|posted on 14-Sep-2001 9:26:37 PM by Flycat64|
Hey guys.. I was waiting for the new board until I posted up After All again - so here it is. I'll get all the parts up as soon as I can.
Category: M/L, AU, Liz's POV
Rating: PG-13, for now.
Disclaimer: Liz lives in Orlando, then her parents decide to move for no good reason at all. ;) She meets the rest of our lovely characters, and well.. goes through some stuff. None of the characters are mine, besides Dawn, Tony, and a few others.
Email: Feel free to drop me a line at Flycat64⊕hotmail.com .
After All - Part One:
I hate this town.
The wonderful, infamous Roswell, New Mexico. Hah. What a load of crap. This place is such a joke, filled with block after block of alien tourist traps. Who believes in aliens, anyway? If they do, who believes in them enough to pay 20 bucks for a T-shirt with some kind of, "THEY ARE AMONG US" jest scrawled across the front and back? Not I says the brown cow. Ugh, look at me. Comparing myself to a friggin cow! I need to get a life.
Wait, hold it up. There, my children, is the problem: I HAD a life. I had a man (correction: a boy. I had a boy disguised as a man.), I had friends. I was happy. At least, I THINK I was happy. What is happiness, anyway? Crap. I'm getting off topic again. So, back to my "other" life. I went to a good school, got straight A's. So, why the sudden move? If only I could get in my parent's head. Figure out what the heck is going on with them, because there is NO WAY that they are making me move from my wonderful life in Orlando to Roswell. Roswell. Ros-well. God, the freaking NAME even gives me the creeps!
Basically, my parent's just strolled into my ex-room one day and said, "Honey? Guess what? We're MOVING! Isn't that exciting? Hush now, and go call your friends to tell them the excellent news!"
It should be illegal to drop a bomb like that on a teenager. I mean, against the parent's written code-of-honor they've all got stashed in their bookshelves somewhere. It shouldn't be allowed.
That's not even the worst of it.
I called my boyfriend first. Big mistake. I should have held on to my "Everything-is-going-fine-with-Tony-and-me" notion, when it was clearly just the opposite.
But that's not the point; the point is that I called. Well, you already knew that, but I called.
I called like any normal person would. Dialing the numbers quickly in anticipation, and impatiently waiting throughout the ringing.
It rang 5 times before someone picked up. Tony always picks up on the 2nd. 3rd, tops. Its one of the reasons I used to love him. Stress the 'used to'. I mean, a girl likes to get through to her boyfriend. No one wants to wait 10 minutes to talk to someone. Anyway.
A girl picked up. Unmistakably the voice of Dawn "look-at-me-look-at-me" Samson. I hate her. She's too perfect. With her long, blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. I was only counting down the days until my jerk-of-an-ex-boyfriend began wondering why he was with ME with SHE was free in the first place.
- - -
"Hello? Who the hell is this?"
"Uh, hi? I want to talk to Tony."
"He's umm... um. Not really, uh - HERE right now..."
God, do they think I'm that stupid? Stupid enough to NOT see that stuttering from her and moaning in the background (clearly from a male voice sounding oddly a lot like Tony) USUALLY equals that something's not right? Horribly not right?
"Put Tony on, Dawn. Now."
I heard some muffled voices, and the tossing of a phone before a male voice picked up.
"Hello? Tony! I need to talk to you. Listen, something big is happening..."
"Uh, I don't really have time..."
What, I'm not as interesting as fooling around with Goddess Dawn?
"Just listen, alright? I'm moving. My 'rents just told me."
Damn it. I should have asked him about Dawn.
"Really? That's too bad..."
"Too bad? TOO BAD? What the hell are you talking about? You sound like you don't even give a..."
"LIZ, listen to me, alright? Uh, I haven't been... completely, well - HONEST with you lately."
Hah. A classic. Stupid jerk.
"Just spit it out."
"Um, I've been with... been with..."
"Been with who?" I prompted.
Please don't say it. Please. Don't say her name. Please, just spare me and tell me you went after someone else. Please say that you and Dawn were just, hell. STUDYING or something! I don't need another reminder that I'm not the perfect highschool guy's fantasy. Please.
"Dawn. I've been with Dawn." he blurts out.
I knew it.
- - -
And... The rest is history. I chewed him out for an hour, at the very least. I also got the nasty facts. I then hung up on him and cried for another hour. Cried because it was all too good to be true, and cried because all the terrible-boyfriends find their way to me. Cried because he was so good at hiding it. Hiding it for 3 weeks. Is that even possible, or am I just dense? Oh, and I cried because I hate Tony. Ok, 'hate' is a strong word. How about, dislike-more-than-anything-on-the-face-of-the-planet-including-creepy-towns-called-Roswell? Does that count?
I called my friends next. Some of them cried, some of their reactions were no better than Tony's "Oh... too bad."
I found out whom all my real friends were when we moved.
4 of them showed up to say goodbye. The brought presents. They also gave me cards, and told me to call ASAP.
I cried some more.
Anyway, that's all in the past.
The present is that it's the first week in June, and I'm sitting on my new "bed". This room is all right. It's not as big as my old one, but my old one didn't have a bathroom accompanying it either. Oh, and the new room has a balcony. Definite plus.
BUT, I live over a restaurant. Ok, a diner. Whatever the heck it is, it is a place where people run around with their pens and notebooks taking orders from people. Oh, and where people in aprons cook these customers their food. Customers that usually don't leave good tips and the waiters/waitresses put up with too much crap for that. I should know. I worked at some little fast food joint called "Arbys" when I lived in Orlando.
Fast food is fun because you can piss the customer off more easily. I never did the spit in the drink stuff, because it's no fun. The person is not gonna KNOW that you did unless you tell them. Nah, I'd make them wait 20 minutes for some fries that took 5 to cook. Or, leave out half their order. When they came back, it didn't matter how much they screamed or how pissed off my boss was, the only thought in my head was, "Hey buddy, YOU had to come back! A waste of your time AND gas!"
I eventually quit because dealing with people's crap about how their order was cold or what not was too much for me to handle. Basically? I didn't get paid enough to do what I do. So I quit.
So, anyway. Back to the topic at hand. Or whatever.
Here I am.
In an alien town.
And since I've got no other option of where to live...
I'll just have to, "deal with it."
Hah. What fun.
* * *
I'll get the other 11 parts up ASAP.
Edited by - Flycat64 on 10/04/2001 18:05:02
[ edited 3 time(s), last at 7-Jan-2002 10:56:15 PM ]
|posted on 14-Sep-2001 9:35:08 PM by Flycat64|
* Part 2 *
It's my first day in uniform.
Oh, and how I hate this uniform.
Its some shade of light blue with a silver low-cut neck. It's basically a short dress, ending over my knees. Oh, and don't forget the wonderful antennas I have to wear. It's embarrassing. At Arbys I had to wear black pants, a green shirt with some maroon lettering, and a tan cap. That uniform is a freaking Queen's outfit compared to this thing. How am I supposed to wait on people in this... this THING?
Speaking of which.
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate waiting on people and serving them food? How much I will despise serving them with a smile and continuing to grin while they yell on about how terrible their food is, or how they ordered something else? Have I ever?
Well. Trust me, I will not enjoy it. Oh, I will not.
My parent's gave me the whole "training" bit on how to operate this diner that we have inherited. I never even knew I had family in Roswell. It turns out that my grandparents on my Mother's side decided that the place was too much for them now, so they offered it to us.
I think we already know what my 'rents response was.
So, who oh who will be my first table to wait on?
I feel a hand on my shoulder and someone speaks up.
"Hey, go serve those guys back there. In the corner. Shouldn't be too hard for you."
I turn my head around to see who the speaker is.
It was Tess. A girl that works here. She's as short as I am with shoulder length, curly, blonde hair. I see the back of her head as she heads off into the kitchen.
She's all right. I don't really know her, though.
I look at the table where she was pointing.
It's filled with jocks. Guys with those blue and yellow letter jackets.
Hah. She has a sense of humor. I might actually talk to her later.
But, for now, I'll give her the satisfaction of "messing" with a newbie. I can deal with them.
I start to head off into the direction of the booth, but before I can there is another hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, chica, don't listen to Tess. The jocks will eat one waitress by herself alive. I'll take half the booth, you take half."
It's Maria. She's probably the coolest waitress here. I'm definitely talking to her later.
Oh, and she dates one of the cooks here. I think his name is Michael, or something.
"It's ok, really. I've worked with guys like that before. Back where I came from."
"Really? Where do you come from?"
"Orlando. Let's just say that the guys there know to never hit on a girl in an Arby's cap when she's got a mop in her hand."
"Orlando? Boy band town Orlando?"
"Yeah... funny, I lived there all of my life and I've never met one of the Backstreet Boys. Tis a pity."
She's really awesome.
But stubborn. Kind of like me.
I started after the booth and she followed.
"I don't care what kind of a mistress you were where you came from, I'm helping you with these guys. At least, I am until I teach you some of the 'tricks'."
She waves it off with her hand.
"Later. I'll tell you later."
I shrug. We've reached the booth now. There are about 6 guys sitting there.
Chris, Kyle, Collin, Matthew, Rick, and Max, according to "The Jackets".
"The Brady Bunch." I think to myself.
Pen in position, Maria leans toward the first three and motions for me to take Matt, Rick, and Max.
"Welcome to the Crashdown. What can I get you?" Maria quips cheerfully.
"Yeah, what she said." I supplied quickly, jerking my chin at Maria and looking at my three guys.
There are some snorts of laughter beside me. Looks like Maria's guys haven't wasted any time throwing in a few lines. Jerks.
"Just you, baby." Rick says seductively.
I struggle not to laugh.
He's trying so hard, too.
"Ok. Me. Would you like fries with that?" I spat.
The 3 guys laugh. Hah.
I glanced at his name, threaded onto his jacket before leaning onto the table.
"Rick, hon. My day is not going so good. So, unless you want me to shove some fries up your ass, I suggest you cut the crap and order some food. What do you think?"
Rick looks a bit startled before he glances at the menu. Matthew does the same.
Max does nothing. Just sits. Waiting.
I noticed that he hasn't made any rude suggestive comments. Good boy.
"Max, while your two buddies decide what they want, is there anything I can get YOU?" I said cheerfully.
C'mon. Take the bait. Make a comment so I can humiliate you like your friend over here.
"Uh, just a Will Smith with a Cherry Coke." he says.
I look up, surprised.
No comments? No flirting? No being a jerk?
I smile at him. He's cute.
"Ok... One Will Smith with a Cherry Coke." I scribbled it down on the order pad.
"I'll be back with your Coke in a minute." I said, shooting a glare at the two guys who were trying to hold back grins.
I started toward the drink machine. Maria is standing there with a smile on her lips.
"So, how were your three?"
"No better than yours, my dear."
Maria laughed, before swatting me with a towel and heading toward the pick-up window.
I pushed the ice button, and then filled the glass up with Cherry Coke.
I glanced back at the table before heading over.
Maybe I'll talk to him later, too.
|posted on 14-Sep-2001 9:43:36 PM by Flycat64|
* Part 3 *
There's so much dust on my un-touched boxes. All holding my wonderful belongings.
I called Maria 10 minutes ago. We bonded after my first shift yesterday, and she agreed to help me unpack my stuff today.
I pushed aside a few boxes before I found one labeled, "Books".
I love to read. Call me a dork, but I really love science. Especially Biology.
There's a knock at my door before it opens. Maria walks in with a guy in tow.
She looks really happy. I can't help but smile when I see the huge grin on her face.
The guy shuts the door, and Maria pulled him over.
She motioned with her hands, "Liz, this is Alex Whitman, one of my best friends. Alex, this is Liz Parker. She's new to Roswell."
"Nice to meet you!" Alex says, reaching out to shake my hand.
I shook it. He seems really nice.
He's taller than Maria and I, with dark hair. He's got lots of freckles and dark eyes to go with his hair.
"So, Liz. Where are you from?" he asks.
"Orlando. Home of the boy bands." I supplied, smiling.
"Think you can hook me up with Nick Carter's autograph? He's my idol!" Alex gasps out.
I can't help but laugh at the expression on his face.
"So. Liz, guess we better help you unpack huh? The three of us can bond over boxes. Oh Liz, it is ok that I brought Alex, right? I figured that the extra muscle could be useful. I also wanted you guys to meet." Maria said quickly.
Alex struck some poses.
Maria giggled as I replied.
"It's fine Maria! Thanks for coming, by the way, Alex."
"No problem. So, how long have you been here?" He asked.
I ripped open the box labeled, "Books".
"Not long. Just about a week. Hence all of the unpacked boxes."
"I see. So, what's it like? Being the daughter of the owners of the Crashdown, Miss Parker?" Alex asked, shoving a pretend microphone under my nose.
"Well, Mr. Whitman, it's all right so far. Some of the customers are, well... let's just say they deserve a slap in the face, but most of the people that come to dine here are pretty decent." I replied in A professional voice.
"Very interesting. Back to you, Deluca." Alex replied.
I smiled. Is it possible that I, Liz Parker, have found some new friends?
I believe it is.
I shake my head so I can concentrate on getting some of this stuff moved out.
"Alex, Maria, could you just help me get some of these books onto the desk? I don't have my shelves up yet..."
"Sure, no problem." Alex replies.
I picked up the box and handed it to him.
He and Maria started going through the books.
"Biology, huh?" Maria asked, looking at one of my hardback books.
"Yeah, I really love science." I said nervously.
Hope these guys have no problem with science geeks.
"That's really, really cool." Alex says impressively.
I gave a tentative smile before sorting through more boxes.
My hand found one in particular.
"Tony memorabilia." I read off the label softly.
I couldn't stop the tears from coming.
I had been so busy with moving that I hadn't exactly had time to feel the heartbreak, except for that short period of time after our call.
The thought hit me like a ton of bricks.
He. Cheated. On. Me.
He actually CHEATED on me. Why? I was great to him. The perfect girlfriend. Did I do something wrong? Or maybe I'm just not good enough? Maybe he had this planned all along?
The tears rolled down my cheeks and I rushed to wipe them away, but not before Maria and Alex saw them.
"Chica, what's wrong?" Maria asked carefully.
Alex tilted his head.
"My ex-boyfriend." I said softly.
Maria's expression turned sympathetic.
"What happened? Do you want to... talk?"
I pushed my hair out of my face before starting.
"He cheated on me with this girl. My school rival. I didn't know until school let out. I just. I can't believe it, you know? It keeps making me think about what happened before all of it. If I did something wrong."
"Chica, the guy is probably just a jerk. Don't worry yourself over him, you're in a new place now. With new people. I'm sure you'll find a great guy here."
The thought just popped into my mind. Why? I don't even know him. He could be just as bad as the rest of them. Besides, Tony was into sports and all that crap. So was the guy before that, and the guy before that. They were all either completely wrong for you or they dumped you for whatever reason. How do you know Max is any different?
But what if he's not.
Most likely, he is.
Most likely according to WHAT? You. don't. know. him.
But he could be.
Or he could be great. He could be the most amazing guy you've ever met.
Now I just need to meet him. It's a small town, and he probably eats at the Crashdown often.
Yeah, with those other "great" guys? Hmm?
Crap. I'm screwed. The jocks always hang out in packs. I'll never get him alone. Unless I stalk him down, show up at his door and demand that he tells me his life story.
There's a thought.
"Liz? LIZ? Liz are you ok?" Maria touched my shoulder, snapping me out of my mental war.
Huh? Wha? Oh sorry, I was just um... thinking." I said quickly.
"Oh. Well, we asked you to go to this party. You know, it's one of those summer celebration kind of things. Practically every teen in Roswell is going."
Hmm. Every teen includes Max. If not Max, some other guys. Problem solved.
"Party? Sure, I'll make an appearance." I said with a smile.
"Alright, well you ladies have to go do the shopping bit. You know, swimsuits all that crap."
"Ok, but later. We have to help finish unpacking some stuff for Liz first."
And we did.
We sifted through the boxes for a few hours cracking jokes and talking about what pigs some men were. Alex wasn't very active in that particular conversation, he just stood to the side and acted offended. Forget the, "he seems nice" crap I said earlier, Alex is awesome. Alex is cool, very, very cool.
Now I just need to meet someone so I can stop wondering if he's nice or no.
|posted on 14-Sep-2001 9:46:05 PM by Flycat64|
* Part 4 *
I flipped through the swimsuits on a rack, looking for something decent.
Maria held up a skin-tight, purple thong.
"What do you think?" She said sarcastically.
"Will I be the life of the party or what?"
"With the guys, at least. The girls will be too busy slapping their menz for giving you the eye." I teased her.
Maria put it back on the rack.
"Well, we can't have that, can we?"
Say something about Max. It's a small town; she HAS to know him, right?
But there could be fifty Max's. CRAP, what's his last name?
"So, Maria. Do you know any Max's? You know, dark hair, tall... all that good stuff?" I said casually as I continued to flick through the suits.
Thong... thong... one-piece... two-piece... hideous one-piece... crap... crap...
"Max? Max Evans?"
"I guess... he was sitting at that booth yesterday. You know, "THE" booth."
"OH! Yeah, that's Max Evans. He's a good guy, once you get to know him. A ladies man, definitely."
I felt a surge of hope.
I wonder if he's seeing anyone...
No no, bad Liz. Meet the guy first, then ask questions.
"Is he seeing anyone?" I said quickly.
Maria looked at me with a knowing smile.
"You like him, don't you?" she said.
"He's cute. Also, he didn't make any comments while I was working yesterday. I just wanted to know if he was free and maybe I could talk to him again." I replied coolly.
"Yeah... Ohmygosh! Look!" Maria said excitedly.
She held up a midnight blue two-piece. It was simple, but it would look good.
Especially on Maria.
"Wow! Go! Try it on!" I said, motioning to the ladies changing room.
"Really? You think?" she said nervously.
"Go!" I said, shooing her.
Maria grinned before scampering off, running into a brunette worker on the way.
Now for me.
Argh, Roswell definitely doesn't have the best choice in swimsuits.
Then I saw it.
A red two-piece. It's a dark shade of red, almost the same shade of that lipstick I always wear.
I checked the price tag. Not too gruesome.
Then the size. Perfect.
"Maria! Wait up!" I called, running after her, and knocking down that same brunette.
This is gonna be good.
- - -
Wow, the suit doesn't look bad on me. Not bad at all.
On top of the suit, I bought a new pair of sandals and one of those matching red skirt cover-ups.
Maria did, too.
We're in Maria's Mom's Jetta, driving to the party. Wow. The party.
So, this is my big debut. My big appearance.
"Liz?" Maria taps me on the shoulder.
"Hmm?" I asked.
"Ok, I was going to tell you earlier, but you know how we were talking about Max -- "
Alex glanced at us in the rear-view mirror.
"Max, huh?" He wiggled his eyebrows, causing me to give him a tiny smile.
"So not what you're thinking, Alex."
"Uh huh." he said knowingly.
"ANYWAY." Maria said loudly.
"Message received, dudette." Alex quipped.
"AWW, COME ON!!!" he yelled, honking the horn at the car in front of us.
Maria ignored him.
"Max." I prompted.
"Right. Max. Anyway, he is the best friend of Michael, my boyfriend. He's also brother to Isabel, Alex's Goddess." Maria said easily.
"I'll have you know that I don't *worship* her. I like her -- " Alex defended.
"-- A lot. So much that it is unhealthy, I tell you." Maria replied smoothly.
I grinned. These guys were too funny around each other.
"We have arrived, my friends." Alex said.
My stomach jumps. I can't believe it; I'm actually going to a party. A party. I used to do this all the time with Tony...
NO. Bad. Don't think about him. Just don't.
The tears still came. I blinked them back.
"So the five of you, you're all like a circle of friends? A pack?" I asked.
"Yeah, basically." Maria replied.
I unbuckled my seat belt.
Time to enter.
- - -
Oy, I can't believe I'm doing this.
It's one of those backyard-swimming parties with dancing indoors.
And I'll say, it's pretty darn wild.
But nothing compared to some of the parties I've been to in Orlando.
In this one Orlando party, it was crazy. Tons of people. Tony drug me to this room in the back, an empty one.
It didn't take me long to realize what his ambitions were.
He started ripping at my clothes.
I tried to make him stop. I tried.
He didn't even realize what he was doing. He was trashed. So trashed.
I was half-naked before I told him I wasn't ready. I begged him to stop.
Then he looked at me, like I had told him that his Mom had died, and left. Just threw on his shirt and left.
Maybe that's why he left me. Why he cheated on me. Because Dawn was ready, and Dawn was ALL too eager to give him something I wasn't ready to.
- - -
"Maria, Liz, I'm gonna get the gang, ok?" Alex yelled above the music.
Maria and I waved him off.
I look around the party. There are tons of people I don't know. I can see Tess, dancing with this guy. He looks familiar.
It's Kyle. From the Crashdown yesterday. Must be her boyfriend.
Now I'm looking for Max. I've never seen Isabel, and I've already had a quick intro to Michael.
I see him. Max is off to the side, talking to a bunch of guys. Jocks, most likely.
Crap. Max in swim trunks had been forever imprinted on my psyche. Not that that's a bad thing.
He's got golden skin, 6-pack abs and damn, he's fine.
I mean, WOW he is FINE.
Ok Lizzie, quit drooling. Look, Alex is getting Max. You can talk to him when he gets over here.
Alex walks back over with a girl and two guys in tow.
"Guys, meet Liz Parker. She's new to Roswell." Alex motions at me.
I smile tentatively.
"Isabel, this is Liz. Liz, this is Isabel." Alex goes on.
"Welcome to Roswell." Isabel says offering a hand.
I give her a smile. She's beautiful and she's nice. I can see why Alex likes her.
I shook her hand.
"Michael, Liz. Liz, Michael." Alex continues.
Michael gives me a nod.
"And. Uh, Max, Liz. Liz, Max. I believe you guys have already met." Alex says, trying to fight a smile.
Max offers his hand. He looks even better up close. Dark hair, strong jaw line. Don't even get me started on the eyes.
I shake his hand.
|posted on 15-Sep-2001 1:24:24 PM by Flycat64|
Sorry guys.. I um, wanted to post the rest but I'm just a tad lazy.. And my wonderful computer was giving me beef.. Forgive?
* Part 5 *
Isabel has dragged Alex away and Maria took Michael inside to dance or talk to people. Whatever.
I'm alone with him.
He looks at me and motions for me to follow him.
"C'mon, we'll walk around."
"Alright..." I reply coolly.
Why am I at this party again?
I seriously hope he doesn't expect me to dance. I've had tons of experiences with that, and I'm scarred for life.
Tony used to drag me out on the floor and make me dance with him.
Parties like that were different, however. You could go to one and never see someone that you danced with again.
If I danced with someone here, then I'll have to see him when I go to school. Heh. No thanks.
My thoughts are interrupted when he nudges me slightly.
"Liz? You alright?"
"Oh, yeah... yeah, I'm alright. Better than all right. Uh, did you ask me something?"
Nice one, Parker.
"I just wanted to know how long you've been in Roswell?"
"Uh, just about a week or so. We're not even completely finished moving and the deals aren't settled yet but my grandparent's had it before me and they wanted to get out of here as soon as possible. Basically, we're living in a house that's not legally ours."
Crap. I babbled. I'm sure he doesn't want to know that much.
"Cool. Where do you come from?"
We're walking along the edge of the pool now.
"No way, Orlando? Home of the -- "
"Boy Bands?" I cut him off.
"Yeah. I'm sure people have been asking you about that -- "
"-- All the time? Yeah. "
Woah. I'm finishing his sentences.
"So, how long have you lived in Roswell?"
"All of my life, really."
"So how did you meet -- "
I motion toward indoors where the rest of the "gang" is.
"Alex, Isabel, Michael and Maria?" he finishes.
"Uh, well... I met Michael, and we became best friends. It's like we have some time of bond, you know? Anyway, Michael started dating Maria, so then I introduced Isabel to them one day. Then Maria introduced us to Alex. We've all hung out ever since."
"Wow... so, you play sports?" I questioned.
He looked at me and smiled.
"Yeah... Basketball, football. That type of thing. Track, too."
"Is that guy, uh - Rick. He's not like, a close friend of yours or anything, right?" I asked.
"Nah. I can't stand him, actually. Sorry about that, you know. Him being... him."
"No problem. I guess you could say I'm used to guys like that."
A guy comes up behind us and slaps Max on the back.
"Sup Evans? Who's the chick?"
I recognize him.
Max motions at me.
"This is -- "
"Oh wait! You're that waitress from yesterday, right?" Kyle interrupts.
You KNOW you live in a small town when the customers remember you.
"Exactly, Kyle. I walk around having everyone refer to me as, 'That waitress'." I snap.
He puts his hands up.
"Woah. No need to be feisty." he replies.
He's checking me out.
Doesn't he already HAVE a girlfriend?
Oh wait. I forgot.
Some guys just don't give a darn.
Tess picks that moment to show up.
"Kyle, what the hell is going on?" She snaps at him.
"Tess, I'm talking to Max. Go on, go talk to your friends." he replies, giving the shooing motion with his hand.
"I'm not a dog. I'll leave when I want. " She replies coolly.
Her eyes turn to me.
"Liz! Hi!" she says warmly.
"Hey." I reply.
"We never really got to talk." she says.
"-- And you're not now." Kyle spats.
He grabs her arm and drags her away.
Tess isn't too happy.
She's screaming and cussing at him. Looks like its about to get ugly.
I want to walk away. I really do.
Kyle and Tess are still at each other's throats. Not too many people have taken notice.
Kyle drags her off to the side of the house.
It's getting pretty late. What if he starts beating her? What if I could somehow prevent it if he does?
I walk over to the side. I'll just see what's going on, then I'll walk away if it's not too vicious.
"I'll be right back!" I call to Max.
He nods in response, looking concerned.
I keep walking.
Their voices are muffled. I walk closer.
I can make out the words that are being screamed now.
"Do you think that because I'M the one that pays for most of it you can walk off and get a new girl to come with us? Is that what you think, Tess?" Kyle says in a deadly voice.
I would expect Tess to have tears streaming down her face and be choked up, but she's just as pissed.
"You're not great company when your high, Kyle. I wasn't going to just walk up to her and ask her, I was going to get to know her and offer it to her. The girl is probably stressed, being in a new town and all. Also, I want a female to get high with. The more the merrier, I say."
"Not yet. Wait until school starts up again." He hisses.
"Why so long?"
"Because. We need to make sure she's not gonna run off and spill. You don't know the chick. She could bust us."
I back away and run inside. I need to go home. To get away from here. From this party.
It was stupid to come anyway.
I never saw that coming.
Tess and Kyle are drug addicts.
And they wanted to talk to me.
They wanted to offer me drugs.
* * *
Be back with more, I promise. ;)
|posted on 15-Sep-2001 1:27:11 PM by Flycat64|
* Part 6 *
I run inside.
Maria. I need to find Maria.
I search the crowd for her.
Crap, where is she?
Then I see her. She's dancing with Michael.
Rather, he's moving a little and she's dancing.
I start dodging in and out of people, running towards her.
"Maria! I need to get out of here..." I say breathlessly.
"What? Why? We just got here!" She questions.
"Wait, are you sick? Did something happen?"
"No no, It's just..."
Wait. What is the problem?
Oh yeah Maria. See, I overheard Kyle and Tess talking about drugs and... and... the truth is, I'm weally scared.
Honestly, why am I so frickin' paranoid?
When they ask me, I'll just tell them to back off. Plain and simple.
Why ruin the party for Maria? I can hold out a few hours. Especially with Max.
Speaking of Max...
"Hey, Maria... Look, I'm really sorry. I'm just kinda, jumpy or something. Paranoid. Just forget it, ok?" I say.
"Are you sure? Because if something's wrong we can go -- " She sounds concerned.
"No no, you enjoy the party. Forget I mentioned it, all right? Just forget it. I'm gonna go find Max, alright?" I assure her.
She nods, and walks away uncertainly.
Well. Now that was pointless.
It's ok. I can do this. Now, think of Max. Look for Max.
I step outside and look for him.
Someone grabs my arm.
I jerk my head around.
"Max? Oh hey! I was just looking for you." I say.
"Where'd you go?" he asks.
"To talk to Maria."
"Oh. Listen, there's a hot tub over on the other side of the pool. Coming?"
"I'll go with." I reply easily.
So we walk...
... And arrive.
He slides in and I dip one toe into it before sitting down and letting easing myself in to sit next to him.
He really is a great guy, from what I've seen so far.
The hot water is all around me, wiping the thoughts from my brain.
I lay my head back. It feels so good.
"So, what about family?" Max asks.
"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"Nope. I'm an only. What about you? Any others besides Isabel?"
"Nah. Just the two of us."
"We can make it if we try." I say absently.
Max snickers next to me.
"Dude, don't diss my song." I say.
"What if I do?"
"You'll pay... very dearly." I say.
My eyes are closed. I'm just relaxing.
Until Max dunks me under.
Woah. Did not see that one coming.
I gasp for air.
Hah. I should wipe it off his face.
I throw myself at him, pushing his head under.
He obviously thinks that petite girls aren't strong.
He comes up, and reaches for me to push me under again.
But I'm quick and slide out of his way.
Before I know it, we're practically wrestling.
I push him backwards and use my weight to hold him under for a few seconds, but he comes up again.
We're both laughing, people are staring, and the water is going everywhere.
But it's fun, so who cares?
The war continues. I dunk him, he dunks me, I choke, he looks concerned, and I push him under again...
Eventually we're both tired and stop.
He used his index finger and thumb to flick water at me.
"I could go another round."
"I could. But you're probably too exhausted. I've worn you out, haven't I?"
We sit in peace for a few minutes.
"Random question: What do you hate most about guys?"
I look at him. That question came out of no where.
"If I respond, then I'll have to hear what you hate most about girls, won't I?"
"Yeah, you will." he says with a smirk.
I push the hair out of my face.
"Ok, fine. I hate it when they get fresh with me right off."
"Like, hitting on you when you first meet, or something?"
"Pretty much. Or copping a feel. Big no no."
"So, you don't like pick-up lines, eh?" he asks.
"No, I sure do not."
"Well Liz. Then I'm gonna have to arrest you."
Aww. He's cute. I've heard this one before.
I turned my head and batted my eyes at him.
"But why, dear sir? I haven't done anything wrong, have I?"
"I'm afraid so. It's clear you've stolen the stars from the sky. I can see them in your eyes."
A grin breaks out over my face.
He is priceless.
"I hate to ruin the moment, but what about you? What do you hate most about girls?"
He closes his eyes. Thinking, I'm assuming.
"Uh. Well, basically being used by them, I suppose."
"Being used? Nobody likes being used."
"Ok. Your turn. What do you love most about guys?"
"Love?" I turn my head and look up at the stars.
I closed my eyes.
"When they're romantic. When a guy treats you like you're the center of his world. His everything. When he never lets you forget how much he cares about you. When he loves you and actually shows it to you. When the guy knows that he doesn't have to do a lot to make you completely melt. Like flowers. An "I love you" now and then, even. That type of stuff. Can't say I've had my share on it, however."
I bite my tongue.
I didn't mean to let that last part slip out. I really didn't.
I've got tears in my eyes. Actual tears.
I'm such a sap.
I turn my head and look at him.
He looks straight into me. INTO me. Like he's seeing ME, almost.
His eyes are amazing. They're this magical shade of amber. Breathtaking.
"What about you? What do you love most about girls?"
He looks down.
"When they accept you. For you. When they actually care about you and never let you forget it. Somewhat like you said. Being loved by them is what I love most."
He lifts his eyes and meets mine again.
He really, truly is a great guy.
You know, maybe this party wasn't so bad after all.
|posted on 15-Sep-2001 1:29:05 PM by Flycat64|
* Part 7 *
I'm back in Orlando, for the last time.
All of our furniture is finally out and into the last moving truck.
After this, it's all over. I'll have left Orlando for good.
Part of me wants to stay here. This place has bad memories, but it has good ones too. So many good ones.
Then there's this other part of me. Part of me that wants to go back to Roswell. Back to Maria, and Alex. Even Isabel and Michael.
Back to Max.
I wipe the tears off of my face. Crap, I must look horrible. My mascara is probably everywhere.
I lean onto the car and fix the dark trails going down my face from my tears.
I know I have to go to Roswell. I don't have a choice in that matter.
But there's still one thing I need to do before I go.
Some unfinished business, I guess you could say.
I check my watch. I've got plenty of time.
"Mom! I'm gonna drive over to a friend's house to say one last goodbye, alright?" I yell.
"Sure honey. Be back soon, all right? We're almost ready to leave." She calls back.
"Sure." I reply.
I open the car door and back out of the driveway.
I can't believe I'm actually going to do this.
No no. Bad Liz.
You WILL do this. Before you lose your nerve. You must. You absolutely must.
With every block my stomach ties itself into one more knot.
I'm scared. I'm actually scared.
I shake my head and continue driving. I'm going to do this. I am.
I pull into the driveway of an all too familiar house.
For the last time.
I reach into the back seat and lift a box.
Ok Liz, you can do this. One step at a time.
Step, breathe. Step breathe.
Crap, what am I going to say?
Why didn't I think of these things before I left the house? Ugh.
No no, you WILL do this. You will.
I'm on the patio now. I reach out one shaking hand to press the doorbell.
Breathe Liz, Breathe. The words will come. You'll know what to say.
I shift the box's weight onto my hip.
The doorknob slowly turns as someone jiggles it to get it open.
Tony peeks through the crack, before opening the door more.
He's shocked. Utterly shocked.
Bet he thought I would cry myself to sleep every night for a month and then keep calling him, screaming that he made a mistake.
That I would turn suicidal or something. That I can't breathe without his sorry butt in my life.
Think again, Tony.
"Liz? Oh my gosh. I thought I'd never see you again! Do you wanna, come in?" He asks nervously, motioning inside.
"I'm fine, thanks. I'll be leaving soon anyway."
I thrust the box into his hands.
"Tony memorabilia..." he reads off the cover.
"Why are you giving this to me?" he asks.
Tears fill my eyes. I try to blink them back. I will NOT cry in front of him. I won't give him that satisfaction.
"To forget you. Tony, I'm moving. Starting over, not that you care. But I am. I can't, I can't... start over if I still have part of you with me. I can't. So I'm giving all of the stuff in that box back. You can throw it away, feed it to Dawn. Whatever. But I'm not keeping it. All of my memories of you will remain in Orlando. I don't want them to follow me. I... I... CAN'T let them follow me. I won't." I bit out.
He looks stunned.
"But Liz... please. I gave you this for Christmas." He says, holding up a long silver necklace.
"... and this is the ticket stub from the first movie we saw together." He holds it up.
He's hurt. I hurt him.
But not nearly as much as he's hurt me.
"It's over, Tony. You're the one the made that decision. 3 weeks ago. The second you backstabbed me with Dawn. " I spat out.
"Something going on?" A girl speaks.
Dawn comes into view. With her long blonde hair and blue eyes. Sheer perfection.
It hits me again. Tony chose her over me.
Suddenly anger over takes me. I do something I should have done a long time ago.
I slap Tony across his face. Hard.
He grunts from the sting. I slap him again. This time with my other hand.
"What the hell are you doing?" Dawn snaps.
Heck, I'm on a roll.
I raise my hand and slap Dawn. She whimpers.
"Goodbye Tony." I spit at him, my throat tight with emotion.
Then I spin around on me heel, and leave him behind with his lap dog.
It's finally over now.
|posted on 15-Sep-2001 1:31:17 PM by Flycat64|
* Part 8 *
It's my first day of school. First day of school for every student in Roswell, actually.
Can't say my summer wrapped up with me partying day and night, because it didn't.
After "The Party" I had to run back and forth between Florida and New Mexico. Orlando and Roswell.
Then, I had to work long, hard hours all summer.
My 'rents are slave-drivers I tell you. Slave-drivers.
I know, I know. Lame excuse. But it's the truth.
I hung out with Maria and Alex some days, and I saw Max and talked to him the times that he came in the Crashdown for his lunch break.
He works at the UFO museum across the street. Some days he would come, some days he wouldn't.
Anyway, now I'm at the wonderful Roswell High hanging with Maria and Alex.
We're talking about our classes, trying to kill time until the first bell.
"So, what do you guys have first period?" Alex questions.
"Biology." I answer. I've already got my entire schedule memorized.
"English." Maria answers.
"P.E." Alex says in a blank voice.
I'm getting nervous. I wonder if Isabel, Michael, or Max have Bilogy first period.
If not then I'll be stuck alone. I really don't know anyone in the school.
The first bell sounds.
Off we go.
- - -
I glance at my paper with my combination printed on it.
"17, 1, 19" I mutter, spinning the dial.
I pull the lock, and it opens for me easily.
There's something new. My last locker got jammed so often that the student aid whom you had to ask for help at the front office and I became pretty good friends. Eventually even the ladies that worked up front came to know my name and we talked pretty often.
I unzipped my backpack, pulled out a few pencils and a spiral and eased it inside.
I glanced at the yellow door of my locker.
I've got to get a mirror or something. Add some stickers, photos, whatever.
I'll have to ask Maria and Alex for pictures.
"Feeling at home yet?" Maria asks as she leans against one of my neighboring lockers.
"Not really." I reply. My stomach is tying itself into knots.
Maria pats my shoulder reassuringly.
"Don't worry chica, it'll all work out."
Alex approaches as I shut the door to my locker.
"Hey Alex." I say.
"You ladies are lucky. It's gonna suck having PE first period. I'll be disguisting all day." He says.
Maria punches his arm.
"You sound like a girl." She says.
I laugh and Alex pretends to be offended.
"You've crushed my ego, DeLuca."
"There there." I say, patting his back.
The warning bell sounds.
"Cherrio!" Alex calls in a imitational french voice.
Maria and I laugh.
"Well, I guess its off to class then, eh?" She says.
"You gonna find your way alright?"
"Yeah, I'll make do. No worries." I assure her.
"Ok. See you later!" she calls as we head in opposite directions.
I start down the hall and see Max, Michael and Isabel walking together.
I approach them.
"Alright, me and Michael have art first period so we'll see you later." Isabel says easily to Max.
"Hey Liz!" Isabel says.
"Hey!" I reply.
"How's it going?" Michael asks.
"Pretty good, thus far at least."
"Alright, we'll talk to you later. At lunch, maybe."
"Ok. Talk to you then." I call.
She and Michael head down the hall.
"So." Max says.
He looks good today.
Heck, what am I saying. He always looks good.
He has a tiny amount of gel in his hair, causing it to have a glossy look. It falls onto his forehead perfectly.
He's also wearing a white shirt under "The Jacket".
"So, what do you have first period?" I ask.
"Biology." He says.
"Me too! Walk me to class? I'm not exactly sure where it is." I say lamely.
"This way." He motions for me to follow him, and I do.
He leads me into the classroom and over to one of the back tables.
As soon as we sit down, the teacher walks in.
I set my spiral down in front of me and wait.
I glance at Max. He looks back at me and gives me a tiny smile.
"So, welcome to Biology. My name is Mrs. Patterson. Call me Mrs. P, Mrs. Pat, whatever." Our teacher says.
She claps her hands together.
"So, this is a small town. We don't get to many new students in a small town like this."
"Wonder why." Someone mutters.
The class snickers at the comment.
'Mrs. P' as we call her, doesn't seem to care.
"Anyway, so there is a new student this year -- "
Oh crap. She's going to make me "tell the class about myself". Ugh. I thought this only happened in movies.
"-- I want you all to make her feel welcome. Her name is Liz, Liz Parker. Could you raise your hand for me Liz?"
I lift a finger in the air casually.
Mrs. P spots me, and smiles.
"Welcome, Ms. Parker. Care to share where you come from?"
Some of the kids throw glances at me.
"I see. Your parents now own the Crashdown, am I correct?"
"Yeah." I reply, not bothering to elaborate.
Mrs. P obviously sees my want to be left alone, and quickly changes the subject.
"Anyway, we should get started on our lesson. But once again, Welcome to Roswell, Liz."
If I hear 'Welcome to Roswell, Liz' one more time...
"Please note that whoever you are sitting to right now is your permanent partner all year." Mrs. P speaks.
Max and I look at each other. He smiles.
I give him a tiny smile in return.
Mrs. P starts droning on about the lesson. I'm having trouble concentrating because of the fact that Max is sitting next to me.
I can hear his breathing, feel his body heat.
Why does this bench have to be so small?
How am I going to be able to concentrate on ANYTHING this year?
Hmm... I wonder if he is really bad at Biology. Then I could tutor him. Or stay after school and work on the project here... alone.
Suddenly I'm fantasizing about making out with Max on this very table; and worse.
You know, I've heard that roleplay sex is the best.
I wonder if it's true?
No no, bad brain. BAD. Do you hear me? BAD. Do NOT have thoughts like that.
Let's just say my brain wasn't cooperating the rest of the class period...
"-- I want you all to read pages 48 to 62, and answer the questions on this paper I'm handing out. There is a total of 20." Mrs. P says loudly.
Crap. Homework on the first day? Teachers are crazy.
Mrs. P starts handing out books and papers as the bell rings.
Once we both have our stuff, Max and I head out of the class together.
A group of 5 guys wearing, "The Jackets" start calling to Max.
He looks at me gives me a smile, and walks over.
"See you later!" He calls.
"Yeah." I reply. "Later."
I sigh and walk down the hall of Roswell High.
|posted on 15-Sep-2001 1:33:04 PM by Flycat64|
* Part 9 *
The next few periods were kind of a blur... I don't remember too much.
But all of my teachers have felt some kind of NEED to embarrass me horribly and make me introduce myself.
Anyway, so it's 4th Period P.E.
Our coach sucks, I can tell you that straight off.
But, I have Maria AND Max in this class. Well, Max has guy's P.E. but the same period, that is.
The girl's locker room is just your average room, I suppose.
Showers, more yellow lockers, blue banners on the walls.
A bulliten board. Some lipstick graffiti here and there.
Benches... that's where I am now, sitting on one of the benches, just kind of staring off. Thinking.
"PARKER, LET'S GO!" Our coach bellows.
Geez. I'm not deaf, lady. My hearing will slowly deteriorate if exposed to over 90 decibels just like everyone else.
I get up, and Maria grabs my arm.
"Come on Chica, let's go. There's gonna be a run today..."
Oh, what fun. Heh.
Wonder what Max looks like in his PE clothes?
BAD brain. Don't think of him. Walk.
Anyway, so I've got on a black, sleeveless shirt, black gym shorts with a stripe down both sides, and your average sneaks with white socks.
Average clothes, right?
Me and Maria are out on the track field now.
"So. Uh, I guess we better stretch, right?" Maria asks.
"Maria!" A voice calls.
I look up. It's Michael.
I didn't know he had PE 4th period. Or maybe he snuck out of class. Who knows?
Maria looks at me uncertainly.
"Don't worry about it, I'll be fine. Go on." I tell her, giving her a small push into Michael's direction.
She smiles and jogs off.
I flip my head around and look for the coach.
She's out of range. She'll never have to know.
Now. What was I about to do, anyway?
Oh. Right. Stretching.
I sit on the asphalt of the track and curve my legs inward to do a "butterfly". I lean forward.
I'm used to these type of excersises.
I wonder if Roswell has a gymnastics program somewhere?
I love to flip, stretch, and work with the bars and beam. Plus the floor rountinues. I basically love gymnastics.
It makes me feel free. In control, and graceful.
"Liz-a-licious..." Some blonde guy says.
How the heck does he even know my name? Do I have a class with him, or something?
"Do I know you?" I say impatiently. I pray that he'll leave.
"Of course. I'm that really hott guy that sits next to you in English, remember?"
Oh. That butthead. Great.
"No." I snap.
"I know you remember me... anyway, so... you up for the run today?"
"Well I guess so.. wouldn't want to be sent to the vice principal on my first day for, "failure to follow orders" contrary to what some people may believe."
"Hmm... I see. I'd be happy to give you some company in your walk. That is, if you're up to it."
I so am not in the mood to flirt with him. Max, on the other hand...
"Get the hell away from me, whatever your name is. I'm not in the mood." I spat.
"Aww. Come on sweetie, tell me your problems. I can make them better, I assure you."
I look at him. He is so pathetic. He thinks that he can actually seduce me? Hah. Think again, blondie boy.
"My problems are nothing that you can handle, I assure you. Goodbye."
"I don't know about that."
He looks hesitates, and then gets up and walks away. Thank God.
Finally. I can stretch in piece.
I shift my legs so that one is curved inward and the other sticks straight out. I lean forward and grip the edge of my shoe.
"Liz?" A voice asks.
It send shivers down my spine.
I look up. It's Max.
He looks GOOD. Hott. Even better than this morning.
I give him a quick once-over. He has on gray shorts with one of those while muscle shirts, sneaks, white socks, and dog tags around his neck.
"Liz? You ok?" he asks, stooping down to meet my level.
"Fine." I say quickly.
I stand up and brush the dirt off of my clothes and start to walk.
He puts a hand in front of me and looks at me with a devilish look in his eyes.
"You're gonna sprain an ankle, or worse. You didn't stretch good enough." He says.
I arch my eyebrows.
"What do you presume I do, Coach?"
"Sit." he says, motioning to the asphalt.
I follow orders and sit. I then look at him expectantly.
"Now lay on your back."
I comply. What the heck is he going to do.
"Give me your leg." He motions.
I lift my left leg up some.
He situates and leans forward onto my leg, stretching it above my body.
Gotta admit, he knows what he's doing.
He repeats action for my other one.
I let my legs drop and hit the asphalt.
"Am I done now, coach? Is it safe for me to run?"
"I think so." He smiles and offers me a hand.
I take it.
He pulls me up, and I dust off my clothes again.
"Shall we walk?" He asks, pointing.
"Let's." I reply.
I start to go and he stops me again.
"What now?" I ask.
"I'll race you." He arches his eyebrows.
I put on a smug look.
I get into position and let him do the count-off.
"On your mark..."
Wait, this is wrong. He's a jock, he'll beat me. Hands down.
I smile, sprint off and run like hell.
I hear his cries behind me.
"Cheater!" he calls.
He takes off.
I start laughing, and running.. and running.
He's gaining of me.. but I'm so close. So. Close.
He is now at stride with me. Crap.
I stick out my hand and refuse to let him pass. So close. SO CLOSE.
Suddenly I trip over him and fall onto the finish line. He stumbles and hits the asphalt. Hard.
Crap. I'm such a klutz.
I'm out of breath and down on all fours.
I didn't get cut, but what about Max?
I look at him he's sitting down, with a huge cut on his knee. Gritting his teeth.
I crawl over to him and take a look at it.
I used to work at a Daycare center. After Arbys, of course. Anyway, I'm pretty used to cuts.
So I'm expierenced with first aid.
"Hang on, I'll be right back!" I say. I get up and start running.
We're too far from the nurses office, so I'll have to do it myself.
I run toward the coaches chair that she has positioned on the field.
She has pencils, pens, a whistle, lots of spirals, balls...
A first aid kit sits amongst the clutter.
I retrieve it and run back to my hurt Max.
He's groaning. Ouch. Must have been one hell of a fall.
"Let me see." I say firmly.
I position myself in front of him and take another look at the cut.
Ok. I need to clean it, first off.
I pop open the kit and fish around for my needed items.
I finally find them and unscrew the lid on the plastic bottle before pouring the liquid out onto some cotton balls.
I dab it onto his cut.
"OUCH." He groans. "That crap stings."
I give him a look.
"It's also going to prevent your cut from getting infected. Suck it up."
"Hey, your not the one that bit the dust, alright?"
I can't help but smile.
He's so cute.
"Take it like a man." I say.
"If you say something like that ONE MORE TIME. This mess hurts, alright?" He bites out.
He's hott when he's mad.
I look up and meet his eyes.
I lean forward, purse my lips and blow cold air onto his wound.
That shuts him up.
I can't help but give myself a mental pat on the back.
I lean back again and look at him. His look has changed. He's not mad anymore. He's got a twinkle in his eye.
"Better?" I ask, as I dab the blood away.
"Much." He replies, his voice husky.
I meet him in a gaze and give him a tiny smile.
Then, the bell echoes throughout the fields.
|posted on 15-Sep-2001 1:35:27 PM by Flycat64|
* Part 10 *
Scratch scratch. Scratch. Scribble. Scratch.
The sound of a pen moving across paper, that is.
Or maybe just to me it is, being that I would rather be doing something else. Anything besides working on my homework.
Teachers are evil, I tell you. Evil.
So, I didn't have too bad of a day. Not bad at all.
I wish Max would ask me out.
Ok, where did THAT thought come from? My brain has been acting like a very badly trained dog, I tell you.
What's this crap about being able to control your mind? My brain must have some kind of defect, then.
All right, how is it possible to travel from the thought of dating Max to brain defects in less than 10 seconds?
Wow. Must be some kind of record, or whatever. Anyway.
What? I told you my brain was badly trained, defective, warped or something. Sue me.
So: Back to the topic at hand. Max.
I drop my pen on top of my Biology homework. I'll finish it later.
I wish he would ask me out. I'm so longing for that moment!
I mean, he's amazing. A perfect personality mixed with good lucks and charm skills.
Ladies and Gents, we have a winner!
Oh, he's a gentleman as well.
Wow, I'm melting myself. He's a great guy. I've actually fallen for a great guy this time. What are the odds of that?
After all the heartache, pain, suffering and sorrow; I too can find a good guy. A man, not a substitution of one.
But, he needs to ask me out. I mean, I'm not even completely positive that he likes me.
Sure, there are the looks, flirting occasionally and the conversations. But, it's possible that I am misreading his signs.
What if I am? What if he is actually dating someone and I'm not aware of it? Could I be in danger of looking too desperate, or something? It's possible. It is very, very possible. But then again, Maria or Alex would have said something, right? They would have been considerate enough to tell me and not let me go off on some twisted mission to be with him? I mean, they ARE my friends.
Paranoid. That word comes to mind. I am so paranoid.
I've been right about the signs in the past, so why should I be worried now? Unless Max is some kind of player, which he's not, this will all work out.
Maybe not the way I want it to, but it'll work out.
I just have to give it the push, and hope it falls my way. Hope that we can be together.
Hope that he's not like the others.
Not like Tony.
- - -
"So, are you into sports, Liz? Volleyball? Track?" Maria asks blankly as she twists a ring around on her finger absently.
I'm killing time with Alex and Maria again.
School Day: Numero Dos.
I pick at my nails, which are currently bare except for the occasional fleck of leftover clear polish.
Sports. Hmm. Never really considered them.
Max plays sports. Maybe I should --
NO. No no, you will not. You will not throw yourself at something completely anti-you for the sake of a potential relationship.
Stress on the word, 'Potential.'
"Liz?" Maria asks, looking up at me.
I'm probably scaring her, or something. Whoops.
"Sports? Err - no, I've never played them. Well, I-I've played them, just not... You know, for school or anything." I tumbled out.
Smooth Parker. Real smooth.
Maria nodded in understandment.
"Do you?" I replied, arching an eyebrow.
Maria blushed a little, before responding.
"No, I've um. Had some bad experiences with it before..." She trailed off.
"Like what?" I asked.
"You know.. Broken bones.. bruises.. perverted coaches, that type of thing." She responded.
I whipped my head up in surprise and arched an eyebrow.
"Perverted coaches? You didn't -- "
"NO! No no, never.. never." She reassured me.
I nodded, my worry seeping off.
"I should have busted that coach." Alex said in a no-nonsense tone.
Maria smiled and thwapped him on the head.
The bell shrieks across the field. Gotta get used to that.
I tugged the straps of my backpack on and pushed my hair from my face.
"May I ask why you ask?" I question Maria.
Maria gave me a tiny smile as she gathered her books.
"No reason, really. Just curious as to if you plan on being active in that type of thing this year."
We started across the school lawn, the wet grass slipping and squeaking beneath our shoes.
I glance up at the brick walls of the school. Roswell High. I'm still not used to being here, but it's only my second day.
Things will get better, right?
- - -
"Another day, more assignments." I mumble as I spin the dial on my locker.
Made it through day two in pretty good shape, if I do say so myself.
I pull at the lock. Stuck. Damn.
I glance at the door of my lock, and for the first time notice the bright pink Cheerleading Tryouts paper taped to it.
"This so better not be a sign." I say to myself, and roll my eyes.
I snatch the paper off of the door and crumble it up before tossing it on to the floor.
I shake my head and give my locker combination dial another whirl.
I tug at the lock again, and it opens. Good locker.
I should name my locker. Kinda dorky, but I named all of my previous ones.
What? For Max's initials: M-E.
Why not just his initials instead of their sounds? I'll feel too friggin' self-concieted if I name my locker "Me", ok? Ok.
It's like, "Damn you, Me! Cooperate!"
I would probably scare someone. Not that I care.
Emmie... it's perfect.
I take care of my books before slinging my backpack onto one shoulder.
I reach up to tuck a few fallen strands of hair behind my ear, and falter when I glance down the hall.
Max. He's leaning up against someone's locker FLIRTING with some girls in short skirts. Cheerleaders.
I don't know any of them, but I recognize the "leader" of the little pack. Tess.
No surprise there, druggie Kyle has no problem flirting with other girls so why should druggie Tess not be able to flirt with guys?
Tall, handsome, built guys? Why not?
I grind my teeth, anger slowly building up. What the heck is he doing?!?
Can't he see how completely pathetic they look? Throwing themselves at him with their seductive smiles and flaunting of the extremely short skirts?
Can't he see?
Tess. Back down girl, because you don't want to mess with Liz Parker.
I can see Tess smile and shift herself suggestively at Max while making her skirt ride up a bit.
I saw him first.
Max wants a girl in a short skirt that knows how to flirt? I can give him that.
Oh, I can.
I lean down and pick up the crumbled cheerleader paper.
More anti-me than the whole sports delio.
I slam the door to my locker.
He'll get what he wants. Tess doesn't stand a chance.
|posted on 15-Sep-2001 1:37:04 PM by Flycat64|
* Part 11 *
Oy, I can't believe I'm doing this.
3 weeks ago today, I picked up that cheerleading paper.
3 weeks ago today, I chose to try out for the squad.
And today, after 3 weeks of stressing over this small thing, I try out.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against cheerleaders, but it's just not me.
So then why am I doing this? I have no clue.
Actually, the last few weeks haven't been a piece of cake, either.
I had to go to this meeting to be "filled in" on the low-down, then go through a training type thing.
All leading up to today.
I must look ridiculous in a skirt. I never wear them, and here I am in all my glory.
I glance over at Maria, who is stretching by the bleachers.
Luckily, I convinced her to try out with me. At least I'm not so alone.
She wasn't exactly eager to do so, but in the end, she agreed.
Her first reaction was to laugh until tears filled her eyes and she was rolling around on the floor.
As was Alex's.
Then, Alex finally said that if it was what I wanted, I should go for it.
This statement was rewarded with more laughs, until finally, I went in for the kill.
"I bet Michael would die if he found out his on Maria gets to prance around in a skirt and make the kiddies drool."
Maria recently told me that she and Michael had gotten into a fight, and she had been searching for ways to make him jealous.
She saw this as an opportunity, and quit laughing. She agreed, and we went to all the pre-tryout trials together.
I bounce on my toes. I'm eager to get through with this.
Then, Miss Tess scampers in, her menz in check. Guess she drug him along to watch her from the bleachers.
It's really strange how one moment Tess is at Kyle's mercy and the next he is her lap dog.
Druggies these days.
"Come on girls, get in line. Tryouts will now begin!"
I wring my sweaty hands. I'm nervous, actually nervous.
But if it's for Max, what the hell.
Maria grabs my arm and drags me over to the line on the side of the gym.
Hmm, maybe if the judges are all guys, I could hike my skirt up a little and flirt my way onto the squad.
I glance at the table. 5 judges: 2 male, 3 female.
So much for that strategy.
Suddenly a whistle blows and the coach waves the first girl in.
She runs up in front of the judges table and begins her first school cheer.
To make it on the squad, you have to do 2 or 3 different tumbles, a couple of made-up cheers, some school cheers, yadda yadda.
The first chick is doing pretty well, until she stumbles in one of her moves.
I glance at the judges, see their exchanged looks and they then make some notes.
One strike your out. How nice.
I fold my arms across my chest, my heart racing. There is no way I can pull this off. No way.
Maria taps my shoulder.
"Girl, are you stressin' out on me?" She says with a concerned tone.
I swallow hard, and then shake my head.
"No no... Just a little, um --"
"Nervous?" She supplies with a smile.
"Yeah." I reply.
I turn my attention back to the try-outs going on.
The line slowly dwindles away, until Tess is up next.
I watch her, silently booing in my head.
She prances to her place before the judges, grinning, and then begins her cheers.
Every word comes out just right. Loud, peppy, and clear.
Her moves are graceful and tweaked to perfection.
And, she's all smiles.
Once she finishes her tryout, she walks to the judge's table and tells them something before scampering off to the showers.
More girls go forward with hopes of making the cut.
It's my turn.
I freeze. I can't do this. I can't.
Maria gives me a little push forward.
"Go for it girl!" She whispers excitedly.
She flashes me a grin, and I slowly but surely walk in front of the table, casting a quick glance at Maria.
She smiles and traces her feature to remind me to plaster a smile on my face.
I nod and then turn back to the judges, flashing them all these pearly whites have to offer.
I then begin my cheers, giving it my all.
When I'm done, I flash one last smile at the judges to sweeten the deal.
I whip my head and throw Maria a thumb up sign and she grins back, running out to take my place on the floor.
I scamper off the showers. I can't wait to get out of these clothes.
When I'm halfway to one of the stalls, I peel the uniform away from my skin, and chuck the rest of my clothes onto the bench.
I give the dial on my gym locker a whirl, open it, and jerk out a towel and my gym bag.
I set the contents down on the bench, and then walk into a free stall before adjusting the nozzle and turning up the hot water.
The spray hits my face, causing my skin to tingle. It feels so good.
I let the water run down my body and through my hair before grabbing a bar of soap and washing away the sweat.
It's truly amazing how a shower can make one feel so content, but it can.
I turn off the water, and then step out, immediately grabbing my towel and wrapping it around my body.
"Hey Liz." A girl says.
I turn around to see a dressed blonde smiling at me. Tess.
"Hi, um, Tess." I saw awkwardly, now unzipping my bag to change.
"Can I, show you something? A place? And introduce you to some people?" She asks, motioning toward the door.
I furrow my brow, and study her expression. She doesn't LOOK like she's plotting something evil.
The memory of the party where I found out her drug using ways flashes into my brain.
She looks on expectantly.
"Um, I, uh.." I stumble over my words.
"It won't take long, really. You know what? Just get dressed, and I'll wait for you by that door, ok?" She asks politely and then backs away, not bothering to wait for my reply.
I just look on stupidly.
I jerk on clean clothes and then pull my damp hair back with a scrunchie.
Wonder what she wants?
Who could she possibly want to introduce me to?
I stuff my uniform and dirty clothes into my bag, before swinging it onto my shoulder and slamming my locker.
Might as well see.
- - -
I look on to what Tess has brought me to.
A group of people, sitting in front of Roswell High's watertower behind and very far away from the school itself.
The group consists of Kyle, Rick, and one other guy whose name I do not know, and two other chicks.
"This is my little circle of friends, Liz. Guys, this is Liz." Tess says.
She starts pointing at faces and telling me the names of these people.
"That's Kyle, my boyfriend." She starts.
"Yeah, we've met." I say politely.
She nods, and continues.
His flirtatious ways back in the summer flash into my mind.
"Welcome to the Crashdown. What can I get you?"
"Yeah, what she said."
"Just you, baby."
I remember him, too. I see the sign of recognition on his face as he smirks.
I shoot him a death glare before turning my attention back to Tess.
"-- That's Brad. And the girls --"
I look at the female portion of the group.
Rebecca (or 'Becca' according to Tess has dark black hair that falls around her shoulders with brown eyes, thin eyebrows and a tall frame. Sarah is the second girl, with long blonde hair that falls to her waist, and deep green eyes. She's short, more like Tess and me. The 3rd chick is Melissa. She has shoulder length curly brown hair, a basic medium frame with a set of deep brown eyes. They're all extremely beautiful.
They all give me nods, kind of dazed.
I scuff my feet along the ground, as Tess smiles at me warmly.
"So, since you're new and all, we thought we'd just give you the invite. Let you know you're always welcome to come and chill with us, anytime."
I nod, and then the realization slowly hits me.
I stare at the group.
They all use drugs. This is the infamous 'group' that Kyle and Tess were discussing at that party. These very people.
"I, I.. I better um, go." I spit out pulling my hair back from my face, shifting nervously on my feet.
Tess arches an eyebrow.
"Go?" She asks, a small smile playing at her lips.
I nod, harder than needed.
"Yes, I have to.. have to.. wash my hair." I stutter.
Tess gives me a confused look and nods.
"Yeah, my hair. Haven't washed it in awhile, and you know. I sweated my butt off in the tryouts, only builds up the oil. Can't afford to have any more dandruff, you know? I, I used this great shampoo, too. I mean, I love Head and Shoulders, Suave, and Pantene Pro-V really does the trick, but this stuff is really awesome.. um, it was really expensive, you know? Like, 20 bucks a bottle.." I ramble.
Tess stares at me awkwardly.
I risk a look at the rest of the group.
They don't think anything more of my little outburst. God, how can I be so freaking stupid sometimes?
I just made it completely obvious that I was lying. I'm usually so smooth, so cool.
Usually I really am the perfect liar. But, what can I say? I'm freaked!
Then again, these people are drug addicts. They're probably all high right now.
I back away a few steps.
"Yeah, so I'll just go." I mutter.
I turn around quickly and Tess grabs my arm.
She throws a glance at the group behind her and then tugs me a few feet away.
She leans in.
"Liz, listen... I uh, I know how difficult it is to begin at a new place, a new school. New environment. It's not.. It's not easy. So, um.. If you ever want to hang out with me or any of the guys back there, feel free!" She says shyly before giving me a smile.
"We really like you. We'd love to get to know you more." She grins and I reward her acts with a tiny, forced smile.
Better just to humor her. I'll be able to leave faster.
"Right, um... ok." I say.
I back off and walk a few steps before she calls to me.
"You know where to find us." She says.
I turn my head and nod.
"Yeah. I know."
Despite the fact that the sun is frying the earth and the beings that inhabit it;
Despite the fact that I should be skipping and sweating from my kickass tryout;
Despite it all, I still can't prevent that shiver from running down my spine.
|posted on 15-Sep-2001 1:38:53 PM by Flycat64|
* Part 12 *
I take in a deep breath, give my hands a shake, and then adjust the straps on my backpack.
I can do this. I can.
Even if I do feel like a soldier walking to his death, I can do this.
All I have to do is walk down the hall, and look for my name on a piece of paper. Simple.
But God, why is it that the simplest of tasks can become so freaking difficult?
Why am I so nervous? So nervous of failing?
Because, if I don't make it, Max might not think I'm good enough.
He might forever consider me just a little girl with a crush on the side. A toy to mess around with.
No no, Max is better than that. Cruel thoughts like that could never cross his mind. They can't.
I take one small step forward. See? That wasn't so hard.
I take another, and another until I pick up a nice steady pace.
My breath quickens, my palms start sweating, and my speed increases as I rush toward "The List."
The judgement list, I muse.
About 5 or 6 girls are gathered around the list, staring onto a pink sheet of paper carefully taped to the wall.
Some are frowning. I see a few girls grin and punch their arms in the air, followed by a "Yes!" or similar.
Pushing my way past a few, I take in another deep breath, and force my eyes to look at the paper.
As soon as they look, I start searching.
Parker, Liz. Parker. Liz. Par. ker. Liz.
Not too difficult.
I see Tess's name with a small printed star next to it. Wonder what that means?
I avert my gaze to a small key in the upper corner.
'* = Squad Captain.'
Hmm, so that's what Tess was talking to the judges about. She wanted to be head of the 'a' squad.
The 'b' squad is just filled with backups. People who tried out and will fill in whenever need.
Like replacements. That has got to suck. Sit around and wait until they need you.
I roll my eyes at the thought of Tess barking orders at me and keep looking.
I grin. Maria made it!
Finally, in the last column, I see it.
I pinch myself on the arm, and blink twice to make sure I'm not imagining it.
Still there. In black and, err - pink.
I take a few steps back. No use making this into a big deal...
Aww, what the hell.
I punch my arm into the air, and then give a little cheer.
I push through the double doors, a grin on my face.
- - -
"Order up, Lizzie!"
I push back a few strands of hair behind my ear, and then carefully lift two plates of some kind of alien theme food off of the counter.
I mean, really. With the Crashdown, all they do is take normal food and then brand it with some kind of wierd name.
I mean Will Smith? Alien Blast? What the heck is that?
Oh, and I still hate this retro uniform I have to wear. It's sickening.
I mean, I have to wear this skirt, and the tips still don't come in good.
I should get way more money for my efforts. Unfortunately, I can't get a raise for a couple more months and the male portion of customers obviously believe I need to hike my skirt up more if I want them to cough up a few extra dollars.
Why do I even try?
I carefully set the plates down on the customer's table, plaster a decent smile on, and politely ask them if they want something else.
The customer is a forty-year-old balding man who is the most finicky eater I've met in a long, long time.
I've already changed his drink three times (the first time I got the wrong soda, the second he said it tasted funny, and the third time he changed his mind and said he wanted water) and his food twice. (First it had some unwanted toppings, and then it was too cold.)
Insert the rolling of the eyes here.
I watch as he sips his water, takes a bite of food (putting on a show of wincing a little) and then gives me a thumbs up.
"Good enough." He said grouchily.
Good thing, otherwise I would have been fired for attacking the guy.
'The customer is always right.' I repeat to myself quietly as I walk over to the register.
Maria is smiling while thumbing through what looks like twenty bucks.
"Paid early?" I tease, watching her.
"No, two customers worth in tips. Generous ones." She says smugly.
My jaw drops.
"How the heck do you get that much money?" I ask.
Maria smiles at me again, and then motions at her skirt.
Her skirt which is way shorter than mine.
"They were both guys?" I ask.
"Yeah. I did a few tables in your section while you dealt with that old man." She says.
"Oh. Thanks. So how did you get such a small uniform? That's the secret, right?"
"Welcome. Yeah, they have a few small sizes in the back. One of my 'tricks'. Remember? I believe I mentioned them before."
"Yeah, you did. So the first trick to higher tips is shorter skirts?"
"Exactly. You can suit up during your break."
"What's the second?"
"Well... there is the gross stuff, like spitting in the drinks. And then there is the way to make a customer that gets too fresh pay, like the food in the lap and dropping of the drinks."
I nod, with a small devilish smile.
"Oh, it is. There's more, but I can't think of them off the top of my head."
"Right." I finish.
Maria nods and starts to walk off.
Suddenly, I remember.
"Maria, wait!" I say.
She spins around.
I give her a big grin and then grab her arms.
"We made the squad! You and me both!" I say excitedly.
A huge smile breaks out over her face and she gives me a hug.
"Wow! I can finally make Michael jealous! And you; you can do whatever it is you were planning to...do."
"Yeah." I say, nodding. No need to make it into this huge deal.
"So, um. I'm just gonna go." She says, jerking her thumb towards the back room.
"Oh, right." I say, giving her a nod.
She smiles again and walks away, making a show of throwing in a little bounce.
Liz Parker: Cheerleader.
About a month ago, if you would have asked me if I saw myself being a cheerleader, I would have given you one simple, short, and sweet answer.
But hey, that was a month ago.
- - -
Aching legs. Tired muscles. Sore throat.
Unfortunately, all are 'minor' symptoms of being a cheerleader with a slavedriving captain.
Tess and my parents should talk sometime.
They're both into making their employees and squad members suffer. Tremendously.
It's the second practice I've been to since I looked at that list about a week and a half ago.
The other practices will be held much more closely together and more often, but since the jackets, bags, and extra uniforms are still being shipped, practices were delayed.
I shove my hair back from my face as Tess barks at two girls who are having trouble getting another girl into the air gracefully and safely.
"God, all you have to do is hold her up and make sure she doesn't fall! Try it again!" She spits at the two girls.
They faces show a mixture of embarrassment and anger as they both mutter 'O.K.'s' at a very unsatisfied Tess.
"You know, maybe Patricia is too heavy for Taylor and Andrea." I speak up.
"Not to offend anyone." I amend when the three of them shoot me curious, but thankful glances.
Tess whips her head around, tight, blonde curls falling around her face.
She gives me a polite smile before speaking.
"Um, Alright Liz. That could be the problem. If not, then these two are just weaklings." She says calmly, throwing an ugly glance at Taylor and Andrea.
Another sugary sweet smile. Directed at me.
"Why don't you take Patricia's place? I'm sure she could catch up on your floor routine."
Great. Just what I want. To be thrown in the air, with no guarantee that I'll be caught.
My body tingles with joy.
Wordlessly, I walk over to Andrea and Taylor, shooting them both looks.
Looks that say, "Catch me or your arse gets it."
I place one hand on Andrea's shoulder, and the other on Taylor's.
I avert my gaze to Tess, waiting for her starting signal.
All I have to do is let them lift me up. They'll be holding my feet directly under their chins. From there, I just smile and put my hands up.
I don't have to cheer, or do anything much until Maria does her backflip and the words "don't mess with the best" are said.
Tess claps her hands, standing in front of the squad and says the cheesy, starting lines.
"Ready?" She calls.
"OK." I mumble.
The cheer starts. I hoist myself onto their hands with decent grace, let them lift me into the air and then throw my hands up in time with the other two girls being held up. I plaster a huge grin on my face.
Well, so far so good.
Andrea shifts a little so she can scratch her nose.
With that simple move, I can feel my firm grip on balance slipping.
Spoke too soon.
My smile quickly vanishes as I feel my body begin to tip backward.
Andrea and Taylor panic, and the next thing I know, my body crashes on the hard rubber floor of the gym.
"CRAP! How could you let me fall?!?" I scream loudly as the pain washes over my body.
Andrea and Taylor starts sputtering out 'I'm sorry!' as I place a hand gingerly on the small of my back.
It aches... Oh, it aches.
The sweat drips down my body as I vaguely remember that I skipped breakfast so I could get here on time.
Suddenly my body begins to feel like it's boiling. From the inside.
Tears of pain begin to prickle at the back of my eyes, and I blink them back, tipping my head back a little to hold them in.
I start to see colored spots in front of my eyes as Tess scampers over.
"Liz? LIZ! Liz answer me! LIZ!" She starts calling out.
The world fizzles in and out of focus.
"LIZ?" I hear Maria call, as she grips my hand.
And that's what I start to fade out to. My name being called by various cheerleaders.
Then, it all explodes into black.
I feel my body go limp.
I guess I lost my grip on consciousness, too.
* * *
Phew. Well, that's all folks, for now. Freedback, if you'd be so kind? *bats eyes*
|posted on 3-Oct-2001 6:00:07 PM by Flycat64|
|Pain. That's what I wake up to.|
My lower back aches as well as my head, and my stomach.
Oh God, my stomach.
I feel it growl and I let out a small groan.
"Liz? Are you awake?" A voice calls.
I feel someone grip my hand as whispers start up.
I guess this is the part where I open my eyes, hug and kiss everybody and run home happy?
Not. Hah. But well, I at least need to open my eyes.
My eyelids feel like they both weigh a thousand tons each. Not counting my eyelashes.
With much effort, I manage to lift them and stare at the tiles that make up the ceiling.
I blink a few times, still trying to get rid of the fuzzy, clouded feeling that overwhelms me.
With that done, I slowly turn my head over to the expecting faces of several various people.
Maria and Tess stand close to the bed on which I lay, both still in their uniforms with concerned looks.
Isabel and Michael are both sitting on chairs, staring at the bed with equally concerned faces.
Alex is standing, but came to a halt. He was obviously pacing. A surprised look is upon his face.
Max sits next to the bed where I am, gripping my hand and staring into my face, his face soft.
I let my eyes travel across the room. I am presumabley in the nurses office, I suppose.
Wonder where my parents are? Didn't someone call them? Or do they just not care?
Wait a minute, what the heck happened in the first place?
I rack my brain for a second.
Oh, that's right. I passed out, or something. The 'goddesses' known as Andrea and Taylor dropped me, and I passed out.
Ugh, this can't be good.
"Max?" I manage to whisper.
Everyone seems to notice then how quiet it was when I turned over and let everyone know I was alright.
He holds my hand tighter and gives me a forced smile before letting it fade.
Concern and worry wash over his features.
"Are you.. alright?" He asks cautiously, speaking the question that is on everyone's tongue, I'm sure.
I nod quickly.
"Yeah, I'm fine. But, why are you all here? Why am I still in here?"
With those thoughts in my head; Determined, I try to sit up.
Max gently touches my shoulder and urges back onto my previous postion on the bed.
"No." He says firmly.
"Lay down, you passed out. No sudden moves or jumping up." He says.
"So anyway." I prompt.
"Right." Max says as he throws a glance at everyone present.
They all use their eyes to silently communicate and tell Max to fill me in.
He nods, and begins.
"Right, so anyway. You passed out in the gym. Maria and Tess brought you into here, and the nurse started flipping out, so I don't know if she even remembered to call your parents. Well, um, word got out on the football field so I came here to see if you were ok. Alex was in the music room, working on his playing, and I paged Is about 10 minutes ago to come up here, and she brought Michael." Max reeled off.
I nod as I take it all in.
Wait, why is Tess still in here? Does she actually care?
I look at her and give her a smile before repeating the action for Maria.
Tess grins back.
She's just looking out for her squad members. That's all. Can't let them all get injured.
But what if she just genuinely cares? What if she doesn't even do drugs anymore?
Or maybe I blew it out of proportion? Who knows. All I know is that Tess obviously cares if I wake up again, thus she's here.
Max finally lets me slowly sit up and I lean in to hug him. He takes me into his embrace and strokes my hair before I pull away.
Maria attacks me and I reassure her that I'm alright before thanking Isabel and Michael for being there.
I then turn to Alex, and hug him to show my gratitude.
"Thank you all for being here." I voice and there is murmured 'sure's' and 'anytimes' around the room.
Using my hands, I smooth out the rumpled skirt of my uniform.
I then glance at Max. He notices my gesture and arches an eyebrow.
It just now hit him. I blush and smile before jerking my thumb at the phone in the corner of the tiny room.
"I better go call my parents. I'm ready to go home, is that alright with you Tess?" I ask carefully.
"Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Oh, and Liz?" She asks.
"Eat something. Like, soon." She says firmly.
I smile and wave it off.
"Yes Mummy, I will." I tease her and she walks out.
I motion towards the door.
"You're all free to go." I joke.
Isabel and Alex grin and Maria lets out a giggle.
"You gonna be ok?" Alex asks.
"Yes, I will." I assure him.
Isabel smiles and tells me to eat something as well.
I groan a little and she laughs.
"Come on Michael." Isabel calls. She and Alex walk out.
"Coming." He murmurs.
"And you." He says, touching my arm.
"You stay concious, her me?" He says.
"Ok. Later." Michael disappears from the room and Maria starts attacking me again.
"Be ok?" She asks.
"Yes. Go back to practice. Go." I say and nudge her towards to door.
She looks at Max who is currently standing, hands in pockets, at some painting on the wall.
She then shifts her gaze to me, arches and eyebrow and gives me a knowing smile.
I blush and swat at her.
"Go." I say again.
She takes the hint and scampers out.
I spin on my heel and look at Max.
As if knowing that I'm looking at him he averts his gaze at me.
I stare into his deep, warm, amber eyes. Intense emotions churn in them as I look on.
Suddenly he blinks, and pulls one hand free to motion at my uniform.
"So. Cheerleading?" He asks, pushing his hand back in the pocket of his shorts.
"Yeah." I sat absently, nervously glancing anywhere at him.
I glance at his face and wish I hadn't. He rakes his eyes up and down my body, obviously approving what he sees.
I feel my face flush as I cross my arms and start scuffing my feet uncomfortably.
He clears his throat.
"So -- The phone." He says quickly.
"Yeah!" I agree and then begin walking towards it.
"Better call Mom and Dad."
"Wait --" He says.
I spin around, pushing my dark hair from my face.
He looks at me, his eyes burning.
"What?" I say shyly as he takes a step closer.
He approaches me until he's standing directly in front of my and then tucks a few strands of hair behind my ear, causing me to look at the floor.
"I could drive you home, if you want, that is. Practice is over for today." He says hopefully.
I grin up at him.
"I'd love that." I say and wait for his reaction.
His face brightens as he extends a hand, and I place mine inside of his.
He takes my hand and guides me out of the room.
"Then, drive you home I shall." He says.
I can't help the goofy grin that goes across my face.
Then I remember.
"Wait-- my clothes. I need my clothes. I can't just leave my gym bag here." I start saying reluctantly.
Max looks at me and nods.
"I'll go with you." he says, and I nod awkwardly.
Go with me? Into the girl's locker room?
Whatever. I lead the way into the locker room and he follows me.
The girl's locker room is hot. It's been that way since I got here, and I'm assuming that it's never going to change.
The hot flashes start up again. God, what's wrong with me?
My legs start to feel weak again and I put a hand on my forehead as I try to remember where I put my gym bag.
The colored dots start to appear in front of my eyes again.
I'm going to collapse again. After assuring everyone that I was ok, I'm just gonna walk away and pass out again.
"Max." I whimper. Before I know it, he's there.
He's always been there.
"Liz? Liz, tell me what's wrong." He says.
I turn on my foot and then let myself collapse in his arms.
The world spins, I try to blink back the colored dots which are caving in... giving me tunnel vision.
My head pounds as I'm overwhelmed with more heat.
I vaguely register it when Max lifts me up carefully, and sets me down on a bench, not wanting to leave me.
"I.. I need to eat. Now." I whimper.
I don't understand it. I'm not diabetic. I know that for a fact. I just... need to eat.
Max walks away as I sit with my face in my hands, willing all the signs of conciousness leaving to go away, pardon the pun.
In the distance I hear change being put in a slot, and the wonderful sound of a soda falling through the machine.
Then the sound of it being taken out.
I hear his footsteps as he quickly comes back to me.
He thrusts a soda and a bag of chips into my hand.
"Eat. Now." He commands and I try to keep my hands from shaking long enough for me to open the bag.
He notices my acts, leans in and opens it for me.
I smile my approval and then take out a few chips before shoving them in my mouth.
Max touches my arm.
"Eat it slow. You'll throw it back up if you don't." He says softly.
I nod, and slowly chew.
Max glances beside me and takes my unopened soda, pops it open, and hands it to me.
I take a sip before looking at Max. Really looking at him.
He's kneeling between my knees, staring at me expectantly. Like I could disappear on him at any moment.
His face is soft but filled with worry. His eyes, they're filled with warmth and concern for me.
I must have really freaked him out.
I feel a pang of guilt as I continue looking at him.
He tucks a few strands of my hair behind my ear and smiles at me.
A smile that tells me that it's going to be ok.
Everything will be ok.
|posted on 3-Oct-2001 6:01:48 PM by Flycat64|
|Again, thanks for all the awesome feedback, you guys! Hope you enjoy the newest part. |
|posted on 4-Oct-2001 5:00:41 PM by Flycat64|
etoile1, No, Liz isn't diabetic. ;) I actually explained this back on the old board. What happened to Liz is something really common, actually. She didn't eat. Your body needs food, otherwise you don't have energy to do anything. Liz skipped breakfast and then went to cheerleading (which can be really, really intense) and she was basically running on nothing. Thus, she passed out. And she almost did it again. So no - she's not diabetic at all. Hope that clears up any confusion.
|posted on 13-Nov-2001 4:27:52 PM by Flycat64|
|SciFiNut111, Ooh, thanks for letting me know about what it's called. I really appreciate it!|
etoile1, It's not a problem! I'm glad when you guys point out stuff like that, because it helps me make my fic more realistic. ;) Thanks alot, and I apologize about the confusion. I'll have the new part up soon, I hope.
Sorry it's been so long!
[ edited 1 time(s), last at 13-Nov-2001 4:29:02 PM ]
|posted on 13-Nov-2001 4:45:50 PM by Flycat64|
|Title: After All|
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, unfortunately.
Here's the newest part.. Tons of apologies for the long wait! Thanks so much for sticking around though, guys.
After All - Part 14
It's the first game of the season.
Tess has been, "prepping" us for this "huge event" for weeks.
It's not that big of a deal. We go, we see, we cheer, we smile. Rah Rah. Pun not intended.
But hey, whatever.
I've developed some kind of new respect for Tess after that day I passed out during practice.
I don't know. Before, I thought she didn't care. But now, I'm not so sure.
I've even noticed that she's been easier on me than the other squad members.
It's kind of hard to believe, but it's all the truth.
But wait, I can't get sidetracked. Tonight is a big night.
Tonight is the night I'm supposed to talk to Max.
I need to know. Need to be put out of my misery.
I need to know if he cares about me in that way. The true me.
Or, if maybe I'm nothing more than the new girl in a skirt to him.
In a nutshell: I need to know if I matter to him or not.
I have to know.
- - -
My throat aches.
I've been calling out cheers and doing backflips and various tumbles for over an hour.
The game is almost over. That much I know.
I glance around me at all of the aching and tired girls.
I feel your pain, guys. I feel your pain.
"Come on girls, they're about to do the last play of the night. We need another cheer."
I groan but take my position. Tess organized and numbered how many cheers we would do, and in what order.
She gives us the signal and the cheer starts off.
After my passing out incident, Tess was convinced to let me have the floor in most of the cheers.
Andrea and Taylor were switched out of their lifting positions. Maria and this other blonde chick, Heather, took their place.
I plaster on a decent grin. My face aches from smiling the whole night.
Three girls are lifted up behind us as I go into my backflip.
Two girls beside me to their walkovers as the girls behind us lean back and fall to be caught by a web of arms and hands.
This is my cue to run back behind the 3 groups, and I do.
I take position with Carla and Michelle, both squad B people.
The group in front of mine angles themselves toward us, and tosses their girl into the air.
She arches back, does her appointed kick of the leg and lands onto our arms.
The same happens to the other two girls. Luckily, they're all caught.
The crowd cheers as my group and the other two flip our girls back onto their feet.
At this point in the cheer, we're all supposed to run forward, scream our "Number One" and "We're the best!" post-cheer banter.
Instead, we all do something along the lines of dragging ourselves, give out a few calls, and then bend over to catch our breath.
We're quite the teen movie version of cheerleaders, lemme tell ya.
The play is in motion now. The ball soars through the air to various 'Comets' before I see my very own Max Evans catch the ball.
The people in the filled stands are jumping up and screaming now.
I take a few steps closer and my eyes follow him across the field.
The clock is ticking...
30 yards... 20 yards...
The screams get louder.
Max dodges a few players from the opposing team.
Another guy makes a grab for him, causing Max to stumble.
The crowd is hushed as the buzzer sounds and Max holds up the ball, still firm in his grip.
The people in the stands from our school erupt with cheering, calling, and rooting.
I grin as I join my squad of jumping cheerleaders.
I even make the show of adding in a few shakes from the blue and yellow pom-poms I have.
As I stand there in the midst of the girls from my squad, time seems to go in slow motion.
It's one of those perfect, happy moments. One that no one can take away from you.
I stare at the sky just in time to see thunder crackle, and rain starts coming down with lightning flashing overhead.
Spoke too soon.
The girls all scream and start to hurry inside the school to change clothes in the locker room.
The people in the stands aren't much better as they all start jumping up to find shelter - and to go to their cars.
But not me. I still need to talk to Max.
To congratulate him and ask him that very important question that's been put off for much too long.
- - -
Max and I walk together around the edge of the field. Just the two of us.
The rain stopped a little while ago, and most of the people left.
After I finally found Max, I told him I needed to talk to him.
After he quickly agreed, he ran off to go change and I did the same.
Max changed into a white shirt that hugged most of the muscles I know are there, with gym shorts.
Me? I changed into a black tank top and that pair of black shorts I have with the white stripe down the sides.
I still haven't said anything to him.
I just, don't know how to do it. I'm not all that great at questioning guys on their feelings.
It makes me just as nervous as I know it makes them.
Besides, what if I can't handle the answer?
What if he says something that makes things worse instead of better?
Once I know how he feels, I can't go back and change it. Wondering how he feels could be a good thing.
But not knowing drives me crazy.
Max's voice then interrupts my mental war with myself.
"So, um... did you want to tell me something?" He asks.
I stop in my tracks.
"Yes. I did. Actually, I-I wanted to tell you something and ask you something."
I freeze. The words just aren't coming. What am I supposed to tell him?
He looks at me expectantly and touches my arm.
"Hey, it's me. Go ahead." He assures.
I know it's you, Max. That's the problem. That's why this is so hard to do.
I pick at my nails before meeting his eyes carefully.
"Max. I-I need to know how you feel." I blurt.
He gives me a puzzled expression.
"Me. I need to know how you feel about me."
Max's gaze darts everywhere. He's trying not to look at me.
"I don't know." He says quickly.
I don't know. I. don't. know.
What the hell kind of response is that?
I would expect myself to be hurt, right now. To run off crying, steal Maria's yearbook, and then cross out every picture of him I find in said yearbook.
But I'm not hurt. Not that much, anyway.
I'm too angry and unsatisfied with that answer to feel that hurt.
"You don't KNOW?!?" I hiss.
I then rush onward before giving him a chance to correct himself.
"I-I.. I don't know what to say here. I did everything to get your attention, and yet you don't know. I moved here with this plan. I was going to change. Going to get rid of every part of the old Liz, since that Liz wasn't me. She never was me. I went to a freaking party with hopes of catching a glimpse of you. For you. That's something the old Liz would do. The not-me Liz would go to a party for some guy. Then, at this party we have this, I don't know. This amazing, world altering moment and then the next thing I know you're off flirting with TESS for God's sake. Tess. Tess and a bunch of her little friends. Cheerleaders. Didn't you wonder why the heck I even went out for the squad? For YOU. I tried out for you! I thought I wasn't good enough, so the old-Liz in me went at war with real-Liz me and won. I tried out for something that is completely NOT me for hopes that you would notice, and then I freaking ask you how you feel about all of this, and you say you don't KNOW?" I reel off.
Max stares at me, hurt and surprise in his eyes.
I throw my hands up.
"You know what? I'm just gonna go while you stand here and think about what an obsessed freak I am." I spit out, defeated, and start to back off.
Max grabs my arm.
"Liz, wait." he says.
"Waiting." I say impatiently.
"First of all, you're not a freak. Secondly, I don't care about whether or not you're on the cheerleading squad. That thing you saw with Tess? I've figured out after years that the best way to get rid of her and her friends is to humor them. No lie. It stuns them, or something. So I humor her. If I don't, well, she's dense. She doesn't back down. She just keeps talking. Anyway, I've been at war with myself for weeks. Trying to figure you out. Trying to know if I'm your type, if you feel even one shred of what I feel when I look at you. " He says.
I gaze up at him and he meets my stare.
My heart soars. He feels the same way! He actually cares!
"What if I told you I did?" I ask tentatively.
"Liz..." He says, his voice low.
I carefully take one step closer to him.
He repeats suit, and leans his head slowly down to meet my upturned ones. Our hot breaths mingle, passion and unaltered feelings blazing out in the open.. Our lips so close, I lean in further.
A small drop of water lands on my cheek, and I brush it away.
Must be its cousins.
The rain starts coming down harder.
Well well, the whole family decided to stop it.
I take a small step back from Max and turn my gaze to the sky.
Thank you, wonderful gods of fate. You really know how to make a girl's day.
"Let's go." I mumble. Looks like the wonderful soul searching kiss of passion is taking a rain check, literally.
He nods, and we both turn and take off at sprints through the already wet ground.
Fact: Running on wet mud, will 9 times out of 10 result in you slipping and busting your ass in said mud.
As many others, I am no exception to statistics.
My foot hits a clump of mud and before I know what's going on, both of my feet slip out from under me as I fall.
The gritty, disgusting stuff covers the entire front of my shorts and top as well as a good portion of my body. And hair.
Great. Just great.
Carefully, I use my hands to push myself up from where I fell, cringing at the feel of mud covering my skin.
I hear Max's muffled laughs a few feet away. With one hand, I wipe the mud away from my face and turn around to face him.
His shirt and shorts soaked, he walks over to me and offers a hand; unable to keep the cheesy half part smirk, and half part amused grin off his face.
I smile sweetly, and take it.
I let my smile fade as I jerk an unsuspecting Max into the mud with lightning fast reflexes; quickly sliding out of his path before he introduces his gorgeous face to the mud.
My turn to laugh.
And I do.
Max stares at me before quickly plunging a hand in the stuff and hitting me directly in the face with it.
I let out a shriek, and wipe a decent portion out of my eyes and mouth before returning the favor.
Chilled to the bone, we both spring to our feet as the war rages on.
It's like a snow fight, only minus the snow. Oh, and snow fights are much less... dirty.
Mud starts shooting in every direction, laughs and screams echoing around the now empty field.
After a few minutes, we're both laughing to the brink of tears. I pull myself together, and get an idea.
Gasping for breath, Max is hunched over, turned slightly away from me.
I stoop to my knees before dipping a hand in the mud and enclosing my palm around it; holding it behind my back and approaching him.
"Truce?" I call over the sound of the rain.
Max looks at me carefully, the water dripping from his bangs and face.
He furrows his brow before nodding slowly and awkwardly.
"Truce." He says, with a hint of reluctance.
I extend my hand, grinning at him.
He shakes his head furiously.
"No no, we've already done that." He says, motioning at my palm.
"Oh, come on. I said truce, remember? I won't jerk you into the mud. Promise."
I arch an eyebrow before slowly placing his hand in mine.
I grin, and shake his hand once before pulling him closer and whipping my hand out from behind my back to smear mud in his hair and as much of his face as I can reach as he jerks his body away.
His grip tightens on my hand as he swears and slips again, pulling me down with him.
He hits the ground and I follow, collapsing limply on top of him.
He gives me a look, before his eyes darken and he flips us over.
Pinning me down into the ground, he slowly smears mud across over my face and hair, despite my shrieks and squirming.
Wrenching a leg free, I swiftly wrap it around his neck, and force all of my weight onto him, the mud slippery mud aiding me as I turn him over.
He shoves me off and grabs my arm, pulling me back toward him playfully.
After another good few minutes of wrestling, kicking and throwing mud, rolling around, and laughing, Max pulls me toward him gently.
I laugh and get ready to jerk and wrench free until I see his intense, burning gaze.
Sliding me halfway under and halfway beside him, he sprawls a leg across mine and tilts my head up to look at him.
My breath catches in my chest as I stare up into those gorgeous amber eyes.
Smiling softly, he tentatively reaches up with his hand, brushes as much of the mud as he can from my face.
I can't help but keep wear this giddy smile as I laugh softly at the gesture. He smiles back gently, his fingers caressing my cheek.
"God, you're beautiful." He whispers, cradling my head with his hand and smoothing my hair back with the other.
Tears sting at my eyes as my smile quickly fades. He's so perfect... so amazing.
Then, with soaking clothes, a body splattered with mud, and with the rain still pouring...
He buries his hand deeper in my hair, and stares in my eyes.
I hold my breath and wait. He's actually going to kiss me. Actually going to --
He leans forward slowly before brushing his lips across mine, lightly and gently.
Every coherent thought vanishes as I gasp at the sensations that run throughout my body.
He pulls his head back slightly to smile against my lips before leaning in again, connecting his mouth with mine.
This time the kiss is longer, deeper.
His tongue traces the seam of my mouth, parting my lips and pushing past my teeth.
My hands roam across his back, thread through his hair, trace his collarbone and neck as our tongues touch for the first time.
God, this is perfect. Amazing. Beautiful. Intense.
A muffled groan escapes my lips only to be swallowed by Max as I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him down, closer to me.
Suddenly, an image dances across my closed lids, with feelings and senses accompanying it.
3 young children, covered in clear film standing in a dark cave type surrounding. 4 pods are nearby, each one sending off a type of glow. One has a young girl with a head full of blonde curls swirling in the liquid. Feelings of confusion and curiosity wash over me.
What the -- ?
I'm hallucinating, or something.. But it's hard to think about that when Max Evans is tracing soft circles on your skin and exploring the deepest recesses of your mouth with his tongue.
Hands intertwine and bodies shift against each other as we both show each other exactly how much passion we both feel.
The rain beats down on us as we continue to kiss, continue to taste, and continue to explore.
It's another one of those life-altering, perfect moments.
Only this one is better than all the rest.
This one is heaven, and no one is taking that away from me.
I'm kind of unsure about this part - but it's the best that would come out.. What do you guys think?
|posted on 14-Nov-2001 10:08:00 PM by Flycat64|
|Thanks alot guys! |
I'm so glad all of you liked it, and again I apologize for the loong wait. I hope to have the next part up soon.. Again, thanks tons!
|posted on 15-Dec-2001 12:42:22 AM by Flycat64|
|Eek, I'm sorry again for making you all wait for ages. But here's the new parts! I'm posting two to make up for the long wait. Hope you guys like -- tell me what you think!|
A good groan, though.
A happy, satisfied, "this moment is perfect" kind of groan.
What else would you expect? Me to be unhappy in the middle of a heated makeout session with Max?
About a half hour ago, we finally drug ourselves off of the football field, and proceeded to our locker rooms to get our gym bags.
Max then insisted on driving me home. We made a few stops on the side of the road, though.
For um, "heated discussions". With our tongues, of course.
Anyway, so we finally arrived behind my lovely apartment dwelling on top of the resturaunt known as "The Crashdown."
It was just supposed to be one kiss goodnight. Really. I swear. No lie.
We pull apart for air, and I glance at the clock in his jeep.
I was supposed to be 'home' over an hour ago.
Funny how time flies. My mom will murder me. Maybe my dad will even jump in once she's done.
I groan again. This time it's not the good kind.
It's one of those, "Crap, how the heck did I screw this up so big?" Kind of groans.
I then bite my lip. Can't say I regret what happened tonight, because I don't. Wouldn't ever take it back. Ever.
"Max, it's way past curfew. I have to go, really." I try to convince him, as reluctant as he is.
He nods slowly.
"Alright. See you tommorow?" he asks, a mischevious smile on his lips.
"Yeah." I say, flash him a grin, and then jump out of the jeep.
I sprint at the ladder. The rain is still beating down, strong as ever.
I grip my fingers around the highest rung I can touch before scampering up it, careful not to slip.
Once I hit the top, I turn around, give him a quick wave and make a dive for my window.
I squint through the rain as my fingers fumble with the task of lifting it.
It jerks open suddenly, leaving me looking surprised into the eyes of a very pissed off mother.
This is not good.
But the fear that I feel, it's nothing compared to the hurt and pain that overwhelms me with I see the look of betrayal in her eyes.
She thinks I lied.
Thinks I snuck out.
Thinks that I was out having sex, or partying, or doing something relevant to that.
But I wasn't.
"Come in. You'll catch a cold." Her voice has an edge. Cold. Shielding most of her emotions, except the anger.
Oh, the anger.
I slide down the sill and open my mouth to explain.
"Who's that boy?" She spits out at me, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
I reach my hands out behind me, pushing down at the sill as I try to stall the question.
I suddenly realize how terrible I look. Messed up hair, wet clothes, covered in dirt.
And crap, I left my gym bag in Max's jeep. I'll have to get it from him later.
"He's um.. a friend from school. My lab partner."
"That is a bunch of bull if I ever heard it, Liz. Don't lie to me." The tears flow freely down her cheeks.
"Mom, I.. I.. It's not like that! Really! He's my lab partner, nothing more!" I try to reassure her, my voice betraying me and revealing my anger.
What the hell am I? I thought I was her only trusted daughter.
How is it possible to diminish all of your Mom's faith and trust just by breaking curfew?
She shakes her head just then, furiously scrubbing the tears off of her cheeks.
"I-I.. I'm sorry Mom!" I blurt, my eyes betraying me now.
Hot, wet tears slide down my cheeks.
She meets me in a gaze, pain and distress shining through her eyes; through tears.
"Sorry's not enough, Liz. It never will be. You know that. Two words aren't going to take back what happened tonight. As much as I wish I could believe you Liz, I don't. That boy, he's not merely a platonic friend. I know he's not." She says, pain dripping from each word.
And then, at that moment...
At that very moment - the one person who I thought would take me for my word..
Who would understand me, and have faith in me more so than any other human that inhabits this planet;
That one person takes a few steps back - before turning and walking slowly out of my room; shutting the door quietly behind her.
The tears continue to fall as I clench and unclench my hands into fists.
After a few minutes of pacing, seeing red, and chucking pillows at the wall I collapse to my knees and let the sobs overtake my body.
I lean up against my bed, clutching my knees to my chest as the sobbing dwindles down to silent cries.
At least, that's the correct term for it. Depression has many faces.. many names.
Alot like people.
Depression is the word they diagnose patients to psychartrists with. The word they use to say that you have a mental problem that causes you to be upset so often. To be unsocial. To break down crying or have no desire to do anything. The word that describes the state you go into when you comtemplate suicide, and terrible, horrible things that you can't believe would ever cross your mind.
But when you're in that state, you don't care.
You don't hate anyone but yourself.
The state where you pity yourself at times, and then hate yourself all the more for caring.
I feel the familiar feeling wash over me again as I shift back on the floor.
I'll be in this position for awhile.
For hours, most likely.
Staring at the ceiling. Drowning myself in my own tears. Hating myself.
Thinking of things that Liz Parker shouldn't think about.
But I don't care.
I usually just don't give a damn about anything when I go into this state.
When I become depressed, I basically turn into stone.
I breathe. (Although I mostly wish I couldn't)
Oh yes, I cry. Silently. No one needs to hear me. No one needs to know.
The last thing I need is for my parents to send me to some shrink that can dish out names and pills for my problems.
I know I have problems. I know that something is wrong in my head, and this wrongness causes my emotions to come and go as they please.
Cause me to go from being esctatic to feeling lower than sh*t in less than a minute.
Cause me to go into this vegged out state, where I just don't care.
I constantly see ads for Prozac on TV, and then those commercials with the little visual demonstration of why I have this 'depression' stage. I see commercials, ads, and pamplets.. people advising me to "get help."
Why am I telling you this? Because the ads, the medicine, the people.. they all make it real. They MAKE this state I'm in real.
They talk about things they have never expierenced first hand. They say all I need is help.
I'll be damned if I ever admit it. Call it pride, call it denial, but I refuse to throw myself at some stranger and ask for help.
I don't need it.
Even if I did tell someone about my problem - that means I would have to face it. I would have to visit a shrink daily or weekly, confide in them as they scribble notes about me and take my every word of mine as a success in their part. It's completely pointless.
I'd also have to let my parent shove up money every week for this person to continue to not help me.
Maybe they'd prescribe me some pills. Yay. I could make my ass bigger for money, but hey, it'll "help" me!
Pills.. shrinks.. money.. depression..
It's all just a chaos that I don't need to get into. That I won't get into.
I've been perfectly fine with letting the stages just pass me by all of these years.
Why stop now? Why let my parents become aware that their daughter is depressed? That for years, she's been hiding all of it with a mask. A carefully, intricate mask. Ever line a lie, every color fake, every smile covering up the tears and pain that flow silently behind it. A woven mass of lies - deceit.
It doesn't matter. None of it does.
I could be happier, but I'd rather stay the way I am now.
My backpack slung over my shoulder and my books in hand, I stroll through the partially crowded hallway.
Lifting my free hand unconciously, I push hair back from behind my eyes.
Today was well.. not the greatest.
Hell, what am I saying. Today sucked, royally. And it's only getting worse.
Despite my past dizzy spells and passing out, I still had to skip breakfast to get to school on time.
I failed two tests already, and had to make a trip to the bathroom halfway through PE because I was so damned hungry, and I started having hot flashes again.
Geez, what the hell is wrong with me? I don't stuff my face one morning of the week, and it completely zaps my body.
But anyway, I don't have to worry about it anymore. I ate enough at lunch to make up for breakfast. Heh.
I still can't believe I completely broke down because Mom thought I was lying the other night. I mean, who goes into depression over something so damned petty? Well, me. Obviously.
I suppose it was just a trigger to start up the inevitable again. The bouts of depression that always come, just when I think that maybe some god up there in the heavens decided to cure me. I mean, someone up there has to have sympathy for the young and misguided, right?
Anyway - besides the flunked tests and the hot flashes, Maria is killing me. Alex is out sick today, which really sucks ass. I could use a friend right now.
- - - -
I shoved on my tennis shoes before sweeping up my dark hair into a messy bun.
"I went on a date last night with Max." I said happily, reporting to Maria as she had requested the day prior.
"Oh really?" Maria said dryly.
"Yeah." I rushed on, as if I hadn't heard the 'don't give a damn' tone in her voice.
"It was great. We went to some french resturaunt, and basically made complete jerks of ourselves since niether of us are fluent with French. That's not even counting Max knocking now some waiter with a tray full of drinks. The place cost a fortune. But the food - wow! You've gotta try it sometime, Ria. Maybe me, Max, you, and Mi -"
"Liz, I really don't want to hear about your damedd date right now. I've got enough shit going on in my life." Maria snapped, her blue eyes shooting darts of fire at me.
"I'm sorry Maria.. you just said - " I tried to explain.
"NO! Just shut the hell up Liz! I don't wanna see you right now, alright? There's enough stuff going on with me and Michael as it is.." She cut me off.
"Why the hell are you snapping at ME? I didn't do anything to get you in your foul mood." I spat.
Maria raised her hands in anger and took a step away from me.
"God Liz, do you really have to be such a bitch!? What the hell is wrong with you? I said back off!" She screamed, causing a few heads to turn in the locker room of girls.
- - - -
Suddenly a strong arm grabs me and jerks me into a nearby room.
"What the --" I spit out, ready to put this guy back in line.
Suddenly, warm and familiar lips cover mine.
What was I about to do again?
Hands comb my hair by from my face. This guy must be an alien, or something. With the magical power to turn my knees to jelly, my brain to mush, and allow my heart to grow wings and soar.
Wait - since when do I come up with sappy, half-decent romantic thoughts? Damn, today is wierd.
The head pulls back a little to look in my eyes.
"Hey." Max murmurs softly.
He leans in for another kiss.
"Back at cha." I say against his lips, not able to keep this stupid grin off my face.
We've been together for several weeks now, and only find out more about each other every day.
There's only one thing.. one thing I don't understand but haven't had the guts to bring something up about it yet.
Max's tongue dips into my mouth again, and I wrap my arms around his strong shoulders and neck.
Another one of those crazy, strange images flash into my mind.
*Max, with a young blonde beside him.. traces strange symbols into the sand on a beach*
*Max with a young boy with spiky hair and that same blonde, holding hands and walking along hot grains of sand in the blazing New Mexico sun*
Feelings and emotions flood through me..
Knowledge. Concern. Care. Confusion.. a feeling of out of placeness.
I pull back from Max, breaking off the kiss.
He looks at me and smiles. "What?"
I swallow and break his gaze. "Liz? What's wrong?"
I want to be quiet, but I would only end up with more questions. More doubts.. I have to know.
"Max.." I start off softly.
He rubs my arm encouragingly and stares at me, patiently. So patiently. He always want to hear what I have to say.. always.
I lift my eyes to meet his gaze again. "What did I just see?" I say awkwardly.
His gaze falters and a flicker of disbelief passes through his eyes.
Damn. Bad choice of words.. could this day get any better?
"Wait." I say.. I close my eyes and bite my lip before continuing.
"I um, just got some kind of image from you. With feelings that went along with it. I felt that it was from you, and just.." I opened my eyes and met his confused and awestruck ones.
Damnit. Not good.
He takes a step back.
"No! Don't go.. I know it sounds insane. It.. it is insane, really. But, it was of you and a girl with blonde hair, drawing in the sand or something, and then --"
"I have to go." Max blurts out and cuts off my sentence.
"Liz, I can't do this anymore. You and me. I just realized why I didn't want to start something in the first place.." He trailed off.
"What the hell are you talking about?" I spit out in disbelief at his words.
He stares back at me, his face cold and emotionless. I can always tell what he's thinking through his eyes..
But not now.
He clenched his jaw and met my eyes.
"I can't be with you, because it would be a lie. There's things about me you can't know - that I'm not ready for anyone to know. But you, you made me forget. I can't afford that Liz, and niether can you. Not now." His voice came out monotone as he raked a frustrated hand through his hair.
That's all I feel. A big, fat, black void.
Or white void? Which color should it be?
Black. Black because black means pain, which is what I'll eventually have to let myself feel later on.
My back hits the wall to the eraser room.
He stares at me expectingly. But I say nothing.. my brain can't perform the simple task of speaking right now.
"Bye Liz." He whispers before turning the knob and leaving me.
I slide down the wall as the bell's piercing rings echo throughout the halls.
"Don't sweat it Max. You're not the only one to give up on me right now." I whisper into darkness.
Tears prick at my eyes, but I don't let them fall.
I can't. I won't.
It doesn't hurt enough right now. You see, when you feel pain alot, you learn how it works best for you.
Why should I shed tears now when I'll only shed them later? I let it build up and explode.
It can be pretty messy, but I pick it up afterwards. I'm the only one who can.
And I'm the only one who will.
- - - -
Step. Step. Step. Step.
Look Liz, it's the door to your aparment. Yay. Your parents. More people who don't give a sh*t about you right now.
More steps.. then comes the difficult task of turning that damn doorknob.
And you're in.
I take a break from my self pep talks (minus the pep, of course) to muster up some energy.
I drop my bag on the floor, toss my sweater onto the nearest chair, and then proceed to kick my bag under said chair.
I walk into the kitchen where my parents are, and bits of their conversation reach my ear.
"Where the hell is she . . . been over 20 minutes . . . be home by now . . out having sex . . . that boy, Max."
Normally, I would roll my eyes, run into the kitchen and deny everything.. But not now.
I take a few steps closer.
"Can't believe our daughter is such a damned whore."
I bite my lip. No use staying here.
Angry tears sting my eyes. A whore. Does anyone on this entire damned planet understand me anymore?
I pivot on my heel and speedwalk outside, too angry to make out the voices that took a knife and drove it through my heart without knowing.
- - - -
Tears are pointless. Tears won't solve anything. No use crying, none at all.
I tip my head back as I walk to keep the tears in, not even knowing where I'm going.
Life is like one of those machines with the red lines that go up and down at hospitals.
One minute your on top, the next you fall. The next you're higher than you could ever feel, and then you hit lower than before.
It's freaking sick. Sick.
Sure sure, even too much sunshine burns. But all I wanted was my moment to sit out and relax. Maybe even work up a decent tan.
But noo. The sun decided to bail on me. Just like everyone else.
I didn't get more than a few damned rays.
Screw the sun. Screw everyone.
Max, Maria, my parents, tests, school.. my own body is scaring me these days.
I stare at me feet for a while, and keep walking.
Sidewalks lead to roads, roads lead to grass, and then grass somehow turns into concrete. Not just any concrete, though.
I lift my eyes to look at the house I stand before.
Alex's concrete. Alex.. the one person who hasn't ditched. Yet.
I walk to the door and punch the bell.
Come on Alex, I need you. Please be here.. please.
After what feels like an eternity, a heckuva tall, grown man answers.
"Um, hi Mr. Whitman.. I'm here to talk to Alex. Is he around?"
"No, Alex is out of town. A friend of his up north attempted suicide.. and he's in the hospital. His is in shambles, and called Alex. They're really close.." Mr. Whitman trailed off.
I blinked. Great. Freaking great.
"Wow. That's.. really horrible. I hope he's alright, and Alex too. Listen, could you just ask him to call me or stop by when he gets back?"
"Sure.. Liz, is it?"
"Yeah." I give a tiny smile and nod.
"Ok then. I'll be sure to tell him."
"Mmkay, thanks Mr. Whitman."
After he shut the door, my feet led me somewhere else. A place I've only been to once, right behind the school.
My feet led me right to the feet of a blonde girl. The one person who hasn't given up, or who at least hasn't left.
Everything is kind of a blur from there. I don't remember what I said.. what she said.
Maybe we didn't say anything at all.
Because Tess knew exactly what I wanted. What I needed, even before I did.
She gave me heaven on earth for a few minutes, before I even knew it.
Soon, I was standing by the water tower. Tess handed me a joint, while the few people around us (their names and faces leave me) giggled about how it was my "first time."
I have no idea how they knew. Maybe they researched me. Maybe I said something about it. It's hard to see past the fog of memories -- especially since I can't just take a clean sleeve and clear everything.
I started at the joint in my hand. To do it, or not to do it. That is the question.
Fortunately, sometimes questions are easy as hell.
At the time, that question fell into that category.
She passed me a lighter, and I flicked down the button, staring at the orange flame that was emitted before drawing it to the end of the small, skinny thing.
I brought it to my lips, and got a free trip to my own private heaven amidst my own world of hell.
I went up high, and for the first time since I got into Roswell, I felt like I belonged. This was where I needed to be.
With Tess, drugs, and these faceless and nameless people.
My world came together for me.
If only I had known that the second the joint touched my palm, I had officially shattered my wall of innocence.
If only I had known that I had started the inferno that would send my world up in flames when I flicked the lighter.
If only I had known that I would travel to the farthest pits of my own hell with each puff.
If only.. if only.
- - - - - -
That's all for tonight. Feedback on both parts would really great! Thanks guys!
[ edited 3 time(s), last at 17-Dec-2001 1:06:51 AM ]
|posted on 17-Dec-2001 12:59:49 AM by Flycat64|
|Araxie HRH, Hey! Thanks for the feedback. I suppose I should really give you the warning that this fic is going to plunge even further into the depths of darkness. I know it started out kinda fluffy and dreamy, and made a sudden abrupt change to dark, and I apologize.. but it's a bit like real life, isn't it? ;) Anyway, this fic is going to deal with some serious and mature themes, some of which you've already seen parts of - such as depression, drugs and etc. It'll be a bumpy road, but I promise that everything will smooth out in the end. |
AvengingAngel, Yup, you're right.. I should have put parts 15 & 16. I edited.. thanks!
Thanks a ton for the feedback, guys.
|posted on 7-Jan-2002 10:55:00 PM by Flycat64|
|For disclaimer, see previous parts. Thanks for the feedback guys! Here's the new part..|
SciFiNut, By changing the title, what exactly do you mean? The number of parts I've currently got up?
"Damn, Josh is fine.. God, I just want to grab him and --"
"Shut up Tess. Not in the mood for your celebrity sex fantasies right now."
"What!? He's hott."
"I'm actually more of a Brad Pitt or Ben Affleck kinda girl."
I turned my head to stare at Tess, her eyes transfixed on Josh's image moving across the screen
I knew renting 'Pearl Harbor' was a mistake.
"Don't get too attached. Homeboy dies towards the end."
"Uh huh." She grunts.
I boo loudly and throw popcorn at the screen.
Tess swivels her head around and giggles, her blue eyes amused.
"Hoe! Don't hate on him just because he's my obsessed stalker."
I throw my head back a little.
"Really? Kinda strange since I've got the boy wrapped around my finger. My secret sex slave, he is."
"You wanna take this outside?."
"Why? I'll go right here."
Tess stands and dusts herself off before sticking her chin out a little. I repeat suit.
"Bring it on."
"What then bitch?" She giggles out and awkardly starts shoving at me.
I push her back, and we start fake clawing at each other, laughing our asses off the entire time.
"LIZ!! TESS!! Quiet down! I thought you guys were watching a movie?" A male voice screams from downstairs.
"Yeah, it's a comedy!" I scream back.
Tess rolls her eyes.
It's been a few weeks since I first took the plunge into the great ocean of possibilities that is drugs. Tess and I have grown considerably closer since then.
I daresay you could call us friends now. Good friends.
Max has been.. distant, to say the least. I'm not sure if he knows about what I'm doing behind everyone's back now.
Like he would even care if he did.
I thought it would only be once, but after the first time, I just couldn't stop. It felt too good to stop.
So I've kept doing it. Every day. I've been avoiding Alex and Maria, and my parents.. well, I'm not sure what I am to them.
Drugs are my release.
"So, truth or dare Tess?" I whisper.
"Last I checked, that wasn't one of the options." I joked back.
Tess groaned before collapsing onto my bed. I lifted my remote and punched the volume to the movie down a little so we could talk.
"So, truth or dare?" I asked again, sitting on the bed beside her.
"Truth. A dare will probably involve something like streaking the public, and I don't think anyone wishes to lose their eyesight today."
I laughed and smirked as I sifted through possible choices.
How far has she gone with Kyle? Nahh. If Tess could be with one person besides Kyle, it would be.. eh, even worse.
Finally I just come out with old faithful.
"So, are you a virgin or not." I said half serious half kidding.
She turned her head and blinked. "Are you for real?"
I nodded quickly. "Yeah, I am."
She bit her lip before nodding tentatively.
"You are..?" I asked. So hadn't pictured that.
"Yeah." She whispered meekly. "Believe it or not, I do have standards."
"But you do..."
"Yeah. I do. That doesn't mean I have to be a whore and give myself to everyone, although I have had alot of close calls." She said irritably.
"Alright." Tess said, and sat up.
"Your turn. Truth or dare?" Tess asked, biting her lip a little.
"Eh, truth." I responded reluctantly.
She paused and thought for a few seconds before opening her mouth again.
"What's your favorite color?" She asked in all seriousness.
I busted out laughing then, and eventually Tess joined in.
We both laughed for a good few minutes before flopping back onto the bed.
I giggled a little. "Blue." This caused more laughs to erupt from Tess. "I like green." She responded with a touch of innocence to her voice.
I smirked and turned my head.
"Why me?" I blurted.
Tess turned her head too. "Come again?"
I averted my gaze for a second, before bringing it back to meet her's.
"Why have you been.. I don't know. Set out for me since I arrived here? Determined?" I bit out awkardly.
Tess turned her head upwards then, and stared at the blades of my ceiling fan - spinning.
Around and around.. over and over..
I waited. And waited. "Well?" I finally asked meekly.
"You're.." She started.
"What?" I whispered.
"Different. You're different." She said simply.
I nodded, not really understanding.
Tess sat up and stared at the screen.
She froze in shock for a few seconds.
"Ugh, what now?" I groan out.
"Where the hell is that remote!?" She screeches, her sharp blue eyes scanning every inch of my bedroom for the desired object.
She finds it on the floor before rushing to punch up the volume.
"No! No no no! My baby!!" She shrieks before collapsing to her knees before the screen.
I sit up to see what her malfunction is.
Aha. Danny, or whatever, is dying.
I smirk. "Told you."
"Shut up. Geez, such a beautiful body.. face. Damn Hollywood."
"Yay Ben." I say, and Tess throws a glare at me over her shoulder.
"I can't take anymore of this." Tess moans, and she fumbles with the settings, trying to cut it off.
"Sweetie, it's ok that you're electronically illiterate. Really. Denial is the first step, I see, but don't attempt -- " I teased, grabbing the remote from her.
"-- to do the impossible." I finish, before punching some buttons and successfully shutting off the movie and DVD player.
Tess rolls her eyes before rising to her feet and dusting off her pants.
There's an awkard pause.
There always is, isn't there?
I mean, hey.. it happens in the movies, right? Why not my life?
"So.." Tess starts.
"Soo, you wanna blow this? Go out for uh.. y'know." She requests awkarding, waving her hands around.
I chew my lip. "Yeah. Yeah, let's go."
I've been aching for a reason to get out of here all day, actually.
But I don't tell her this.
The thought of just sitting in a comfortable chair with Tess and a group of other people -- and just taking line after line, ciggarette after ciggarette, drink after drink.. God, it sounds like heaven.
"We should go hit this racing strip."
I push aside the popcorn bowl, and start throwing the pillows from the floor into a disorganized pile on my unkempt bed.
"A racing strip." She repeats. "It's like, uh.. a deserted road, where people come out to show off and race their cars for bets at times, but it's usually just a free show. Really wild place. It'll be fun." She clarifies with a smile.
"Isn't that just slightly illegal?" I ask, tilting my head with a smirk.
"And everything else we do isn't? Look, so there is cop busts every now and again, but all we gotta do is run. No biggie. It'll be great. C'mon!" She says, shoving her feet into her Nike's.
She's out of my door before I could even consider the option of refusing.
Not that I would.
- - - -
Soft, gentle yet harsh smelling smoke pours out from my parted lips in a quick exhilation of air, like an uprising waterfall.
Note to self: Get high before English class every day, and I'll ace all of my papers.
"Oh shit, check out that car man.. it's going fast as hell." Tess snorts out and giggles.
I start laughing my ass off.
God, when did Tess become so freaking funny?
It's like that for a while. Tess and I completely zonked out, dizzily watching as cars speed by.
I blink.. my vision's a little fuzzy. It's an orange car, revving it's engine at the line.. next to a blue one.
They take off and fly.. they're flying.
"Want some acid, baby?" A gruff, male voice asks.
I flip my head around. Damn hair. Always getting into my eyes.
I shove it out of my face and gather enough coordination to grin up at whoever the hell is talking to me.
"Hey, I'm all for it." I spit out, a trace of seduction underlining my words.
What the hell is acid? Is it good? As good as weed?
Homeboy grabs me and uses his grimy ass hands to forcibly open my mouth.
Oh, shit. Is this part of the deal?
He tips something down my throat. Liquid.
And then it's over. Just like that. He snorts and starts walking off somewhere.
What the hell? What's going on?
After a few minutes, I look around. Everything is so bright.. everything is so loud.
"Liz, you cool girl?" Comes a screaming female voice. She sounds as loud as a train, or something.
"Y-Yeah.. fine. Great. Fantasic." I blurt, my eyes darting around.
The headlights on the cars are blinding.. I wince and avert my gaze.
Tess. Tess has a really pretty jacket.
It's navy blue..
She shifts a little on her feet.. the navy blue is coming off in waves. Spinning, falling, moving.
I shake my head a little and lift a hand to my face to relax. What the hell is that acid stuff, anyway?
My hand brushes against my jacket.
God, that feels so wierd. So amazing..
I rub it across tentatively again.
It's as if all my nerve cells are on fire.. one touch send vibes flowing, caressing, fizzling through my hand.
I smile a little as I start rubbing it against my jacket some more.. it's kind of comforting in a way.
Tess's blonde hair is spinning.. the colors are spinning.
Sirens. Loud.. piercing.
I reach up to clamp hands over my ears, but through their barrier I hear Tess's loud whisper.
"Liz!! It's a cop bust.. let's get the hell out of here!!" She hisses, grabbing the sleeve of my jacket and yanking.
A few faceless people nearby suck one last puff from their joints before dropping them on the ground and taking off.
I lower my gaze to the ground where the forgotten joints lay. The hot, fiery end is blazing, the orange rays dancing off of it.
I smile again, and brush my hand across my jacket again.
I hear people running.. the sirens are louder now. There's... more of them. Lots more.
There's screaming, the blazing of engines.
I turn, and Tess isn't there. I grow nervous.
Looking around, the colors continue to spin. In waves, floods, and waterfalls they dance, they flow, they move.
I catch a glimpse of blonde hair. Bet you know what the colors were doing.
I start running.
My feet pounding are extremely loud, as are the other sounds. I cup my ears again and keep running.
I can't see where I'm going. I have to shut my eyes to block out the color.
I trip, and my body hits the ground.
My lips touch cool dirt. It feels like ice.. no, thousand of ice stabbing into my face.
It feels good, somehow. I lift my face and gaze around, unable to focus correctly.
I try to struggle to my feet, but I can't..
I push up on the heel of my hands into a crawling position and take deep breathes.
I know I need everything to stop being loud and moving, but at the same time, I don't want it to.
It's strange, but it's interesting.. it's fun.
It feels amazing.
I exhale and manage to force myself to my feet, but I can hear footsteps nearing.
Where'd Tess go?
The thought is a whisper among my mind.
I can see a man coming to me. He's.. he's dressed in blue.
The blue flows off, and the shiny badge he has on reflects and causes me to wince and the brightness.
His voice seems to ecoe as he speaks.. it's really loud.
"You're gonna have to come with me, maam." He booms.
I meet his brown eyes and giggle as I brush my hand across my jacket.
The blackness of his hat dances off..
* * *
If anyone got confused -- acid basically is a drug that hightens your senses. Causes you to hallucinate, in a way. Hope that helps! Please, feedback is appreciated & needed as always.