posted on 12-Feb-2002 2:35:15 PM by Kazza
Something to Believe in – BY KAZZA
Part 32

Disclaimer: In the alternate universe that all Roswell Fanfic writers visit, I own Roswell. Sadly, in the real world, I own nothing, so please don’t sue me! I promise to return the characters good as new. I do, however, own the idea to this story.

Summary: Alternate Universe. Not set in Roswell and there are no aliens in sight! Just your regular love story!

Category: A bit of everyone, but swaying towards Max and Liz.

Rating: NC – 17

Dedication: This story is dedicated to Jo, my amazing Roswell e-buddy, whom I’ve had the privileged pleasure to meet. A wonderful person who truly has a pure heart of gold.

Authors Notes: This is my own story, generated from my own imagination. I apologise if any of my ‘American’ terms are incorrect, please forgive me since I don’t live there!

Ok guys, I said I’d try to get this part out before I left, so here it is. I hope you like it, and I hope it was worth the wait!!!! Thank you all for the simply awesome feedback, you guys are the best!


A sparkling white diamond surrounded by tiny sapphires sparkled and glinted in the silver moonlight, making the ring look bigger, brighter and amazingly stunning.

Pulling her hands to her mouth, Liz tried to stifle a gasp of surprisement that escaped passed her lips. Her mouth hung open wide, her eyes bulging with amazement, her hands shaking somewhat as they cupped her mouth.

His eyes looked up at her with a longing hopefulness, praying and hoping she wouldn’t knock him back. It was clear getting down on one knee and proposing had taken a lot of courage for the normally suave Max Evans.

“I …….. I don’t ……. know what ……. to say.” She stumbled, clearly dumbstruck.
“Well yes is probably a good word to start with.” Max said slowly rising to his feet and looking directly at Liz to try and gauge what her reaction actually was.

Normally he could read her like an open book, but for some reason it was like looking at a blank canvas this time, he couldn’t determine one way or the other whether Liz would accept or not.

“Wow, I’m totally flattered that you want to marry me …… I can’t tell you how I feel right now, I’m shaking so much ………” She babbled uncontrollably.
“But …….?” He said soberly.
“………… I love you so much Max ……… but I can’t marry you though.” She responded blinking back tears in her eyes.

As if a cold bucket of water had been drenched over him, Max backed away slightly. He’d placed his heart on the line once more in front of the wonderful Liz Parker, and once more she’d trampled over it, crushing his feelings as she stomped.


“Why not Liz?” He questioned pointedly, his eyes blazing with a mix of anger and hurt.
”Because I can’t Max.” She said simply, averting her eyes from his. She didn’t want to see his pain; she knew she was hurting him once more.

“I’m sorry but that’s not good enough for me Liz. You care about me, I know that …… are you saying I’m good enough for a fling but not good enough to commit the rest of your life to?” He said clearly hurt by her rejection.

“No Max I’m not saying that at all.” She told him, sinking back down onto the soft sand and encouraging Max to do the same.
“Then explain why you just rebuffed me once more Liz. I thought we’d got over the whole you pushing me away thing. I thought we were making really great progress, what went wrong?”
”Nothing went wrong Max. I do care about you, I do love you …… it’s just ………. complicated.” She responded.

“It always is with you Liz.” He said ruefully. “Come on then, what is it? Why are you pushing me away this time?”
“I can’t marry you Max …… because I can’t give you the one thing I know you want, and the one thing only I can give you.” She said somewhat cryptically.

“I don’t follow Liz. Please, just talk to me, tell me what you mean rather than talking in riddles.” He pushed, not in the mood for games.
“Ok, you want it in black and white …………. I don’t know if I will ever be able to give you a child Max.” She said calmly, and bluntly as if it didn’t cut through her heart like a piercing poisoned arrow.
“I don’t know if I will ever be able to have children, it’s that simple.”

“Why not?” He said confused, running a hand through his hair to try and understand her words.
“Ok, I’ll pour the last secret I have from you out here and now shall I?” She queried feeling somewhat naked as she sat in front of him.

“Please Liz, make me understand what’s going on in your mind right now.” He pressed, taking hold of her hand to give her the extra little courage she clearly needed to spill her heart out to him once more.

“Kyle and I started dating at sixteen, he was my first boyfriend, my first kiss and my first taste of making love.” She started.
“That doesn’t bother me Liz ……....”
“I know.” She said simply. “We graduated high school together and then went off to UCLA as a couple.”
”What happened at UCLA?” He asked, guessing it was something that happened in her teens.

“Well, we had what I guess you’d call a scare.”
“I found I was pregnant.”
“Yeah. I was barely nineteen, a year into my course ….. a child was definitely not planned.” She told him.
“What happened?”
”Well, Kyle and I talked for a long time about it. We discussed all our options but only one was a really feasible option. In the end I got rid of the child. Nether of us were ready for a family, or even capable of looking after ourselves properly let alone a little person.” She retold, the pain on her face showing clearly.

“That must have been very hard for you Liz, I’m certain it wasn’t an easy decision for you and Kyle to come to. But that doesn’t mean you won’t ever have children. Having a termination doesn’t automatically take away your future right to a baby.” He told her.

“I know, but it’s a little more complicated than that. After the termination I suffered complications, and for months afterwards I suffered from excruciatingly painful periods. When I eventually went to the doctors they ran various tests and I was finally diagnosed with having endometriosis.” She said quietly.
“Endometriosis?” Max asked, clearly unfamiliar with the ‘illness’.

“Yeah, basically it means I have problems each month, pain and such. But the biggest is I am likely to have fertility problems.” She told him, looking down at the sand. “I love you so much Max ….. I can’t and won’t deny you the right to have your own family, the right to have a son to leave the legacy of your business to.” She added, rubbing sand through her fingers rather than look at his reaction to her news.

She didn’t want to look at him, she couldn’t, for she knew his deep brown eyes would be brimmed full of pity for her and she couldn’t take that. Pity and sympathy for her own body’s short giving was definitely something she could do without at that moment. She’d long since come to terms with possibly of never having children, she didn’t need Max soothing her and saying it would be ok, when it might not.

She hated herself at that moment. She was hurting him so much again, she could sense it, but she didn’t mean to. She’d vowed after the accident not to hurt him again, but this was out of her control. She knew if she didn’t do this now, she would have to when the subject of children came up, and then the blow would be even harder to bear. At least this way if he wanted to leave he could and they’d both be without ties of marriage or other commitments. This way it would be a clean break if he wanted to give up on her.

As the sand slipped through her fingers, she wondered how lonely her life would be as she let Max slip through her fingers once more. Maybe she was destined to never have heaven, never experience perfect, uncomplicated love.

“Liz ……” He started, slowly taking in her words and reasoning behind her knock back of his proposal.

It was clear to him now that it had nothing to do with not wanting to marry or spend the rest of her life with him. His heart ached for the extra pain she’d been carrying around, why hadn’t she told him? Why hadn’t she let him know and be able to help? The answer came just as quickly, children hadn’t come up, they hadn’t been together that long. Clearly the right moment hadn’t presented itself until he had proposed.

“Liz ……” He said again, this time moving his fingers under her chin and gently tilting it up so he could look at her face.

The look in her eyes nearly made his heart break though. They were brimmed full of tears threatening to escape down her cheeks, it was clear it had caused her great pain to spill her heart to him once more.

A stabbing pain ran deep inside him as he thought about what Liz was thinking at that moment. Her care and consideration to him, telling her potential of never having children, made him love her even more if that was ever possible. She could have lied, could have pretended she hadn’t of known when they never had the children he desired, but she hadn’t.

Instead she’d inflicted more pain on herself by telling him, by being honest and upfront. He was sure she was a complete open book to him now, no more hidden secrets, she’d told her final one.

“You don’t have to say anything Max ……” She started wanting to give him a get out clause if needed. But he halted her words by placing a delicate finger across her lips to stop her faltering, emotion filled voice. No matter what she said, he knew his mind was fully made up.

“Liz you mean more than the whole world to me. You are my love, my life, and my heart. I’d be lying if I said I never want children, especially with you, but I’d also be lying if I said that was my reason behind proposing to you.” He said to her, looking straight at Liz so she’d know he was telling the truth.

Gently catching a tear that had fallen from her cheek, he stared into her eyes, as if trying to see deep into her never-ending soul.

Taking her hand tightly in his, he carefully lifted it to his mouth before kissing the tip of each finger. After also kissing the palm of her hand, he slowly brought it to his chest and rested it gently over his heart.

“It is you I want to marry ……… not the children we may or may not have. It’s you I want in my life. It’s you I want to make the happiest woman alive.” He said, his words dripping with sincerity and pure love.
“Max ……” She started to protest again, more tears cascading down her cheeks as emotions took over.

“No Liz …….. Just for once accept you are happy and just enjoy it. I don’t care about tomorrow or next year or even next millennium, all I care about is here and now. And right now I want you to make me the happiest man alive.” He pushed.
“But what about children?”

“You don’t know for sure you can’t have children …… but if you can’t we can adopt, or have a surrogate child or something …….. but if all else fails we’ll still have each other Liz. Like I said, I’m proposing to you Liz Parker, not any premise of a family.”
“It’s so complicated.”
“It always is with you Liz. But this time it is only complicated if you let it be.” He said simply. “How about I make it easy for you. I love you Liz, you love me, the natural progression is to make a commitment, and that to me means getting married. Are you prepared to risk your independence and accept?”

Any loss of independence hadn’t even crossed Liz’s mind. To her getting married was about love and children, loosing any independence hadn’t come into the equation. But then again, marrying Max didn’t signify loosing freedom to Liz. Just the thought made her feel warm inside, the merest idea that Max could be hers forever made her heart jump.

“I’d risk pretty much everything for you Max Evans.” She whispered softly, gently putting her arms around his neck.
“What does that mean then?” He queried.
“Yes ……. I want to become your wife.” She added simply, tears spilling down her face once more.

Taking her hand in his, he gently eased the stunning ring from the velvet confinements, before slowly slipping it on her finger. It fitted like a glove, like it had been perfectly sculpted just for Liz.

“Thank you.” He breathed simply, before pulling her close and allowing his lips to crash down on hers in a passionate embrace.

Under the shining moonlight, the young couple cemented their engagement with a sensual kiss. The only sound that could be heard was the gentle crashing waves hitting the shore only a few feet away from them.

They spent the night sitting there together. They talked about the future, their hopes and dreams for their life together. They watched the stars high in the midnight black sky shining brightly, and the wispy clouds float effortlessly across the sparkling white moon.

It was very late, but neither wanted the night to end. It was too perfect a moment; one of those times you wished you could bottle up and uncork each time you felt down or sad.

They kissed, hugged or just sat there in each other’s arms, soaking up the atmosphere the two of them created. Feeling her head against his chest made Max’s heart soar to new heights. He would make her his wife as soon as he could, and he couldn’t wait.

Feeling his strong arms around her body, she smiled into his chest. It really was a perfect moment to Liz, something she hadn’t thought she’d ever experienced six months previously. It had been a long hard road, but Max Evans had been just what she needed to finally put the ghost of her first love to rest. Not only had Max shaken her from the pit of despair she’d fallen into, but he’d given her a strong hand and a mountain of love to envelope her in. He’d helped her to open up once more, and reap the rewards of passion. He’d taught her to love again, plain and simple.

Finally relinquishing their comfortable spot on the soft sand, hand in hand they finally rose to their feet and headed back towards their villa by the beach.

Stripping away their clothes with ease, Max pulled off the wooden lid to the hot tub, before submerging his body into the boiling steamed water. Holding a hand out for Liz, he helped her in, marvelling to himself at how beautiful her naked body looked silhouetted against the shining moon.

As she stepped inside the warm water, he held out his arms, eager to encase her in himself. Accepting his embrace with ease, she sat down next to him on the ledge in the tub before leaning in to carry on the kisses they’d exchanged on the beach.

The cool breeze whistled gently, the palm trees swayed and the cool sea only metres away lapped at the soft sand, but neither Max nor Liz noticed. For them, only one person mattered in the whole of the world at that moment, the other. His warm arms wrapped around her stomach, before swiftly lifting her so she sat across his lap.

His fingers took a handful of her now damp hair, knotting it before releasing and reclaiming the strands. Pulling her head backwards slightly, he took her mouth with urgency, allowing all his emotions and bent up tension to pour out into the kiss. Their lips caressed and their tongues duelled for supremacy as if their whole lives depended on it.

Allowing a free hand to move from her waist, it travelled upwards to cup an exposed breast. A squeal of astonishment passed her lips at his touch, but his mouth swallowed it up. Kneading her soft mound, he allowed the tingles from his fingers to travel through his body. His blood was boiling, thundering through his ears will all the grace of an express train on a non-stop route. His chest was heaving, his heart beat racing, but he didn’t care. All the feelings he was experiencing were like a drug, an addiction there was no cure for.

Finally breaking contact with his lips, Liz threw her head backwards, needing a moment to drag in some much required oxygen. It felt like his hands were all over her scorching skin, his fingers leaving imaginary burn marks as if branding her to him always and forever.

Descending his lips towards her, he nipped and kissed at her ear, slowly moving downwards past her jaw, loving her neck and shoulders before continuing further until he met her glorious bust. With ease he hoisted her up further out of the water, before moving in to capture her mound with his hot lips.

Scorching, searing red and orange images splintered through the blackness of her mind as his lips continued their onslaught of her body. He was sending her to heaven and back with just his mouth and feather light fingers. Her head rolled back again, opening her body to him even more. Her eyes dropped to dreamy half-mast, her breath quickening in shallow spurts.

“God your beautiful.” He murmured huskily, before lowering her body back into the warmth of the water. All she could do was smile though, passion had severed her ability to think let alone speak vocal words.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she eased back onto his lap and kissed him hard once more. This kiss was more reckless, more passionate, their lower bodies touching finally. Writhing on his lap, instinctively she ground her hips into him, unable to keep her body still.

Her fingers clawed and grabbed at his neck and hair as he moved his hands to her hips. Rocking her gently he quickly found a pace that before long would drive them both crazy. He tugged gently on her bottom lip as they kissed, trying to restrain his body’s urgent call to bury himself deep inside her.

The soft humming bubbles from the hot tub circled around them, but they were heating the water up just by the own blazing body temperatures. His hands left her hips, knowing he needed to slow down, instead running his palms across her round bottom caressing it before dancing his fingers along the length of her spine.

Her long fingers moved down his sparsely haired chest, before enclosing around his throbbing heat. It was his turn to throw his head backwards and drop his eyelids closed. Over and over she caressed him, watching in enjoyment the changes in his body, all conjured from her touch. His breath hitched in rasps, his eyes dark and stormy each time he opened them to stare at her.

Slipping his fingers further into the water he sought out her own hot heat, before brushing the pads of his fingers across her own desire. The delicate touch had the desired affect for him, her hold on his body easing just slightly. Again he teased her; brushing over and over so gently she could barely feel it.

In desperation she pushed her hips towards his hand, telling him in no uncertain terms that she was in no mood for teasing. Obliging with a smug smile across his face, he touched her more strongly, before allowing his fingers to dip into her velvet hot heat. Once more her head fell backwards glorifying in everything he was doing to her body. She no longer had control, no longer had any sane thoughts or rationale in her mind. Her soul belonged to him. At that moment he could have asked for the world and she would have said yes just for him to continue kindling the throbbing ache charging through her body.

“I want you.” She breathed hoarsely, the urgency in her voice clearly evident. “I need you.” She added, dipping her mouth to his ear and murmuring the words in a seductive tone.

The soft words were like music to his ears, his body reacting violently in anticipation. Their soulful brown eyes locked together as he gently lifted her body up, before lowing her just as slowly, allowing himself to bury deep inside her warmth.

A soft, almost comforting sigh passed her lips, her eyes closing briefly as she allowed her body to revel in the knowledge it had what she wanted. Opening her eyes and seeing his jet back pupils staring back with stormy need, however, sent her pulse raising and the ache in the pit of her stomach doubled further.

His hands swiftly moved to her hips, resting for a moment before easing her body upwards and then bringing it down again. Her palms rested on his chest, the torturous pace driving her to the brink of insanity.

Incessant need and desire thrummed through their bodies, the pace upping with each stroke. Slamming into her with such force he felt sure she must be experiencing some pain, but the look on her silhouetted face was one of pure ecstasy and pleasure, not a flicker of hurt to be seen.

Their eyes stayed locked together, pouring in and out of each other’s soul as if they were one. Liquid bodies crashed together before they finally drove on towards their peak.

Reaching together they crashed over the edge in rapturous motions. Droves of emotional feelings drowned them both, wondrousness of climaxing together taking them higher before they slowly came down.

Hugging her close to his chest, he encouraged her to lay her head down on his shoulder for a few moments as they both tried to catch their breath. Inhaling deeply, he allowed the beautiful aroma of Liz to fill his senses as her heaving chest pounded against his.

Together they stayed in the warmth of the hot tub, talking, hugging and kissing. Eventually the sparkling white moon went down to rest and the warm orange sun slowly rose on another spectacular day on the romantic island.

“I’ve never seen the sun rise before.” Liz said as they watched it splinter over the horizon.
“That makes two of us.” He replied, kissing the tip of her nose. “And I plan there to be many more things we experience for the first time together.” He added.

Reluctantly they finally climbed out of the hot tub, falling eagerly into the comfort of their four-poster bed.

Wrapped tightly in his strong arms, Liz fell asleep, the beautiful ring on her wedding finger indication that the engagement was real and she hadn’t imagined it. She really was going to marry Max Evans!

TBC ………………..?


Ok guys, that’s your lot until March!

I intend to do writing during the 9-hour flight but nothing will be posted until I get back. Have fun, and I’ll tell you all about LA, meeting Shiri and Majandra and the Roswell Party when I get back!!!! *big*

Take care

Author: Kazza – 12th February 2001
Feed back is very welcome and appreciated
E-Mail: Kaznstu⊕
This story is archived on my website,

[ edited 1 time(s), last at 12-Feb-2002 2:37:44 PM ]
posted on 13-Feb-2002 1:36:29 PM by Kazza
Hey guys,

Firstly , as always, your feedback is amazing! Thank you so much! NC-17 always worries me when I post it, so to know you guys are enjoying it means a lot to me.

Kelly to answer your question about the pictuers at the end of my posts. They are created in a graphic's package called Photosuite, but you could probably use Photoshop or similar also. All I do is blend the images - it's quite easy really. Hope this answers your query.

Take care
posted on 1-Mar-2002 10:48:15 AM by Kazza
Hey guys,

Just wanted to let you know I'm back from LA now. I'm happy and contented, if not a little tired and a touch sad my holiday's over now.

BUT, I had an awesome time, and got to meet Shiri, Majandra, Nick, Brendan and Adam! Pictures will be on my website in due time!!! *happy*

Anyways, I'll post the next part of Something to Believe in asap, probably late tomorrow or Sunday.

Take care