posted on 15-Sep-2001 6:58:50 AM by Kazza
Something to Believe in – BY KAZZA
Part 11

Disclaimer: In the alternate universe that all Roswell Fanfic writers visit, I own Roswell. Sadly, in the real world, I own nothing, so please don’t sue me! I promise to return the characters good as new. I do, however, own the idea to this story.

Summary: Alternate Universe. Not set in Roswell and there are no aliens in sight! Just your regular love story!

Category: A bit of everyone

Rating: PG-13 (For now!!)

Dedication: This story is dedicated to Jo, my amazing Roswell e-buddy, whom I’ve had the privileged pleasure to meet. A wonderful person who truly has a pure heart of gold.

Authors Notes: This is my own story, generated from my own imagination. I apologise if any of my ‘American’ terms are incorrect, please forgive me since I don’t live there!

For info, all previously posted parts of this story can be found on my website,


“What happens now Max?” Liz asked when she finally lifted her head back up to face him.
“I think that’s down to you Liz. I sense you’ve got a few demons hidden away that could do with eliminating, and maybe some restoration of your faith? What do you say, do I get the job of slayer?” He asked softly, praying she’d say yes.

His big doe eyes shone back at her and Liz felt her breath quicken instantly. Inside, she wasn’t sure if it was fear or passion that had affected her breathing. Passion for the feelings she felt for Max ……… or fear due to the possibility of opening up once more and letting someone back into her life ………. and the potential of getting hurt once more.

As their eyes locked, Liz pause while she considered her options; allow Max to become her knight in shining armour, or to become her own keeper locked up in her past once again.


“I think ………. I think that maybe you could get the job.” Liz started, feeling somewhat overwhelmed by all the emotions. “But, I think I need to take things slowly.” She admitted.

“That’s no problem, we can take it at whatever pace you like.” He replied, smiling as he planted a kiss on her forehead.

Inside Max felt like he was going to burst though. She’d said yes! He’d finally managed to penetrate the stonewall surrounding her body and storm her heart. Kissing her was like nothing he’d ever experienced before, and inside his heart he was sure what they had would only keep growing bigger and bigger. Love can conquer all after all.

Stepping out onto the busy LA sidewalk after their meal, Max and Liz started the short walk back to his car. Grasping hands softly, it was a strange walk, almost as if neither wanted to say a word in case it would break the spell that had descended upon them.

Turning the corner, they headed along a quieter sidewalk, where there were no others around.

The footsteps echoing around the quiet street suddenly became louder, and Max was aware of another person very close to them.
“Oi you!” A voice yelled gruffly behind them.

Instinctively, as he spun round, Max stepped in so Liz was safely behind him. He wasn’t sure what he was going to be faced with, but something told Max it wasn’t going to be good. He needed to know Liz was safely out of harms way before doing anything else.

“You! Give me your money!” The baseball capped youth snarled, yielding a large double-edged knife in Max’s direction.

“Why?” Max questioned, trying to talk his way out of the situation. He knew the streets of LA very well, and although he’d never been attacked before, he still felt it was his territory. He was a strong guy; just handing over his money because someone was threatening him wasn’t Max’s style.

“Max!” Liz screamed from just over his shoulder. “J .. Just ….. give it to ….. him.” She stammered, her body shaking with fear.
“Do as the lady says and no one will get hurt!” The youth reiterated, waving the knife so it caught and glistened silver in the moonlight.

Assessing the situation, Max weighed up his odds. He only had a little over fifty dollars in his wallet, and that certainly wasn’t enough to get hurt over. But then again giving in to a thug wasn’t his style either. Although he was aggrieved to give in to such bulling, Max knew he had little choice.

Delving into his pockets, Max pulled out his wallet. Grabbing the small wad of notes, he thrusted it in the direction of the youth. Snatching the money, the youth glared at them once more with piercing eyes before disappearing rapidly into the darkened night.

“Great, well that was a wonderful end to this evening!” Max said sarcastically, turning to face Liz. Things had been going well, almost perfect, and then such a violent act had turned the evening sour in one foul move.

What greeted him though, as he faced Liz, genuinely shook Max to his very core. Never before had he felt so genuinely scared for someone.

Liz was slumped on the ground, her back leaning up against the side of a nearby building. Her knees scooped up to her chest and she was hugging them tightly to her body. Rocking backwards and forwards in an attempt to comfort herself, Liz was shaking uncontrollably as tears spilled down her cheeks. Her face was extremely pale, that was plainly obvious even in the dark night sky. Her breathing very shallow, sharp intakes, but very little getting through to fill her aching lungs.

“Liz?” Max questioned, crouching down to her level and looking at the normally self-assured woman.

Continuing her rocking, she tried to comfort herself still. Beads of perspiration slipped down her face, and mixed with the tears falling rapidly on to her damp cheeks. Her mind was a whirl; she couldn’t think rationally, all she could muster clearly were the terrible images of the attack.

Fear ……. screaming …… blood, all of it spun around in her head. Images of holding his lifeless body slammed through her mind like a never-ending black and white movie.

The food she’d only just consumed a little while earlier stirred forcefully around in her stomach, making her feel even worse. Her throat felt dry, a burning acidy taste coated her tongue as she tried to swallow the churning of her stomach away.

Inside a few seconds that feeling of sickness grew increasingly worse, and she tried to fight the loosing battle. Relinquishing her tight grip on her knees, Liz turned her head and allowed wave after wave of sickness to hit her before she threw up on the sidewalk.

“Liz, it’s ok, it’s over.” Max said, pulling her into his arms once she had finished retching. Smoothing her hair away from her face, Max held her close to him. It was obvious the attack had affected her badly. Resting her head gently on his shoulder, Max rubbed his hand between her shoulder blades in an attempt to soothe the fears raging her delicate body.

An involuntary shiver from Liz, reminded Max it was time to get them into a warmer and somewhat safer environment. Although it was LA, the weather wasn’t particularly warm that night and a dampness in the air signalled imminent rain.

“Can you walk?” He asked softly, realising Liz hadn’t said anything since the attack. His words still brought forward no response from the young lady though, Liz still hugging her knees tightly to her body.

So Max gently stood up, bringing Liz slowly to her feet with him. Slipping his arm around her waist, he slowly walked the two of them the few remaining feet to his car.

Helping Liz into the passenger seat and putting her belt on, Max headed round to the other side and got in. Starting the car up, Max switched on the headlights and pushed the gear lever into drive.

The short drive was very quiet; neither said a word, only the quiet drumming of the radio rang out. Max glanced at Liz often, but there was no change in her facial features.

It was almost as if she was no longer even on the planet with him. Fear seemed to be consuming every centimetre of her body, and nothing Max did seemed to change that.

Although he hadn’t said anything, Max knew where he was driving to; he was taking Liz back to his apartment. It was clear to him that she was in no state to be left alone that night. The attack had shaken her up no end, and he got the feeling there was some other underlying reason for her reaction too.

Pulling into the driveway, Max placed the car into park, before turning to face Liz again.
“Liz, I’ve brought you back to my house, is that ok?” He asked softly.

This time, his words did get a reaction, albeit a small one. Turning her face, Liz looked at Max and gently nodded her head once.

The look in her eyes haunted Max, shaking him to his very core. There was so much sadness, so much terror and genuine anxiety. He’d never seen such a look before, and certainly never in such a young woman. Her body was still shaking uncontrollably, and tears were still streaming down her face at an alarming rate, he was genuinely scared for her.

Climbing out of the car, Max scooted round to help Liz out also. Her body was heavy as he helped her to the front door; it was as if she had lost the will to keep her body vertical. After opening the door, he slipped one hand on her lower back and the other scooped up her legs. She barely looked like she could stand, let a lone walk, carrying her was the least he could do.

Carrying Liz’s limp body over to the sofa and gently placing her down, Max disappeared for a few moments, returning with the burgundy throw blanket that normally decorated his king sized bed.

Gently prising her fingers away from the straps of her rucksack, Max quickly wrapped the warm blanket around her ice cold shaking body. She looked completely numb as he stared at Liz, her eyes unfocussed and blurred, as if she wasn’t really with him in the room at that moment.

“Liz, it’s ok now. Nobody’s going to hurt you I promise.” He said softly, pulling her into his arms and resting her heavy head against his chest. Her sobs continued to pour out and fill his ears, cutting right through his heart.

He didn’t know what the problem was, or why the attack had shaken her up so badly. He understood it hadn’t been a pleasant experience to go through, but no one had got hurt, and the youth had only escaped with a few dollars, surely it shouldn’t have scared her as much as it obviously had. All Max knew was it hurt him terribly to see her in so much pain.

“He’s dead.” Liz suddenly blurted out, choking on tears as they poured out quicker.

“Huh?” Max queried. “No one’s dead Liz.” He added, completely unsure what she was talking about.
“Yes he is!” She cried, lifting her head and wrenching her body away from his comforting grasp with much strength. “I saw it! I saw his blood, I felt his pain, I experienced his last breath …….. his cold, lifeless body ……. dying in my arms …….. helpless ……… scared ………..” She wailed, panic flashing through her bright amber eyes once more and scaring Max again in the process.

“Liz? Who’s dead?” He pleaded, looking into her eyes at the fear and despair routed deeply inside her soul.

He was totally confused. The mugging had affected Liz much more than was normal. Coupled with that was the strange things Liz kept blurting out to him. Her words seemed so real, so honest and full of truthful emotion, it almost scared him. It was as if she had seen it before, experienced the dreadful feeling of holding someone dying in her arms.

“Liz?” He added again, needing to know, wanting to share her pain and start the healing process that she so desperately needed.
“K……….. Kyle.” She tumbled out, before the strength she had found suddenly drained away, allowing her body to fall back into Max’s awaiting arms.

Her pain wracked sobs filled the quiet air, making Max feel helpless once more. He could do nothing except comfort her. He had no idea who Kyle was, how he was related to Liz, how important he was, or how he had died, but he knew Liz was in no fit state to talk at that moment.

It took a long time, perhaps over an hour, before Liz was able to compose herself and speak once again. Max was patient, waiting till time was right. Instead he held her tightly in his arms, keeping her head close to his chest. His fingers rhythmically slipped through her hair, his other hand rubbing her back gently. His actions were all to help soothe her, chase away some of the demons rushing through her body, and replace them with strength.

Finally, feeding off the power radiating from him, Liz regained semi control of her raging emotions. Slowly, she lifted her head and pulled away from him slightly.

“Are you ok?” He asked, keeping a firm hold of her hands that still trembled slightly.
“Yeah.” She replied softly, her voice still full of choked emotion.
“Are you ready to talk about it?” He queried tentatively, not wanting to push her into anything she wasn’t ready for. He desperately wanted to know what had got Liz into such a state, but didn’t want to descend her back into self-destruct mode again.

“I think so.” She replied, hesitating slightly.
“Let me get us some coffee first, you look like you could use some.” He smiled warmly, before heading into the kitchen.

Pulling the blanket further up over her arms, Liz tried to control of her involuntary shaking. Her heart was still racing, and her stomach was only just beginning to settle once more. The end of the evening had been beyond her wildest nightmares, and the thought of reliving it when telling Max filled her with dread. Yet in her heart she knew he needed an explanation for her meltdown.

“Here we go.” He said, returning to the living room a few minutes later with two tall steaming mugs of coffee.”
“Thanks.” She replied, her voice sounding stronger as she took a sip of the hot liquid.” Mmm …… that tastes funny.” She added, licking the bitter but warm taste from her lips.
“Oh, there’s just a splash of brandy in there too …… I though it might help you to relax a bit more.” He said, seeing a little colour starting to return to her gauntly pale face.

“I’m sorry ……. about ………” She started, before his finger jumped to rest on her lips and halt her words.
“No sorry Liz ….. just let me help you.” He said softly, hoping she would trust him enough to share her secret.

“Ok ……… my first boyfriend …… well my only real boyfriend …… was killed in ……. an attack a few years ago.” She told him, biting her bottom lip to contain the tears that threatened to fall as she thought about Kyle.
“Oh Liz I’m so sorry.” He said completely sincerely. “You don’t have to say anything more.” He added, feeling her pain and certainly not wanting her to relive it.
“He was only 20 years old, he was such a wonderful person who had so much to live for. He didn’t deserve to have his life cut so short, he never hurt anyone.” She said, starting to get angry at Kyle’s lost.

“Liz ….. you don’t have to ………” Max started, not wanting to upset her once more now that she was something resembling calm.
“We’d gone out for a beautiful dinner, it was our third year of dating anniversary. The restaurant was so expensive, I remember complaining at Kyle that I wasn’t worthy of such an extravagance, but he just brushed it aside.” She said, a faraway look descending across her face as if she’d been catapulted back to that night a few years previously.

Sitting quietly, he stared at the quiet tears that gently rolled down her face, sensing her pain as she recounted the terrible events. Although he was afraid she might break down once more, Max could tell she needed to tell her story. Something told him it was a terrible event she’d carried around alone for way too long.

“I remember wondering what was wrong with Kyle, he seemed to jumpy and agitated throughout the meal, and drunk way more than normal, it was like he was gearing himself up for something big. He was, I found out just before desert. When he sunk to his knees I remember my heart jumping, and when he asked me to marry him, I could scarcely breath. I was so happy, my life was so perfect. Kyle was everything I wanted in a husband and more; I didn’t hesitate in saying yes.” She said, pausing to take a large sip of the hot mixture, as if to gain more strength for the tale ahead.

“It was all so perfect, I didn’t want the night to end.” She said, tears forming heavily in her eyes as she thought back. On instinct, Max put down his coffee cup and took her hands in his. Stroking the top of one of them, he tried to remind her that she was with him, nothing was going to happen.

“I …….. I didn’t want to go home, back to studying, I didn’t want to break the magic spell surrounding us at that moment. So …….. I persuaded Kyle to go for a walk along the beach. It was beautiful, the moon shone so brightly, the crashing sea so black with emotion, the sand and salt smell filled the air.” She recounted, pausing as if she could imagine being there so easily.

“We stopped, pausing for a lover’s embrace. I can’t remember how long we stopped for; I can only remember his snarling voice shouting out to us. His knife …….. his knife flickered in the moonlight, he yelled for us to hand over our money. I wanted to ….. I really did …… but Kyle said no. He said he wasn’t intimidated by the man, he said he wouldn’t give him anything, he wasn’t afraid.” She said, taking a deep breath and trying to force the tears back down to the pit of her stomach.

“It’s ok.” Max whispered, reaching up a hand and wiping away a few tears from her damp cheeks.

“Everything happened so quickly, he lunged towards us …… Kyle pushed me away, I stumbled and then he ran away into the night. For a moment I thought everything was ok again, that we were safe, but …… but then Kyle turned to face me.” She cried softly, squeezing her eyes shut to rid her mind of the powerful images in her memory.

“His hands were clutching his chest …….. as he pulled them away I could see they were stained …… with his blood.” She choked. “He started to fall, and I grabbed him before he hit the ground. He was too heavy though, I slid to the floor, and pulled him into my arms ………… his breathing was so shallow, his eyes looking up at me were filled with so much pain. The blood wouldn’t stop ….. I put my hands over it, they got covered, but it wouldn’t stop.” She recounted, her breathing visibly quickening.

“I cried to him to stay with me, not to leave me, but it was so painful. He whispered he loved me before taking in another small breath. I could hear the wheezing from his lungs, it sounded so awful. Then ………. then his body went limp and heavy. He was too heavy for me, and the blood … it still gushed out. I cried out for someone to help …….. but no one came. He …. He died right there with me.” She gasped, tears coursing down her face once more.

Wrapping his strong arms around her shoulders, Max pulled the distraught Liz into his body and held her tight once more. He now knew the route of her distress and despair, and the reason for her overreaction to the attack. He now understood why she’d been adamant for him to hand over the money, and why she’d crumbled so easily afterwards.

Her recount of the tragic events cut right to the very centre of the normally steal fast Max Evans. He felt so desperate for her, the pain she’d experience so visible in her young life. He suddenly realised how she’d lost her faith in love, and why she kept her distance from anyone who threatened her heart. She was afraid to love, he could see it so plainly now, and in some respects he could understand her actions. Her first love had been ripped to ruthless and coldly from her, who could blame Liz from closing up like she had.

“I’m so sorry Liz. You didn’t deserve to experience so much heartache like that.” Max said sincerely.
“But that’s just it, I did deserve it.” She shot back, wrenching from his grasp once more and startling Max in the process.
“I don’t understand.” He admitted.

“It was my idea to go for the walk.” She said simply.
“So?” He countered, not following her logic.
“Kyle wanted to go home, but didn’t because I asked him not to. I wanted to go to the beach, I didn’t want the night to end …… I was selfish ………I killed him.” She replied.
“Because you wanted to go for a walk you killed him?” He clarified stunned, knocked by the conviction in her words. She couldn’t really believe she’d killed her boyfriend could she?

“Yes, if we hadn’t he’d still be here with me now.” She replied.

“Liz …… how on earth can you think that? Your attacker killed Kyle, not you. He jumped you, he pushed the knife in, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Max countered.
“But if we hadn’t gone for the walk ………”
“No! No but ifs.” Max said firmly. “You can’t live like that Liz. You can’t build your life upon what ifs. What happened was a cruel twist of fate. You couldn’t have known what was going to happen, any more than Kyle did. If we all thought like that, none of us would ever leave our homes in the mornings. It wasn’t your fault, plain and simple.” He insisted.

“But …..” She started, but Max was in no mood to support the demons growing bigger each day inside her body.
“No! Time to let Kyle rest in peace. I never had the pleasure of meeting him, but I am certain he wouldn’t want to see you still grieving for him. Time to move on Liz, don’t throw your life away on a moment in time you had no control over.” He said firmly.

He felt so sad for Liz, but he couldn’t let her return to the pit of despair she carried around. He cared too much for her to watch Liz self-destruct once more. He had to be firm, but kind, in order to snap her out of the torture she was putting her mind through.

His words almost scared her. To Liz, she could scarcely remember a time before she carried around the weight of Kyle’s death on her shoulder. It had been her strength, guiding her through her degree and then through work, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to discard it. The pain was easy to hide behind, it masked her dwindling private life, her inability to commit or get close to anyone again.

Moving on meant finally trusting someone once more, and she was still too scared for that. She was too afraid of being left like she had been with Kyle, afraid of being hurt once more.

“You’re staying here tonight.” Max informed her.
“I’m ok now Max, I promise not to freak again.” She reassured him.
“I know, but you’re in no fit state to spend the night on your own. Besides, it’s nearly 3.00 am, and I think you need to get some sleep now.” He replied.

“………. Ok.” She finally replied, unable to fight, and suddenly feeling the wash of tiredness hit her hard. She truly felt emotionally and physically wiped out.
“You can take my room, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“Oh no Max, I couldn’t take your room, this is your house.” She started to protest.
“Nonsense. You’re sleeping in there and that’s final.” He insisted, and Liz knew it was a loosing battle.

A little while later, Liz was lying in the large bed, the silky covers pulled up to her chin. She couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. She’d practically gatecrashed Max’s house and more importantly his bedroom, while he was relegated to the sofa. Secretly though, she was glad she wasn’t alone that night, something told her she would find it even harder to find a comforting sleep after the events of that evening.

Lying only a few feet away was Max, curled up on the sofa with the burgundy throw draped over his lower body. Hands resting comfortably behind his head, he tried to recount the events of that evening. Everything had started to perfectly. Dinner had been an excellent success, building upon the grounds of the kiss they’d shared, and taking them up the next rung on the ladder towards so much more.

But, the end of the evening had been so much of a nightmare, not lease for Liz. Just thinking of her having to recount her prior experience tugged at his heart and made him feel so sad for her.

She been through so much pain and heartache, none of which she deserved. Max was sure, as he tried to drift into a deep sleep, that he was going to stay right there for her, leading her towards safe ground. Waiting, gently pushing Liz towards the goal of rebuilding her faith in the world, human race, and men in particular.

His heart made up his mind that night so easily; he would risk whatever it took to make Liz Parker his woman.

TBC ………………..?


Author: Kazza – 16th September 2001
Feed back is very welcome and appreciated
E-Mail: Kaznstu⊕
This story is archived on my website,



Edited by - Kazza on 09/17/2001 09:48:33

Edited by - Kazza on 09/17/2001 09:55:01
posted on 16-Sep-2001 9:52:56 AM by Kazza
Hi guys,

Wow, thank you so much for your truly awesome feedback! I really appreciate all the support of my story.


To answer your question, I'm English and live in London.

Take care