posted on 22-Jan-2002 1:28:20 PM by babyitsyou
Title~ darker than love

Author~ Babyitsyou

Rating~ What's higher than NC17??.

Type~ AU. Very dark and angsty but No aliens & no destiny. Just something very, very different and the totally forbidden side of Max & Liz in a not-so-ordinary love story.

Miss Elizabeth Parker is hiding from a past that almost killed her and took away her one true love. Plagued by guilt and secret knowledge, bound to be lost and alone by choice forever.
That’s how it was until she meets the dark and charismatic Max.
Fate sure as a sick sense of humour as she finds out to her cost that he has a whole other agenda in mind when they take a journey to the beach.
Not for the faint hearted dreamers and the basic concept is very, very loosely based on the movie 'the wraith'.

Disclaimer~ I don’t own the characters only a very vivid imagination.

Note~ This is my first dip in the ocean as 'me'. Oh and there's are some pretty difficult scenes in this. Understatement because they include S&M, Abuse, Slash etc but I'll let you know beforehand. All necessary, needed in order for it to be just a little different. You have been warned!!!!!

Feedback would be greatly appreciated. Enjoy.


I push myself up groggily on my soft support as I see that the windows are now firmly closed. The sky beyond the trees a shade or two darker than I last remember seeing it. How long have I been out this time? I can't tell. I can't tell anything anymore because it’s been so long since I’ve been outside. He never lets me go outside, not since what happened the last time. I shiver cold at the remembrance of it as my raw and puffy eyes slowly venture downwards.

I see that the silver dress he makes me wear has been removed and my bonds now are gone. I feverishly examine my wrists with shaky hands. There are no marks, not this time. He has been kind but for how much longer I dare not even think about. I can not afford to as hope as long since left me.

Then I become aware that a white night dress is once again tight around my body. My drug filled head begins to glance around the room that he keeps me in.

Apart from the foam bed that I’ve been curled upon I could almost believe the afternoon’s events have never happened. That nothing had ever happened. Almost as I then try and stand as everything is dark and fading fast.


It’s raining and I’m still running through the trees. But I what’s the point I can’t escape. The place he holds me captive is in a place outside of nowhere and he’s already catching me up. I can hear him as my insides ebb. My dress is heavy with rain and slowing me further still. My breasts, my thighs, my everything are plainly on view in the moonlight but frozen and tight with fear.

Then from all around red blooms grotesquely rising from squat insipid bushes growing bigger all the time. Their mouths open wide to suck in all the air as the heavens bounce hard off their petals.

I’m breathing faster, harder but there’s nothing left to breathe, their taking it all as the sky continues to roar, echoeing my horror. Do they know what’s already taken place here? Or are is it warning me of what’s yet to come?

Suddenly from not looking in front while feverishly searching behind I slip on the wet, tall grass my dress tearing as it catches on low branches. God I’m trapped as from above me, the holes of sky between the trees are judgemental as eyes. You whore, you whore they pound down to me. Am I? If yes then it’s only what he’s made of me.

Then it is his eyes. Those dark, menacing, beautiful eyes leering over me. I can’t breathe, I can’t make myself move as he stoops down and tears at my sodden dress. He’s still laughing as a panel up the front rips and my feminine beauty is now exposed. But why should I care, it’s nothing that he hasn’t already seen before. Already taken before again and again as I’m marked by his hatred and vengence. Of what or who I’m yet to know but I see it as my punishment for things long since past. He can't do anything to me that he hasn't done already.

From my neck to my navel his hand fells the cotton as if it is tissue continually touching it and me over and under. I scream as he only laughs more. I knew he would, he always does.

He was once kind to me so like my love but he doesn’t remember for he is not my lost love. My mind has betrayed me in that as well as my body in letting him do what he has. I push him away and myself up hard against the truck of a tree as I try and flee.
But still he laughs, louder this time then comes for me as I scream again.


Just a teaser and I'd love to know what you think please.

[ edited 36time(s), last at 1-Feb-2002 10:52:33 AM ]
posted on 22-Jan-2002 1:42:36 PM by babyitsyou
The italics here are Liz's thoughts as well as things from the past.


Then I am sitting up, half-conscious in bed. Was it a dream? I can’t tell anymore. The drugs are so numbing. Thought sucking. Life stealing. At least it wasn’t about Kyle this time, those are still the worst but for a different reason now.

Please get them out of my head too I’ll only betray him more. Please

I can’t even look upon myself without knowing it. I wish now that I’d been taken too. Instead of, rather than because of. God I hate myself, more than Max ever could. My betraying thoughts serve me well. I deserve all of this, I know that now.

Outside, I hear intermittent explosions and a constant hissing, rapping sound. The room he keeps me in is nearly dark. One shutter is closed against a rind of demonic sky. A far-off tree dances. Then, in growing horror, I watch as the other shutter comes slowly towards me and in the dark, the outline of a woman in a deep pink dress and gold sandals forms against its black frame.

I crouch against the scattered pillows and the hard wall, shuddering all over and shrieking my fear into hot dark air as nothing comes. Then, in the short time it takes my warped senses to recover sufficiently to realise that what I am silently screaming at is my own dress, the one that he told me to wear rinsed and hung on the slatted wood to dry. Again it’s the drugs he’s giving me messing with my mind while he’s messing with me. I blush up as forbidden thoughts invade my broken body.

Am I liking it now?

The thought spears me to my very core as my skin tingles with awareness. It feels like it. No it’s the drugs, god it has to be because of the drugs.

I can’t. I don’t. I won’t let it

I am then alerted by something else, something less theatrical but infinitely more frightening. Someone is trying to get into my room. I stare paralysed, at the door handle. Someone, it can only me him.

Oh god not again. It’s too soon.

I blink. My body still aches from my punishment before. I blink a couple of times doubting myself again.


But I’m sure it’s not moving.

Please yes or please no?

I force myself off the bed towards it.

Why you stupid bitch? Hide

But where? And do I want to? then realise that the frantic sound of metal being twisted and rattled against the wood is not coming from the door to the hall, not this time but to my side. The slim wooden door next to the shower room is vibrating wildly. I scrabble back against the bed.

Why to there? God you are what he said of you

The feeling warm as fragmented memories make me shiver. Not allowed to continue. Interrupted as I sink but not before I glimpse the splintering of wood and a hand clawing through the open, ragged space.

I half tumble, half roll over the dishevelled bed taking the silk sheet with me. He barges into the room, stumbling against the wall, grabbing the bedstead for support. He is naked to the waist, his hair is rough, tangled as if he’s been asleep. But he never sleeps and I smell alcohol from where I cower on the floor. I freeze. There’s something different about him. Fear consumes but excitement ebbs me more.

God help me

He mesmerises me as I hear a voice. It’s mine as I dare to speak.
‘Max.’ I whisper for the first time. I’ve never dared use it before because he ordered me not to. Even if that is not his real name, for nothing else here is real than so be it because I say it in order to reach him this time. I fear him now like never before. He looks so wild and lost.

Do I like it?
I’m so tried, I don’t know what I’m saying. I can’t do this anymore, but still he doesn’t answer.

Even in the deep gloom I can see the glitter in his eyes. Amber licked as he stares down at me.

Oh God he’s come for me.

I suck in hard.

But isn’t it what I want?

I judder as realization finally hits me. Breath is trapped as panic-stricken, I stumble to my feet and make for the shutters to the balcony. It’s useless but I run. Maybe I’ll die this time. He’ll kill me with rage and I can finally be free. To be with Kyle. But will he? Do I want to? The darkness inside is coming, I can feel it. But the catch has dropped and my hands shake so much so I can’t open it.

Thank you god. NO! Stop it!

I fumble again but am I trying? I mean really trying to escape?
I hear his breath behind me then his arms come around my waist so tightly it knocks the air from me. He lifts me straight off my feet and, with tremendous effort, whirls me round and carries me kicking and struggling to the bed.

‘God, Max, please.’ I whimper.

‘STOP CALLING ME THAT!’ He rages but he sounds different. His body feels different when his hands are on me.

Scream damn you

I want to but still nothing as he deposits me heavily onto the rumpled mound of silk. My head falls side wards between the valley of parted pillows. One falls over my face. I am plunged into soft blackness where there is no air. Then I feel his weight on me, his thighs pinning me down.

God we fit so good.

I tremble, twist and fight. ‘YOU‘RE GOING TO CALM DOWN, DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU’RE GOING TO CALM DOWM LIKE I TOLD YOU BEFORE AND YOUR GOING TO LIKE IT. THEN YOU’RE GOING TO SLEEP BITCH!’ His voice sounds crazed and haunted. Not like before but still honey dipped. Something wrong. I’m trembling but because I like it. Too much.

God help me this feels so right

Eyes wide. My overwhelming terror of what I’m now feeling invests me with a sudden superhuman strength. I knock away the stifling black of the pillow and force myself upwards, my hair wild over my face so that I can see nothing but patches of his bare chest.

God your so beautiful

I can’t help. I crave to touch it, touch him. So I lunge for it with my nails as two streaks of red appear almost like a cross, glistening.
‘No, don’t do this.’

I blink. That’s my line. His voice softens instantly. He sounds imploring now. I think suddenly that he’s more afraid than I am. The roles are finally reversed. Somehow, someway. He’s almost begging me as his whole being suddenly changes. Why? Something is really wrong. He is weak, not pressuring me, yanking me, pushing me, hurting me as I still lay buried beneath. I’m backing down with every breath. I should hurt him back, this is what I’ve been waiting for, my chance. So I have to make myself do the obvious.
With all my might I extricate one of my legs from under his and slam my foot into his tight abdomen. His beautiful body, weakened by shock and fading alcohol, falls back sufficiently for me to escape.

Am I glad?

I can not tell. God I am a whore. I must be by the way that I'm acting. This time I manage the catch on the shutters and fling them apart. The dress dislodged on its hanger, sweeps up and into the seething rain as I follow. But I’m not running as he staggers out into the curtain of wet after me.

‘you’re not doing this to me Tessa. Not again. I won’t let you….it’s all your fault.’ His eyes flash at me. I’m seared, branded once more. They look almost human. For the first time since the night that we first met as he seems to see me. Really see me. ‘God!…’
He stumbles. ‘…Lizziebelle…’

I make for the balcony steps. Almost there. Almost free when I stop. God I stop. I turn, amazed ,my fear seemingly evaporating.
‘What did you say?’ I tremble harder. He’s never used my name. Not once in all this time. Always hers. I hate her already as it’s always her that he sees. That he touches. That he feel’s.
But my stomach is knotting not in response to his husky voice finally saying my name but at the name that he called me. Lizziebelle. No-one called me that apart from him, I wouldn’t let them. Only ever him. Only ever Kyle. But this was Max calling me by that treasured name. How does he know? I can’t think from how my name sounds coming from his lips is making me feel. His beautiful lips. Lips that mine still have yet to touch. He won’t let them. I want him to say it again.

We stand with three feet of teeming rain between us. He stares at me with those beautiful eyes as if I’m an apparition, now beginning to wipe the running wet from his face.
Then he takes a step towards me, stretching a hand out to the saturated strands of my hair, as if he doesn’t understand what they are. Still unnerved and uncertain with reason to be after all that he’s done, I finally take a step back.

‘What did you call me?’ I ask again. I clamp my legs tight together to stop me from falling.
He stands still, shakes his head once. ‘Christ,’ he whispered. ‘Oh, god.’
He looks just like a little boy. Like the familiar. Then he half-turns and stumbles towards the balcony railing and vomits into the rain.

I can’t breath. I feel pain. His pain as I now have my choice. After all this time, after all that has happened. To run or to stay. Simple but why am I even thinking about it? Run damn you. He looks so lost and helpless. But Why? And Why do I even care?

Run damn you!

We stay like that for several seconds, Max bent over the balcony, increasingly drenched and beaten down and me, motionless, gazing and wondering as the rain drums through my dress. Still I can’t make myself move. Then almost immediate the ragging from above diminishes and the sodden trees once again come into focus, the sky behind then white and drained.

As I continue to watch him I feel a swift, intense sensation like the opening and closing of a claw inside of me. It takes, it holds, it washes over me. I don’t understand. My thoughts finally betray me in the worst way.
I can’t wait for him. I can’t wait for his touch. For him to touch me. To touch me everywhere and the pleasure it brings. God as he sears through my soul once again, the realization hitting me. All that pain. Fighting, fighting, all that fighting till finally it comes to this. The forbidden now a reality.

I can’t wait for you. God help me. I can’t. I can’t.

Over and over. Body trembling I begin to move gently. I’m beginning move there’s hope but I am moving towards him, not away. I have to touch him.

‘Run!’ He pleads as he senses me. I don’t. Then the ‘please’. He sounds almost haunted. I knew he must be, that he is from what he’s done to me and I’m caring to why. How could I? Am I as sick as he? The dizziness comes and joins the blackening as I continue to travel the wrong way. But I’m not listening, I don’t see as I go over to his stooped form, treading my dress into deeper pools on the shallow flooded ground. I still can’t breath as I instinctively reach out for him with shaky hand. I stop.

What are you doing? RUN!

But I can’t stop it, I don’t want to as I continue, now putting my arm tentatively around his shoulders. I feel myself suck in breath. I’M touching him for the very first time. Willingly and without hesitation, without being told. Ordered. Why damn you? And he’s letting me, not forcing me. He never lets me touch him. I should feel like I want to vomit too but I don’t. The trees and the sky were right.

God help me I want to touch him. I need to touch him. I am a whore but I can’t stop myself.

I feel his perfect muscles spasm tight.

Is it from me or is he cold? Why do I care?

I let out staggered breath but he doesn’t straighten up or look at me. Instead he gazes down at the sea of stones, washed white and clean in a place that I still do not know. The smell is so familiar as if it where yesterday that he first brought me to this place. I begin to smell the scent of cut hedgerow rushing past as if I’m back there

…followed by the scent of the sea; the fresh-air fishy tang that reminds me of beach holidays as a child. But now it makes me think of something else. He’s making me feel it as if it were the scent of lovemaking; hot bodies on cool sheets, clinging to each other in the sand while the gulls cry over head as if to mirror lovres long since past. Not that I’d know much about that and how it should be.

A girl’s song rises from the radio in sweet excitement as I open my legs in the passenger seat of his car. Each time he changes gear he slides his hand under my shirt; sometimes high, sometimes low and I let him. Silently I’m already begging for the next one. I feel languid and full of anticipation as I can’t help but move as close as I can to him, getting wet just at the thought of his next touch.

Wanting him to put his hand inside my panties, to feel the moisture. The moisture that he’s caused to form there. I really hate myself for feeling this way but I can’t stop. I am lost even further as I know that this is not me. Is it just from the result of the night before? Or is it because I miss Kyle so much still and Max is so much like him. Licking at my most treasured, private memories as I do like it and I don’t want it to end.

I look at him again still not believing that he picked me. Why did he? Why he’d chosen me? Helped me? And now I’m actually here with him. Can't believe it and how lucky I must be. Why had I said yes? But why even ask myself that, I knew exactly the reason why and it was so wrong. I knew that from the first moment that I saw him. But I didn’t care, he’s doing things to me already as I just knew only he could, now. God what was I doing? I miss Kyle so much and that’s why.

But it’s not my lost love touching me there, now but still I don’t care. I haven’t felt this way in a very long time. If ever. I feel sick at the thought and if I was to have known what was to become of me then I still would have said yes to those eyes of amber when asked if I wanted to leave tht party with him.

Suddenly I’m pulled back from fading memory as something odd happens when I swear him whisper the unimaginable to me.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 23-Jan-2002 2:57:25 AM ]
posted on 22-Jan-2002 2:41:23 PM by babyitsyou
The italics are things of the past


‘f- forgive me?’ He whispers tired and frightened as I wobble . I step back with the blackness that is only made worse by his words. Why is he saying that? I shudder. He doesn’t get to say that. I blink from not understanding. My knees give way as I wait for it to take me down. To tumble again for my face to slap the hard unforgiving white but his eyes are watching me.

Kyle is the white, Max the black as this time there will be no-one there to catch me. But there is as the black stops it. I can’t answer when he calls as everything is burning out. Blackening. No whiteness anymore. So hot. The blackness holds me again. I can’t get away. Do I even want to? Can I forgive? I struggle in its grip. It holds me tighter. I claw, push, cry out.

‘No, no, no,’ I scream in frustration. He can’t just go and say that. Not that. You have no right after what has past. I feel Kyle everywhere. I miss Kyle.

Everything feels brittle, sore, my bones, my muscles, my everything. I feel myself swaying as blackness is rushing towards me again as suddenly as a storm. I don’t understand as I’m muddled. Hot out-of-control. I feel myself falling. He gives me the warmth of his body before I can. I shiver hot.

‘Liz.’ I can’t see his face, but I feel him in the dark. I feel his arms hold me back from the edge of the abyss. He watches me. Then I’m back in the hot and the black again, but he keeps me on the surface, lets me lie against his body. When I cry out he shelters me. I hide my face to his shoulder. His arms hard around my back, his thighs rigid against mine. I try and struggle. What’s happening?

Everything must be white and pure again. I have a new sky to paint. I’m spiralling. But it’s too hot now. There’s a fire. Near. I can’t see the flames. The heat is coming for me. I need to be. In closer as it tries to take me. I shake as I see Kyle. Want our fires together, need to burn it out. I try to pull him down towards me but he holds me like he wants to stifle my passion. It doesn’t feel like Kyle. I begin to sob softly to the darkness as it comes for me. I’m taken.

‘What are we even doing here Maria?’ I ask again. The tempo thumping, moving the walls as I’m bumped by another stranger. This time I spill my uninteresting drink all over. He is instantly sorry. Is it because he sees me and wants to or because he is drunk. I can not tell. But Who would see me ? Little old straight laced Elizabeth Parker. A nothing. A nobody.

He tries it on anyway. Pitying me I guess. He’s okay but he’s not Kyle. No-one could ever come close. He brings me back a replacement from the bar. I take as Maria has left me standing. It’s the same but different as I drink it. It tastes funny but I still lick the glass clean, why wouldn’t I?

I need to get out of here. He is okay but I don’t want it. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want him. I don’t want anybody. I can’t be there, I shouldn’t be there but Maria had met a new honey and the rest is history. But he won’t leave me alone.

Suddenly, frighteningly I don’t trust him. I don’t trust anyone as break away from his grip of my wrist but he won’t let me. We’re bumped again as I then see the most beautiful face from across the room. From between the banging bodies and mingled shoulders.

My heart pounds as the heat inside me ebbs, then is fierce. He’s watching me. Still. I’m curious. The most gorgeous is looking at me. What to do? And then I know exactly why I’m here. To why I dare to venture out of my hole because he is. I’ve seen him round campus. Who hasn’t! The untouchable but I follow him round away. I can’t help myself, there’s just something about him. It’s always the new guy let everybody wants to know. I’m always out of sight but still close enough. He’s a friend of Maria’s new best thing, Michael. I’m like a little girl lost but his just that good. I can almost taste it. Taste him as I hate myself. I can’t have him, I don’t deserve it. I grab for the necklace that never leaves me.

I am lost to him again as he looks away to talk to some blond bitch that is running her tongue lightly across her teeth. She wants to taste him too, I can tell. Has she already? I want to puke. Thoughts invade me and immediately I feel jealously pang and scratch at my insides, my mind filling in the naked details for them together. But I never get jealous as I don’t allow myself to feel anything. Ever.

But still I put pictures of him working rhythmically over her slender, writhing body. Her breasts lolling, her tongue out while his probable tight bottom heaving up and down off of her. Lucky bitch as shake my head my imagination runs away with me further. Why am I feeling? I can’t. God his eyes are on me again as I pink up. Everywhere. I then stop my minds idiosyncrasy. Why is he looking at me still? I’m nothing when he seems like everything. To me, just like my Kyle. I swallow down hard.

But the leech on my arm pulls me away from them. Bastard, but what can I do? I stop as I never swear. He’s pulling me somewhere as I suddenly feel strange. I look back but my life’s breath has gone. He is out of view probably with his tongue down her throat already while I am nothing. Have nothing as this snake continues to pull me somewhere. I don’t want this but I can’t seem to say it. I feel worse, like I want to puke. Like I want to go him. But then I don’t, I can’t. Can I? God what’s happening to me. I feel dizzy. I have no control. I feel like I can’t function, like my bodies failing. And still I can’t stop it as we bang into the masses.

It’s like it’s happening to someone else and not to me. I try and struggle but no-ones helping except Maria. She’s my guardian angel since birth. She is suddenly there and finds his weakness in an instant as her knee finds it for her. One more time for good luck. She rocks but I need to stand on my own two feet. It’s about time but I am weak. Life has made me that way. Going through so much only now at seventeen does that to a person.

I need air because I feel like shit. I’m seeing things, horrible things and the Adonis has gone. That Bitch! God I’m a lost cause as I go to find the bathroom. Am I alright to go alone?
‘Hmm I think I can pee okay Maria but thanks for asking.’

But am I? I stumble. The room is now spinning as I look round desperately for her. I am not as I begin to sink down a wall when I feel someone’s arm catch my upper body and an arm slide under my legs. Those eyes then pick me up and turn my face to his chest. My surrender into the swirling blackness, my head on his shoulder, was blissful as he carried me away. I felt completely safe. For the first time in a long time. Just like Kyle.


When I open my eyes he is laying beside me, propped up on one elbow, stroking my brow and watching me. Still. Neither of us say a word. It was late as all he did was stroke my brow and brush the hair from my face. I gasp as he tucks it away behind my ear. How does he know that will calm me? My head hurts.

Yet the longer it continued, the closer he seemed to me, the more intense the small pinpricks of pleasure all over my body became. Closer. Closer as the door than swung open and Maria was standing there furious and judgemental.

‘What the fuck’s going on here?’ She was never too chosey with her turn of phase and I loved her for it but it had gotten us into so much trouble on numerous occasions and now she was in so much trouble. With me for busting in. And she was alone.

‘Maxwell?’ Michael now stood beside mirroring her.

We separate quickly, and immediately I feel guilty and unsettled but not because of what they’d said. Because we hadn’t already done what they were assuming . Was that awful of me? Was he feeling the same? Maxwell.

That was his name, the name of the only angel now walking the face of this earth. After Kyle. I dip. Max explained the situation and left with his eyes still smiling at me. Maria muttered something as he walked past then huffed something at Michael as he did to.

She busted in further, opening a window still mumbling as cold air rushed in. She then disappeared to get me some water. When she returned I was sitting on the edge of the bed crying. Still lost. Out of it. She mentioned later that night that I might had experienced my first and last taste of the ‘date rape’ drug but the spineless son of a bitch had gone. Lucky for him as Maria would have surly had his balls for a hood trophy. Crawled back into his pit or had already left with his next sorry unknowing victim. Or so we thought as that would be only the beginning of my taste of the dangerous. The forbidden.

I was crying because I felt like shit yes but there was something else. Something more. I wanted Max to come back and simply lay close to me while stroking at my brow, tucking my hair behind my ears again and again. I missed him already. He made my feel safe, like my Kyle had. My eyes were open. I now understood. Why the instant attraction, hell obsession with the guy when he arrived in town. There was just something about him. Different but the same. But he wasn’t Kyle. Kyle was dead and it was still all my fault.

We stayed in that room for a long time as the party continued to pound on below us. In fact we fell asleep there until I felt cold upon waking.

The open widow was now blowing in the deathly cold but that was not the only reason for my coldness. I’d dreamt of Kyle. I hadn’t for so long, I thought it was over. I would never be over it. Of how it happened all over again. How could I? It was so much worse this time but Maria hadn’t heard me scream out for him in the night as I was thrown from what I’d seen. From the fear once again of what had been but it was different this time. As, god help me I was now doing those precious, private, intimate things with Max.

But Max it was nothing to do with me and Kyle was the one that had been so cruelly and savagely taken from me. Still by my doing. I stumbled as my head throbbed. God it hurt so much as I staggered into what I hoped was the bathroom. It was.

I groaned as I now held my head and looked blearily into the mirror. God was this the morning-after-the-night-before-feeling which I had long forgotten? Looking round I saw the shower. God I needed something to calm me as the needles of water began to stimulate me more than usual. As warm tickles spread over my stomach, they appeared purposefully to find their way between my shaky legs.

Seeking out my lips which felt strangely sensitive, that desired to be touched. I hadn’t been in such a long time. No-one had except Kyle and me but touch them I did. But as my fingers disappeared I was thinking of Max. Wondering what the sensation of his fingers would be like sinking in and out of my folds. Of having his tongue there and his shaft of flesh parting them. Wondering if it would feel better than when Kyle was there. I hated myself for even thinking that. But they was also that deep-seated ache that I hadn’t felt for so long. It seemed to be awakening again when picturing Max as my body was coming in life.

‘Oh god Max.’ I almost screamed out as the slow had become the frenzied. A sudden thought stuck at my deepest cord. Kyle! God! I can’t do this. God! I’m so sorry. Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod what am I doing? Forgive me? I had to get out. Get away.

Still a little wet I dressed quickly, still dazed by the whatever to the point of pain. But I had a new mission. To get out. To leave. To hide as I should have done after it happened. From the beginning. All I deserve. All I was worth. I didn’t deserve to get a life, to be happy. To get to be one to live. Maria was still asleep, moaning out for Michael as I crept out.

I had no idea where I was in the house but the stairs where laid out before me and down them I flew. The dizziness consumed but I had to get out. There were sleeping bodies all around me As carefully as I could I climbed over them while my heart threatened to awaken them instead. I was almost free when I heard a sound.

At first it sounded like a fan but then I realized it was humming. The melodious and the soft but it was the tune that stopped me from leaving. The familiar was coming from a door in the corner slightly ajar. It sounded like, I sucked in hard not believing. It sounded like what Kyle used to do as I couldn’t stop my feet from moving towards it. With legs trembling I used my fingers to widen the gap in the doorway as the air rushed out to meet me. I couldn’t breath. I was what Kyle used to sing as a man looked up and smiled.

It was Max as he said ‘hello’ while continuing to hum right into my very being. I shuddered with it, more as his face-wide smile grew. I was knocked from my drugged daze into a completely new blanket of confusion as he suddenly stopped and turned fully round to face me. Still words failed me, as his dark eyes flashed, catching mine and fixing them so I was helpless to look away. If I even wanted to because what I saw made my solar plexus thrill and ebb.

He was beautiful, the face of an angel the torso tight, undulating with the confirmation of well-developed muscles from under his white open necked shirt. I remembered feeling them ripple and hard from when he was carrying me. I then had an almost irresistible urge to go over and touch him.
‘Are you okay?’ I sighed at the softness of his voice and the concern on his face. He stepped in closer to me. I could only nod as I lowered my gaze for just a second when feeling awed by this Adonis before me.

‘I’m glad. I was worried.’ His reply simple but just being in the same room as him seemed to set every nerve fibre of my body alight as I trembled. Only Kyle had ever done that to me as my body betrayed me again. My secret place between my legs felt like an inferno of heat and sensual pleasure. I feel him step in closer. I closed my eyes as he brushed his fingers through her hair that had fallen over my face. I hold breath as he again tucks it behind my ears. That was Kyle’s thing.

My head was screaming at me to turn and run. Not to look at him as it was my heart and my eyes that were to betray me. But there was no excuse, it was still me that let them as they now were now open and fixed on him. For whatever reason I was drawn to him as my need to touch him, to have him touch me. I venture closer.

I feel his hand gently touch at my lower back as I feel the warmth of his body spark at mine. He takes me to himself and I let him. And there we stood just sensing each other. God what the fuck was happening to me as in the stillness of the room only his gentle breathing and the dull thump of my heart was audible.

I sensed him deeper. His breathing, his heat, his scent as my stomach rose and fall against his, each of his rises matching my falls. We were now that close. He did nothing but hold there still lightly at my back as the fingertips of his other hand grazed against my hand. I couldn’t breath as the moment was pierced, damaged by movement coming from upstairs. I feel him tense up. I follow suit when he then speaks.

‘You want to go somewhere?’ He whispered softly into my ear; the lightness of his tone sounding so welcoming. So familiar somehow almost like the way that Kyle had asked me to do things. I could never refuse him as I couldn’t Max now.

‘okay.’ I forgot the logical as unconsciously I start walking backwards towards the door. He smiled so brightly that if I died and went to heaven right there and then I’d be happy as he spun me round without taking his eyes off of me. It makes my stomach turn as my pulse raced.

What the hell are you doing? Leave him. Run away but there was a trill between my legs once more that I hadn’t felt in so long. The soft, the teasing that I’d missed so much. I felt myself tighten as his eyes took me to a higher place. Higher than Kyle’s? I didn’t know as I buried that answer deep so even I couldn’t find as my god I want this man more than I’d ever wanted anything in the world before. I gulp harder as with one last look he pulls me out of the room.

Even more than yearning to bring Kyle back as I lay screaming damaged, wounded barely alive. Alone in that hospital bed. All that is now forgotten as he takes me swiftly out through the main door and within the next second we are in an open-topped car speeding away.


The next time I feel Max’s hand steal up my thigh, I clamp my legs together to keep it there, trying to squirm down to his knuckles, needing to touch him for a moment longer. Why am I even doing that, it’s not me, it can’t be me. I flash my eyes at him, moisten my lips, wanting him to feel my excitement, my gratitude.

But there is a hardening in his dark eyes and his head moves from side to side. His fingers, almost as if to punish me for something, withdraw quickly. But not before he gives me a light nip there; it’s playful but it hurts and I know it will leave a mark.

‘ My, my, aren’t we the inquisitive one.’ He says. The man is a master of keeping me at the edge of stimulation I know that already. I take a deep breath, having to still my nerves. Even hearing his voice was sending shivers to places I never knew existed. God who was this guy? They raced up to my neck and down again, curling me under, making my labia swell and throb. He’s smiling, but his dark hair flopping onto his brow shadows his gaze and makes him look stern and mysterious. Almost annoyed.
But that’s not why I gasp. Kyle never liked me to take the initiative other as he used to look upon me just like that.

‘ Where are we going?’ I mumble, finally asking after what seemed like hours of driving as I pull my skirt, bring my knees together and turn away to look at the scenery; the long grasses, thrashing together at the roadside, deep and vigorous as we pass.

‘You’ll see.’ Suddenly this doesn’t feel like such a good idea or am I just spawned.

Then the car rises on a bend and we look down, they are merely a surface, ripping like fibres on a carpet. Way off towards the horizon lies the slit of silver ocean, still and distant with shiny promise. And I daydream- I fantasise as I often do now that Kyle is gone. Only now, more than ever I want to be with him. Then at least then I wouldn’t be betraying him so badly will thoughts of me and Max. Together. I feel my eyes sting with it as I then judder back hard into the seat when I now begin to see Kyle die right in front of me all over again. God oh god, oh god!

My eyes jolt open and the thrashing grasses at the roadside have gone. We are just above, riding at full speed past the banking, dipping sands that seem to smooth out for miles towards the sea.
For moment I’ve forgotten where I am, who I’m with. I stare at Max as if he’s a stranger. He is but I still went with him as he asks if I’m okay.

‘Sorry, I was in a dream. I’m back now.’ I laugh but I feel strangely cold, even afraid. He again smiles back at me and the car is slowing down. My heart soars as god help me I want him to stop driving, to hold me against him, kiss my mouth, my neck, slowly undo all my buttons, to my waist, take time to kiss my breasts. I am lost as the car draws into the side of the road.

I can’t breathe to what might be as there is now a gate at the start of a long driveway, it’s opening flanked by some roughly cut-back bushes. The car screeches from the smooth flat road into the gravel.

I see such a curious mixture of neglect and conversation as if it’s owner wants to hide their self away from the world. Then the final destination is in view as I see the house. It stands alone with pillars fronting the heavy oak door, a door obstinately closed on this warm June day. Funny that. The tall windows at the front are curtain less and dull looking. There are no cars, no people, no sound apart from the radio as the car rolls to a halt. I then know that we are there completely alone.

My eyes open. It’s dark, three-quarters dark. There are shadows. I don’t know where I am. There is … there the outline of a man looking down. I scream again.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 23-Jan-2002 3:08:31 AM ]
posted on 22-Jan-2002 5:38:43 PM by babyitsyou
Again the italics mean things of the past.


After teaming seconds dipped in silence we leave to car.
‘Who’s place is this?’ I ask jolly to mask my nervousness.

‘A friends.’ With gentle eyes and the soft voice again. We climb the steps. He must see me freeze. ‘it’s okay.’

‘Are they here?’ Why ask that when I don't want there to be as the blood seems to drain from me. I gaze fixedly at the door, now unable to believe I have actually come here with the half-formed, crazy ideas I have in my head. God I'm wishing that I'd told Maria, she must be blowing a stack. But she would have only stopped me.

‘no.’ His tone ebbs me as the door opens. I want to turn, to run. With wide eyes I can’t help but glance round us. I tremble just a little. ‘we can go back if you want.’ he adds solemnly.

Can he hear my thoughts? My eyes find him again. His face is full of concern while stepping towards me. I stare at him and my breath comes faster. I feel exhilarated but frightened too. I don’t want to go. I feel him sense the change as I gently shake my head. He seemly relaxes. He’s smiling with palm out stretched.

‘Let me show you round then.’ He is standing right beside me now, so close I can feel the warmth of his body. I feel oddly comforted. His hand cups mine, then moves over my wrist, back and forth, down again, a gentle soothing action as if he knows I’ve been injured and he is trying to heal me. Can he? I feel the quickening in my blood, the urge to go nearer. Get closer. He is standing so very close that I can feel his breath on my lips.

‘okay’ I whisper with dancing eyes. I gaze down at our hands through the veil of my hair and I know I am not going to leave

‘Lizzie, it’s me… Kyle.’
I gaze up at the figure. He is breathless, dishevelled. I turn my head to look at how he has pinned down my wrists as if to hold me down. Not again as my head hurt. My body shakes and my eyes stab.

‘My eyes hurt.’ I whisper. I’m lost. What did he say about Kyle? He lies down beside me in the dampness and the twisted sheets. I’m still falling. I’m wearing the white nightdress. It’s soaked through. My hair sticks to my head. I peer over Kyle’s shoulder…. But it's not Kyle leaning over me. Pulling at me, his hair wasn’t raven, almost black. Kyle? My body burns.

There are slats of light. I try to remember. The cloud is thick over me. Why are these shutters closed? Where they before? It’s summer. Isn’t it? Where am I ? Kyle? Why does it feel like winter? So black.

It takes Max an hour to show me that whole house while filling in what little information I ask of it. It is so empty and mournful but I’d be in awe if he read me the phone directory. The front rooms of the house are warm and inviting much better than at the rear which are almost hideous in contrast. Open and lonely, all in varying stages of neglect. A few have no floor coverings and bare walls but there are odd pieces of furniture dotted.

As we pass a room I see it only contains a four-poster bed, swathed in silk and lace standing on bare boards. It is positioned next to the brazen light of an uncontained window. I can’t respond to it. Do I remember it from somewhere? I just stare and bit my lip. The pictures are back of him and others who came before me. Images of hurried, squalid love making excite. I swallow hard as they tilt my entire world. How many? I push out the contains of my lungs as it looks as if it is never used now. I'm slightly dizzy. Am I happy? Yes, god yes as I just want to sky-drive right onto it. But he leads me away.

Suddenly drained as we enter the lounge I go and sit on the boxy sofa as he asks if I’m thirsty. For you yes. But he’s seemingly not on the menu as I chose wine from the list he reels off. The phone book next please. I wonder how he has such things in a house that wasn’t even his and in a house where parts of it looked like that would collapse. But those eyes just lost the logical for me. I chose wine. I never drink wine but am I trying to look confident. Older, so he’ll want me? God am I that desperate?

Alone I’m free to remember the last time that I was in a house like this, long ago. With Kyle as we sneak into it. ‘It’s okay it belongs to a friend of mine.’

But I don’t care I’d go anywhere with him. I smile at the remembrance of happier times. Of the best time. The first time. The bed is large and deep, lush in careless folds of satin and silk. I am shivering. Is it the adventure, the trill of being in someone else’s house as Kyle places his body beside me like a shield. He was always protecting me.

There we lay as he begins to undo each button of my dress, from the swell of my breasts down to the top of my pants. For a moment Kyle just stares at me. My underwear is brief and thin, almost as thin as tissue. He lets his hand rest just above. I wonder how much of my moisture is visible to him. I’ve wanted this moment to happen since we were children. Is that bad of me?

I lift my hips a little, wanting him to touch me there. But still he remains completely still, his light eyes soft, his strong regular features almost boyish with wonder. Taking time to look at me, into my eyes. Eyes that always make me feel special; to touch me, my skin, every inch of it as he exposes it; taking in my growing feverishness, my expectation, he gradually peels away my outer shell.

This edges me towards the beginnings of a slow, wonderful orgasm. By the time he takes my nipples into his mouth one after the other, dampening the thin gauze of my bra with his kisses, my legs are bent and open. My hands clutching at and pushing his partly clothed body down towards me.

When I am almost out of my mind with longing, the tips of his fingers steal into my panties. To where my juices gather like honey glaze inside the gauze and trickle out. He only needs to touch me lightly around my opening for me to be on fire; thrusting my hips, my sex up towards his hand.
‘Please.’ I whisper. ‘Please, now, go inside me.’ I can’t believe now on fire he’s got me as he speaks.

‘ I want to make it as good as it can be for you.’ He is gentle. I moan as he is allowing me to place my hand on the top of his belt, then move it down to the bulge of his cock. I jerk up to look upon him as I see it’s Max's face above me.

I want to cry out as I sit bolt upright. I can’t breath. What the fuck?
‘ You okay?’ The honey dipped is back and holding out a glass for me to take. I just nod and take it feeling myself blush up even more.
Hnow sat opposite me now sipping on his drink.

‘nowhere, just a dr-’

‘dream,’ he concluded just sitting there studying me languorously. I take a gulp from mine, its tastes funny. Sweet but it red wine supposed to taste so sickly sweet? I don’t know, I’m not expert. That’s probably why I’m there. Do I care? Then the sweet goes straight to my head.

‘ you seem to be doing that a lot don‘t you.’ He seemed amused by me, his eyes smiling lazily, assuring me of his pleasure. But I didn’t want to be an amusement or a dead-cert lay or did I ? God everything was so muddled as I suddenly began to seriously doubt my actions, my reasoning for even being here.

But the need in me was pressing, bearing down on me with such a force that I was finding it harder and harder to contain it. Again I play with the necklace, Kyle’s necklace at if to calm these new feelings that are raging from deep within. I catch Max eyeing me there. The necklace is private, my life is private as I tuck it away again. For a moment his eyes seem alien to me, baring down on me as if to punish. But it passes without a mention within a smile.

We just sit and talk about nothing, barely making full sentences me still sat across from him. He continues eyeing me up, exuding a confident sexuality that I had not seen before. His almost black eyes continue to follow and hang on my every movement and I liked it. God what did that make me? Just pay me and be done with it or should I be the one paying?

I carry on fidgeting with my wineglass hopelessly finding things to do and to look at. No wonder why he was smiling. I was a joke. I tucked my hair behind me for like the hundredth time as my mind hunted over all the permutations of the how’s , the when’s and the why’s. Were we eventually going to get to bed?

‘Stop it’ silent thought only unto me. I sip on the liquid once more but I hate wine. The taste makes me flinch. Makes me want to puke as the room begins to immediately spin. I see him staring as the second glass is taken down too. In one gulp. The room is spinning harder now.

He broke any thoughts from me by taking my glass out of my hand, setting it purposely on the coffee table. How did I not see him cross the room? Things are getting decidedly patchy.
‘Now I think we’ve talked for long enough don’t you? What would you like me to do for you?’
My god, what would I like him to do to me? I didn’t know what I wanted, why I was even there. My head spun, my stomach turned over.

He took my hand and slipped it between his legs. Finally. I trembled at the touch of his hardness.

‘How do you like to be taken by me? Long and slow, or hard and brutally?’

Oh my god. How would I like to…?

He slipped his zip down and slid my hand inside of his tight leather pants. My hand trembled more to his hardness, feeling it bang back against my palm. I close my eyes and breathed in deeply. He was hot and he was huge.

God help me.

My hand closed on it. I couldn’t not. He smiled. I trembled violently now. Could I go through with this? Whatever this was. He moved so that I could delve deeper. A thick hand stroked at my cheek, traced the outline of my lips, ran down my neck into the cleavage of my blouse. Cleavage that‘s a laugh. I breathed in sharply with the touch. The new but yet the same. I can feel Kyle. My head prickled.

His fingers undo the buttons one by one. He did it slowly so that I felt each give way, my breasts becoming more visible and more available, with each release. I was lost.
The heat of his sac in my hand made my fingers curl. It was like I had magic fingers, fingers only made for him. To work him as the heel of my hand rubbed down his shaft. I’d never done that before. I used to hate touching Kyle’s. Not his fault, just me but here I was with a stranger playing, rolling allowing his balls in my hand. My fingers were telling me it was large and fleshy. He had a very thick stem. Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod.

It felt so good. How would it be deep inside of me? If I ever got there. God what's happening to me? My head was throbbing and my body almost shutting down on me. What the hell was I doing touching a stranger and letting him fondle me? His hand was on my left breast now, pulling at the nipple, his mouth glistening as I saw him lick his lips. Oh god, is he drooling over me.

As he rose and slipped down his leathers, the thick shaft sprang out, purple and pulsing. His stomach now bared as he parted his shirt. God he was so beautiful.

My shirt was up, my panties down in a flash as he pulled my flat on the settee, unresisting but still uncertain. He was getting steamed up, his beautiful eyes sparkling with the sight of my breasts lolling out of the open blouse, my mound naked under his gaze.

I was wet, god so wet for him, just him and with anticipation. But shaking with trepidation too. Did I really want this? God yes but I felt so utterly out of control. I decide not as I can’t even feel me anymore. Why you idiot? but I see Kyle’s face. I feel him all round. I couldn’t. I can’t God damn it yes I can as Max's amazingly thick stalk looms over me.

I felt him part my legs with his knees and bore down with his hands on my shoulders. God this feels so right but I can't feel me. I can't find me. I had to stop. Make him stop. I’m prickly hot and dizzy. I’m falling heavy, fading fast. I feel myself slipping deeper into the unknown. Then it’s deepest black.

But now he was in in, driving deeply. I wriggle and try to get free but it only made him drive more.
‘No. No,’ The outside battles with the in as Yes, yes bangs on in my head. He only laughs and pushes into me deeper. My whole being felt on fire, a light with every stroke.
‘please…’ He only bores in harder. There was an explosion of energy deep inside of me as I tried to speak again.

Trying to claw. My whole body bursting into life. In the shallows of the warm pool, him thrusting over me, his shaft at me like waves on the shore that was not that far away. Rushing up and receding rhythmically. Still the words fail to come as I feel like I am. Oh god! My hair fanning round me, pushing upwards and catching hard behind my back with every painful stroke. I was exploding. Was it painful? Could I even feel pain? I felt numb as sensations were lost.

But still no matter how much I clawed I still opened my legs and took Max in completely. But I don’t want to. I didn’t want this. I lied. But my body was saying one thing and my mind another. I didn’t feel right, it didn’t feel real, This wasn’t love, this was something else as it suddenly went so very black

‘Lizzie!’ he moves me up on his shoulders. ’did he hurt you?’
I want to look at him but I can’t move my head or my mouth anymore. I feel myself start to fall again. To what? From where? I clutch him, I want to know he’s real. But he’s not. He doesn’t feel like Kyle, he’s bigger. His arm comes around me.
‘Baby talk to me did h-he… did I-I hurt you?’ He murmurs. His voice is the same but different and full of sorrow. But still I can’t speak, my throat is burning. My body is shivering cold. He feel his breath beat hot. It fans me into the hotter, the unbearable.

‘okay, okay, it’s going to be okay god-’ I feel him pulling at me, almost in to the frantic ‘But I have to get this off of you. Do you think you can help me?’
I feel him shudder. I feel his hands move me gently, work the damp cotton over my head.

I am naked then, more soft, light dryness encases my skin. I feel his fingers, adjusting, pulling something near my neck, over my breasts. Same hands but different. Kind not unforgiving. I want then to be held. Kyle? Is that you? I want to feel his touch on my poor raw skin. I want him inside me, healing me. Max?

My sick body is encased in a sheath of smooth cool material but I’m still lost. He rolls me gently over. My eyes are tight. I can feel Kyle all around me. I can almost taste it. Hopelessly falling. I call out his name to the darkness.
‘I’m right here Lizziebelle. Sleep now. You need sleep.’

Are you? But your dead. You died. This can’t be. And he doesn’t sound the same. I hear his breath beside me. Kyle. It feels like Max. He slides into my darkness, wraps himself around me. I’m slipping into the unknown once more.

My eyes are dry and groggy. Their open I know they are but I can’t see. A black abyss. My eyes wide but seeing only darkness. Confusion and fear fill me but I can’t remember anything. I feel funny. I feel pain.

They’re rubbing against something tight and holding. I feel my head jerk back. I am blindfolded. And bound. Wrists tied behind me to a chair I think. I pull on my shackles, my bounds tighten as I pull. It hurts. Everything hurts. Inside and out. I wriggle but to no avail. My heart starts to thud; irregularly, loudly. Where am I? what’s happening? I feel so sick, worse than last night.

I hear the door open and the sound of slow, loudening footsteps come nearer. There is a rustling noise as something is being scraped along the floor towards me.
‘Who’s there?’ Then I feel him move over me from no where. Feel and smell the warmth of his body as after just a moments hesitation he clamps his arms firmly around my upper body. Max! I remember now. I think, it's blurry. I feel so very strange.

‘ Max- Untie me please.‘ I murmur my whole body raw. Nothing as heat pulses from me to him then back. His grip tightens as my sex begins to spasm rhythmically. Desperately trying to stop it but I can’t.
‘Please. Why are you doing this? I’m scared…I feel…’ Suddenly the tight arms are gone from around me. Then I can’t see it. Only feel it as one side of my face explodes into the red as he hits me hard across there.

‘SHUT YOUR MOUTH BITCH. YOU TALK WHEN I SAY YOU CAN!’ I feel his anger from his mouth land on my burning cheek. I’m almost blacking out.

I try to talk but half of my face now feels dead as I feel a prickle at the flesh on my shoulder. The scratch deep there as the dizziness then comes for me. I’m taken as I feel like I've been drugged.


[ edited 3 time(s), last at 23-Jan-2002 3:18:08 AM ]
posted on 22-Jan-2002 8:33:12 PM by babyitsyou
The present still mixing with the past held in iltalics.


I fall through the clouds, layers and layers. I am letting it all go. The pounding heart, the dizzy head. Gradually the heat inside ebbs me, then is feverish only for seconds at a time, too short a time for terror. And Kyle is there with me. I can feel him. I will not burn.

The wetness is easier. It’s like the wetness on the ledge of the sea pool receding to a glaze at noon, caressing your sex lips, making you want to open your legs.

Kyle is above me, his cock hard. His hand on my slit. The water lapping and lapping. My thighs spreading, my knees bending up with need. Writhing harder and harder on the palm of his hand. On fire between my legs. The clouds have given way to blue sky and the sun on fire behind his head. I want his cock, try to pull him down towards me. Want our together. The together forever. My opening is aflame.

‘Easy Lizzie. Just lie back.’ but it doesn’t sound like Kyle. Oh but it is.It has to be.
‘Fuck me… Fuck me, please.’ I hear a voice moan. I gasp as it is me that I hear. I try to free my hand, trapped against my chest. I must find his cock, take it down. Take it in. I know he is hard for me. I shudder with effort but still I can’t move.
‘Please,’ I implore him. ’Please.’

A gush of sea water, small but frenzied, warms my clit, makes me need him more.
‘Max?’ I moan. The impossible fantasy. He shudders. I feel it wash at his thigh. I begin to sob with frustration.

‘It’s alright sweetheart. It’s just the drugs.’ I feel him shiver.
‘You have a fever, god I’m so sorry. It’s not your fault, none of this is your fault. It’s mine. Shhhh It’s alright, just lie back.’ He’s trembling harder than me.

I stop struggling and go limp. Now the sun has gone and I’m back in the dark. Why doesn’t want me? Kyle? Is he the stranger lying beside me? Because Max doesn’t want me. On his side, stroking my brow, unaware of how I ache to be filled. I shiver. I twist my head from side to side.

‘ I only wanted you inside, to fill me up. Make me feel good.’ I say softly to the darkness. I cry quietly, letting it all ebb away. Nobody wants me. I’m burning arching up.

‘Oh Jesus.’ I hear him say. Still not sounding like my Kyle. Then slowly, with quivering tenderness, I feel his fingers trace a path down my face, my eyelids, my mouth, my neck. He opens some loose fastening on the garment over my breasts, slips a hand inside. One nipple, the other. Uncertainly he lays his hand down.
‘Oh God!’ He moans as the sobbing stops.

An awesome grateful sound of a woman’s aching sound can be heard. Not just from her mouth but from her very soul. I’m unaware that that woman is me.

He slides a hand under my back, gently tugging the covering from my body. As he bunches it up and hurls it away. A wet edge of it flicks over my thighs like a tongue. His eyes shine a different from the surrounding black, a wondrous dark vibrance as he comes down to me. I see him, then I don't.

He drinks the residue of storm water still warming my lips, runs his tongue over the flame between my legs. In a joyous ache inside me, my desire surges and retreats, to surge again.

‘now, now.’ God what I’m I saying?
He hesitates, close his eyes as if in pain.

‘I- I can’t.’ He’s fighting it. I know he wants it. He’s pulling away. But then lies over me. The tip of his penis comes carefully inside me. My hips heave towards it wanting more, but he stills me with a strong movement in the small of my back.

‘No, Let me come to you. You’re not strong enough.’ Slowly I feel him fill me up, holding me very tight as if I’m going to fall. He moves very gently, cautiously, but I feel his hardness deep inside of me. The pressure intense then slightly less, intense again.
‘That’s it, let me. Just let it happen.’

I lift back his head, tangle my fingers inside his softness. His hair is a little different now.
‘I can’t wait long.’ I tell him. My voice shakes. He misunderstands, I feel him pull back a little.

‘ I’m hurting you.’

‘No. No.’ I wriggle against him, needing to get the feeling back. I feel him tremble.

‘My God, you’re so beautiful.’ Then his face comes over mine. Moving himself slowly back and forth inside me. I feel hot then cold. There is a faint ringing in my ears. I mustn’t pass out, I mustn’t. He begins to move more urgently inside me.

‘So good, so good,’ he whispers. ‘You know it’s me don’t you, Lizziebelle? Me, only ever me.’

I can’t answer. I can’t tell. I clutch his shoulders as he bears down on me. I start to cry out, feel him open me right up. We cry out together. What? I can’t hear. His face is wet. I can’t see. Don’t. Don’t think you’re causing me pain. But at the point of orgasm, when we both clutch each other, wracked in unbearable ecstasy, tears course down my cheeks too.

‘g -god I’ve missed you so much.’ He whispers as soon as he recovers himself, steadying his breathing. But he doesn’t leave me. Still buried deep.

‘Kyle.’ I murmur as a shaky hand touches at his cheek.

He’s violently shaking. A single word spirals me. ‘ no.’

Suddenly my distorted senses tell me someone’s in the room as I allow my limp neck to jerk upwards. My heads twists and whirls a round in total darkness. I’m still blindfolded and there isn’t a part on my body that doesn’t hurt. That isn’t burning. Pain is throbbing me into tears. How long have I been like this? What has he done to me? Awake or otherwise. I sense he’s there with me. Isn’t he?

I can’t seem to function. I dip as I know something’s been given to me. I can feel it raging through my veins, burning me inside and out. I hold my breath, dazed by a mixture of fear, excitement and expectation. Of what? Of who? I wriggle, I moan, I sob. I wish desperately that my hands were free and my eyes were uncovered. I can’t talk as I retreat inside my head. The drug feels like it taking me away. I want them to. I need to be with Kyle. Don’t I?

Suddenly I feel a slight grazing sensation between my tied open legs. Abandonment as I then feel it again, satin tightening and moving along my lips pressing then leaving my clit so it seems. Words are caught deep. Am I naked? It feels like it.

‘Are you getting wet bitch?’ He whispers tight in my ear. My unconscious ebbing into momentary half- sleeps. Sharpening in tiny bursts at the growing urgency held deep within. I murmur as I can’t hold myself as I feel his breath lap at my neck.

'M-’ The pain held at my jaw still stops me. Oh Christ when will the first blow come? What have I done? Talk when he tells me. I hear him smile. That licks at my insides for all the wrong reasons.

'good girl’ I shudder. I feel like Maria. I suddenly feel strong. Brave. Stupid.

'What, you gonna pat me on the head and let me the fuck go you sick son of a bitch.’ I’m breathlessly panting. Riddled with shock. It must be the drugs. I can’t be me, I’m not that stupid. Am I? Well I got in the car didn’t I.

It doesn’t hurt so bad this time. He’s been other kind or stupid and hit me hard across the same place. I want to laugh. I would if it wasn’t so tragic and he’d find a place that would hurt. But does the thought of him losing control excite me? I become warm and swollen between the legs, the soft expectant ache this monster gives me spreading through my lower body.

Then I feel the palm of his hand clamp down hard there. I gasp. He smiles more.
'Don’t let it show on your face bitch. Remember this keep in control. And absolutely, definitely do not come.’ His voice barely audible has a cold demanding edge to it and for a moment this is enough to still my growing arousal. For him! I want to puke.

'DO YOU UNDERSTAND TESSA?’ I judder with every single word. Especially at what he calls me. Again that name. Has he confused me with someone else? Is she the one that has made this beautiful creature twisted, damaged.

I gasp as the description sounds just like me. What did she do to him? Why do I care?

But as his firm hand begins to work alternately with the rhythmic massage of my lips by the now exceedingly taut band of satin. God what is that held there? How does he know that will ebb me so?

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod I find it almost impossible to keep my face immobile, my voice silent and my exquisitely tortured body writhing and craving his… God what is he doing to me? How is he able to ? Fear makes you do crazy things… I feel betrayed as my juices seep, then leak copiously into my satin strap, soaking his fingers. God this can’t be happening. This can’t be real. How can I feel so much. Want so deeply?

The only way to prevent myself pulsating towards climax is to bring to mind images of Kyle and the night of the accident. It is the only way to stop my body betraying me because now I know I don’t want it. I don’t want Max. I see the car, us in the car as I then see the bridge….I want to scream.

Thank you god as I don’t know how but I maintain my rigid position, while inside me colours of yellow and red flood in unison. What the fuck? I’ve never had these before I let bang in my head while I climb a mountain. Then quiver a while on a plateau; while stars on the point of explosion suddenly melt. Just when I think such seething ecstasy can’t be borne much longer as I hate myself more. I must make myself faint, it’s the only way.

I close my eyes up tight behind my protective barrier. The only place I feel safe, that he can’t get to me so as I can bring on the images of us at the party when Kyle is drinking too much, I screaming at him as the car it aiming for the bridge….

I can’t help but let out the tiniest of groans, it feels so good. As I do his hand and the friction of the satin strip slowly cease. I expect the worst as I’m still climbing the walls. I hold in breath.

There are long black seconds of silence.

I feel my bounds snap. Next I’m being pulled up, over and down. I wriggle and snaked and shake but he still bumps me down hard on my back. The already tight band around my head tightens more and the long, gauzy trails of it are snaked deftly around my wrists. Not being able to see can heighten your senses. Is that why I’m feeling this way?

My arms are drawn smartly above my head and the ends of the strip are attached to something. When I dare to stretch out my fingertips I realize that I am anchored to the floor.

I feel Max’s first touch on my inner thigh.
Kyle car kyle car me car bridge kyle car kyle kyle kyle.
I think over and over. I spread my legs further, my overwhelming desire for gratification together with the impossible planting its seed. Stealing what inhibitions that I have. I keep thinking of Kyle as I open my legs further.

The wet satin is lifted from my folds and the tip of a hand, hard and purposeful, enters me and I shudder. A mouth wets and caresses my hard nipple and I moan, unable to help it. Still unsure if I’m naked or not as he rips it out of me. Soon to know as the blindfold is ripped from me.

The light stings heavy at my eyes instantly clearing as I see him above me. I suck in hard at the face of an absolute angel, the cocooning of a monster. His eyes lick at my innards as one question is answered as he pulls my blouse apart.

I still have a shirt but no bra. Where’s my bra? What the fuck do I care. But my memory is patchy. Lost. The buttons ping around the room. My stomach turns as I see that I’m in the room with the big satin bed in it. I AM next.

I lose balance, shuddering in ecstasy as I go into the cool inky depths of wanting to be the next. God help me as I’m getting my wish and still he says nothing. Just smiling while lightly tilting his head towards me.

Then I see the knife.

When I wake again, half of the room is filled with sun, the other half already in shade. No longer in complete darkness. The shutters are wide open and it’s early afternoon. I turn just a little.

My head thick and my body caked in a film of something as I have no remembrance. I am filled with confusion.

The room smells fresh, slightly scented. The tangled sheets and clothes are gone from the floor. There is a large vase of feathery- looking flowers with blue and white heads on the dresser. Were they there before? Where is there anyway? I feel like it's a dream as I smile at them anyway. they are my favourite flowers after all as I stretch my arm across the bed.

Please let me know what you think either way.
Hopefully back with more if the different is liked.

[ edited 8 time(s), last at 23-Jan-2002 4:07:53 AM ]
posted on 23-Jan-2002 2:24:10 AM by babyitsyou
You kind of there but no cigar.

Thanks for all the feedback so far though, it does mean a lot and I'd still love to know what you all think out there or am I just alone in the dark here?

[ edited 3 time(s), last at 23-Jan-2002 4:10:05 AM ]
posted on 23-Jan-2002 4:11:16 AM by babyitsyou
Thanks Snugglebaby I guess I'm not that alone after all.
Am I?
posted on 23-Jan-2002 7:20:21 AM by babyitsyou
Lets have a party in here because I'm not alone in the dark here.

The feedback is knocking me sidewards.


Now we can really get this thing started.

I think I'm the only one that has seen the film aren't I?
If I tell you the idea then you'll get it for sure.
Bascially in it Charlie Sheen's character ( Max ) is not who he seems to be.

He's someone else who has lived before ( Kyle )

That's where the similiarity ends.

The questions to why Max is that man? Now that would be telling.

Now I have a question for you.

I have the next part but this is where is starts to get a little different. When the S&M comes into the frame.

It's not pretty by any means but please just remember back to the beginning.

This is a not-so-ordinary love story. Very dark and angsty

It's here for a reason.

Things are not as they appear.

Should I post it or not? I hope that it's a yes.

But ggod or bad I'd love to know what you think.

Thanks again and I wish you all a happy day.

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 23-Jan-2002 8:51:22 AM ]
posted on 23-Jan-2002 9:49:25 AM by babyitsyou
Thanks so much Wayliz,
But I guess it's just you and me alone in the dark again.
If you want I can email you it because I don't think that sort of different is liked.
Let me know if you do and any other parts.
Although another question Just what is classed as going too far on here?
I don't know. How can I find out?
I think I might have already crossed some sort of line in the next part.

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 23-Jan-2002 9:51:12 AM ]
posted on 23-Jan-2002 11:03:55 AM by babyitsyou
Thanks for the feedback
But why confusing?
Please let me know why because I don't like to confuse. But the clouds will hopefully clear anyway as I go on.
And I now know how far I can go. Oh boy!!!!
Thanks again for the advice.

[ edited 4 time(s), last at 23-Jan-2002 1:26:49 PM ]
posted on 23-Jan-2002 11:21:27 AM by babyitsyou
Okay here goes and I think it is a little different as I said before.
Warning: This part contains the beginnings of the S&M mentioned before, bondage etc so please don't read it if it might affend

But please remember this is a love story, very unique and twisted but one one the less.
PLEASE can I have some feedback and again the italics indicate things past.
Oh and there is an explaination note about the story of sorts on page 2.


'Oh god!'

I say to no- one, to nothing. Acutely conscious that I was almost naked apart from my panties. Then I feel my shirt bunching round me open all the way down but my skirt is gone. My breasts just lolling, my stomach heaving with a mixture of fear and excitement. Why is that?

My breath is stolen. So far, from what I can remember, things still hazing, he was not yet hurt me. Really hurt me. But what if he suddenly lost control in a fit of
'…do monsters have feelings? Emotions?' I wonder.

I suck in as, almost delicately he slips the knife blade under the band of my panties. At least he’s put then back on. Not for long. But didn’t they rip and tear before? My head hurts so bad now. I can’t tell what’s right or wrong. What’s real or induced. And still he says nothing. He has my eyes. He gently slices and with one flick they just drop away. My stomach tightens like a drum.

I can’t help but watch my black mound emerges through. Now he’s looking at only my crotch which opens to the smiling eyes. I can’t help it. He only had to move slightly and his mouth could take me. I begin to pant. Was it the touch of the blade across my labia which makes me freeze. Or is it the way he’s looking at me? At it? His breath hot on my flesh. Immediately I feel myself swell. It was stimulating rather than painful and my body was just responding to it, to him.I can't be feeling turned on by this. Can I?

He flicks at me again, and again, each touch setting my labia afire. The cold and the hard against the hot and the wet. As there anything more delicious in this world? Am I to find out later? I can feel my sexual mouth begin to open and shut in small orgasmic waves.
‘Damn you’ My mind screams.

‘Oh god’ The man was the devil in the body of an angel. Perfection.

And all the while I was looking at the great thing between his legs. I could see it bulge bigger. Throbbing as if to invite. I crave to take it deep into my mouth. Something perverse in me wants to lick his testicles, his everything. Make it clean. Mark him as mine. It’s the drugs as they bite at me again.
‘It has to be’ I moan in my head as it ripples me once more.

I tell myself I must deserve this. The car crashed because of me after all. Am I lucky? Not in this life. But why does it feel so good? Why is the very bad so very good? I'm losing myself. But why should I let myself give in to him? There was just no way. This was wrong. What he was doing was wrong and I wanted him to stop.

But my wracked body, filmed in a second skin of expectation, glistening wet tells me otherwise as my hips jerk up. A flat palm pushes me back down him. God! He's touching me. I shudder as he runs a finger through my groove. My hips jerk up again, almost into the spasm. My head twists instinctively to meet the sensation tearing up towards it as I then see the wimp lying on the floor like a snake ready to bite. I judder and freeze not through fear. Through want.

‘PLEASE,’ I wail. I can’t help it. I want it.

‘PLEASE I CAN’T STAND THIS.’ I lied. I crave it.

‘SAY SOMETHING DAMN YOU. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?’ I shudder with the uncontrollable.

‘Right Tessa... dearest, I think is time for a change of position don't you.’ His voice is curt and over-officious but still angelic. He’s ignoring me as if he doesn’t see me. Is if he can’t hear. He’s using the knife to cut me free.

I can feel Kyle. He’s making me stronger.
'Where are you? Help me please.' I beg only in my head.

I’m being lifted up as I push hard. He holds my eyes. God there are such beautiful eyes. I’d never seen eyes that colour before. That intense. Wide and haunting. Strangely familiar. We stay fixed till he falls away hard from my wailing cletched fists. Like a bolt I’m up and stumbling. Blindly falling. Scrabbling up. I need the door. I see the bed. I find the door. I want the bed.

I scream fists drumming wildly against solid oak. I’m dizzy with the unknown. I ache all over but is it the space between us that pangs at me? I yank at it’s knob. Why isn’t he there? Is he letting me go? Doesn’t he want me?

‘God shut your stupid mouth bitch’ I scream unto me. I know I’m trying. Aren’t I? It rattles but stays shut. Locked. Where is he? I can’t look behind. I’ll only run to him if I do.

I feel my feet leave the ground. I’m hung in the air as his powerful arm clamps around my waist. Kicking no good, my limbs are like lead. He’s so big and hard against me. I look down at where I’m hopelessly clawing. My crazed fingertips alight at touching him as I catch on the ugly.
They catch at the thick and the cruel. Scars across the inside of each one of his wrists. I fall away inside as I see how the perfection has been spoilt. I want to know why? God I feel so sick at myself.

‘Now little lady, are you going to be a good girl and do as your told?’ His sweet voice is at my ear. I must feel me trembling as he leans back heavy onto the oak.


‘Been there. Done that.’ His sweet lips so close to my hot flesh. A breath away. I silently beg to be touched. To be kissed. Anywhere, everywhere. He pulls me in tighter. I can’t breathe as I lean into him.

He spins me around and almost throwing me clean across the room so I land at my original destination. God is it that obvious ? I see things behind it now, around me. Odd things. Toys? Boys toys? His toys? The sight claws me deep. He see him advancing. The hunter and the hunted.

I back away, crouching like a cat. Naked and open. But my legs seem to tense, claws out, ready to spring. God! at least I’d found something buried deep within. From somewhere. I would do some damage before he over powered me. My eyes flash as the whip, short, flat and flexible with some small leather thongs at the end, is thwacking in his palm.

I pull back, shaking my head. Unable to form even a murmur. But unconsciously I lick my lips.
God please don’t let him see. Please don’t let it be.
Why so quick to leave the past and embrace the new. The forbidden. Did Kyle and my life mean that little to me? Who was this animal? This can’t only be the drugs fault. I am to blame for this too.

I reach for the pendant. It’s not there. No time for terror. He moves towards me, the mouth grinning wickedly now.In perverse revulsion I ebb to it. He is just that beautiful. He mesmerises me. I can’t move as he lunges with effortless ease.

I dive for the bed, rolling over it... Damn. I did't want to do that while springing to my feet. The last stand I feel, giving me the extra strength. I can feel him closing in on me. He had me cornered now. I kick out. But that was fatal. He catches my foot and turns me, spinning me, laughing at me helplessness, my free leg and arms flailing vainly. The numbness is winning. I hit the wall. My side feelings like it’s exploding as the wind is knocked clean out of me.

Then to my horror I feel myself rising. He had my foot in some kind of sling and was wincing me into the air. I’m upside down now. Hopelessly swinging. I kick out with my free foot but he catches it deftly and trussles with it too. I’m now hung like a ham but on what? How? My legs are splayed. Everything that is me is lolling downwards.
‘ god let me down, please.’ I'm talking. I’m pleading. I’m failing. I’m shutting down.

He laughs. How can any human be so cruel? He winces me higher as my crotch is now at his shoulders. His breath feels so good rasping me there it makes me tremble. Am I going to die now? His plan all a long of me. Death is beautiful. Looking in his eyes it would be. It is. But I’m not looking at his eyes. His not allowing me as my hair brushes lightly against the floor as I sway. I’m just being held there, my open shirt dangling down and around too as I feel him move around me?

I can’t see him but I can feel him. God how I can feel him, I’m pulsating with his heat. The drugs playing with my mind or was this deliciously real? I can’t tell their gobbling me up whole.
I have no time to think as the switch lands on my buttocks. The second stroke came between them, just tipping the sensitive around my little hole. I gasp as he whips me again. My buttocks begin to sting as all my life’s blood rushes to my head.
What sensation was this as I feel myself trickle out like honey from between my legs.

Now I feel him kneel down behind me, his strong smooth hands running down my body, and over my breasts. The great hands were so large that he held each breast in one palm. I wasn’t big by any means but we just fitted. Completely.
‘NO. NO. NO. STOP IT. WE DON'T, WE CAN'T. STOP SAYING THINGS LIKE THAT.’ Reason screams back only so I can hear it.

‘He’s only there, with me so he can hurt me you foolish bitch. There’s no fairytale here.’ The logical again. Logical thoughts drowning me or is it me just blacking out?
Then the hands move downwards, and before I know what’s happening because I’m out of it, and fading fast both wrists are tied together in a noose.

What else in his bag of tricks? My insides claw at me. Am I excited to know it all now? A line is hooked on the noose I think. I feel like I’m flying as he turns me. The ropes on my legs slacken while the other raise me. How is he so quick to find, to do? I’m I missing that much as the drug consumes more.

I am now upright but the world is still spinning. Strung up by my arms, my feet tied together too. He is fast as my muddled state of mind drifts off into how he would be a lover? As the fast or as the deliciously slow. But don‘t I already know from before? From when he took me downstairs. I can‘t tell? Surely having someone like him buried deep inside, all the way in, pumping into me I‘d remember. No drug is strong enough to take that away. Of that I am sure. Am I? I can't form thoughts.

'My body is under his control. But there is no way that he was going to control my spirit.' Just foolish words in my head I think. I know as I still believe it. I have to.
The face then comes perilously near.

It was a strong, boyish face hiding a menace. He would never age as I tried looking away. Even if my limbs weren’t stiff and tight I still wouldn’t have been successful in my desired, foolish task. Those eyes had me again. Clear, bright, shiny, licked with such colour that seemed to sparkle right into my very soul. The familiar ebbs me on further. I didn’t stand a chance.

His breath showers over my face. His tongue smacking and licking leisurely out and around. Wonder and sensation filled me as to what it would feel like at me. On me. In me. I’m warmed by it. Is that why he picked me? Because he knows how he affects me. How would he? Why would I? My head is getting thick with nonsense.

‘So you want to know why I’m doing this to you?’ His voice tingles up my spine. I can’t take this anymore. How long has it been already? Does Maria even know that I've gone. Is she already trying to find me? What if she doesn't and isn't. I can't breathe.

‘JUST KILL ME AND BE DONE WITH IT!’ My anger hits at his face as I’m almost spitting at him.

He shakes his head slowly, his eyes never leaving mine.

‘JUST DO IT- PLEASE!’ I’m begging, sobbing my way to an early grave, that I am sure of then at laest I'd be with Kyle. Am I happy at that? His voice thankfully interupts.

‘Nah, that’s too easy. You deserve better than that Tessa and that’s not why you’re here anywau. Although I will do what I like with you of that I can assure you.’
He leans in ,teasing my shirt slowly apart with searching fingertips, taking hold of each nipple in turn. Twisting and pulling but ever so gently. I gasp hard. What’s he trying to prove? That he has me? My body is responding helpless to that already. He must know what he’s doing to me. What he’s already done to me. I’m so very tied.

‘I might treat you like this.’ He bends in closer to me, forcing his throbbing phallus outwards and between my legs. It was still sheathed tight by leather pants but it was so very hard and spearing. Straining. Wanting to push right out and into me I guess. But was he thinking of me or someone else. Was it for me or for her? I want to ask but never before sensations fill me. Stop me from functioning.
'Take me.' My heads screams. What the fuck???

It almost saws straight into my groove anyway until my lips begin to come to life. Come being the word as I believed that that was what he was inducing to form there. I was still so inexperienced, my soul mate taken from me so very soon. That one time in that big house. Twice. Our only time. For a week later we would argue as I when try and stop Kyle from purposely ploughing the car off the road. I don’t remember anything much about that night, only fragments.

I feel my eyes welling up. I want to remember even though I know I’m to blame and this is why god is punishing me but sending down this precious angel to do his bidding.
I want my necklace, I need my necklace. I am truly naked without that. I want to ask him but I’ll he’ll hurt me. I’m a bad girl see, I must be. I’m so tired. I can’t feel me any more, only me reacting to him.

As he withdraws from under me, from between quivering legs I’m almost disappointed. He's smiling at my tears.
‘And I can whip you until you beg me to stop like the whore that you are Tessa.’
The tassels of the whip caught a nipple lightly and made me flinch. But it failed me and stood to attention anyway.

‘So you see how I can do what ever I want with you and YOU SHOULD KNOW WHY I’M GOING THIS BITCH.’ His trembling with a rage that knocks me side wards. I open my mouth to say something as he calms instantly while laying a finger across my mouth.
‘Ah Ah Shhhh.’ His tone is now soothing.

I want to take it into my mouth, pull, suck and bite at it. And he knows it. He senses me too. I know he does and maybe that brings me comfort that maybe he can be reached.
‘Be good a girl and what I want from you is for you to treat me with what you owe me. Respect, as I give you back what you deserve.’ His finger still languishes there.

God! He knows. He knows its driving me out of my skin as he oh so gently drags it across my botton lip. I feel a tremor run through my stomach to my clitoris at his slightest of touches. Already it was coming awake and I only needed to have him touch it to make me peak. I feel dirty, damaged as strangely all my hurt was then gone.

My lips part just a little more as I have no control over my hot and eager tongue. A tongue that has probably killed me. it wants to probe, it needs to meet. it craves to touch. God! what has he done to me? Then to have it go no further as he only has to look at me to let me know to stop. As I swear that I heard him suck in at my slightest touch. But he face doesn’t show it. I am dreaming. I must be. I wish.

‘And you will take more than my finger into your mouth I can assure you and will suck on that until I come in your mouth. And you will thank me, and beg me to take you before I am through with you. Of that fact I am yet to decide.’ I’m frozen as I feel the cat-and-nines-tail brush up lightly against my inner thight.

I turn inside out with it. Burn just at the thought of it.
‘Do you understand?’

I immediately wonder why I said what I did next. What ever it was down to it got the desired response. For him, for me.That I couldn't tell.

‘Go to hell.’

I reach across the sheets further but he is not there. I look wildly round, call his name as I pull back the bed clothes. I ache all over and I feel dizzy.
‘Out here Lizziebelle.’ Out where? I am not familiar with my surroundings. But I still grab a shirt from the chair as I rush out.


Love it? hate it? want me to go away? I'd REALLY love to know what you think as this is only just the beginning of the different.

Because it will get so much worse, starting with the next part.

A necessity to the story and that's why I'd like to know if you want me to post more because the story is now complete.

Thanks again and I hope that you have had a happy day so far.

[ edited 8 time(s), last at 23-Jan-2002 6:18:26 PM ]
posted on 23-Jan-2002 5:38:58 PM by babyitsyou

Thanks so much for the feedback, its good to know that I'm not alone in the dark here and it makes it all worth while.

Kyle IS dead and Liz feels somehow responsable for it.


Max is haunted by a past that almost killed him too ( reference to scars on his wrists )

What happened to him????

Max IS Kyle but I can't give away the how comes just yet.

And there is reason to why he has Liz and why he keeps calling her Tessa but it's not what you might think.

All will become clear once we get to stay in the present.

As for 'the different'- lots, lots more to come and it won't be pretty.

Sorry, but it'll get much, much worse before it gets better.

But its there for a reason.

Thanks again for showing an interest, it does mean a lot.

And again this is a COMPLETED STORY so if more is wanted then just holler.


[ edited 2 time(s), last at 23-Jan-2002 5:46:27 PM ]
posted on 24-Jan-2002 9:08:22 AM by babyitsyou
for all the feedback.


And in answer to your question Dreamlover,
there's 26 parts left to post actually.

Basically Kyle coming back from the dead as/in Max and the vengence part are the only things connecting this to 'the wraith'. It seems confusing now but its meant to be. Sorry!

But it all gets dicy from here on in ( and it's not just my warped little mind, there is a very good reason for all that happens to Liz ) before it even starts to get any better and you won't guess that reason or the ending in a million years.

But here's the thing, the newbie ( me ) is still a little unsure if the different will be okay here because I really don't want to affend anybody.

Please let me know if it wouldn't because I would like to know where this stands before I post more.

If okay then one part posted every day.


[ edited 3 time(s), last at 24-Jan-2002 10:30:24 AM ]
posted on 25-Jan-2002 8:22:38 PM by babyitsyou
Thankyou for all the feedback so far, it really does mean a lot that some of you are liking the different. The italics mean the past and the bold is something completely different. Now I know this part will confuse but over the next few parts things will become cyrstal clear.

Warning: This is stll dealing with the dark & the angsty mainly S&M in this part. Tame in comparison to what's yet to come but here none the less. So if you don't like then PLEASE DON'T READ



A breeze blows my hair all around me, sweeps it high, wild and free or it that just me. Because I am. The fever is almost gone and the drugs flushed away for I came back a few days past. But my body still so raw and tender from the mindless and the cruel that ebbed me like one other. So I came back as last night as ‘the stranger’ did again in me. Repeatedly. A ritual we share as it’s the air that we breathe, it keeps us from the darkness. I still don’t know who he his but he’s not Kyle nor is he Max- the Max that caused me so much pain that I do know. Neither does he but he is hopelessly sorry, tables turned as I have to force him to do what we both crave. He is afraid that he will come back and hurt me again. But he doesn’t understand, it’s not his fault. I think. And cocooned in that thing of beauty.. In his body then he can do anything to me and I will take it.

My head is thick but my insides feel alive. I’m alive and we will remember, together as the wind leaves me to circle and lift the trees also, rushing through their leaves as I continue to run blindly to him. It’s been so very long without him that I do know as I need him now more than ever as he needs me. We complete each other but we do not know why.

My hair feels clean, my body feels scrubbed. I feel clean yet still dirty, rotten to the core. So much has really past if only we could remember more. But I don’t remember having already bathed this day as it hits me hard and low. He washed me then took me last night because I begged him to. He is so different but still the same. We know nothing of real value as we are still not clear of the darkness which threatens to take, to hold. Us both still in grave danger. But where I am?, who I am? I blink, instantly smelling clouds of scented mist, seeing silhouettes of people, of things muddled as I try to remember. Memory now trying to seek out me. But I am safe for I feel him. From all round, dipping and taking me under. Blocking me as I am found...

I sit on the huge, the round, the gravestone. The chair in covered in thick white towels.
It feels good, comforting. I watch him drowsily as he prepares the sunken bath as I quiver and shake out of myself. The windows are wide open, the trees seem silent and small. But that’s not why I shake, it’s because of him. Everything I see does, cocooned within bubble like form except him. I see him like the angel that he is, bright and shining. The fever is still burning hot so he cares for me now. He said he would what ever.
‘Are you up to this?’ he now looks down at me through veils of steam.
I blink, it hurts.
I breathe, it hurts.
I look at him, it hurts more yet I still nod and reach up to him.

‘why? I am a whore.’

My head screams but his eyes tug at me. I need him they call over and over. He steps in closer while I melt. All is whole again but he hesitates.

‘Doesn’t he want me now?’ But those eyes have me. They drag me under as I shake without hope, the blackness coming back. I am not whole and we are not free.

‘No, no, no, leave me be. I can’t lose him again. Please….’ I beg only to me, now the common for me.
To beg but he comes before I can leave. He won’t allow me to leave. He fought so hard to come for me that night in the rain. The higher power at work here taking pity on our tortured souls just for a while. Just A little while.

He senses me, my turmoil as strong arms envelope me. Hold me, go to love me as only he can. I remember that now after he tells me. He’s now free to do what he wants. For a while, just for a little while. We do not when it will come and take him again. Nor why it would want to. What did we do that was so wrong, that was so bad?

He lifts me into the fragrant water. I curl in tighter. I don’t want to let go of him in case he disappears.
‘I need him to stay with me. I need him not to leave me again.’ The logical back.

I don’t have to for a while he sits on the edge, carefully, shyly almost. Why? He is my love after all. My life, my other half. He has already had me in so many ways , in so many forms. As he is now gently skimming water over my shoulders, around my neck, smoothing back the soaked ends of my hair. But he’s careful not to touch at my flesh. I gaze at his gentle hands, his strong bare chest, his battered jeans already splashed with water.

‘Why doesn’t he come in beside me?’

Fear of the unknown, fear that he’ll let him hurt me again. Worse that he will. But it wasn’t his fault.
Nothing is ever his fault. It never was only mine but still I can not remember. I need to get to him.
To reach him again , to get him to come back to me. I need him inside of me.

But is he already here? It that why he’s being so loving and tender to me because my love has gone. Gone so he can comeback to me once more. My head hurts with this delicious confusion.. As if to hear my plea he stands and undresses, wordlessly, but his eyes never leave mine.

He is semi- erect when he climbs into the bath but still huge none the less. He supports me with one arm then gently soaps my shoulders, down my arms, over my abdomen, up and down my legs. I start to move towards him and those beautiful eyes. I ache so much. Am I dead and now in heaven with my angel beside me? As he steps away.

‘god he’s leaving me again. No, no, no!’

I can’t breathe as I’m not and he isn’t. My nipples, hard and pink are peeping higher through the foam and I am breathless then I look at him. I am alive, of sorts. His hand rests on my inner thigh. I feel a burning there even when the water is only warming. He looks at me questioningly, lovingly, touchingly unsure of himself now. Now that my love has left him again and he is one with himself . The forbidden hunted and found . But who is he, the stranger I see beautiful and naked before me?

But still he hesitates. Fear consuming as I can feel his heat for me so I’m the one to move his hand, guiding it gently between my legs…

I’m thrown free. The mass of green has lost colour, looks frailer. The holes through to the sky are larger as the sunlight burns deep into my eyes. It almost makes me stumble and fall. I still ache so terribly all over. He is so sorry but I am not. For without the pain and suffering we would not have the here and now. Does that make me a bad person? I need to get to him. I call to him again. I still call him ‘Max’ for he is not Kyle.

He has his back to me, the taut and the sun- kissed, body stripped to the waist. It feels as if my nerve endings, having been in some sort of shock or stasis, are suddenly reawakening to the impossible, the unimaginable as slowly he turns round.
A sudden rogue wind blasts through the once comforting lulling breeze like I was never meant to make it to his trembling out stretched arms.

I was right.

It was unbalancing. I become abruptly aware of a dull full sensation far down in my abdomen from seeing his face and I am taken before I hit the floor. His face is now filled with rage as his eyes fill with sorrow. He’s fighting the darkness. He’s failing. He’s lost as he is once again taken by the unknown with tears falling. He comes for me, now leaning over me. Always there to catch me when I fall as he is no longer ‘my Max.’

’Go To Hell.’

The switch stung across my breasts and made me twitch as I let my face show my angry defiance.

‘ Silly girl.’ he whispers smiling wanly, he took me hard around the waist.

‘he wants me’ my mind screams. It betrays me. My body trembles from the need and the want.

Now he’s unhooking my wrists in one powerful, stroke and holding me tight across his body. I feel his heart thunder from beneath his chest. He says nothing, does nothing as I begin to shut down. With my wrists still bound and my feet trussed, I am helpless in his strong arms.

‘god help me but I don’t care, it feels so good’ I scream in deep.
He smelled so good, so male. Both musky and sweet at once, the aroma seemingly sending messages of the lustfulness deep between my legs. It bites again as I know that it does. That I do know as he bites at me again.
His breath is sweet, minty as he finally lowers his lips to mine. Mesmerised, I watch them coming down , so succulent and inviting. I can’t breathe. But why am I not surprised as my lips pursed to meet them. The world stops. This is meant to be. But how come? How is that? Who is he to do this to me? But they stop smiling and withdraw.

He was playing with me. I can’t help but pout. I don’t care anymore if he sees. I don’t care what he does to me, anything’s better than this sweet torture. He picks me up and sets me on the bed.

‘ohmygodohmygodohmygoohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod’ I scream in a head already full of pain and confusion, ebbed on as I see what’s above us. A mirror held high on the ceiling.

‘God I am in heaven’ For I have seen that before and I can taste what comes next. I judder from knowledge and his hard body pinning me down. As I see Mirrors all around me. How could I have missed such a treat?

Deep inside me it throb’s, pulsates. But is that from him or me? We are just that close. Again, harder more intense as I tremble. Or it that her?

I suck in hard as he moved upon me. I feel her stronger now.

‘Who?’ I feel ripping pain but he’s not touching me as I moan from him leaving my heat. This is something else.

I arch up high off the bed, showing my full feminine core that lay dripping before him as it tears deep again but now he is only inspecting me, his face seeming to be admiring me, his eyes glinting but not- I judge- with lust.
I’m suddenly screaming. But it is not me. Pulse. It is her. I know that now because I have one too, buried deep inside and she’s the one he wants to hurt as I am just sickly happy to be with my true love…my family…my

The great hands were caressing me all over, as light and as fleeting as feathers blown on a summer’s breeze. I felt loved, not violated, by the touch. I did not struggle, knowing it would be in vain. And there was something about the man which instilled awe in me. As I looked upon him, this close. Too close. I truly saw him, for the first time. I’m trying to remember, to see through the blinding white as it stops me dead. He looked strangely like my… God! He looks a little like…

‘God these drugs are so fucking me up.’ The logical still there as my mind dared to wonder into the forbidden once more. It was like looking in a mirror. Both dark haired and eyed. Same eyes but different almost as if we where…

He jolted me away from the unthinkable as he slowly undid my wrists, one by one and fastened each separately to long straps held at it’s posts. I stare up, past him as he towers above me and view myself in the mirror. My breasts heave as I breathe in rapidly with a mixture of fear and excitement. I’m tied down further but lovingly not like before. As still he doesn’t speak.
My heavy arms are now above my head, my palms facing upwards. This stretches my breasts and made them flatten to my chest from between parted shirt. The nipples hardened although I will then not to.
But he is the powerful, the one and I can’t resist as they pucker up into the painful.

Now as I lay completely spread out, I watched myself with a new eye: my hips curvaceous, my waist slim, a perfect elongated navel making a deep and sensuous depression in my undulating stomach. Long and shapely legs culminated in the small triangle of black fuzzy hair, drawing my own gaze as well as his. I never saw myself as anything. A nothing, a no body who was far from the beautiful.
Not even edging in the likable, the pretty but there with him, us both feasting upon my open body I was everything that and beyond.

Was it true? Was it him or just the drugs? I couldn’t tell but what ever it was I let it continue licking me inside out. I watch detachedly as he fasten my ankles in the same manner, so that my legs were parted widely. Another angled mirror on the ceiling showed my sex quite clearly, open enough for a man to thrust into.

For him to thrust into. My inside tightened and squirt. In the mirror I watch him, his skin glowing on every muscle as he himself is not wearing a shirt and the buttons to his leather pants are almost all the way down undone as I spy and stare at the beginnings of dark tight curls held at his lower abdomen.

I suck in hard while imagining what it would be like to suck on what was hidden beneath. My heart began to pound. He was working around me, stopping to studying me if I were a specimen on display. I’d never been looked at so blatantly. I had never felt so helpless. It burned deep as I lapped it up. The way he was looking at me was doing things to me long since forgotten.

Or where they for her? I didn’t care I was the object the of what ever now. Of his desire. Always him. I can see him studying between my legs with a look of admiration. Perversely it set up a quiver in, and to the pit of my stomach. Suddenly he was now bending in low to me, the headiness of his scent swamping me.

He put his lips to mine, held tight between my legs. I breathe deeply, my mixture of fear and anticipation running pulsating high and long through my wracked body. So hard it made my clitoris quiver and spill, the sticky now trickling out and between the cheeks of my nakedness.

The whisper of the deep and wooing voice that then came made me tremble there again as his tongue just catches me there. I die all over again.

‘You truly are an exquisite woman Tessa and, even though fight you might to prevent it, I am going to make you come like you will never come again in your life. So savour the moment. You will be in my debt for ever and will never leave me again is that understood. He shall never have you.’ He spat out, eyes a flame.
‘I may have this body now,” he hits at ‘his’ chest hard, so hard in fact that I hear it crack and I just want to scream out for him to stop doing that. He is enraged like never before. I turns me on harder, wetter.
“ but remember this it’ll still be me doing all the taking...repeatedly.” He quickly flicks and licks me again down there, tonguing me, probing me lightly back to forth in one delicious stroke as he finally dips inside. I growl and moan like an animal as my hips jerk upwards to shamelessly meet him. But he withdrew from he again before I can as we are both left breathless. My fear has now turned to uncertainty, created not through being helpless, by being told what I would or would not do but by what he said.

‘And you are going to do as I say. If I say lick my balls you will do it and enjoy it and you will plead for me to let you have my cock. But even if you tear yourself apart to get it inside you, still I will refuse you. Do you hear? You wanted this body so much before, willing to do anything to get it, let’s see if you will again.’

Confusion was tearing me inside out as he ran his finger lightly over my breasts, down my centre to my clitoris and back.
‘I’ve had many woman here. At first they all set out to defy me, as you did once. But I tell Tessa just like the sick little whore that you are, before another half hour is over, you’ll be screaming to be taken, other that of that you’ll be screaming for me to kill you like I tried to before. I failed but I won’t fail again. Either way I will take what’s mine, what he took from me.”

I shook my head hard, eyes wide unable to talk as he then bent down and away from me. God I miss his heat sparking off of me. He leans back as I breathe out hard. He then shows me a heavy plate of metal, six inches square and the thickness of his thumb. My gaze goes slowly between him and it. I want to ask but I can’t function. My eyes now lay before him. The look now held on his face was that of demonic.

I’d only every seen that look once before. The look that scratches at her insides as suddenly I was taken back there..

As she raised herself up onto her knees, she lifted his erect member and carefully positioned it just over the entrance of her dripping wet sex. He was so hard and stiff that there was really no need for any further efforts to arouse him. She couldn’t help but pout at this. But it was truly massive, more than ever, velvety soft the flesh stretched thin and shiny, blue veins clearly visible beneath. Growing and throbbing bigger as she squeezed at it just a little harder. The purple knob seemingly on the point of bursting as he lay on his back beneath her.
He let her caress his cock, run her fingers along it, circle her thumb over it’s warm oily tip. He had already loved her , made her come over and over with his tongue and his hands, it was only fair. His eyes close briefly, very tight, and he sighs before opening them again- the only signs that his excitement is as intense as hers. His hands now resting lightly on her thighs, his thumbs gently stroking as his nails dug in deep.
‘Show me where you want me, angel.’ he says softly.

She then slowly nuzzled the head of his pulsing, already filmed in pre- cum shaft into her entrance, pressing it softly against the folds of her lips, nudging them aside by moistening it with her flowing out warm juices. A Round and a round her hole gently as their eyes remain fixed. He gave a small moan of pleasure as she dipped it into her an inch then out again.
“You like that?” She whispered, leaning over him so that her face was only inches from his, her swelling breasts now at his chest. He felt her hardening buds begin to rasp at his. It was deliciously painful. His eyes glisten with happiness and pride only for her, because of her only able to moan and gently nod. He felt her begin to pull away, eyes wide.
‘God just this once tell me, I need to hear you say it’ she was shaking with need and breathless as he strokes the now tears of frustration from her eyelids while his close with anticipation.

“Yes,” he murmured, “ I like that very much, you know I do.” He opened one eye and looked up at her, seemingly surprised to find her lips so close to his own. He was the one who has started this and she meant to finish it by the looks of her.
“ you?” he asked quietly he needed to know.
She smiled, nodding, and then reached down further forward and brushed him with a light kiss at his mouth as her tongue begins to lick and probe further in. When she feels him respond with his and begin to pull her in closer, harder she teases herself up and away from him. His look of lust and confusion almost kills her. Then, with a sigh, she lowered herself completely onto him, quivering as he filled her.

“There,” She said, “ now I am happy.”

“completely happy?” He said as he knew she was not. This was wrong, so wrong and they would be punished for their sins but it was now too late to go back. They had already gone to far. They’d tried being apart but it just sent them both spiralling out of their control. They belonged together no matter what the world thought or what they were to each other. The forbidden as now a reality. Neither able to stop the inevitable, neither even wanting to as he cupped at her face.
“It won’t be forever, I promise,” he assured her with glazing eyes, thrusting gently upwards. A little harder, for a little longer and in a little deeper. “nothing is forever.”

“ I know.” She knew he was talking about them as she stared straight back at him. To amber eyes which shone dark and damp as he let out a throaty moan.

“ We’ll still have this moment what ever happens, if that’s what you want. Their never take that away from us- never!” and with a flex of his hips he buried himself up to the hilt, so deep that she cried out.

“ I want only what you want,’ she states through gritted teeth as his fingers dig harder into the flesh at her waist and hips. “ and if you want me then so be it.” She replied quickly as she begins to sob with the feeling of his cock filling her up. Her hips now gently circling him as he drives himself in deeper in one long stroke by yanking her down at her lower back.

“God!” He moaned as he moved his hands upwards and circled her trim waist, now lifting her slightly and then drawing her down onto him again.

“ So is this what they mean by forbidden love?” She jokes trying to slow down the delicious ride not wanting it to ever end as her release is already surging through her.

“ Love? Is that what this is?” He continued to lift and drop her off of his cock. Right down to the hilt, then almost up off the tip as she claws at his still partly clothed torso. They time together was short, too precious to waste by the removal of such things as clothing. “You speak of love to one who prefers to remember nothing of it. Knowing it’s better that way.” He lied.
But she knew when he was lying and what buttons to push. She had been since the day she was born.

“Then perhaps this may stir your memory,” She ventured down lower on him, clenching her internal muscles with a surprising savagery that drew a sharp gasp from him.

“Perhaps I presume too much being your..…”

“don’t say it,” he grabs and pulls her wrists off of him, holding them tight with eyes ablaze “… Please,” now with beautiful eyes that begged. “that has no place here.” His body trembled as she continued to stroke and glide on him.

“But you forget, it does because I am,” she lazily brushed one finger across his forehead.
“and you are and there‘s nothing that we can do about.”

“No, I refuse to believe that we’ll find a way but none of that matters now, we…belong…together…” he trusted up harder with every word, not taking his eyes from hers.
“ nothing can ever change that and I will still show you the love that you deserve whether you continue to fight me or not because you know I‘m right.” he could feel her clamped around him, her inner rippling ebbing him on harder, further, higher.

“And what if I cannot find such love within me?” She saw his eyes fill with tears in an instant.

“Then I shall still love you, with all that I am. Enough for the both of us and I would rather die than have you leave me. And know this I swear I shall kill myself at the first chance I get if you ever do.”
She felt her first release take her as he spoke. She rose and fell again, impaling herself hard onto his shaft, her fingers now clawing desperately against his naked chest. Breathlessly panting his hands splayed feverishly further upwards, cupping at her breasts. Squeezing and kneading them together then pulling, twisting and pinching at her nipple till her cried out.

“ I know that god I‘m so sorry,’ she breathed, resting her forehead heavy against his as she impaled herself onto his ramrod. Desperate to meet him, take him. ‘ forgive me…because I have.”

He was taking strong, powerful thrusts that ignited the same ragging fire within her that she saw flickering in his dark, sensual eyes now flashing amber.
“I have and because of you I do, you hear me…I love you,”

He continued to hold her close breathless and, to her amazement, she realized he was responding, thrusting up and down as far as could be gone, in time with her own efforts. Then suddenly it happens, he changes from the slow to a man possessed by demonic desire, already pounding in so hard into her that she thinks that she will break apart while coming apart in his hands. Over his cock.

“I won’t let them keep us apart, I’ll never let you leave me.” Rocking against him rhythmically, staring straight at him she urged him further, higher, harder and as he sent her over the precipice first she knew that what he was saying was true. That he dared to love her in that way too.
“Your mine and I’ll find you where you go,”

But their impossible situation gave them no future as with a low, guttural growl, he reluctantly closed his eyes and gave into his own shattering release now crying out her name over and over. High- pitched and mind blowing as his body began to buck while fisting her long raven hair into tight bunches….

my eyes are transfixed by the shining plate as he slowly clicks open each one of it’s clasps to then reach inside my shirt...

Sorry for this part, you need the boring to get to the good stuff. Please let me know what you think of it still and if wanted I'll post more. This is completed remember so it all depends on you guys.

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 30-Jan-2002 6:30:50 AM ]
posted on 27-Jan-2002 9:15:20 AM by babyitsyou
So I'm not alone in the dark here, hmm interesting.
Thanks for the nod and Eraser Room, be nervous be very nervous!!!
The next part is already done, I'm just making a few little adjusts first so heads up or is that down?*tongue*

[ edited 4 time(s), last at 27-Jan-2002 10:35:46 AM ]
posted on 27-Jan-2002 2:00:24 PM by babyitsyou
WOW, A big Thank you to Maxism & Fallen Angel and a stiff pat on the back .Why? Now that would be telling *tongue*. Is that bad of me? And just so it’s easier because even I’m confused, not!!

The italic text is the past, and thoughts.
The normal text is now
And the bold text is from before both.

Hope that explains it a little more and again a
Warning: Still tame ( for now ) but still the different so if you don’t want it then PLEASE DON’T READ!!!!!


The car draws into the side of the road, bouncing a little as Kyle drives over the shallow grass verge. He turns to me, placing two fingers on the exposed flesh at the top of my breasts, then roughly slides his other hand up my thigh to my panties. He presses his thumb inside my lips, over the cotton, finding my folds. He massages it briefly, but then withdraws.
Am I glad?

‘You’ll have to excuse me,’ he says. ‘I need a leak.’

He opens the car door then looks at me, his eyes sparkling.
‘You can come if you like.’
My face reddens. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I don’t know what he wants. Or maybe I do and I just don’t want to.

‘I’ll just stay here,’ I murmur and sink behind my hair. I watch him walk away to unzip himself and pee against a bush way up the road. He takes a packet of cigarettes from his shirt pocket and turns so I can’t see his face. He now stands smoking and looking down towards the sea.

‘What am I supposed to do?’ I say the words aloud, plaintively, to the soft wind.

‘Just be your sweet, beautiful self… I should say., a voice comes lazily from the back seat of the car. I turn round so quickly I make myself dizzy. I had forgotten our passenger.

Like fuck I have

His eyes, faintly glazed by little dope, smile gently into mine. His eyes are amber; soft and deep. So different than anything I’ve ever seen but still the same.

‘Arrogant Bastard,’ I see him flick a glance at Kyle. The slowness of his voice and the warmth of his gaze while he looks at me, although possibly caused by the reefer now carelessly discarded over the side of the car, have a relaxing, almost hypnotic affect on me. They always did. Too much, that’s why he had to leave me. But now he’s back because daddy kept hitting him and he had no choice.
When he leans forward and his hands comes up to massage my shoulder, my mind screams oh god don’t but I don’t push away.

‘I scared you angel, I’m sorry.’ His eyes search my face, clawing at my insides. I need to stop myself from falling.

‘Kyle’s not arrogant you know,’ I whisper, trying not to look in those eyes.
I watch his shoulders come towards me and away; towards me again as his fingers ease my tense muscles. He knew exactly how as my body starts to draw him in.

‘Kyle’s not arrogant,’ I repeat again, aware of the uncertainty in my voice. His hands have stopped on my shoulders. ‘ ..and he’s nicer to me than any other guy I’ve known.’ I lied. He knew it.

‘oh, yes, and how many would that be?’
His voice is muffled as he suddenly pulls his tee over his head. I can’t help staring at his chest.

god you got big.

Its sun kissed, the taughtness of his muscles ebb deep into my core.

god your so beautiful. STOP IT!’

When his head re- emerges and the tee is cast aside, he catches me gazing at his turso, his bslt and the area around the zip of his jeans.

‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Angel you’ll give me a hard on and Kyle will take umbrage in a truly spectacular manner.’
I turn away from him, my face blazing, but I don’t object when I feel his hands move gently through my hair. God I should but I can’t. I love the way he makes feel, how he touches me. They stroke at my skull then steal down the back of my neck. He continues to kneed, then release, his fingertips against the tightness of my upper body, the tightness that he has put there.

‘You exaggerate everything as always,’ I say weakly, trying to stop myself leaning back into his touch; telling myself I have no choice. He’s too strong and is somehow drawing me towards him as I knew he would.
Suddenly I hear the driver’s door open. I sit upright so quickly that I smell the fragrance of my hair as It swings forward; the shampoo scent with the sun in it.

‘ She’s so tense Kyle, really knotted up and no fucking wonder,’ he says cheerfully.

When I glance at Kyle I can feel guilt on my expression; heat in my face. But he leans over and brushes my mouth with his own. Then he turns sharply towards the back seat and looks at him. There is no love lost as he’s now stretched out on it, a fresh joint in his hand just laughing.

Kyle looks at him a little longer before he revs up the engine and speeds off into the early morning sun.
Kyle drives so fast my hair streams out behind me. From time to time, yeah right try all the fucking time I imagine it touching him, blinding him from where I hear him breathing behind, momentarily before his fingers part it and his mouth, not his hands, caress my neck and shoulders before stealing round to the front of my body. I wriggle on the east tilting my head back on the rest. I stretch my legs as far as I can. In my short skirt they look good, already quite tanned from a few short weeks. My thighs are damp with sweat and the feeling is not unpleasant. Kyle looks straight ahead, concentrating on the road and turning up the radio.

The breeze moulds my cotton top to my breasts. It’s a present from Kyle; shell pink, brief and flimsy. He likes me to wear without a bra. I only did this time because he was with us too.

god I’m such a whore.

I look down at my nipples; hard and dark against the straining material. I have small breasts but large nipples of so Kyle says. He calls them his ‘precious mouthful’. But he never takes them into his mouth long enough, never kisses them as softly as I’d like. As we speed through the ocean- scented air my nipples harden more. I want them to be touched. But not by Kyle. I feel shivery and strange.
Kyle is consumed by his wild joyless driving and no longer puts his hand on my thighs, yet it feels like as if I’m being touched. I begin to ache between my legs; pressing my lips together, longing for some added pressure; wishing I could put my finger there, the way I do when I am alone. While he has been gone. But he’s now back as I want him there. I see only his face in my head.

I feel a tap on my shoulder; I hold my breath, not sure if I imagined it. It comes again. I turn to see him smiling at me because he knows it to, he can feel it. He’s holding up a half- smoked joint and without a word he puts it to my lips and I close my eyes and inhale deeply, holding the hot harsh- sweet smoke in my mouth as long as I can. He was always such a bad influence on me being the eldest and all. Then I shallow and, when I open my eyes again, he is leaning towards me, very close, his eyes shining and his face vibrant. The song on the radio has worked itself into a mellow guitar refrain with a soft underlying bass sound. As we smile into each other’s eyes it feels as if he is transmitting this guitar beat to me; it travels through my body, making my skin tingle and my heart race. Most intensely, though, inside his gaze and the pulsating music, I can feel my clit throb. I press down on the seat, feeling tiny blissful contractions start up all over my lower body. I bite my lip and try not to squirm. Something in the way his eyes shine convinces me he knows. He always knows, he knows me inside and out.

I feel as if we are floating, alone together; detached from the car; nothing but the vast blue sky around us. I’m being more and more aroused as I look at him, more inclined towards the abandonment that only he could ever bring. Complete and true. But this is so wrong, so very wrong as I have to force myself away but not before mouthing ’thank you’ just as I do.

Kyle is now driving as though possessed and I wonder if he has noticed the forbidden interaction happening in his car. Normally the speed we are travelling at would scare me but with what I’ve just inhaled, the music and the desire for who’s now staring at me from behind, burning holes into me with those eyes, pumping through my veins only makes me more excited. Ebbs me further, harder.

From the back seat he is singing along with the music.

To hold you hard in the soft moonlight
Love you till you cry”

His voice is not deep and rough as I would have expected, but higher and more melodic, seeming to instil each word with new meaning.
When he sings “hold you hard” I feel my whole body shiver. ‘Hold you hard’,

‘ love you hard’ ; it all becomes intermingled. I image his cock, brick- hard in his jeans. I imagine undoing his zip; caressing him; seeing the look on his face. He’s singing for me, I’m sure of it. I cross my legs, clenching all the muscles in my lower body in an attempt to satisfy my intense arousal. It can’t. I need him there, hard and tight between my legs, him to do it for me. He must know what he’s doing to me. I think, half in pure ecstasy, half in total despair for this is just not right. Not possible. But I can’t help but more my hips a little, his image in my head. My eyes widen as I discover the next best thing, the only thing as I feel the rough cord of my handbag. I lift myself, slow and gentle on the pretext of securing my skirt against the wind, simultaneously positioning the cord so that I can easily settle my folds on it. I’m out- of- control but he makes me as brief feelings of shame and embarrassment come at how can I even be thinking this and then go as I see his face in my head again. I clench the muscles in my buttocks and abdomen, then release them and bear down on the ridged cord. My clit pushes out against the flimsy gauze of my panties and I rub myself again and again on the harsh fibre. Slow and deep.

I am lost in my pleasure, intent on rubbing myself harder and longer, catching my breath as the small deft surges of bliss come more frequently. It takes me some time to realize that the car is slowing down and heading into town. I am damp with sweat and flushed; the throbbing between my legs is still there as I can hear him breathing from behind. But it is dulling now because I know that soon we must stop. I close my eyes, numb with frustration and disappointment as he gently touches at my shoulder, almost as if he has to touch me but doesn’t want me to know. But I’ll know, I’ll always know.

As the car jolts its way forward through traffic the cord between my legs begins to rub and push against me with much more force than I was able to muster myself as he is now also gently kneading my shoulder with shaky fingertips. Waves of redness begin to fill my head and my womb constricts sharply as the heaviness in my abdomen increases unbearably. I am going to come and it is more form his slightest of touches than the cord. I can’t help it bit it’s going to happen whether I want it to or not as I know it must be silent and motionless. I move back in my seat, closer to him as I sit in my hands, frantically fighting the urge to move in abandonment and make my situation obvious.
‘ I want you, I want you The words to go unsaid to me, unto me scoring through my brain.

Sweat trickles between my breasts and my panties are soaked with the forbidden. Then the car bounces over a small pot hole and his hand his gone.
god, come back come back, I need you. my innards scream but the cord is still there and it sears a jagged blissful course through my lips.

‘Oh Jesus, Jesus ,’ I whimper, unable to stop myself.

‘What’s wrong?’ Kyle finally turns to look at me and I stare back, dry mouthed and jolted into reality, unable to believe he has done it to me again. The boy in the back who is sharing the roof over my head. One more unfilled orgasm because of him but he says nothing. Tears fill my eyes as the car comes to an abrupt stop.

‘I-I’m alright,’ I whisper and tidy my hair with trembling hands, letting the wetness cool on me and the now dull throbbing subside completely.

Suddenly he leaps up from the back seat and climbs over the closed door without a word. I can’t help but shake as he’s always wanted this from me and now it’s come he doesn’t want it. Anger and rejection now ebb me as I begin to shake. I know he knew and still, after all this time he doesn’t want me. My eyes now begin to sting with pain. Only then, as he walks away from me, his broad naked shoulders gleaming in the sun before they are sheathed once more by his tee I notice my surroundings as we are now at school.

Kyle calls to me as I finally get out of the car. I feel wobbly and tight as I then dare to look up. Breath escapes me as the object of my forbidden desire, turns and smiles at me. He knows.
Oh god I'm so fucked

I so pray as my insides spiral. I'm now daring to picture us fucking. I feel myself falling but I don't smile back. I can't. I can't let this happen even through we crave it so. One of us has to be strong as I find the will from somewhere to walk, to ignore and to join the masses.

Boring again I know but needed. So what to it now, I'd love to know what ever it is.

[ edited 4 time(s), last at 27-Jan-2002 2:18:07 PM ]
posted on 27-Jan-2002 5:34:33 PM by babyitsyou
so much for the natter and support so far it still means a lot and

You should be smiling but for what? & for why?
You are so near yet so far *tongue*
And I'm happy that your still happy
And I'll post more in a bit.

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 27-Jan-2002 5:37:55 PM ]
posted on 27-Jan-2002 10:56:26 PM by babyitsyou
Outstanding feeback
But I have a question for you!
The next part is not too pretty ( not as tame, pretty damn different ) and I'm so not sure.
What do you reckon?
I'm not Teasing I'm just warning.
Should I leave the building now?

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 27-Jan-2002 10:58:22 PM ]
posted on 28-Jan-2002 7:59:29 AM by babyitsyou
for the feedback to this, I don't feel so lonely now and you're all getting there in one way or another
You are all so kind to the different and it means so much that you still want more of this for what ever reason that might be as again the italics show the past and the bold show how it all began.
Ohh and I apologize again now for confusing you but there is a reason for it and not just me being a tease or something. Also I have never done or had done to me anything that is in this story from now on so don't even go there teeheehee. HONEST!!

Warning: This is the beginnings of the NC17 and THE START IS VERY 'DIFFERENT' and VERY DARK with the S&M not so tame and I don't want to affend anybody. So if you don't like then PLEASE DON'T READ!


Slowly he pulls the shirt that is barely covering me so my front is now fully exposed, open just enough for him to slid under. I now lay open ready for him to fill. But the device still has my all.

It is flat but it has a prominent bump, like a nipple, on the underside. I can't breathe, I am afraid to. As I soley watch the flat and the smooth as he places it on my lower abdomen, the small, sharp nipple presses down on my tummy, touching at a spot between my navel and my pubis. I gasp as he smiles down at me.

'God is this heaven?' Then from no where he places a heavy weight on the plate. I still can’t breath, now made harder but it that just because I’m excited, already clawing right out of my skin with it. Like he said I’d be.

‘God how does he know me so well?’ my mind asks the mindless.

I can’t help but moan as I feel the metal nipple begin to dig in, pressuring my stomach with a tension of half pain and half delight. He looks at me the whole time, I try and keep my eyes open in defiance but I can’t as it digs in deeper and those eyes are licking me hard inside and out.

‘God what the fuck it this?’ the mindless now screams back at me.

I try and arch my back up but it’s restricting me. The depression in my abdomen pulling tightly at the skin of my pubis, tensioning my clit, pulling diaphragms of skin around my labia tight into my groin. But still I reach and push my body up, as if to try and get away as I catch myself in the mirror. Eyes fluttering, head throbbing, both stes of lips burning. I see me and I see him- god he's watching me.

I’m watching me, then him as I see him wounding something from behind me. I strain to see but my head is flooding. Suddenly the bed seems like it is beginning to fall right out from under me.

‘How can that be?’ The logical still with me.

I can’t breathe as… No I’m arching away from it.

‘How can that be?’

My magical looking, heaven- sent- down- to- me- bed is beginning to pull me in every direction, biting at me gently. The centre somehow comes up, and the arm and leg boards moved downwards very slowly. It was suddenly almost curving me like a bow. The sweet and delicious and the ohh so slow. I feel something pull me down a little harder held at the leg as he seemed to be wound something else.

My legs bent under from the knees, tightening the tops surfaces of my thighs. Again he is gentle, what is this is? Is he now my friend?

'Like fuck' I scream.

I see him moving again, around and back avidly missing, ignoring the one place that I seem to need him, crave him as I shamelessly dribble out of myself. He is now at the head, wounding again, my head bending back and down while the skin on my neck is hot and taut. Now I am almost an arch, my stomach high above my shoulders, every inch of my burning flesh tensioned by the strangely comforting movement.

My thighs are tight, their top surfaces pulling at my hip bones. But the pain doesn’t tear, it just ripples as my arms also begin to feel the pull.... My armpits straining into hollow pits. I can see the reflections of my rib cage clearly. My breasts are disappearing into my chest, only the nipples standing proud. They are now super- sensitive , erect and so taut that they too begin to bite.

It feels funny all over again as my legs move once more, straining those webs of skin between my inner thighs and my secret lips that he has seemed to awaken. Once asleep now no more as I burn deep but still I can’t see him. I need to see him or die, my dying wish to see the man who is to kill me in some sick, twist of fate.

But still he doesn’t come as I try and callout but I can’t make myself. I can’t even breathe. My lips were now tensioned upwards by the weight, and outwards by the splay of my legs. But I can hear him breathing and that calms me. Strangely comforting to me. My sexual mouth strained open wide open, my clit standing proud, for him. I begin to pant as I begin to feel her hardening in me.

She's liking this or is that me?

I’m pulsing with it and the need for him. Now the plate is hurting me, pressing down on me. I ache inside and out as my heart races faster. I want this to end, need it to but then I’ll be without him. I can’t be without him, not in this life too.

My head lolls further back and down, my neck tense as a leaf- spring. But do I like it? Is that why he does it? My hair is spilling down as I spill out of me.

‘Am I dead too?’

I am confused. But all my senses seem alive, every millimetre of my body is screaming out. But he only wounds it a little more as now there is not an inch of skin on me that doesn’t feel like it’s not stretched to breaking point. But still he is gentle withit, is this part of the game too? Or does he mean it? I don't even dare think.

He wounds me more, I need to see him to understand but my eyes are fluttering closed. I can’t see him. I can't feel. Each nerve ending seems to scream its sensation, its glee along a web of tiny fibres leading either to my nipple or to my secret lips at just what he's doing to me.

My whole body began to tremble, to shut down as I doesn’t seem to hurt as much. I am falling. But then the weighed plate goads me more.

As my stomach pants, the weight rises and falls making the nipple on its underside massage with excruciating pleasure- pain. But I’m now falling as she is screaming. Or this that me? I need to slip away but he won't let me.

My sex is now spasmed, trying to shift the weight to relieve the pain to make the pleasure flow down and outwards through my swollen bud where it now stands erect and pulsing like it had never pulsed before . Not exactly true as I've felt this feeling from somewhere before but I can’t remember as memories and thoughts are stolen from me. I pant deeper.

Now with my head pointed backwards, hair spilling out an upside- down image of a pair of legs, bare and taut come into view. Slowly stepping me into total abandonment with every step that he took as the beautiful is now naked too.

The wind picks up as if to know my inner turmoil as he now runs off, bumping me hard without a second look. Then the girl appears from out the middle of the masses.

She wears a silver dress and I can't help but giggle. This is school for christ sake not a bump and grunt jiont. Not that I'd know what one of those even are. But it‘s only jealously as I don't see me, see me wearing that. I can‘t see myself as attractive or as bold as she. It is out of place here but it‘s light, easy material, and she wears it in a relaxed matter. Well wouldn’t you be relaxed if that Adonis was fucking you?

I’m pray that they are not but I already know that they are, they must be as I shake off the images that take and consume me. I just can’t deal with this any more. I want to look away but I can’t, I need to see.

She doesn’t look as if she’d want to pretend to be a whore. She walks slowly as if in a dream and my nightmare.

His dream that awakens him all wet and aroused night after night, I hear him moaning and see the results. I’m getting wet just thinking about it as I shift my position.

‘God I want it to be me, I need it to be me’ my mind is screaming but how can that be? He is only playing with me.

She is the opposite of me, with a light but assured step. I ache inside so deep as I just can‘t do this anymore. He goes to her instantly and lifts her off her feet, swinging her round as she giggles harder. Her hair of blonde catches the light, he must like that as mine is blackest of the black. And mine is damp, small and miserable from the ride, I hate her. Everyone does. I‘m falling losing myself as he pulls her closer. I just want to die.

‘ You’re all damp and trembling. What is it? Tell me’ he puts his arms around me and for a short while I stay there, crying weakly against his chest.

‘I’m damp because I’ve just come all over your precious new beast while I tremble from thinking of the beautiful sitting behind me, now it front of me as I want him buried deep inside of me. There happy now?’ I scream at him through closed, faintly smiling lips.

His shoulder feels warm in the sun and I think how nice he smells, how good it will be to sleep on him, with him. But he is not the one I want, just a poor substitute for the real thing. But I’ll do it, I use him to stop the need from killing me. From killing us both as I see them kiss. I will do it and I shall do it again and again if I have to , a small price to pay to keep my love away.

I mumble that I’m a fine.

‘I scared you. That’s it isn’t it. Driving too fast. That’s it isn’t it? You should have told me. You always tell me when I upset you lizziebelle.’

'not this time sweetcheeks, you'd probably kill me' I wonder as I smile to reassure him that I'm okay. I lie to myself but my gaze is drawn beyond him to the entrance of our hellhole, of school as ‘my angel’ and the girl stand before us. He has been looking at me all the while, stealing glances while tonguing her. My veins pump as I hate her but surely she is just a toy and excuse to ebb us away from each other. I’m begging it so as his hands are all over her, tight and demanding.

I see us together as my legs wobble. Arms entwined, all over each other as they now disappear into the shadowed entrance once more without a backward glance. I was wrong as I hear ‘my release’ talking to me.

‘I only want to make you happy.’ Kyle says.

‘You will I’ say in my head ‘just fuck me and keep doing it till this ache just goes away. Make it go away. Pump me so hard so he leaves me.’ I then forget about school, my further, my life, myself that happened the moment as he's coming back to us… back to me as I plan just how it will be done while still picturing us fucking in all different ways. But again is not Kyle that I see as I see myself slowing walking towards me. With eyes all over me. I burn and heat but I can’t fall.

Besides where is she? His escape or does he love her ? Why do I care because this can never be so good lick...luck I say.

‘God I’m so fucking beautiful that way, the opposite to what I am now’ as I spill out all over again. Good he has come for me as she bounces up behind him. I clamp my legs together to stop myself from falling as I go bang past them, muttering abuse as usual. He pulls me back firmly by the elbow and holds me fast.

‘Let go of me!’ I bite out hard eyes of fire as I see his eyes fill with something alien totally to me. He trembles as I’ve never refused his touch, ordered him away like a naughty little boy. Between heated stares and mumbling from our audience I pull at it harder when his hand falls away as if he’s been burnt. It has as my skin feels like it’s on fire. I step back, my insides crawling.

His only looking at me as he has an excuse about some party that he wants us to go to. But she’ll there, she’ll be coming- both at the party and around him. I wobble. God I need a drink, I only every drink when he’s back and so much. Too much as it helps me forget, numbs the pain. I can’t breathe so I leave without a word as it’s getting harder and harder not to see us he sees us. As he’s always seen us or so I thought.


I feel his eyes burning into me in almost every class, but still I will not look at him as I now sit on the grass not remembering how I got there or for now long as the bell goes and I’m dragged from my pit. I’m thinking of him, I’m always thinking of him this time it’s of how I saw him in the shower that time. And delicious accident? Nope, as I stand and stare. Watching him lather himself up as his eyes never leave mine. Dragging me under as I move towards him, helplessly. He slides the door slowly to greet me, take me… just a pity that they came home that’s all. Isn't it?

As I go to get up I feel someone close to me, too close, sliding his hands down my thighs and buttocks , moving me nearer and nearer the thick bushes at the side of us. He holds me so hard to him I can feel the urgency of his erection as if we were naked. Reckless in want and confusion I let him burrow his cock up my skirt and I want him to carry on as I become hazily aware of the ache in my stomach.

But I push him away, I have to as I look about for somebody, anybody. But in a school crammed there is no one. I pull away but he cups my chin in his hands and forces me to face him.

‘It’s not nice is it?’ he says harshly but still the voice of an angel.

‘What the fuck are you talking about? Let go of me.’ But I’m letting him pull and yank me, grateful that he is touching me.

‘Seeing someone else with what you want.’ His amber eyes are now a blaze.

‘What you tripping on now?’ I bite out as I burn from his closeness.

His face is inches from mine, his breath lapping at my face. The cool on the burning as the dizziness comes. His eyes drawn me in harder as he then whispers. ‘You.’

‘get real. I can take care of myself, don’t worry about it. I’m nothing more to you as you are to me. God just go fuck that bitches brain out and leave me the fuck alone. ’ I pull away. But I don’t walk away as I see the alien in his eyes. He looks full of sorrow. I have hurt him. God I've hurt him.

‘I am... I should have taken better care of you, I’ve let this go on long enough. You don’t belong with him.’ he says the last words in a voice thick with self- chastisement, far more than necessary and it’s already killing me.

We hold each other in plain sight, me shivering as he strokes warmth down my back and whispering over and over again.
‘ it’s my fault, angel...’

‘stop calling me that,’ I whisper as he pulls me in closer.

‘ I need to look after you, I need you, please let me. It’s all my fault I know but I can't help myself.’ He’s closer as people mill around us. ‘..please. I never meant to hurt you but I just can't stop.….’ I’ve never seen him like this as I still leave soiled and drained but I still stand firm. I can’t make myself leave that spot.

He kisses my forehead as I feel his guilt, reiterating his feelings of guilt and blame I sense that the control has shifted from him to me. But he is not the blame, I flirt and play with the fire just as much as he.

‘stop, please just stop.’ I say breathlessly as gentle caress feels so good.

‘run!’ my inside scream at me as the world tilts.

But it is too late as something is pulling at me deep. I’ve never felt like this before as timidly at first, unable not to then gaining courage I place the palm of my hand lightly on the front of his jeans. I can’t stop myself as then I press harder cupping my hand gently around his balls. His cock, semi- erect to start with, swells and strains against the rough tight denim.

I stroke him again and again watching his face, only him as no- one else has the slightest clue, we are just that close. His face lifts from my hair, his eyes blink in surprise; he opens his mouth to speak but then doesn’t. He pushes my shoulders gently back as if wanting, needing to reject me but seems helpless to stop his penis coming towards my hand. I watch with fascination as his pleasure suddenly turns to near pain.

I keep touching him and stopping, touching and stopping him again, even when he groans ever so softly and begs me not to with his eyes. I dig my nails around the contours of his straining cock pushing my fingers behind his balls into the tight area between his legs. I know he’s struggling as I spiral out- of- it.

‘Not here, fuck, Liz not out in the open.’ but his eyes fail him, the need is just too great. I know I want to unzip him, let his cock go free; hard, moist and aflame in the summer air and for me…finally but I can’t.

The sudden feeling of power that I find within his eyes over him is exciting me too, giving me small needling surges of pleasure between my legs. I know I can’t relieve him with my hand or, better, my mouth. Not here in the middle of school. But neither I will stop as suddenly the prospect of making him come inside his jeans fills me right up.

Instinctively I am now rubbing my cupped hand roughly, almost brutally as quickly as I can along the straining shaft. With delight I step back a little to watch a tiny patch of leaked semen darkening his jeans. Just a few seconds more, I can feel it… then, to my astonishment he suddenly pushes my hand away and pulls me to the trees.

I almost fall as he pulls me in and breathlessly, furiously, he comes down to kneel in front of me and with a deft movement has lifted my skirt and pulled my panties savagely down to my ankles.

‘See how you like it then.’ he says bitterly as he knows he can’t come, it’ll show up more on him than on me. He begins to lick and probe with his tongue every fold and hollow and every secret place between my legs. How does he know what to do?…shit I’m not the first but I’m lost to it.

Still I want it, I want him as he grips my buttocks and thrusts me towards his face. My hands hover over him but I need to cradle him there, as I dare to look around us, glad that the trees and the dense bushes are there. Covering us, hiding the forbidden from the eyes that would hate and torture us. I want to come on his tongue, god I am as it suddenly spasms as he delves into me deeper, ebbing me on.

I cry out as he squeezes me harder at my bare ass. I bite down hard on my bottom lip, drawing blood as he nips, licks, sucks, flicks and bites at me harder. So close as my fingers dig into his thick hair.

‘ohmygodohmygodohmygod…’ my release it already so close, too close as he pulls at my lower back. Bunching at my shirt almost pulling my hair as if to take me down. I feel myself begin to spill out while one of his hands drops away from holding me where he wants me and I hear his zip pull down.

'oh J-Jesus.'

He is pulling me down, god this is it. Isn't it? as I jerk my head back, I’m beginning to come I think, as the sensations soar through me. Ripple after ripple…harder and faster as he's yanking me down…pulling me under with every stroke he takes while drinking on me harder, faster.

‘Evans...hey, Evans!’ We both freeze and snap our heads up as time just stops. He gets to his feet still clinging onto me, digging hard into my flesh, pushing up against me. I feel his hardness rub as I'm falling. Our eyes fix as we hear the voice again.

We look back breathless as with a moan we push each other away hard, almost falling over backwards we know it's Kyle’s voice . We pull ourselves back together, yanking clothes on ebbed on faster by confusion and need.

Coming closer as we both fall back from ecstasy unfulfilled. I can't breathe, I can't even think...stumbling almost off my feet. He suddenly jerks towards me and comes for me. One last stroke of my flushed, pinked face with trembling fingers , I shiver from his touch while I burn for him.

‘Just know this… and understand when I say that I’m coming for you, always you.’ he is breathless as I try and talk. To even stand but I’m too far gone. I go to pull away but he still has me.

This is the beginning of the end as we pull together. We go to seal over fate with a kiss at the forbidden for the very first time. Lips trembling, breath shallow, hearts racing, almost there with lips barely touching. So long in coming as my tongue dips out in search of his only to suddenly break apart again hard as the bushes are then pulled apart beside us...

So still confused, don't like, want me to go?

[ edited 11time(s), last at 29-Jan-2002 8:37:09 PM ]
posted on 28-Jan-2002 6:38:09 PM by babyitsyou
for the feedback so far, it's really making me smile if you can say it about this story as is and
Your feedback is just so thoughtful, like your really getting into this.
I love it

[ edited 2 time(s), last at 28-Jan-2002 7:16:23 PM ]
posted on 1-Feb-2002 10:50:48 AM by babyitsyou
Hi, and thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou
for the amazing response to this
I thought you guys had forgotten about it and then it would disappear
Because I think that the parts from here on in are just 'too different' for the board
I'm not teasing or just after more readers..I'm being serious!!!
So I think I better stop posting before I really affend anybody
I'm really sorry
And Thankyou again!!

[ edited 3 time(s), last at 1-Feb-2002 12:46:10 PM ]