave in the next few seconds, I am going to go berserk. Smile sweetly. “No, Doug…”

“Go away.”

And we both turn toward the voice. How Max came to standing beside us without us noticing, is really beyond me. But I am NOT in the mood.

Max looks at me. “Come on, Liz. I’ll give you a ride to school.” And he turns from us. Is he expecting me to just follow him like some kind of puppy? Because if he is, he’s in for a rude awakening.

But Doug’s voice kind of drowns me out. “I don’t think she really wants to be seen driving up in your rusty old jeep. It won’t do good for her reputation.”

“Does this look like a rusty old jeep to you?” Max points towards a nice blue convertible and leans on the side of his car. God freaking boys and their God damn toys. And there they are, both standing beside their cars, looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to choose.

And I… I turn and continue my walk down the street. Because they are both egotistical Neanderthals, who aren’t really interested in me, not the real me. The real delusional, depressive, self-mutilating me would have them running as far away as possible. No, if what ever it is that attracts them to me is any more than just some kind of rival battle over power between the two males, it’s not to the real me, it’s to Lizzie. Stupid, naïve, perfect little Lizzie. Because she’s the perfect little trophy to have by your side since she’ll just stand there and look all innocent and sweet, unlike Pam, whose reputation is anything but pure.

But they’ll soon realize that boring little Lizzie isn’t enough. She wasn’t enough for mom. She wasn’t enough for dad. She wasn’t even enough for Bunny. They all died.

Was last night really all that bad? What’s a little pain to letting me forget for a few blissful moments? Nothing. But then it’s not something little Lizzie would do, now is it? No siree.

So when I walked into school half an hour later, the entire world was shocked. Little Lizzie late for school? Perish the thought.

“Sorry I’m late, Mrs. Lorenz.” My pathetic apology once Alex opens the door for me to enter.

She’s seated behind her desk and Alex is giving me questioning looks. “That’s all right, Liz. Do you have a pass?”

No, lady. I don’t. I shake my head no and am about to voice my answer, but someone butts in, answering for me like he always seems to do.

“Sorry, Mrs. Lorenz. Liz was helping me change a flat tire.”

“Oh, all right, Max. I hope everything is okay now?”

And I look at Max in disgust. How could he stand there and lie like that? Well, apparently, he has no problem with it.

“Everything is fine now, Mrs. Lorenz. It’s just a miracle that Liz was there to help me.” He looks at me and winks. And I am gagging. Can she not tell that he’s lying? How the hell is little me going to be help him change a flat tire? There is no way that she is going to buy that.

“That’s good. As long as everything’s okay. Why don’t the two of you have a seat and we’ll continue with our lesson. We’re reading chapter twenty-two.” And she bought it.

I walk to my usual table to sit with Maria and Alex and the both of them are looking at me strangely. They both gawk until Alex finally speaks up.

“Wow, Liz. I didn’t know you knew how to change a flat tire.” And Maria is nodding her head along with Alex.

Don’t tell me the whole world has gone dense. This just… isn’t happening. Lay my head down on the table and just squeeze my eyes shut. But I can still hear Alex whispering.

“She must be tired from changing that flat tire.”

Ahh…. Freaking freak freak freak. What is up with these people? I can’t… I… grrr…. Stand up and walk straight back to Max’s table, where he’s quietly sitting and reading his book. “I need to talk to you for a second, Max.”

He slowly puts his book down and looks up at me innocently. But I yank on his arm and pull him out of the chair and towards the door.

“Sorry, Mrs. Lorenz,” she’s probably been looking at me strangely since my abrupt standing a few seconds earlier, “I just need to talk to Max for a little while.” I don’t wait for her reply. I just pull Max out the door and around the corner, next to a few lockers, a water fountain, and the boy’s bathroom. And I explode at him.

“What the heck is going on?”

“What do you mean, Liz?” Still with the innocent boy looks. And I just want to… grrr…

“I didn’t help you change your tire.” Shake my head from side to side vigorously just to get my point across.

“No, you didn’t. You walked away from me while I was offering to give you a ride to school. That wasn’t very nice, Liz.” But he says it all nice, even, and calmly.

And I laugh. “I don’t give a flying fuck if it wasn’t nice, Max. You lying to the teacher in there wasn’t all too nice either, now was it?”

And he shrugs. “Well, it kept you out of trouble, didn’t it?”

Roll my eyes and scoff. Just typical. Max to the rescue to come and save the day. I don’t partake to the damsel in distress thing all too well. “I don’t need your help, Max.”

“Okay, fine. I wasn’t helping you. I was using you to help me. I needed an excuse for being late and thought that you would do for a nice little alibi. It made the story seem more realistic. I’m sorry if I upset you in any way.” He’s still talking calmly and evenly. Doesn’t raise his voice. Doesn’t get angry, nope.

And it just pisses me off even more.

“Liz, is something wrong?”

Damn straight. You know what? Screw little Lizzie. I’m just… so… “Grr… why are you being so calm while I’m yelling at you?”

And he shrugs. Just shrugs. “What do you want me to do?”

I want you to jump off a freaking building, Max. “I’m yelling at you. Defend yourself. Get angry.”

“I can’t.” He starts narrowing his eyes at me, but he doesn’t hold it for long and once his lips start smiling, it reaches up to his eyes and he loses it again. “See? I can’t.”

And you know what? Screw it, just… moving on. “Okay, what were you doing walking in the same time I was? You have a car. I walked. You should have made it here long before I did.” See? This is where logic comes in.

“You are a really nosy one, aren’t you?” He’s smiling. Freaking smiling.

Cross arms over chest, frown, and glare. “Max.” I am not in the joking mood.

I think he gets it because he throws his hands up in mock-surrender. “Okay. I followed you.”

“What?”

And he shrugs again. “I left my car parked there and I followed you.”

And of all the questions I should be asking him, the one thing I think of right now is his car. “What happened to the jeep?”

“It’s collecting dust. Blue convertible Chevy Chevelle. A lot nicer than a rusty old army jeep. Don’t you agree? I can take you for a ride in it.” He smirks and I suddenly feel oddly reassured by it somehow.

But he just had his jeep yesterday. When he drove Pom-Pom Pam in it. “You suddenly got a car, just like that?” Snap my fingers.

“What? You don’t like it?” He pouts his lip and no matter how much I don’t want to think it, the thought involuntarily enters my mind. He’s so freaking adorable.

Bite my lip, smile, and sigh. I am SO pathetic. “The car is nice.”

“Let’s go. I’ll take you cruising in her.”

“What?” Is he suggesting that we ditch school? What? Can I? Sigh. “No, Max. Umm…” Damn. There was something we were talking about. What was I going to ask him? Oh! “Why were you following me for?”

And he shrugs. “I didn’t want you to get kidnapped or anything.”

Kidnapped? Here? “In Roswell? In broad daylight?”

“Hey, you never know.” And he shrugs again.

And there’s a brief silence. We hear footsteps coming from around the corner. And I sigh and wait, because it was bound to happen. It always happens. They always show up together. If one is there with me, the other one just has to pop his head up sooner or later. And imagine my surprise when it wasn’t Doug who turned the corner, it was Sean.

“Sean, hi.” I do not know why, but am actually glad to see him.

“Hi, Liz…” he smiles and waves at me and then glances at Max. “Max.” Sean nods his head at Max and begins fidgeting.

And Max has a cool smile on his face. “Hi, Sean. How’ve you been?”

“Good, good.” Sean nods his head and fidgets some more.

“You’ve been good? That’s great. Seen Tess lately?” And Max smiles again.

Whoa… are Tess and Sean an item? That is a weird combination. Never thought I’d see the day.

“No. Nope. I’ve been good.” Sean nods his head again.

“That’s good. Excuse me. My throat is kind of… dry.” Max leans over and takes a drink from the water fountain.

I glance back over at Sean, who is covering his ears with his hands and running down the hallway.

Max wipes off his mouth, straightening up and snickering.

“What was that about?” Eyeing him warily. I get the feeling that Max had something to do with it.

“Nothing.” He says it innocently, but you can just imagine the little horns popping up from the top of his head.

Normally, I would just leave it at that. But things have just been too weird lately. “No. I want to know.”

“Liz,” he sighs, shaking his head, “ever heard the phrase, ignorance is bliss?”

Asshole. “I’m just curious.”

“Curiosity killed the cat.” He shows me this hundred-watt smile and winks at me.

Roll my eyes. “Yeah, and stalkers should rot in jail.”

I can hear him gasp and hold a hand to his chest, feigning hurt. “Are you implying that I am a stalker?”

Yes, I am. “Let’s see, shall we? Tracking and following closely behind me without my knowledge. Stalking me.”

He rolls his eyes and shakes his head at me. “Watching out for you.”

And suddenly, all the joking was gone. “I don’t need you to.”

He’s quiet for a while. I think I came out more curtly than I wanted. “Fine,” he says softly, “I’m sorry, Liz. Don’t be angry.”

There’s another stretch of silence. We just stand there. And although I don’t want it to, it just comes out of my mouth.

“So… where’s Pam?”

I’d expect him to get all offensive. But he doesn’t. He smiles. “How would I know?”

And I can’t stop the comment from coming out. “I figured you’d keep her close by, you know. Quick lap dances every now and then.”

Again the awkward silence. I don’t look at him, but I know he’s staring at me. “What can I do to convince you that I’m not interested in Pam?”

“What would it matter to me who you are interested in?” Again, it just came out. It’s strange. When I talk to him, I don’t think it over what I say to him. I don’t censor it. It all just comes out.

“It doesn’t matter to you?” He’s talking softly again.

And I shake my head. “No.”

And he smiles. It’s not a full-blown smile though. It’s one of those tight-lipped smiles. They’re not as nice. “Then why do you keep bringing it up?”

Sigh. “Because I can.”

“But it doesn’t matter to you?” Why would it matter? What would it affect me? So he’s with Pam, like I care.

Shake my head again. “No.”

“Okay, just making sure.” He smiles that not as nice smile again.

And the silence ensues. I stand their awkwardly, arms crossed over my chest, staring at my feet, until I hear him talk again.

“Is there anything you want to talk about, Liz?” I lift my head to look at him and his eyes are staring right at me. And he has a soft smile on his face. You know, like he’s asking for something, but he isn’t pushing it.

“I don’t know,” I say slowly and start tugging at my sweater, pulling the sleeves lower.

“Because you can tell me anything. You know that, right?” He takes a step closer and I try my best to resist from taking a step back, but I can’t help it.

“Anything?” Smile big and lift my eyebrows suggestively, trying to keep the mood light.

But I get the feeling that what he is referring to is anything but light. “Anything.”

“Okay.” Nod my head with a smile. “There is something I’ve been wanting to tell you.”

“Yeah?” He’s smiling softly, leans in closer, and I take another step back, tugging again at my sleeves.

“You are an egotistical, arrogant, stuck-up pig.” And I manage to say it all with a straight face.

While he just stares at me, unfazed. “Is that all?”

“All that I can think of off the top of my head? Yes.” And with the way he’s still looking at me, I take another step back, only to back into a locker.

Max finally looks away and I see him sigh. “Okay. Anything else you’d like to discuss? Anything else you wanted to talk about? I’m here to listen, Liz.”

Smile big and shake my head. “That’s it.”

“You sure?” Again, he starts with that look, staring at me.

Nod my head. “Yes.”

I guess Max kind of gives up after that. He kind of half sighs, half groans, running his hand through his hair. It falls back over his forehead again in the cutest little curl. And I want to reach up and brush it to the side a little. But I restrain myself because he looks at me again. “Then could you remind me why you brought me out here?”

And my mind goes blank. I seemed to have forgotten why, myself. I brought him out here because I was frustrated, and I needed to vent, and…“To tell you to stop lying for me.”

“I was just helping you out, Liz.” He sounds tired. Not like before. Before he sounded calmer. It’s like he was putting up with me before. And it seems like he’s giving up on me now. And it’s okay for him to give up on me, because I’m not his problem to begin with. He shouldn’t have to deal with me. No one should have to deal with me. I shouldn’t have to deal with me.

“I don’t want you to help me.” I flinch at my own voice. Seems the anger has returned.

“So you want to get in trouble?”

“Yes…” wait… that’s not right, “No…”

“Because if you want to be rebellious, I can help you with that too, Liz. We can go right now and throw a stink bomb in the guy’s locker room.”

Is he being serious? I don’t think so. I think he’s making fun of me. “No.”

“We can go stop by the art room, grab some paint and paint someone’s car.”

“Stop it, Max.” It isn’t funny. I’m already in a bad mood and he’s poking more fun.

“We can handcuff Doug and Pam together on a picnic table in the quad.”

And there’s a small pause as I consider this. Hmm… could be interesting. We could paint Pam’s face… and cameras… hehe… sigh… “We can’t, Max.” I shake my head, but there’s a smile on my face now.

And he’s smiling again too. The nice kind of smile. “Sure we can. Or, you know, we can just get some eraser room time, make it loud and get caught.” His eyebrows go up and down.

“Some what?” Eraser room time. Time for a room of erasers? What?

“You’ve never been to the eraser room?”

“What’s that?” A room of erasers?

“Oh God, I have to take you there. You can’t graduate from West Roswell High without having visited the infamous eraser room at least once.” He smiles and winks at me and then looks at his watch. I look at mine too. The bell is going to ring in a little while. “What do you have next period?”

“Umm… calculus.” The fact that I had to think for the answer, shows how mixed up my mind is right now.

“Do you really want to go?” He has this look in his eye. The mischievous glint. The kind that you want to give in to… but can’t.

“I can’t miss class.”

“So, no eraser room time?” He frowns a bit. And I feel a bit disappointed at myself too.

“No, I suppose not. Maybe you can show me some other time, Max.”

The smile returns to his face again. “Can we at least tie Pam and Doug to a picnic bench? All in good fun, of course.”

And I laugh. “No, Max. I… um… I… no. I should go.” I smile shyly at him and turn to walk away.

“Liz?”

I spin back around. “Hmm?”

“Anytime you want to talk to me, I’m here.” And the fact that he’s repeated that over and over and over again finally gets to me.

I look up at Max, eyeing him while I cross my arms over my chest, tugging on my sleeves. Panic starting to set in. “Do you know something, Max?”

“Just… if you need to talk… about anything, Liz.” He’s giving me that look again.

Oh, God. He knows. He knows. He probably saw. “It’s not as bad as it looks, Max.”

He leans in closer to me. “It was pretty bad, Liz. If you need to talk…”

“No, how do you know?” When did he see it? Did he tell anyone else?

“Is it bad that I know?” He’s still looking down at me with that look.

And I look back up at him, nodding my head. “Yes. How?”

“Alex told me… about the letter… from your dad. And the whole thing in the mall yesterday was...”

Wait… the mall, the letter. Max knows, but what does he know? That’s it. Smile. He doesn’t know more than that. He doesn’t know the rest. And it’s okay. I’m still sane. No one knows. I tune back in in time to hear Max continuing on.

“… it’s not healthy for you to hold all this in. So… if you need to talk…”

“Thanks, Max. But I’m fine. Great. Better than ever. I’ll see you around.” Big smile, pat him on the back, spin on the heel and walk away. He doesn’t know. No one knows. And I plan on keeping it that way.


-------------------------------------------------

posted on 17-Jun-2002 11:50:46 PM by LiLEvEe
-----------------------------------


So... um... since I just wrote a chapter and I've got the juices flowing or whatever it is you want to call it, I think I'm going to start up the next chapter already.

I don't like having Liz in a rut. Give me... maybe... three more parts and things will start looking brighter, until they start going down again.

So... thank you for all of the lovely feedback. You like the longer parts?? Thank you. I think they are nice too. They certainly move the story along, don't they??

So... off to work on the next part. But I'll tell you this, it may be evil of me, but even if I'm done with the next part, if I don't get a good number of feedback that I'm happy with, I'm holding it hostage until I can... hhahaaha... evil... hehe...

Yeah right. You know I'll post it as soon as I get done typing it up. Thank you for reading!!


-----------------------------------

Evelynn






posted on 18-Jun-2002 8:14:18 AM by LiLEvEe
quote:
mermaidgirl originally wrote:
Don't get me wrong they love a chance to hurt you. When they find your button they continue to push it. You really have to be able to keep your calm.


You got it!! Whoo-hoo!! Happy dance!! That's what Liz's comments about Pam are. Although it's probably not a topic that she likes, it's a topic that gets Max all frustrated over. And she keeps pushing it because of that. And the entire time she was upset because Max was so calm. She wanted him to be angry. It's like it's not fair that he should be okay and calm when she isn't. And if he can lose his grip on the world, if what she says to him can drive him a little over the edge, it makes her seem a little saner... it's those evil grins that people have... kind of... am I making any sense? Hmm... I love it when people notice the little things!!

Thank you everyone for your feedback!!

Evelynn







[ edited 1 time(s), last at 18-Jun-2002 8:16:15 AM ]
posted on 18-Jun-2002 7:47:32 PM by LiLEvEe
So... I've got twelve pages so far of the next part. I figure when I get done, I'll have maybe fifteen pages or more. Possibly by tonight. It all depends on if I get anymore feedback. I've gotten 18 I think. I'll settle for two more.


Evelynn






posted on 19-Jun-2002 2:00:36 PM by LiLEvEe
I know. I was supposed to get done with the story yesterday but I kind of took a nap and didn't wake up. So I'm finishing it up today. I've got 15 pages so far. Yes, so far. Ugghh... it takes like half an hour just to read throught to edit. But if ya'll like the lengthy chapters, it's what I'll give you.

Evelynn






posted on 19-Jun-2002 6:52:08 PM by LiLEvEe
-------------------------------------------------


Chapter Fourteen



Believe it or not, the day actually got even more interesting. Life isn’t just about books and studying with little Lizzie. No siree. From Alex’s questioning interrogation of why I was late to school to Max’s disappearance, or rather non-appearance, to English class third period, I had plenty to think about to get my mind off of things.

Yup, like right now, I’m standing in front of the vending machine, getting my nifty little water bottle, and going over the options of where to sit in my head. Doesn’t this kind of remind you of my first day here? I thought so too.

So… I can go sit with Maria and Michael, but then I’m still mad at them, both of them. Hey, when I hold a grudge, I hold a grudge. But I can choose to go sit with them and start yelling their head off for leaving me in the mall to have to deal with layer-boy and poodle-person all by myself, but that’s not something that little Lizzie would do, now is it? No. Little Lizzie doesn’t blow up at people. Little Lizzie sits quietly and plays nice with the other children.

I could go sit with Max, but hey, Max wasn’t in class, so what are the chances of him being at lunch? He probably left to go spend some eraser room time with his new flavor of the week, leaving Pam pouting in class. Oh, and by the way, Alex informed me of what the infamous eraser room was. It’s where people make-out. That’s right. And Alex was also informed me that I am, in no way, allowed to go inside, or anywhere near the place.

I kind of ignored him though. It was just Alex pulling out his protective brother card again. I sometimes wonder how badly he is going to take it when he finds out that I’m moving yet again. Sigh. All I know is I am definitely not going to be the one to break it to him. Maybe he’ll figure it out once I’m gone and all of my things are missing from the room. Maybe…

Sigh. Enter the quad and look around. Take a glance at Max’s tree. It’s empty. Glance over at my normal spot and Michael is sitting with his sketchbook, Maria with her bag of cheese puffs, and Isabel with nail polish in her hand. Hold the phone. Well, fuck a duck. Isabel is sitting with them now. It seems I’ve been replaced. Well, isn’t that great? Peachy. Just peachy. But you know what? I don’t care. Screw them. Who needs friends who ditch you anyway? And who is to say they were my friends to begin with? I know Michael definitely wouldn’t.

Whatever. I don’t care. With my little nifty bottle in hand, walk over to the center of the quad and sit down at the empty tree. Why? Because it was the only tree that was unoccupied. That’s why. But I think I could hear a collective gasp as I sat down on the ground. So what if I sat at Max’s tree? It’s not the first time. But it’s probably the first time anyone sat here without Max also being present. But I don’t care. This is the ‘tree of knowledge’ and I am in need of some thinking time. So I lean back against the tree, close my eyes and gather my thoughts.

My mind is just so bogged down with problems that I just can’t think straight. So how do you get rid of problems? You solve them. But there are too many problems to solve all at once. That’s why you start out with the little ones and work your way up. See? Problem solved. Logic, logic, logic.

All right. State the problem: I’m angry with Maria. Solution: stop talking to her. Problem solved. Simple enough. Another problem. The letter. No. Let’s skip that one. Little problems first. Alex. There’s nothing wrong with Alex. Moving on. Sean. What is up with Sean? There’s probably some kind of power feud going on between Max and Sean, just like with Doug. There’s nothing for me to concern myself with there. Which brings up Doug. Doug is safe. Doug is dependable. Doug is always freaking there. But do I like Doug the way I like Max? Wait… do I like Max?

“Liz?”

Open my eyes and Max is right in front of me, sitting and staring at me, while fidgeting.

“I… um… I didn’t want to disturb you, but I figured if you wanted to talk, then we should… talk.” He smiles but it’s one of those unsure kind of smiles that are only kind of like a grin.

Sigh. How is it that he’s been able to pop up without me even noticing lately? “How long have you been sitting here, Max?”

He shrugs. “Ten or so minutes.”

Ten or so minutes? I’ve been talking to myself for that long?

“Liz?” He interrupts my thoughts again. “Did you want to talk?”

Shake my head. “No.”

“Then why are you sitting at my tree?” He isn’t annoyed or anything. But I don’t know what he is. It’s hard to read the look he has on his face. It’s just that look. You know the look. It’s the look. The weird look.

And me, not knowing what better to say, change the subject. “Why weren’t you in English?”

“I… was… um… busy.” Stuttering, fidgeting, and nervously running his hand through his hair. He’s hiding something.

And I don’t have to put up with it. Because I have enough problems to deal with. I don’t need him to add to it. Right? “Right. I’ll leave now.” Grab my bag and go to stand up.

“Liz…” I feel him grab my wrist and I freeze, just staring down at it. Oh God. He’s gripping my wrist and it stings. Even through my sweater sleeve, it stings. Sit back down so that he’ll let go of my wrist and cross my arms over my chest.

“Are you okay?” His voice is still soft and he’s speaking gently. He’s still trying to put up with me. Again, I’m not his problem to put up with.

So I get a tad bit more curtly than I wanted to be. “I’m fine, Max.”

“No, really, Liz.” He pulls my hands into his and leans forward, giving me that look again. “Are you okay?”

Pull hands back, scooting away, and eyeing him curiously. I think he knows more than he lets on to know. And that’s not good. That’s never good. “What are you talking about?”

“Liz… look…” again with the stuttering. “I know-”

“Hi, Isabel.” I smile sweetly at her as she comes to standing beside us. What else am I going to do? Believe it or not, I’m actually glad to see her. I got the feeling that what ever this talk is between me and Max was just going to go out of hand.

And she smiles back. “Hello, Liz. Um… Max. I just…” and she drops to her knees in front of him and her arms go around his neck. Well, it looks like Isabel is his new toy for the week or month or however long she keeps his fancy. I mean, who wouldn’t get tired of Pam. “Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you so much for last night. I just… God…” And she sniffs. Is she crying? Yes, she is. Was he really that good? “Thank you.” She’s kissing him now, well, his cheek, but it will progress soon enough. And so, yes, I am turning my head away. Don’t you just hate feeling like a third wheel? It’s sickening. Not as sickening as with Pam, but still sickening, nonetheless.

I’m just gathering my bag up again now while I hear him still talking to her. “You’re welcome, Isabel. Anytime…” Oh really now, lover boy? I wonder how long he could last. I mean, if every girl in the whole town wants to jump his bones, the guy has really got to be…

And Max is staring at me, Isabel gone. He’s going to try to explain now. “That was just-”

“Yeah.” I don’t want to hear it. “I gotta go.” Stand up and this time make sure to stay out of his reach.

“Liz.” I look into his eyes and he has this… pleading look. God, his eyes. They’re just so incredible… so expressive… so emotional… so complex. Sorry, Max. But my life is already complicated as it is. I don’t have time for you. I wonder if he looks at Isabel this way too.

“I’ll see you later, Max.” Turn and walk away. But I can hear him calling after me.

“But I need to talk to you.”

“Later, Max.” I don’t turn back to look at him. I just keep walking straight, walking away.


--------------


I don’t think it helped much that I had the next period with Max. And I was actually considering ditching, just so I wouldn’t have to talk to him. Max knows. And even though he doesn’t know THE thing, he knows something. And that much was already more than I wanted him to know about me. But the class went by relatively okay. I just kept my gaze to the front of the room, ignoring his stares, even though I could feel them on me.

But class went on. Coach Schierling called roll and then handed out packets for yet another lab. Whoopee! It wasn’t a big deal though, just a small lab on equilibrium. We probably won’t even have to do a write up for it. But, a lab is a lab and I, being the good little student that I am, must do it, while Michael and Tess sit, each with their sketchbook and magazine, respectively.

Gather my things from the cabinets and while I’m there, I stop. Do I want to risk it? Do I really want to do it? Yes, I do. So I give in and glance quickly over at Max’s corner of the room. He’s setting up for the lab too, half of his table set aside, ready and waiting for me.

Sigh. But do I go over there? No. I stay right where I am, working on my little one-third of the table that is mine to work on. Rush through the lab, don’t even care or check if I did it right. Coach Schierling doesn’t check or care anyway. And I finish and put up my supplies in time with ten minutes to spare. So I sit there.

“So… Tess…”

She looks up from her magazine. “Yeah, Liz?”

And it looks like I can help get one problem solved. “So… what’s with you and Sean?”

“What about me and Sean?” She’s looking at me curiously. Does she not get what I am implying?

“Are ya’ll going out or something?” Lift eyebrows and await answer.

“Oh God, no!” she practically screams. “Where would you get something like that?”

“It’s just… Max has mentioned your name with his a few times and I was just… curious.” Curiosity killed the cat, Lizzie. That’s all right, I’m already dead.

“Why? Has Sean done anything to you?” She’s leaning forward and whispering to me.

Sean? Done something to me? “No. No. He hasn’t been mean or… suggestive like he was before. He’s just… weird.” His butterfly transformation thingy was just strange.

“Weird how?” She’s still leaning forward, and still whispering.

Well, Sean’s always been weird, but it’s strange now because…“He’s nice now. Clean cut kind of.”

And Tess smiles, sitting back. “I do a good job, don’t I?”

“Do what?” What? Did she like take the boy shopping or something? Brainwash him by tying him to a chair and forcing him watch hours and hours of Leave It To Beaver marathons?

“Liz.” The voice interrupts us, coming from behind. But I don’t turn around. Nope. That would be confronting the problem. And I’m too much of a coward to do that. Wait… since when was Max my problem? God knows I’m not his.

But if I don’t acknowledge him, then he’ll just go away. Because I doubt he’ll start talking about things in front of Michael and Tess, and I sure as hell am not going to be leaving this table.

I look at Tess, but she’s looking past me, as is Michael. And they both grab their things and stand up, leaving me at the table, alone until he comes and takes the seat next to me. God freaking damn it.

Sigh. “Yes, Max?”

“I need to talk to you.” He’s whispering to me in that voice again. And I bet if I look up, he’s also giving me that look again too.

And I refuse to have to put up with it. At least not today. “Later, Max.”

But he starts anyway. “Liz, look. There’s these…”

And I pretty much ignore him as I chant my mantra. Ring bell, ring. Ring bell, ring. And… the… bell… RINGS.

Smile. “Later, Max.” Sling my bag over my shoulder and head for the door. Check the top of my head just in case and find, safety goggles. Groan. At least I remembered to check this time. Go to the back and put them up in the cabinet and I hear the door squeaking… shut.

And I’m thinking ‘shit’. Turn around, and the room is empty, except for Max, who is standing by the door, his hand on the doorknob.

Walk over there with a sigh. This boy is so close to getting slapped. Way stepping the line of duty here with all of his reciprocated stubbornness to my stubbornness. Does that make any sense? “I need to get to class, Max.”

“But I need to talk to you.” Again with the soft pleading tone. I won’t look at him though. Nope. Once you look into his eyes, you’re a goner. You can’t say ‘no’ to him. I told you, I was a sucker for puppy-dog faces, no matter how fake.

Sigh and reach for the door. “I can’t be late for class.”

“I’ll vouch for you.”

Stop. Turn and look at him. Well, at his neck, or his chest, his very muscular chest. Anything but his eyes. “How?”

He walks over to Coach Schierling’s desk and pulls out this pad of paper, taking out a pen and scribbling on it. I know that this is my chance. I should leave, right now. I should, but I’m curious. Curiosity killed the cat, if you hadn’t known that already. He walks back over, handing me a small slip of paper. “Here.”

I look at it. A nicely forged pass excusing me for my tardiness from ‘The Desk of Schierling’. Well, I’d have to admit, he does a good job. Look up at him… his shoulder anyway. “This could get you in trouble.”

His shoulder shrugs. “It could.”

“It could get me in trouble too.” I find myself folding it up and sticking it in my pocket anyway. It can come in handy later.

“I won’t let that happen. I’ll take sole blame.” He says it as though it were just that simple.

“It takes two, Max.” And it suddenly feels as though we’re discussing something deeper with a cryptic message. And it sucks, because I’m the one that’s starting it.

There’s silence and my head is screaming at me to head out the door, but something keeps me in place. I’m waiting, because what he says makes the world of a difference. Why? I have no freaking idea.

“I’m here, Liz.”

And I, actually, don’t know what to say, because it’s awkward. I always make things awkward. What does he mean, he’s here? What do you say to that? What do you say when things are awkward? You try to joke about it. “You like being in control, don’t you?” I smile.

But he’s not smiling. He’s serious. “As opposed to not being in control? Yes.”

“And what if I don’t want you controlling me.” I’m not smiling either. I think I’m serious too. Really.

“I’m not controlling you. You think freely.”

Stare at the door. I should be heading out of it soon. Very soon.

“Everything you do is your own choice.” A pause and his voice gets softer. “But sometimes you can’t see clearly and you make a not so good decision. And you need to talk about it, and see what can be done to make it better… before it gets worse.”

And I’m at the door, turning the knob, walking away from this, because I get the feeling he’s leading to something… something that I don’t want to talk about. Freaking. Twist, turn, push, turn, kick. Freaking. “Why won’t the door open?”

He shrugs. “It’s locked.”

Wait... Locked? “Are you telling me we’re stuck in here?”

Again, he shrugs. “I can unlock it.”

“Unlock it then.” Step aside and let him do his thing.

But he just stands there, arms crossed. “Not until we talk.”

And I’m panicking, fidgeting even. Why? Because I’m trapped. And I don’t want to be. Not now. Not here. And not with him. “I have to get to class, Max. We’ll talk later.”

“It is later.” He pulls a stool down, sitting on it, and pulls another one down, motioning for me to sit on it.

And I stand there, arms crossed, staring at the ground. “Please, can’t it wait? Please?” I know my voice is weak. I know I’m pleading and sound frail. But what else am I going to do? I’m trapped.

And I’m waiting for him to open the door, because that’s what all other guys do. When they see you helpless and pathetic like this, they feel bad and they let you have your way. All guys. Max is a guy. At least I think he is. So Max shouldn’t be an exception. Or at least you’d think he shouldn’t be. “No, it can’t wait. It’ll only going to get worse.”

Bite my lip. Sigh. Deep breath. But the way he’s talking to me, the sad look in his eyes, and I give in. I always do. Puppy-dog eyes. Freaking bastard. “What did you want to talk with me about, Max?”

I don’t sit down though. Not when the stool is so close to him. If I sat there, we’d be sitting knee to knee. Physical contact isn’t at the top of my list at the moment. So I just stand where I am. But I look at him. And he’s smiling at me. “What?”

He laughs. “I was so focused on getting you to talk to me. And now that you will, I don’t know where to start.”

And his pressuring me to talk to him earlier this morning and earlier in the quad comes back to me. “This is like a set-up. You planned on locking me in here.”

And he’s still smiling. Apparently he’s pleased at himself with his plan. Cocky assed bastard. “Yeah. Only if you didn’t talk to me earlier though. And I figured you wouldn’t.”

Nod my head. He’s right, I wouldn’t. But he has me trapped and locked in a room. “And since this is Schierling’s conference period, what better place. Right?”

He shrugs. “Hey, it was either this or the eraser room. And I didn’t think we’d get too much talking done in there.” He does that eyebrow thing and smirks at me and I just… don’t want to be here right now.

I try the door again, but still, no luck. How the hell do you open this? Jiggle the knob, turn, push, kick. And there’s breathing on my neck, muscular chest rubbing up to my shoulder, and fingers pulling my hand away from the doorknob.

Jerk my hand from his and back away. “What do you want, Max?” Do I look weak and helpless? Because I sound weak and helpless. And I feel weak and helpless.

“Other than the obvious?” He’s whispering and walking towards me.

And I’m cornered. I’m being closed in on. I’m suffocating. And the only way out is to dig my way. Even if I have to hit him with a shovel in the process. “You mean Isabel?” Not exactly my choice topic, but hey, it gets him to stop, right? It gets him to back down, and it gives me room to breathe.

“There’s nothing going on between me and Isabel.”

And I smile because he’s getting defensive. Hey, better him than me suffocating.

And I remember what happened in the quad. Their little huggy feely moment didn’t look like nothing to me. And her thanking him for last night? Scoff. “Could have fooled me. So… was she good? Did you have fun? Was she all your dreams come true? Better than Pam?”

“Stop it.” His tone is wavering. You know the tone. The weird one that goes with that weird look. The one he has when he’s putting up with me and trying to get through to me. It’s wavering with his added frustration.

And it’s good, because that tone was awkward. And when he doesn’t have that tone, I don’t feel guilty when I get bitter. “Why? You’re the one that slept with her. You shouldn’t feel ashamed about it now. You might hurt Isabel’s feelings.”

His voice raises and I try to not feel cagey, but it’s hard not to. Max is scary when he’s angry. “What would it matter to you if I slept with her or not? What? Are you jealous?”

Me? Jealous? Scoff. Hardly. Freaking bastard. Why would I be jealous of Isabel? What does she have that I don’t? Blonde hair? I’d rather have a brain than be one of those blondies. But I guess Max doesn’t agree. “Unlock the door and let me out.”

Pause. Silence. And his voice gets that tone again. The concerned one. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? But nothing happened between Isabel and I. Her dad had some trouble yesterday. Michael called me over and I went to help.”

“That’s what the whole hugging thing in the quad was about?” Lift my eyebrows. Does he get it that I don’t believe him?

Apparently not. “Yes. She was just showing her gratitude towards me for helping her father.”

Oh really? “And how much gratitude did she show you last night?”

Pause. Silence. And then there’s this loud groaning sound. It came from Max. It scared me. “Ugghh… stop it, Liz! I don’t get you. You’re scared to be around people so I back off just to find you going around with Doug. Yesterday you were bawling your eyes out and today it’s like nothing happened. You say you don’t care and yet you’re getting jealous?”

“You’re one to talk.” And I am angry too. Grr…

“What?” He looks at me dumbfoundedly. Yes, dumbfoundedly. As if he wasn’t aware of all this crap he’s been doing. As if he didn’t know. And I… blow up.

“The whole you and Doug macho man competitiveness thing you’ve got going on. What is it with you two? Doug says your jeep is old and rusty and you go out and get yourself a nice and shiny car the next day? You-”

“We’re talking about you and me here, not Doug.” He interrupts me. And it’s funny, because he’s the one that brought Doug into this, if I’m not mistaken. And I’m not. So excuse me if I’m hostile.

“There’s a ‘you-and-me’?” Mock gasp. “Since when was there ever a ‘you-and-me’?”

There’s a slight pause and then his voice raises even more. “Well, I wouldn’t know now, would I? Since you keep pushing me away.”

And I have to laugh. “I push you away? Are you kidding me? Who was the one that kissed who out in the hallway and then turn around and shrugged, saying that it was just a stupid kiss?”

“I never said it was stupid or that it was just a kiss. I said that it WAS a kiss. At least I acknowledged it. And still, I put out more effort. Of the three kisses, I kissed you twice. You only kissed me once. And that one was just to get back at Pam.”

And I am quiet as I stand there and stare at him. He’s lost it. Completely lost it.

“What? Nothing to say?” His eyes are still narrowing down on mine with a smirk and I just shake my head.

My voice comes out calmly and evenly at first. Note, at first. Can you guess where my voice starts raising? “Oh, no. Nothing. I just… I only remember there being two kisses. You’re probably-” starts raising here “-mistaking me with Pam or Isabel or one of your other tramps that you run around with.”

“No. There were three kisses.” And it’s sad because he’s so damn sure of himself. So freaking cocky. If he can’t remember this, how is he supposed to remember birthdays or anniversaries? I pity the person who ends up with him. Poor Isabel.

“Two.” Count them. “One against the lockers and the other one in the booth at the Crashdown. No more than that. Not three. Two.”

There’s a little silence as he stares at me and then stands straight again. “Oh… yea.” What kind of lame reply is that? No ‘I’m sorry, Liz’, or ‘you were right, Liz, I was just being a complete ass’. Just ‘oh’. Freaking bastard.

And I am tired of this crap that I don’t need right now. “Open the door. I want out.”

But he stands there. Yes, stands at the door that he is supposed to be opening, but isn’t. “No, Liz. We didn’t even get to talk.”

“We’ve been talking, Max.” And the bickering ensues.

“Not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Oh great. There’s more. Haha… he’s going to drive me crazy. “Spit it out already.”

I look at him and I am fuming. But he just leans back against the door and sticks his hands in his pocket, shaking his head. “I don’t want to talk to you while you’re angry.”

Still fuming. “Well, you’re going to have to take a rain-check then because I don’t plan on cooling it anytime soon.”

Another fucking shrug. I am really getting tired of his shrugs. “I guess we’re stuck here then. I’m not opening the door until we talk.”

He walks away from me and I just stand there, arms crossed over my chest, still breathing hard.

I’m facing the door but I can hear him making noise behind me. Curiosity killed the cat. And I am quite a curious little kitty. Turn around and look at him. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for food.” He goes through another drawer of Schierling’s desk. “I’m kind of hungry.”

Great. He’s hungry and I’m tired. I’m tired of this. I’m tired of arguing with him. I’m tired of everything. But I’m stuck. I’m cornered. And I’m suffocating.

Step over to the table and sit down on the stool, resting my head on the table next to his bag, closing my eyes.

“Score.”

I hear him talking but I don’t look up. Too tired.

“Want some, Liz?” I think he’s still behind Schierling’s desk.

“No.” I just want to be left alone.

“Come on. They’re Girl Scout cookies. No one can resist Girl Scout cookies.”

I think I can hear my tummy rumbling. Lift my head and turn to him. He’s smiling happily while showcasing a box of oatmeal cookies, stuffing a few in his mouth. Although I don’t want to, I find myself smiling at his efforts. He’s so adorable with his mouth full, ears sticking out, crumbs everywhere on his shirt and face, doing a little happy dance.

And my resolve and anger are crumbling. Hehe… cookies… crumbs… crumbling. Get it? Sigh. I’m such a dork.

“Oatmeal. Yumm.” I look back up and he’s stuffing a few more into his mouth, licking his fingers and winks at me.

My mouth waters, but I sigh, shaking my head. “I prefer thin mint.”

“Gotcha covered.” He picks up another box of cookies and walks around the desk and over towards me, smiling. I smile too. I think he doesn’t likes arguing with me just as much as I don’t like arguing with him. Unless you are in the mood to argue, it’s just too tiring.

He hands me the box and sits next to me. Sigh… chocolaty goodness.

I look at him and he’s pulled some kind of canteen out of his bag. It’s one of those little silver ones. “What’s that?”

He caps it and puts it away. “Oh, nothing… it’s just… um… cookies make my throat dry.”

“Oh.” Right. It’s probably liquor. He’s probably drunk right now.

We eat our cookies until I stop and set mine aside.

He follows suit and starts up. “So… are you still angry with me?”

Nod my head. “Yes.” When I hold a grudge, I hold a grudge.

“Keep in mind that I’m not letting you out until we talk.” He reaches for his box of cookies again. “And I’m not talking with you still angry at me.”

Groan. Moan. Sigh. Can I stand being in this room alone with him any longer? “No, I’m not.”

“That’s good.” He rummages through his box.

I grab it from him and set it aside. At this rate, we’ll probably be in here all afternoon. “Talk.”

He takes a deep breath and I think we’re getting into serious mode. Not good. “I’m worried about you, Liz.”

Sigh. “There’s nothing for you to be worried about, Max.”

“I think there is.” He’s giving me that look and that tone again.

“Max…” I know I’m whining, but I’m tired. I just want him to stop with all of this.

But he sighs and grabs his bag. For a second, I think he’s given up on me and is about to let me out. But he doesn’t. He reaches into his bag, pulls something out, and places it gently on the table.

And I stare at it. My heart beat quickening. Panic level rising. “What’s that?” I try to sound naïve, as if I didn’t know, but I’m fidgeting. I know I’m fidgeting. He knows I’m fidgeting. It’s not good.

“You know what it is.” And he gives me that look again. The one that begs me not to lie to him, to be honest with him and to trust him.

“H-How the hell did you get it, Max?” The last I remember of it, it was in my room, on the floor somewhere from when I threw it last night.

He opens his mouth to say something, but closes it again. “T-That’s not the point. The point is, is that, I have it, and I know. And I… I want to help you, Liz. I want to be here for you. You can take out all your anger on me. Hell, you can use me as a punching bag for all I care. Just don’t do this.”

And I can’t look him in the eyes anymore, because the look is getting to be too much. So what do I do? I play dumb. “Do what, Max?”

“Hurt yourself.” I know he’s looking at me. The look was probably already enough, but the way he said it, it’s like he’s disappointed with me. Disappointed with me for not telling him.

And you know what? It’s not his freaking problem to know about. It’s not his problem to worry over. It’s not his problem to deal with. I’m not his charity case. So he can just drop the whole concerned bit. “I’m not hurting myself, Max. You think I’m that stupid enough to do something like that?”

There’s a pause. Yup, it’s evident that I’m still angry with him. “I don’t know, Liz.” He’s talking softly and slowly. So every word sinks into my head. I hate it when every word sinks into my head. It’s harder to pretend that way. “But I know that if you need to talk, I’m here. And I swear, no judging, and no pitying. Just gonna listen. And maybe be a shoulder to lean on, anytime you need it.” He smiles.

He’s trying, at least. I have to give him credit for that. He’s here when most people wouldn’t be. The only problem is, he’s not supposed to be here. I’m not his responsibility. He’s not my mom or my dad or my pet. He’s nothing to me. I’m nothing to him. “That’s sweet, Max. But I don’t need it.”

Reach over for the small knife, but Max beats me to it. He pulls out the blade and places it back on the table. “Then what is this, Liz?”

There’s red. I see red. So what do I do? I play dumb. “What’s what?”

“This.” He runs his finger along the blade. “This is blood.”

And I… bullshit the best I can. “No, it’s not. I used it to cut my burger the other day, and there was ketchup-”

“Liz. I think I know the difference between blood and ketchup. I’m not that stupid, you know.” He’s angry. But I would be too if he tried to give me some lame ass excuse like that. “And this is blood, Liz.” His voice gets that tone again. The one he uses to try to get through to me. “It’s your blood.”

And me, being the denial person and all… “No, it’s not.”

“Liz.” He closes his eyes and takes a breath. I think he’s frustrated with me. I think he’s tired. “I know.”

Sigh. He’s not the only one that’s tired. And my mouth just opens, and it just comes out. “Okay. Fine. I’ll admit it. I’m a very, very sick and demented person. I just… I couldn’t help myself. There was a pigeon on my roof the other day, and I caught it, and took my knife, and grabbed its wing and starting sawing-”

“Stop giving me this shit! I know, okay?” And I flinch, though I didn’t want to. But I did, because Max yelled at me. Max is angry with me. But he has no right to be. He has no right to keep me trapped here, to keep me suffocating. He says he knows, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be me. He doesn’t know all the pain that I go through. He doesn’t know anything.

“You don’t know jack shit, Max!”

I try to brush past him, to the door, but he grabs my hand, pulling it to him. I try to pull away, but he only grips tighter, making my watch rub into my wrist and making me wince in response. He gives me a look before he goes back to my wrist and I am scared shitless as I stand there, frozen, praying for him to stop. But does he? No. Everything goes into slow motion. He pulls up my sleeve slowly, and little by little, everything comes out. My wrist is bare and I feel exposed, naked for him to see.

“Liz…” I can feel him looking at me, but I’m staring at my wrist, the ugly red line staring right back at me, scorning me. Wrap my other arm around myself, because when you’re naked, the first thing you try to do is cover up what little you can. Save what little dignity you have left. And close your eyes and wish it all away, praying that this is all just some kind of bad dream.

Feel pressure on my wrist again and my eyes snap open, gasping in shock and staring at him with his lips brushing softly over the ugliness, like he was wanting to take away all the pain. He looks back up at me with those eyes of his. That look he has. It makes my knees go weak, my heart start pounding. “Liz, you shouldn’t do this to yourself. You shouldn’t. Please, don’t. You’re… You’re so much better than this.”

And I just look at him, blinking a few times before I jerk my hand away from him. “No, I’m not better than this. I’m not! What happened to not judging? God, everyone has me so high on this goddamn pedestal. And I can’t… I can’t keep my balance. I’m hanging on by the tip of my toes. One wrong move and I’m going to fall. Little Lizzie never lost her balance. Little Lizzie never fell. But little Lizzie’s gone, Max. She’s gone. And no matter how much I want to pretend to be her again, I’m not. No matter how much I try to be, I’m not this ideal little miss perfect person that everyone thinks I am. That’s not me.”

“I know that, Liz.”

“Do you? Because no one else does. No one knows me. And no matter how much you think you do, you don’t know me either, Max. No one knows what goes on in this head of mine. Or how fucked-up all my thoughts are. Hell, if they did, they’d be so shocked because, guess what, Max! I’m not perfect! I never was!”

“I never said you were. God, Liz!” He’s raising his voice again. “You’re not even on a pedestal in my mind. If anything, you might be standing on a stack of telephone books maybe, two of them, at the most,” he holds up two fingers. And I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. “And that’s ‘if anything’, Liz! You’re not perfect. I know that. You are FAR from perfect. Hell, you have more faults than anyone I know!”

And me? I smile at him while he’s telling me all this, trying my best to not give anything away, that I’m indifferent to all that he’s telling me. So that he won’t know. And he won’t see that I’m already crying inside, pulling myself into a ball and detaching myself from all of this. Drifting off again into the depths of my mind, where everything is peachy-keen and everyone is happy.

There’s a pause and I wait while he takes deep breaths to calm himself down. This is the part where he realizes what all he just said and tries to apologize like crazy, trying to make it up to me with flowers and candy and such until I finally forgive him. And then he goes back to trying to ‘save’ me, being all saint-like again. I wait and his breathing is even again. He looks at me. And here it comes…

“And the fact is, that you’re… you’re just… so… you’re selfish, Liz. You’re selfish, and you’re a coward, you’re scared of everything, and you have the lowest self-esteem. And those are only a few of the things I can name off of the top of my head.”

And I am NOT openly crying. No siree, waterfalls of tears are NOT coming from my eyes. I just stand there, leaning against the table, staring down at my feet, arms crossed over my chest, closing myself off to stop from outright sobbing. Blocking myself off from everything he’s saying, so that it doesn’t hurt me anymore than it already has. ‘I am rubber and you are glue’ and all that shit.

Two shoes come to be right in front of mine. I won’t look up though. I can’t look at him. Not when he sees me as this incredibly stupid and retarded being. That’s a laugh. He probably doesn’t even see me as a being. I am dirt. Lower than dirt. I am scum. Not the kind of scum that’s on the bottom of people’s shoes, but the scum on the ground. The kind of scum that are forced to bake in the sun and turn all black. Scum. Damn it, I’m thinking of gum. Shit. Of course he thinks I’m retarded. Because I am.

“But, Liz.” His voice is soft. I didn’t expect that, not after him saying all those harsh words. They may have been harsh, but they were true. This is how he sees you. This is what you are to him and to everyone else. This worthless and pathetic person. Hands come into view and fingers are brushing over my cheeks, wiping at invisible tears. He knows. He knows I’m sobbing inside, that I’m just putting up this ‘tough guy’ front, pretending that his words didn’t hurt, when in actuality, each and every word nicked at me, cutting to the bone. He knows… damn him.

The hand leaves my cheek and I feel it on my waist, pulling me from the table and closer to him. “And all of this about you, I see, but not the way you do. Unlike you, I love every one of your faults…” the other hand goes up and my hair gets tucked behind my ear, “…every imperfection… everything, because they are what makes you… you. And I love everything about you, Liz. I love it when you smile, when you laugh, when you… growl.” He’s snickering at me. At me. Snickering. Snickering at my peculiarities.

“And I love to hear you talk about the oddest things.” Again, he’s laughing at me. Why does he keep laughing at me? Why? Is my pathetic life that amusing to him for him to laugh at me? “And how you like to sit back and look at things… and just… and I love how beautiful you are. I love everything about you, Liz… and… I love you.”

Bring my hand up to untuck my hair, letting it fall and veil around my face, so that he won’t see. He won’t see the tears fall. And if he can’t see them, he can’t laugh at them. He can’t list them as another one of my flaws. He’s already listed so many of them for me to hear, as if I didn’t know them by now. As if I didn’t know that I was a self-centered brat who no one wants. I know that. I’m reminded of that every fucking day.

“Liz…”

What? Is he going to go through listing more of my faults? God, does he think I want to hear more of them? That I don’t already know them?

“Fuck off, Evans.” Shove him aside with everything I have and rush for the door. Grip the knob and jerk at it. Turn, push, kick. Why won’t it open? Please, to God, open. Twist, turn, shove. And it comes ajar with me falling to the ground. Scramble to my feet and rush forward. Down the hall and down the stairs, wiping at tears. Away from the hurt, and away from him.


-------------------------------------------------


[ edited 3 time(s), last at 20-Jun-2002 1:12:06 AM ]
posted on 19-Jun-2002 6:54:14 PM by LiLEvEe
So Kara, that's seventeen pages on Word. Happy?? Hope everyone enjoys. I may now go work on something else. Thank you everyone for reading!!

Evelynn






posted on 19-Jun-2002 9:49:07 PM by LiLEvEe
Wow. Thanks silverwolf when I get feedback from lurkers, I get so ecstatic. Hmm... thank you for your compliments. I'm not sure if I have any symptoms myself. I've never been diagnosed or examined other than those weird online quizzes, but I doubt that those work. But I wouldn't be surprised if I did come up with some ailment *wink*. All I've ever done was skip first period, go to the library, and read the books in the whole section that they had on mental disorders, reading through the symptoms and comparing myself to it, and then reading the ways to get better. Oh, and I've also been sent down to the counselor by a teacher because she says I haven't been my 'chippery' self. Whatever that meant. I don't think I've ever been chippery though.

MARY N 008: All of your speculations are very good, however we won't know or have to worry about it all until we get to a Max POV right? This is why I love first person, you only see what the narrator sees and you try to piece it together from that. But it sometimes gets difficult to write, but never boring. But when I said that I went to work on something else. I didn't mean this story, sorry. I'm going through and editing Accept the Challenge.

aZNroSweLl anglgrl: Thanks for reading my story!! I'm glad you liked it. Yeah, things can either get better or they get worse. We'll have to see.

Rapunzel: Thank you for your compliment. So... was it really the most powerful part of the story? Thank you. I was really trying to show that she didn't get it that he told her he loved her. Did I express it enough that she wasn't quite comprehending all that he was saying? Well that's what I was aiming for so I hope I got that part well. Thank you for reading and for your feedback each and every time. Thanks Kari!!

PixieChic: Thank you for your feedback and thank you for reading!! If you feel bad for Liz, that was what I was sort of aiming for. You either feel bad for her or you feel a connection with her in some sort. Will they have a happily ever after... I don't know. I sometimes like reality endings (I.e. like how City of Angels ended). Sometimes. It depends on how I feel Liz's character should progress. But maybe.

eccentric one: Kara, I'm waiting. I made that last part extra long just for you and Kath, so see awaiting feedback... hopefully lengthy feedback?? You know I love it!!


That's all!! Thank you for READING!!

Evelynn






posted on 21-Jun-2002 1:59:49 AM by LiLEvEe
Hmmm.... so... fourteen feedbackers. Is that good by anyone's standards. Come on people, I put my heart and soul into those last few parts. Any one want to just come out and say 'Thanks for writing'? Any one at all.

Sigh. I don't care. Hell, as long as I have one person interested in the story, I'd keep writing. And I have fourteen, so that should tie me over, right? You'd think, wouldn't you?

So anyway... some things I thought everyone should know and make it clear and all because stories can get confusing and then you read so many that they start mushing together so I wanted to clarify again:
*-Isabel and Michael are brother and sister
*-Max doesn't have siblings. The story hasn't said that yet, but it will get out.
*-Take the three kisses how ever which way you want to. The only way to clarify it is in a Max POV or if its something Liz 'remembers'.
*-I know a couple of parts ago I said things were going to get better, but apparently in the last part they got worse somewhat. Go figure.
*-I'm still not sure on the ending. Happy or not.
*-I still don't know if Liz can 'recover'.


MAX POV INFO
Okay, now, big topic. The Max POV. I have decided on a title, yes. It will be ::drumm roll please:: THE LAYER GAME. Lame, yes, but I couldn't think of anything else.

If there is a Max POV, there will be definite spin offs from this story. Not all too big of spinoffs though. I'm not gonna like follow along stitch by stitch of this story. That'd be borning. I doubt that I'll start it out with Ever heard of the LAYER game? That's just lame. I'll have to come up with a better intro than that. I don't even know why I started out with that for this story. I was probably drunk or something.

And wow, I've already got 14 chapters. Well, I did go back and combine. Fourteen lengthy chapters with each an average of like 13 pages each. That is a hell of a lot to read. And to think, I wasn't even going to continue with this story after I put out the prologue, but the response was good. A lot of it from readers of Accept The Challenge. By the way, I should be finishing that one up.

All right, so on the fate of this Max POV. Remember how I said that I would get a Max POV out if I got done with this Liz POV by the end of June. Yes, I am positive I said something to that extent for those of you who doubt me. And I know, the end of June is right around the corner. I'm not sure if I am going to extend that deadline I created for myself or not. But I am positive that as of right now, there is no way I am meeting it. There is no way I can get from where I am to the end in a week.


Lastly, this has nothing to do with the Max POV, but do I talk too much. You know how you read stories posted by other authors and they just post the story, you leave feedback and that's that? I always comment about every freaking little thing. I think I talk too much. But if I didn't, it'd be harder to write the story... hmmm.... eh, to each his own.


Thank you everyone for leaving me marvelous marvelous feedback (yes, I've missed you Eraser Room). And thank you for those of you who read and didn't leave feedback!! I appreciate you all too!! THANK YOU!!!!


Oh, and for those else interested, I DO plan on continuing Harvest Moon, just not right now. As soon as I get Accept the Challenge done, I'm going to go back and rewrite it. Just thought you might like to know.'

Oh, and this also counts as a shameless, yes, SHAMELESS bump for me. Because I like seeing my story in the first few pages, even if I have to bump it for myself. Yes, I am conceited like that. I admit to it. And yes, I do enjoy attention. THANK YOU very much.

Evelynn







posted on 21-Jun-2002 4:07:41 PM by LiLEvEe
I hate this story!! It's so... grr... And I hate parents too. They are so... grr... AND writer's block SUCKS!!!

::huff:: ::puff:: ::snuff:: ::puff:: ::huff:: ::puff:: ::puff::

If you haven't guessed, I'm taking a break from writing. I'm probably just in a bad mood.

Freaking writer's block. It's not really writer's block. It's more along the lines of "I know what I want to happen next. Already have a lot of it written out, just reluctant to get the rest of it out and posted. I don't know why. Maybe I'm just lazy. But it's frustrating.

So I'm taking a break and gonna just read fanfics like a normal Roswell Fanatic. I'll be back in 1 1/2 weeks. Maybe...


Evelynn






posted on 26-Jun-2002 12:00:23 AM by LiLEvEe
AUTHOR'S NOTE


Okay... so there's been a lot of 'stuff' going on with this story, a lot of it on the Accept The Challenge thread. So here's the low-down, and yes, I did type 'low-down'.

It all basically transcribed when I typed "Since I'm not writing The Denial Game anymore." It confused some people because I never mentioned that I was going to discontinue the story, but in all honesty, I was considering it. These are my reasons and my thoughts. Argue with them all you want, tell me I'm wrong, whatever, but these were my thoughts.

Okay, first off, I already started typing up chapter fifteen for this story, but there are two different possible versions to it that I have in the making. I like neither and so I get frustrated. Thus, my break. Everyone understood/was okay with/ accepted it if I went on a break.

Second, this story is so freaking confusing. It's hard to know what happened when. There are so many different things going on, that if I forget to resolve one thing, it all starts piling up, and if I don't solve one problem before I move on to the next, it won't match up and it'll get all screwy. And it seems as though Liz so far out there that she'll never solve any of these things.

Third, there is so much emotional stuff going on that it just seems so... so much emotional stuff going on. SO MANY FREAKING EMOTIONS. And it's strange because I'm not an emotional person. And I really love everyone's coments to me saying how they connect with the story and that it's portrayed like it is. It's really making me question my sanity, and I LOVE IT!! Keep 'em coming. So that's not really a problem except that sometimes there's too much emotion and it's hard to pull back.

Fourth, okay so this excuse is just expanding the second one, but there's so much going on:
*There's the whole Ed Harding thing: How I've got Ed set up to be, his character is already huge once he enters the scene. I wanted his character to be... scary and somewhat demented.
*The dad thing: I wanted to have a scene with him and Liz that will be a very vital part of the suspense, it will confuse, but it has to be later on in the story, only I don't know where in the plot, so it's confusing, but I have to sync him and the Ed thing up just right.
*Sean: I wanted his punishment revealed, but where the story is right now, it's not the right time yet. But it's the kind of thing where you go 'oh, I get it, why didn't I see that earlier?"
*Max: People are angry at Max's character right now. I guess this is why there's such a great appeal to a Max POV, eh? Since there's so much more going on to Max than you think. But hey, the only person who sees all this is me, and you can't really see inside my head now can you?
*the claiming deal: will this ever be solved? Will this ever be brought up again? What is up with the whole claiming deal??
*the mom thing: has not been fully brought up yet. So so so much going on there.
*and oh so much more...

Lastly and most important reason why I wanted to discontinue this story, Incognito updated Core. And I was like, Hell yeah!! And you know, since there was an update for Core, I had to go back and reread it to get the gist of it once again. And then I went back and reread Spin so that I can see as to where Core was going again and matching up the places (I love two views on the same story, it's so interesting how differently people see things) And while I was reading Spin, I was like hey, so many things to my story resemble it. The onions, the layers, the girl scout cookies. There are so many similarities that this story is actually seeming like a sucky cheezy crappy knock-off version of this incredible story that SPIN is ((I wrote that in a feedback in Core. I wonder if incognito will comment to me back on that)). And when I look at this story, I think of it as a really lame wanna be SPIN. And I thought that that was offending to SPIN because SPIN is this mega incredible story.

Okay, so here is where you, as the readers, tell me I'm wrong and that my story is not like Spin at all and that I'm just losing it and that I should continue writing. Tell me please!!!

So that is why. That was all that was going on through my head. Okay, wait, yes I had that whole fuss over only having fourteen feedbacks, but I was just whining. It's not that big of a deal. That's a great amount of feedback. It is. I should be so grateful that I even get feedback. I am grateful. I am. This is why I am going to be thanking everyone now. THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!

And if that is not enough:

THANK YOU



*another stupid little comment, my computer just got a bit faster and now my dog that is on top of my links to my stories runs a lot faster too, so he looks like he's high on speed. Just a stupid note.



Evelynn







[ edited 1 time(s), last at 26-Jun-2002 12:12:20 AM ]
posted on 1-Jul-2002 4:33:19 PM by LiLEvEe
*~*~*~*~*~* AUTHOR'S NOTE *~*~*~*~*~*



So... um... yeah... I got in last night at around one in the morning, and I just now got done reading all of the feedback. Wow. Five pages of feedback. That is... um... a hell of a lot of feedback. So that would make me a completely evil and bad writer if I discontinued this, right?

I wanted to reply to everyone's feedback, but that's just... too much feedback for me to reply to every single one. And if I replied to only some and left others out, I'd feel bad. But I have read every feedback at least four times each, the longer ones, I've read way more than that, and have taken everything everyone has said to heart, even the death threats. In fact, I'm reading them all over again as I get the names for thank you's.

I'm supposed to be going down to Houston to extend my vacation for another week and not come back until next week, but as soon as I got home, I was just too tired to go on another vacation. After all, only one more week until school starts.

So... Much thanks to:

valkerie5
CRAZY 4 MAX
kast
Eccentric One
cyberchic121
nayney
Faith EvansQueenBee05
carolina_moon
aZNroSweLl anglgrl
wenhaver
DrEaMPrYnCeZz
dreamforever88keep the faith
rattlebox
tajaz
silverwolf
Calinia
Ner
Saymi
frenchkiss70
Eraser Room
mermaidgirl
Assilem_1
PixieChic
Twilighteyes1974
b4echstarrynite
Hawk
goddessgurl5000
Mary N OO8


And thank you to the many bumps and the many long feedbacks- you know I love 'em!!

And incognito responded to my feedback too. I felt special. I read and there was an Evelynn and I was like... hmm... I wonder how many Evelynns there are on this board. So I'll have to thank incognito later too.

So... I guess I will be continuing. With all the threats and all, I can't not continue. Yes, because of the threats. They were quite scary. Give me a while until the next part comes out. I'm not sure when I'll get back into the story. Hell, I might have an update tomorrow. We'll just have to see when this story wants to continue itself.

Okay, lastly, I'm going to take your advice, I may need help while writing this story. Anyone willing to help me? I don't like giving the story away or anything. I want everyone to be like... surprised or whatever. But I may need someone to run the story by first and point out the confusing parts for me and things I need to address and clear up and such.

There was something else I wanted to say. But I'm always seeming to forget. Oh...

Every single one of your feedbacks mattered to me. They really really did. I counted a total of thirty feedbackers. One less and I may not have continued. So THANK YOU.

Okay... so... now... I guess all of the lurkers that responded can go back to being lurkers again, if you want. Whatever suits you. Some people just don't like feedback. I, on the other hand, love it. And I feel bad when I read someone's story and don't leave feedback. It's like paying the piper, you know? And not leaving feedback is like stealing. That's my opinion, you can agree, disagree, whatever. My opinion.
Thank you everyone. THANK YOU! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!!

Is that it? I believe so. Thank you for putting up with me and I apologize for the whole discontinuing ordeal. I've probably lost a good deal of readers due to my hissy fits. Hehe... probably. THANK YOU AGAIN EVERYONE!!!!



Evelynn







posted on 6-Jul-2002 1:54:04 AM by LiLEvEe
So... It's been a while and I thought I should check back in. So... now I have a total of five different chapter 15's. I had planned on picking one and getting a part out this week before school started up on Monday but I ended up being busy packing for my sister and things. So... I'm going to try and get a part out by Sunday, but I'm not making any promises. Thank you everyone for your feedback and for reading. THANKS!!!


Evelynn






posted on 8-Jul-2002 1:17:08 AM by LiLEvEe
Sorry, it looks like I didn't meet the deadline. I went to go watch Lilo and Stitch so the chapter isn't done. I have all the dialogue completed from beginning to end and I have the first two pages of the story completed. But the rest of it isn't done. And I have to go to sleep now. I have school at 8 in the morning. But it looks like this is going to be a pretty long chapter as well. Thank you for your wait and again I apologize for not having it done. But I will work on it. I promise. Thank you again!!


Evelynn






posted on 17-Jul-2002 8:05:38 PM by LiLEvEe
So I ran. That's all I did, just kept running. Running away. But not just from Max, from everything. From my problems, my pains, my sorrows. Everything.

And in the middle of the street. half-way home, I come to a complete hault. I've been running. That's all I've ever done was run. And right now... I'm tired. I'm sick of running. I'm sick of blocking off and hiding everything.

All of my problems have just been stacking up. They've become the cement to my bricks to my walls about me. And the walls have all started to come in on me. I'm screaming out and I can't breath.

I want out. I'm tired, too tired.

I hear pounding against the pavement, and I smile. He's been running after me, calling after me since I stepped foot off of the campus.

I turn around slowly. He's only a few yards away. He starts slowing his pace to a walk as he gets closer, looking at me.

He's giving me the look again. You know, that look. The one with the weird feelings in the eyes. What was it again? Love?

And it's funny, because I'm pretty sure I'm giving him that same look too. And it's okay. The world hasn't exploaded, the universe isn't going to collapse. I'm feeling this, and it's okay. No one is dying.

Birds are, however, singing, flowers are blooming, music playing in the air. All of that corny junk. And my vision gets blurry and all I see is him, walking towards me, smiling that smile of his.

He starts saying something. His mouth is moving, making very large urgent hand gestures, but I'm not really listening, the birds are still busy singing in my ear.

Until my beautiful harmonious music is interrupted by a large blaring horn. And that's when I turn to see it. Turn to the side and there is a 18 wheeler heading right at me, a few feet away and I smile.

It all happens so fast and I find myself haulted into the air, landing on the hard pavement. I'm bruised and sore and I look up, and there it was, Max's mutilated body, run over by the truck.

I get up and walk over there. And I look at him. There's blood everywhere, but overall, he doesn't look all that bad. I mean, you can still make out some of his face.

Sigh and shake my head. "Poor, poor Max. He never even got laid. But, whatcha gonna do?" Shrug and walk away. I wonder what Doug is up to.




















Just kidding. Scare ya?? Isn't that just a great way to end it?

HI EVERYONE!!

I know.. it's been... quite a while hasn't it? Yes it has. It's been even longer since I put a part out too. What has it been? Almost a month now?

Sorry about that. But my life's been a bit hectic lately what with school and lectures and tests and no more sleeping in and all. So I really haven't had time to work on stories.

I want to get a new part out but simply lack the time. I'm no just saying that either. Trust me, I really want this story to get over with. I started it in what? January and now it's freaking July? Same thing with Accept the Challenge only I started that even earlier. Gosh.

I want to get done with this story but I don't want to give it an inappropriate ending. If you don't know what I'm talking about, read above storyline. And honestly, we're not even half way done with this story yet. So much... so so much more to go.

So... this is really to just check in and THANK everyone for their feedback and so that everyone knows that I'm not dead, though I haven't been around a lot. School is hectic. Really, it is. I've been getting so little sleep.

So... I guess that's it. THANK YOU again EVERYONE. I'll check back in again when I find time. THANKS!!!!


Evelynn






posted on 17-Jul-2002 8:49:53 PM by LiLEvEe
Oh, I forgot to add a special THANK YOU to Eccentric One and Mermaidgirl for both helping me out.

Kara, I'm taking your advice and right now, I'm typing up a Max POV and seeing where the story wants to go from his side of it. I'm really liking this approach. It's been very interesting so far.

Mermaidgirl, I'm taking your advice and am going to make something "drastic" happen to Liz in order to get her to "Open-up"... to Doug... JK... hehe... yeah... thanks

THANK YOU EVERYONE for your SUPPORT!!!!!

Evelynn






posted on 21-Jul-2002 12:49:13 AM by LiLEvEe
I'll check in more often if that is the case, but I didn't want to keep leaving little notes when I don't even have a part out for you. It's been over a month now but, still no part. I'm covering area on the Max POV though. The only problem is that it's area that's already been covered in the Liz POV. Really, right now, I'm taking all of chapter fourteen and making the Max POV to it and seeing where Max goes from there so I know where to take Liz. Geez. Have you noticed the changes to the board. Wow. And now we can see who is online or not. Ain't it nifty?


Evelynn






posted on 21-Jul-2002 10:00:59 PM by LiLEvEe
-------------------------------------------------


Chapter Fifteen



I am a machine. You know how after you go through this really, really huge nerve wrecking thing, you kind of just lose it? And you kind of just detach yourself from your body, and you kind of just go through motions? It’s what I like to call robot-mode. Robots don’t have brains. Robots don’t have hearts either. And I am a heartless and brainless person. I am a robot. I am the Tin-Man. You know, from the Wizard of Oz. ‘If I only had a brain’. Okay, so that was actually the Scarecrow, but I don’t remember if the Tin-Man had a little song or not.

Anyhow, it’s not like every robot doesn’t have a heart. Just look at R2D2. He’s not a cold metallic killing machine. Nope. But the Tin-Man lacked a heart. So that means that whatever freaking Frankenstein that created him didn’t give him a heart. So whoever created me didn’t give me a heart either. My parents didn’t give me a heart.

Gasp. What horrible child would say something like that about her parents? Yes, I do realize that I am going straight to the fiery depths of hell. It’s where I belong.

But that’s just how life is. It’s easier to deal with problems if you can lay the blame on others. And parents are an easy target. Them, and Mr. Let’s-lock-Liz-in-a-room-and-yell-at-her-confusing-her-with-emotions-and-thoughts-galore. After all, it’s funny watching Liz and seeing what crazy things she’ll do next. Yesterday she cut her wrist, today she might hang herself.

No. Suicide’s no good. If that’s one good thing I’ve ever learned. You’re no good to anyone dead. Mom’s dead and that’s it. Dad’s not dead. Dad’s in jail. Since Dad’s not dead, he can still screw with your head by sending you letters and shit that you’re too scared to open.

I’m scared. I’ll admit that, but I don’t know why I’m scared. Is it because it might add to my problems, creating more turns, more spins, more 360’s? How many times can you spin around and still be able to see? How many times is it still possible for you to stay standing? How many times until you lose your footing and fall? Because I, for some freaked up reason, think that my last spin passed without my realizing it. I fell from my space without realizing it. And now I don’t know if I can pick myself up. At least not without a little help.

Ring. Ring.

Sigh. Walk through the ‘Employees Only’ door and pick up the phone.

“Crashdown Café.”

And you know what I hear? Breathing. No talking, just breathing.

“Hello?”

More breathing. But then I stop hearing that too.

“Hello?”

Click. Great. It was probably a wrong number. Or maybe it was an alien trying to make contact with me, but can only communicate through the sounds of heavy breathing? Wouldn’t that just add to my day?

And I slowly head back toward the counter. Plop down and start spinning. The diner’s pretty much empty today. No customers, with only me and Maria working. Which is just me sitting and spinning on a stool while Maria stays behind the counter, reading a magazine.

I’ve been ignoring her all afternoon. Can you guess why? I hold a grudge well, don’t I? But it’s not like she’s making an effort to see why I’m ignoring her. Which is fine with me, you know? It’s not like I enjoy talking or anything. As a matter of fact, I don’t. I dislike it. Talking is highly overrated. Sigh. This is me, sour grapes and all.

Sigh. Close my eyes and spin. Spin, spin, spin. And when I open my eyes, I’m facing the booth, his booth. He didn’t come today like he normally did every other day. And I don’t know whether I’m disappointed or relieved. God, why is it that when I think of him my mind just gets so… grrr… He’s so confusing and complicated and frustrating and…

And I think I’m falling for him. What am I saying? That can’t be right.

Argh… ugh… Why is life so confusing?

You should be able to just shut everything out. Everything. And just close your eyes and spin. Spin until your head hurts and you can’t see straight anymore. And just keep spinning some more.

So that’s what I do. I spin in my stool. And all of my thoughts just scramble together. And my worries just mush into the farthest corner of my mind. And I spin. Spin, spin, spin.

Spin until my brain starts feeling light-headed and I’m starting to be able to hear the liquids swishing around in my stomach. And spin until my stool catches onto something, and I go flying.

“Ahh…”

Fingers grip around my arms and I’m left standing.

“I didn’t mean to make you fall. Let’s go.”

My eyes finally focus and stop spinning and I see his back, walking away from me. Go? Go where? With him? Is he crazy? “I’m busy, Max.”

“Look, Liz. We’ve got to go.” And the defiant way he stands there. The way his jaw is set. The way he’s narrowing his eyes at me. And the way he’s looking at me as though I’m supposed to follow obediently, like a puppy, without question. It all just sets me off.

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

He starts doing that thing that he does when he’s mad, grinding his jaw and just staring you down. “Look, I’m not going to argue with you right now. Just… do as I say, Liz.”

“What?” How was that remark any better than his last? “I don’t know where you get off trying to tell me what to do. But I don’t just take orders, Max.”

He starts doing his irritated look again with the jaw grinding and the glaring. “Whatever problem it is you have with me, put it aside. This isn’t about me. This is about Alex.”

Alex? Wait… “What?”

“Alex is hurt.” He says it in a way as if I should have known. As if everyone in the whole world already knew.

Well, obviously, I didn’t know. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

“What do you think I’m doing here?”

“I don’t know, Max. Picking daisies?” Grr…

I think I see steam coming out of his nostrils. “Let’s just go.”

“Fine.” Huff and follow him out the door. “Where are we going?”

“Hospital.”

He’s already jumped into his jeep and I’m barely in when he already guns the engine and takes off.


--------------


I don’t have my seatbelt on. Normally, it’s the first thing I do, put on my seatbelt. But I don’t. Why? Because it’d be awfully difficult to have my seatbelt on with how I’m sitting, with my back to the door, my legs drawn up, and the rest of me facing him.

Why am I sitting here staring at him, you ask? Because I’m angry with him. And he’s angry with me. And that look he has on with the mixture of frustration, hurt, annoyance, irritation, and whatever else he’s feeling, adding to the brooding look of his, makes him look oh-so sexy. Wait… did I just say that?

“Stop looking at me.” Wow. After we’ve been riding in silence, he finally speaks.

“Why?” Do I make you nervous?

“Why are you looking at me?”

“Why can’t I look at you? I thought you’d be used to the staring, what with all the ‘special’ attention you get from the ‘student body’. And by ‘student body’, I mean Pam’s. Oh, wait. We’ve moved on to Isabel now, haven’t we?”

“What do you get so jealous for?” He’s shaking his head at me. And I am scolding myself too. What do I get so jealous for? Why am I sitting here, getting angry with him for? He didn’t do anything wrong. Isabel is gorgeous. Who wouldn’t want to be with her?

That creepy silence comes over us again. And all you can hear is the car engine going vroom. That’s it.

Max shifts gears and I look down at his hand. His knuckles are all scraped, blood caking to them. What happened to him? Look up at his face and I just now notice that there’s sand in his hair, dirt on his face, scratches on his cheek.

“Max?”

“Yeah?” He doesn’t look at me. He keeps his eyes on the road.

“What happened?” Touch his hand, trace my fingers along his knuckles. His grip tightens so I look up at him. “That’s blood.”

“No, it’s ketchup.” I look at him for a good second before I turn around and sit correctly in my seat, my side to the door and facing out to the road. He’s mocking me. Sure. I agree that the excuse that I gave him in the chemistry room was lame-o, but there’s no reason for him to throw it back at me.

“Sorry.”

Sit there shocked. Wait… do my ears deceive me? Was that an apology? Yes, it was, Liz. And he meant it genuinely. Damn you, conscience of mine. Sigh. “I’m sorry too, Max. For getting angry at you and for what happened earlier today.”

“Yeah? So am I.”

I chose to ignore the sarcasm in his voice and move on. “So what happened?” And I ask the question I’ve been dreading. “How badly hurt is Alex?”

“It’s nothing too serious. Nothing for you to worry about.”

Nod my head and continue. “What? Was there… like a… fight or something?”

Pause. “I guess you could call it that.”

And before I can ask him what he meant by that, he turns off the engine and gets out.


--------------


“Mr. and Mrs. Whitman.” Max calls out immediately when he walks into the waiting room with me following shortly behind him. “I brought her.”

“Liz. I’m so glad you’re here. It’s so terrible.” Both come in and hug me. I feel uncomfortable, but manage by giving them each a pat on the back before pulling away. At least I know where Alex gets his touchy-feely-ness from.

I look at them both. Mrs. Whitman is a wreck, but Mr. Whitman is pulling her through. It must be nice to have someone to lean onto, huh? Not that I’d know. “Can I see him?”

“Of course. Third room on the right.” Mr. Whitman points down the hall. “But don’t wake him. He needs his rest.”

“Okay. I won’t.” I offer them a reassuring smile and walk on down the hall. Max is already standing at the doorway. He doesn’t walk in though.

And I kind of just stand there next to him. Okay. Calm down. Have I ever told you that I don’t like hospitals? The whiteness of the rooms gets to me. The small confined spaces make me claustrophobic.

There’s a hand on my shoulder. “Do you want me to go in with you?”

“Yes.” I don’t look at him. I just bring my hand up and grip his arm, letting him lead me in. And as we enter the room, all I see is white. Whiteness until my eyes land on Alex. His pale form laying there, his arm in a cast, scrapes and bruises on his skin, hooked up to machines. He looks so… “Oh God…” I don’t think I can take this. I can’t. Breathe. Breathe.

“Come on, Liz.” Arms go around me. “Let’s go.” And I’m being carried away.

When I feel the ground beneath me again, I look up at him. “Nothing serious? God, Max. Who would do that? Who would do that to Alex? Alex is a great guy. He’s so super nice to everyone. Who would-”

“Don’t pry, Liz.”

Is he kidding me? “Don’t pry? Don’t pry? How can I not? This is Alex. What happens to him, matters to me.”

“Don’t worry about it, Liz.” He’s gripping my shoulders now. “I’ll take care of it.”

“I’m sorry, Max.” Shrug his hands off. “But you aren’t exactly at the top of my list of favorite people right now. Now tell me what happened.”

“No.”

Hands on hips and stare at him. “Who hurt Alex?”

He shakes his head. “I’m not telling you. It’s not like you’re going to believe me if I did, anyway.”

Not believe you? Why wouldn’t I? “Try me.”

“Doug.”

Stare. “What?”

“Doug. All right? Shellow did it.”

Again, stare. “You’re right. I don’t believe you. Doug wouldn’t…” He’s too… nice. Besides, “He doesn’t have anything against Alex.”

“See? I knew you wouldn’t believe me.”

“I just… I don’t see why Doug would do this. Unless…” Oh, idea, you can just see the light bulb appear over my head, “You and Doug got into a fight over your male macho shit and Alex came in to help you and got hurt in the process. So this is all your fault.”

“What?”

Look at him, trying to play innocent. “It’s your fault Alex is hurt.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me… I wasn’t the only one involved, okay?”

Oh really? “Who else was in this little fight of yours?”

“It wasn’t my fight. And it wasn’t really a… fight... either.”

He’s struggling with his words. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. “Then what was it?”

“It was more like a… game.”

A game? “A game? What? Like wrestle mania? First one to knock the other unconscious wins?” Can he tell that I’m not buying this?

“No. It’s more like… look, I don’t have to explain this to you.” He shakes his head and then leans back against the wall.

“All right. Fine.” If he won’t tell me, I’ll go to someone who will. “ I’ll just get what I want to know from Doug.”

Storm off down the hall, past a few rooms, past a coke machine and a water fountain, and stop. Spin on my heel and storm back. Damn him. Damn him to hell. “You’re not going to stop me?”

He lifts his head up casually to look at me with raised eyebrows. “Am I supposed to?”

Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it. Deep breath and start away. “Never mind.”

I’m grabbed by the elbow and pulled back, facing him. “Do you want me to?”

The way he’s staring straight into my eyes, and looking at me. Like he’s seeing right into me. Through all my walls, sweaters, bandaids. Through it all and seeing me. It’s scary. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do, Liz.”

His eyes kind of shift around, but they never leave mine. It’s like he’s searching for something. Something he thinks he’ll find in my eyes. And he probably will. Eyes are the windows to the soul, you know. But if your soul is tainted, like mine is, it’s not exactly a pretty sight.

“What do you want, Liz?”

Everything, Max. Everything I’ve only dreamed of having. Freedom, friendship, love. I want it all. But I shouldn’t, should I? Because that’s selfish. And I shouldn’t be selfish, should I?

“What do you want?”

Body shaking, tears in my eyes. “It’s just not fair.” And I crumble.

Arms go around me and I feel warmth.

“It’s okay. Everything will be fine. You’ll see. Just give Alex a couple of days to get better, and everything will go back to normal.”

Normal? That’s a laugh. “My life isn’t exactly normal, Max.”

“So? What’s so great about normal?”

This feeling, this… light… fills me and I want to laugh and smile and cry, all at the same time.

“Hey kiddos.” Mr. Whitman’s voice interrupts, and me and Max immediately break up from each other. Mrs. Whitman just smiles at me from her husband’s side. “It’s getting pretty late. Why don’t ya’ll head on home?”

Wait… “Aren’t you coming home too?”

“No.” He shakes his head at me. “We’re going to stay the night.”

What? They’re going to stay? But “I want to stay.”

But Mr. Whitman goes into his fathering mode, with hands on his hips, the frown on his face, and that authoritative tone of voice. “I’m sure Alex would appreciate it, but it’s a school night, Liz.”

Sigh. I knew they weren’t going to let me. “Okay.”

“Come on. Chin up. Everything will be fine.” Mr. Whitman steps closer to me, ruffles my hair. “Let’s go. I’ll take you home.”

“Actually, Mr. Whitman, I can drop Liz off.” Max decides to step in and be Mr. Helpful.

“Are you sure, Max?” Mr. Whitman goes to stand next to Mrs. Whitman again. And I already know he’s going to let layer-boy take me home. Since he’s such a nice kid and all. I wonder if Mr. Whitman realizes that Max bangs cheerleaders. And that Max practically sexually assaulted me, pushing me up to a locker, kissing me and what not.

“No problem. It’s on my way home.” Max smiles that innocent smile of his.

“All right. I’ll see you kids tomorrow then.” Mr. Whitman obviously doesn’t know.


--------------


He drove me home in silence, which I found to be half eerie and half comforting. Strange, aren’t I?

“Are you okay, Liz?” We’re parked in front of the Crashdown. And he’s out of the jeep, standing there, opening my door for me.

Oh. Hop out. “I’ll live.” Rummage through my pocket for my keys and unlock the front door to the diner. Walk in and am about to lock the door from the inside when I notice that there’s also someone else inside the diner. And he shouldn’t be.

“Max, what are you doing?”

“Walking you up. The boogie monster might pop up and grab you. We don’t want that to happen now, do we?”

He’s joking. Am I in the mood to joke? No. So as sternly as possible, “Max…”

“Humor me. I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“Fine.” If he wants to do a little search and sweep over the place, fine by me. It’s not like I’m going to sleep or anything. Sigh. Walk into the back, grab me a tub of ice cream, a bowl, and a spoon and take my seat on the counter.

And when he’s finally satisfied with his search, he sits down next to me. “What are you doing?”

Let’s see, shall we? I have a tub of ice cream out. Ice cream scooped into a bowl. And am sticking a spoon of ice cream into my mouth. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

“Want help?”

Blink a few times. “I think I can handle eating my ice cream by myself.”

“Then, can get an Alien Blast?”

Point to the counter. “Can you make it yourself?”

“Of course. I’ve seen Maria do it plenty of times.” I go back to my ice cream, but I watch him head behind the counter and get himself a glass. Then step up to the machine. “What are all of these buttons for?”

Smile. I knew he wouldn’t be able to do it. Guys are so helpless and pathetic. “Sit down. I’ll get it.”

So we sit there, in the stools next to each other, him with his Alien Blast and me with my bowl of ice cream. That is, until he asks for a refill. That’s when I get up and make it and then we sit back down to our silence. All but the squeaking of our stools as we twist around and the spoons clinking against the glass and bowl and the low hum of the freezer in back are the only noise. That is, until he goes…

“Can I have another one, please?”

Put my bowl down. “Max, that’s your third refill. What gives?”

“I just… really… want… some more.” I think the look of disbelief I give him tells him that I don’t believe his bullshit. “Fine. I just… I don’t want to leave yet.”

Oh. I get it. “I see what’s going on.”

“Do you?”

Yes, I do, Mr. Helpful. “Look, just because Alex isn’t here right now, doesn’t mean that you have to take his place as big brother and watch after me.”

“But… who else will?”

“I’m capable of taking care of myself. Thank you very much.” I don’t need someone to watch me. I don’t need anyone.

“Just promise me something, Liz.”

Oh God. He’s going to start getting sentimental and crap. “What?”

“If you ever need me… for anything, you’ll tell me.”

Ugh… I don’t need this. I don’t need anyone. “Max…”

“No, Liz. Look, I’ll admit, the whole thing in the chemistry room was a bad decision on my part.” Damn straight it was, buddy. “But just… if there’s anything I can do, let me know.”

“There’s nothing you can do, Max.”

“I can do anything.”

Max is completely full of himself. I bet he thinks he’s what makes the world go ‘round. “Oh, really?”

“Yes.”

“Make Alex better.” Because that’s what I want. I want my smiling, happy Alex back. Not a pale Alex who is strapped to a bed with tubes.

“Alex will get better. But this isn’t about Alex. This is about you. What do you want?”

There’s so much that I want, but “There’s nothing you can do, Max.”

“Come on, Liz. Give me something I can work with here. I’m a macho man. Thus, I have unexplainable urges to fix things.” He flexes his muscles and I laugh.

I look up at him and he’s looking at me. “You have a beautiful smile. You shouldn’t hide it.”

“It’s one of the many things I hide.” Look away and go back to my bowl of melted ice cream. It suddenly got a lot hotter in here.

“Like this?” He grabs my hand. I want to jerk back, but I don’t. I let him take my wrist and push my sleeve up before I pull my hand away.

Smile awkwardly. “It’ll heal. Physical pain heals naturally. It’s just a temporary tribulation that will go away.” Plaster on the fake smile.

“Sure,” my stool then slowly begins to turn until he has me facing him, “on the outside. But what about on the inside?”

And do I dare? Do I clue him in on the little thoughts that run rampant in my mind? “That part’s permanent. I’m a crazy and messed up person, Max. That can’t be fixed.”

I watch him blink a few times. “You aren’t crazy or messed up.”

I laugh. It’s feeling really awkward and hot, and I laugh to ease the tension. Or at least, I think I do. But I have a feeling that I laugh so that I stay distant. Because I know that this is leading to something, some kind of big stepping-stone for me. I’m just not sure if I’m ready. But laughter dies and smiles fade. And in the end, I’m still crazy. “I wouldn’t be if I could just make it disappear. Make my problems just go away.”

“You can’t just wish everything away, Liz. You have to work at it. You have to heal yourself.”

That’s easier said than done, Max. Because… “what if I can’t? What then?” And that’s when you hit raw. That’s when you tell the truth. And the truth is, I’m scared. Scared that it won’t get any better than this. That I’ll never get any better than this. And that’s when the tears come. And they do. And I duck my head and stare at my lap.

A hand covers mine and I look up at him. “Then I’m here to help you.”

Narrow my eyes and just stare at him. “Why?”

“Why what?” He looks confused.

“Why are you doing this?” What’s in it for him?

God, his words, the look he gives me. “You know why.”

Do I? Because I don’t think I do. “Tell me.”

There’s a pause and he’s suddenly sitting closer to me, my hand in his. “Because you need me.”

Look up at him. “Do I?”

“Do you?”

I shrug and bite my lip. “You tell me.”

He shakes his head softly and continues to whisper. “I can’t choose for you, Liz. That’s something you have to decide.”

But I shake my head. “Why can’t you choose for me?”

“Because it’s your decision, Liz.”

“But I need someone to choose for me, someone to think for me, someone to tell me what to do. I need some control in my life, Max. And I can’t…” I’m gripping his hand now and leaning into him. I think I’m starting to get desperate. I think I want this. I think I need him. “I can’t do this on my own.”

“No one’s asking you to.” Fingers go through my hair and wipe at my cheeks.

But it’s useless, because the tears come. And they don’t stop. “God… I just want to be sane.”

“What’s making you not sane?”

“This,” claw and rip at my sleeve. “It’s driving me crazy. And I just want it to go away.”

“Okay.” I feel his thumb wipe at my cheek a few more times before he pulls his hands away. I look up at him. “I can make it go away.”

And I just stare. What does he mean?

Watch him sigh. Watch him lift up my wrist and place it on the counter, rolling my sleeve back. “What are you doing, Max?”

“Sh…” he smiles. “We’re going to try to make it disappear.”

Instead of writing him off as a complete loony, I decide to humor him. “Like magic?”

He nods. “Something like that, yes.”

And I have to laugh. “Are you going to pull a rabbit out of a hat next?”

“Hey. Healing is a craft. Don’t poke fun.” He waves a finger at me.

But I can’t help but smile. It feels good to smile. It really does. “Healing? What? With potions and what not?”

Pause while he stares at me. “Exactly. So I’ll just gather a few things.” And he grabs my bowl of melted ice cream and goes behind the counter.

Gather? “I’m sorry but we’re all out of eye of newt and toe of frog.”

“What did I say about poking fun?” He chides.

And I laugh. “Sorry. Couldn’t help myself. You kind of just set yourself up for it.”

“Yeah? Well, you won’t be laughing much longer.” He sits back down with the bowl, which is now a mixture of melted ice cream, sugar, and what not. “I am going to have you awed and amazed. So much that you’ll be on your hands and knees with gratitude.”

“Oh, really?”

“Of course. Now that we’re all set. We’ll just have to warm you up a bit.” He takes my hand, and I let him, while he runs his hand up and down my wrist. “Does this hurt?”

Shake my head. “No.”

He gives me this kind of lopsided smile and then lays my hand on the counter, over a napkin. Then spoons this mushy junk onto my wrist.

And I stare at it with a smirk on my face. “Awe and amazed, huh? It didn’t work.”

“Because we’re not done yet. You have to say the magic words. He places his hand over my wrist and starts rubbing the gooeyness into my skin. It feels yucky. “You may feel a slight tingling from the pressure. Okay?”

Nod my head. “Okay.”

“Close your eyes. Take deep breaths and repeat after me. Max Evans…”

“Max Evans…”

“… is a god.”

Roll my eyes. “You wish.”

“Liz…” He’s starting to whine. “You have to say the line.”

“Fine.” Sigh. “Max Evans is a gawd.”

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Open my eyes and smile at him. “Excruciatingly difficult on my part, but I hide it well.” Was that me? Was I… flirting?

“Keep your eyes closed, Liz. Repeat, ‘And I will be forever and eternally indebted to him…’”

“Great. It’s like I’m selling my soul to the devil.”

“Hey,” he tries to sound offended, but I can hear the laughter in his voice. “I never said that I was the devil. I am, however, devilishly handsome, but not the devil.”

Roll my eyes. “Hardy har, har.” Sigh. “Max Evans is a god and I will be forever indebted to him.”

I feel somewhat of a tickly, stinging kind of feeling. But I can’t decide if it’s from Max rubbing my wrist, or the gooeyness entering my wound. Maybe it’s both.

He wipes at my wrist with a napkin, and I open my eyes to see a smiling Max. “See? It worked.”

Stare down at my wrist. And it looks… smaller. The line across my wrist a lot thinner, and the skin somewhat closing up. “Oh my God, Max. It… how… wow. This is incredible. This really works.”

He’s smiling. Probably happy with himself. “Sh… it’s a secret. This’ll stay between me and you, okay?”

“How, Max?”

“I can’t tell you. It’s a secret. If I did tell you, you wouldn’t need me anymore, now would you? And we can’t have that, now can we?” He winks.

He’s kidding with me, but I just can’t get over what happened. Glance down at him, his hand. “If this really works, then what about your hand? It looks pretty bad.” I reach for his hand and examine the scrapes.

“It’s nothing. Just a scratch.”

Place his hand on the napkin and spoon some of Max’s magic potion onto the scrapes. “Close your eyes, take deep breaths, and repeat after me.”

“Give it up, Parker. It’s not going to work.” He tries to pull his hand back, but I hold tight.

“Then just humor me. Now repeat. Liz Parker…”

Watch him close his eyes. “Liz Parker…”

“… is the most beautiful in all the land…”

“… is the most beautiful in all the land.”

Hold my breath while he says it. Even with his eyes closed. Even under these circumstances. The way he said it… it’s just…

Sigh. Take another napkin and wipe off his knuckles. And frown. “It didn’t work.”

“But it did.” Look up at him. “I feel a lot better now. All over.”

Stare at him. Smile. And Yawn.

“Tired?”

I nod.

“I should get going then. It’s late.” He gets off of his stool and starts walking towards the door.

“Wait… Max…” Stand up from my stool.

“Yeah?” He’s facing me again.

You know how some things just stick in your head and you just need to get them out and answered or you’re going to think about them forever and ever and you’ll never be able to sleep another wink again because it’s stuck on your mind? This is one of them. “Did you mean it, what you said to me earlier?”

Pause while he just stares at me, his voice soft. “What did I say?”

That I’m beautiful. That you love me. “That… I can talk to you.”

“Any time, Liz. About anything. Just give me a call. I don’t care if it’s three in the morning and you just can’t sleep. You can call me up and I can sing you to sleep. Or I can come over and we can just talk or whatever.”

“Okay.” Nod my head.

“Okay.” There’s a pause where both of us are standing there awkwardly. “So… I should get going.”

“Yeah.” Walk him to the door and he steps out. “Max…” I step outside too.

“Yeah?” He’s facing me, a smile on his face.

“I… um…” sigh. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

Shrug and shake my head, smiling. “I don’t know. It just felt appropriate.”

“You’re welcome, Liz. And sweet dreams.”

I watch him climb into his jeep before I step back inside and lock the door. And I watch him drive down the street before I turn off the light and head upstairs.

“Sweet dreams, Max.”



-------------------------------------------------


So… that’s it. Tell me what you think. Feedback would be really nice. Lengthy feedback would be really, really nice.


[ edited 1 time(s), last at 22-Jul-2002 1:33:35 PM ]
posted on 21-Jul-2002 10:02:10 PM by LiLEvEe



[ edited 1 time(s), last at 21-Jul-2002 10:04:23 PM ]
posted on 21-Jul-2002 11:40:50 PM by LiLEvEe
Wow. Look. I have a hundred pages now. Isn't it cool?? This is also a shameless bump. Thank you to those who read. Tell me what you think. THANK YOU!!!



Evelynn




posted on 22-Jul-2002 12:33:24 AM by LiLEvEe
Can I get anymore feedback before I go to bed? Please? One nice lengthy one? PLEASE??? Oh, and... um... shameless bump for me.



...No replies then... It took me too long getting the update out, huh? Figures. Well, good night all. And that you for your lovely feedback. THANK YOU.



Evelynn







[ edited 1 time(s), last at 22-Jul-2002 12:54:29 AM ]
posted on 22-Jul-2002 6:37:49 PM by LiLEvEe
So... I was like... hmm... I want more feedback. But how do I get more feeback? Hmm... I know. When do I get a bunches of feedback? WHen I put out a new part. That, or when I decide to stop writing. But we've already gotten over that phase and decided against it. So... anyone up for another part?? Say "I"!!



Evelynn






posted on 24-Jul-2002 12:37:42 AM by LiLEvEe
So... I made a little table of contents kind of thing on the first page. Did anyone notice? It took me forever to find all of the parts. And there is a huge eighteen page gap between chapter fourteen and fifteen. But that was do to my phase of 'I refuse to write anymore'. But we're over that. We really are. Sure. I'm just checking in since people said before that I should check in every once in a while so you know that I'm not dead. I'm not. Okay.

Thank you everyone for their wonderful feedback. And thank you everyone who ranked the story. I'm a five. I feel special. I feel loved. And that's always good. Thank you!!!



Evelynn






posted on 27-Jul-2002 8:40:54 PM by LiLEvEe
I will tell you what. Since I'm feeling somewhat generous, If I can get one more page of feedback, I'll work on getting the next part out. I was going to wait for two more weeks, but I think I'll ignore my economics test and my government test and work on the next chapter. Is that a fair deal to you? Add in Kara's wager to it as well, of course!! *big* What do you say??


Evelynn






posted on 30-Jul-2002 1:49:09 AM by LiLEvEe
AUTHOR'S NOTE


Okay... small note. I said that I would work on the next part of this story. But I have decided to postpone it and have spent the last few days editing chapters of ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE. I'm going through and editing all of the chapters and once I reach the end, I plan on writing the final chapters and then I will be done with it, finally. Thank goodness. Done with my first fanfic, isn't it great? Well, right now I'm up to chapter 35 in the editing and there are 51 chapters so far. I think I'm going to be adding two more chapters to end the story and I will be done with it. YAY!! Haha.... oh happy days. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And then I will be free to work on this story. Actually, what I plan on doing is going back and editing these chapters as well and then getting a new part out. There's still a lot to go through in this story but I'm going to try to speed through it as quickly as possible with something significant happening in each chapter and not having fluff chapters like I did in the beginning. We are going to work our way through everything. And I will tell you right now, I do not see the claiming thing clearing up in this story. But that's what the whole Max POV is for right? Okay, so I want to start a new story. I have these ideas, but I don't want to start it because then I will go to ignoring one fic and working on the other. I want to finish this story before I start on another. Well, actually, I'm going to try to finish ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE and then edit and work on THE DENIAL GAME and then I think it will be really easy for me to get parts out for THE LAYER #$%⊕. Because I went through and typed up a few of the scenes already and they were pretty easy to do since the dialogue and actions were pretty much done. All I had to fill in was Max's thoughts on everything. So I'm hoping to whiz through that story. And I want to go through and rewrite HARVEST MOON and start that story back up and then I'm going to start on some of my new ideas for fics. I'll tell you right now, I'm really in to period fics. They just facinate me so. Greek mythology and then medieval times and those such things. They are just simply fascinating. So I'm excited. I hope I can keep my audience though. I'm really hoping so. Like when I started this story, I had some readers from ATC check it out. But this story isn't really like ATC except you can find crossovers from my wording and such. But I'm really hoping to keep a bunch of readers. cough::Kara::cough... Have you noticed how I lost a good deal of readers already? Big ones to mention are Eraser Room and Kitcat26. I don't think they notice that I note that they aren't here, but I do. Okay.... so.... I just wanted to get that out in the open. La da da.... blah, blah, blah.... yackety, yacket. So... this note didn't quite turn out small. But, it lets you know where I am in fic-dom.

In real life, for anyone who is interested, I have a Economics exam on wednesday and a Government exam on Thursday and I have an audition for a music video tomorrow. So wish me luck. College classes end on August 12th and high school starts back up on August 14th. And the school district has changed the school time so that school now starts at 7:35 instead of 8:10, like I'm used to. Oh joy. And I'm going to be taking 'zero' hour classes and so my school day is going to start at 6:25. Oh joy. Life just blows doesn't it? And I haven't studied for any tests, haven't done my summer reading, and having studie dofr a psychology exam I have at the beginning of the school year. Oh joy. And yet I'm really, really excited about my fanfics. Oh joy. Boy howdy. All right, it's almost one in the morning and I have classes at 8:00 in the morning. College, oh joy... hehe....



Evelynn






posted on 31-Jul-2002 5:42:01 PM by LiLEvEe
I did not get a part in the music video I auditioned for. I am bummed beyond belief. I will now go into my hole and rot. See you in a couple of months. And now I have a test to study for. Ain't life just grand??



Evelynn






posted on 2-Aug-2002 3:52:05 AM by LiLEvEe
Thank you for your wise words of wisdom, Kara. I will NOT take the rejection personally. I simply did not have the correct LOOK they wanted. It was not an insult on my acting abilities. Of course not, because it was for a music video EXTRA. And there was not reading, simply slating you for your look. That was all. I can still ACT, damn it.

Now that that is out and over with.

UPDATE: I am now up to chapter forty-six on my editing of ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE. That means I am close to finishing. I will possibly be done this weekend with that story and then I can refocus on this one. Doesn't that make everyone happy? Yay!! And then I'm going to work on a summary for ATC so that Destinee will make me a banner if she can find spare time. Yay!! And then I'll put it up on a website where I can flaunt my stories if I can find time to work on it. Yay!!

I got a C on my economics test. 75. I was bummed because I thought I did well. But that's okay because I made an A on my first test so they average each other out. So now I am only allowed to miss 6 out of 80 questions on my final exam and still make an A. Yay!!

And I need to do my summer reading before good old high school starts back up. Yay!!
Sorry, It's almost three in the morning here in Texas and I don't know what I am doing still up, just editing my story. I cut so many parts out of ATC, it's ridiculous. I'm rereading it and editing and I'm like "Oh, my god. What the hell was I thinking. What kind of sappy freaking retarded part was that?" So basically the entire story is ending up on the cutting room floor. And hey, I'm only up to chapter 46 so far. Just wait until I near the end. So I ought to go. Sleep deprevation is not a good thing. So...

ALOHA!!




Evelynn






posted on 4-Aug-2002 1:56:05 AM by LiLEvEe
STORY UPDATE: I have completed editing ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE and have added a new chapter. I hope to have the next chapter, which will be the final chapter done soon, meaning tomorrow and I will have that story completed and done with. And I will then turn my focus back on this story. I decided that I will not be editing this story quite yet. I will be waiting for when I am near the end to edit. Because you don't know what parts you are going to keep and what parts you need until you reach the end. I learned that by editing ATC. I cut out and got rid of so many parts that it is ridiculous.

SCHOOL UPDATE: Now, on a school update. College ends on the 12th of August and high school starts on the 14th. I plan on trying to put out as many parts as I can manage of this story before then. That gives me a little over a week. Let's hope I get at least two more parts of this story out. But not until I finish ATC, which will be tomorrow, hopefully. Wow. So many things to do and so little time.

ACTING UPDATE: I am no longer bummed about that audition. Auditions will come and go. I will jsut give off a more enthusiastic "essence" the next time. In the mean time, I will just continue working on my acting skills. And why I am no longer bummed, my acting coach was talking to this director/producer person and then I came walking in and he said that if she ever needed a person to play any teen roles to keep me in mind and she asked me for my name and said that she would. And her husband is conjuring up a 'knowledge'-esque show that my acting coach says that he wanted me to be a part of the main cast because I am smart. And that one of the directors from this other audition I went to really liked me but I was too young and he wants to keep me in mind to use me for something else. So I will keep smiling!!

What other types of updates are there? I suppose that's all for now. THANK YOU EVERYONE for your time and patience!!!!



Evelynn






posted on 4-Aug-2002 6:29:17 PM by LiLEvEe
I am done with ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE. Aren't you happy? I am happy. Very happy. My first fanfic, all done with. And now, as promised, I will be refocusing back on this story, THE DENIAL GAME. Right after I return from church, do my chores, clean my room, and reread back to where I last left our heros!!! OFF I GO!!!



Evelynn






posted on 7-Aug-2002 10:26:08 PM by LiLEvEe



-note-



My apologies on not getting an update out yet. But I have just started a job and am spending every spare hour I have at work. But I don't work on Sundays and on Saturday nights so I will try to get a part out then. Again, I apologize. But then, I did get to go through and edit Harvest Moon and I do hope to start that one back up. Oh well.



Evelynn






posted on 8-Aug-2002 12:23:41 AM by LiLEvEe
Another quick note before I go study for my final for my government class for tomorrow, my dog seems to have gone astray, and so I will need to redo my signatures and I guess I'll be taking the Accept the Challenge link off of it as well. And replace it with another story. I know I really shouldn't but I think I'm going to go ahead and get the prologue or the first part out for the new story that's stuck in my head. I know I should be working on this, but it's really bugging me and it's not letting me move on. Oh, and I got the nerve to let my cousin read this story and she liked it and thought that I was a good writer. I felt special. I dunno, it's weird when people who actually know you read your work. It's hard to not associate the narrator with the author. Or at least that's my opinion. She thought that this was a good enough story that if I went through and made some major editing and changed the charactor names and changed a lot of the Roswell type things, I could try to sell it. I felt special. I want to get a new part for Harvest Moon out before I get a new part for this story out. Why? Because Harvest Moon averages chapters at 5 pages each chapter. This story averages chapters at 14 pages per chapter. That's why. So, wish me luck on my final. And since I have my sister's laptop, I will be working on the parts during work tomorrow, but I just won't have internet access... yet. But hopefully, I will soon. Adios. Off to cram last minute.



Evelynn






posted on 16-Aug-2002 3:37:40 PM by LiLEvEe


-note-




I’m sorry that I haven’t really checked in lately. Wait, I have. I’ve gone through and checked for feedback all the time. I just haven’t had a part out. I have half a part for Harvest Moon done but it’s on my sister’s laptop. But I haven’t had time to work on The Denial Game. And now that school has started back up this week and I have work now, I don’t really have time to work on it. But hopefully, when things start settling down, I can get more time to work on it, because it has been awhile, which I believe everyone will agree with me with that. So… I have work in half and hour and I still have yet to eat today. So I should go do that. And then start on my homework. So… Maybe I’ll be able to work on something on Sunday since I don’t work on Sunday and school homework, I’ll try to have it done on Saturday. So maybe…

Well, thanks for all of the feedback and all of the encouragement. I have to go eat now. Hungry. Adios!! THANKS!!!

Oh, check out the banner Destinee (Sherry) made for me for Accept the Challenge. It’s nifty. I love the little Kyle, he looks so cute. Thanks.


Evelynn

posted on 18-Aug-2002 3:33:11 PM by LiLEvEe



-note-



So I haven’t really been around, but here’s the low down/update/excuses for my stories:

ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE: Hah! I don’t have any update for this story because I’m done with it. Hehehe!!! It feels awesome to actually have one completed. God, you have no idea how happy I am that I have one story done and in the bag. And Destinee ((Sherry)) made me a banner for it. And it is pretty awesome so check it out. I think I’m going to have to bother her again at a later date for banners for my other stories, maybe.

THE DENIAL GAME: I have nothing. I honestly do not have a thing for this story. Well, that’s a lie. I have how I want to start the next chapter but not sure of what it will be like. I know what I want, but I can’t put it down. Does that make any sense? I have other future scenes to this story written, but it’s hard to fill in the gaps and/or find bridges to connect them. It’s hard to get the characters transitioned from one situation to another without screwing up anywhere in between. But believe me, I do want to get another part out. It’s not that I don’t want it, it’s that I don’t know how. And I have so many people emailing me and new readers telling me that they want new parts, but it’s hard because I don’t know how to get another part out. I hate that I only get a new part out once a month too, but that has just been how long it’s been taking for the story to want to move forward. Ahh!!! It’s frustrating.

HARVEST MOON: I know I’ve really been neglecting this story with my focus being more on The Denial Game and Accept the Challenge since I started this story. But I am starting it again. I actually do have the next part of this story, chapter seven, halfway done. And I’ve had it for about a week now. But the problem is, is that the part is typed up on my sister’s laptop. And my sister loaned her laptop out to someone and now I can’t get that part from it. And I have tried to rewrite it. But I haven’t been able to reconstruct it. I don’t remember what I wrote. And since this story is so slow paced and layed back, I don’t think I will remember. And I would just finish up the second half of the chapter and wait for my sister to get her laptop back and then just connect the pieces and post it, but I can’t remember what happened or where I even left it off at. So I don’t know what to do. But I do want to get a part to this out even before I get a new part to The Denial Game out. And I want this storyline to move along, but I can’t. It’s very upsetting.

FAIRY DREAMS: My new story. I know some may be upset that I have started a new story, but I couldn’t help it. I was starting to try to reconstruct a chapter to Harvest Moon and this came out of it. And I have a pretty clear idea as to where I want this to go. And I know that I said that three stories is too much for me to handle, and it is, but I just feel more comfortable to have three stories there to lean on. So if I get blocked and can’t think up a part for The Denial Game or for Harvest Moon, I can always turn to this one. Just like when I had Accept the Challenge. But now Accept the Challenge is done and over with, I had to create another one. And I have to redo my signature thingy. I think I’m going to get rid of my ATC link and add Fairy Dreams on there. And I have to find a new line graphic because my dog went haywire. So. I have homework and school to deal with right now, but I am going to try to get part one out for this story. Because the prologue is very confusing and leaves people with nothing. But that’s how all of my stories seem to be, huh? And since I’m blocked on TDG and HM, I’ll probably work on this one when I have spare time. Which, doesn’t look like I will be having any this week. My week is packed.

THE LAYER #$⊕%: This is the Max POV to The Denial Game. I actually do have the Max companion to chapter fourteen written and part of chapter one and part of the prologue. But I will be waiting until I get two chapters away from completing TDG to release it. But I still plan on writing this story though. I think I have to. It will make TDG kind of incomplete if I don’t. But this is my plan for it: I will try my best to get through TDG the best I can. And I will complete The Denial Game up to two chapters away, meaning I will be leaving the story incomplete of the last two chapters. And then I will be starting The Layer #$⊕%. And I when I reach the last two chapters, I will post those two chapters simultaneously because I don’t want to give the ending away in the Denial Game because then you won’t be surprised in The Layer #$⊕%. And the reason why I have the #$⊕% is because I don’t want to give that word away because it will give some of the story away. Or at least I think it will. Anyway…


And that is it. That is my story rank of priorities, excluding Accept the Challenge, because that one is completed and done with. So my story priority is:

-The Denial Game
-Harvest Moon
-Fairy Dreams
-The Layer #$⊕%

I hope that’s fine with everyone. I think people like The Denial Game the best anyway since that is the story that I receive the most feedback for per chapters. I’ve noticed that. On my table of contents for the story at the front of the story, the gaps between the story pages are increasing a great deal. Okay, that’s just something I’ve noticed. That’s all I have to say I think. Hmm…

Oh, this is the note I’m leaving on every story so you don’t have to go through and look at each and hopefully, you’ll catch one of them.


THANK YOU everyone for your patience and for reading and for sticking with me. I will try my best to update for you all. THANK YOU AGAIN. I really, really appreciate all of the support that you give me, even though I’ve been really lacking in the updates and things. THANK YOU!!!



Evelynn





Accept The Challenge
The Denial Game
Harvest Moon
Fairy Dreams


posted on 22-Aug-2002 9:59:33 PM by LiLEvEe



-note-



Haha!! Triumph! Die writer's block, die. I've got my creative juices flowing and have started up chapter sixteen. And I think I know where I want to go with this chapter. Though, I still want to hear your input, Kara. By the looks of how school is going, taking into consideration how many hours I have to work, how many test are coming up, organization meetings, and such things, I would say hope for the part in a week, give or take. I hope that's okay. I know it'll be almost a month, but I'm trying.

Oh, and if you haven't checked out Fixius's fic, HOLLOW, do so. It's good. It's the same genre as this story. Leave her feedback and she'll be happy. And a happy Fixius is a generous one. Generosity leads to new parts. Doesn't it everyone? Nod your heads. Yes, it does. Feedback, it does an ego good.

Thank you all for reading, for your support, and for your lovely bumps and comments. I hope to return to you soon.



Evelynn









posted on 2-Sep-2002 5:52:12 PM by LiLEvEe



-note-


Okay, I know I'm pretty evil with my lack of updates and all, I'm just so not sure where it is I want this story to go next. And have I told you about my computer thing? How it isn't with me and is actually being fixed down in Houston, which is five hours away from where I am. And all of my unconnected parts and chapters are with it, possibly lost forever? Yeah, well that's what happened. But I do have my brother's computer. That's how I've been getting new parts out and how I've been keeping up with stories. But my brother doesn't like having me in his room in the wee hours of the night, which is when I do a lot of my writing and posting. So I have been trying. And sadly, I've somewhat forced a part out for this story and it's going to be very bad and stupid. And I have seven pages for it already. And I'm thinking about fifteen pages whe I get done. But it may take a while since I now work and all. But I am trying and I haven't just completely forgotten about this story, for those of you who thought I had. And obviously, I'm not dead. Thank you everyone and I hope to have an update soon.

FIC RECOMMENDATION: TERMS by Caitquel. Really good story, though she hasn't updated in a while, but it's still good, nonetheless. And here's to hoping there's an update soon. So check the story out and say Evelynn sent you.

And if you haven't, also check out Fixius's HOLLOW and COMPLEXITY, tell her Evelynn sent you.

All are really good stories, or else I wouldn't recommend them. So off I go. Oh, and happy Labor Day to all.



Evelynn









posted on 23-Sep-2002 9:09:50 PM by LiLEvEe



-note-



I am so terribly sorry. I know I really haven't been keeping up with my quota of new parts. And I'm terribly sorry. Good news is that I do have a computer in my possession now. It's a temporary computer that my uncle sent up for me to get by with until he can fix mine. IF he can fix mine. But the bad news is that my parts to The Denial Game and its companion Max POV is this on the broken computer. And my part to Harvest Moon is still on my sister's laptop, which she loaned out and has still not gotten back yet. I don't want to get another part out for Fairy Dreams until a while. I need the story to develop more in my head. And those are all of the stories that I have. I truly do want to get a new part out, and soon. But this week is homecoming week and also the last week of the six weeks. Which means that I am booked completely with things to do. And I have to go see Sweet Home Alabama on Friday. I have a car wash this saturday, but I'm hoping to be able to work on something afterwards and on Sunday. If I can't get out something for The Denial Game, I'm hoping to at least get something out for Fairy Dreams. So... thank you for putting up with me and thank you for being so patient.


-Evelynn



posted on 7-Oct-2002 10:56:03 PM by LiLEvEe
I still haven't gotten my computer back yet. Though my uncle has just started working on fixing it yesterday. And my temporary computer won't connect to the internet anymore. But I do have my sister's laptop back and so I can use that now. I haven't been able to work on any of my stories. I haven't had the time and I've been rather lazy. I think I should just take one huge break from all of the writing. Yeah, I know what your thinking, it's been like two months since I've put out a part, isn't that long enough of a break already? Well, it's not. It's so not long enough.

Thanks a bunch.



-Evelynn.
posted on 18-Oct-2002 5:06:18 PM by LiLEvEe



-note-



Guess what!! I started writing the next chapter yesterday, so I'm going to try to get it done today. I was going to put out a new part for Harvest Moon, but I think I'm going to put out a new part for this story first. Thanks.


Evelynn


posted on 20-Oct-2002 7:22:19 PM by LiLEvEe
I will apologize ahead of time right now. This next part isn’t as long as some of my last updates. And it also does not accomplish a lot. And it make get people more confused. It confuses myself as well. So… on with the show. Again, feedback is very very welcomed. Feedback helps. It really does. It makes me remember that I have a story and that I have to update that story every once in a while. Is that a threat? Could be. No, I’m kidding. It’s just nice to know what people think some times. And I warn you now, I’m not exactly proud of this next part. I haven’t really proof read because I wanted to get it out ASAP. So I might have to go back and make corrections. But this is what I have so far…






-------------------------------------------------


Chapter Sixteen



“Elizabeth,” she stays looking out the window, but she knows I’m listening, sitting at the table behind her. “Sometimes, for some people, there is more to life. Sometimes, there is a greater purpose. Do you understand?”

I just look up at her strangely. “Mommy, what are you talking about?”

“Don’t bring her into that.” Turn around and there’s daddy.

“Hi, daddy.” Wave to him, but he doesn’t even look at me. He’s staring over at her with that mad look.

She turns to him. “Hank, I think-”

“I don’t care! Why can’t you just leave it alone?”

“Daddy?”

She stands up, stepping toward him. “Leave it alone? How can I when-”

“I don’t want to hear it!”

“Mommy?”

He finally looks at me. “Lizzie, honeybear, go up to your room.”

“But-”

“Now.” He points to the stairs.

“But-”

He lets out a deep breath, hand on his forehead like when he’s frustrated. “Liz, will you just…



…wake up?”

What… the… hell…?

Eyes wide and she’s hovering closely above, shaking the hell out of me.

“Maria! What are you…. What are you doing? Stop sh-shaking me.”

“Well, I’m sorry,” she finally lets go and gets off the bed, “but if I didn’t wake you up soon, we’ll be late for school.”

Glance at the clock and it’s seven thirty three. Well, golly gee, she’s right. Pull the covers back over me and lay down in bed. “What are you doing in my room?”

“I’m here to take you to school.” The covers are ripped back from me.

What? But Alex takes me to… Oh… yeah… “I don’t need you to take me to school.”

“Sorry, babe. But I’ve been given strict orders to escort you to school.” She pushes clothes into my hands and shoves me into my bathroom. “Now get dressed.”


--------------


We rode to school is silence. Though I thrive in silence, this one bothered me. It truly did. Maria looked as though she were concentrating a little too hard on driving. And I continued to just stare out the window the entire ride.

It was gray and gloomy outside. Clouds blanketing every inch of the sky, blocking out the sun, the heat, and the warmth. Not that I would have felt it otherwise. I was already cold.

But she parks her car, I get out and we start towards the building. And I’m about to enter the building when she stops me.

“Mom told me to give you this.” She hands me an envelope and proceeds into the building, leaving me standing outside.

Glance the letter over and it has “Elizabeth” written in nice, formal like penmanship. And inside.

The paperwork is finalized and you are to relocate into E. Harding’s new residence as of next week.
J. Ramirez


Don’t you just love it when you can already tell that the day is going to be a killer to get through?


--------------


First period was a bore. I would have slept through the entire class if I wasn’t busy copying down notes for Alex.

Second period was a bore. I got Alex his homework and finished mine, so that he could copy it, like he always did.

Third period was even more of a bore.

And all this time, you’re probably wondering, where is Max in all of this? Well, I dodged and avoided and ran away from him the best I could. Why? Because of my terrible fear of confrontations. So I avoid them like the plague.

So come fourth period, I didn’t even show up for class.

Did you know that it’s very dusty in the eraser room? It really is. And it’s hard to imagine how people can lock lips in here and not suffocate to death. But when you are kissing someone, do you even think about breathing? Hmm… how many times have I kissed a guy? Twice. How many guys have I kissed? One. Was I really thinking while I was kissing him? Not at all. I suppose that answers my question. I wonder if Max thinks the same?

“Liz,” the door suddenly opens. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

And me? I just sit there on the table in the small room and kick my legs some more. “Do you worry about breathing when you’re kissing someone?

He kind of just looks at me and I just smile back. “Um… no.”

“Hmm…” He looks a bit uneasy from the question. Poor, poor Max.

He clears his throat and slides his hands into his pockets nervously. “Why aren’t you in class?”

“The chalk fumes allured me into this abyss that has claimed so many private moments and inhabited so many fantasies, so many dreams.”

He shuffles his feet a bit. “You wanna make-out?”

And suddenly, I feel a bit uneasy. Laugh a little, duck my head, and deny it the best I can. “With you, Max? No.”

“Can I ask you something, Liz?” And suddenly, he’s right in front of me. His leg brushing up against my knee. And some of my coldness goes away.

Sigh and look up, my head still whirling. “No, Max, that dress does not make you look fat.”

He looks at me funny. “What dress?”

Sigh and look up, my head still whirling. “El gato come la mesa.”

“The cat eats the table?” He’s still looking at me funny.

Groan and pull my legs up, hugging them to me, leaning my head down. “My head is scrambled.”

“Let me see.” Fingertips trace softly along my jawbone, fingers through my hair.

And all there is, is warmth. The coldness ebbing away. And I’m pretty sure it has something to do with him. So what do I do? I push him away. “Max, you’re a little too close for comfort.”

But he doesn’t back off. He stays right where he is. “You didn’t sleep well.” I think he knows he’s making the coldness go away. Maybe I’m giving him warmth too.

So I slide off the table and put a distance between us. “No, I didn’t sleep that well.”

“Nightmare?” He takes a step closer.

And I back up. “No.”

And he stops. “Oh.” He knows I’m lying. How? I do not know. But he knows. He knows too much. And that part scares me.

So what do I do? I retreat. “I need to get to class.”

An arm stops me and he’s holding out something. “Here.”

“What’s this?” Take it and open it up.

“My number. So if you need to talk-”

“Max,” shake my head and look at him as though he’s crazy, “I’m not going to call you.”

He lets out a sigh. “If you need to talk to me, Liz. I’m-”

“I wouldn’t talk to you, Max.” I hold the paper up and let it drop. And we both watch as it floats to the ground, landing with a big thud that echoes through our ears. And we both just stare at it. I bet that one act symbolized way more than simply what it was. I bet that paper somehow stood for something greater than just a scribbled on piece of scrap.

Because when we he looked back up at me, there weren’t sweet whispers or shy smiles anymore. “You do realize that that whole thing that we had last night, really did happen, right?”

“Yeah.” Nod my head and look away, staring at the door. I should leave through it soon. These confined places just aren’t working for us. Me and Max, together, in the make-out spot of West Roswell High? “You realize that if someone walked in here, you and me both ditching class and ending up in the eraser room together isn’t really a pretty picture?

He steps closer and closer. “Do you realize that you ignoring me isn’t going to make me go away?”

And the fact that he really is breathing down my neck, angry look in his eyes, makes me a tad bit nervous. “I fully understand that concept.”

“Just making sure we’re on the same page here.”

And I bite back. “Oh, we are.” Hand on the doorknob, only to have him pull my hand back.

“Then what do you want from me?” He looks frustrated. He looks annoyed. And he looks a tad bit upset.

I am confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” he sighs and leans back against the door. I watch as he tries to gather his thoughts. “You trust me enough for me to know things about you. So you can trust me enough to tell me what’s wrong.”

And I scoff, shaking my head and go back over to the table and lean against it. “That’s just it. I don’t trust you enough.”

And I don’t look at him. I can’t look at him. But I know he’s staring at me. “Then what am I doing here?

Shake my head, shrug, and keep a cool indifferent smile on my face. “I don’t know, Max. What are you doing here?” I’m not looking at him. Or rather, I have the pretense of not looking at him. But I’m actually staring with the corner of my eye.

He straightens up from leaning against the door. “Why don’t you trust me?”

“Well…” shrug again. “You’ve never really given me reason to.”

“I’ve done plenty for you to.” He comes over to the table and I slide off toward the door.

“Have you?” I keep my same indifferent tone.

“Yeah,” he’s nodding and starting towards me again. “The wrist thing, and Pam, and Alex. And the whole Sean thing too.”

A hand comes up and runs through my hair, brushing against my cheek. My head starts spinning again. And I have to shove him away. “Look, would you just stay away from me?”

It just gets quiet after that. And I just keep my gaze towards the ground, too scared to look up. But when I do, he’s staring right back at me, mouth open. “Did we take a step back somewhere without me realizing it?”

“What?” I back up against the door a little more.

“Oh, it’s just that last night, you were actually talking to me. You were opening up to me, telling me things, showing emotions and letting me help you. And now, you’re going back to being this cold bitch.”

My head jerks up and I glare at him. “You know what? Fuck you.” Turn around and tear at the door.

“Liz. I didn’t mean it like that. Crap. I just-”

And I whip around and stare him down. “Stay the hell away from me.” Before I slam the door back in him face and walk away.


--------------


I stormed straight home, kicking and cursing the entire way there. Angry at him. Angry at the world. But more so angry with myself.

Drop my bag on the couch and head into the kitchen. I grab an orange and put it on the counter. Open up a drawer and pull out a knife. Close the drawer.

Hold the knife to the orange, and the light in the kitchen kind of gleams from it. I stop. And hold the knife up again, staring at the blade.

It would be so easy… so easy to just forget. A small price to pay for a moment of silence, a moment to stop from thinking, to stop from overanalyzing, from dwelling on petty tribulations.

Place my hand on the counter and hold the knife to it. Close my eyes and I run the blade slowly across, a smile on my face, and tears in my eyes.

Bring the blade across again… slowly. Again, and again, and again, until I feel it in my skin, stinging.

“Liz? You home?”

Drop the knife into the sink turn on the water, spinning around just in time to see Alex enter the kitchen.

Jerk my head up and stare forward, a smile instantly on my face. “ALEX!” Go over and wrap my arms around him.

“Whoa there…” he kind of winces.

“Oh, sorry.” I let go and back off. “Are you hurting?”

“Nope.” He smiles. “All better.”

“Wow. Yesterday you looked… awful. And now…” hug him again, but lightly this time. “I am so happy you’re home.”

He hugs me back. “Yeah. I’m happy to be home too.”

But he pulls back and looks at me, before he wipes at my eyes. “What’s wrong?”

I slump back, a frown on my face. “I don’t know. My head just… and all of this… there’s just so many unexplainable phenomenon and I just…” Glance at him again, staring him up and down. “Wow, you don’t have a scratch on you.’”

He kind of just chuckles and looks at me. “Are you okay, Liz? You’re babbling, dear. And you don’t babble.”

Groan and lean back against the counter. “I don’t know. My head just hurts.”

“Are you feeling okay?” he comes over and puts a hand on my forehead. “Do you need me to go get Max?”

“No.” I chuckle. Why I chuckle? I do not know. I simply chuckle. “Max is the last person I would like to see right now.”

“Why is that?”

Sigh. “You don’t want to know, Alex.”

“Why? Did he try something?” There Alex goes, being all protective-like again. It’s nice.

“Alex, the day that Max Evans starts paying more attention to me, is the day I slit my wrists and die.” And I walk out of the kitchen before he could comment. But the worst part of what I said, was that it was true. I knew that. And it shouldn’t bother me… but it does.


--------------


I went through my day like it was any other day. After all, it was just like any normal day. Alex is fine. Maria is still working the shift with me, a little bounce in her step, and me? I’m still as insane as ever. If not more so. Ha ha ha ha hah.

So when Max comes in, I ignore him, as I’ve done the rest of the day. He sat in my section, but I ignored him. All the way to the point where he tries to catch me while I’m walking to get another person their order. But me, being quick on my feet, put the plate down on the table and lock myself in the bathroom, where he can’t get me. Yeah, I’m slick.

I didn’t come out for about half an hour and he wasn’t in the diner anymore, the place was empty, and Maria closed up for the night and I go up to my room, having ignored Max the whole day.

So what do I do? I grab my PJ’s, change in the bathroom, and slip under the covers and just lie there, in my bed. The silence is deafening and I just lie, in my bed. It’s so quiet that I’m pretty sure I could hear the sounds of crickets from below, even though it’s the second story of the building. And the sound of a coyote howling from a gazillion miles away. Quiet.

I take a deep breath. Tears slide down my cheek, close my eyes, roll over, and try my best to sleep. After all, I shouldn’t care.


--------------


The sad part of it all was that, that was what my next couple of days consisted of. The saddest part was that is was minus Max.

The days were still gloomy and gray. And I buried myself deeper and deeper in my head. Obviously and blatantly depressed. And more alone than ever.

No more of his looks. No more smirks. No more stares. No more showing up at the Crashdown. And no more talks in the eraser room when I didn’t show up to classes. He never came to look for me. Didn’t bother.

There was no need to avoid him when he was obviously avoiding me.

Which is fine. Really. I was never his problem to deal with in the first place. Right?

He’s not supposed to know things about me. He’s not supposed to be around me, bothering me and wanting to know my thoughts. He’s not supposed to do almost anything, when he’s with me, just to make me smile... and I’m not supposed to care.

Drop the apple onto the counter and pull the knife out, closing the drawer. And automatically bring it to my wrist, pulling slowly across.

“Liz, are you okay?” He calls from the couch.

“I’m fine, Alex.” Rinse the knife and put it away.

He’s in the kitchen, leaning against the counter now. I don’t even look at him. “It’s just… you really haven’t been talking to me since I got back from the hospital. And you’ve been a little moody lately.” I still have yet to tell him about the move.

“I’m fine, Alex.” I grab the phone and hand him the apple on my way out of the kitchen.

Enter my room and lock the door, sitting slowly down on the bed, phone in hand.

Pull a small scrap of paper carefully out of my pocket, slowly dialing the numbers and waiting while it rings, once, twice, and someone picks up.

“Look, Pam. Would you stop calling me?!”

If I had been in my right state of mind, I probably would have said some kind of semi jealous, semi vengeful, yet witty and sarcastic comment. But in my right state of mind, I was not. “Max?”

His voice isn’t screeching and hollering anymore. It’s kind of soft. “Yeah.”

Deep breath, slump down on the bed and give in. “I need to talk.”



-------------------------------------------------










Comment, concerns?? Lengthy feedback is always welcome…






posted on 21-Oct-2002 12:27:55 AM by LiLEvEe






Thank you everyone for your feedback. When I have time, I’ll go through and reply back to everyone individually, but for now, I just wanted to say THANK YOU.

I just wanted to say now that I’m not quite sure when I’m going to update again. I was really happy that I got a part out. But I still haven’t gotten my computer with all of my typed out parts yet. And I really want to stay along those little guidelines and goals that I set for myself in the story parts that I already have. Problem is is that I don’t remember what I typed in those parts. Which is why I had them typed out, because I have a bad memory. So I’m really hoping my uncle can return it to me soon.

This last part felt really incomplete. It was just short and awkward and insignificant to me. But at least I updated. It took me three months, but I did it.

Did you know it got me fourteen pages of feedback? That is really good. I was looking at my little table of contents like thing that I have on page one and the spaces of pages of feedback inbetween are growing. I hope I can keep it up. It’s really nice.

And THANK YOU to Calinia for nominating me on the nomination board. I saw my story and was like… aww… that so sweet. I’m not sure if my story qualifies to be nominated yet though.

Hmm… well… I’m getting more lengthy feedback, which makes me happy. I’ll try to get a new part out soon.

Oh, and I have this problem. I cannot find my story HARVEST MOON. I wanted to update it but I can’t find it. So I don’t know. Maybe I’ll try to update FAIRY DREAMS, since I did kind of start it and put it out there. Hmm… maybe…

Well… I’m hoping for updates to (in no particular order):

- Hollow
- Complexity
- Same Old Life
- Core
- Prisoner of Love
- Back to the Drawing Board
- All In My Mind
- Terms
- My World
- Hushed
- China Doll

And that’s all that I can think of right now. I promise you that if all of these stories are updated, I will drop everything and get a new part out.

Hehe… note that having all of these updated before I get an update out is close to impossible since I listed Core down and Incognito just isn’t going to be updating that story any time soon, even through we’re all begging and praying for a part. Well, we can always dream.

Thank you everyone. I hope to get back to you soon.



LOVE,


Evelynn











posted on 27-Oct-2002 8:29:57 PM by LiLEvEe






-note-




Here’s what’s going on…

The Denial Game: I’ve started the next chapter for those of you who are interested. And I think if I work on it when I have free time, I’ll be done with it by maybe next week. So that is my goal of having it finished. Though, hopefully, I’ll have it done by then. And the only reason I’m working on it now and not waiting another month to work on it is because I’m taking up Fixius’s offer. Yes, that’s it. That is my excuse. So Fixius, get to working!!

Harvest Moon: I found the story. It is in the Conventional Couples section. I think I’m going to try to get it moved to the dreamer section since I like that section better. And it’s pretty much a ML story. Sadly, I have not finished the next chapter to it yet. I’ve been more focused on The Denial Game, which should make some of you happy.

Fairy Dreams: I will probably do to this story what I did to Harvest Moon when I was still writing Accept the Challenge. This story will be feeling neglected and alone until I finish one of the stories and it moves up in my ladder of importance.

The Layer #$&⊕: I still do not have my computer fixed. It is still miles and miles away at my uncle’s house. So I don’t have anything that I had typed for this story. If I cannot get my computer back, there will not be a Max POV because the parts that I had written for this story, I doubt I will ever be able to recreate. Sadly, my short term memory does not allow me to do such.



So there it is. I’m working on The Denial Game right now. So either a couple more pages of feedback or updates for Fixius’s COMPLEXITY or HOLLOW and I’ll be a happy camper.




Evelynn

posted on 27-Oct-2002 11:01:37 PM by LiLEvEe





Well, I'm crossing my fingers but if anyone can save my computer, it's my uncle. He's a computer geek who has made his "passion for computers" into his career. So he's very certified and very handy when it comes to computers. So far, he says he can save my memory but something or other about a password or something. The problem is, he isn't working on my computer right now. Right now, he's away on business in Maryland and I don't know when he'll be back. So lets hope he can fix it and I can get it back soon.




Evelynn



posted on 30-Oct-2002 10:27:35 PM by LiLEvEe


-note-


So, I know I promised next week. But I seemed to have overlooked the fact that next week is exam week for me. So maybe towards the end of next weekend. I hope everyone is okay with that.

And Fixius, babe, yea I am holding you to that promise. I am expecting updates for your stories. I’m really more interested in more parts to COMPLEXITY as opposed to HOLLOW. Not that I don’t love HOLLOW. I just enjoy reading Max’s side to things after having read Liz’s.

And as proof to Fixius, to somewhat entice readers, and to possibly receive more feedback, here is a small segment that is a possible slice from Chapter 17. I repeat, POSSIBLE, simply because I have a tendency to cut out and alter the hell out of chapters that I write before I finally post it. So here it is, my little somewhat of a teaser…




quote:


And it occurs to me that I don’t ask what he has in mind, what we’re going to do, or even where we are going. I just go. Down the dimly lit streets in the dead of night, I just walk there, beside him. Following blindly and letting him lead the way.

And I’m not sure whether it’s the fact that I gave him this control over me so effortlessly that scares me. Or that somewhere in my messed up mind, I knew I probably would follow him to the ends of the earth, just to walk beside him.

Freaky, creepy, and insane, I am.




So there it is… tell me what you think… any ideas of what might be going on? Interested in the next chapter yet? Am I winning back any readers at all? How’s my writing doing? Did you prefer it when I had extremely long chapters, like when I posted 16-17 page chapters as opposed to the 9 pages of the last chapter?

Questions, comments, concerns, suggestions? I am an open box.

Fixius, when you update, I promise to leave you a long ass feedback, but until then, I will hold back my comments ((in hopes that you want to know my thoughts so badly that you are forced to post a new part, preferably to COMPLEXITY)). Yes, I am evil like that. Hahahahahahaha…



LOVE,


Evelynn












[ edited 1 time(s), last at 30-Oct-2002 10:38:18 PM ]
posted on 30-Oct-2002 10:31:32 PM by LiLEvEe




Oh, and...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN everyone!!!





Evelynn




posted on 4-Nov-2002 10:26:29 PM by LiLEvEe



NOTE






Okay. So... quick little thing first. I'm sorry I don't have time to write anything big. And I would really, really like to comment on some of your feedback, but again, I repeat, I am a bit pressed for time. So just a really quick question...


Is it okay with everyone if I could possibly postpone the update date once again to next weekend instead of this weekend? I have several book reports that I have to do that I have no time for. Please?


Fixius, I'm still waiting for the updates, babe. Better hurry too. An impatient FANFIC addict is not a happy one.






LOVE,


Evelynn











posted on 10-Nov-2002 8:57:59 PM by LiLEvEe




-note-



Okay. So, I really don't have time and shouldn't be even on the board right now since I have three books for summer reading that is due tomorrow and I haven't even started. But I'm also at another writer's block somewhat. It's funny because I'm not really at a writer's block, but I would be at one if I could find time to write. So there. so my question is...


Where do you, as the readers, want the story to go?




Evelynn





posted on 10-Nov-2002 11:31:47 PM by LiLEvEe



One book down, two more to go. Wish me luck. Thank you for your replies. At least now I know what major issues and confusions that need to be addressed in the story... eventually. Thank you.



Evelynn





posted on 10-Nov-2002 11:39:41 PM by LiLEvEe







Hahahahahah!! Jump up and down and jump for joy. My uncle just sent up and I just received all of my files from my old computer. I will now forget the stupid summer reading, though I really do need to do it, and go through the files and see what all I have written.

I'll probably go back to reading once I check my files.





Evelynn





posted on 17-Nov-2002 9:05:01 PM by LiLEvEe




-note-



So… yea. I will tell you flat out, I DO NOT HAVE A NEW PART FOR THIS WEEK. Not that I haven’t been working on it, though. I assure you that I have been working on the next chapter. I haven’t been simply ignoring or putting it off altogether. Honest, I haven’t. In fact, I have two pages written for the next chapter and five pages for the chapter after that. Not to mention countless little scenes through out this story all the way to its end, and chapter fourteen and half of chapter fifteen in Max’s POV. So there. At least I have that much, right? But Lately I’ve been going through and rereading what little scenes that my uncle saved for me and trying to see where it is I was my story to go again.

But, I’ll have to admit that I have been off playing. Friday I went ice skating and Saturday, after work, I went to a movie, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

Now I will return to working on the next chapter to this before I give up and start doing my homework. And hopefully, Fixius is doing the same, because if she doesn’t get a part out by next week, don’t expect one from me. Well, you can, but just don’t be too excited about it.

I hope to get a part out before new week Sunday. And I have all of next week off for Thanksgiving break, so I hope to get more parts out by then too. Did you know I’ve been working on this story for ten months now? That’s pretty long isn’t it? I hope I get done before the year is over. And then it’ll be my second fanfiction that I’ve finished, right after Accept the Challenge, which, by the way, I am so proud of myself for finishing that story a while back. And then I’ll pick Harvest Moon back up. I might rewrite Fairy Dreams to have it in third person, but not yet sure. But I’ll probably work on the Max POV to this alongside Harvest Moon. But you know how that goes.



So… again, my list of stories I’m really looking for an update to:

Complexity by Fixius
Hollow by Fixius
Core by Incognito
Same Old Life by Kippy
All in my Mind by Mikyla
My World by Suli
Hushed by Ambrosia337
Terms by Caitquel
JOD by Comet
… and many more



LOVE,


Evelynn











posted on 26-Nov-2002 1:14:55 PM by LiLEvEe





I'm sorry. I really am. Work, school, and acting classes have me backed up right now. But I will have something out by Thanksgiving, thursday. And right now I have five pages for the next part, if that means anythign to any of you. Thank you for being patient.


Much love,

Evelynn





posted on 29-Nov-2002 2:42:36 AM by LiLEvEe




-note-



I again, will apologize for this new part ahead of time. It’s kind of retarded and not really at the quality of writing I want. And it doesn’t really cover much ground. But, hey, what can you do? Thank you for everyone who will read it anyway, despite my warning. Just give me five or so more minutes to proofread it a bit. Thank you. And I know I promised Thanksgiving, but I’m only a couple of hours short, right? Sorry.


LOVE,

Evelynn











posted on 29-Nov-2002 3:24:13 AM by LiLEvEe
-------------------------------------------------



Chapter Seventeen


It’s been two hundred and seventy seconds since I called him. Two hundred of which I’ve been sitting out on the balcony. Forty of which took me to get out onto the balcony. Thirty of which I spent on the phone. And three seconds since I first heard the sound of footsteps on the bottom step of the ladder. With him taking approximately one eighth of a second to take each step, means he has about twenty more steps to go before he reaches me. Am I being paranoid? Maybe just a little.

But it’s justifiable. How? Because I am weird like that. Odd and peculiar. And my strange self sits in the lounge chair with maybe twelve more seconds until he reaches me. And what is running through my head right now? I’m thinking that twelve seconds just might be enough time to slip back into my window and into my closet to hide before he makes it up here.

But I don’t. I sit and wait. Because no matter how much I deny it, I want to know what he has to say. I want to know what he’s going to do. And I want to know what he’s thinking right now, since our vague conversation just gave so much of it away…

I go: “I need to talk.”

He goes: “Liz?”

I go: “No.”

He goes: “What’s wrong?”

I go: “Nothing.”

He goes: “Do you want me to come over?”

I go: “No.”

He goes: “I’ll be right there.”

And his phone goes: Click.

Yeah. And now it brings us to the present, where, despite the darkness and the gloomy clouds that still cover the sky, I start to see hair, and then a handsome face, nice shoulders, arms, chest, and then the rest of him jump onto the roof. He straightens up, looks in my direction, and then starts towards me.
“Hey,” he kind of waves. He looks a bit nervous. Scared, maybe?

I wonder, if I stay really still, maybe he won’t notice that I’m here. Maybe if I close my eyes, I’ll disappear. You know? If I can’t see him, he can’t see me and whatnot. Oh, maybe, if I hold my breath…

Lounge chair shifts and there are gentle touches on my cheek, warm and tender.

“What’s wrong?” His voice is soft, soothing.

It’s amazing really. This is what I want; what I’ve needed. The warmth. Not just these last few couple of days, no. Since forever. And the most amazing part? I can’t take it. Not even when it’s offered to me with both hands open.

So what do I do? I move away.

“Liz?” His voice wavers and I open my eyes to give him a look.

He scoots away and I want to tell him to stop, that I need him to stay close, that I need his warmth. I can feel him now, just not enough. It’s still so cold.

And if I could, I’d jump in his arms right now and let him hold me, because I know he would. He wouldn’t turn me down. How could he when he wants to save me so badly? Max the savior, saving the whole world, even the less worthy of people, like me.

“We don’t have to talk.” He’s not even looking at me. Sitting there, but not really there. Faced away and staring at the ground. Why is he even here? “I can just sit here with you, if that’s what-”

“Max, go home.” I think my voice might have startled him. He kind of just goes into this lapped silence, staring at the ground and thinking. Sitting there.

And I just need him to leave. I’d rather feel cold then have this taunting semi-warmth feeling. It’s like being at the other side of the room from a fire, seeing it’s alluring flames, but still shivering and cold, when you want more than anything to be right next to it, warming yourself. But from this distance, it’s not enough.

“I’d rather be here, Liz.” And he still won’t look at me, just slouches there at the foot of the chair.

And I just stare at him. Sigh and shake my head. “Max, it’s late. You should be home. What would your parents say?”

“I don’t have parents.” My head shoots up and I kind of just stare at him, while he stares at the ground. And I’m stunned. What the hell do you say to that? But Max sighs and kind of just shakes his head. “At least, they’re not with me.”

And all I can do is nod my head a bit and look away. “Me too.”

And through the corner of my eye, I can see him lift his head and look at me. But now, I can’t look at him. “At least here, I can be with you. At home,” he just shrugs, and I’m still just pretending to stare off. “It’s just an empty house.”

Before I kind of just figured Max had it all, the smarts, the grades, the jeep, the nice car, every girl in the world. And now he seems more… lonelier, I guess. And I bet, if I turned to look at him, I’d find a sadness in his eyes that I never noticed before. It seems like I’m pitying him, doesn’t it?

“But hey,” glimpse him shrugging again, “you get used to it.”

Sigh. “It doesn’t have to be that way, Max.” I shake my head and face him again, but he’s turned away and looking back towards the ground. We seem to always just barely miss looking at each other, don’t we? It’s like we’re taking turns of some sort.

After a while, he stands, faced away. “If you don’t want me here, I’ll leave.”

Shake my head and sit up more, hugging my knees to me. “I didn’t say that.” I kind of speak softly and I wonder if he heard me or not because he doesn’t seem to respond, just stands there, his back to me.

Until he finally turns around, a smirk now on his face, hand outstretched toward me. “Come with me.”

And I kind of just stare at his open palm for a second, not sure what to do. To go or not to go? Sigh, take a deep breath, close my eyes and blindly slip my hand into his. Fully aware that I may end up regretting this later. But taking the chance anyway. Because in the end and through it all, whatever happens, it’s Max.

It occurs to me later that I don’t ask what he has in mind, what we’re going to do, or even where we are going. I just go. Down the dimly lit streets in the dead of night, I just walk there, beside him. Following blindly and letting him lead the way. And I’m not sure whether it’s the fact that I gave him this control over me so effortlessly that scared me. Or that somewhere in my messed up mind, I knew I probably would follow him to the ends of the earth, just to walk beside him. Freaky, creepy, and insane, I am.

“What are you thinking?” I hear his voice and take a quick glance at him and find him just staring into the darkness of the street.

Should I tell him? Should I clue him in on what kind of hold he has on me? What an impact he’s made since he first walked into my life? How hot and adorable I think he is when he’s all moody and brooding? Hehe… like hell I will. Sigh. “How I’m going to tell Alex.”

“Tell Alex what?”

Sigh and shrug a bit, trying to make it not a bit deal. That me, packing up and shuffling off to another different home, having to conjure up a whole new daily routine, and whole new set of house rules to remember, isn’t a big deal to me. “That I’m moving.”

“Moving?”

I shrug and continue walking. But I stop when I notice he isn’t following, glance back at him and nod my head. “In with my mom’s cousin.”

He still just stands there, shuffles his feet a bit, but still, just stands. “Oh.”

And it’s the way he says his ‘oh’ that gets to me. It’s kind of hard to decipher because it’s not really a happy oh like ‘oh, isn’t that interesting’. But it’s not a n indifferent oh like ‘oh, I don’t freaking care.” It’s just an ‘oh’. And I think I’m reading way too much into this.

And it seems my overanalyzing is true when I feel Max shaking me a bit from where he’s standing, two steps away from me. How he got this close, I don’t know because I seemed to have stopped paying attention, being in my own little world and all. “Where to, Liz?”

“Huh?” Gather my wits. “Oh, it’s… um… it’s still in Roswell.” Right? Yes, right. And here I go, off in my own little world again.

“Do the Whitman’s know?” See him start walking and I have to pick up a few steps to catch up to him.

“Yea, and they don’t want to be the ones to tell Alex.” And I have to roll my eyes and laugh at the whole ordeal because even Alex’s parents don’t want to be the ones to break the news to him. And quite frankly, I don’t blame them, because neither do I.

“I’ll tell him.” He says it as though it weren’t a big deal.

And although Max’s offer was sweet, I have to laugh and shake my head at him. “Sorry, Max. But it’s not your business to tell.”

“Yeah. What do I care, right?” His voice is tight and his pace quickens.

I have to jump a few steps before I can grab his arm to try to get him to stop. “What are you talking about?”

He stops and stares me down, and all I can do is stare back. It’s another mini-battle between us, I guess. When did we start having them? I don’t know. But I win this one, I suppose, since he looks away first and starts walking again.

He keeps his quick pace and I have to struggle to keep up. I guess I kind of just took it for granted that he always adjusted his pace to suit mine before, even though I never noticed it.

Glance at him and he’s just looking straight, taking large steps, hands in his pocket. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was just taking a casual, but brisk stroll down the block. But his eyes were hard, his jaw was tight, and his ears fell back just a little, the way it did when he was frustrated or angry.

And it all sent little daggers of guilt at me. Take a deep breath and jerk at his arm. It’s better to edge him on more and get him to yell at me than to have him give me the silent treatment. “What’s wrong?”

He just shakes his head and shrugs, more anger coming off of him. “You tell me.”

And I do exactly like he does with the head shaking and the shrugs, only without all of that pent up anger. At least, not too much pent up anger. “What do you mean?”

He walks a few steps away. “I mean… What are we, Liz?” And I’m going, ‘huh?’. But he turns back around and walks right up to me, confusing me more. “Are we friends… more than friends?”

And with the look he’s giving me, and all of these things that I’m starting to notice more, I think I might be starting to understand what he’s getting at. But for the sake of me being me, I pretend that I don’t. Why? I do not know. Just shrug and play innocent. “We’re friends, Max.”

“Why?” I try to look away. And I try to extract myself from this whole situation, but I can’t. He’s just so close. And suddenly, it’s a lot harder to breathe. So what can I do but push away?

“I don’t know, Max.” Step off the metaphorical platform and point the arrow towards him. “Why are you here? Why are you wasting your time with me when you could be spending it with someone like… Pam.” I seem to use her as a scapegoat a lot, don’t I?

“Because God knows she’d want me, right? Unlike you?” He’s yelling now and I thinking how easy it would be to just walk away from him, turn around and just go back home, in the safety of my room.

But something keeps me rooted in place, staring at him. “What are you talking about?”

“I’ve tried… so much. But it’s just never good enough for you, is it?” And it’s my fault I asked for this. I wanted him to let his anger out and he’s doing a hell of a job at it, practically shouting, hands raking through his hair, and huffing.

And the worst of it, I still don’t quite understand what the hell he is talking about. “What?”

“Why do I even want you, other than the obvious? What the hell is it that keeps pulling me to you?” It’s at this point that I pretty much figure that he’s talking to himself. I keep standing there though, arms crossed, soaking up all that he’s saying, but I don’t even attempt to try to figure out what he’s getting at.

“Any other girl, God, I could have any other girl and they’d come running, bow at my feet, and do my bidding. But you? No. You can’t even stand to be in my presence.”

Shake my head and just chuckle in my head. That last part couldn’t be farther from the truth. “Max, what are you talking about?”

He stops his pacing a few feet away from me, faced away. I can see him try to calm himself down, his shoulders lifting up and down while he takes deep breaths. And after a while, his voice comes out evenly, “Nothing. Nothing.”

He starts walking again, his pace slower this time. He takes a few steps and then stops when he notices I’m not following. He doesn’t turn around, he doesn’t call out to me. He just stands there, waiting patiently.

And after a while, I let out a sigh, slowly take the few steps separating us, link my arm through his and we continue down the street.


--------------


Me and Max. We walked. No talking, just walking. Each with our own thoughts running rampant through our heads. How we ended up in the park, sitting down on a bench, I do not know.

But we don’t talk. I don’t even look at him. I can’t. Because not only do I not understand what is going on, I don’t know if I want to. Some times, some things are better left unknown. So you never bother to ask the question. Not even of yourself.

“See that cluster of stars right there?” He breaks the silence, pointing toward the sky.

I nod and my eyes follow his finger up to a small group of tiny little diamonds in the sky.

“Those are my favorite.” I glance back at him and there’s a sorrowful smile on his face. “Those are the ones I always think of when I think of my parents.” I did mention the sorrowful part of his smile, didn’t I?

“Do you think of them often?” I ask the question and his eyes start to shift from the stars to look down at me, so I quickly look up towards the sky. I don’t know, but there’s something in the way he can just stare through me that scares me. So I avoid it the best I can.

“No.” Watch him shake his head through the corner of my eye. “I used to. But now… they just kind of faded away. Kind of sad, huh?”

And some time during his little confession, my eyes just drifted towards him on their own accord. And I just shake my head softly and offer him a small smile. “It’s not, Max. It’s okay. You’ll be fine.” My hand comes up and brushes his cheek. It felt oddly right to do so. Something inside of me just wanted to reach out and comfort the lost little boy.

Until his hand comes up and covers mine. Then I have to pull away, sit straight, and refocus my gaze on something else. “So,” this time, I break the silence, “if you had, say, a letter, from your father, what would you do with it?” That’s right. Just play it off and he won’t know what you’re talking about.

“First of all, I’d read it.” He pauses and I can feel his eyes on me again. “You haven’t read it yet, have you?”

“I haven’t had time.” Shake my head and keep staring out at nothing.

I hear Max scoff, because, after all, that was one lame-ass excuse. “That’s bullshit, Liz. And you know it.”

And I have to agree with him there. “It’s just… what could he possibly have to say to me, after what he did?”

He leans back, his arm brushing up to mine and I can feel him shrugging. “You’ll never know until you read it.”

I try to take into account what he said and just sit there, staring out at nothingness until I feel a finger reach out, forcing me to look at him. And his eyes are just incredible. “Look, all I know is, if my father had sent me a letter, I would kill to get to it.”


--------------


Hours later, keeping Max’s words in mind, what do I do? I ignored everything he said and wrote him off as a complete loony.

Kidding. I took the letter out and stared at it for a whole half an hour before I put it back in its nice little hiding spot, unopened. Max might be willing to kill to get something from his father, but that just shows how much stronger he is than me.

What could dad possibly have to say to me? And in the end, I stick with my motto. Because sometimes, it’s just better to not know. Being left in the dark can save you from a lot of things. Hurt, pain, sorrow. None or which I am particularly fond of.

But hey, that’s just me. And I am one really weird person.

“Liz?” And there’s a soft knock on the door before it opens. And in enters Alex, grin on his face and all. You can’t help but smile back.

“Hey, Alex. It’s past midnight. What are you doing up this late?” Sit up in bed and motion for him to come in closer. “It’s a school night, you know?”

“I know. But I come bearing gifts.” He pulls a bag of cookies from behind his back and my eyes pretty much light up.

Gesture towards the bed, “Well, then, you’re more than welcome.”

He opens the bag of cookies and we kind of just dig in until Alex stops, shaking his head. “Milk. I knew I forgot something.”

I smile and brush crumbs from my lap, standing up and walking towards the door. “I’ll get it. Knowing you, you’ll probably trip over something on the way back and wake everyone up.”

“It’s not my fault my legs are so long,” he frowns. “They get caught in things.”

He says it so sincerely that you can’t not smile. “I’ll be back.” Shake my head and head out to the kitchen. Tiptoe out, pour two glasses of milk, and tiptoe back to find Alex sitting on the bed, staring out the window.

Slip back onto the bed and hand Alex his glass. He takes it and smiles. “So, why can’t you sleep?”

I just shrug. “Things on my mind. You?”

He sighs. “Same here. I’ve got…” there’s a pause and you can see him blush a bit, “girl issues.”

Quirk my eyebrow and give him a lopsided grin.

“Well, I don’t have girl issues, myself. But issues concerning girls. I mean, I’m having problems that deal with-”

“Alex,” It is kind of fun just watching Alex fall all over his words. But I had to stop him and put him out of his misery, “I get what you’re saying.”

“It’s just… I don’t know. I mean, everyone is pairing up and I kind of just feel left out.” Why he tells me this, I do not know, since I am probably one of the most antisocial people he knows.

And all I can think of to say to him is the regular hallmark, standard pep-talk kind of thing. “Alex, when you find the right girl-”

“Liz,” he interrupts, giving me this somewhat annoyed look. “Don’t start with that. That’s the sort of stuff I should be getting from my mom, not from you.”

Sigh, shrug, and pout my lip. “What am I supposed to say to you?”

“I don’t know,” he kind of whines too. “It’s just… when I see Michael with Maria and Kyle with Tess-”

Whoa, back the train up. “Michael and Maria? I can maybe… kind of… see how that happened… I guess. But Kyle and Tess? I never would have thought.”

“Liz,” he gives me this raised eyebrow kind of look. “This stuff has been going on for a while now. Where have you been? Another planet?”

Well, if you count being in my own little world, I suppose so. “What else is going on that I don’t know about?”

“Well, Doug’s been sent off to a kind boot camp thing.” Alex just shrugs nonchalantly, or at least, he tries to.

And wow, I completely forgot about Doug. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen him since English several days ago. The big day with me and Max and the chemistry room. Also the day Alex was in the hospital. That’s probably why Doug was sent away. “Because of what he did to you?”

“Yeah.” Alex just rolls his eyes. I don’t think he particularly liked that moment. “Not just that though. Doug’s been… acting up.”

Wait a second… “Acting up?”

“Nothing.” He stuffs another cookie in his mouth and starts chewing.

“Oh.” I choose to ignore and overlook what ever it was that happened here and move on to more important matters. “So what’s up with Max? Since you and him are kind of close.” Slick, huh? Aren’t I just so smooth?

Alex finished chewing and shrugs. “I don’t know. I mean, he still comes to me for advice and all. But lately, he’s just been so moody. Not that he isn’t always. I mean, it’s Max. He’s known for his brooding ways. But, it just seems like something’s been eating at him lately.”

“Hmm…” Chalk it up and remember to keep that in mind the next time we talk to him. “So, what are these girl problems of yours?”

“Well, there’s this girl.” He laughs at himself a bit and keeps going, “there’s always been this girl. But I’ve always been so out of her league.”

And I have to stop him and tell him what he needs to hear. “Alex, no one is too good for you. You’re way too great of a guy for anyone out there.” And that’s the God honest truth.

“No. But this girl… she’s incredible.” He gets that dreamy look in his eyes. The kind you only get when you’re head over heels for someone. I wonder if he even realizes he has the look. “Beautiful on the inside and out. Before, I just never thought I had a shot. But, now… I don’t know… she’s different… changed. And I think, maybe…”

“Alex, I say go for it. You’ll never know unless you try, right? So tomorrow, I want you to ask Isabel out.” And no, I’m not just saying that because, if Isabel is with Alex, she can’t be with Max. I’m saying that, because I really do want Alex to be happy. And if he just so happens to be happy with her, then that’s whom he should be with. And it’s not like Isabel is that bad of a person, is she?

“How did you know it was Isabel?” He just stares at me, mouth open.

“Sometimes, you just know.” I just have to shrug and play it off as intuition, because it’s weird how they’re never able to see, themselves, how obvious it is that they’ve fallen hard.

“Thanks, Liz.” He smiles.

I smile back. It’s nice being helpful. “Anytime.”

He stands from the bed and stretches his legs, glancing around the room a bit before he stops and points at the suitcase I have on the ground. “I see your packing already.”

And the conversation I’ve been dreading, starts. “Yeah. Look, Alex, I need to tell you that-”

“You’re moving?” he interrupts. I just stare at him and he smirks back with a sad smile. “I know already, Liz.”

Sigh and I feel a bit guilty for not having told him myself. “Who told you?

He just chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m not allowed to say. But you can probably guess.” And with a wink, he heads towards the door. “Good night, Liz. And sweet dreams.”




-------------------------------------------------



Comments? Concerns?





posted on 1-Dec-2002 2:01:51 AM by LiLEvEe


Wow. You don't know how relieved I am to see that the board is back up. I just realized exactly how much of my time is spent here. It's weird getting on the computer and not being able to check for any updates from some stories. But the board's back. And hopefully, with enough fundraising and donations, we'll be able to keep the board for whiles to come.

Thank you everyone for your comments and your feedback. It means a lot to me. I'll try to find more time to write more, but at this point, I really can't make too many promises. I know that I will get at least one part out before Christmas. I think I've been pretty okay about getting at least one part out a month, right? Even though, that's a very short number of updates. I'll try.




Evelynn



posted on 2-Dec-2002 12:52:00 AM by LiLEvEe



-note-





You know what I just decided? I really, really want to finish this story. Because, come January, it will have been a year. That is a lot of time to have devoted to one fic. Accept the Challenge took me, I don't know, six or seven months. And this has been almost a year.

And I have to get a Max POV out too. Hopefully that will be a lot quicker than all since the groundwork is already laid. Dude, A YEAR!! Can you imagine?? That is such a long time.

And I'm turning eighteen in two and a half weeks to. Wow, I'm old.

Well, I tell ya, I want this story out and done before this year is over. I wonder if I can handle it. Dude, that means I need to plan out and get the storyline moving on these next few parts. I'm up to 17 chapters. I think I might finish out with 25. Maybe... we'll have to see.

The only problem is, I guess, is to keep with my goal and not put it off like I know I probably will. So will ya'll remind me and keep me on track? Please?

That means, Christmas break should have lots of updates. Not as many as I had for Accept the Challenge, last year, but you get the drift.

I was looking at the repost for Accept the Challenge with the pretty little banner and all. It seems like so long ago that I finished that story. Wow. I am getting old.

And I'm thinking of maybe making a website for my stories, except it'll probably turn out crummy. Have you seen Rosedeidre's site? Is that not kick ass or what?? Schurry did a hell of a good job. I wish I could do something like that. I wish I could write like that. Gosh…

Anyway, it's late and I need to get started on my homework. I jus thought I'd let you all in on my little revelation and all. Thank you everyone.






LOVE,

Evelynn











[ edited 1 time(s), last at 2-Dec-2002 12:54:24 AM ]
posted on 15-Dec-2002 10:19:25 PM by LiLEvEe
LOOK!!



bestCCdreamer2nd



Check it out guys, I won runner up to BEST DREAMER AWARD at Substantial Myth board. That is so cool because I this story is only up on this board, the Boardello, and Faith's site. I feel so special and so priviledged. It's really made my day.

I'm sorry there hasn't been any updates, but Christmas break starts after this week is over. I'm not asking for any extra hours yet, so I'm hoping to be able to spend overtime on this story.

Oh, and I just finished Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. It is an amazing book. Completely not boring like I thought it would be. But actually very entertaining, amusing, and witty. Ya'll should check it out when ya'll have time. Or those that have read it, feel free to start a discussion on the book with me at any time. I'd love it to bits.

Well, that's all for now. Oh, my birthday is on Wednesday, December 18th. Wish me a happy birthday. And if I feel cheery enough, since it's my 18th birthday, I might just get a part out, wink wink, nudge nudge.


Thank you everyone!!




[ edited 2 time(s), last at 15-Dec-2002 11:50:26 PM ]
posted on 22-Dec-2002 12:25:38 AM by LiLEvEe



Just to let you know, my Christmas break has started and I’ve started the next part already. I’m hoping to be able to work on and finish it up Sunday and post it.

My 18th birthday was Wednesday. Bought me a scratch off lottery ticket. I won $5. I had a party last night. All is good. Made off with some pretty good birthday presents too. I got $250 cash, gold bracelet, watch, candles, $40 gift cards to Starbucks, $10 gift card to Chili’s, Mickey plush, picture frames, action figures, among other stuff. So all is on the up and up.

I have to go back through and reread some of the chapters to get in the right mood and mind set to get back at writing again. I’ve started the chapter, but I’m going to let it rest for the night and I’ll start things back up in the morning.

And that’s all the news I have as of late.

Oh, and I don’t know why you can’t see the banner. But when I first post it, it shows up. Or rather, I am able to see it.

bestCCdreamer2nd

Oh well. Off to bed.

Thank you everyone for their wonderful feedback.



Much love and Happy Holidays,
Evelynn







[ edited 1 time(s), last at 22-Dec-2002 12:26:06 AM ]
posted on 23-Dec-2002 4:33:52 AM by LiLEvEe


I know I promised a part today, but I was forced to work for my sister at her store while she went Christmas shopping. So I didn't have time to work on it. But I'm sort of working on getting a website together to post my stories on, if that's ok. I'm sort of computer illiterate so it's taking me a while with this whole html thing. But I think I'm getting the hang of it. So far, I've only got the prologue and chapter one for Accept the Challenge together.

Check it out...
Stories






[ edited 1 time(s), last at 23-Dec-2002 4:35:33 AM ]
posted on 30-Dec-2002 11:09:48 AM by LiLEvEe



I will be updating today. I was supposed to update a couple of days ago, but the board was down, so I didn't feel like finishing up the part, and I worked a bit more on my site, though it's still very very crappy. I think you can tell that I don't know what I'm doing. But at least I'm trying, right? Oh well...


Evelynn



posted on 30-Dec-2002 7:14:20 PM by LiLEvEe



As a warning, this part hasn't been proofread yet. I wanted to get the part out as soon as possible. I will probably be editing it soon. I realize I really haven't updated in a while. And I want to get back to updating weekly, if possible. And it's the break. If I can get a good amount of feedback, I'll work on the next chapter and try to post it by tomorrow. If not, I think I'll start working back on my website. I've got the layout I wanted for Accept the Challenge. And it's taking me a lot of work to do. But I still have to work on the rest of my stories. Thank you everyone.

Oh, and this part isn't as long as some of the others.





-------------------------------------------------



Chapter Eighteen



“So this is it, huh?” He parks the car and just stares forward, sad look on his face.

Me? I nod and open the door. “Yeah. I guess so.” Grab my one suitcase just in time to see him getting out of the car as well.

“So you’re all set?” He walks around the car towards me.

I just nod again. “Yeah.”

“So this is it?” And the puppy dog sad eyes are just too much.

Drop my suitcase to grab his shoulders and give him a good hard shake. “Yes, Alex. Stop it. You’re making it into a bigger thing than it is.”

“But it is,” he whines while his arms go around me and I’m pulled into this huge tight hug.

I give him a pat on the back and push him away in order to breathe again. “Look at the bright side. You have your old room again and your life can go back to the way it was before I interrupted it.”

“But-”

“I’m leaving now.” Bend down and pick up my suitcase.

“But,” he grabs my suitcase from me. “What am I to do without you, my love, my sun, my worldly axis, my-”

“Stop,” jerk my suitcase back from him. “Alex. I am going to leave now,” I say this slowly in order for it to enter his skull. “And I want no more nonsense about it.”

“Ok,” he smiles and drops the whole overdramatic bit. “Well, it was fun while it lasted.” I get another hug and he kisses be on the top of my head. He has to bend down a little to do that though. You know. Since I’m only wee tall and Alex is a giant.

He sighs and lets go of my shoulders. “I’ll be at Max’s house if you change your mind and take me up on my offer to run away together and join the traveling circus.”

Wait… “Max’s house?”

“Yeah. He lives right across the street, two houses down, that auburn-y, kind of brick one.” He points to a house and sure enough, there’s Max’s jeep parked in the semicircle driveway and his shiny blue car can be seen in the open garage door.

Dude. If Max lives around here, “who lives in these other houses?”

“No one you’ll like, I don’t think. Just your typical rich, snooty aristocrats. Oh, Pam lives in that one.” He points to the house across the street, three houses down to the right.

“Anyway, I have to go.” And I get another quick hug from him. “I promised Max I’d meet him and you know how he feels about people who are late.”

“Yeah.” I just smile and nod my head. How does Max feel about people who are late? And how the hell am I supposed to know this information?

“See ya later.” He waves with another smile before he hops back into his car and I start up the walkway to the front door.

And before I even knock, the door flies open. I kind of drop my suitcase since, you know, it startled the hell out of me.

But the short, kind of plump Mexican woman, who opened the door, just smiles. “Hola. Senorita Elizabeth, I presume. I am Juanita, the maid. Let me get your bags.”

And I was going to say, ‘No, I’ll get them.’ But she stoops down and grabs the suitcase before I could even open my mouth and already starts walking away. The quickness of this short and plump woman astounds me.

“I will show you to your room. It’s right upstairs.” We walk through the nicely decorated lobby kind of welcoming room thing, I guess. And start up a stair case, me following right behind her. “You will love the balcony.”

I’m still pondering over the gazillion steps in this staircase before I can even thing “balcony?”

“Sí. Right this way,” she continues on through another kind of entertaining sitting room of some sort into a big hallway with doors. She walks all the way to the last door on the right and opens it, showing me inside.

Me, upon entering, gawk like a old granny in a strip club. The room is huge. “Wow. This is my room.”

“Sí. I will unpack your bags.” She sets my suitcase down on the very flowery big bed.

And I, not particularly wanting her to go through my things say, “I can do that on my own, thank you.”

“Okay,” she steps away from the suitcase and the bed, “but Senor Harding says to unpack your things and make sure you get settled in.”

“Oh,” right. The creepy guy. “Is Mr. Harding in?”

“No. He is away on business,” she busies herself opening up the curtains and letting sunlight flood the room.

And something occurs to me that I never thought of before. “What type of business does he do?” What kind of work must he have to be able to afford places and furnishings like this?

“I do not know,” she turns around and smiles at me. “Well, you’re all settled here. If you need anything, call.”

“Okay. Thank you, Juanita,” I smile back and she leaves the room. My room. Wow.

Sigh contently and walk around a bit. Big canopy bed, a dresser, a vanity, a desk, an all around pretty girlish room. And a huge, gigantic window, part of it being a door, that leads out to an incredible balcony. Very Romeo and Juliet like. It’s semicircular with flowers draping over the sides.

And this is when you think, wow, this is too F-ing good to be true. Sigh and kind of just lean on the ledge of the balcony. It’s a nice day outside.

And you know what’s kind of weird? If I look straight ahead, I faced directly in front of Max’s house.

What’s that trying to tell me?

The gods?

Fate?

Destiny?

I don’t know. But it suddenly got a little too hot outside.

Go back in and plop down on the bed. It’s comfy… and nice. Smile.

I open up my suitcase and empty everything out, refolding the clothes and things. I take my memorabilia box and slide it under the bed before I take my stack of clothes and walk over to the dresser, open it up and put all of my things away. Put up all of my schoolwork, paperwork, and whatnot in my desk, and everything else away.

Take my suitcase, close it up and bring it to the closet to put away. Slide open the closet to reveal a very large walk-in closet. Whoa…

Not that I have any use for it. I’m not that big of a clothes person. My suitcase will probably feel lonely inside there by itself.

Other than the fact, of course, that there are things in the closet. Frilly things that are hung up inside the closet. Beautiful and extravagant frilly things. Throw the suitcase inside and pull one of the gown off its hanger.

Take it out of the closet and lay in down carefully on the bed.

Oh my god, this can’t be for me. It’s a scarlet reddish elegant thing. And I’m biting my lip, staring at it. Should I try it on or shouldn’t I try it on? Should I?

Oh hell. Take off my shirt and jeans and get into the gown, zipping it up.

Go over to the full-length mirror and smile. Wow.

Grab my hair and twist it on top of my head before I let it fall back down. Wow.

It’s like when you play dress up when you were little.

Hehe… I’m a pretty little princess.

And in my pretty little gown I go… twirl, twirl, twirl…

“Liz.”

“Alex!” Come to an abrupt halt, facing him and kind of clear my throat, smoothing the dress out, forgetting that he just walked in on me, spinning around like an idiot. “What are you doing in here?”

He’s just all smiles and it seems to make me blush more. “Oh, Juanita let me in.” As if that explains everything.

“Okay. What are you doing?”

“Oh, I… um… just thought it was a little too bright in here.” He goes over and undoes the ropes so that the drapes fall back down, covering up the window.

Hmm… weird. “Okay… you’re done talking to Max?” Notice how he seems to be a long-term inhabitant of my mind.

“Yeah. I guess.” And he walks back over towards me, eyeing my dress with a smile before he starts circling around me, critiquing.

“Did you… um…” I have to turn around in order to face him again. “Did you tell him that I live across the street?”

“Yeah.” He nods, rolling his eyes.

Well? Don’t keep me in suspense, man. Was he happy about it? Was he annoyed? “What’d he say?”

“He didn’t say too much.” And I again gain nothing from Alex’s insight. “But Pam didn’t take it all too well.”

Hold the phone… “Pam?”

“Yeah. She was at Max’s house.” He says this in the most impassive voice ever. As if the fact doesn’t boil my blood. Oh, wait, that’s right. Because it shouldn’t. Because I shouldn’t give a damn. But I do…

“Oh. Of course.” And he says it like it’s a well known fact. Hell, where Max is, pom-pom Pam can’t be far behind, no. Like an on-hand whore or a lap dog of some sort. Grr…

Alex lets out a wearisome breath and looks towards the door. “Well, I should get going. See ya later, alligator.”

“In a while, crocodile,” I manage a grin and a small wave.

Drudge back to the bed and just plop down. It’s funny, really. Because see, I said so myself that this whole ordeal was too good to be true. And it is. An enormous house, huge room, incredible balcony, fancy dresses, and a maid.

But what’s the downturn to it all? An incredible balcony where, if equipped with binoculars, I can probably get a nice view of the pimp and his harlot get it on.

Sigh.

I’m pretty evil with the name-calling, aren’t I?

Sigh.

Unzip the gown and walk back to the closet to hang it up, putting on my regular clothes.

And it’s weird because my mood is suddenly ruined. Why should I care if Max has Pam over at his house? And even if he had the whole cheerleading squad at his house, it shouldn’t mean a thing. Hell, if they all had one huge orgy, it should not fucking matter to me!

But still… there’s this feeling that’s kind of lingering in my chest… and I don’t like it.

Screw it all that Max seems to know the real me more than anyone ever has. Or that he told me things that seemed to be little tidbits that he doesn’t share with just anyone.

I was probably just some kind of fucking charity case anyway.

And here’s me, now slumped down to the floor, knees drawn up, head down. See? This is why I don’t lean on people. This is why I don’t depend on anyone. And why I don’t let people into the personal bubble that is my life. Because look what happens. They think it looks nice on the outside. But once they’re in, they can’t take the claustrophobic shit and want out. And on the way, they tear at me, and pull me apart.

Don’t you just love how over traumatic I make everything?

And I just lie down on the ground where I am. Why? Why not? It’s easier to build this way, brick by brick by brick. Stick with my standards, values, and way of life that I’ve grown to think, and I’ll be fine this time around.

No smirks, soulful eyes, or brooding looks will get to me this time around, damn it.

A hundred watt smile and we’re all better. Open my eyes and I seemed to have almost wormed myself completely under my bed while in the midst of my self-pitying. Wiggle my way back out, grabbing my box-o-junk on the way.

I sit up, smiling. Why? Because I’m crazy like that. Take off the lid and take out what I wanted before I replace the lid again, sliding the box back under my bed.

If you’re thinking I’m about to do something bad to myself, you’re wrong. After all, I’m in a happy mood right now. Happy, happy, happy. Besides, I don’t have my knife. Max stole it from me and has yet to give it back. And I don’t think Juanita would take it too kindly if I go cutting away in her kitchen. If I knew where the kitchen was.

What’s right now laying in front of me is a envelope. But not just any envelope, no. It’s an unopened envelope. An unopened envelope with an unread letter inside of it. Because, you know, those unopened enveloped filled with unread letters are the best kind.

I should open it.

Should I open it?

Open it, I should.

It open, should I?

You ever wonder how many different ways you can rearrange a sentence? Hehe…

Right. Postponing the inevitable.

Turn the envelope over and my fingers trace over dad’s handwriting. He always did have nice penmanship.

I could open the letter, read it. But, what could it say? What could it possibly say? What could he possibly have to say to me, his daughter and only child?

“You really should take a look inside there. There could be some dated material.”

Head shoots up and I stare at an evil, smirking, arrogant son of a gun. “What the hell are you doing here?”

And he dares to come in closer, even with the evil daggers I’m mentally sending through his chest… among other areas… “Ouch. Just saying hi. Juanita let me in.”

Juanita. Figures. Maybe I should tell her that he’s an evil egotistical alien, bent on taking over the world and never to be allowed into the house again.

“So you’ve said ‘hi’. Now you can leave.” Sending more evil daggers his way.

“A bit touchy today, aren’t we?” And the guy doesn’t leave. No. He walks closer, stopping just a few feet away from me, just barely out of reach for me to be able to kick or hit or bite him. He’s smart. “So it looks like we’re neighbors. Isn’t it great?”

“Oh yes. Now you can sleep over and we can do each other’s hair and nails.” Give him a pointed look, and there has got to be enough sarcasm there for even him to get the hint.

“Hey, I wouldn’t mind a sleep over.”

Obviously not. Ahh… Grr… Groan and lay head down.

“Okay,” I can feel him getting closer, but I refuse to look up “What’s wrong?” And there’s a hand smoothing my hair back.

I, of course, being me, slap his hand away. “Nothing.”

“No, see? Something has to be wrong if you aren’t keeping up to par in our usual bicker and banter.”

And I lift my head to this. Because “since when do we bicker and banter?”

“Sine now,” and he has this somewhat hopeful look on his face before he groans and sits down next to me. “Since I was hoping that you really didn’t mean it when you told me to leave just now.”

I scoot over so that he’s at least an arm’s reach away.

“Come on,” he sighs. ”Tell me what’s wrong.”

You want to know what’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong? “What’s up with you and Pam?”

There’s a pause of guilty silence. “What about me and Pam?”

Raise eyebrow. Like I’m going to buy the whole innocent look. I own that look.

He shrugs and more death glares and evil imaginary daggers fly at his head. “She came over for a cup of sugar.”

Yeah, and my dog ate my homework. “Cup of sugar? Sure, if that’s what you’re calling it now a days.”

“Calling what?”

Bright smile, “Boinking, screwing, shagging, take your pick.”

“None of the such,” he sighs and then kind of scrubs his face in what seems like frustration. “She really did come over for sugar.”

Roll eyes. I’m sticking to my firm belief that Pam is a tart. And that’s that.

“Fine. Don’t believe me. She didn’t come barging into my house. No, I forced her inside and tied her down to a chair while I poured a cup of sugar down her throat. Until Alex came over and we all got up and did the Macarena.”

And I couldn’t help the small jerk at the side of my face, making me crack a small smile before I sigh and just give in. “Now that’s just silly. Alex doesn’t Macarena. He hokey-pokeys.”

“Pam did really come by asking for a cup of sugar. Sorry to disappoint you if you thought there was something more to it than that.”

Sigh. I seemed to have let him believe that it would mean the world to me whether or not he fooled around with Pam. Which in the process, but make him think that I’m jealous or something. Which also means that I kind of… somewhat… care… about… him. Which I don’t. “Like I care.”

“Fine.” There’s an awkward little pause. “So… we’re neighbors now.”

“Yeah,” Nod my head and continue to just sit there, a ways away from him.

But he doesn’t do the same, no. He scoots over and turns so that, not only are parts of his body in contact with parts of mine, he is also facing me, smile on his face. “But it’s great. Because if you ever need me, I’m right across the street.”

Shake my head and laugh a bit. “Max, what would I ever need you for?”

He, in turn, rolls his eyes at me. “P-lease. You need me.”

Small pause to think, and I turn towards him too. “Actually, I do.”

“You what?”

”I need you, Max.” Take a deep breath and prepare myself. “I… um… don’t get mad?”

He gives me this weird look. “We’ll see.”

No, no. Shake my head. “You can’t get mad.”

“I said ‘we’ll see’.”

Stubborn mule. “Fine.” Cross my arms over my chest. “No, I can’t tell you then.”

Seconds tick by until he caves. “All right, all right. I promise. I won’t get mad.”

“Okay,” slowly. God, how to tell him… “I… kind of…” figuring a visual would be easier than words, I slowly pull my sleeve back, and bring my hand up to show him.

And I look at Max, waiting for his reaction, because God knows I don’t know what it’s going to be.

But he just stares, frown on his face before he lifts his eyes towards me. “When did this happen?”

Shrug and bring my hand back down. “Days ago.”

“When you called me?”

I nod slowly and he’s still frowning and his voice is low, like a deep whisper. It’s scaring me. It’s like the eye of the storm. Scary.

“What do you want from me?”

Shrug and bite my lip. “Make it go away again.” That’s what I want, right? That’s why I’m telling him? Because he can make it go away? Not because of the attention I get from him for it. Not because he makes me feel special. But because he can make it go away. “I’d try to do it myself, but I get the feeling that it won’t work, since it didn’t work when I tried the first time.”

“Liz, why do you do this to yourself?” his hands flail about, like he wants to hit something.

“You’re not supposed to get mad.” It’s funny that I say that, because deep down, I knew he’d get mad. If not mad, frustrated, annoyed, helpless?

“I’m not mad.” But his tone is still hinting like he wants to throw something.

“You said you wouldn’t get mad.”

“I’m not,” he takes a deep breath. “There’s no anger aimed towards you. I’m just concerned.”

Concerned? Wow. Great. Neat-o. And here comes the lecture…

“Liz-” this annoying beeping starts to go off. “Shit!” Max starts messing with his watch, pushing buttons or whatnot. I look up at him and he’s staring back at me. You can practically see the tug of war happening on his conscience. But in the end, his mind is made up. “I have to go. I don’t want to, but I really, really have to go. It’s an emergency.” Or so he tried to explain. I… do not care. “We’ll continue this talk later tonight.”

Pull my knees up, wrapping my arms around my legs. “I don’t know if I’ll be up for it then.”

He’s stood up and is looking down at me with another one of his looks. ”I guess I’ll just have to forcefully tie you down to a chair and pour sugar down your throat until you feel up for it.”

I roll my eyes. I can’t even crack a grin right now. Don’t you hate the feeling of being at the bottom of someone’s priority list?

“Liz…”

And I’m surprised he isn’t bolting out of the door, it’s his chance.

But, no. “Look at me.” He squats back down and my face is being lifted to look up at him. The soulful eyes… they draw you in like bees to honey.

“You are a beautiful, intelligent, and very special person. And I… care about you so much. You don’t need to do this to yourself.” And he runs his hand over my arm, wrist, and gives my hand a squeeze. “We’ll get through it, okay?”

He stands back up with a sigh, kissing me at the top of my head on the way up. “I have to go.”

And I… do not know how to react. I kind of just… sit there. Not quite sure what to do or how to react right about now. But as I sit, I notice he’s still standing at the door. Glance up and look at him.

“And you’re wrong. Alex does too Macarena. He did it at last year’s Halloween party.” He smirks, winks, and leave out the door.

That, I must say, was freakishly weird. But kind of… I don’t know.

Sigh and lie back down. Must rebuild, brick by brick, and maybe next time, I won’t fall so easily.

Smile on my face… that was weird…



-------------------------------------------------



Comments? Concerns?







posted on 31-Dec-2002 4:54:29 AM by LiLEvEe



Wow... Oh the feedback. Thank you everyone. A couple of answers to possible questions:


-What was the big emergency that made Max leave Liz?
This, I will tell you now, will probably not be answered. Well, at least not in this story. In the Max POV, it will obviously be addressed, but I don't foresee any insight in this story at the time.

-What the hell is Max? What's goin on in Roswell? What is up with the Harding fool? What's in that damn letter of Liz's?
The answer to those will be revealed in future posts.

-Is there a connection between the Hardings and Max?
Might be. I'm not really seeing it though. But then again, you never know in AU fics, which is why I love 'em so much.

-Will we ever find out how important Max is?
Sure. Max's whole deal will be addressed and revealed before the story ends.

-Why is Pam everywhere?
She's like a plague or a pesky mosquito that keeps poking around.

-Have we seen the last of Sean and Micheal?
No, you haven't seem the last of those characters or others either. They will all make reappearances, as well as the possibly introduction of new characters.

-What about the claiming?
It might not make it to being answered in this story. But we'll see.

-Is there a conspiracy?
I don't know...

-What's the link to your website?
It's still very much under major contruction, but the link can be seen in my signature, or My Stories


Hope that answered some things. Leave me any more questions or anything else that you might just want to say or think. And thank you for reading.


Evelynn



posted on 31-Dec-2002 3:03:44 PM by LiLEvEe



Sorry. No new update today. I was called in to work. But I do not work tomorrow, so maybe tomorrow. I think I might work on a new chapter to Harvest Moon before I get to this one though.


Evelynn


posted on 2-Jan-2003 2:00:22 PM by LiLEvEe



I know this isn't fair, but... eh... thank you for all of the bumps and feedback, and if you also read my other stories, you'll see that I have planned on updating them. See, the thing is, although it's kind of wrong, I refuse to even work on another part for this story until I get comments and the thoughts of Kara (Eccentric One) and Tim (rattlebox). I've grown to really appreciate their lengthy comments and insight and have grown a real desire to know what they think. So yea... it might take me a month, but we'll wait...


Evelynn



posted on 4-Jan-2003 10:32:12 PM by LiLEvEe



Tomorrw is the anniversary of The Denial Game. Yes, that's right. It has been one whole year since I started this story and it will be finished.

And I'm looking at the last chapter and the ending of this story being chapter 25. And seeing how tomorrow is the anniversary, I thought it would only be appropriate if there's an update.

Which leaves us with only six chapters left after tomorrow's update, if I stick to schedule. Hey, I'll even give you the important "theme" of event that each chapter holds. Little hints, if you will:

chapter nineteen - "Letter Opener"
chapter twenty - "Meet the Parents"
chapter twenty one - "P.A.M.E.L.A. and the Convict"
chapter twenty two - "Mysteries Uncovered"
chapter twenty three - "Leaving Town"
chapter twenty four - "Confrontation Station"
chapter twenty five - "Desertification"

Make of these as you will.

I warn you though, I might be doing as I planned since there should be a Max POV and stop posting for this story after chapter 23 and then start posting the Max POV until it is up to date with The Denial Game and then the ending will be posted to both stories simultaneously.

And I will be moving on with my other stories as well, for those of you interested. And I get to go back and edit this one too. Oh boy!! And once I'm done with that, I can come up with a layout for it on my website.

And this will be my second completed story. Yay!!! If you'd like to read my first story, Accept the Challenge, it's posted on my pathetic website. The layout for that one is all done. The link is in my signature.

And look for an update tomorrow!!



Evelynn



posted on 5-Jan-2003 3:21:40 PM by LiLEvEe


I'm working on it. Hold your horses.


Evelynn



posted on 6-Jan-2003 12:55:56 AM by LiLEvEe


I'm sorry. I had a family outing I had to attend and so am not done with the update. But I will be staying up to finish it up. So far I have 8 pages for it and it looks like this is gonna be a long one, if that makes up for anything. Again, I'm really sorry for not having it like I promised and that I let you down. I'm sorry.


Evelynn


posted on 6-Jan-2003 9:33:58 AM by LiLEvEe
I added to this post. It's not a lot, but it's something. Sorry.



-------------------------------------------------


Chapter Nineteen


“And this,” we pass through another doorway, “is the dining room. You will take all of your meals in here.”

I get a good look around at the large dining table surrounded by chairs, beautifully adourned with a lovely centerpiece.

Juanita moves on and I continue to follow her, as I have this entire tour of the house. “And this,” we walk through yet another doorway and into yet another room, “is the sitting room.”

And I stop to think. “But wasn’t there a sitting room upstairs?”

“No, no, no,” she corrects me, just shaking her head. “That was the drawing room.”

“Oh.” Obviously that was the drawing room. Well, who would have known? So… “Who paints?”

“No one,” she shrugs. “It’s just called a drawing room.”

But why would it be called a drawing room if it weren’t used for drawing? “Juanita, you’re confusing me.”

“These are just all very big and expensively decorated rooms to entertain guests in. Like those boys you had over earlier, eh…” she winks at me and gives me this smirk of a smile.

I will not stand for this. This issue must be fixed. “Okay, those boys? They’re never allowed in here ever again.” Well, that’s kind of harsh. I mean, Alex didn’t really do any wrong. “Well, the second one isn’t. But the first one, he’s not allowed into my room.”

“That second one? He can go wherever he wants. Ain’t no one gonna stop him, especially not me.” She shakes her head and busies herself fixing a flower arrangement in a vase on the coffee table.

And I’m not quite comprehending. “What? But he doesn’t live here. He lives across the street.”

“It’s not where he lives. It’s who his papa is,” she says matter-of-factly.

“And who is his papa?” Answer me that, Juanita.

“You know what?” She looks up from the flowers. “You look exhausted. How about I draw you a bath.” Notice how she tries to change the subject?

“Juanita. Who is Max’s dad?” How can he be feared? “What is he, some kind of big business tycoon?”

“Something like that.” She nods her head and starts walking towards another thing to busy herself with.

But my mind is still on track. “Why does Max have this whole town at his beck and call?” Hmm…

“You didn’t hear it from me, but if you cross Max, you cross his father. And if you cross his father, you may not live to see the next day.” She looks at me while she says this, then turns back towards dusting off a few things.

You cross Max, you cross his dad, and you maybe killed? “What? So he’s like, some kind of mob boss or something? Is there some kind of mafia going around in this town?”

“Liz…”

“No, Juanita, I’ve crossed Max’s path more than enough time. How come I haven’t been shot yet?

“Listen, sweetie. No one is going to touch you. Max, he likes you.”

I ignore her statement and the small fluttering feeling I get from it. “So the deal with Max is that everyone is scared of him?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Because his father is in high places?” It kind of all makes sense.

“Uh huh…” she nods away.

“How do you know all this?” I think I’m starting to be convinced that either Juanita likes to gossip… or she’s a secret spy.

“Let’s just say I have excellent hearing.” Oh that, I am sure of.

“I think I’ll go take that bath now.” If I can find the bathroom again, that is.

“I’ll go draw it for you.”

“No, I’ll get it.” I’m sure how used to this whole maid thing I’m actually going to get.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” I’m already heading up the stairs that will hopefully take me into a hallway that will lead to my bathroom.

“Well dinner is in an hour.”

“Actually, I wanted to go visit Alex. I’ll grab something at the Crashdown.” I’m not sure if I’m all up for the experience of eating at a large dining table yet. It’ll just make me feel more out of place than I already am.


--------------


After the bath, or rather, quick shower, I walked to the Crashdown. It almost surprised me that there wasn’t some kind of chauffer in a nice shiny car to drive me around everywhere… almost.

But it wasn’t so bad, only a couple of extra blocks to walk each day. No big deal.

Yeah, a couple of extra blocks. But me with my slowness and my short legs, it took me forty-five minutes to get there, almost breaking a sweat.

And when I got there, the place was packed, it being not a school day and all. It wasn’t in too much of a frenzy though. Just a bunch of high school kids, some old folks, and a few families. And only two waitresses serving them all, one behind the counter, the other flying around in a panic to try to please the masses.

I normally try to opt for the counter when I work.

Head over there and there’s a blonde girl heading back and forth between making drinks and making change at the register.

“Maria.”

“Hey, Liz.” She throws me a smile and I smile back, in politeness and all.

Back to my reason for being here. “Is Alex working today?”

“Well, he was. But he took off early,” she rushes out with an easy shrug.

Alex, taking off early? That’s not like him.

“He said he had a hot date. So we got someone else to fill in for him,” she smiles, pointing to the cook’s window.

“Oh, yeah? Who?” See the thing is, we only have three cooks, Alex, Jose, and Mr. Whitman. And I happen to know for a fact that Mr. Whitman and his wife are out at a restaurant convention this weekend.

Glance over at the cook’s window and see the hair man himself, in an apron as he gives me one nod of his head in that universal guy thing for a hello. Michael? “Michael knows how to run the grill?”

“Yeah,” Maria says it surprisingly enough, with a smile. “He worked here during the summer last year.”

“Is something bothering you, Liz?” She gives me this concerned look and it’s kind of weird because I dimly remember that I don’t talk to her anymore. Nor do I spend my lunches in her presence any longer. But at the moment, we seem to be buddy, buddy.

I smile and just… whatever. “What? No. I’m fine.”

“You sure? Come on, have a seat. Hang with me. I’ll get you an alien blast, on me.” She walks away and comes back about two minutes later. “Here you go.”

Take a sip. Hmm… I don’t think I’ve ever had one of these before. But once the taste gets to me, I have to choke and gag a little, setting the glass down. “Maria, what is this?”

“What?” She comes back and looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

And I push the glass to her. “It tastes funny. Kinda… tangy, bitter…. I don’t know how to describe it.”

“Oh, um…” her mouth opens and closes a couple of times. Her eyes kind of wide.

And Michael appears at her side from out of nowhere. “The machine wasn’t cleaned out.”

“Um… yea… I’ll um… I’ll get you something else.” She grabs the glass and walks away. Hmm… weird.


--------------


“Hey, Liz?”

I spin to her, still sitting there with my cherry coke.

“Yeah?”

“I wanted to ask you, there’s only like maybe half an hour or so left… and I was wondering if you could stay and lock up. Michael and I were going to go see a movie.”

Glance at the cook’s window and Michael’s already putting up for the night. “So you and Michael, huh?”

“Yeah. It’s kind of weird. But yeah. Everyone like… expected it to happen. I don’t know… it’s nice. He’s… incredible. Really caring, but very opinionated.”

Michael? Opinionated? Since when do I ever recall him giving his two cents in about anything? “Okay, well…” it’s not like I have anything to do anyway, “go ahead. I’ll just go get changed.”

“Thanks, Liz.”

Yeah, whatever. I just go into the back and grab my uniform from my locker. And I start changing while I hear Maria and Michael leaving. Throw my clothes into the locker, closing it, and grabbing my apron on the way out the ‘Employees Only’ door.

Finish tying on my apron and…

“Hey.”

Jump, gasp, freeze, or whatever the hell else people do when they’re scared shitless.

“Max!”







sorry, but that's all. I wish I had more finished so that I can post it, but I don't. Sorry. Not that I don't have any more to this chapter, because I do. I have seven pages on Word not counting what I have posted. But I'm just not done with it yet. Really sorry.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 19-Jan-2003 12:24:06 AM ]
posted on 6-Jan-2003 6:56:24 PM by LiLEvEe



I don't think people realize that that was not a COMPLETE part, but only the beginning to it that I wanted to at least post before I went to work, but I'm back now and I'm going to start working on the rest. But school starts tomorrow and I don't know if I can finish in time since I still have homework to do. Oh, there is just never enough hours in the day.



Evelynn



posted on 19-Jan-2003 12:26:07 AM by LiLEvEe





Sorry it took me so long to even check back in. Real life got in the way and I kind of just completely forgot about the story. Sorry again and I still haven’t been able to complete the chapter. But I’m working on it. I’ve attached another part to the chapter though. It’s just added to the post on page 135.




posted on 3-Feb-2003 6:42:59 PM by LiLEvEe



I’ve been abducted by aliens and am being held captive until I produce an heir for their leader… or at least, that’s the excuse I’m sticking by for not having updated in a long time.

I realize that I still have yet to finish up chapter nineteen and I apologize greatly because it is a big chapter that’s kind of confusing, kind of enlightening, and just all in all a bunch of stuff in it.

And I really need to try to finish it up but there are at least seven more pages to it. And there also is the introduction of another character.

Tell ya what though, if I find time to work on it, even if I only get one page further, I’ll post it to try to gain some of my readers back. Please? Well, here’s to ya!!


-Evelynn




posted on 4-Feb-2003 11:19:53 PM by LiLEvEe



Anyone happen to read the moderators' note that was magnet to the first page of the site?

Anyone happen to read that article in a magazine about fanfictions?

Anyone else feeling as bummed about it as I am?

Yeah... I don't think I'm going to writing for a long time now.




Evelynn




posted on 16-Feb-2003 11:24:28 AM by LiLEvEe


I'm sorry. I'm just weening away from fanfics and writing now. Though I really want to finish the stories I have out, it just may take a while before I get to any updates or anything. I'm really sorry because I know I hate it when I have to wait forever for an author to update, but being a senior in high school, things are really starting to get hectic as I get closer towards the end of the year. I hope you understand. And all of the politics and things on the board now. It's all just confusing.



Evelynn



posted on 22-Feb-2003 1:05:23 AM by LiLEvEe



I apologize for not updating like I should. I seem to be neglecting to write so much. And I want to at least finish this story, if not the Max POV to it as well. In fact, I will work on it tomorrow if I can, type it up tomorrow night, and see if I can post it. Thank you for sticking with me. Chapter nineteen is way overdue to be finished.


Evelynn